Chapter 5
The cheese was the bait- won't somebody help me before it's too late
"What do you mean, you can't use magic around here?" Malachite demanded.
"Just what I said," I calmly replied. "I don't dare cast any spells in the immediate area. We're walking out of here unfortunately." Ugh, it's worse for me, I can't summon my pocket horse. You know how slowly I move, don't give me that look. Actually, he could carry me at least, the others could move at their own pace.
"Perhaps a further explanation would go a long way, even if we don't completely understand it?" Hanz added.
"Okay, how to put this..." I stalled. "When we landed I started feeling around for ambient mana, just to get a feel for the local 'flavor' and see if any spells had been cast recently. To my surprise the flavor was 'chaos' and there's a lot of it. You know about the moon of course?" I pointed up, at the large chaos moon above us. Both nodded. Snarly was too busy hyperventilating and talking to himself over by the crack, gripping the sword in both hands and staring into the abyss. He'll be fine! "Well, as the source of all magic in the world or at least the thing that caused magic to grow in strength upon the Earth, it still influences us in many ways despite being so far away. For one thing, sometimes pieces of it are ejected from the surface and fall to our world. Those pieces are always saturated with chaos magic, and cause unpredictable results to be around. Studying them is how we got chaos mages, who can tap into the chaos of magic directly, casting spells that warp reality in ways normal magic can't. They tend to go crazy though, so I don't recommend delving too deeply into it. Somewhere around here," I looked around in vain, "there must be a huge chunk of rock or something from the chaos moon. It must be huge, I feel it saturating this whole area, so it probably landed hundreds or thousands of years ago. The crater got filled in, the trees and other plant-life came back, and no one has been the wiser. Until today." I crossed my arms, scowling. "When we need my magic to either shrink us or widen this crack. And then fight a dragon-worm thing, but one thing at a time."
"And this is bad?" Malachite prompted.
"Very bad," I agreed. "I cast magic now, inside an area of chaos magic this strong? Anything could happen. And trying to gather ambient mana into my core to strengthen spells? Forget it! I don't want chaos aspected mana anywhere near my core! What if it doesn't come out again? What if it turns me into a chaos mage? I have enough problems without my magic causing chaos breaches or starting to talk to fairies that aren't there or whatever. Chaos mages are nuts, I want to emphasize this."
"Perhaps we could walk to where the effect weakens, cast the shrinking spell the dragon gave us, and then- ah, the walk would then be three times as long..." Hanz realized. "Unless it was just on myself, and you carried me back? Could you carry me if we were both shrunk down, to avoid walking?" they asked Malachite.
"I don't know. My wings would be smaller, wouldn't they? Wouldn't generate as much lift. Yes I know birds have small wings but they have feathers, it's different for them. I think?"
"That would be a problem."
"What about thith stuff?" Snarly pointed to the spell symbol on the outside of the sword. "Is thith going to cauth problemth when I pull the thord out?"
"I'm not sure," I answered honestly. "Those spells are already cast, simply held in readiness. And I always take my time with them and invest as much mana as possible. Tell you what, you'll need a light anyway, use one of your light tokens and we'll see what happens."
"Okay." He got it out and activated it. The light, warping a little around the edges, appeared as normal and followed him.
"It should be fine," I assured him. "That's a low grade spell. Not much mana invested in it. The symbol on the sword is a higher grade. That should help stabilize it." Or would it be the other way around? Hummmmmm…
"That doesn't help the fact Snarly is going to have to go in there alone!" Malachite protested.
"Let's at least walk a little ways away, see how strong the effect is," I told him. "Snarly, stay here. If you leave the area of the cave the light will go out. Not that you couldn't use another token I made you three each right?"
Everyone nodded, but we headed out without him anyway. We walked a few minutes away but I was shaking my head the whole time. "It's no good, it's not falling off very quickly. We'd have to walk for a half hour or more. Especially at my speeds." I suppose I could make some tokens outside this area, shrink us down while riding Athame so we're clinging to her when we shrink. That way we could get back quickly. But I'm not going near any dragon without being able to use my magic. And the risk of using tokens isn't zero, that light spell doesn't look quite right, can we really risk it?
"Strange, that such an impediment would arise at this exact moment," Hanz mused. "Right when he needs us the most, Snarly is being forced to go it alone. Chugga chugga, choo chooooo!" A strange, deep sounding whistle sounded out from them.
"What?" we both asked.
"Oh nothing, nothing," they assured us. "My sound effects module suddenly activated, perhaps because of the chaos magic in the air."
That's not how that- never mind.
"So what do we tell old Snarls?" Malachite wanted to know. "A hearty pat on the back and a good luck, chum? Hope you don't get eaten? That's not fair to him!"
"Perhaps we must simply trust to the vision of the hobgoblins," Hanz agreed sadly. "They did provide him a weapon that, should he get close enough, will do the job. Unless you were lying for some reason, Orchid?"
"Of course not!" I snapped. "What a thing to say. Believe me, if that sword could think it would want to poison the world and would laugh the whole time it was doing it."
They shrugged. "Odds were against it, but now would be the time to come clean, as they say, before he does risk his life in the endeavor."
"Great, let's go tell him the good news..."
Back at the crack Malachite made sure to tell him this was his quest, it was his decision to go or not. There was always the possibility of simply waiting around here, it would get hungry sooner or later and come out. They could always tangle with it then.
"But by then thomeone could go into tha sewerth and find tha hobgoblins," he protested. "We have ta do it now."
"I'm simply giving you your options."
"Ith fine. That dragon won't know what hit ith."
"That's the spirit!" Malachite whacked him on the back and staggered him. "Get in there and show them what a poisonous, petite possum person can do!"
"I will pray for your success," I told him.
"Thankth. That meanth a lot to me," he admitted. "Here I go!" He clutched the sword and squeezed into the crack, the light bobbing along behind him.
I dropped to my knees and looked up. "Oh, patron of lost causes," I prayed, "watch over Snarly as he goes to his almost certain demise..."
"I can thill hear you!"
"Oh, protector of beasts!" I called even more loudly. "Watch over one of your own that he does not end up in the stomach of a toothy predator this day..."
We waited.
We also backed off, if Snarly did talk the thing into leaving we wanted to give it ample room to wiggle out and not think it was under attack. We were all pacing around, hoping Snarly was all right, when finally he emerged again, carrying an armload of stuff.
"Snarly!" we all shouted, running over there.
"Are you well?" I asked him, looking him over.
"Not a scratch," he told us, dumping his load. He had grabbed an urn of some kind, a pair of boots, and a large egg. "You'll need to put the magic back on," he indicated the sword and his dagger.
"You succeeded?" Hanz asked.
"I talked to her but she wath pretty dumb," he admitted. "I had to use tha thword in the end."
"I'm sorry," they said to him. "But I am glad to see you emerge victorious. I take it she came here to set up a nest?" They held up the egg.
"Yup. There'th loth more eggth. And a lot of junk in there. Take forever to haul it all out, probably not worth it. I can get more eggth though."
"We should see if any are fertile," Hanz agreed. "We don't want anyone else having to go through this in another fifty years."
"Thath right. I'll be back." He vanished into the crack again.
"So the little guy did it," Malachite said to himself, sounding a bit astonished. "Maybe there is something to this seer business after all. Ugh, does that mean we have to take that weird circus lady seriously too?"
"I would not discount her. Ah, another pair of boots." They picked up the boots Snarly had left. "Whatever happened to the first pair we found?"
"They're still hanging around," I told them. "None of us wears boots but I hated to sell them, as they are technically magical. I mean can you even imagine trying to get boots on this?" I held up a foot, I wore sandals because my legs were covered with crystalline protrusions just like the rest of me. Shoes I could maybe manage if they were low enough but not boots.
"Not selling those either," Malachite told us. "Unless you want the city guard after us."
"Ah, I thought that might be dragon scale," Hanz agreed. "Yes, quite illegal, especially this close to dragon territory."
"That figures," I agreed. "It's just our luck isn't it?"
We walked for some time after leaving the area, me feeling out the magic and by the time we got out of the zone and could climb aboard the Malachite Express it was after noon. We put away the boots and a few odds and ends Snarly had pulled out of the "hoard," put the eggs carefully in a sack, and went to tell the hobgoblins to get out of town. They were ecstatic both about the amount of dragon meat and scales and teeth and other materials the body would provide, as well as digging through the hoard. It seemed it wasn't theirs meaning the dragon-worm had been collecting stuff.
Just how long ago did that that monster move in, anyway?
They assured us that, under the guidance of their seer, they could leave right away and slip out of town without being seen, and scampered away.
"Good riddance," Malachite spat. "Let's never come down here again. Stinking sewers."
"Yes, I had an idea for turning sewage into topsoil with careful application of magic but I have no idea who to talk to about implementing it," I sadly mused. "A simple spell to hasten the usual breakdown of material would do it. Simply collect the sewage in large barrels, throw in some leaves, vegetable peelings, anything organic really, cast the spell, squeeze out the water, and sell high quality topsoil to farmers an hour later. Maybe a cure disease spell in there somewhere, just to make sure it's 'clean.' Of course the guild would insist the city pay for the castings, I don't know if the end material would make up for the cost. Stupid guild. It would be so much better for the city, less disease vectors, a valuable product produced at the end, everybody wins really. What were we talking about again?"
"Our reward?" Hanz suggested. "We can tell the city guard the well issue should be cleared up, and to send someone down to investigate the pumping plant more carefully."
"That's the one!" I agreed with a snap. "Let's do that. Money, and whatnot."
"And Shawarma after?" Malachite asked.
"Didn't you juth eat lunth?" Snarly asked him.
"It'll be an hour before we walk over to the guard building and see someone in charge to get the bounty for the job."
"Yer probably right."
We had a nice little "We're glad you're not dead" dinner for Snarly that night, those that ate having a big meal to celebrate. I had a small slice of cake because cake. We discussed what to do the next day, if we should take a day off as even if he wasn't hurt Snarly had fought a huge creature and that had to take a toll on a person. But he had another idea.
"The circus!" he cried, pointing to a poster on the way home. "We have free tickets, leth go thee what we can thee there!"
"What the hero of the day wants, the hero of the day gets," Malachite agreed. "We can check it out tomorrow."
"Yay!"
And so, the next day after breakfast we headed to see the Marvelous and Magical Techno-circus, making Hanz curious what the 'Tecno' part of the circus would entail. We got in free with our tickets, and discovered it was more like a fair than a simple circus, with game booths, wandering jugglers and performers, various small tents with the freaks inside- I was of course disguised as a driag like my boyfriend- no freaks here thank you very much.
"They must have worked all night to set this all up," Malachite remarked, looking around.
"I'm sure they're very efficient at it," Hanz countered. "We were not that far from the gate after all."
"Leth go see tha dancing bear!" Snarly decided, pointing to a tent. The sign indeed did say "dancing bear."
"I swear, if this is just a talking bear they've paid to do a dance number," Malachite grumbled. "I'm asking for my money back."
"But we got in free?" Snarly wondered, confused.
"Not the point little man."
We entered the tent and there was indeed a bear being forced to dance by a bored looking man that kept whacking it with a stick. We all shared a look.
"Say, are you a talkith bear?" Snarly asked it, going right up to the ropes.
"Back up kid!" snarled the man, giving the bear another whack. The bear was chained up and moving back and forth as if 'dancing' but gave a snarl as it was hit.
"Thay Orchid, you don't know any talk to animalth thpells, do you?"
I shook my head. "My communication spell requires language already, it's a separate spell to talk to animals."
"Thath too bad."
The bear got another whack.
"I feel pretty bad for tha bear," he admitted. "Maybe this wasnth the best-"
As the man went to whack the bear again it seemed they had finally taken all they could take. It roared, snapped the tether like it was a piece of string, reared up, and was about to smash into the handler. Of course the man scrambled back in fright, falling off his stool and probably wetting himself. I was, perhaps to my detriment, somewhat amused by all this. Malachite jumped into action, placing himself in harms way and knocking the bear off course. At least a little, because rather than go down the bear simply shoved him, making him stagger back. Hanz shooed the other people that were watching away and approached the bear, making odd growly noises to perhaps try calming it down.
"Oh, now it's on!" Malachite decided, catching his balance. "Get out of here!" he shouted to the man, who scrambled to all fours and raced past me.
"I knew I should have been a chef!" I heard him muttering to himself.
"This is more like it," Snarly decided. "I wish I had thome popcorns."
"Are you nuts there's a bear on the loose!" Malachite yelled, again going to grab the bear. He was backhanded, went flying, and came to a rest looking up at me with a very shocked and confused expression on his face.
"How am I losing to a bear?" he managed.
You lost to a couple of wolves if you recall? "If you've had your fun?" I asked him in an exasperated tone, raising my hands. I pulled ambient mana through my core and pointed at the bear, still unsure what to do about Hanz who was speaking softly to it and trying to appear non-threatening. "Arise!" I commanded. The bear obliged, legs pinwheeling as it was lifted off the floor and become totally harmless.
"Ith not a whole ship, but I'd pay ta see it," Snarly remarked.
"Now what do we do with it?" Malachite wondered, taking my hand so he could get up. Not that I helped all that much, mind you, he was more likely to yank me off my feet if he wasn't careful, but a good girlfriend is always there to help her man, I decided. I needed to think of these things now, after all.
"Go look for the handler?" I suggested. "I can handle things here."
"He can't have gone far," he agreed, and swept the door of the tent out of his way. A moment later he returned, the man's arm held in one of his claws.
"Okay, okay, I'm here," he agreed, pulling away from Malachite. "It's under control isn't it?"
"That it is," I told him. "You owe me 70 embers."
"I beg your pardon?!"
"You heard me. Guild regulations, my hands are tied I'm afraid. I figured you didn't want a dead bear, or a knocked out bear, so this was the next best thing. Telekinesis magic, grade 6. At my level the standard cost for the spell is 70 embers. I did save the place from a rampaging bear, and no one here was hurt. I mean can you even imagine? What if that bear had killed someone? You got off cheaply my friend so pay up." For once I don't even care the guild make me charge. Who does this guy think he is, making this bear go crazy like that?
"Yes, what kind of trainer are you?" Hanz asked. "I'd like to see your badge I tell you what. Do you even have the Boulder badge? I doubt it."
"The what?" the man seemed confused.
"Never mind, just pay the lady. She did technically defeat your pokemon, even if she didn't use one of her own. Orchid would you say you were closer to psychic type or rock type?"
"I- what?" Now I don't know what they're on about.
"Never mind," they sighed. "As usual. I don't see you getting out a coin pouch, friend."
"I'll have to go get it, just wait right here!" He darted out of the tent again, making Malachite narrow his eyes.
"I better keep an eye on our new buddy," he remarked, following him out.
"Wouldn't thee be magic type?" Snarly asked.
"Magic type wasn't a thing," Hanz replied. "Maybe fairy type?"
"Oh I could thee that!"
"Hey fairies are cool don't you diss fairies!" I warned them.
"I wathen't!"
"Do you hear shouting?" Hanz asked.
I sighed. "Let's go. Come on bear." We all headed out to see what the commotion was, I pulled the bear out with me, making everyone turn to see it.
Great, I'm a freak with a floating bear after all. Sigh. At least I'm still disguised, thank the angels for small favors.
Finally the ringmaster or whatever he called himself showed up and we got the whole thing sorted out. I got my 7 moons, thank you very much, and the bear went back in his cage to cool down. The brownie promised to look into his acts and employees a bit more carefully from now on, and hoped our stay had not been ruined so early in the day.
"Are you kidding?" Snarly asked. "Thith is the most excitement I've had, that wathn't tryna kill me. I hope the rest of tha day liveth up to it!"
"Please do enjoy the rest of the circus," he bade us. "And thank you again for taking care of that, it really could have been a disaster."
Yeah, no kidding. But hey, easy money, and I got to use magic for what I believe it should be used for. Actually helping people out. You can't ask for more than that!