Chapter Fifty-Seven: New Mournings

2 weeks since Greengate

Dear Diary,

It's been fourteen days since the universe was supposed to end, and I still can't wrap my head around the fact that it didn't. I know that, through all of this war, I'd been fighting for some semblance of hope that we'd be able to do something to end it, to make some sort of future, but now that we actually did do something and did make a future for ourselves, reality feels less real. To be fair, we're not entirely sure what reality looks like anymore. Not after what Tails did to save time itself.

Tails is still unconscious in the infirmary. I guess it shouldn't be surprising. He took more Chaos Energy into his body than I think Sonic ever has before. He's breathing, his heart rate is only a tad slower than usual, and his brain activity is normal, according to Chris. But it's like something in him still needs more time to heal. Sonic's hardly left his side. The only way I can get Sonic to take a break is to replace him for as long as Sonic can bear to stay away.

But then I'm alternating watch with Shadow outside Black Thorn's room, so I can't offer as much of a break to Sonic as I'd like. We're…not all that sure what to do about her. Like, she's both just this poor broken kid and also the leader of the Metarex. The Metarex are gone now, all but her. And I'm sure Tails knew what he was doing when he decided the most important thing was to save her, but as long as he's unconscious, we can't ask him what to do next.

It's wild that we can make it as far as this point and still not feel something approaching relief. Time itself has been rewritten but we don't know what that even means in most practical senses. We don't know what Tails did. And as soon as he finished, right after Sonic caught him when he fell, Angel and C2—our two links to anything related to the timeline—literally vanished. Which, after weeks of them being trapped in our time, at least partially mortal, is probably a good sign. It probably means they're both fully Time Whisperers again. But it also could mean they're in massive trouble for interfering in the timeline, like C2 was always afraid would happen. What could punishment even look like for a Time Whisperer?

So, without a single answer and no one we can ask for one, we're heading for Majyk. It's the tiniest spark of hope we have, the one thing we can think of that Tails might have tried to change. But it's a fragile hope, one we're afraid to have. It feels so much like holding our breath.

Love,

Amy Rose

Amy wanted little more than to remember how to breathe without this impossibly tense tightness wrapped around her lungs. But with her current view, anything beyond her painful present seemed like a far-off dream. She slid her eyes up to look over the top of her notebook sitting on her knees. Just beyond that lay Tails in the infirmary bed that only a few weeks ago had belonged to Sonic.

It all seemed so wrong to Amy that someone who'd taken on every scrap of Chaos Energy he could find in the universe and then figured out how to wield it, could now be so small. Whenever she blinked, she saw Tails glowing gold with darkness at just his edges. Only to open her eyes again to this same reality where he was hardly even…

"Any change?"

Amy tilted her head in the direction of Sonic's voice as he dropped into the empty seat next to her. "You're supposed to be sleeping," she muttered, eyeing the dark circles under his eyes.

He raised a brow at her. "Nah, it's eleven. I'm on the schedule."

"What?" She twisted around to find the clock on the wall, and sure enough, it bore the time Sonic said it should. She slumped in her seat. "Now I'm losing track."

"To be fair, I didn't sleep. Couldn't," Sonic admitted. He gestured toward the door with his thumb. "But I told Shadow you're on your way. Chris says he and Nova should be good to disembark soon."

"You told Shadow…why were you hanging out with Shadow instead of sleeping?" Amy said.

Sonic's eyes very pointedly focused on Amy. Like he wanted to leave no room for second-guessing. "Not Shadow. Black Thorn, actually."

Amy's eyes widened. "What?"

Sonic smirked. "You don't think I can handle myself? I had Shadow right outside the door for back-up."

"No! That's not the point, that's…" But Amy's fury was quickly fading away, giving way to the truer confliction and confusion beneath.

"Yeah," Sonic agreed, even absent a spoken end to Amy's thought. His gaze slid from her to Tails sleeping unaware in front of them. "She's a mixed up kid. The Metarex used her, just like they used me. Don't get me wrong, a lot of what happened was her idea and her command. But she's still a traumatized kid who couldn't figure out how to find a safe space in this world."

Amy bit her tongue to stop herself from saying something she might regret. Instead, she paused, following Sonic's gaze to Tails as she puzzled her way to the meaning beneath Sonic's words. Only then did she try to speak. "Back on Greengate, when Tails started talking to Black Thorn, you let him. Even though the fake Energy was closing in, you didn't stop him or speed him up. I had no idea why he was doing that, other than maybe he was trying to be a good guy. But you knew, didn't you?"

Sonic hummed his affirmation. "I think he saw the version of himself that was Dark Super Tails in her, and he knew then that she was worth saving, cuz he was too."

Amy's heart cracked open, even as it simultaneously started to try to heal. She pulled her notebook in toward her chest to use its assistance in holding herself together. "So what do we do with that?"

Sonic shrugged. "Don't know. Figure out what's right in front of us, then move onto whatever's after that. If Tails isn't awake by then, we'll figure it out between us."

If Tails wakes up.

Amy squashed the thought as soon as it rose up. She refused to think like that, not after all they'd gone through to get this far. Refused such a pessimistic thought like that to live on, even just in her own head. And certainly not out loud, especially anywhere Sonic might hear.

-X-X-X-

Nova's View

When Shadow's hand wrapped around her own didn't steady her, Nova knew she was in trouble. They stood just outside the Blue Typhoon on the runway outside Light Shale City. As they had descended through Majyk's atmosphere, they had been cleared to land by an actual voice. They saw the city in wholeness, at least at a distane. All promising signs.

"Are you ready?" Shadow asked.

Nova choked on her laugh. Anxiety ached in the pit of her. "Can I use the word 'no' to mean 'yes?'"

"Of course."

Nova sighed. Her wings, which she was already struggling to hold up properly, drooped with the sigh. "I must know what timeline Tails enacted here, and I'm afraid to know."

Shadow waited. He didn't question what she felt or ask if maybe she didn't want to go after all. He knew she already knew the answers to such questions. Instead, he gave her the space she needed to build up her strength.

When she stared walking without further explanation, he simply fell into step beside her.

The unsettling normality started almost immediately. Because when they'd been given clearance to land, Chris had included the fact that Majyk's princess was on board the ship, which meant just beyond the immigration turnstiles—which it exhausted Nova to see, after a timeline where she'd campaigned for their removal—was a dark car and a driver waiting for them. At least the magician greeted her as 'Nova' and not 'princess.' But still, even as she slid into the backseat, she realized she couldn't release Shadow's hand. Her fingers were too stiff for her brain to negotiate into movement, even though Nova's illness meant there wasn't any particular strength in her grip. When Shadow slid in beside her, he whispered, "Breathe, Nova."

She took in a sharp breath. She couldn't loosen her body enough to sit comfortably. But most of all, she couldn't explain why this hint of peace felt like the end of the world.

-(-)-

Driving through Light Shale City, Nova couldn't begin to rationalize what she was seeing with her previous memory of this place. This seemed like the city of her preteen years, spent behind rose-colored glasses. Because the city was perfect. Whole, beautiful, populated by fairies and magicians going about their business like nothing was wrong, like nothing had ever been wrong.

"They don't remember, do they?" Nova whispered. Though there was a divider in the vehicle separating her and Shadow from the driver, she still barely dared to give voice to her words.

"It would appear not," Shadow agreed beside her. "Perhaps because we were at the epicenter of the time-altering event, our awareness of the alternate timeline remains."

"It's better than them remembering," Nova said. And it was. It was. But to look out on the streets of the city she'd grown up in, to see the people she fought to protect thriving, it made her feel very alone in her remembering of the other possible option. Remembering how her entire city burned. How the Metarex had slaughtered them and left their corpses in the street. That memory felt more real than reality now.

Nova's forehead pressed against her knees. She didn't remember falling forward. The in-between of the movement had been swallowed. By the flashback, she realized now. When had she started hyperventilating? Shadow pulled the hair away from the back of her neck. Patient even as she was losing track of fractions of time. "Tell me three things you know, Nova," he told her.

Nova's skin blazed hot. She felt foolish, ashamed for losing her grip because of the joy of her people. She didn't want them to suffer. She wanted them to have peace. So how could she be crumbling in the face of such things?

"Nova, tell me three things you know," Shadow repeated. He slid off the edge of his seat and onto the floor, like he was trying to get closer to her face to read her expression. To ensure more urgent action wasn't needed.

Right. She knew how to do this. She counted the breath she inhaled, counted as she held it, counted as she exhaled. "My name is Princess Nova of Majyk," she murmured eventually. "I am on Majyk, in Light Shale City."

Nova lifted her head from her knees enough that she could meet Shadow's eyes. They watched her steadily. Not panicked. Not judgemental. Just present. So she admitted, "And I'm terrified that I'm the only one who remembers what happened to Majyk. Because it makes me wonder if my memories are real or just another symptom of all the sickness inside me."

Shadow pressed his hand against Nova's again. "I remember, Nova. You are not alone."

-(-)-

Nova struggled to walk down the halls of her own home, even with Shadow at her side. The earlier anxiety attack in the car certainly hadn't done her any favors. And it felt like another one could be on the horizon. After all, even if the castle at the center of Light Shale City had been her home her whole life, she'd also been left for dead there in the middle of a Metarex attack not once but twice now.

Nova was starting to realize she might not be able to walk into her bedroom ever again. The scene of both her traumas.

"Nova!"

She froze. Shadow stilled beside her. For a second, Nova forgot how to move, how to think. Shadow brushed the back of his hand against hers. Only then could she figure out how to turn around.

Her mother stood just a few feet away.

Her mother, in a long floral gown, with multicolored wings. Her mother, alive.

When last she had seen her mother…

Nova's throat threatened to close.

"I hadn't realized you'd gone off planet until I heard word you'd returned," her mother said airily, as if the entire world simply wasn't melting around them. She bridged the distance between them and gathered Nova into a hug that Nova no longer had any idea how to accept. She stood stiffly in her mother's embrace. "Not that you aren't welcome to; with these time shifts to consider, you're certainly an adult. But it was a surprise."

When she pulled back from her daughter, she turned her smile toward Shadow in greeting for a moment before returning her attention to Nova. So Nova saw the moment that smile froze on her mother's face. Shadow did too, if his hand snatching up Nova's was any indication.

"Your wings," her mother breathed, like she dare not say it louder.

Nova squeezed Shadow's hand like she was holding onto it for dear life.

"Those are…those are new scars," her mother continued. When she placed a hand on Nova's shoulder, Nova allowed herself to be steered into turning so that her wings could be more closely examined. Nova fully faced Shadow now. He locked his eyes on hers and held them. "Nova, these…these are serious wounds. Nova, what happened?"

Nova couldn't look at her mother. She focused her attention on Shadow. Her vision was shaking, going dark at the edges. Shadow's gaze held hers. 'Breathe,' he mouthed.

She tried. "My wings are not the main concern," she managed. And as explanation, she lifted her hand with her middle finger and ring finger pressed together and her other fingers splayed out.

The first step of a quick test for Airin's Disorder.

Nova's mother didn't press her hand up against her daughter's. And Nova couldn't look away from Shadow. All of her was shaking now. Even though Shadow had just reminded her to breathe, she could no longer remember how.

And then, both of her mother's hands wrapped around the hand Nova had outstretched.

Nova squeezed her eyes shut. When her head fell forward, her forehead pressed against Shadow's. And finally, in the face of all the peace her people had gained, Nova finally mourned all she had lost.

-X-X-X-

Sonic's View

Sonic had twisted his chair around to sit on it the reverse direction. His arms rested on the back of the chair and his chin sat on top of the stack. His eyes ached with exhaustion even as his mind ran in vicious circles that kept him wide awake at Tails's bedside. Someday, Sonic would learn to forgive himself for letting Tails take on this burden in his place. Logically, Sonic knew now as he knew then that there had been no other option. But spending two weeks waiting for your little brother to wake up from what could only be described as a coma at this point meant logic was a faraway thing.

"Sonic?"

Sonic picked up his head and twisted toward the open door of the infirmary. Nova stood there, leaning heavily against the doorframe, with Shadow standing back in the hallway beyond her. Shadow's eyes were very much focused on Nova rather than on Sonic, and Sonic could clearly see why. Nova's normally fiercely composed—though maybe borderline angry—face was instead splotchy and swollen with recent tears.

Sonic swung his leg over the seat of the chair and climbed to his feet. "What's up?" he asked as he crossed the short length between them.

Nova's eyes didn't flicker away from Sonic's for even a second. But then she took a deep breath like she was bracing for impact. "Would you mind if I came and stayed with all of you on Mobius for a while?"

Sonic furrowed his brow. Opened his mouth, then stopped himself. He smiled instead. "Sure. Amy's got a spare bedroom. Or I'm sure Cream's mom would love to have you."

Nova continued to stare at Sonic, like she expected him to say something more. After a second, Sonic shrugged. "Okay, so you should probably check with Amy or Vanilla, but we'll figure something out. I'm assuming tall, dark, and brooding's coming with you?"

Finally, Nova rolled her eyes, lightening the severity of her swollen expression. "I'll go check with Amy," she said as she shoved off the wall. "Thanks, Sonic."

Sonic watched her walk away until she was out of sight before his eyes snapped back to Shadow who, for once, wasn't following after Nova. His severe expression was already waiting for Sonic. In a low voice, Sonic asked, "The people of Majyk? Did Tails—"

"They're restored," Shadow confirmed. "Tails rewrote that particular piece of the timeline."

A weight that Sonic hadn't even known he'd been carrying slid from his shoulders. And he hadn't even seen Majyk after the Metarex left it devastated. Maybe the weight was simply the question of what sort of changes Tails had made to the timeline.

But Shadow's eyes just narrowed further. "You haven't asked why Nova doesn't wish to remain with her own people."

Sonic shrugged again. "She didn't offer. If she needs me to know, she'll say so."

Shadow's scowl didn't lighten in the least, like Sonic's words didn't alleviate Shadow's suspicions of Sonic's character. So finally, after shooting a quick glance down toward the ends of the hallway to once more make sure no one else—especially not Nova—was around, Sonic added, "I know what trauma looks like. I'm not gonna make Nova go through it if I don't have to by asking questions I don't need the answers to."

The corner of Shadow's lips quirked upward for a heartbeat. The closest that hedgehog would ever come to a 'thank you,' apparently. Then, Shadow just nodded into the room. "And Tails?"

Sonic sighed, twisting back toward the still sleeping form of Tails. His small chest slowly rose and fell with each breath. "Same as ever," Sonic said.

Shadow grunted. But just when Sonic thought Shadow was done, he added, "It's an unfair reality where those that fight so viciously for peace see none."

Sonic fell back against the wall behind him, crossing his arms against his chest. He got the sense Shadow was no longer talking about Tails. "Someday we will," Sonic said. "It'll look different than we wanted, but that's the exciting part, isn't it?"

"'Exciting?'" Shadow repeated, sounding unconvinced.

"Sure," Sonic said. "Time's good for softening the hard stuff. Not erasing it usually. But the aftermath gets brighter than the offense. You're stronger for having faced it, and eventually that seems bigger than the horror you went through to get there. Not saying that it makes the nightmares worth going through. But it keeps me getting up in the morning. Makes the worst days survivable." Sonic cut his eyes over to Shadow, thinking of Nova when he added, "Distance helps too."

Shadow dipped his head in a nod. Sonic turned back to Tails. Sonic's chest ached, like his very heart was asking when there would be enough time and distance from this reality for the softening to start. But Sonic clung tight to the hope in his own words. Someday, he would be stronger for having faced all these things.

But someday was not today. And like Nova's, Sonic's heart was bleeding. He could cling to someday. But today, he would allow himself to hurt.