Well, here we are. Back to chapter one! Hope everyone has enjoyed the ride so far! Now buckle up, this is an angsty one...
KEEPING SECRETS CHAPTER 20: A SIMPLE MISTAKE
"Huh? No way am I riding in one of those moving death traps! We could just teleport back! What happened to avoiding transportation and people?"
Zeref sighed at Natsu's stubbornness. "Natsu, this isn't about what we want to do... this is about playing a part. We won, the war is over, and thus, patriotism is at an all-time high. You, and I, as well as all the other soldiers... even Jackal... we're heroes, in everyday peoples' eyes. So, we sit in the military vehicles with the other soldiers, smile and wave as we pass through the towns on the way back to the capital as the people cheer... it's actually kinda fun. I thought you would like it, honestly."
Natsu snorted. "I can have fun doing that while I walk. I don't see a point in making myself miserable by getting vehicles involved. No way is Irene on board with this either."
"Irene's staying here to help organize rebuilding efforts and help reestablish the government. But if you really want it that way, suit yourself." Zeref said, shrugging.
Natsu later wished he had just put up with the discomfort, even if they were taking the long way back to Vistarion, and it would take three whole days.
Or lent Zeref his scarf for the whole trip.
But he had no way of knowing what was waiting on them when they got back to the capital.
The first day went fine. Natsu, and Jackal, who'd faithfully offered to walk with his 'boss', kept up with the military convoy as they passed through towns on the way home, smiling and waving at the cheering crowds. It was fun, and Natsu was happy to see the relief on everyone's faces, especially in the towns they passed through in Devereaux, that the conflict was resolved, and Ashford and his people were behind bars.
Day two was when the big problem happened. Their convoy had stopped for the night and made camp. One second Natsu remembered laughing and talking with his brother and the others, and the next, Jackal was standing over him yelling something.
"... boss! Come on! WAKE UP!"
Natsu shot up, Jackal's voice reverberating through his ears. "I'm up, jeez, what-" As he got up and looked around, Natsu's eyes widened, finding the campsite empty of everyone and everything but him and Jackal. "What happened? Where is everyone?"
"They left us behind! How could they?!" Jackal yelled dramatically.
Natsu scowled, and pulled out his communication lacrima, to find it was 13:00... he slept that long?!
He called Zeref, who surprisingly picked up very quickly. "Yes?" Natsu didn't miss the amusement in his brother's voice.
"What gives? You think it's funny just leavin us here?" Natsu shouted into his lacrima.
"Calm down, little brother." Zeref said. "We tried to get both of you up before you left. Even drove one of the big trucks up to where you guys were sleeping and honked. But neither of you budged. Guess trying to keep up with us all day yesterday took a lot more out of you both than you thought it would. Wanting to respect your choice not to ride in vehicles, we had no choice but to leave... but it's a straight shot, you'll catch up to us in no time!"
Natsu scowled, and grumbled into the lacrima, "What time did you leave?"
"Hmmmmm... about 09:00, I think?"
"WHAT?!" Natsu yelled, the time he'd have to make up shocking him. "How are we supposed to catch up to you now?"
"Well, we slow down when we're passing through towns... I'm sure with the shape you and Jackal are in it'll take you no time! See you soon, little brother!" Zeref said happily before ending the call.
Natsu fumed and growled at his brother's stupid cheeriness. He wasn't convinced Zeref had tried to wake him up at all, and partially thought this was all just a prank to pick at him for insisting on walking.
Well, two could play at that game.
"That didn't sound good." Jackal said. "So how far away are they?"
Natsu smirked. "Who cares? We're not catching back up with them... nah, he wants to make fun of us so much for walking, we'll show him! We'll beat him back to Vistarion. Come on Jackal, let's go!" He began rapidly packing his backpack.
"Hell yeah! Right behind you, boss!"
After running down the road for several miles, Jackal and Natsu found a small store, and in said store, found a map. Natsu devised a route that would have them beating Zeref home 'by a long shot!': while his brother's convoy was heading another 75 miles north to cross through the Griffin Canyon, a massive break in the Waalwijk Mountains, named for the creatures who supposedly lived there, Natsu and Jackal would cross the mountains directly... and with the speed he and Zeref had crossed the mountains last time, that should put them in Vistarion twelve hours faster than Zeref. It was a good plan...
Until an eavesdropping old man told them they should cross underneath the mountains in the old Newark Silver Mine, as it would 'cut at least another twelve hours from their trip!' Excitement multiplying, Jackal and Natsu made for the mine... before the old man's son, when he found out what his elderly father had told the two travelers, could stop them, as the mine's main tunnels through the mountain had caved in years ago, and the only way to the other side was through a maze of auxiliary tunnels...
Which, after all was said and done, added about twelve hours to their trip. None the wiser, after Natsu's nose led them to the other side, despite Jackal's insistence he could clear the rubble without caving the whole mountain in on them, the two briskly made their way back across the Avesta desert and to Vistarion... only to find the celebration had happened without them.
"That's the last time I listen to someone else's advice on directions..." Natsu grumbled as they walked through Vistarion's streets, as the crowds were going back to their day-to-day business. A few passing pedestrians stopped and cheered for Jackal and Natsu regardless, which warmed their spirits a little.
"Eh, it sucks we lost the race, boss. But hey, at least that Ashford guy is toast, right? And now, we can go relax back at the palace a bit before we set off for Ishgar and get His Majesty cured!"
Natsu smiled at Jackal's optimism. "Yeah, you're right. Man, guess Zeref's mopey-ness is rubbing off on me." They both laughed as they walked up to the palace gates, which swung open after the guardsman saw them. Natsu exhaled deeply, realizing how exhausted he was from putting down the rebellion. He was happy all the horrors of war were behind them now. With a big smile on his face, he said, "Man, it's good to be home."
Upon entering the palace, Natsu and Jackal found several of the Twelve- Dimaria, Invel, and August- plus Yajeel, gathered in a circle, clearly discussing something.
"Yo, guys, we're back! Did you miss-"
However, as they turned to Natsu, it was impossible to miss the looks of alarm and distress on their faces. "Uh... did something happen?"
Invel stepped forward. "Natsu, when Master Makarov disbanded Fairy Tail, he didn't give you an inkling of a reason, correct?"
Natsu was a bit taken aback by both Invel's lack of formal, or really any type of greeting, as well as his question. The two couldn't be unrelated. "Uhhh... no, not that I read in the intelligence reports, anyway... I wasn't there when he announced it. Why?"
August sighed. "It seems, your guild master was afraid of a war... with us. He came here several months after you left, hoping to negotiate on behalf of Fiore."
Natsu's eyes were as wide as saucers. "Wait... what?! Gramps is here?!"
"Oh, so that old geezer was your guild master? That's neat!" Dimaria said with a smile. Her smile slipped away, however, when she asked, "But wait, why did His Majesty get such a creepy look on his face when you introduced him, Yajeel?"
Natsu did not like the sound of that.
"I don't know, Dimaria... Master Makarov seemed quite tense during their introduction as well-"
"Yajeel, where are they?" Natsu hastily interjected.
"Oh, they went to chat in the rooftop gardens. Prince Natsu, I-"
Natsu was already bolting down the hallway, however. "Thanks! I'll be back!"
As he raced up the stairs towards the gardens, Natsu had quite a few questions running through his mind. Why was Gramps afraid of war with Alvarez? Why didn't anyone tell me he was here? Why did Zeref take him up here to talk- alone? He hoped and prayed Zeref was just explaining things to Makarov to make it less awkward for Natsu.
As he got closer to the door to the gardens, his ears picked up his brother's and his guild master's voices talking. And his blood ran cold he realized what Zeref was doing.
"... will be a one-sided annihilation." He heard Zeref say.
What?
He heard Makarov scream in pain.
NO!
"That said, it would be wrong of me not to offer you my gratitude before I see you off. Sincerely, Makarov, thank you. Thank you for raising Natsu for me."
ZEREF, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
"For that I will end your life quickly and painlessly. I'll even deliver your body to Natsu. Heh, he'll be so furious."
DAMN RIGHT I WILL BE!
"He might even kill me."
Natsu lost his footing. So that's what it was. Two days... we've only been apart two days, and he's already saying shit like this again?!
"Can I deliver a message to him for you? Any last words or such?"
Stop it, brother! Hang on Gramps, I'm almost there-
"You...you hideous soul! You demon!" He heard Makarov snarl. It would have hurt to hear those words directed towards Zeref from Makarov if not for the intense rage Natsu felt burning in him at the moment.
He heard Zeref chuckle, and then say, "Close, old man. But my name, 'Spriggan' is much closer to 'hideous fairy'." The magic pressure in the air intensified.
I have to make it! Almost there...
And then suddenly dropped.
Natsu skidded to a halt. Was he too late? No... he was picking up another scent. It was familiar, but he couldn't place it right away. Then the new scent, as well as Makarov's disappeared. And then reappeared again, but this time, they were further away. This continued as Natsu finally realized who the scent was- DORANMEST! Or whatever his name is! He must have gotten to Makarov before Zeref could completely cast his spell.
He sighed in relief, and then made for the doors as he heard his brother nonchalantly say, "Oh well. See you at the slaughter, Makarov."
The doors flew open, and Natsu caught his breath before he yelled at the top of his lungs, "WHAT. THE. HELL. WAS. THAT?!"
Natsu held his aching head as he watched his unconscious brother breathe peacefully, for the moment. He felt an intense feeling of dread rise up in him. Zeref... just tried to kill Gramps. Why? And what am I gonna do about reforming the guild now?
He looked up as the doors to the garden flew open again and he saw Invel and August running towards him. Their eyes widened as they took in the scene.
"W-what happened?! Why is His Majesty unconscious?! Where is Master Makarov?!" Invel exclaimed.
Natsu scowled as he pushed himself to his feet. "By the time I got to where I could hear them... Zeref was promising Gramps a 'one sided annihilation', while casting some death spell on him, no less. Before he could finish, though, another of our former guildmates- Mest, or Doranbolt, or whatever his name is- teleported him away." His scowl deepened. "As for why he's unconscious, he went on a crazy rant after I showed up and then lost control when I tried to reason with him. I headbutted him to stop his magic from spreading."
Invel and August listened intently, faces tense. Finally, when Natsu had finished explaining, Invel nodded slowly. "I see. This is most certainly...unfortunate." Invel's features hardened. "Seems war with Ishgar is imminent, after all."
Natsu's gaze snapped to Invel and he yelled, "No! We can still salvage this- let me go after Gramps, I'll talk to them! I just need to catch up and get them to calm down-"
"Someone might want to go stop Ajeel, then." Zeref's quiet, weak voice said. All three of them looked at the emperor at once, seeing he had apparently regained consciousness.
"What? Why? What's Ajeel doing?" Natsu said, voice slightly frantic.
Zeref pushed himself to his feet and sighed. "I... may have taken Invel's advice, learned about my communication lacrima and pre-typed a message to send to Ajeel a few minutes after I started speaking with Makarov... that our honored guest was actually an agent of an Ishgarian terrorist organization who had found a way to destroy me..."
Natsu looked at him incredulously before he screamed, "WHHHHATTT?!" He frantically pulled his lacrima out and dialed Ajeel, only for the lacrima to ring several times, before Natsu had a loud boom in the distance. Looking to the east, he saw a wall of sand rolling through the desert. "No..." He said, voice breaking.
"I will stop Ajeel," August declared solemnly. "And bring Makarov back as well, if I can." With that, the Spriggan Twelve's leader vanished, teleporting away himself.
Invel, Zeref, and Natsu stood in silence for a moment, before Natsu eventually broke it with a hushed, yet weighted voice- "Why?"
After a moment, Zeref quietly replied. "I don't know." As Natsu spun on Zeref, eyes full of rage, he was met with Zeref's tear-soaked face. "I don't- one minute, I was looking forward to going with you to Ishgar, seeing our old home again... and the next, I was standing face to face with Makarov, wondering what to say. I knew he recognized me, and I didn't want to mess things up, but then I thought... 'well, I could just kill him. That way Natsu would kill me. It'd be simpler that way.'" Zeref's tears continued to flow as he choked the words out to Natsu.
Natsu's rage subsided, slightly. "So do you want to be cured, or do you want to die?"
"I want to be cured... I want to have a life with you, with Mavis, and... no, I want to die. I have destroyed too much to ever deserve to be happy. It's for the best, Natsu. And for that, you will have to die t- no! I don't want you to die! Which means I need to live- aahhhhh I don't know!"
Natsu watched with sorrow in his eyes as the curse of contradiction laid waste to his brother's mind.
Invel, who had been silent to this point, said, "I think your scarf is at its limit, Natsu." He stepped next to the dragon slayer, looking at him seriously. "What you're witnessing now... from what I understand, this happened much more frequently before you came back into His Majesty's life. I know the timing could not be worse... but he has done remarkably well, up to this point."
Natsu sighed. "No, you're right, Invel. I think... I had forgotten how awful this curse truly is. Or maybe I never knew to begin with. It's just... I mean, I knew we needed to find a cure, but things were... good. So good this past year... I think I got complacent with it. That's my mistake." Sighing again, he said, "Let's just hope August can convince Gramps to come back and I can straighten all this out-"
As if on cue, August reappeared in front of them, holding a bewildered Ajeel by the back of his shirt. "Hey, what gives, Your Majesty?! You told me-" His eyes landed on Natsu, and his tone changed, "Natsu! Look man, I'm sorry I didn't know-"
"Tell me what happened! Where's Gramps?" His eyes widened for a moment. "Don't tell me-"
"No." August said, releasing Ajeel. "Makarov escaped unharmed, despite Ajeel's rather inspired pursuit. I didn't know Fairy Tail had an airship in their possession."
Natsu looked very confused. "We don't- er, didn't? But what do you mean? The guild's disbanded-"
"Not anymore, evidently." August said, a hint of sorrow in his voice. "As I set out to retrieve Ajeel, I saw, in addition to your guild master and that Mest Gryder fellow... Irene's daughter, the Heartfilia girl, two cat like creatures, exceeds I believe you call them? One was blue and one was white. Then there was the sky dragon slayer and the ice demon slayer... their names escape me at the moment. It looked like Ajeel had them cornered til the airship showed up... I actually saved our sandy friend here from being disintegrated by a powerful blast of lightning magic- isn't that what Makarov's grandson uses?" August sighed deeply. "I'm sure intelligence has a report on the situation, but I haven't read it yet... but the airship. It was blue, and white, with a horse's head at its front. Does that sound familiar?"
"The Christina... It belongs to Blue Pegasus. Another guild that was friends of ours'..." Natsu sat down, head in his hands. "How am I going to explain this..."
August looked down, and sadly said, "I'm afraid... it may be too late for explanations"
Natsu looked up. "What do you mean?"
Invel sighed, his voice weary. "I believe what August is saying is if it had just been Fairy Tail members... if we could have gotten to Makarov and explained things, it'd be one thing for him to keep His Majesty's identity a secret, or at least confined to your guild... but now that we know another guild is involved, the information becomes harder to control... and with how things ended, it is undoubtable that they'll go straight to the Magic Council and Fiorian government once they return to Ishgar, reveal that Emperor Spriggan is the black wizard Zeref, and begin preparing for war."
Natsu looked like he had been hit by a train. After all they had just suffered through, they were going back to war? With Ishgar? With Fiore? With Fairy Tail? "...W-w-war?" He clenched his fists. "NO! NO! NO!" He screamed as tears flowed down his face. "This can't be... this can't be happening." He choked out, voice breaking.
"Natsu..." Came Zeref's quiet voice. Natsu looked over at his brother, who was looking back at him with sad eyes. "You... need to go. Back to Ishgar. Back to Fairy Tail, as soon as you can."
Natsu's eyes widened. He could hardly believe his ears. "What? You... don't even want me to stay?"
Zeref's eyes flashed red, and his anger seemed to overtake him as he yelled, "OF COURSE I WANT YOU TO STAY!" Eyes shifting back to black, his newfound energy seemed to instantly deflate, as he continued, much quieter, "But I've ruined any chance of that happening too."
"What do you mean by that, Your Majesty? Natsu's our prince, you can't just tell him to hit the road now!" Ajeel, who Natsu forgot was still there, declared.
"As strange as it might sound, I agree with Ajeel." Invel said. "The prince abandoning the empire right before a major conflict, and defecting to the opposing side, no less... it would be a disaster. Morale would sink- we'd have no choice but to claim he was kidnapped by Ishgarian terrorists... which would prompt a boost to our soldiers' fighting spirit, for sure... but it could make the war even bloodier."
Natsu couldn't believe his ears. There was no way they were having this conversation right now...
"I believe I have quite thoroughly complicated things then... I... before Makarov escaped, I thanked him for raising Natsu for me."
Natsu's impulse was to snap at Zeref over it again, but he understood, as much as he could... that it wasn't really Zeref saying those things... it was that damn curse.
August sighed. "Meaning since Fairy Tail clearly doesn't know Natsu's whereabouts... Alvarez will now be at the top of their list as far as suspects go." The old man brought his hand to his forehead, and offered, "Perhaps, we could offer some sort of compromise... it'd have to be under the table at this point, but maybe we could have someone from Fairy Tail act as a conduit to channel enough of Fairy Heart's magic into His Majesty to finally allow him to destroy Acnologia-"
Natsu snorted. "Oh yeah, I forgot the best part." He turned to Ajeel. "No offense Ajeel, I don't think you should be here for what I'm about to say."
Ajeel looked surprised. "Huh? Why? If it's because of attacking your friends, I swear, I didn't know! I'm sorry-"
"It's not- I know. It's not your fault." Natsu said seriously. "Just... trust me on this. I think things are about to get ugly."
Ajeel slowly nodded and made his way back inside. After the doors had shut, Natsu glared down at Zeref. "Now why don't you tell August and Invel what you're really wanting Fairy Heart for."
Zeref's eyes widened. "Natsu, please, no-"
"You tell them, or I will!"
Zeref's voice was a mixture of disbelief, anger, and sorrow, "You wouldn't-"
"Zeref is gonna use the power of Fairy Heart to go back in time, destroy this timeline, and create a new one where he never becomes the black mage, or Acnologia comes to exist."
Utter silence fell across the garden.
After what felt like an eternity, August was the first to speak, "Your Majesty... you... don't mean that, do you?" Zeref didn't look up. "It was just your curse, clouding your mind..." Zeref turned completely away. August's face fell. "No... it can't be..." The old man looked as if he were about to burst into tears. So quiet it could barely be considered a whisper, August said, "But...this is the world where he met her…"
Natsu was the only one who had heard him, but before he could ask who 'her' was, Invel spoke, "So that's it then? Everything we worked for, everything we've fought for here in the empire is meaningless to you?" He was attempting to keep his voice even, but Natsu could hear the hurt and frustration as he spoke.
Zeref didn't respond immediately, but after a moment he began to chuckle, which evolved into a full-fledged manic laugh. He stood up and spun around, his eyes glowing red. "You're damn right it is! This place is nothing but a tool to me!" Zeref spat. He seemed to flinch as the others looked at him, and his eyes shifted back to their normal color, and filled with tears yet again. "I never wanted to be a ruler..." He said, much quieter, voice cracking from crying. "And I definitely never wanted to be some dark overlord all these damn cults insist on idolizing." He clenched his fists. "All I ever wanted was a peaceful life, with my family... to study magic, to help people. Hahahahaha." As he laughed his voice raised in volume, "You could never understand! You HAVE a family! They're all still living, while mine..." He lost himself to his sobs again. "I just... wanted to see my parents again... with Natsu by my side..."
Silence reigned yet again. Invel finally cleared his throat, and said, "No, Your Majesty, you are right, I couldn't understand." His voice carried its usual serious tone, but Natsu could hear a hint of sadness in it. "And if there were a way I could ensure the empire stays safe and grant you your desires, I would- in a heartbeat. But... I have a duty to the empire as a whole, to keep it safe and do what is best for its citizens. I cannot support you in destroying the world. I'm sorry."
"Heheheh..." Zeref's laugh sounded twisted and sad. "And how are you going to stop me? Huh?!" He yelled. "Who's going to rule? YOU?!"
"Your brother." Invel said, cutting him off. He looked at Natsu, whose eyes widened. "If this is the course you insist on, we'd have no choice but to remove you from office- at least temporarily- until you could prove beyond a shadow of a doubt you had left these destructive plans behind."
Slowly, Natsu nodded. "I don't want to be emperor… but if that meant keeping everyone safe... yeah, Zeref, I'd do it. I'd kick you straight off the throne." Natsu found himself agreeing with Invel. "And by the way, keeping everyone safe includes you, brother. This... isn't you. You might say it is, but this" he said, gesturing at Zeref's manic form, "is the curse twisting who truly are. Distorting it, corrupting it. If you were in your right mind, you wouldn't need me to be standing here telling you this. No matter how bad you want that life... how bad you want to see Mom and Dad again... deep down Zeref, you know I'm right."
Zeref's manic smile slipped, and he buried his face in his hands again. "Natsu..." He sank to his knees. "I'm so sorry brother. This isn't what I wanted for you." He looked up at Natsu, eyes red and puffy from crying. "You don't deserve to have to clean up or burden yourself with my failings. In fact," Zeref stood up, smiled and reached out his hand. "Just give me your book. I can reseal your memories... and you can go back home- to Fairy Tail- guilt free. I'll figure out how to detangle your soul from my magic before we invade... and then you can kill me, like I plan-"
Zeref was cut off by another punch to the face from Natsu. "Shut up!" The dragon slayer yelled. He scowled furiously as he continued to yell, "You don't get it, do ya? Well let me get this through your thick skull! I don't give a RAT'S ASS what you wanted for me! This is my life, I walk my own path, NO ONE chooses for me! And guess what? Cleaning up your burdens or messes or whatever... hate to break it to ya but that's what family does! They stand by each other in the good and the bad! And I told ya I wasn't leavin again!" Natsu took a deep breath and lowered his voice. "A long time ago, one of my teammates- Erza- told me something that stuck with me; You don't die for your friends, you live for them! Same thing applies to you!"
Natsu closed the distance between him and Zeref, and then picked his wide-eyed brother up by the front of his robes. "Don't ever even mention sealing my memories again! Wipe the damn thought from your mind, pinch yourself every time you think of it, I don't care! In fact, at this point, I want you to leave your soul tangled to mine or whatever... cuz the fact is..." Natsu's voice grew heavy. He released Zeref, and turned towards the door, and said, "Just like I couldn't imagine a world without Fairy Tail... a world without you isn't meant for me, Zeref. If I can't even help my own brother, what kind of person am I?"
He walked over the door to go back into the palace, but before he opened it, he turned back around. "Oh, and by the way, get your thoughts in line...cuz whenever I calm down, you're gonna start teaching me that damn teleportation spell! I'll decide whatever I'm going to do after you teach me that."
And with that, Natsu vanished back inside the palace, slamming the door as he did. The three left on the rooftop gardens stood perfectly still for a moment, other than the breeze rustling their hair and clothes. August slowly turned to leave, eyes downcast, and silent as he went back inside.
As Invel went to go back inside, he turned back to look at the emperor. Zeref's eyes were wide as he sat on the ground, feet pulled into his chest staring at nothing. As much as he didn't want to admit it, the emperor's words had hurt Invel. He knew parts of what Zeref said were his true feelings after centuries of being tortured by the curse, and he didn't think he would be doing any better if he were in his shoes... but it had still hurt to hear them.
Sighing, Invel said, "We will figure out a way through this, as we always do, Your Majesty. Please rest assured of that."
As Invel turned to go back inside, he questioned if he was saying that for the emperor's sake... or his own.
Perhaps both.
Oooooooooo. How quickly things can fall apart :(
I hope I did a good job portraying the turmoil between the characters. I especially wanted to show how hard all of this has come crashing down on Natsu.
Curious to where everyone thinks the story is heading. I will say what I am going to do is something that hasn't been done in any other FT fic I know of. Now, if that's a good or bad thing, you'll have to decide once we get there :)
See everyone next week!