Episode 3: Welcome to the Space Tree
At Scott Tenorman's Impenetrable Space Fortress of Doom...
He enters a part of his fortress where a bunch of gingerbots and ginger kids are at work.
Scott T: What's the status?
Armadillo: It turns out that our plan is succeeding. We're gonna make our very own interstellar amusement park here in space. We're gonna capture 5 planets and use the powers of the inhabitants who are living in them.
Scott T: That's amazing! I'm gonna do something Dr. Eggman should've done and I will take over the world! No. The Galaxy. No! The entire Universe! Hell, even the Multiverse! (He cackles evilly.) Now let's get this plan started!
And so, they proceeded in the plan.
(Play The Rubberband Man by The Spinners for this section and skip to 3:35 after the 0:20 mark.)
The scene shows the stars in space and the ship goes by them. Sureshot is listening to the song while traveling at light speed. Bessie and Penny were singing along to the song while Portia and Gwen were annoyed at their singing.
Bessie and Penny: (Singing) for the rubberband man
Bessie: Come on, Guys! Sing along!
Everyone else was listening to the song, but not caring. Call Girl was just mouthing the lyrics. And the song continues playing in the background while they talk.
Toothpick Sally: Have you ever traveled in light speed before?
Sheila: Not until now.
Sharon: Yeah. This is our first time.
Recap Robot: Okay. Well, you'll have to get use to it up here.
Sally: So, what's the space tree like?
Chance Sureshot: It's the a big space station shaped like a tree floating in space. We had to rebuild it after an incident from a while back.
Gwen: What incident?
Recap Robot: The last people who came up here had to face someone named Anti-Pops. He nearly destroyed the entire universe. Luckily, Pops managed to stop him. Sadly, the only way he did it was the fly himself and Anti-Pops to the sun.
Strong Suit: So he committed suicide to save the universe?
Toothpick Sally: Whoa! That's kinda dark in what you said there!
Lynn Sr: Sorry about my daughter.
Rita: Junior, don't say stuff like that next time.
Tom was eating some grapes until Jerry grabs one. Tom hits him with his fist and then Jerry throws a grape at him. The duo start their usual chase scene.
Call Girl: This again?
The Coon: They're always like this.
Tom managed to grab Jerry, who bites him and they pull out big mallets to hit each other with until Spike grabs them.
Spike: Can youse two put your rivalry on hold for once?!
Tom sticks his tongue at Spike before the bulldog pounds him in the head.
Chance Sureshot: Are those your pets?
Rick: Yeah. But the mouse is just there. He's not really our pet. Our cat chases him a lot.
Ginger: Yeah, and they don't get along. Tom and Spike, no fighting!
They instantly got off each other and start hugging each other.
Prince of Darkness: Quit bullshitting! We all saw you fighting!
Spike: What's with the foul language?!
Prince of Darkness: All the kids in our town fucking cuss.
The Archer: It's quite true. Even I cuss a lot.
Spike: Remind me to never go to your town.
Lucy (Peanuts): How long until we get to our location?
Recap Robot: Right about... now.
(Play World Map from Sonic Colors for this part.)
Everyone was in awe when they saw the new and improved Space Tree.
Sally: Wow!
Professor Chaos: This is amazing!
Violet: This place rocks!
The Coon: Kick-ass!
Bessie: This is awesome!
Mary Frances: Now that's what I call a space station.
Toothpick Sally: That's right. We have upgraded defense systems to prevent outsiders from entering, unless they're stowaways.
Patty: Cool.
(Play We Built This City by Starship for the rest of this section and the next section.)
Chance Sureshot: Hang on.
The ship entered the space tree and landed in the parking garage.
Recap Robot: Now get in your domes and put them with the rest of them.
Sally: The rest of them?
Pig-Pen: So there's more domes?
Toothpick Sally: Yup.
Ace Savvy: We should check it out.
Rita: Let's do what the nice people said first.
At the 0:57 mark of the song, after they put their domes with the rest, they notice all the other domes and we're amazed by what they saw.
Sally: Wow! Look at all the other domes!
General Disarray: These domes look so cool.
Royal Flush: You said it. Is this gonna be our home for a while?
Toothpick Sally: Yup. Now let's take you to the colonel.
All: Colonel?
They are now in the colonel's office.
Colonel Rawls: You left these new recruits drifting for how long?!
Chance Sureshot: Uh, maybe 2 days.
Colonel Rawls: 2 days?! If you were on time, maybe they wouldn't have been shot at by those aliens. Real rookie maneuver, Sureshot. Now get down and give me 300, you miserable sack of space puke!
Chance Sureshot: Uh, yes sir.
He gets down and starts doing push-ups.
Colonel Rawls: Ahem, as for the rest of you, welcome to space, I'm Colonel Rawls, insert pleasantries here.
Liane: Hey Colonel. Liane here. I would like to ask you something. What the hell is going on here?!
They are now watching a video.
Male voice: Congrats, new domers. You have been selected to take part in the next frontier in recreation, the SPARK Initiative.
Liane: Spark? What's spark?
Sally: Shh.
Male voice: Our operatives on Earth determined you would be a good fit for this mission. Over the next few months, this space station will be your home, you'll train with the best from around the world, then you'll be sent off on your own to explore pristine space wilderness so that this can become this. After that, you'll go to the [BLEEP] system, where you'll protect [BLEEP] as you arrive at [BLEEP].
Colonel Rawls: (Runs in front of the screen) Uh, that's classified for now, so who's jazzed about this? (Everyone but Liane cheers) I see one girl who isn't jazzed.
Liane: So we're being forced to do this?
Colonel Rawls: Well, this is purely a volunteer mission to benefit mankind.
Liane: Well I don't volunteer. And yes, I do care for mankind!
She leaves the room.
Colonel Rawls: That's different.
Randy: Why can't Liane see that this is gonna be really cool?
Sharon: She's afraid to try something new.
Gerald: This wouldn't be the same without her.
Stephen: We gotta get her on board.
Linda S: Yeah.
Later at the barracks...
Chance Sureshot: And this here's the Barracks. We have more for the rest of you since there are a bunch of you.
Sally: Cool, bunk beds.
The Coon: Mom, check it out cool pillows.
Liane: Those pillows are not cool at all and neither is space.
Sharon: Actually, Liane, I hate to disagree, but living in space is the definition of cool. I mean, I just got goosebumps saying that.
Sheila: Yeah. Plus, the boys...
Call Girl: And girl.
Sheila: ...are glad to be up here.
Liane: But what about school? Our kids still have to go to school.
The Coon: Fuck skewl! I'm staying up here!
Liane: Um, again; we're basically kidnapped and forced to do this.
Randy: What's the matter, Liane? You can have top bunk if you want.
Liane: (Sarcastically) Oh, the top bunk, now I definitely wanna stay in space. (To The Coon) Eric, what about Liza?
The Coon: Liza would be proud. Besides, I know our love will stand the test of time.
He holds up a picture of him and Liza signed "Our love will stand the test of time. Liza" and kisses the photo.
Liane: Well, to the Damien kid, what about that girl Eric gave diarrhea to one time?
The Coon: I thought we weren't mention that anymore.
Prince of Darkness: Ditto.
He Pulls out a photo of him and Jenny signed "Ditto - Jenny".
Liane: I can't believe you people! We were tricked into going to Hollywood! WE LITERALLY GOT BLASTED INTO SPACE AND NEARLY GOT KILLED BY ALIENS!!! WHY CAN'T YOU FUCKING GET IT THROUGH YOUR MINDS?!!!
She storms out.
Professor Chaos: This is gonna be harder than we thought.
Later...
Recap Robot: Thank you all for joining me on this tour. If you look to your left, you'll find Jamaican domers doing a little target practice.
All: Whoa.
Pig-Pen: Mrs. Cartman, did you see how cool that was?
Shermy: Can you believe we get to use these things?
Liane: Yeah, that's not a safety hazard. Plus, all children shouldn't play with guns.
Recap Robot: And in the simulation room, we can program any scenario to prepare for what you might encounter in space.
Towelie: Wow, that's pretty wild, huh, Liane? Any scenario you might encounter. Think of the possibilities.
Liane: The only scenario I want to encounter is me going back to South Park.
They then made it to the birthday room.
Recap Robot: And here is the birthday room. You can have birthday parties here.
Bessie: Wow! I'm gonna celebrate my next birthday in here!
Jerry runs into the room and then Tom starts chasing him. Recap Robot got to them before they started fighting.
Recap Robot: This is a birthday room, not a fighting room.
Tom and Jerry followed him back with the rest.
The Coon: Hey Mom, we should have my next birthday in here.
Liane: But what if they don't have the toys you want up here?
The Coon: I bet all the toys in space are way better than the ones on Earth.
They then approached the gift shop.
Recap Robot: Here is the gift shop.
Bessie: (Sees a Sony Walkman) Wow! I gotta get this. How much money does it cost?
Recap Robot: 20 Space Bucks.
Bessie: Space Bucks?
Recap Robot: You use them to purchase things you want. We used to call them Space Creds, but everyone in the galaxy agreed to call them Space Bucks instead.
Liane: So you can't use Earth dollars here?
Recap Robot: No.
Liane: Unbelievable.
Sharon: Maybe our kids could learn other ways to pay in space.
After several other rooms, they then made it to the food court.
Recap Robot: And finally, this is the food court. Domers and pilots alike come here to hang out and swap stories.
The Coon: Hey, Mom, check it out.
Strong Suit: All you can eat wings.
Liane: Yeah, they had that back on Earth, and they're probably better, too.
Linda S: Mind if I help out in the kitchen?
Recap Robot: Sure. Go ahead.
Linda S: Thanks. (She enters the kitchen of the food court.) I can see myself cooking so many good meals in here.
Chance Sureshot: Here's your new jumpsuits. They got your names on 'em. (Gives everybody their jumpsuits) Pretty cool, right?
Liane: No, not cool.
Chance Sureshot: Harsh.
Liane: You should keep this anyway. I'm not staying.
Colonel Rawls: Cha! You still don't get it. You don't think this mission is important! Well, fine. We don't need you! All that matters is that we have a team that wants to be here!
Gerald: This seems like a pretty important mission. You don't want to experience that?
Randy: Come on, Liane, just stay with us.
Liane: I can't believe you are all fine with this. I mean if this is a peaceful mission, why do we have to practice using weapons, knowing that our children are not allowed to have them? Why did we have to go to Hollywood without knowing that this is a trap?! I had a good life, and then we had to get dragged up here!
Colonel Rawls: No more questions! That's an order!
Liane: Why would I listen to you? I'M A SINGLE MOTHER OF ONE!
Colonel Rawls: WELL, I'M THE COLONEL, WHICH IS ABOUT ONE THOUSAND POSITIONS HIGHER THAN YOU!
The Coon: Damn... He roasted my mom. Nice.
Gwen: Dude, that's your mother!
The Coon: Don't care, bitch.
Portia: Don't call my best friend a bitch!
The Coon: Okay, Beaver Mouth.
Portia: How dare you?!
Colonel Rawls: Are you done?!
Liane: Oh, I'm done! I'M FUCKING DONE WITH ALL OF THIS!!
Colonel Rawls: Then go, then! We can get a pod back to Earth for ya, quitter!
Liane: Sounds great! I'm out!
She angrily leaves.
Colonel Rawls: Shit. I thought for sure that reverse psychology was gonna work.
Human Kite: Hey, man! That was messed up.
The Coon: Yeah! You can't do that to my mom!
Portia: Oh, now you wanna stand up for your mom!
The Coon: Stay out of this, Beaver Faced Bitch!
Portia: I oughta shove my shoe up your fatass!
Colonel Rawls: Stop fighting, and you guys better get Liane onboard!
Toolshed: I think I've got one more idea that can get her to stay.
Liane is walking down the hallway angrily.
Randy: You can't be serious, Liane.
Stephen: You're really gonna give up, now?
Liane: I've been telling you guys, for the past two hours you're not gonna change my mind. As soon as I finish this space panini, I'm out of here. There, I'm done.
The Coon: Well, mom, if you really want to go, I guess we can stop you but... You should at least watch this before you leave. We all put this video together. We think it might change your mind about staying.
Liane: How did you make this?
Call Girl: Don't you remember that really cool editing bay we saw on the tour? There were so many VCRs!
Liane: I know what this is. It's a tape full of sappy memories that are supposed to convince me to stay, show me where I belong. Well, it won't work!
The Coon: No, Mom, Wait!
Human Kite: You're making a mistake!
Liane sees this tape that labeled "For Liane" and closes her eyes. The pods blasts off from Space Tree Station to the Earth and lands on that huge spot where the South Park neighborhood had lifted off into space. The pod door opens as smoke comes out, and Liane coughs as she got out of the pod when...
Reporter 1: Ma'am, ma'am, are you responsible for the neighborhood disappearing?
Liane: No, I...
Reporter 2: How do you plan to reimburse the city for all the damages?
Liane: What? Uh...
Reporter 3: Ma'am, what is space food like? Do you take it orally or...
Liane: Get away from me! (She runs out of the spot where the neighborhood was and goes to the knocks on the door of the school) Anyone in here?!
Mr. Garrison: Mrs. Cartman? Welcome back.
Liane: What's going on here?
Mr. Garrison: You've been gone for 30 hours and you're back. Where's your son?
Liane: He's still in space with the others. Oh my god.
She runs around the town and sees people booing at her for being known as the mother of the person who caused the Tenorman war.
Mr. Marx: My daughter is dead, thanks to the war your son caused to happen!
Mrs. Marx: I will never forgive you!
Mr. Testaburger: My daughter is stuck in space! It's no wonder why she hated your son!
Jimbo: My sister, brother in law, and my niece and nephew are all in space! Why didn't you take them with you and came back here?!
Liane: No! No! No!
(Play She's Out of My Life by Michael Jackson for this section)
Later that night, as Liane has no place to live, she's off to search for a job. She sees a "Help wanted" sign on the windows of KFC. She straightens up her neck tie and walks through the doors. Inside KFC, Liane is cooking a grilled chicken sandwich. Once she's done cooking, the man argues that the sandwich is not completely cooked enough. She angrily grabs the sandwich and rubs it on his face. The female manager fired Liane. As Liane left KFC, she grows mad and throws her down on the ground, and the cop writes something on the ticket and gives it to her. Another job that Liane is searching for is at the grocery store. Liane wrote her name on the paper, but she couldn't remember her address. She wrote a scribbling line on the "Address" line. The store manager couldn't accept her to be on part of the job. Neither does the dock worker nor a hobo manager. Liane was depressed that she couldn't get any jobs to work for home, food, and money. Notice that Liane is becoming older. Somebody threw a newspaper on her face. Liane sees a picture of her friends, her son, and his friends smiling and wearing their uniform, and the headline above the picture says "South Park Crew loves being in space." Liane gasps. She goes to Applebee's and tells the waiter to order some hot wings that she want to eat. The waiter asks a question: "Do you have money to pay the wings?" Liane nervously smiles and shrugs. Two men threw Liane out of Applebee's and dumped her in the garbage. Liane becomes homeless and has a load of things in a shopping cart, and she is becoming old and wrinkly for years. Later that night, Liane went back to the missing South Park spot where the shuttle had landed and started a campfire to keep warm. She sees a "For Liane" tape, and her eyes are watery. Time-lapse on the construction of new buildings around the town as many years have gone by. Later, Liane pushes a shopping cart and the reporter on TV reports that there's going to an alien attack around the earth as the spaceships arrived from outer space. Liane runs fast from the spaceships as she ran inside the TV Store Warehouse. Liane grabs a dusty tape and blows the dust off. Liane was sad about the tape that she is looking. She inserts the tape into the VCR, and the tape plays on TV.
On the TV...
The Coon: Hey, Mom, um, we get why you want to go back to Earth, but I'm not sure we were really upfront about why we wanted you to stay.
Toolshed: It just wouldn't be the same without you.
Randy: I won't be able to keep up with my Tegridy weed without you buying it.
Sharon: And who am Sheila and I gonna hang out with, huh?
Linda S: I've always appreciated your no-nonsense attitude and dedication to your parenting. It's really inspiring.
Liane feels sad about this video as she have tears in her eyes. She wipes her tears off of her eyes.
Charlie Brown: Hey, Mrs. Cartman, I don't know you very well, but I do know you mean a lot of these guys, and I'd like a chance to get to know you better too. You do have the best chance of keeping your son from blowing something up.
The Coon: It's true. (Shows the broken camera to his mom) I already broke the first camera we tried to record this with.
The Archer: We all really look up to you, but also, you're our friend, and we'll miss you, and–
He starts crying as Professor Chaos and General Disarray comfort him. Liane begins to cry as she is still watching the video. Back in the video, The Coon sets up the camera to record altogether as a message.
Gerald: Alright, you get it. We'll miss you so... (Sniffles) don't go, all right?
Stephen: Yeah, Liane. We can't do this without you.
A logo that says "Space Needs You, Liane" pops up and the video ends.
Liane: I made a huge mistake! I SHOULD'VE STAYED IN SPAAAAACE!!! (When suddenly... the spaceships come tear off the roof of the TV Store Warehouse and shoot lasers at her! Liane runs!) AUGH! AAAAUGH! I SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT! I SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT! I SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT!
Liane quickly reaches for the exit, opens the door, and...
Her eyes were closed and she sees the shadowy figures of her friends, their kids and her son.
The Coon: Mom! Are you OK?
Liane: Gasp! You're all here! You're so young! (Hugs her son) So this is what it's like: on the other side.
The Coon: On the other side of the door?
Liane: What? No, I was on Earth... for years.
Call Girl: Actually, you went into the holosimulator.
Flashback
Liane: Well, it won't work!
The Coon: No, Mom, wait!
Human Kite: You're making a mistake!
Liane: I SHOULD'VE STAYED IN SPAAAAACE!!!
She exits the pod.
End of Flashback
It cuts back to reality.
General Disarray: You just walked through the wrong door.
Liane sees two doors. She realized that she did not go through the door to Return to Earth pod on the left. She went through the door to Return to Earth Simulator on the right.
Liane: Oh.
General Disarray: Seems like a huge flaw to have those rooms next to each other.
Liane: My goodness, life on Earth without you guys was pretty terrible. So maybe I don't know what's gonna happen or what everything means, but as long as we're together, that's enough for me.
The Coon: Y'know, Mom, there may be a lot of new stuff going on, but we're all the same. The South Park's still a town, and you're still my mom.
He gives Liane her jumpsuit.
Liane: Thanks, everyone.
Colonel Rawls: Is she in? Sounds like she's in. Welcome to space, everybody!
Randy: Oh hell yeah!
Stephen: Looks like this is the beginning of our lives in space!
Linda S: You said it, Honey.
Professor Chaos: Hey Dad. Is mom gonna get her own jumpsuit?
Stehpen: Yes, but she won't be going on missions with us because she's gonna be in the food court cooking meals for us.
Professor Chaos: Okay. Just making sure.
The next morning...
(Play [Every Time I Turn Around] Back In Love Again by L.T.D. for this section)
Cartman gets up and freshens himself. He then puts on his coon uniform and starts greeting those around him.
The Coon: Sup.
Bessie: Hello Eric.
Shermy: Hey.
The Coon: Space is so awesome.
Human Kite: Hey Coon! We have a new Freedom Pals headquarters!
The Coon: Sweet!
Liane approaches him.
Liane: Eric, I'm sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I just really miss being on Earth and I didn't realize that I had you, your friends and their parents to keep my company. I'll try not to be like that anymore.
The Coon: It's fine.
Liane: So what do you and your friends want from the food court?
The Coon: Get us some pizza, bitch.
Liane: Will do.
She goes to the food court.
Human Kite: Let's check out our headquarters now.
They entered their new headquarters and it was the same as the old one from Tolkien's old house.
The Coon: Sweet!
Call Girl: Looks like I'm gonna be here, right, Coon?
The Coon: Fine. You can stay.
Toolshed: Okay, Guys. Let's begin our lives here in the Space Tree.
Human Kite: You said it, Dude.
Mysterion: Yeah.
Liane enters with pizza.
Liane: Here you go, Kids.
The Coon: Sweet.
Liane: Enjoy your pizza.
She leaves the room and they start eating.
The Coon: Space pizza rocks. I think I'm gonna like it here.
Toolshed: So are we, Dude. So are we.
Stay tuned for episode 4.