Chapter 4

After

Hokushin was nothing if not efficient. He swept through the halls of Urameshi's drafty, echoing tower with utmost speed, and Nozumi got the distinct impression that were it not for Sueko and herself upon his heels, he'd have moved faster still. Their route took them down flight after flight of steps, and Sueko bobbed at Nozumi's side, her head dipping close as she whispered, "Was that…?"

The query didn't require finishing. Nozumi knew precisely what question had been looping through her sister's mind ever since Hiei and his companions had entered the throne room. Was it him? Hiei? After all these years?

"Yes," she answered simply.

Hokushin reached the end of a staircase and turned down a hall, ending their descent at last, but Sueko paused on the last step, staring at Nozumi.

"Are we pretending it's not?" she asked.

"No."

"But you're not screaming or crying or fucking him, so—"

Nozumi seized Sueko's wrist, her talons slipping between her sister's silken scales and biting into the flesh beneath. "Don't," she said. Not now, she might've added, though in truth, she meant, Not ever.

Even if Nozumi had wanted to, she didn't know how to articulate to Sueko how she felt about Hiei. Her sister had never understood their relationship, and Nozumi was quite certain Sueko wouldn't understand a stitch of her pain now. In truth, she wasn't sure anyone would.

Except perhaps Urameshi's human friend, though even he didn't know it yet.

How could she ever explain that the hurt in her chest was too deep for tears or screams. It was an emotion that lived on a different plane from sadness and anger. It existed in her bones, in her heartbeat, in the quiet spaces between her thoughts.

Time had muffled it. Turned it gentle. Made it easier to box away and ignore.

But seeing him in that throne room had unmoored something inside her, and she didn't know how to anchor it back down. It was rising in her chest, choking up her throat, and she couldn't bear Sueko's distaste any more now than she could years ago.

Dropping Sueko's wrist, Nozumi rounded the corner and discovered Hokushin unlocking a massive metal door. Its steel expanse had to be at least ten feet high and another six feet across, but as the lock's mechanisms tumbled into place, Hokusho swept the door open as easily as if it were made of paper. Beyond it, Nozumi spotted the flash of precious metals and the sheen of jewels—the famous hoard of the demon king Raizen.

"Wait there," Hokushin instructed before slipping within and drawing the door closed once more.

Behind Nozumi, Sueko stomped down the final step. "Ouch," she announced, rubbing her wrist dramatically.

Despite everything, Nozumi snorted. "I did not hurt you that bad."

"Oh? And you'd know that how?"

"Because we're not children anymore, Ko." She leaned back against the stone wall. "Also, you're massaging the wrong wrist."

Sueko blinked in surprise, holding out both her wrists. Sure enough, a tiny patch of red revealed where Nozumi's talons had nicked her. Quickly, Sueko flapped her hands, brushing that detail aside, and rounded on Nozumi. "So we're just going to do this, then?" she asked. "Track down the girl? Despite him?"

"You can say his name," Nozumi said.

"I don't want to."

"Ah." Of course. Classic Sueko. At least some things remained forever the same. Nozumi sighed and returned to Sueko's question. "We were hired to do a job. I plan to do that job. Simple as that. He doesn't factor into it."

"Okay…" Sueko said, drawing the word out, "but it's a job you can't do."

"They didn't accept that answer."

Sueko rolled her eyes. "Don't give me that crap. Since when do you care what clients say? You aren't doing it because Urameshi wouldn't accept your refusal. You're doing it for him."

"Sueko—"

"Just admit it."

"Enough," Nozumi bit out, all too aware of Sueko's rising volume and Hokushin's close proximity. The sharp edge of her tone seemed to bite into Sueko's hide, and her sister wilted, growing quiet as Nozumi plowed onward doggedly. "You spent years hating him. This should be good news. For once, our opinions on him align. I'm not here for him any more than you are."

Sueko hesitated, all her fire burned down to embers. "But," she murmured, "he made you happy." It was nearly a question, plaintive and unsure, almost desperate in its confusion.

Nozumi could only shake her head. "I'm not sure that's true."

With a metallic groan, the treasury door swung outward, and Hokushin emerged, a small chest in his arms. Nozumi swallowed roughly, forcing her heart out of her throat, and stared at the chest, trying in vain to fathom the quantity of gold necessary to warrant such a coffer. Sueko's gaze burned into her cheek, but Nozumi kept her attention on Hokushin, matching him stride for stride as he started back up the stairs.

This job had begun the moment she'd stepped into the throne room. Best to act as if she were always on the clock, from now until the moment she found Yukina—or at least until she confirmed she never would.

Hokushin showed them to a suite on the floor beneath that of the throne room, high up in the belly of the tower. Its windows—bereft of glass—looked out upon the vast plains, the golden land stretching away to the horizon uninterrupted. Figures moved on the ground far, far below, as diminutive as ants. The height twisted Nozumi's stomach, and she turned her back on the windows.

As she dropped her belongings at the foot of the bed, Hokushin placed the coffer upon a stone table at the room's center and flipped open its lid. Gold coins glistened within, a handful tumbling from their precarious positions and clinking onto the tabletop.

"Half your payment, as promised," Hokushin said.

It was… too much. An unfathomable amount of money. More than she'd ever possessed. And somehow, it was only half of what they planned to pay her.

She drew in a steadying breath and asked, "What happens if I don't find her?"

Hokushin closed the chest's lid and stepped back from the table, folding his hands behind his back. "We trust that you will."

"But if I don't?"

"Nozumi," Sueko warned softly.

Nozumi ignored her. "If I can't find her, if tracking her is beyond my capabilities, what happens to this payment then?"

"Why don't we cross that bridge if we come to it?" Hokushin said with a gentleness that irked her endlessly. He wasn't hearing her any more than his master had. The lot living in this forsaken tower were all equipped with the same inability to listen.

"Fine," she said, but it wasn't. This money wasn't hers. If the apparition Urameshi hoped to find was gone for the reasons Nozumi feared she was, Nozumi would never find her, and she knew better than to think Urameshi would let her walk away with so much gold unearned. The payment for coming here, she would keep, but the rest? Nothing but expensive decoration in a room that wasn't hers.

"Now," Hokushin said, "If you'd please, I'd like to accompany you to the dining hall. You've traveled a great distance, and I'm sure you're in need of a meal. We'd be honored if you'd dine with us this evening."

Were he not right about her hunger, she'd have turned him away. As it was, she considered asking for their meals to be delivered to their room, but she knew better than to turn down an offer to eat alongside a former demon lord. "It would be our pleasure."

"Might we have a moment to clean up?" Sueko interjected. She gestured at her dusty travel clothes. "I could use a quick rinse and some new attire if I'm to eat with your lord."

"Of course. I'll wait in the hall."

He excused himself with a bow, and Nozumi turned to Sueko, shaking her head. "You play the commoner well," she said flatly.

"Play?" Sueko countered. "I'm hardly playing. We are the very definition of commoner to these people. A former king of Tourin. Two former seconds to the kings of Alaric and Gandara. Ex-Spirit Detectives, every last one of them. The least I can do is not look like I've rolled in mud if that's the kind of company we'll be keeping."

Fair enough. Nozumi couldn't argue with that line of logic.

"You first, then," she said, gesturing to a sliding door that must obscure the bathroom.

Sueko didn't hesitate, and Nozumi soon heard the telltale sounds of a bath being drawn. Over the running water, Sueko called, "Pick me out an outfit, would you?"

Nozumi sighed, turning to their bags. She'd do as Sueko asked, and she'd clean herself up, too, but she knew better than to think she'd make any sort of charming impression at this dinner. Though it had been mere hours, she felt days closer to her molt now than she had this morning, weary at the edges and rapidly fraying apart.

A mirror set on the wall confirmed her fears. She moved to stand before it and stared at the phantom looking back at her. Eyes dark with shadows. Scales the dull color of dirt. Hair limp and matted. Water and soap could only achieve so much, and she hadn't packed for stately dinners with Urameshi's ilk. No, she'd packed for tracking, for long, dirty days on the road, for life at the edges of demon civilization. That's where she belonged. That's where she wanted to be.

But to get there, she had to survive this first.

So survive it she would.

The dining hall proved to be gargantuan, vaster than even the throne room, easily the largest chamber Nozumi had ever entered. As with the rest of Urameshi's tower, it wasn't particularly grand—its decorative motifs were too straightforward for that, more powerful than stately—but she suspected an entire army could've dined within these walls.

A single table stood at the center of the hall. It was already occupied, Urameshi and his companions arranged at one end, but half a dozen seats remained open, and Hokushin swept Nozumi and Sueko toward it like sheep in need of herding. Bowls of steaming broth sat before the men, though only Urameshi was eating with any gusto.

The human acknowledged them first. He couldn't have been the only one aware of their presence—Sueko was putting off too much false energy for that—but it appeared his demon allies had already deemed the two of them unworthy of notice.

Unsurprising.

Nozumi dipped her head in greeting as the human scrambled to his feet and pulled out a chair for her. She debated not taking it, eager to keep whatever space she could between herself and Hiei, but there was such disarming charm in the human's bumbling kindness that she couldn't bear to turn him down. As she settled into the carved seat, he rubbed the back of his head and smiled sheepishly, dimples pocking his cheeks. "Gotta admit," he said, "I was kinda worried you might've bolted already. Thanks for sticking around."

Across the table, Kurama stood and offered a chair to Sueko. She perched happily upon its cushion, the beads sewn into the deep purple of her tunic catching the firelight from candles overhead elegantly. Kurama returned to his seat, his movements as fluid as supple silk

At the head of the table, Urameshi set his chopsticks atop his bowl with a clatter. "She's not going anywhere," he said, his words garbled as he slurped down a mouthful of noodles. "Not until we find Yukina."

Perhaps that was why Hokushin had not left their side since they'd arrived. Perhaps Urameshi suspected Nozumi might pocket his coin and disappear into the night.

Another thoroughly unsurprising turn of events.

"I promised I would try," Nozumi said, meeting the human's beseeching gaze. "I will keep that promise, I assure you." Whether her efforts would yield results she could not say. But she would try. That would have to be enough.

"I'm holding you to that," Urameshi said, then his focus shifted past Sueko's shoulder to where Hokushin remained, still as carved stone. "Oy, Hokushin. I made enough ramen for everyone. Grab three more bowls, would ya?"

Nozumi blinked at him, nonplussed. Urameshi had cooked their dinner?

Unruffled, as if his lord prepping meals was a frequent affair, Hokushin nodded assent and slipped away. Even his near silent footsteps echoed in the cavernous hall.

Urameshi clapped his hands, drawing all eyes back to himself. "Right. Introduction time. You know me, I guess, since you answered the summons and all, but just to make sure—name's Yusuke. That dumbass—" he jerked a thumb at the human "—is Kuwabara." Another flick of his wrist preceded: "The pretty boy is Kurama." Finally, a thrust of his chin indicated the space to his right, where Nozumi refused to look, as if the chair was occupied by a black hole that might suck her in and never let her go. "And the short stack is Hiei." Satisfied, Urameshi leaned back in his chair and raised his eyebrows, as if to say, Your turn.

Nozumi was quite certain Hokushin had said her name during their negotiations, but she was running out of fight for the day and right then, all her focus was on keeping her eyes anywhere but Hiei, so she answered without a trace of snark. "I'm Nozumi. This is my sister Sueko."

Sueko raised taloned fingers in a dainty wave. Power oozed off her in dripping waves, eddying around the table, and Nozumi regretted not telling her to drop the illusion. She could barely feel anyone else's energy. After all, if one was as strong as Urameshi, there was no need to prove it. Everyone already knew.

Apparently convinced he'd completed his hosting duties, Urameshi grabbed his chopsticks once more and tucked in, slurping down a mouthful.

Across the table, Kurama studied Nozumi. "You mentioned you require supplies. Is there anything else you need in order to get started?"

Down to business already, huh?

So be it.

Nozumi suspected there was more he wished to ask, likely starting with how, precisely, she planned to track the missing girl, but she didn't waste energy fretting about that. Not yet, anyway. "Is there more you can tell me about this Yukina? Who was— Forgive me. Who is she to all of you?"

She couldn't use past tense. No matter what she believed.

They were certain Yukina would return to them. That she wanted to return to them. Which meant they thought their bonds were strong. Whole.

Unbroken.

Kurama's emerald gaze narrowed a degree, and Nozumi was certain he wouldn't overlook her change in tense, but the human was not so preoccupied with her word choice. "She's my fiancé," he said, repeating the foreign word he'd used earlier.

Nozumi wet her dry lips. "What is that?"

He startled. "Oh. Right. I forget, sometimes, how much of Human World's culture Yukina adopted." He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, then glanced around at his companions. "Is there any equivalent to engagement in Demon World?"

Urameshi shrugged. "Beats me."

Kurama cleared his throat. "In all ways that matter, demons form romantic partnerships comparable to human marriage. There's no ring or period of engagement, but the same promise of faithfulness is made in both worlds."

Sueko frowned, her brow stitching together. "You're speaking of courtship?"

He waffled a hand back and forth. "Not quite. There's a phase in human relationships between courtship and lifetime commitment, in which a couple is engaged to be married but has not yet exchanged vows. That is the stage Kuwabara and Yukina had reached."

Beneath the table, Nozumi's talons found the loose scale on the underside of her wrist. She twisted it, grounding herself in the spark of pain that shot up her underarm, letting the sting beat back the hurt in her heart. For just a moment, she let her willpower bend, and her gaze slipped to Kurama's left. There Hiei sat, immutable as stone, his crimson eyes alert and unflinching as they met hers.

Her scale tore free of her wrist, but even that pain was not enough to distract her from the searing heat of his attention.

Courtship. Faithfulness. Commitment.

What cruel, cruel daggers Kurama had plunged into her heart.

Clattering dishware announced Hokushin's return. Deftly, he set a bowl before Nozumi, another before Sueko, and a third before an empty seat for himself. The ramen's aroma was perfection, all umami and heavenly decadence, but as Nozumi tore her gaze from Hiei's, she realized it would taste no better than ash upon her tongue.

Ignoring a bead of blood that rolled down her wrist and slipped into her sleeve, she forced her fingers to curl around her chopsticks. For a moment, she sat motionless, chopsticks poised above the broth, then she turned to the human—Kuwabara, Urameshi had called him—and said, "I'm sorry. I know what you're going through." She did not look at Hiei. She could not look at Hiei. "I've been in your shoes, so trust me when I say I'll do everything I can to find her. I hope I succeed."

And she did.

For his sake, she truly did.

Hours later, lying beside Sueko in the dark of their shared bed, exhausted by the endless trials of the day, Nozumi admitted the truth that had escaped her outside the treasury earlier. "I took this job for the human. Because he needs to know where she went." Nozumi closed her eyes, sealing herself into absolute isolation. "Because I know what that feels like."

Sueko rolled over, her long limbs tangling in the sheets. Beneath the covers, her fingers found Nozumi's. Their hands laced together like puzzle pieces, a matching set, Sueko's palm as complementary to Nozumi's as her own had ever been.

"You knew where he went, though," Sueko whispered. "Didn't you?"

"I suspected to whom he went. But it was more than twenty years before I knew for sure."

Quiet filled the space between them. Through the wall, the thump of footsteps indicated the human prepping for bed, thudding around his room like the plodding beast he was. Nozumi didn't allow herself to imagine the room beyond his, where Hiei had slipped after their evening meal. As far as she was concerned, its innards were a void—a hollow, empty pit with a bottom as soulless as oblivion.

Into the silent, shadowy dark, Sueko whispered. "I still hate him, you know."

Just as softly, Nozumi answered, "I know. I do, too."

Sueko squeezed Nozumi's fingers and held tight—for one second, then five, then twenty. Until at last her grip went slack, her breath petering into the quiet patterns of sleep. Nozumi lay awake long after, turning that moment over in her head, contemplating the lie she'd told her sister—the lie she'd told herself for years.

Hate was such a strong, wicked emotion. Truth be told, few in her life had ever evoked true hatred in her. The Black Brotherhood. Their fiendish leader Risako. And… Hiei? Did he have a place on that list?

Eternities later, when sleep at last claimed her, she still hadn't worked out the answer.

AN: I'm away celebrating a bachelor/ette weekend with friends, so I haven't had an opportunity to proofread this chapter the way I normally would. Hopefully there aren't any glaring errors! Big thanks to folks who read last week!