"We're on foot the rest of the way lad." Dwalin called as he helped her down from her pony. They had made their way in to Mirkwood quicker than she expected, but there was still no sign of any elvish guard.
"Aye, Sir."
"Hal, son of Gal, perhaps you might take the ponies back to Erebor? I think we may be okay the rest of the way..." She suggested gently, straightening up the belt and her coat. As far as she was concerned the daggers and sword she had on at Thorin's insistence were silly and cumbersome - she was unlikely to use them anyway, and would probably be useless against the spiders too.
"My Lady, I took an oath to protect you. And I swore this to our King. I would rather be captured by orcs than forsake my duty now." He spoke the words proudly, buoyed by how she had remembered his name. But he looked around, unsure of his surroundings.
"Let's hurry then. Whatever, ye gotta keep moving along this path. But never step off it - yer hear me lad?" Dwalin grunted again walking ahead and stopping to take a good look. "Turn the ponies loose. They'll find their way back."
"Aye Sir."
And with that they were off trudging along the path that felt all too familiar and yet very different. They had visited Thranduil before on several occasions, but the elves had awaited their arrival early on along the path and escorted them in fast. Today was different - it made her wonder whether she would encounter the giant spiders again.
They had picked their way through the dark, over gnarled roots, fallen trees and rocks that lay along the path over some distance. The air hung damp and heavy, and the trees surrounding them were leafless, ghostly figures that looked as though they writhed in some sort of perpetual pain.
"Bloody tree shaggers - they are never around when ye actually need em!" Dwalin muttered ahead pausing to assess the path ahead and look around. "Donnae even get me started on the bleedin critters in here..."
"We can't stop. Are you okay Hal?" She looked back to spot the young guard following her, although his eyes roved the leafless canopy of branches above.
"Aye my lady." He hurried to catch up closer to her, still taking in the forest around him suspiciously. "I have never set foot in these woods."
"Oh? Did you grow up in the Blue Mountains? Or the Iron Hills?"
"I was born in Erebor, my Lady. And one of the lucky few bairns to survive. Me parents travelled to Bree, where they settled for a bit, and by then Prince Thorin had moved to the Ered Luin, where they travelled to join the dwarves in Thorins Halls. They still live there with me younger sister and her husband. So I am used to travelling west. But I have never seen these parts."
"It's funny, because I remember the first time we came through here with the whole company, and I have visited Tauriel and Kili here since, but it never gets any less creepy..."
The path narrowed further as two gnarled trees leant over.
"I don't remember this. Are we sure this is the right way?" Shobha asked as Dwalin took her hand to try and help steady her as they encountered more low hanging branches and roots to tackle.
"This place does that to ya. It makes the path look different each time... But so long as we stay on the path we should be fine -"
Suddenly out of nowhere they found themselves surrounded by a group of elven guard, all aiming their sharp arrows at near point blank range.
"Halt! State your business here in Greenwood!"
"Och well... We've come ter perform a song an dance in honour of yer tree shagging ways! What do ye think we're here fer yer brain-less bahuka?!" Dwalin spat at them through gritted teeth as he stood in front of her.
But the lead guard from the group merely tilted his head appearing confused.
"Mahals hairy bollocks! What's the matter with ye? Is yer brain all withered from a lack-o meat?" Dwalin growled again. "I am Lord Dwalin son of Fundin, here to escort me sister, and Queen Consort to Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, King under the Mountain to see yer King!"
"That's a lot of titles isn't it?" Shobha whispered from behind him, frankly quite shocked to have heard Dwalin use anything other than his nickname 'princess' for her, let alone address himself as a 'Lord'!
"Aye, but this lot are all hoity-toity 'children of Iluvitar' aren't they? So they are likely to respond better if they know yer a very important Princess." He muttered back.
"Have you arranged an appointment to meet with his Majesty?"
"Appointment?! Appointment?!" Dwalin sounded incredulous, as though he were one of those dismissive aunts. "Donnae make me laugh out me backside! To put it in a way ye understand: It would be most unfortunate if I laughed me arse off and a little shite came out! Och no; Her Majesty, Queen Shobha donnae need such silly appointments to meet with King Thranduil! She is not some poncy elf coming ter see her tailor; she is also his family!"
The gurads looked from Dwalin to her and back, utterly confused! And she glanced back at Hal, who was also sporting a blank expression now.
"For heaven's sake! I request an audience with King Thrandiul! It is am emergency!" She called out from behind her 'Dwalin shield', who she feared had only contributed to delay her meeting rather than aid it.
Unexpectedly someone called out from behind in sindarin. It was too fast for her to identify the few words and phrases she had begun to learn from Tauriel, but the guards surrounding them instantly lowered their rather sharp weapons and the group divided into two clearing a path, down which she spotted approaching fast, and dressed in green, none other than Legolas!
"Mellon nen!" He smiled as he barged past a livid Dwalin, and stooping a little pulled Shobha into a warm, bear-hug. "You are always welcome here, my kin."
Having iterated the theory of her ancestry being related to that of Thranduils late queen, Legolas had instantly taken it upon himself to consider her none other than his kin. Even if it was indeed a distant relationship. He had even visited the young princes on several occasions, as well as visited Seraeya some months ago for her first birthday.
And while Thranduil had been more reserved in openly demonstrating his affections, he had performed a healing incantation on her when she had almost died utilising his own life force to save her, such that their lives were now inextricably linked.
"It is a most pleasant surprise-"
"I am so sorry Legolas, but I am here on a terribly urgent matter - I must see your father urgently!" She clutched at his arms, trying to bite back her tears as that last memory of Imli's pale, blood-stained face flashed in her thoughts again. "Please. It is a matter of life or death!"
Legolas pulled away from their hug to inspect her face momentarily having been moved by her words, and nodded right away, his usually expressionless face turning quite serious.
"Let us not waste another moment, my lady."
...
"What you ask for is healing that requires the life force of another. It is a sacrifice - not dissimilar to what I performed for you..." Thranduil stood statuesque in front of her. His tall frame draped in one of his silvery cloaks, although today he only wore his circlet of berries made of gold and rubies. It sat softer on his long platinum hair compared to his usual coronet of spikes. But he still looked like some sort of statuesque, pagan god.
After a few more moments of silent contemplation, while she held her breath and tongue, unable to hear her own thoughts over her desperately beating heart, he turned to face her stooping to look at her closer.
"I will not forfiet my life force for another, who is neither my kin nor my kind." His decision was final, said in a way that was clear, cold and clinical.
"Even if he is one who loves me?" She pleaded again. "One who found himself in this dreadful state because of me?"
"Yes." He reached out his hand with long, elegant fingers and picked up her chin, tilting her face up to face his. "My dear, I once warned you, that these creatures with whom you lay, are both selfish and most unworthy. You will only find heartache and betrayal with them... But it is still not too late for you if you wish it, for I would willingly grant you and your children refuge in my realm..."
"What and shackle me again?" She pulled her face away from his cold grasp, quickly turning her back to him, so that she could wipe away a few stubborn tears that escaped on behalf of the poor young dwarf that lay dying back in Erebor. The young Lord from the Iron Hills, whom she had shared a tender kiss with in secret! "Will no one else help?"
He was quick to move back around so he looked down at her face again.
"I will certainly not sanction or even request one of my own to do any such thing..." And then he paused. "But you are a most skilled healer, I hear... It would be within your power to heal him, and if you are unable, there is little more our conventional medicine might add -"
"How could I possibly match your elven healers -"
"You may be a child of man, but the blood of the Eldar flows within your veins." He spoke with complete certainty that she appeared to halt in her thoughts for a moment to consider what he said with greater care.
"So why do you not teach me a healing incantation? I have seen your healers use them..."
"The power is not in the words. But what lies here..." He placed a hand elegantly on his chest. "You have to be willing to give up part of yourlife span, your life's blood and your life force for the one you heal... Just as I did..."
She fell silent as he reminded her of what he had done so many years ago. It had led to a strange relationship between the two of them, where initially she had hated him entirely, his act of saving her had led to a strange respect between them.
"However much you may deny it, as a consequence of that, our life forces are now inextricably linked."
She looked up to meet his oddly pale eyes.
"Do you think I am even capable of healing in that way then?" She asked again holding his gaze.
"Your heart will decide if your patient is truly worthy."
"Please could I not take one of your healers?" She tried once more.
"There are many things I would grant you - but these folk, to who, you give your love to will have nothing to return back," he shook his head slowly. "Heed my warning. Even the one you love - whom you believe returns your loves; he will lay down his life for you, so long as he believes you to be his possession. Does he even heed your words? Melian, for all her wisdom, beauty and kindness wed one who paid little heed to her also..."
She stood watching him astounded, unable to retort, because the truth was that she felt very much unloved by the dwarves right now, with all the attempts being made to harm her. And try as she might, it was never easy talking to Thorin anymore. He was often either distracted or quite dismissive.
"In fact, when he finally realises you are much more than a beautiful possession to stand handsomely by his side or bear him beautiful children, you will find yourself out of favour. This is how the dwarves treat us all," Thranduil concluded. "But you will always be welcome here. Even with your half-dwarven children."
Her heart beat faster at his words. What had he meant? Was it possible that he knew she harboured some sort of hidden unresolved feelings for Ulmo? He had told her that he was able to hear her thoughts at times after all. It was not something she had thought about with Fili and Imli arriving in such a state, but now the possibility popped into her head.
She turned from him without another word, half scared and half angry at what a waste of time this had been - then began to walk out, when Dwalin joined her from where he stood guard by the grand doors.
"Well Princess? What did he say?" He looked over his shoulder to find Thranduil had left his throne room already. "Will he send someone..."
"No." She bit back her tears as she rushed out. "He won't help. We need to go back."
She carried on, along the various corridors back to where she thought they had entered his halls.
"My lady, I do not think you wish to carry on this way -"
She spun round, Dwalin standing in front of her again like some sort of overbearing bodyguard, to find Legolas behind them.
"If you are unsatisfied with the response my father gave you, I imagine you do not wish to enter his bedchamber..." He hid a smirk, attempting to look more sympathetic, but he couldn't honestly feel much pity towards the dwarves. He still met Tauriel on occasion with her dwarf husband, and each time it would make him feel something he had never experienced before; jealousy. "I gather you wish to return to the lonely Mountain?"
She nodded wiping her eyes quickly hoping he would not see, but she certainly couldnt speak. It would be something that would reveal her feeling entirely.
"Very well, my lady." Legolas replied softly with a bow of his head, feeling moved by her sorrow, although she hid it. He had overheard his father's warnings to this woman, whom he considered his kin, and wondered whether Tauriel too would one day come to regret her union with the dwarf prince. "Please follow me."
Dwalin watched her as they followed Legolas silently. Although she did her best to hide it, he could see the angst and pain that weighed on her, but he couldn't hold her and reassure her, for he was not sure the young dwarf she had come all this way to seek help for would indeed survive.
They finally arrived at the edge of the elven kingdom where Hal stood beside several elven guard who held onto the reins of three large horses. The beasts nickered as they stood there in expectation of the ride ahead.
"My Queen," Hal bowed as they approached, glancing back at the three large beasts that towered above him. "I hope your endeavours were successful..."
"Thank you for accompanying me, Hal." She replied, unhappy to reveal much more. "We have a long journey back -"
"Oh! My lady - I will walk back to Erebor -" Hal interrupted nervously, looking up at the horses that appeared ready to ride. "I cannot say I have ever ridden a horse, although I am very happy on a pony."
"Well, master dwarf, you shall be returning to Erebor on horseback." Legolas grinned at the young guard, who appeared to be visibly growing paler by the moment. "There are foul beasts that still lurk here - they creep from Dol Gul Dur, and you alone in these woods would make a perfect meal. No, if we are to return you all safely, then horseback it is."
"Och laddie! These creatures won't support the likes-er me! They look like they've bin on the same rabbit food diet as the rest of ye!" Dwalin complained, as Legolas patted the ivory horse nearest to him. "Nah! I'm with the lad - we oughtta get hiking."
"Mount up!" Legolas called out and two of the guards elegantly clambered up into the saddles on the chestnut and ebony horses that stood beside him. They had immediately hoisted up Dwalin and Hal into their saddles just moments later before either dwarrow could protest. "Your Queen assures me time is of the essence - and these are wild horses, kin of our maress. They will fly like the wind."
He had been gentler with Shobha helping her into the saddle before clambering on himself behind her.
Looking at Dwalin and Hal, she had never realised how much taller she had been compared to most other dwarrow. At just over five feet two, she always felt short at home, but she always wore heels. Where as here even the boots had nearly no significant heels, and Thorin and Dwalin were both tall for dwarves, at around five feet four. Even Lola, Dis and Mara were tall for dwarrowdams! So for some reason until she was around other men or elves or horses, she didn't realise how much taller than most other dwarves and dams she was!
Before anyone could protest further, they had all set off. The unusually large horses seem to intuitively know how to avoid the overhanging branches, while still galloping at significant speed.
Legolas leant forward shielding her from behind as he continued to guide the beast, his long blond hair whipping into her face, with her own long hair, now loose from her plait mingling with this.
The woodland around them, ghostly and gloomy appeared to melt into a blur as they picked up speed.
She grasped the saddle tightly and closed her eyes, as the lonely Mountain soon loomed into view. The sick feeling that churned in her stomach was more than just due to the breathless journey; She feared for the fate of Imli, for the situation she found herself in, and for how her husband might react, if Thranduil was right.
Then just as abruptly as they had set off, Legolas had brought the horse to a halt outside the great stone bridge.
The elven Prince dropped to the ground and gently lowered her down from the horse.
"I promised that I would return you to Erebor safely," Legolas bowed his head. "I would preform the healing myself if I were capable - but alas, I have never been a good healer..."
"Thank you." She replied quietly, realising that a crowd of dwarrow were now gathering by the Great Gates to Erebor, while Dwalin and Hal both disembarked from their horses, aided in a less gentle manner by the other two elven guards, who promptly bowed in perfect unison to her.
"You are most welcome my lady." Legolas nodded. "I do believe father is right though; your hands are likely capable of greater magic than your give them credit for..."
She turned to spot the group gathering, along with some dwarves, more sympathetic than others attempting to disperse the crowd with the help ofsome of the guard. The gathering dwarves scared her, pointing at her, sneering, scowling. Looking down at herself, she also realised how dishevelled she must appear - unlike many of the highly dressed noble dams!
"Legolas..." She turned to him again, annoyed by the gawping crowds and unable to stop herself, she tiptoed up and wrapped her arms around him in a gentle hug. "Thank you."
There was an audible gasp from the gathered crowds as she stepped away from him and turned towards the entrance again, leaving the elves to mount back onto their horses and disappear.
"Princess, ah donnae think that was the best choice of actions in front of the nobility -" Dwalin began, as he followed her, growling at the dwarves that had gathered. The younger of the Fundin brothers, and general of the Erebor Guard and Army, was suitably menacing that even other gruff looking dwarves were sent running by one of his stares.
"Fuck them Dwalin!" She snapped. "We need to check on Imli. I hope it's already not too late."
...
It was nearing midnight as she hurried towards the infirmary with Dwalin in tow. She had washed and changed into fresh clothes fast, checking on The children who were all tucked up in bed with Lola comfortably fast asleep on the generous couch that stood in their room.
"You don't have to accompany me you know, Dwalin." She glanced at him as he hurried along apparently having done the same. Although he had also found time to grab some food. He munched on a pastry as he kept up pace with her.
"Princess - Thorin should be here. But if he cannae be here, then I will in his stead." He muttered. The truth was that he worried about her; about how much burden she bore alone - and how much of her true feelings she hid. Too much of Thorins life was centred about what he believed was his duty, although his grandfather ran the Kingdom without the same weight around his neck. He couldn't let her suffer the loss of Imli alone. "Besides I can help ye."
"Thanks Dwalin..." She reached over and gave his arm a gentle squeeze. "I have never had a big brother before I came to Arda - but I think a girl couldn't ask for better that you or Balin."
They hurried into the infirmary to find Oin, who stood by the pale young dwarf, changing his bandages.
"Lass? I thought I told ye to rest tonight?"
"Rest?! We've only been to Greenwood and back eh." Dwalin grumbled again. "Bleedin tree shaggers."
"That foul place?! To find elvish medicine? For the lad here?" Oin was clearly somewhat offended that she had felt the elves might have possessed greater skill than he did but at the same time he was surprised at the lengths to which she wanted to go for the sake of a dwarf she barely knew. "And did they give ye anything useful.."
"How is he doing?" She slowly shook her head in response to his question unable to vocalise the answer and all the disappointment it entailed.
"I cannae be sure lassie." Oin sighed ruefully. "He has lost a lot of blood - and his breathing is now ragged and unsteady... At least the large wounds ye cleaned and stitched up are not infected."
Oin took off his own apron slowly, unwilling to look her in the eye as he spoke, in case he revealed his true thoughts; He had seen it far too often in the many cut down by war, but that sort of ragged breathing Imli made was almost certainly the sign of impending death. While Oin had imagined the dwarven lord would succumb to his injuries at some point, he had hoped it would have occurred peacefully overnight under his watch rather than causing her any further distress.
Now, with her unexpected arrival, he feared that Imli might die in her arms. It was not something he wished her to witness, having noticed how her own inner turmoil had grown in recent times and while Thorin was oblivious to her plight, he certainly had not been.
"And I take it ye accompanied our lass?" Oin eyed Dwalin carefully. He had always treated Thorins cousin and battle-mate like nothing more than a dumb brute. But tonight he had no choice but to respect Dwalin for being here, clearly to be there for her, in the event that the worst might transpire. "And will ye be here -"
"Ach quit yer whining and go shove su'thin in yer pie hole, ya deaf old post!" Dwalin growled at the healer. "She's me sister, and I plan on being here. Imli cannae object - and if he does then he'll have ter deal with it!"
Oin muttered something equally offensive back, although he was silently glad for the silly oaf's presence.
Sighing, she pulled on an apron, turned to the clean bowl of water to wash her hands thoroughly as an idea slowly formed in her head.
"What are ye going ter do now?" Dwalin stood close to her but she merely glanced up at him and shook her head with uncertainty.
Reaching out to him, she felt for a pulse on his cold arms, before reaching up to his neck.
Imli could only manage a partial groan that was entirely unintelligible.
"He's icy cold and his pulse is weak too." She turned to Dwalin. "Please could you get me a few extra blankets and some warm broth and water. We need to keep him warm and get him hydrated."
He didn't need telling twice, turning and walking out of the screened area he wanted to be useful to her, for he was certain she would be mourning Imli's death by morning.
"Lord Imli?" She gently whispered in his ear from where she stood. "Can you hear me? Imli?"
He remained asleep, his deathly pale face, still handsome but unresponsive.
So she squeezed his arm.
"Imli, I need you to wake up." She spoke a little more sternly. By now, back home he probably would have had fluids through a drip and a blood transfusion. It was hard to imagine this was the same dwarf full of life and courage whom she danced with some weeks ago during the ball. She looked back at Oin who looked clearly worried. "How long has he been like this?"
"Maybe a few hours or so?" Oin confessed. "We have done all we can lassie..."
She closed her eyes, desperate, filled with sorrow and anger at being robbed of yet another dear one. And then she thought of Thranduils words:
'The power is not in the words but what lies in here...'
She moved closer to him, and set one hand on his broad chest, while with her other she stroked his wavy chestnut hair back from his clammy forehead.
He was dying, and she had nothing left to lose.
Closing her eyes, she thought of her lifetime so far, and never had she truly been one for prayer, although she felt a sense of spirituality in places of worship. It was more of a religious custom she had observed with her family. But today she would gladly kneel before any and every god and pray for help for this poor soul, who had attempted to do his best, in supporting her!
Suddenly flashes of memories came to her from her childhood of Hindu gods, beautiful, powerful, healing, in the temples back home. And memories of her mother praying for her grandparents whenever they were ill came rushing back, along with prayers that she had once uttered with her family, but had not left her lips in years since arriving in Arda.
Perhaps it was a sign, now, in her hour of need.
"Om Namah Shivaya... Om Namah Shivaya... Om Namah Shivaya..." She began to chant, eyes falling shut, wishing with all her heart that the gods would hear her plea to save this man. "Om dum Durgaye Namah... "
She repeated her words, willing to give her own life to help heal this poor man's:
"Om Trayambakam Yajamahe Sugandhim Pushti Vardhanam
Urvarukam Iva Bandhanan Mrityor Mukshiya Mamritat"
(Simple Sanskrit Translation: I implore you, the Source of the cycle of birth, life and death, to free me from its bondage, make me fearless, and lead me to the absolute truth and bliss.)
Slowly she could feel something, a strange warmth like a sphere of light that eminated out of her and began to spread. Unwilling to open her eyes, for she was aware Imli was now dying she carried on feeling the shallow rise and fall of his broad chest under hand, the final gasps of a dying man, and feeling the weak thrum of his heart beat through his muscular form.
She repeated her words over and over, not keeping count of how many times she chanted, and feeling the world around her falling away. Until there was nothing around her but the quiet and space and just her hand, that connected her to Imli.
"Om Namah Shivaya"
"Om Dum Durgaye Namah…"
Then suddenly another burst of light was followed by the complete darkness that enveloped her.
And then there was nothing.
...
The first thing she felt was warmth; Warmth that touched her skin. She could feel it all over her body, and soon it began to heat her.
And with it she could perceive the light, even though her eyes were closed, like the sun.
Slowly she blinked her eyes open to find strange sea-green eyes staring at her.
"Wake up... Little one..."
It was Ulmo. His deep voice, rumbling along her skin as she slowly opened her eyes more.
"Why do you insist on troubling me all the time...?" He sounded annoyed, but also a little amused. "You realise that I have many other things to do in this world other than keep an eye on you right?"
She blushed profusely, remembering the last time she had seen him in her dreams, before looking down at her own body from where she lay next to him just to make sure she was not naked. Fortunately she was clothed in that same white nightgown she wore everytime she found her way on to Ulmos sea shore. But under the blue skies and the brilliant sun that always shone there, the nightgown usually turned sheer, leaving little to the imagination.
Ulmo lay beside her, watching with curiosity, propped up on one arm. He looked strangely relaxed despite his tone, as if they had been in bed together. It reminded her again of that sex-dream she had of him! She wondered how much he knew of that and whether he could read her mind now, because it was turning her on a little!
Blushing again, she attempted to sit up, only to have him place a large hand across her waist and ease her down again.
"I think you might need to rest back, my dear," Ulmo had a gentle smile on his face this time. It softened his godlike-handsome features, creasing his eyes. "You have had a strange turn, when you foolishly willed your life force to heal that dwarf."
"Is he okay?" She tried to push herself up again, but once more his eased her down, this time stroking her hair back gently from her face. "Or at least will he be okay?"
"He suffers no pain now. More importantly you need to rest so that YOU will be alright." He was a little firmer with her this time. "Or would you be more comfortable laying on a bed..?"
She stiffened up hearing his words, and while she had half a mind to confront him, she couldn't quite bring herself to do it, since it felt like an admission of guilt.
"Oh God! What is happening?" She sighed covering her face as she lay there on the soft sand beside Ulmo.
"Nothing that you should feel bad about or guilty for in any way." He spoke gently. And although he lay there so close, he was careful not to touch her, even though he wanted to. Something about this woman sparked a curiosity within him. She was so weak, vulnerable, and yet she had the strength on many occasions to help those in need. And he was glad for it, since it gave him a reason to keep close watch over her, although he simply desired to anyway. "What is it that you fear?"
She suddenly removed her hand from her eyes and blinked up at him surprised that he inquired.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, something about all this, upsets and troubles you. This is clear to me. And I have observed many children of men - enough to know this is the case," although he was possibly more sympathetic to mankind in Arda, compared with his fellow Valar, no other man or woman had ever piqued his curiosity in such a way. But of course he wouldn't tell her that. "So, what is it that troubles you... Something that makes you feel... Embarrassed?"
"Um... No... Well..." She felt her cheeks heat up again as she lay there under his watchful gaze. Suddenly it was the hardest thing in the world to forget about that dream with his hands all over her. Her heart beat faster again so she shut her eyes.
Did she really want a threesome with Ulmo and Thorin? And did she even have actual feelings for him? She chastised herself for it - it was cheating! When she loved Thorin!
He watched her carefully with those unusual sea-green eyes, occasionally enjoying the image of her as she lay there like a goddess; Her brown skin glowed under the sun, draped in her sheer white nightgown, and her hair laid out in dark ribbons across the sand and all about her. But he was careful only to let his eyes rove about her when she did not see.
"What will happen to Arun? To our son?" She suddenly asked, pushing down her sudden desire to reach out and touch him. "He has the ability to control water now and it grows stronger every day. Do you teach him to control it? I mean will you take him from me?"
Her heart leapt into her throat at that thought, and it made her sick to the stomach thinking he might take one of her beautiful children away. Not to even think of how Thrain would feel without his best friend!
He reached out and cupped her chin, lifting her face up to look at his.
"Fear not, little one. I will not do any such thing." He felt saddened by the thought that he would perhaps miss out on the only chance at a child he may ever have, but he did not have the heart to rip the boy from her bosom, when she loved him so. "One day, many years from now, he will make the journey across the west to the undying lands, where I may be reunited with him."
"But then his brother?" She pushed her self up. "They cannot be separated. Please?"
"You poor girl, do not trouble yourself with fears of the future. Just heed my words that all will be well - I give you my word that I will see to it." He smiled softly at her.
"And will he ever know you are his father before then?" She suddenly felt a pang of guilt. It didn't seem right that Arun wouldn't get to know, when Ulmo was so kind, compared to many of the other Valar, who were so aloof and arrogant.
"When the time is right - yes he will find out."
"But won't you feel like you have missed his childhood if you wait? I mean wouldn't you both do well to meet like this in his dreams?" She suggested.
"Is that what you wish?"
"Well.. I think maybe you both would do well for it?" She nodded feeling better about it. "You could help guide his powers, get to know him. He is a kind, sweet, boy, even if he is rather mischievous..."
He smiled at how she described the boy with such pride and love. This was his son. Their son.
"Very well; I can see he is a most wonderful child.. for his heart is pure - like that of his mother." He smiled. "He will be a most gifted one..."
"You mean, quite like his father?" She laughed, realising that she had to tell Thorin, for Ulmos sake!
"Now it is time for you to sleep." He changed the subject abruptly. "You once found it soothing to have me stroke your hair, when you were heavy with child, and suffering the pain of birth. Would you like me to help you again like so?"
"No... But.. " hesitating at first, she gingerly reached out and had him extend the arm on which he leant his head as he propped himself up on his side. Then she shifted herself carefully into the crook of his arm and against his giant shark-suited form. "Please could you hold me until I fall asleep then...? I understand if you won't - I mean... Thorin usually does -"
He hushed her, not needing to be asked again, before wrapping his arm around her as she closed her eyes.
His body was warm although it looked cold and wet. And the scaly suit like skin he wore was also soft - nothing like a fish at all! It was strangely pleasant, and it took almost no time at all before she began to find her eyelids too heavy to keep open.
"You need not fear or feel ashamed of what feelings dwell deep in your heart.. or even of the dreams you see." He whispered as she struggled to keep her eyes open. "To act upon such feeling or take matters further would be in your hands..."
...
Dear All,
Thank you for following so far. sorry the updates have been so far apart. i will aim to do this a little more regularly from now - maybe once fortnightly. But perhaps shorter chapters.
Please do continue to let me know your thoughts/reviews etc.
Xaiael - thank you for your review, yes Thorin is being incredibly frustrating atm and i think it is stopping her from telling him about Ulmo. its a big secret to keep and wont do well if it comes out before she tells him!