Donald J Trump suddenly found himself on the ground in Metropolis Park. He was wearing his typical suit with an American flag pin. His hair was a bit ruffled but otherwise, he seemed physically fine. He groggily struggled to get to his feet and looked around. What he saw utterly amazed him. On all sides of him, he saw the massive futuristic skyscrapers of Metropolis, the monorail system, and the flying vehicles.
A random orange soccer ball went his way. "Are you okay, Sir?" three boys asked as they went to get their ball. The three boys were wearing flashy futuristic casual clothes.
"Where am I? What is this place?" Trump asked confused.
"Metropolis. Do you need help, Sir?" they asked.
"No, I think I'm fine, thank you," Trump said curtly. He walked out of the park and onto the sidewalks where he was nearly hit by several hovering scooter vehicles. "Holy shit," he realized and backed up.
Trump then interacted with the common people in the city square. As soon as he was noticed, the civilians started taking pictures of him. Few, if any, knew who he was but his suit, skin color, and hair color were all odd to them. They figured he was some kind of weird-ass alien. Social media posts of Trump were quickly discovered and analyzed by Brainiac 5 who was always watching.
Trump wasn't sure what to make of the locals as they all had tan skin and dark hair. He figured he might be in some minority neighborhood or something. He couldn't help but notice a statue of Supergirl in the center of the square. "Where is Trump Tower?" Trump asked a local.
Suddenly, the crowd started to realize who Trump was due to social media traffic and began to crowd around him. "What year is it? What the fuck is going on here?" Trump asked the curious crowd.
Federal agents swarmed the area and began breaking up the crowd. The Brainiac 5 drones gathered around Trump and quickly loaded him into a transport vehicle to be taken to the DEO.
Brainiac 5 quickly got Trump a smartphone and his favorite plate of well-done steak, ketchup, mac-and-cheese, vanilla-cherry ice cream, a pack of Oreos, and a glass of Diet Coke. "Wow, this looks great, and I am starving," Trump said of the meal.
"Enjoy, Mr. President. The Supreme Leader will be with you shortly," Brainiac 5 said sitting across from him.
Trump ate his food while looking over his new smartphone. "Thirty-first century, really?" he asked surprised.
"Indeed. We will, of course, be analyzing how you came to be in the future and how to send you back," Brainiac 5 confirmed.
"And who are you?" Trump asked confused.
"I am Brainiac Systems Model Five, but people call me Barney," Brainiac 5 said. "We met on a few occasions at the DEO during your first term."
"Oh, yeah, now I recognize you. I never forget a face," Trump nodded. "How do you find your way to the future?"
"I am actually immortal or as close to immortal as one can be. I've lived over the last thousand years," Brainiac 5 replied.
"You're a robot, right?" Trump guessed.
"Cybernetic organism, Mr. President," Brainiac 5 said gently.
"Like The Terminator?" Trump assumed.
"A bit more advanced," Brainiac 5 allowed.
"You know, Arnold endorsed Harris, so terrible. He was such a rising star until it was found out he had an affair with his maid. I think he even could have been president. So sad," Trump remarked.
"Yes," Brainiac 5 humored him.
"Who is your chef? This is great," Trump said as he ate a piece of his well-done steak into his ketchup sauce.
"I prepared the meal," Brainiac 5 said. "I'm happy it is to your liking."
"I'm a man of simple tastes," Trump said humbly.
Kara then entered the room wearing her white dress uniform. "Amazing. Is it really him?" she asked stunned.
"He's a DNA match," Brainiac 5 said and handed her a datapad.
Kara glanced at it and then put it down. Trump got up and addressed her. "It's been too long," Trump smiled as he shook her hand.
"Likewise," Kara smiled amused but then frowned as she turned to Brainiac 5. "Time travel, multiverse?" she asked him.
"Tachyon particle analysis indicates he's from the past. He is our version," Brainiac 5 confirmed.
"How did he get here?" Kara asked alarmed.
"Unknown but I will endeavor to find out," Brainiac 5 assured her.
"I will do everything in my power to get you back to the 21st century," Kara promised Trump.
"It's really important I get back. I just won reelection," Trump revealed.
Kara simply stared at him. "You...won...again?"
"Is that not known in the future?" Trump asked confused.
"A lot of information on the 21st century is incomplete," Kara said and then gave Brainiac 5 a look.
"It would explain how he is perceived to be the greatest American president," Brainiac 5 said thoughtfully.
"When you lost...I had doubts. Forgive me," Kara bowed her head.
"You are forgiven," Trump smiled as he crossed her.
"When we send him back, it will be the same day he won the reelection. It will be as if he never left so there's no urgency to send him back right now," Brainiac 5 advised.
"If you're okay with that, we'd like to figure out how you here in the first place and to make sure it doesn't happen again. I'll give you a tour of the 31st century and treat you as a guest of honor," Kara said to Trump.
"I'm fine with that, actually," Trump agreed.
Kara eyed Trump's plate and then turned to Brainiac 5. "Bring in some KFC. It's time to celebrate."
That night, Kara walked with Trump around Metropolis. "I came to this time an orphan. Everything was in a state of ruin and chaos, so I decided to run as its Supreme Leader. I became a dictator on day one," Kara said conversationally.
"Nice," Trump said agreeably.
"I saw you at some of your rallies, mixed in with the crowd," Kara revealed.
"You were there?" Trump asked astonished.
"And seeing you there, I realized it was our destiny for us to be together. I want to promote you, Mr. President. You have such tremendous energy on stage," Kara said adoringly. "The same energy that gets some people into a frenzy."
"I cannot stop what some people do at my rallies," Trump shrugged.
"Right...," Kara said giving him a sidewise look.
The two toured Trump Tower and went to the top. "You're not scared of heights, are you?"
"Nah," Trump said dismissively as he looked over Metropolis. There, he saw what could be. He saw a shiny futuristic city with skyscrapers that dwarfed anything he had ever seen before. The city was perfectly clean and organized.
"While you're here in the future, I can get you on TV, movie deals, you name it," Kara offered.
"Kara, you're the best person I could work with. Let's make Trump Great Again," Trump smiled.
"We can be great together, but I'll have to manage your schedule...exclusively. I'm not going to hold you back. I'll give you global distribution," Kara said.
Kara brought Trump to the Palace and gave him a tour. "I started taking over the planet in 3017. I repelled alien invasions and secured our planetary borders. I brought peace and order to the entire world. Through drone automation, I control the economy except for some city-states where people are free to buy and sell, gamble, go crazy," Kara explained.
"It sounds super, Kara," Trump said impressed.
"Since I'm the Supreme Leader, I own an entire galactic quadrant and all of its resources," Kara bragged. "I have so much wealth I don't know what to do with it."
"I had the same dilemma, Kara. After making billions, I wanted to give back. I want to take our country back from the corrupt special interests," Trump said.
"Well, those assholes that got in our way are now long gone," Kara smiled. "Now, everyone is promoted on merit. While you're here, I'm going to make you a regional governor...retired," Kara said and then handed him a new general's uniform that fit him.
"Very nice," he said looking the uniform over.
"Mr. President, you have a gift. It's like you have two men inside you," Kara said and then winced, hoping Trump didn't detect the fat joke.
"So, does that mean I can buy a Mercedes-Benz?" Trump joked.
"You could buy two if you want," Kara rolled her eyes.
"A hundred," Trump challenged.
"Two hundred, a thousand," Kara told him.
"A million," Trump joked using his hands for emphasis.
"A private jet," Kara suggested.
"A spaceship," Trump countered. "I've always wanted to go to space, faster than light, to the edge of the solar system, like you."
"I can make it happen. You, ready?" Kara asked.
Kara gave Trump a tour of the solar system in a Charon-class shuttle and presented a three-hour casual podcast between Kara and Trump that was released to the world. Kara gave Trump his own suite at Trump Tower and showed off her own Midvale palace to him. The two discussed real estate in this new world. "So, I own all the land and building materials to start with. Then, I delegate to Barney to give everyone a housing quota based on their rank and family structure," Kara explained.
"So, when someone gets promoted, they get a bigger house?" Trump assumed.
"Or better land, better location, all pieces of land on the planet are calculated by their real estate value in advance," Kara said.
"What about supply and demand?" Trump asked.
"I own the entire supply, and I control the demand," Kara simply.
"I hope you don't take offense, but this sounds an awful lot like communism," Trump remarked.
Kara merely gave him a blank look. "Oh, well, you should look at it this way: I own everything, and I rent my land and housing to the entire human population which is my tenants."
"So, if someone loses rank or misbehaves, you evict them?" Trump figured.
"Exactly," Kara nodded.
"It's not that different than the military and no one supports the military more than I do," Trump said approvingly.
Out of loyalty and opportunism, Kara promoted Trump across the globe. He made speeches to filled-out stadiums and arenas discussing politics and history as he saw it. For the most part, humanity was enthralled with the orange-man relic from the past. Trump was able to talk for hours without a script on whatever he wanted to talk about. It wasn't long before Trump said something obnoxiously offensive toward someone or something. He quickly gained opposition around the world and in the World Senate.
"You need to put an end to your talking orange's behavior," Senator Eastland told Kara.
"Don't worry, Senator, he'll do as he's told," Kara assured him.
Kara had a sit down with Trump as to their next move. "I couldn't help but notice some people with 'I hate Trump' t-shirts and buttons," Trump said concernedly.
"Yes, well, you can be quite the polarizing figure," Kara said wide-eyed. "Don't worry about it. People wear the same stuff about me."
"But you control the economy so why don't you stop it?" Trump asked confused.
"Cuz, freedom of speech?" Kara guessed. "Also, we profit from this both ways."
"Have you seen the Daily Planet? They're saying me actually winning the 2020 election is a hoax. Fake news," Trump said peeved.
"We need to tone-done some of your rhetoric against all the dead people you're talking shit about like Biden, Harris, Pelosi, Obama...," Kara said. "Look, I got a simple plan. You do the Allen show, family style, then a children's charity event."
"I thought you ended poverty?" Trump asked confused.
"Well, I did, but every so often I shut down the system, so everyone is poor and has to work together. It's a spiritual thing," Kara explained. "Now, do you really want to get back into politics or show business?"
"What's the difference?" Trump smirked.
As it happened, toning down Trump was not what the general public wanted. They wanted him back on-stage talking shit about anything and everything as before. People began to protest against Kara's handling of Trump. In downtown Metropolis, Trump went off-script on his own surprising a music event. "So, I defeated crooked Hillary Clinton, the mother of ISIS, quite decisively. For years, her husband, Bill trafficked women with Jeffrey Epstein. So terrible, so sad. You know, they got one photo, one photo of me with Epstein and that's it. And that's somehow supposed to ignore everything Bill has done. I tell you, he's worse than Cosby, and everyone knew it, too, everyone. I was going to appoint Hillary to jail but the traitors in the Justice Department refused," Trump began.
After the event, Trump had a chat with some big shots. "Big Orange, you can wherever you want, talk where you want, and piss off anyone you want. You have to take control. The people like what you're saying," Cecil King told him.
"I just got to this time. I'm not looking to cause trouble," Trump said uncertainly.
"What are they going to do? Put you in jail? Too many high-ranking people like you," Cecil assured him.
Kara held another meeting with the World Senate committee over Trump. "Freedom of Speech is absolute but you own the economy, Supreme Leader. That means you own the news media, social media, and all public venues. All the lies and hate that comes from President Trump is your responsibility," Senator Eastland said to her.
"You act like he talks shit better than me," Kara said dismissively.
"He ranted against the Clintons non-stop for three hours," Senator Eastland informed her.
"Holy shit," Kara said amazed. "Well, who cares?"
"Eventually, he will turn against us," Senator Eastland said obviously.
Kara took Trump to a baseball game in a controlled environment. The military was prominently placed around the stage. "All you gotta do is stand there, smile, and talk about how baseball is awesome," Kara told him.
The Metropolis baseball stadium was packed, and the entire field became a mosh pit of interested fans. "There's been a lot of talk, a lot of talk, about me needing to tone down the way I talk...," Trump began.
The crowd booed loudly. "Let me just say, the DJT will always get it on," Trump assured the people. There was a roar of applause as Trump went off-script. "Let me talk about how I smashed Joe Biden, the one that liked to sniff and touch little girls. A mere shadow of Obama and I don't really like the shade. Just like his family, his campaign crashed and burned but they stole the election."
The crowd went wild not out of anger but joy and amusement. The military could barely contain the crowds that wanted to get on the stage and touch Trump. The Secret Service had to rush Trump off-stage as it became too much. Trump was tossed into a vehicle as the crowds swarmed him.
"Well...shit," Kara muttered.
Mars
In order to mitigate the controversy, Kara escorted Trump to various military bases off-planet starting with Mars. "You're a former commander-in-chief, so it's time to visit the troops and whatnot," Kara said to him.
"Sure," Trump agreed.
"I asked Sloppy Joe how tough he was up against the 45. I shot a hole through his party like I blew through Qasem Soleimani," Trump bragged. "Then I go bone Melania, my third wife. I smashed Joe just like China," Trump said to the navy personnel at the shipyards.
The sailors ate it up without question, but news was getting back to Earth anyway causing trouble for Kara.
Earth
After the military tour, Kara put Trump in the movie industry so she could control his scripts and what was released. Trump obliged the new assignment and participated in a number of documentary films about his life, his businesses, and his political career. However, Trump quickly became dissatisfied and became convinced by his new friends to take it to the next level. At Trump Tower, Trump met with Mr. Bender and Mr. Bone.
"When I first came to New York, I dreamt of being the greatest president. My presidency was beautiful then and now...it feels like a lot of things are different," Trump mused incoherently.
"We're big fans of you, Mr. Trump," Mr. Bender said nervously.
"Call me, Don," Trump allowed. "Be honest, where is my career going?"
"Well...it's bad, Don. You're not president in this time. You may be a high-ranking general but you're being made to do motivational speeches for the regime and make propaganda movies. It's beneath you," Mr. Bone said boldly.
"When I first started out in politics, they wanted to put me in jail, to kill me, all for loving this country. When they said I lost in 2020, I was lost for a while," Trump said reflectively. "I need to go back to who I really am."
"Who are you, Don?" Mr. Bender asked.
"I sure as hell not a mascot," Trump said definitively.
"Well, what does the Supreme Leader think about that?" Mr. Bender asked.
"I don't give a damn what Supergirl thinks," Trump said honestly.
"If you want to find yourself, you got to go back to your roots," Mr. Bone said vaguely.
"Metaphorically speaking, you have to get back to who you are politically," Mr. Bender clarified.
Trump was put on live television under Kara's supervision. Instead of wearing his futuristic general uniform, he came out in his signature blue suit from the 21st century. "The way Kamala Harris divided our country, I should call her Cameltoe Harris," Trump began.
"Holy Shit," Kara said stunned.
"A man handed her everything she ever did. She couldn't make her own way. She couldn't even make her own kids," Trump added. "She failed the bar exam her first try. I guess the half of her that partied and smoked weed during college was the black part. I don't know. Maybe."
Kara was about to intervene, but the crowd was loving it, and the ratings were sky-high. "You'll be hearing from the Senate over this," Senator Eastland said to Kara over the phone.
"I am the Senate," Kara told him off.
During the break, Kara pulled Trump aside in the dressing room. "Your job isn't to talk shit about every grievance you had in the 21st century," she scolded.
"My job?" Trump scoffed.
"That's right, asshole. You work for me. Everyone works for me," Kara said wide-eyed.
"And they call me the unhinged one," Trump mocked.
"The 21st century is over. It has nothing to do with us anymore," Kara told him.
"It has everything to do with us. That's the time where we're from," Trump pointed out.
"I just don't think you should be making speeches about politics and religion," Kara said with a cringe expression.
"I was nearly shot to death. Do you think I care about how many MAGA ballcaps you sell?" Trump asked.
"Yeah," Kara said obviously.
"That's fair," Trump nodded.
"Look, I'm on your side, Don. I want to promote you. That's what I do to my good friends," Kara said.
"Well, I'm Donald Trump. That's what I do," Trump said forcefully.
"You actually think going out there in your old blue suit and tie mumbling incoherently is a good show?" Kara asked incredulously.
"I always excite an audience. I have the biggest rallies of all time no matter what time I'm in," Trump said defensively.
"That's not a real audience. They're handpicked by me, directed to applaud at the right moment by me. You're embarrassing yourself and me," Kara revealed. "Now, you're going to follow my script, or I will have to leave you. Then, you'll be fucked."
Trump stared Kara down. "Hmm...," he said as he thought about his next move.
"I'll see you tomorrow one way or another," Kara said and then left the room.
Trump addressed the crowd with a live audience once more with Kara watching in the studio. "I love women. They've come into my life. They've gone out of my life. Even those who have exited somewhat ungracefully still have a place in my heart. I only have one regret in the women department. Women have one of the great acts of all time. The smart ones act very feminine and needy, but inside they are real killers. The person who came up with the expression 'the weaker sex' was either very naive or had to be kidding. I have seen women manipulate men with just a twitch of their eye...or perhaps another body part. And, you know, it doesn't really matter what they write as long as you've got a young and beautiful piece of ass. It's so true," Trump mused.
Kara simply mouthed a WTF but let him continue. "And Kara doesn't want me to say these things. Oh, well. Unfortunately, sadly, she's no longer a ten. She's so upset with me that you can see there is blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her... wherever," Trump continued.
Kara was about to step in but then Trump went to another random topic. "It's like in golf. A lot of people, I don't want this to sound trivial, but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It's queer. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can't sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be queer, but I am a traditionalist. Speaking of which, Alex Danvers is not a war hero, alright. People think she's a hero because she gets captured so many times. I prefer my war heroes not get captured."
After the show, Kara was furious, but the ratings were at all-time levels. As it happened, Trump challenging Kara and her family actually boosted his popularity as a strong alpha male leader. "Art of the Deal," Trump smiled at a fuming Kara.
Kara was about to punish Trump for his insolence when he suddenly had a health scare and ended up at Metropolis General. Kara went to visit Trump as soon as he stabilized. Kara was briefed on his condition by Brainiac 5. "I have cleaned out his arteries and enhanced his heart but there is only so much that can be done right now," Brainiac 5 said to her.
"If he dies before we can send him back, history is fucked," Kara reminded him.
"If we sent him back through time in his current condition, he will be fucked," Brainiac 5 told her.
Kara then addressed Trump in the hospital bed. "Mr. President, how are you?"
"I should be out there speaking to the people, but I'm a little laid out right now," Trump admitted.
"Well, I shouldn't have worried because you always come through like you always do...mostly. I admit it, I was wrong. No one can wow a crowd like you can," Kara allowed. "But I don't think Metropolis is the best venue for someone like you. I think we should move to Las Vegas."
Las Vegas
In Las Vegas, Kara promised Trump that if things went well there, he could tour around the world with his "message." In reality, Kara wanted to keep him in Las Vegas indefinitely. Since Las Vegas was a capitalist autonomous zone, Trump's speeches were private and not broadcasted to the rest of the world. People could come to Las Vegas to see Trump if they wished, but it was not the same exposure as before. Kara made a deal with her favorite Las Vegas hotel, Kara's Palace. Whereas the old Caesar's Palace had superficial Roman architecture and statues of Roman gods, Kara's Palace paid homage to Supergirl and all things Kryptonian.
"That is one big stage and I've seen a lot," Trump remarked on it.
"Biggest in Las Vegas," Kara confirmed. "With a stage this large, you could give the world the greatest show on Earth."
"I've been thinking...about things," Trump considered.
"Great, because now you'll be able to say whatever it is in your head on this big stage," Kara said condescendingly.
"What about the costs?" Trump asked going into business-mode.
"I've worked out a deal with the hotel. They need to draw guests in so they're going to cover all of the costs. You just do your thing here and then we can organize an international tour. No financial risk whatsoever," Kara assured him.
"God damn, Supergirl strikes again," Trump smiled.
As expected, Trump drew a large crowd and said some crazy shit. "When I was president, we rounded up all the illegal space aliens in a very humane way, in a very nice way. And some were happy because they want to be legalized. And, by the way, I know it doesn't sound nice. But not everything is nice. I was watching this space alien migration. And I see the people. I mean, they're men. They're mostly men, and they're strong men. These are physically young, strong men. They look like prime-time soldiers. Now, that's not exactly true but I don't...do...politeness. So, you ask two things. Number one, why aren't they fighting for their planet? And number two, I don't want these people coming over here."
The crowd ate it up enjoying the history lesson. "I was down there, and I watched our police and our firemen, down at the 7-Eleven store, down at the World Trade Center, right after it came down. When the Kryptonian invasion with General Zod occurred in the early 2000s, I think I could have stopped it because I have very tough illegal immigration policies, and people aren't coming into this country unless they're vetted and vetted properly. And, I asked myself, 'Why are we having all these people from shithole planets coming here?', and no one could answer me that," Trump declared. "But I must say, on the whole, I have a great relationship with space aliens, as you possibly have heard. I just have great respect for them. And they like me. I like them."
The crowd applauded including the visiting space-aliens in attendance. "Now, if you look at Supergirl, she killed alien terrorists. I'm not saying she was an angel, but this girl killed terrorists," Trump said smiling.
Kara waved embarrassedly to the crowd from her box as she was applauded. During the break, Kara turned to her capitalist investors. "If I was you, I would book him for a thousand years, literally. But he also wants to do a world tour. So, you're going to pay up if you want to have Kara's Palace be Trump's new home," Kara told them.
"Kara, you're breaking our balls here. You're already richer than God," KP's owner, Cecil King, complained.
"When it came to Agent Liberty and the Children of Liberty's conflict with space aliens, I condemned in the strongest possible terms the egregious display of hatred, bigotry and violence on many sides. On many sides," Trump continued.
Kara frowned at that but then went back to business. "This is what my man is going to want," she said and handed them a piece of paper with lots of zeroes.
"I'm the least racist person you have ever encountered," Trump added.
"And this is what I want you to pay me," Kara added to her business partners.
"You want half? You must be joking," Cecil rejected.
"No...I'm not, I'm not," Kara said dead serious.
"Nobody has better respect for intelligence than Donald Trump," Trump informed the crowd.
"Supreme Leader, your man is the jackpot. If you keep bringing him back, we'll make it worth your while," Cecil promised.
"In life you have to rely on the past, and that's called history," Trump concluded.
Trump then hung out with the crowd for a few moments but didn't shake anyone's hand or allow anyone to touch him.
Back stage, Kara met with Trump. "Your greatest triumph. You're the greatest show on Earth. We did it."
"I guess we did," Trump shrugged with a smile.
Trump held a friendly press conference afterward. "Ladies and gentlemen, The President of the United States, Donald J. Trump," Kara introduced.
"Well, I'm not president in this time. Kara is the real president," Trump said jokingly.
"Will you take a world tour?" one reporter asked.
"There's so many places I haven't been yet. I'd like to go to Russia, to Korea. I had really good friends there," Trump said.
Kara continued to give Trump BS about his security and the need to stay in Las Vegas. She sent Trump death threats, herself, and then hired people to assault him on stage to make it seem like he was under constant attack. To continue the deception, Kara hired other people to "punk" members of the World Senate she didn't like.
During a physical exam at the hospital, Trump was showing improvement in his health due to futuristic technology. "What ever happened to law and order on this planet? Hippies and radicals, pushing and shoving important politicians. Has the world gone mad? Your security is not what it needs to be. An international tour is out of the question," Kara said.
"I'm not about to let these sons of bitches tell me where I can go," Trump rejected.
"You are Donald Trump. You are beloved. Do you know what a pain in ass it's going to be for me to look into the camera and announce you dead. I might even shed a tear," Kara said.
"I'm not going to disappoint my many many fans," Trump insisted.
"What about an American tour, fifteen cities in fifteen days? How about making America great again and having some fun while we're at it?" Kara enticed.
Trump toured the major capitals of America and Canada which were divided into 13 countries of similar GDP size. This put him in Toronto, Boston, Metropolis, Philadelphia, Richmond, Orlando, Nashville, Chicago, Detroit, Dallas, Seattle, San Francisco, and Phoenix. The tour was a great hit, so Kara kept making it happen four times in a row. At the same time, she broadcasted Trump, at his best, to 1.5 billion people throughout the Galactic Federation using sub-space radio towers. While all of this was happening, Trump continued to improve in his health.
However, things came to a head between Kara and Trump over the little detail of going home. Trump wanted to go back to being President for real and seeing his family while Kara wanted to keep things going. Trump also started to oppose Kara's experiment with humanity calling it communism and alien. Trump finally let loose against Kara in a wild speech in Las Vegas.
"Kara said, 'We're safe with her. We're safe.' Well, it seems Earth is always facing an alien invasion or some other disaster. Now, am I trying to blame her? I'm not blaming anybody. But we've been attacked many times. So, when she said, we were safe, that's not safe," Trump began.
Kara cocked an eyebrow at that as she renegotiated a new deal with Cecil. "The only card she has is the woman's card. She's got nothing else to offer and frankly, if Kara were a man, I don't think she'd get anywhere. The only thing she's got going is the woman's card, and the beautiful thing is, women don't like her," Trump continued.
The crowd laughed amused, not taking him too seriously. "Crooked Kara is the worst and biggest loser of all time. She just can't stop, which is so good for the democracy and freedom. Kara is unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why her husband keeps leaving her to score with other women, it's a good decision if you ask me. If Kara can't satisfy her husband, what makes her think she can satisfy America?" Trump insulted.
Kara stood up and the crowd went silent. "This is the last speech I make here. I'm going to get in my spaceship and I'm going to fly away. No one is going to stop the 45, believe me," Trump said to the crowd.
Kara went on stage as the curtains fell. "Kara, you're fired," Trump said to her.
"You can't fire me. I own this planet. I don't work for you. You work for me," Kara told him off.
Trump simply flipped her off and walked off the stage.
Kara and Trump faced off in the hotel parking lot. "You, blood-sucking vampire, you bleed this world dry, but you still want more," Trump accused.
"I'm not entirely uncaring," Kara rolled her eyes.
"I want out of our contract. I want to go back," Trump demanded.
"Sure, after we write up a contract on every single action you'll take as president, to be enforced by my Russian clone in the 21st century," Kara ordered.
"You think you can put claws into me and have me work for you? The President of the United States will never work for a space-alien like you," Trump rejected.
"Remember the good old days when you wanted to tour the galaxy at faster than the speed of light. We can still make that happen," Kara offered.
"Who are you? Really?" Trump questioned.
"I am you, and you are me. Everyone you've ever associated with lives from you. That's right, even your third wife and kids look after themselves, before you. Yes, I live from you, too, indirectly, sort of, at the DEO. But the difference is that you have also lived from me. We are the same, you and I. We are two odd, lonely, children, reaching for eternity. And to my way of thinking, we traveled beyond our wildest dreams. No one will ever understand you better. And if you do decide to leave, I'll be lonely," Kara said bluntly.
Trump simply gave her a blank stare. "But I think you may be lonely, too. You know, my man, the truth about greatness is that is forever just beyond our reach," Kara reminded him.
Metropolis
Kara left Trump in Las Vegas to do whatever he wanted and went back to managing Earth at the Palace. "It's a sad day when the Daily Planet turns against me like this," Kara said annoyed.
"There may be away to deflect further criticism: Trump," Brainiac 5 suggested.
"What does he have to do with this?" Kara asked confused.
"He's a symbol of a bygone era, of privilege and inequality, empire and extravagance," Brainiac 5 said delicately.
"Not to mention a pompous ass," Kara agreed. "Vain, crooked, power mad. What are you proposing?"
"We send him back to the past where he belongs," Brainiac 5 suggested.
"I don't know, Barney. I kind of feel it's better that he be inside the 31st century tent pissing out than in the 21st century tent outside pissing in," Kara said reflectively.
"But he belongs to another time. It makes economic sense and shows you're tough," Brainiac 5 insisted. "It might also get you some good headlines."
"Well, I'm sold on that," Kara agreed.
Kara appropriately made the decision to send Trump back to the past and his report date to the time machine via text message. She did send him a farewell cake. While Trump did want to go back and be president, he didn't like how he was being treated so coldly. Kara then made the announcement public through the Daily Planet. The Daily Planet decided to talk shit about that decision as well.
Kara distracted herself by going to a foot race only to have her champion lose. "Well...shit," Kara sighed. "My runner is always on top and now he barely competes. What the fuck is going on?" Kara demanded of Brainiac 5 next to her.
"It's possible the system you set up is now obsolete. I would follow the lead of those who actually win," Brainiac 5 advised. "Perhaps you should tour the Titan Empire for inspiration."
"Can I do that? I thought I had a job to do," Kara wondered.
"There are experienced people you can deputize while you're away from Earth," Brainiac 5 reminded her.
Las Vegas
Trump started to do chats with smaller groups of elites on the history of the 21st century as he saw it. "I remember how it was fought. The old way, the honorable way, and that swift exhilarating sweep of victory. I met the Democratic machine, and I tore it apart. Yes, we, Americans, will always have our past glories to look back on. But what of this new generation? Decline, irrelevance, devaluation of the dollar to nothing. That is terrible future that faces them. The very foundation of our economy, our currency, is completely upside down. So, if the only glories we can celebrate are our past glories, we should celebrate them now. Who will join me?"
"Make America Great Again," the crowd cheered enthusiastically.
Titan
Kara met with Titan officials and examined their racing training program. She found it highly superior to what she was doing on Earth. Kara greeted the bioengineers and toured the training facilities. Afterwards, she had a lunch with Brainiac 5 to summarize the situation. "They're super. Not just in their facilities but their entire attitude toward bioengineering. Tell me, honestly. Is it over? Have I slipped too far behind? Am I fucked?"
"Not yet but if you want to keep up, you will need to act decisively now, rethinking the operation from the top, changing the personnel, changing the approach," Brainiac 5 said. "You need to fire all the humans and replace them with drones except the racer, of course."
"Replacing humans with drones in every category of life is getting me into trouble," Kara considered.
"Do you want to win or not?" Brainiac 5 asked.
"I'll ask Alex what she thinks about it. Where is she now?" Kara asked.
"Stationed on Arrakis," Brainiac 5 replied.
"Alex hates feeling old and useless. I'm sure she'll relish the chance of being at my side, the big chief again, instead of some grunt," Kara figured.
Las Vegas
Trump met with some big-shot capitalists who were disgruntled with the way the country was going and wanted to make even more money. "The great country of America is no longer. It's been divided into thirteen countries, the dollar is gone, and foreign policy is now in the hands of the Crown. Our national security is dependent on a drone military controlled by the Crown. Our so-called allies answer to the Crown, not to America. We are effectively a vassal state, a pariah state. I don't know about you, Trump, but I'm pissed off," Cecil King said to him.
"And to that end, my associates and I have come up with a plan to put the country back on track," Cecil continued.
"Which is...what?" Trump asked.
"Installing a new emergency government that will replace all the thirteen prime ministers. In its place, we would need to install a strong male leader, not a wishy-washy bleeding-heart vagina," Cecil said boldly. "Someone who could unite the nation, command its respect. Someone who has stepped into a national leadership role before."
"Sounds like a coup," Trump said slightly concerned.
"The circumstances of a Kryptonian Supergirl controlling the planet and carving the world up like a pie are unprecedented and quite exceptional. Kara has destroyed the capitalist system, shut down the banks, eliminated currency, and made the entire human race dependent on her drone workforce. She has control over the entire economy, the drone military, our foreign affairs with alien empires, and interspace travel. The human race is effectively in a zoo with a few island cities still free," Cecil said peeved.
"She has declared war on freedom, capitalism, and democracy. We must act now not just to save America but the world. We are proposing a radical revolution led by bankers, businessmen, and the human armed forces. Professionals that can save us from drone infiltration. And as our interim leader, we can think of no one better than you," Cecil concluded.
Count me in," Trump said agreeably. "Tell me more and what I can do to help."
Arrakiss
Kara visited the Space Marine fort on Arrakiss during a sandstorm. Captain Handcock went out to meet her. "Sorry about the weather, Supreme Leader," he apologized as the sandstorm raged around them.
"I'd like a tour," Kara requested.
"Right this way, Supreme Leader," Captain Handcock said as they walked through the sandy streets in the sandstorm. The two entered the mess hall with the cooks. "Our cooks make sure our Space Marines have their essential minerals: calcium, sulfur. Correct nutrition is vital when it comes to bone strength and bone formation. What we're looking for is greater integration between our practices with studs and clinical research."
"Certainly, this is the new millennium," Kara said impressed. "In technology, management of the men, and a willingness to embrace new ideas, you have reached a new level."
"Thank you, Supreme Leader," Cpt. Handcock said pleased.
"May I see your training facilities?" Kara requested.
Las Vegas
Trump met with the corporate conspirators once more in secret. "In the past decade, there have been 73 coups in 46 different places around the world. That's a hell of a lot, wouldn't you say? Some were successful, some not so successful. What all coups have in common are control of the media, very important, control of the economy, the capture of administrative targets, and loyalty of the military. To take Metropolis, we would have to take control of the Palace, the Capitol building, Department of Defense, and other cabinet offices. You'd have to shut down the airports, air traffic control, train stations, curfews, martial law, and the police," Trump began.
"Now, before, it was a lot easier, believe me, to already be in power and just not leave office. What we need are tens of thousands of loyal American patriots," Trump said. "Now, the courts, the law, the constitution are all against us and would need to be overthrown as well. Gentlemen, I don't think this is going to work, I really don't, unless...we force the Supreme Leader to stand down."
"The Supreme Leader can dismiss the government, give herself emergency powers, declare a state of emergency by proclamation, can dissolve the legislatures of all the countries in America, and commander in chief of the armed forces. She is...basically Caesar. The only path to victory, my friends, is through her," Trump concluded.
"So, how do we get her to step down?" Cecil asked.
"We'll have to convince her and her handlers she can't run the country. For years, the media covered up Biden's cognitive decline until he debated me. Then, it was too obvious to cover it up. His handlers forced him out of the race. That's how we do it," Trump figured.
Arrakiss
Kara continued to avoid Alex as she ate a Space Marine meal at the mess hall. She gave the food a curious look but then turned to Brainiac 5. "Honestly, this is how I like to spend all my time, Barney: Owning people, breeding people, racing people. It's what makes me truly happy. And, actually, I think it's what I was born to do, until my planet exploded, I ended up Earth and became a gossip reporter. I've had to do a job I wasn't meant to do, putting out all of these fires on Earth constantly. All I've always wanted to do was breed speedsters," Kara revealed.
"Well, you're not that bad at it," Brainiac 5 told her.
"You're too kind. And on days like this, in places like this, in company like this, I get a glimpse of what might have been," Kara said reflectively. "The unlived life. How much happier I might have been instead of killing fools and galactic domination."
"You have a phone call from Seattle," Brainiac 5 told her.
"Fuck me," Kara sighed and then took the call with her smartphone. "What is it?"
"I have reason to believe there is a full-blown plot against me and the democratically elected Royalist government that governs in your name being led by a certain former American president," Buck Star, the Prime Minister of the Pacific Midwest, informed Kara. The Pacific Midwest went from Washington, to North Dakota, to Kansas, to Nevada.
"Who?" Kara asked playing dumb.
"President Trump," Buck Star said grimly. "And he's in cahoots with Cecil King, the owner of Kara's Palace in Las Vegas, has been attempting to overthrow the government. Now, I feel obliged to remind you that tolerance of President Trump, worldwide, is hanging by thread as it is. Throughout my time in office, I've done my best to serve the Crown but if word breaks out, the Republicans will use it against me, which I have successfully controlled until now."
"Leave him to me," Kara ordered and hung up.
Kara finally met up with Alex at the guard walls. "I'll secure this section of the wall. Bring Olsen to me," Kara ordered. Cpt. Handcock.
"As you wish, Supreme Leader," Cpt. Handcock replied and then ordered the men around.
Kara then faced Alex who had a short haircut, sunken eyes, and a weary expression on her face. Her uniform was also covered in dirt and sand. She was still an E-2 Neophyte and treated like one. "Enjoying yourself?" Kara asked.
"You come here to gloat?" Alex asked impatiently.
"Surely, this isn't the life you want, going on patrols, risking your life, living in inhuman conditions, trained and drilled to exhaustion. I know you're not partaking in drug treatments, surgical enhancements, and cybernetics. You're already at a disadvantage being a middle-aged woman. You will fall behind," Kara told her.
"And being a pampered princess isn't what I want either," Alex replied.
"There's another time traveler now. Trump is here now and he's living the good life in Las Vegas now. I've made him a general," Kara revealed.
"Bullshit," Alex scoffed.
"I'm not lying," Kara said seriously.
"So what?" Alex asked unimpressed. "You trying to make me envious by treating my archenemy with kindness?"
"Why must you refuse my kindness. Don't you deserve it after all the pain and suffering I've put you through. Why can you accept penance? Why can't you forgive?" Kara asked.
"If you were truly repentant, you would give up your crown," Alex told her off.
"And give it to Trump?" Kara asked her.
"No, Kara, anyone else but him," Alex said scornfully.
"What do you think I should do with him? He won the 2024 election, by the way," Kara said.
"Shit," Alex sighed.
"Yeah, you might not want to go back to the 21st century now," Kara said wide-eyed.
"No doubt you had Barney, Lex, and your fucking clone make it happen," Alex said pissed off.
"Maybe," Kara said unsure of herself.
"You let him win so I would never go back," Alex accused.
"Cut the bullshit, what should I do with him? You want me to lock him up, so he never goes back to the past? Then, Hillbilly Vance can be president, instead," Kara rolled her eyes.
"Fucking nightmare," Alex realized. "Did he win fair and square?"
"As far as I know," Kara replied.
"Then, he's the people's choice. You have to send him back. You might not trust in democracy, but I still do. Send him back," Alex told her.
Kara nodded. "Look, the moment you want to leave this hell, give me a call."
"I'm staying with the men until I can't any longer," Alex pledged.
Metropolis
Kara summoned Trump to the Palace. "You wanted to see me? Looks like great minds think alike. I was planning to come to Metropolis, myself," Trump said as he entered the room.
"I know what you talked about with your friends in Las Vegas. Do you deny it?" Kara asked crossly.
"Yes, I did have a chat at your casino to listen and meet with some important people, very good people, very patriotic people, who are horrified by what you have done to this country," Trump said boldly.
"What horrors? I've eliminated poverty, given the people a minimum income, universal education, health care, housing, vacation, and traveling allowance. I have created a meritocracy, a system where corrupt as fuck sociopaths don't always rise to the top. I have ended crime, gangs, sex trafficking, abortion, and environmental destruction worldwide. I have made Earth greater than it has ever been," Kara bragged.
"At America's expense. You've carved us up and put us all in your zoo. Not even the highest-ranking generals make as much as I do," Trump pointed out.
"And are you qualified to handle one billion, two billion, three billion, how many billions you have? Not you nor your financial advisers can move money around as efficiently as I can in the economy. If I had your wealth to start with, I'd be Musk in a week, half the world's wealth in a month," Kara said.
"Unlike you, I earned those billions," Trump said defensively.
"How much should I earn for creating ninety percent of the wealth of this planet?" Kara asked rhetorically.
"This is communism, I won't stand for it," Trump said boldly.
"Communism is when the workers own the economy. I own the economy," Kara shot back.
"Then, you're just like Stalin or Hitler," Trump accused.
"I am a monarch just like you, Don. That's what people don't get about you. They call you an oligarch or a fascist but you're a wannabe king. You have no ideology, no nationalism, and you're just as likely to fuck over your friends as you do your enemies or change political positions on a whim. You're King Donald the First...just like me," Kara said. "So, monarch to monarch, let's cut the bullshit."
"You going to put me in jail? Many have tried, many have failed," Trump mocked.
"If I threw you in jail for a coup against me, it would be a coup against America in the 21st century, wouldn't it? By sending you back, I'm protecting the President of the United States, the US Constitution, democracy. And even if the heart of that democracy threatens to destroy it, I won't regret it. First, it's not my place and, second, I don't give a shit what happens in the 21st century anymore," Kara decided.
"Well, there it is," Trump sighed.
"I hope you take what you have learned here back with you to the 21st century. You can decide to nuke the world and create a time paradox that will fuck over everything I have built here, or you can make yourself the greatest president in American history," Kara told him. Kara then nodded to a squad of Brainiac 5 drones to escort Trump to the time machine to send him back.
That evening, Kara grieved that her time with Trump had turned sour at the end. Mon entered her office. "How were your trips?" he asked knowingly.
"Educational," Kara said vaguely.
"You were gone so long...with Trump," Mon said amused. "Have fun?"
"Yes," Kara said curtly.
"Right...," Mon doubted. "But you sent him back?" Mon assumed.
"I did," Kara confirmed.
"A loss for you," Mon said sympathetically.
"A loss for all of us," Kara clarified.
"Sure," Mon said sarcastically.
"If you're trying to accuse me of having an affair with him, do it now, so I can laugh at you. Otherwise, I'm incredibly busy," Kara said dismissively. Mon frowned and went to go the other way but then he stopped and gave Kara a kiss.
"It must be hard getting old," Mon mocked.
"Fuck you, Mon," Kara said becoming immediately self-conscious.
"Don't tease," Mon scolded.
"I'll deal with you in a minute," Kara told him.
"Oh, really?" Mon scoffed.
"Unless you'd rather I not," Kara challenged.
"I'll see you in a minute," Mon agreed and walked out of the room.
2024
At the White House, Trump, Lex Luthor, and Kara Danvers Luthor met with President Biden officials on the transfer of power. "You know, I had the weirdest dream I was in the future, and you were there, so amazing," Trump said excitedly to Kara.
"Time travel, huh? We should talk more about that," Lex encouraged.
"That and so many other things you'll need to invent like flying cars, fusion energy, and warp drives," Trump added.
"Right on it, Mr. President," Lex promised.
"You know, if they really do prevent me from running for a third term, I think you'll end up here next, I really do," Trump said to Lex.
"If the family is okay with it," Lex said giving Kara a glance. She gave nothing away.
Author's Notes: I decided early on to use our actual world leaders because they're a lot more interesting than whatever political cliche nonsense CW SG came up with. No doubt, President Phil Baker of Season 4 was a jab at Trump as a CW writer liberal fantasy. But unlike Baker who only lasted a season, Trump is going to have 8 whole seasons of fun, probably, maybe. This episode was inspired by the German film, Look Who's Back, which has Hitler magically appearing in 2015 and dealing with a modern world. I'm not necessarily saying Trump is like Hitler in any way, possibly, maybe. Also inspired by Elvis and The Crown 3x5. It just all fit together here.