She had spent the next week resting, surrounded by their children. And Thorin too had spent more time with them, paying much more attention to her than she was frankly used to or happy with for that matter.
There had been one small complication that had niggled at her; She had not dreamt of Ulmo for a while, and she had found herself secretly disappointed by this!
She sat in a quiet courtyard watching as Lola, Seraeya, Arun and Thrain played together. The boys carefully chased their little sister about as she giggled. It was sweet to watch the normally very naughty boys being so gentle and controlled for their younger sibling. And neither party seemed to grow weary of the game despite how long it had gone on for.
She too enjoyed watching them, and wrapping her warm shawl around herself tighter, trying to ignore her own thoughts about her husband.
Thorin had regularly still found time to take Aida for a walk in spite of everything that had gone on.
He had never spoken of it to her, but she had seen them with her own eyes once taking the road to Dale.
The older woman played the weak old matriarch with delight to keep Thorin by her side. But she was also always accompanied by Lana. And she had watched as her husband had walked alongside the two dams, apparently gladly paying attention to what they both had to say. It was a stark comparison to how he would nag or hurry them whenever they had been out to Dale on the rare occasion as a whole family!
Perhaps she did feel a little jealous - although it wasn't an overwhelming feeling. But she couldn't shake the uncomfortable thought that her husband had made time to spend with them routinely out of his busy day, when they didn't always get that amount of attention. In fact as his ever, suffering family, they had accepted that they would get his attention only when he could 'fit them in' to his dutiful and busy schedule as King under the Mountain.
She loved him. And certainly they had been sharing the bed ever since she had been injured. It was perhaps not out of choice at first, but she had grown to like his company again.
Some nights they would talk till late. Some nights he would just hold her, while he remained brooding all the while. And some nights she would pretend to be asleep when he arrived late for the turmoil she felt about him.
She had never really considered herself much of a grudge holder. Her resentment and anger towards Mike had never felt this bad - and Thorin hadn't even cheated on her (or so she hoped)! So she didn't understand why she felt such anger towards him on occasion.
"Come Mama! Chase me!" Seraeya giggled leading the boys who pretended to run on the spot so that they didn't catch up to her prematurely.
It was a scene that made it hard not to laugh. And certainly made it hard for her to resist joining in!
"Oooh! You'd all better get running!" She laughed, clutching onto her side where her wounds were still sore even though they were healing well. "Because if I catch you...well... I'm gonna have to...EAT YOU!"
The three all squealed with delight as she pulled herself up and began to chase them around the courtyard.
...
"Do you regret your husband leaving for battle, my lady?" Thorin asked quietly as they sat on a log, while Aida dozed off in her wheelchair.
The old dam had taken to her wheelchair for the last two days requiring him to push her on their usual 'walks'. For his sins she had requested a journey to the old fields and back. They were beautiful. But the uneven dirt road was far more of a challenge for anyone pushing a cart or in his case, his great-Aunts wheelchair! He had broken into a sweat by the time they were halfway back. So Aida would insist on stopping and resting.
"We are duti-bound, my Lord." Lana sighed, placing her hand on the tops of her ample breasts that overflowed from the open neckline of her dress. "We may have perhaps regretted it, had he not offered his sword."
"But it must have been hard to raise a child all on your own?" Thorin looked out at the expanse of fields, where wild flowers had begun to grow, recalling just how much she had tried to sew wildflower seeds each spring on these lands where so many dwarves, men, elves and orcs had fallen. Even then she had refused to give up - it had made him love her even more for it.
"Perhaps, but my Eli is stronger for it. As am I. And us female folk are much stronger than you realise or give credit for, my Lord..." She smiled gently at him.
"I have no doubt of that," Thorin nodded back.
"Eli is grateful for your mentorship and training, my Lord." She gushed. "He truly looks up to you, and he looks forward to his training always now..."
"You are good mother to have carried on in training him as best as you could." Thorin complemented her back. "And you have done an excellent job too. Eli is very skilled indeed - even before he began to train with us..."
"Thank you, my Lord...but there is so much he has gained from you...your children are blessed to have that..." She blushed.
"Well, my wife did not allow them to train until they were old enough - or until she felt it was safe..." He corrected her, smiling to himself as he thought of their sons. "Even now they are perhaps too playful..."
"But it is well known that your sons walked and talked far earlier than dwarven children would," she spoke surprised. "Surely to not train them early would mean a loss of that advantage...?"
"Perhaps they walked and talked early, but I suppose they took after their mother when it comes to love of training and Warcraft..." He shrugged his shoulders, recalling how his own father had taught him to hold a training sword as soon as he could walk. "And she is the mother of my children. I must respect her wishes also..."
"But you are her King - and her One, are you not?" Lana frowned. "Would she not put you above all? Or trust that you would keep your sons safe while you taught them? Or do Menfolk even have a 'One'...?"
He fell silent at her question. He often worried about the closeness of their relationship of late. Could it be true that Men did not feel the same depth of love as dwarves or elves for the brevity of their lives? Was it as futile as expecting a mouse or a butterfly to love forever?
For the first time, he looked up at Lana, as she watched him with her blue eyes, her cheeks flushed in stark contrast to her alabaster skin.
"Forgive me for speaking so frankly, my King. I was out of place," she watched him with wide eyes, a little worried. "I merely meant that I would put your highness first, had you been my husband...I certainly would not take you for granted..."
...
She walked back towards their apartments down a quiet corridor. It had been her first day back to work at the infirmary and she was certainly tired. It had only been a couple of weeks since she had been injured.
Thrain and Arun ran ahead of her pretending to invade some sort of enchanted wood, ducking and jumping out from behind large stone columns.
Since Oin had only allowed her to do a partial days work she had been able to collect the young princes from the dwarven school at the end of their day. It had been really nice to do that for the first time. And so they had all decided to take the quieter routes back to their royal apartment. It would allow the boys a chance to stretch their legs and play after a day back at school in while for them also.
Their walk was briefly interrupted by a shout from somewhere behind them.
"Shobha! Shobha!"
She turned to spot a very red looking Dis rushing towards them, looking very out of breath.
"Oh thank Mahal!" She huffed as she rushed over and stopped, trying to catch her breath.
"Dis?! What's wrong?" She asked worried to have never seen Thorins sister so flustered.
"I thought I was to collect the boys - but when I got there Master Rowan said you had collected them..." Dis placed her hand on her chest in releif. "But I could not believe it -"
"Oh I am so sorry Dis! Didn't Thorin tell you...?" She frowned, trying to remember what exactly she had said to Thorin. "I am so sorry, Dis. We have been so preoccupied lately..."
"You have been through much, my dear," Dis finally concluded looking sympathetic. "It's expected. And really Thorin should be making more time for you..."
She stopped herself from going as far as protesting about Thorin making time for Aida. While Dis had grown a fair amount of dislike for the dam, it felt petty to grumble about Thorin spending time with the closest living relative to their mother. Even if she wasn't very maternal or frankly anything like their mother for that matter. It felt particularly petty, since Shobha herself had not shown a particular disagreability over the matter.
"I really know it's none of my business, but Thorin has grown too comfortable. He has a beautiful family, the best wife he could ever ask for and frankly, I think he should be more grateful -"
"Dis. It's not as straightforward. I... I am not great wife material," Shobha interrupted Dis. "I guess I never really was..."
She paused realising that perhaps Mike's mother hated her for that very reason. And she certainly felt guilty now, for desperately wanting to see Ulmo again!
"I...left my home to help Thorin on his quest not knowing what or where it would lead me. And we were not exactly in a relationship then..." She sighed watching the boys playing entirely oblivious to her epiphany. "I left my parents and a very comfortable life...what sort of woman does that make me? And...and...I put my life at risk two weeks ago...even though we have such young children. I mean...I know just how upset Seraeya was. I haven't spent a night away from her...and...well, what kind of mother does that make me, Dis?"
"It makes you more than just a mother," Dis rubbed her arm. "I know we haven't always seen eye to eye...but you are an amazing woman! And I couldn't have picked a better wife for my brother. I am sorry I did not see that before..."
They walked on in silence for a while each contemplating their lives and decisions, when Shobha stopped them again just before they turned the corridor.
"When I fell into the lake with Smaug, Ulmo saved me - but that meant that somehow...I had to carry his child...his son...and to be honest, I thought it was a dream, or some sort of hallucination at first, but Arun really had a gift..." She confessed quickly before Dis, who had once hated her, could praise her any more. "And...I didn't tell Thorin until recently..."
Dis stood watching her motionless.
"I am sorry - maybe you think I'm crazy...or...I don't know - and maybe you hate me...but you need to know..." She added nervously observing her sister in law.
But it seemed that Dis was, for the first time since Shobha had come to know her, completely and utterly lost for words apparently.
Then suddenly looking ahead at the Princes she hurried after them, realising that they had scurried on ahead.
Picking up the pace as Shobha followed the boys, turning the corner, with Dis following closely, they all came accross Aida outside an apartment as she screamed at her poor servant girl.
The young girl knelt before her, with her hands clasped together quietly begging, when the old dam have her a kick! It sent the poor girl flying onto her back, laying there dazed for a moment as Aida carried on shouting angrily.
Arun and Thrain halted in the middle of the corridor, partially in shock and partially in fear, as Shobha caught up to them disgusted by what she was witnessing.
The servant girl hurried to crawl back onto her hands and knees, again begging silently, her young face filled with terror. She was still only a child herself.
But apparently none of this appeased Aida.
"You are an incompetent wretch!" The old dam screamed.
"Forgive me, my lady. Please have mercy..." The girl fell lay before her now, worshipping her feet, but it was apparently still not enough!
"Get up you piece of filth!" Aida screamed pushing her off with her feet again, so that she was kneeling once more. "This is the only lesson you will understand!"
Aida raised her walking stick high ready to strike. The anger in her face, making her look like a saggy old thing that had turned pink.
But as she brought down her stick it was halted by Shobha, who held out her hands, holding the wood from reaching its target.
"Stop this at once!" Shobha spoke sternly as she held the walking stick in her hands.
"This is none of your business. You do not have servants - this girl is my servant!" Aida screeched. "Now get out of my way!"
Aida yanked her walking stick back and raised it up in the air again ready to strike.
It
"Then you will have to hit me first!"
But Aida had already decided and once again struck out with her walking stick.
This time, however, Shobha was prepared, grasping the walkingstick and pulling it away.
At this point, several guards had come running over, and the nearby apartment door opened to reveal Lana and Eli as they came out.
But to her shock, Aida immediately threw herself on the floor, banging her head on the base of a nearby stone pillar. She lay there cowering with her hands over her face!
"She hit me!" Aida cried out weakly, as Lana ran to her side, helping her sit up. "Help me, lass! The Queen, is going to beat me!"
Lana and the guards looked at Shobha who stood there with Aida's walking stick still in her hands, entirely taken aback by the sudden turn of events.
"I...I... Didn't touch her..." Shobha shook her head in surprise.
"Oh my head!" Aida groaned again.
"If you didn't hit her, then what are you doing with her walking stick?!" Lana frowned with disgust. "I don't care. We need to get Aida to the infirmary! Guards!"
"Thank you lass. Please don't leave me..." Aida groaned again, clutching her forehead where she was bleeding from. "I am scared of her..."
"She was hitting the servant!" Shobha shook her head again.
"But the girl looks fine!" Lana shook her head. "She is a helpless old dam! And the closest thing that the King has to a mother!"
Lana helped the old dam onto her feet as one of the guards then picked her up and began walking towards the infirmary.
"Please...ask for the King..."Aida groaned again weakly as they all carried her away.
"Dis...?" Shobha looked over towards her sister in law who was gathering the boys together.
"I will take the boys back," Dis replied coldly. "I think you should go and see Thorin first..."
"But...I didn't do anything to her!" She protested as Dis began to walk away with Arun and Thrain.
But Dis didn't answer, as she carried on walking the boys back on their way.
"I can vouch for you, my lady," the servant girl looked up.
But Shobha felt dazed and taken aback by everything that had gone on. It seemed like she just couldn't have anything go her way these days.
Perhaps everyone was right in their judgement of her. Middle earth just wasn't the sort of place she expected.
"I had better go and find Thorin..." She sighed, feeling exhausted now.
"Hurry, my lady," the servant girl pleaded. "My Mistress is very powerful indeed...and too many people believe her over all others..."
Shobha nodded and set off down the corridor.
...
She finally arrived at Thorins Study again, having retraced his steps back from the Treasury, Throne room and war rooms.
But he was still not in. Just as she was about to give up, realising he had obviously been elsewhere, she spotted her husband approaching.
She stood there looking at her hands which were not even red anymore from the strikes of Aidas walking stick and as Thorin drew closer, she could tell that the vicious dam had bested her again.
He wore a disapproving scowl on his face and seemed to quicken his pace as he spotted her.
"Thorin..." She attempted to start as he approached but he didn't respond, grabbing her wrist and pulling her into his study instead.
He was quick to shut the door behind him and instantly began to pace the room angrily.
"You have gone too far this time, Shobha." He snapped.
"I have gone too far? She was going to hit me in order to get to her servant!"
"Well, there is an injured old dwarrowdam sitting in the infirmary, who looks otherwise!" He pointed out angrily.
"She fell - but I didn't touch her! I swear Thorin! All I did was to stop her assaulting her servant!" She replied incredulous at his tone.
"She is old and frail, Shobha. I doubt she had the strength for that. And neither Lana nor I have ever seen her standing on her own." He sighed.
"So you believe Lana over me?" She couldn't help the tone of her voice now.
"You do not leave me with much choice." His tone was now cold.
"I have told you so many times, not to interfere with others business -"
"This was public assault! Dis and our boys saw what happened! They would tell you -"
"Do not do that Shobha!" He frowned, shaking his head. "Our sons will always support you. And do not force my sister to choose between family and you -"
"Oh I see because now, Aida is family, and I am not right?" She crossed her arms over her chest. Lately she had been feeling very much like an outsider, but now this felt very final. "Thanks for clearing that up!"
"That is not what I meant Shobha!" Thorin sighed rubbing his forehead again. "I mean to say that Dis should not have to choose. I just think Aida has nothing to gain by lying about this -"
"Aida wants to get rid of me! And get you a real dwarrowdam mistress -"
"She does not wish that." Thorin continued to pace angrily. "She was merely alluding to how you do not always understand our people..."
"All very supportive things to say about someone's wife right?"
"In truth, she is not entirely wrong - you do NOT always understand out customs." Thorin held his tongue without saying any more, watching her darkening features.
"I don't think there is anything more I can say, since nothing I say matters to you..." She turned to leave when he turned to her.
He sighed unhappily as he moved to stand before the fireplace, brooding.
"Please stay in the apartment and do not go anywhere tonight until I have had a chance to limit some of the damage you have created..."
"Of course...since I am the liar and the granny thug, I may as well be held under house arrest right?" She muttered as she left his study.
But instead to going to their apartment, she carried on walking. Her feet seemed to take her where her mind was tired and blank. She walked down a few quiet corridors nearby and made her way to a secluded balcony where she could see far down below.
All she could think of now was how much she longed to see her parents again. Her mind raced and spun with a thousand thoughts.
She was tied here because of her children, but her heart was no longer here.
A gust of wind blew hard, pushing her closer to the edge of the balcony. Glancing down, she could see the rock of the mountain that lay below. If she had been blown away, perhaps no one would even find her body, for it would never make it down to the ground cleanly.
Clutching the rock wall, she took a step back, feeling her pounding heart.
Then as she watched down below, several guards and dwarves were loading up two caravans. At first her blank mind wondered whether there were any parties expected to leave for the blue mountains or the iron mountains soon. But then she remembered about the trade they were expected to make with Rohan!
Suddenly, she had no time to spare. Quickly she made her way back down, taking the shortest route back before, finally reaching their guest apartment and knocking on the door with some urgency.
It didn't take long for the heavy door to open.
"My Lady?" Thorongil stood there, surprised by her arrival. He looked dressed for travel.
"I need your help..."
...