"I don't believe I deserve this ride,
You took me for my very heart and pride,
You let me down, now your hand is out,
Well here's some spare change you can count"

Find Another Fool - Quaterflash

/

Joss took her time getting ready for bed, feeling a little dramatic with her song choice of 'Find Another Fool' by Quarterflash, but she needed something bitter and brimming with annoyance to match her mood.

She pulled the large old t-shirt over her head and flopped onto the bed, trying to gather her thoughts. What the hell did Billy think he had seen? More importantly, why did he think it was okay to put his hands on her like that?

She stared up at the ceiling, seeing the flickering of light waver above her as the breeze nearly blew the candle on her bedside table out completely. How could someone who had caressed and kissed her with such sweet passion only the night before, suddenly turn into someone she felt she didn't know?

This was the same guy who had sat with her on an intimate drive home and told her how he had lost his mother because of his controlling abusive father. And yet as soon as his anger flared, he stepped into those shoes, as if he had no choice but to do exactly what he had seemed to condemn, as if he had no control over repeating a toxic embedded mantra.

Joss knew he was better than that, she'd seen him be better than that, and yet part of her mind tugged at the truth that he had always been this way. She just didn't want to admit it now he was a part of her life. Before they'd met, she'd seen him as a bully and a womanizer, and he was still that same guy, it was just he had another side too, but both co-existed in a way that sat like a pound of lead within Joss' stomach. The echoes of what he had said about how his father had treated his mother, accusing her of cheating at the slightest infraction, of her being 'disrespectful', hadn't Billy held those exact same sentiments towards Joss tonight?

Joss couldn't understand why he wouldn't rebel against everything his father was. It was precisely what she had done, bucking and fighting against becoming like her own parents, acting out in the most childish and teenage ways when she'd gone to live with her dad. She'd fought, tooth and nail, but maybe Billy didn't have that option? Joss couldn't know how life was for Billy because her parents hadn't laid a violent hand on her since she was a pre-schooler and even then, it had been a sharp stinging slap to the back of her legs in reprimand of very bad behaviour. She'd never been afraid of her parents.

She was still lying there, trying to figure out her own jumble of thoughts, when she heard a light, steady tapping against the glass of her window. Slowly she sat up, looking puzzled, until a little stone plopped itself neatly on her floor, coming in from the slightly open window.

She heaved herself on to her feet and kicked it out of her path with annoyance, already knowing what she'd see, and there below her window stood Billy.

"Seriously?" she whispered, loud enough for him to hear, as she crossed her hands protectively across her chest.

He held up his arms in a lazy gesture of defeat.

Joss rolled her eyes, and with deliberate slowness, made her way downstairs, wanting to make him wait every damn second. She reached the door and latched it, opening it only as far as the chain allowed.

"What?" she demanded tersely, leaving all small talk behind.

He was already stood on her front step with an expectant expression. "Can I come in?"

"No."

He laughed in that shitty mocking way she hated. "Well, can we at least talk?" He made another defeated gesture with both hands, indicating he thought she was being highly unreasonable.

"No," she repeated, looking straight past him with no emotion, silently saying tonight was not going to be his night in any way.

"Come on, don't you think you're being a bit over dramatic?"

"What I'm thinking is, it's nearly midnight, I'm fucking tired, and some idiot is throwing rocks at my window!"

"Well I would have called, but I didn't know your number," he said, matter-of-factly, his smile now trying its hardest to charm her, but Joss wasn't falling for it, not this time. "I didn't know if your mom was back home, so..."

She sighed lowly, losing patience. "Just say what you came here to say and go."

"Okay, Jesus!. I just came..." He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his posture squirming with discomfort. "To, you know, tell you, I think I did over react... a little, and-"

"Oh, you think you overreacted, huh?" Joss retaliated, not giving him an inch of understanding.

"I saw you getting all friendly with Byers and I just got mad, okay?" He gritted his teeth across each word as if it had been extracted under intense torture.

"Not okay." Joss tried to close the door, having enough of this run around conversation, but he stopped her, placing a hand firmly on it and preventing her tactic of a surprise end to their conversation. She would have pushed back in anger, but now he wasn't wearing his denim jacket, Joss noticed a red mark upon his arm, and this made her pause just long enough for him to wedge his weight behind the action, making it impossible for her to shut the door completely.

"Look," he reasoned, as he continued trying to worm his way out of the tense situation, "I was being a dick, okay?" He sounded angry that she was forcing this confession out of him, not sorry. "Is that what you want to hear?"

Joss scoffed. "What I want to hear? I don't want to hear anything from you right now."

Joss tried again to shove the door closed but he easily stilled her attempt with another casual push of his hand. "After the day I had, you'd get mad too if you saw..." He stopped, his eyes glancing away, his words faltering.

"And what exactly did you see?" Joss knew she was being stupid, taking the bait, but she couldn't help herself.

"My girl flirting with some freak. He was touching you and you were smiling like you liked it, what was I meant to think? His eyes were all over you. Any guy would have been pissed." His tone sounded so judicious that her body prickled with resentment.

"Jesus! You make it sound like we were at third base right in front of everyone!" Joss spat. "Not that it really matters, or is any of your damn business, but he was not touching me or lusting after me, he was thanking me for being kind to his kid brother. We were not flirting." Joss offered no further information on her and Jonathan's meeting. "And I am not your girl," she added, as an extra jab.

"Seriously?" Billy said with a admonishing laugh.

"Yes, seriously. We are not exclusive, we haven't made any promises. I am not your anything!"

Billy leant into the doorway, his face coming as close as was comfortable in the small opening the chain allowed, and he laughed, deep and low as if her words were ridiculous. "How can you say that after last night? We are something. Come on, Joss!"

"No! You don't get to tell me to come on, or let up, or whatever! You grabbed me, Billy! You had no right, and nothing you can say now will justify it." She was about to say more, to express that ripple of fright she'd felt when she'd seen how angry he was, but bit back the words, not wanting to give him any weakness to work on. "Move your damn shoulder off my door!"

"The hell? I didn't 'grab' you! I just held your wrist, you make it sound like I actually hurt you."

"You did!" Joss shot back.

Billy's hand darted forward and Joss wasn't quick enough to avoid his grasping fingers, although she had to resentfully admit he was at least gentle this time. He pulled her arm out into the low glow of the porch light and studied her wrist with an intense eye. "Okay, where are you hurt then? There are no bruises. I didn't even grab you hard."

"Oh, so now you admit you did in fact 'grab' me?" Joss said, pulling her arm back into the darkness behind the door.

"I'm just using your words."

There he went, twisting everything to his own advantage. "Well use these words, screw you!" Joss said with a sneer.

"Very mature," Billy taunted, and Joss knew he'd somehow gained the upper hand with her bluster of anger, and hated it. "Come on," he wheedled, sensing he had won something unspoken between them, "seriously, it was a mistake. I didn't mean to get pissed, it just happened. You keep telling me I'm not a machine, well there's your damn proof." That felt suddenly like a low blow to Joss, using their previous conversations to turn her own words back on her.

She gave him a withering look. "Can you really tell me you will never act like that again and actually mean it?" Every inch of her radiated with disbelief.

"Yeah," he said, his eyes connecting with and trying to hold hers to him in a similar way as he had in the sauna. "I can."

"I don't trust you," Joss spat, avoiding being caught by him by looking down.

His hand pushed a little more against the door, knowing she was mere seconds away from trying to close it again.

"You know, most girls would find me getting jealous a turn on," he said with a little smirk and sniffed as if covering up the expression and glanced away. "It means I give a shit."

"Lucky me," Joss said, narrowing her eyes. "Get your damn shoulder off my door!" she repeated, and smacked her palm against the door panel in anger.

Billy seemed unfazed by her outburst and smiled as if enjoying her getting so heated. "Jesus, Tanner, calm down. It's not that serious. If you don't like it, I won't do it."

Joss let out another scoff and crossed her arms across her chest, still not meeting his eyes.

"I'm only just working out what you like," he smiled, drawing his teeth across his bottom lip and rolling his tongue over the words with sensual insinuation, "and what you don't. Are we gonna kill this over that? Everyone deserves another chance, right?" His face was serious, his eyes now gleaming with intent, demanding she look at him until she felt she had no choice.

Joss felt her anger relenting a little as their gazes connected, and somehow his words and look tugged at her. Was she really being unfair? Everybody did stupid shit sometimes, did that mean she should write him off completely? They'd had far more good times than bad so far. She felt her thoughts ball into one big confusing mess.

She pushed the hair back from her face, feeling aggravation at everything that had happened over these last few days running through every fibre of her being.

Her eyes flicked to him, lingering over his face, trying to see if he bore any other new injuries. "Are you... okay?" She bit the words out through slightly gritted teeth, not wanting to ask them, but knowing it would eat away at her all night if she didn't.

"Sure," he said, trying to catch and hold her gaze again with his. Joss avoided it, looking past him, not wanting to give him any further advantage.

"At home, I mean?" she pushed.

"Nothing I can't handle."

She could feel his detached bravado façade coming up like a wall between them, and finally looked at him again, her eyes coldly telling him she wasn't going to be placated with macho bullshit tonight.

He scratched a distracted finger across his cheek, knowing that he had been cornered. If he wanted them to move forward, he'd have to be at least half honest with her.

"Just some harsh words," he said, giving in. "A few bouts of name calling and a few hits of his belt. I'm fine though, it didn't hurt." Joss' eyes went instantly to the red marks upon his forearms, welts that although hadn't broken the skin still told a despicable tale. "Honestly." He grinned, trying to laugh off the tension.

"Why was he mad this time?" Joss mumbled, feeling her wall of anger begin to fully crumble.

"It started with with him wanting me to pick up Max instead of going to Trish's party, and by the fourth bottle it turned into me messing around with some chick he doesn't approve of."

Joss felt a little ripple of shock run through her. "What kind of 'chick' doesn't he approve of?" Joss asked, wondering if, in reality, it was her causing all this drama in his home life, just as she'd feared at the arcade.

Billy pushed a hand through his hair, clearly pushing back his own annoyance too. "Just someone older," he said, with so much forced calmness that Joss could almost see him physically squirm.

"Older?" Now that had really put Joss' thinking off kilter and she fumbled with her own thoughts, trying to make sense out of his words.

"I'm not, he just always thinks I'm up to no good," Billy said, with a small smug smile that hinted that was exactly what he was up to most nights. "It was pretty tame, he'd been out drinking with Susan half the day, so he didn't have much conviction."

Joss let out a heavy breath, knowing despite all this information Billy was still not welcome in her house.

"Then you should go home, before anyone notices you're missing."

"He's passed out until morning," Billy said, smiling like he was winning some kind of victory.

"Then you'll be able to sneak back without much trouble."

"I thought maybe..." his smile sharpened to a hungry grin, "we could..." He glanced back behind her to inside the house and he licked his lips in heavy insinuation of those next unspoken words.

"Goodnight, Billy," Joss said, and began to push the door closed again.

"Wait, wait!" He pushed back lightly, suddenly understanding at once he was on thin ground. Joss could tell he was using all his energy and mask-on charm to stay cool when this situation was not going how he had planned. "Are we okay?"

Joss drew her shoulders up in aloofness. "I don't know. Let's talk another time."

"Okay," Billy said, moving away from the door, "but we'll talk, right?"

"Goodnight," Joss repeated, and this time he didn't try to stop her closing the door.

/

A/N

Hello, welcome. How are enjoying the story so far?

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and Joss putting her foot down, but as we see by the end, her conviction is already wavering. Would you be as charmed by Billy as Joss seems to be? How far is he going to be able to push her I wonder? How far will she push him? Between his anger and her stubbornness, it feels like a recipe for disaster, which I have to admit I find super fun to write. I really wanted to make Joss as flawed as Billy but in different ways, but that's something that will come more into play later.

Until next time, I hope you had fun.