Episode 17: Bessie's Big Birthday Bash
(Play I Get Around by The Beach Boys for this section.)
Bessie wakes up and puts her glasses on.
Bessie: What day is it? (She looks at the calendar and it was her birthday.) Today's my birthday! Yay! (She gets up and starts dancing.) Oh yeah! Uh-huh? Who's birthday is it? My birthday! Yeah!
Wendy wakes up.
Wendy: Ugh. It's too early for this crap.
Bessie: Wendy, today is my birthday!
Wendy: Wait what?
Bessie: It's time for everybody in the Space Tree to hear this! (She runs out of the barracks.) HEY EVERYBODY, TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!
Portia and Gwen groaned.
Portia: We don't care.
Gwen: Go back to sleep!
Bessie continues shouting today is my birthday over and over again through the morning.
Later in Rawls' office...
Colonel Rawls: Today is Bessie's birthday. It's her first birthday off Earth, so how do we make it special?
Call Girl: Well, is there something she likes?
Millie (Mighty B): Well, she did mention that she loves My Little Pony. Maybe we can make it a My Little Pony theme birthday.
Portia: That show sucks.
Gwen: Yeah. I do like unicorns, but fuck that show.
The Coon: I don't really know her that much.
Mysterion: Honestly, me neither.
Chance Sureshot: Well, what does she like?
Captain Diabetes: Well, I overheard her saying that she wants a honeybee style party.
The Coon: So do we have to get black and yellow decorations?
Penny: Yeah.
Sally: We also need to get party supplies and a cake.
Colonel Rawls: Well, someone has to go with Bessie and keep her busy while we set up her party.
The Coon: Portia and Gwen can do it.
Portia: What?!
Gwen: Hell no! We're not gonna spend time with her! We hate her!
Mary Frances: Look. I know you hate her, but today is her birthday, so just do it.
Portia: Fine.
Gwen: (Whispers) You're a dead man, Cartman.
They entered the birthday room.
Hilary: I'm so ready for this. My baby girl's all grown up!
Ben: I wonder what kind of cake Bessie is gonna get.
Toothpick Sally: Okay. Rawls says your mission is to set up this birthday party for Bessie and make it perfect.
Lucy: I always make everything perfect.
Shermy: Not everything.
Lucy: What's that supposed to mean?!
Shermy: Nothing.
Recap Robot: And to some of you, you may have to change to your normal clothes.
The Coon: What's wrong with the superhero looks?
Chance Sureshot: Nothing. It's just that it's not appropriate for birthday parties.
Card Counter: Fair point.
Toothpick Sally: And you two. (Tom and Jerry looked at her.) Put your cat and mouse rivalry on hold. We don't need it ruining the party.
Tom and Jerry salute her.
Recap Robot: Okay. Let's set this party up.
Meanwhile, Bessie, Portia and Gwen are flying in a ship in space.
Gwen: Hey Bessie, we are taking you somewhere.
Bessie: Where are we going?
Portia: There's a mall like 2 planets over.
Bessie: Cool.
Gwen flies the ship until they reached the mall.
Gwen: Here it is.
(Play Cars by Gary Numan for the rest of this section.)
Gwen flies the ship towards the parking lot of the space mall. She lands it next to the other parked ships and they got off.
Bessie: Wow! Look how big the space mall is!
Portia: Okay. Wanna do some shopping?
Bessie: Sure! Let's go!
She heads to the mall.
Gwen: How long do we have to do this?
Portia: Unfortunately we have to do it until the party's all set up. But let's go inside.
They are now in the mall, walking around.
Bessie: This mall is amazing.
Gwen: Yeah. Let's hurry up before...
They see the ginger bots with a ginger girl with them.
Portia: Oh no.
Bessie: What?
Gwen: Nothing. Let's avoid them and do our shopping.
Bessie: Okay. Going shopping on my birthday is gonna be amazing.
Female Announcer: Attention Mall Shoppers, thank you for choosing to go space shopping here in the Century Mall in Outer Space. As you shop, we will play some random Earth songs as you shop. Enjoy your experience here in the Century Mall and come back soon if you plan on returning. Thank you and have a nice day!
(Play I'm So Excited by The Pointer Sisters for the rest of this section and the next two.)
The song plays on the speakers.
Bessie: I'm so ready for this birthday.
Portia: Calm down. Let's go shopping first.
Bessie: Okay. Let's do it!
The song continues playing as everyone in the Space Tree are all in the birthday room setting up Bessie's birthday party. Millie puts up a banner that says "Happy Birthday Bessie!" on it. The South Park Kids and the Peanuts Gang put up food and drinks on a table. Tom pours a cup of water on Jerry and laughs. Jerry was angry and threw a pie at Tom. The mouse laughs and the duo attempted to start another fight before Sharon grabbed both of them. They both smiled and are now forced to sweep the floor. The Space Trio continued setting up the party with help from everyone else in the room.
Near the end of the song, Bessie tried on some birthday dresses, but Portia and Gwen gave out looks that said no in each one. The song ends with the trio leaving the clothes store.
Later...
Bessie: I'm having so much fun.
Portia: Well, it's your birthday so...
Ginger Girl: HEY!
Gwen: Damn it!
They turned around and noticed the ginger girl with an angry group of ginger bots.
Ginger Girl: You think you can destroy our milkshake factory and get away with it?!
Portia: Look, you were getting everyone in the Galaxy addicted to it! We had to do something!
Ginger Girl: Ginger bots, GET THEM!
The three honeybee scouts ran off while the ginger bots followed them.
Bessie: Time for some Chase music! (She plays Patsy Cline's Walkin' After Midnight, which plays at the 0:32 mark, on her Zune. She then realized it wasn't chase music and clicks it off.) Sorry. Wrong song.
Gwen: Hurry up before they catch us, you idiot!
(Play Walk The Dinosaur by Was [Not Was] for the rest of this section.)
Bessie plays the song on her Zune while she, Portia and Gwen are being chased by some of Tenorman's minions.
Bessie: There we go.
Portia: Is that even a chase song?!
Gwen: Just come on!
The trio continued running from Tenorman and his army. They ran past a free food stand, they then ran past more people. They continued running and the ran through the food court.
Bessie: I wonder how much the food is?
Portia: Keep running! We don't have time for food!
Gwen: And do not say it's your birthday because our lives are more important!
Ginger Girl: Do not let them get away!
The ginger girl and ginger bots continued to close in and then the trio noticed an elevator.
Gwen: How far can you jump?
Bessie: A bit far. Why?
Portia: Put those skills to use!
At the 0:50 mark, everything is in slow motion as the trio jumped the leap of faith to the open elevator. The elevator closed just as the ginger girl and bots try to go after them.
Ginger Girl: Fuck! They got away!
Ginger Bot: There's another elevator.
Ginger Girl: To the next elevator, and if there is no room, take the stairs!
They took a different elevator, while the trio went back to their ship and flied off and far away from the mall.
Gwen: That was close.
Portia: Yeah.
Bessie plays a song on the Zune.
(Play I Fall to Pieces by Patsy Cline for this part.)
Portia: We are literally on the run from Tenorman's army and you're playing another song?!
Bessie: I just wanted to set the mood for a bit.
Gwen: Okay, but why did you choose Patsy Cline?
Bessie: I just really like her music.
They heard lasers from outside.
Portia: What the hell?!
They noticed some of Tenorman's army in a ship and some ginger bots are outside firing lasers at them.
Bessie: I'll outrun them, Star-Lord style.
She plays another song on her Zune.
(Play Funny Feeling by The Delfonics for the rest of this section.)
Ginger Girl: GET THEM!
The ginger bots fired their lasers as Bessie flies the ship and dodges the lasers.
Gwen: How the hell did they catch up so quickly?!
Ginger Girl: Tenorman added a warp speed button on our ship before he went to Earth to do something!
Portia: Get them away from us!
Gwen: Wait. This ship has lasers, so we can fire at them.
Bessie: Oh yeah. I just remembered.
The lasers on the ship were activated and she starts shooting at them.
Ginger Girl: ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK!
The Ginger Bots continued to shoot at the space tree ship. The space tree ship begins to shoot at the ginger bots, destroying most of them.
Bessie: Is that it?
Gwen: There's more coming!
Portia: Damn it! (She takes over the ship.) I'll destroy these fuckers!
She starts shooting at the remaining ginger bots, destroying them and she shoots at Ginger Girl's ship, which also gets destroyed in the process. She is now in a pod.
Ginger Girl: I will get my revenge! Just you all wait!
She flew away in the pod as the trio of honeybee scouts continued to make their way to the Space Tree and the song ends.
When they returned to the Space Tree, Portia and Gwen entered the birthday room.
Colonel Rawls: Did you distract her long enough?
Portia: Yes.
Lucy: Good. Now get in your hiding positions.
Portia and Gwen went behind a table and Sally turns the lights off.
Dougie: After the party, you girls wanna...
Wendy: Forget it, Dougie.
Red: Yeah. You're gross!
Bessie entered the barracks.
Bessie: Wendy? Penny? Hello? Anyone! (She starts walking around the Space Tree.) Colonel Rawls? Mom? Charlie Brown? Where the heck is everyone? Happy? Ben? I guess I'll check the dance room. (She enters and it was empty.) Did they forget my birthday? I survived being shot at by a bunch of ginger bots and they just forgot my birthday? (She sighs and left the room.) This sucks. First my show gets cancelled and now nobody seems to remember my birthday. I wish my show was rebooted. Maybe I should start a petition to get my show back on the air or maybe I could get my show rebooted. Yeah. It was cancelled back in 2011 and it's 2023. Well, it's probably already 2024 since we're in space in all. I don't know what year it is. In fact, how long have I been up here? (She enters the birthday room and it was all dark.) What is it so dark in here? Hello? Maybe I should find a light switch. Oh, there it is!
She turns the light on and everybody popped out of their hiding spots.
Everyone: SURPRISE!!!
Snoopy blew on a noisemaker.
(Play It's My Party by Leslie Gore for this part.)
Bessie: Oh my god. Wow! This is even better than my last surprise party!
Rita: Did you like the surprise we gave you?
Bessie: Yes I did, Mrs. Loud. This is awesome!
Sally: We even got you a cake!
Butters: It's vanilla.
Colonel Rawls: We hope you enjoy your birthday, kiddo.
Bessie: This is the best birthday party ever! Thanks, Guys!
Mary Frances: Did you enjoy the trip to the Space Mall?
Bessie: I sure did. Thanks, Portia and Gwen!
Portia: Don't mention it.
Gwen: Just enjoy your birthday.
Bessie: Okay. Let's get this party started!
(Play Two Hearts by Phil Collins for the rest of this section.)
Throughout the song, it shows a montage of everybody in the Space Tree celebrating Bessie's birthday party. They played multiple party games. When Bessie was blindfolded, she tries to hit the piñata with a baseball bat, she ended up hitting Dougie instead. Bessie asked if she hit it and Cartman and the rest of the kids said yes and while she was still blindfolded, she beats Dougie senseless with the bat while they laughed at his misery. Mary Frances put an ended to it by putting the piñata in front of Dougie and she hits it and candy was everywhere. Snoopy and Happy started to eat the candy. Tom grabs some candy while Jerry blew a bubble and it popped in Tom's face, which is now covered in gum. Jerry laughed hard and Tom was angry. Tom tried to kill Jerry with a bat before everyone gave them angry stares. The duo smiles and shared the candy. Bessie was blindfolded again and playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey. Instead, she ended up pining it on Dougie, making Cartman, Lucy and the rest of the kids laugh. Bessie uncovered the blindfold and her POV was blurry since she took her glasses off. Ben puts the glasses back on her and she was upset that she didn't get it. She then tried again, but this time, she got it. 3, 4 and 5 did their dance move from a Charlie Brown Christmas and everyone dances with them. They all played beanbag toss and continued to party for the rest of the song. The song ends with everyone singing Happy Birthday.
Everyone: (Singing) And many more
She blows out the candles to her cake and everyone cheered.
Chance Sureshot: So what did you wish for?
Bessie: I wish that I was surrounded by the greatest people in the galaxy.
Millie (Mighty B): Your wish came true.
Bessie: Yup, because you guys are the greatest people in the galaxy!
Lucy: Aw.
Colonel Rawls: Looks like you all completed your mission. Giving Bessie the greatest birthday party in space history!
Lincoln: Looks like she's the first kid to celebrate her birthday in space.
Clyde (Loud House): You said it, Lincoln.
Bessie: Hey. I just realized. My show used to air on the same network as yours.
Lincoln: Yeah. I remember that. How was it?
Bessie: Good until it got cancelled. We've been doing our usually activities since then.
Lana: Glad to see that you're still doing okay since your show got cancelled. Sucks that it got cancelled.
Bessie: Yeah. Anyways, let's continue partying.
Penny: Yeah.
Sally: Let's sing some Karaoke!
Violet: But what song?
Lucy (Peanuts): I know!
She plays Happy Birthday on Stevie Wonder on the jukebox. Feel free to play that song for the rest of the section if you want.
Sally: This song is for the birthday girl: Bessie Higgenbottom!
Bessie smiles as Lucy, Violet and Sally begin to sing.
Lucy (Peanuts): (Singing) You know it doesn't make much sense
Violet: (Singing)There ought to be a law against
Sally: (Singing) Anyone who takes offense
Patty and Frieda join in and started singing.
Patty and Frieda: (Singing) At a day in your celebration
All Five: (Singing) Cause we all know in our minds thag there ought to be a time that we can set aside to show just how much we love you and I'm sure you would agree it couldn't fit more perfectly than to have a world party on the day you came to be
Everyone in the Room (Except for Damien, who refuses to sing, but claps along to the beat): (Singing) Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday
Bessie smiles as everybody sings to her on her amazing day.
Later that night...
(Play You're My Best Friend by Queen for the rest of this chapter.)
Bessie looks out the window of the Space Tree. Penny approached her.
Penny: I had so much fun.
Bessie: Me too.
Penny: Happy Birthday, Bessie.
Bessie: Thanks, Pen. I love having birthdays. It's one of the best things in the universe.
Penny: Yeah. Let's see if there's any cake leftover.
Bessie: Okay.
The duo went back to the birthday room as a star shines from outside the Space Tree.
Stay tuned for episode 18.