Merry Christmas if you celebrate.

Happy Wednesday if you don't.

As I have done since my very first Christmas as a writer, in 2011, I am putting up an update for Christmas. If you're surrounded by family and overwhelmed, use this as an excuse to sneak off to the garden/bathroom and do something for yourself. If you're alone, here's some company for you. If you are in fact having a great Christmas with no time or inclincation to read, I'm happy for you and the chapter will be waiting for you whenever you're reading. Whichever camp you fall into, thank you for coming on this journey with me xxx

Whichever camp you fall into, thank you for coming on this journey with me xxx

9. Planning

A hush fell over the room as they all absorbed Peter's words. Each and every one of those that belonged to this world present had been a part of the war against Thanos, and they'd lost the first wave of that war, losing half the world as a result. It was supposed to be over now, though, Peter was Worthy, he and Bucky had lived, and Thanos was supposed to be in the rearview mirror for them.

And yet Steve knew from the look on Peter's face that it wasn't over for him. And if he was being honest with himself, it wasn't over for him, either.

"Do you know what Thanos did to us, Tony?" Peter asked. "May?"

"We know some," Tony replied. "Like I said, I created I-Spy after the first wave of the attack, so we saw the aftermath of his Snap, but we saw and heard enough to know what he did. We just don't know exactly how, apart from the fact you needed The Infinity Stones to reverse it, which now belong to you."

Peter nodded and said, "Dad, do you want to fill him in on the rest?"

"Not really," Tony said. "But I will. Okay, Thanos is a type of alien called a Titan. He's… Well, he's a megalomaniac asshole with an obsession with balance. He spent his life traveling from planet to planet, across the universe, killing half the population each place he stopped."

"He kills half of them all?" May asked, sounding horrified.

Tony nodded soberly. "He's got an army he uses, but yeah, half of them are murdered each time. He believes he's making the universe better, creating balance to protect it, but he's just a freak on a power trip really. Somehow he worked out he could kill half the population with just a snap of his fingers if he had The Infinity Stones"—he gestured to Peter—"and so he made it his mission to get them. When he got them… Well, it just took a snap of his fingers to destroy the universe…"

Despite the dire situation that seemed to be coming for his world, Steve detected a gleam in the other Tony's eye as he listened to his counterpart explain how the world ended for them. It wasn't something he'd ever seen in the Tony he loved as a brother. There was something unnerving about it, and Steve wasn't exactly easily spooked.

"I think we can assume Thanos' plan is the same in my reality," that Tony said, face falling into lines of sadness but that gleam in his eyes that Steve distrusted remained.

Peter ran a hand through his hair. "I guess it makes sense. There are millions of realities, and new ones branching off all the time with decisions being made here in Prime. There are thousands of versions of Thanos, and they've probably all got the same ideologies for the world."

His eyes became distant and haunted, and Steve wondered if he was imagining all those worlds, all the realities that he wasn't there to protect. His suspicion was confirmed when Bucky cleared his throat and said, "Take it easy, bud. You can't be everywhere at once."

Peter forced a smile. "No, I know, and neither can The Stones. It's just…" He sighed. "I thought it was done. We were supposed to be done with that fight."

"Technically, it is done," Bucky said. "He's not coming for us, Pete. It's not on you to fix it. We're already got enough here to worry about. Forget about Thanos."

Peter's eyes snapped to him, and deep lines appeared on his brow. Steve was shocked by what Bucky was saying, too. Steve knew as soon as May's words had sunk in that it would distress Peter and that he would find a way to stop it. Bucky had even more insight into Peter's state of mind through their connection, and yet he was way off-base thinking Peter wouldn't do whatever he could to protect that reality.

Bucky shot the other Tony a narrow look and then said, "Nemesis are what matter."

"I know," Peter said, those deep lines still on his brow. "But that doesn't mean I can abandon Tony and May's world to Thanos. You don't know what it was like here after The Snap, Buck. We were all together in the Soul Plane, and that was peace, but everyone here was doing their best to help, and the world was in chaos. I can't leave another world to go through all that."

"No, Bucky is right," the other Tony said. "You don't need to be a part of this, kid. It's our world to protect and our people can do it. If you could give us a ride back to our world, that'd be great, but it's not on you."

May nodded. "He's right, sweetie. This is our world's problem to fix."

Bucky looked between them with narrowed eyes. To Steve, he looked like he was questioning their sincerity. Of all the people that loved Peter, May and Tony were the ones that would be the fiercest about his protection. They didn't understand Peter was the least in need of their protection. Though… Steve still didn't like that gleam in Tony's eyes.

"But your world is mine, too, May," Peter said, a smile in his voice as he said her name, even though he was still troubled. "They're all my worlds."

"No," Tony said firmly, looking at his son with worried eyes. "Sure, you can take on this world, it's yours, have it, and if you want, this universe, too, I guess we have to deal with that, but you're not taking on all worlds. Pete, I know how strong you are and how brave, but that's just too big for you."

Peter smiled sadly, looking oddly old, as if Tony was the son and Peter the father. "Dad, there is no more too big with The Stones. That's the point. All the worlds, all the universes and galaxies are mine to protect."

Steve had never fully understood it before, how much was on Peter's shoulders; at least he'd never actually taken in the breadth of it. Earth was Peter's to protect, he'd known that, and he supposed he knew that it was this universe, too, though he'd never really accepted it, but Peter's responsibility was apparently everything in existence.

He remembered the conversation, which seemed like a lifetime ago, in which T'Challa told them that he thought Peter having The Infinity Stones could be great for the world, that he could be a protector—how Peter had said he would not be a weapon but a shield. They had thought that would be too much for him, and at the time it was. But now, with Peter's power and knowledge of The Stones absolute, there really was no too much—Peter was responsible for all worlds, Tony and May's included.

But how on earth was he supposed to live with that on his shoulders forever, even with Bucky at his side?

Peter blew out a huge breath and said, "Okay, Mo, how about you go play in your room for a while?"

Morgan narrowed her eyes. "Why?"

"Because I need to talk to Tony and May about some really boring grown-up secrets, and I don't want to bore you so much you fall asleep."

"Secrets." Morgan pouted. "Okay, I'll go play, but you'll come play when you're finished?"

"I'll do my best," Peter said, the noncommittal answer making Steve think he had more planned than an afternoon playing with his sister.

And that worried Steve.

Morgan wriggled out of her father's arms, skipped across the room to give Peter a hug, and then left the room.

"Okay," Peter said, blowing out a deep breath as soon as the sounds of her light footsteps had faded. "I think I need to…" He nodded. "Yeah."

He wasn't making any sense to Steve, but Bucky obviously knew as he said, "No! You're not."

Peter frowned. "Why not?"

"Why not what?" Clint asked. "How about the non-mind readers in the room get a little tip-off about what's got Bucky looking like that."

"I have to go to Tony and May's world," Peter said, at the same moment Bucky said, "No, you do not."

"Why not?" Peter asked, his voice calm but a small line of rarely seen annoyance between his brows.

Bucky opened his mouth and then shut it again. He gave their visitors a distrustful look and said, "You should be here for Nemesis."

"I will be, but I hurt them enough to know they're not going to be back for weeks. I trashed them worse than they ever did me, and remember how long it took me to recover? This world will be safe when I'm gone because you'll be here."

"No," Bucky said. "If you're going, I'm coming with you."

"You can't," Peter said. "You know that."

"But—"

Peter held up a hand. "Buck, I need to go, and I need you to stay here."

"What about what I need?" Bucky asked. "I have to be with you."

"We don't get to choose!" Peter snapped. "This is saving their world from the pain our world went through and protecting this world from what could come."

Steve was stunned to see them disagreeing like this. He struggled to remember a time Peter and Bucky had been on opposing sides and realized it had last happened when Peter was insistent on Bucky trying for his day in court and freedom when Bucky had been on the side of keeping the channel between him and Josef open. That was about Bucky and Peter each prioritizing the wellbeing of the other higher than themselves, and he supposed that could be Bucky's motivation this time, not wanting Peter to put himself at risk, but if Steve knew there was no stopping Peter, Bucky, who could read his mind, had to know, too.

"It is really losing half our population?" May asked, sounding strained.

"It was more than the human population we lost." Steve said, the memories of those difficult years freshening in his mind. "It was every living thing across the whole universe."

Peter nodded. "It seemed worse on earth for us because it was personal, our people—and pretty much everyone that was lost left behind a friend or family—but every single inhabited planet went through the same thing. That's what we're going to have to prevent in your world."

There was a tense silence in the room as those that remembered dwelled on what they'd experienced and those that hadn't wondered at what they had heard, then Peter ran a hand through his hand and said, "I need to talk to Thor. I'll be right back," then disappeared in a rush of rainbow light.

"Wow," May said. "I've seen it, of course, on I-Spy, but to be in the room when he just…"

"That's just the beginning of the wacky crap he does," Clint said with an attempt at a smile.

Steve wondered if he was thinking of his family in that other world; of the Clint Barton who stood to lose his entire family with a snap of fingers the way he had. Though Peter had forged a connection between The Soul Plane and its residents and those that had remained, and though that had helped massively, Clint's journey through those years had been the hardest of them all. His family had come back to him unchanged physically, and mentally only little thanks to Peter's influence and constant care, but Clint had lived an extra five years of struggle without them.

The one thing that he had been saved from was Natasha's death, and that was thanks to Peter. Natasha had blamed Clint for Peter doing that, though she'd not been able to hold the grudge for long before they were all back at the moment they'd last left off in 2023 and Peter was among them, whole and healed.

Steve still had the occasional dark time thinking of what Peter had gone through, lying at the bottom off that cliff, physically trashed and abandoned by his own design.

With another flash of light, Peter returned with Thor and, unexpectedly and unwelcomely, Loki. Both versions of Tony took a step forward at his arrival and their visitor said, "Loki, what are you doing here?" in a tone that indicated they were colleagues if not friends, whereas Peter's father said, "What is he doing here?"

Peter frowned, apparently surprised by Tony's vehemence. "Loki is on our side, Dad. And he's here because he has information for us. He was initially a part of Thanos team, after all."

"We've not forgotten," Natasha replied, and Tony crossed his arms over his chest.

Peter rolled his eyes. "Okay, since we don't have time for this let's just say I vouch for Loki, and I invited him here. He's my guest."

Thor nodded and clapped Peter on the shoulder with force that would knocked an ordinary person over but merely jostled Peter. "Thank you, Peter Parker. Once again, you have come to our aid."

Peter shot him a smile and said, "We need to know everything you know about how The Infinity Stones were taken, and anything you can think of about Thanos that might help us."

"Help you what?" Loki asked.

Peter's gaze became intense. "To get to The Stones in Tony and May's world before he can."

The visiting version of Tony was looking at Peter with an odd intensity and that same light in his eyes that had puzzled Steve before. But it was Bucky that caught his eyes, because he was looking at Peter with a kind of desperation that made no sense. The situation was bad, yes, but Peter was the least vulnerable of them all.

So what was scaring Bucky so much?

Peter indicated for them to sit and then he leaned forward and said, "Loki, you start, what can you tell us?"

Loki's brow furrowed. "I don't imagine I can tell you anything you do not already know, but the most potent thing I remember about Thanos, apart from him snapping my neck I mean, is that he had a laser focus on his mission to bring what he calls harmony to the world. He truly believes he is a savior, not a villain. It's an almost religious thing to him." His eyes darkened. "And only one thing will stop him."

"Going for the head," Thor said darkly.

Peter nodded. "I think you're right, so that's what we'll do, but I want to stack the odds in our favor as much as we can, because once he has all The Infinity Stones, I can't stop him snapping."

"Then what do we do?" Clint asked, lines of stress on his brow.

"We get The Stones first," Peter said. "That's the only way I can stop him using them apart from killing him."

"You don't want to kill him?" Steve asked.

"No, I'll kill him," Peter said, though he sounded troubled by it. "We have to. I already made the mistake of leaving an enemy alive when I left Ross on Gryn Fylds. I just want to stack the odds in favor of that world winning. Remember, Thanos isn't the only one that can Snap. He's got his army and his lackeys—"

"The Children Of Thanos," Loki supplied.

"Exactly," Peter said. "And since they're the reason me and Tony ended up on Titan with Strange, we know they're not an easy win."

"We ended up on Titan because of that asshole Strange," Tony growled.

"Partially true," Peter said. "But they're a threat to all civilians around them. And any one of them can take on Thanos' mission if he's dead or incapacitated or— hell, even if he's busy. We have to get The Stones away, out of his reach, so that world is safe."

"Why can't you stop him?" Loki asked, sounding almost apologetic at asking the question at all. "I understand you possess The Infinity Stones, Thor says they belong to you in some way, that you command them, so can't you command them to… not kill half the universe?"

Peter grimaced. "If I could, I would in a heartbeat, but it doesn't work that way. There are copies of The Stones in every universe as gems, but they're just a conduit to me and my power. Technically, Thanos would be using my power against my will."

"That's the stupidest thing I ever heard," Loki said, no longer remotely apologetic. "What is the point in possessing that kind power if it can be used against you?"

Steve looked to Peter, wondering how he'd react. Though he would never say it to Peter, he agreed with what Loki was saying—why couldn't The Stones just choose not to be used.

Peter frowned, eyes a little distant, then he said, "Using them is the point of having them, even if it's imperfect. Doing things like saving you from space and using them to bring the Asgardians to Tønsberg early so Thanos wouldn't murder them when he came for the Space Stone— All of those things are the point."

Loki flinched at the reminders of what Peter had done for his people, not that Steve believed that had been Peter's intent. He was merely using examples Loki would be able to relate to.

"We're sorry," Thor said, looking guilty, too. "We are so appreciative of what you've done for us."

Peter smiled a little ruefully, and Steve wondered if he, like Steve, was remembering Thor's initial reaction to Peter and his power. The difference between then and now was huge.

"I am grateful," Loki said, back to apologetic.

It was a little weird to see that side of him when he'd been the reason for the Battle of New York. Though, as Steve reminded himself, he was under the control of Thanos at the time. However, he'd never really gotten good-guy vibes from him besides that, and Thor alluded to a lot of damage he'd done before.

"It's okay," Peter said. "I'm probably being too defensive." He ran a hand through his hair. "I've got to go."

"You're really going to come help us?" the other Tony asked.

Peter looked surprised at the question. "Of course. I'll go talk to Mom and Morgan then we'll go."

He rose to his feet and headed out of the room.

Bucky watched him go then said, "Steve, come with me," brusquely and headed outside and around the building to the track.

Steve followed, growing more confused and concerned with each step in silence until Bucky turned around, eyes wild with emotion, and said, "You've got to go with him!"

Steve frowned. "Of course I am. Buck, you didn't really think I'd stay back while he went up against Thanos, did you?"

"Screw Thanos!," Bucky said, stunning Steve again. "It's Tony you have to worry about. Not our Tony, not our brother: I mean the one that came here to— " He shook his head, still looking a little wild. "The Infinity Stones warned me about him. Dammit, I should be able to go with you, but—" He drew in a sharp breath and said, "Peter's not letting me go so you have to go and make sure he comes back again."

"I will, but he is coming back." Steve said. "He's going to be fine. The Stones said he will be."

"I'm not worried about his health or even his life. I know he'll be okay. What I don't know is if he'll be able to leave that world and that Tony behind when that Tony wants to keep him there more than anything. The Stones told me he's obsessed with getting him back. I couldn't think what would make him stay there and leave Morgan behind, but then May showed up and… He has to come home, Steve!"

Steve grabbed his shoulders and gave him a rough shake. "Bucky, calm down! Of course he is going to come back. Sure, he's got May there and that Tony might need him, but he's got us here and Morgan, and he can see his real May—and Ben—whenever he likes in the Soul Plane. I get what you're saying but Queens isn't going to just abandon us all in this world because a version of Tony, a version that was never his father, wants him there. Give the kid some credit."

Bucky blinked, the crazed look fading from his eyes and becoming a little calmer. "Yes," he said, blowing out a huge breath. "Yes, he will. He wouldn't leave us."

"And he wouldn't leave you," Steve said. "Have some faith in what you two have, Buck—you're bonded for eternity. He wouldn't just dump you here alone."

"He wouldn't," Bucky agreed. "God, I'm an asshole."

Steve patted his shoulder. "Doubt is natural, but you know him as well as any of us and better than most. Yes, it'll hurt him to leave that world when it's over because it's going to hurt May and Tony, but he'll still do it."

Bucky nodded. "I know. It's just… They got in my head, and I panicked." He looked at Steve and said, sounding more vulnerable than he ever had before, "I lived my whole life before that battle not knowing much about Spider-Man and nothing about Peter Parker at all, but… Before we were bonded, when we thought he was going to die, I wanted to kill myself when he died; I didn't want to live without him, couldn't bear the thought. And then we were bonded, so it shook down that I didn't have to live without him again, and that was… It was everything. Then The Stones said… And the thought of him not coming back was…"

Steve smiled fondly. "I love how much you love him. Queens has brought out all the best things about you and changed you only for the better. Of course you were scared. But you don't need to be about him leaving us. He will come back."

"But you've got to take care of him," Bucky said, some of the intensity coming back. "I won't be there, and he does stupid things to protect others, like when he jumped to save Nat."

Steve placed his hands on Bucky's shoulders, gently this time, and said, "I will make sure he's okay, Buck. But you've got to remember, that world has a whole team of Avengers of their own, and I'm pretty sure they'll be committed to protecting Queens, too. They had him and lost him after all."

"True," Bucky said."It's going to be okay," Steve said. "We'll go there, deal with Thanos, get The Stones before he can, then we'll be back—with one version of Tony only—and it'll be good."

Bucky nodded, seeming to draw comfort from his words. "You're right. I trust you to make sure…" He nodded again. "Yeah, it's going to be okay."

Steve smiled, pleased to see Bucky was reassured, calmer than the distraught mess he'd been. He knew it was going to be tough for Bucky to stay behind while Peter went away, but it was the right thing for him to stay. Like it or not, Peter and The Stones needed a presence in this world while they were working to save another, and that meant Bucky had to stay behind.

Steve was glad it wasn't the other way around.

So… They're going. I thought Loki's question was a pertinent one to include. I lost—and continue to lose—a great many readers by the end of With Great Power, and from the comments I can see it's often because of a similar question to what Loki is asking: What's the point of having The Stones if he's not using them, controlling them, stopping them being used against him?

I've resigned myself to the fact a lot of people won't even reach Hold On… because of that, and I do not regret what I wrote because it was character driven, and I always knew this was going to be a long tale and there was room for character and plot development. That's what I have done my best to provide, and I think I've succeeded pretty well. I think I've shown that Peter's right: using them when and where he can is the point, saving the people he can, and making a difference.

If you've made it to this note it means you're either in agreement or just patient enough to keep going regardless. Whichever it is, thank you.

Until next time…

Jadey xxx