Chapter 5: Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la

AN: I am so sorry, but… you were warned

7932.28.11

"Me'ven?" the word left his mouth with all the air he had left in his lungs. It felt like a punch to the gut. Like something invisible had pulled all the air from his lungs and dropped him into a frozen lake. Feemor's ice blue eyes never left his, even with Cin hissing in the guard's ear. Feemor was being honest. Deadly honest. Shortly after they had met the young man had mentioned that Ben would sometimes pull him into his visions. Which meant Feemor saw what Ben saw…

Oh his boy.

His poor baby.

Yenna's child.

His Ben'ika.

All this time. All this time, his baby was seeing his death.

His death at the hand of a traitor.

A traitor who for all he knew was currently planning on leading him to his death.

Oh stars.

And Jango. His child was going to see it too. If it wasn't bad enough that Ben'ika was seeing him die over and over, Jan'ika was going to see it happen too. His brave boy was going to see him die. Was going to watch him draw his last breath. Would have to carry his body away.

Jango couldn't know. Not yet.

He didn't have his affairs in order.

Oh stars.

He couldn't force his son to figure out his arrangements, how to lead the house.

"Buir? Me'bana?" Jango's voice broke through the fog of his thoughts with jarring speed. His head shot up and there stood his son. His brave, brave boy. It was then he noticed the arguing around him. He quickly looked around for Ben'ika. His baby was still over by the cu'bikad with Jango's grunts. Myles, holding him up underneath his arms like the ad was a disgruntled tooka.

"Jan'ika, go play with your vod'ika." Jaster ordered, voice firm. Jango's dark eyebrows creased together, eyes darting to look at the Mando'ade around him arguing.

"A buir" the ad tried to argue

"Now, jango."

"I'm not an adiik, buir. I'm 16! I passed my verd'goten years ago. I deserve to know what's going on."

"Nayc. You are my ad, no matter the age." He stood, grabbed his son by the back of his neck and pulled him in to press their foreheads together. "Please, Jan'ika. Go keep your vod'ika distracted for me. I need you to do this." He said softly but firmly. Jango was stiff, but that was to be expected.

Finally after a moment Jango nodded and pulled away. As soon as Jango was in grabbing range Myles deposited Ben'ika into Jango's arms. He turned to the group around him, all still arguing. Guard Feemor was slumped in his seat, Cin scolding him in a quiet hushed voice.

"Luubid." Jaster said. No one stopped speaking so he shouted again. To his relief everyone went quiet, and stared at him with eyes filled with pity.

"Luubid. Not one word of this will leave this circle here. Am I clear?" He ordered.

"Alor-"

"Nayc. Not one word. I know each one of you, if anyone besides you know I will kill you myself. Tayli'bac?."

"What about Jango?"

"What my ade know will be up to me alone. Now, I am going to take my boys to our apartment and spend as much time with them that I can. Aran'alor, Aran Feemor, will you be returning with us?"

"Yes, Mand'alor." Cin said on behalf of Feemor, who now wouldn't look at Jaster.

"Jate." Jaster then turned and went over to his sons. Ben almost fell out of Jango's arms in effort to get into Jaster's

"Buir? Me'vaar ti gar?" Ben'ika asked, pressing a hand to his cheek. Jaster closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His baby could feel his emotions, and right now he needed to calm down. Portray a calm lake

"Naas, Ben'ika. Ready to go to bed?"

Hesitantly Ben nodded and tucked his head against Jaster's neck. He pressed a kiss to the top of his youngest's head and warped an arm over his oldest's shoulders. His aliit together he lead them to the nearest public transport station, waiting for the transport that would take them closest to the jedi temple.

Jango kept shooting him disgruntled looks during the trip, but he didn't say a word, just pulled him closer. They arrived at the temple in silence, the aran who had been present that night going silently to their personal apartments. Jaster handed Ben'ika to Jango, asking them to get ready before turning back to Cin and Feemor.

"I need to know more. Is there a source I can learn more about these visions? An expert?" Jaster asked. Feemor shot Cin a look.

"One of the high counselors is a seer." Feemor said quietly. "He is a close friend to my former grandmaster."

"Reach out to him, Fee. See if he will meet with Jaster tomorrow." Cin ordered.

"Alor… Ni ceta" Feemor whispered, and bowed lowly. Jaster closed his eyes for a moment.

"Don't. N'entye. No debt, Aran Feemor. This… I needed to know this."

Feemor bowed and slipped away to his apartment.

"Is there a way to get Ben out of his classes for the day?"

"Of course, I can send a message to his teachers for the day and inform them he will be out of class with his finders after a rough vision, they'll understand."

"Thank you…" Jaster sighed and rubbed his eyes. He didn't want the boys with him for the meeting, but they'd stick to him like glue if he didn't have something to distract them. "Can I set the boys loose in the temple to play beroya?"

"Beroya?" Cin asked

"Bounty hunter." Jaster explained. "Sometimes we give ade a list of people they have to track down and tag."

"How would that work, for tomorrow." Cin asked, seeming interested. Jaster pulled out a pouch from his belt and pulled out a small modified tracker.

"It's magnetic, an ad has to sneak up to their target, and get it on them. It will send a holo to a pre-programed com, of it being applied. Sometimes if the bounties are volunteers, they might have sweets or other prizes for the ade if they are tagged."

"Interesting, I'll come up with a list for tomorrow, it's a good exercise for Ben." Cin agreed, with a look in his eyes that had Jaster silently apologizing to the poor souls that Cin was thinking of. They bid each other a good night and Jaster went into his apartment, where his boys were wrestling in the karyai. Jango was on the ground, his vod'ika stuck in a headlock and doing his best to try to get out of it. Jaster watched with a small smile as the two grappled and rolled around. He could hear Ben'ika growl every once in a while and his teeth snap, to which Jango would either growl back or grunt a "no biting". After a few minutes Jango let Ben win by sitting on his chest, a dramatic sigh of defeat.

"Is this how you prepare for bed?" Jaster asked, a smile playing on his lips.

"Buir!" Ben grinned from his perch on Jango's chest.

"Did you wash up?" Jaster asked.

"I tried but Ben'ika is stubborn." Jango lifted his head from the floor with a small grin.

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yuh-uh!"

And just like that the two went back to wrestling on the floor. Jaster sighed and moved to their kitchen to start a pot of warm milk and honey for the ade. He stood in the kitchen, alone, listening to the sounds of his boys. His heart clenched.

How was he supposed to leave these two alone in the galaxy? What would happen to his sweet Jan'ika. The poor boy already lost his first buir'e, and his Yen'buir so soon after. How was he supposed to leave him behind, another in a long list of loss. He knew Jango would take care of Ben, but he shouldn't have to.

"Buir?"

Jaster turned quickly, almost spilling the now steaming milk, to see his baby peeking into the kitchen.

"Lek, Ben'ika?"

"You're sad."

"Elek. Come, let's cuddle." He said, bringing the milk out to the karyai. He poured a glass for his ade and pulled them in close. Ben almost immediately plastered himself to him, clinging to him like an octopus. Jango leaned against him, acting somewhat reluctant. Jaster wanted to curse teenage hormones, but at least Jango was still willing to be close every once in a while.

"Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la" Jaster started. Then slowly they went through their list, Ben only said Yen'buir, having not known anyone else. Jango paid tribute to his lost family, to his buire and ori'vod. Jaster's list was a little longer, comrades who marched ahead long ago, family who marched before their time. It sombered the mood, and he clutched his children tighter.

"Do you know why we say 'Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la'?" Jaster asked.

Jango shook his head, and Ben clung tighter for a moment.

"The masters… the teachers here. They say that the force is in everything and everywhere. And when the body dies, the spirit joins with the cosmic force." Ben said quietly.

"Everyone dies. We know this and accept it. Life as an ori'ramikad'e is dangerous, injury and even death are not unexpected, though we hope it won't happen. As Mando'ade, we believe that when we die, our soul, what makes us who we are, march ahead to join the manda. Every mando'ade who marches ahead joins with those before them. We are not alone in the manda. We retain who we are, our thoughts and feelings. When we fight, when we live according to the mando'ade way, we gain strength from those who marched ahead. They guide us when we join them so that we do not wander alone. Our people have called me to be Mand'alor. That means one day, when I march ahead of you both, I will join the Ka'ra, the council of fallen kings. I will watch over you both, always. Even if I must march backwards."

"Is Yen'buir watching?" Ben asked, his big eyes a stormy gray.

"Course she is, Ben." Jango said, leaning over Jaster to look at his vod'ika.

"Would you like me to tell some stories about her?" Jaster asked.

"Lek!" Ben curled in closer.

"Well… hmmm where to start?"

"The beginning, buir," Jango rolled his eyes.

"Ah, yes the beginning. At the time I was a new journeyman protector."

7821.29.11

"Alright, verde." Buir called his ade to attention. Ben'ika was dressed in what he called his 'initiate whites', and reluctantly Jango wore his pretend beads and a large blue poncho. A pouch on jango's belt was filled with game tags, and he knew Ben had a handful too in his pockets. Jango guessed there had to be nearly thirty between them. His vod'ika was nearly vibrating with excitement. Jango was excited too. He was getting the chance to teach Ben how to be a beroya. When their buir called them to attention they quickly straightened under his gaze.

"Here, a list of your targets." Buir presented a datapad. "Like any bounty, there is a holo image of your target and a section of brief information about them. You are to track down, and tag your target without being caught. After you tag them, inform them they had been tagged, and move on to your next. You do not need to hunt in order, but remember to be respectful of the others in the temple."

"Elek, Alor!" Both of them cheered.

"Remember to stay together. You are a team for this." Buir reminded them.

"Elek, Alor!" they cheered again. Jango cast a look to his vod'ika and subtly gave their buir a nod. He'd stick close to him.

"Now, I will be in a meeting, but you can com me at any time. Cin will be monitoring you and your progress. Expect him to stop you if you enter an out of bounds area, are too disruptive, or if my meeting is running late and you need to eat. Do you have any questions?"

"Nayc, Alor." Jango said.

"Nayc, Buir." Ben grinned. Buir smiled and gave them each a Mirshmurc'cya, before sending them off. Jango grabbed the data pad from buir as they left the aran'yaim.

"Whose on the list?" Ben asked, clinging to Jango's arm to look at the pad. Jango stooped down to let Ben look at it with him. A number of them seemed to be aran, some he recognized in passing.

"Hey, that's Master Windu! And Master Yoda! Oh and Master Plo!" Ben bounced, shaking Jango.

"Who are they?" Jango asked. Those names sounded vaguely familiar.

"They're on the high council. Master yoda helps teach from time to time. And Master plo spends time in the creche too."

"In that case who do you think we should go after first?" Ben leaned over him and scrolled on the pad before nodding.

"We should go after the aran'e first! I know where they all tend to patrol." Ben explained jumping up. "Remember, make you head a fortress, otherwise they'll know we're coming."

"You got it. Well then, vod'ika, lead the way" Jango grinned at his brother. He let his vod drag him through the halls of the temple. There were a few jetii who gave them curious looks, who Ben just hushed and grinned at. Ben flashed Jango the signal for target ahead. He tapped the screen.

Jaa Nol. Knight Guard. Kiffar. Scared of younglings.

Jango pulled a face. There was no way the last one was true. Ben pressed a finger to his lips and crept forward towards a masked guard. He moved quietly behind the guard and stuck the tag to his shin. Then a moment later he wrapped his arms around his legs and the aran went stiff like he had just been prodded by an electro probe.

"Got you!" Ben cheered. The guard sagged a little and pulled a pouch from his belt handing it to Jango's vod'ika. Ben cheered again and ran back to Jango, holding their bounty in his hands.

"Look!" Ben presented it to him. Jango took it carefully and opened the pouch. Inside were a bunch of individually wrapped candies.

"How would you like to divide our rewards Ben? Split as soon as we get them or wait until we complete our mission?" Jango asked. Ben pressed his lips together in thought then smiled.

"You choose!"

Jango nodded seriously and put the pouch into one of his belt pouches for safe keeping. They moved through the temple with ease as Ben guided them easily to where each aran on their list was on patrol. It was a surprise Ben could tell who each was, because Jango sure couldn't. Mando'ade were at least kind enough to have a way to differentiate each other through their armor or paint.

An hour later they were holed up in one of the aran'e training rooms going through their numerous rewards with gusto and the aran'alor watching over them. Ben gave Jango the majority of his bounty, claiming that Jango didn't have daily access to the treats.

Buir was still in his meeting, so Aran'alor and Aran Feemor started running them through an obstacle course they made for them.

7932.3.12

"Buir, don't go!" Ben cried, clinging tightly to Jaster's legs. Jaster frowned, running a hand through his youngest's fluffy red hair. Ben always cried when they had to leave, but would eventually let them go. Today though, he had staunchly refused to release his buir. Cin had tried to pry Ben off, only to get bit by the ad. It was a lucky thing that they were still in the aran'yaim, because Ben's anti-venom was close on hand, and hopefully no permanent damage was received.

"Ben'ika I must go now."

"NO!" Ben shrieked, his little fingers digging into the soft gaps between his beskar'gam. He winced, and slowly knelt down, his ad, adjusting his grip accordingly. In a second he had his ad clinging to his neck, little teeth chomped down around his kute.

"Ben'ika." Jaster sighed. His ad growled in return. He sighed again, and maneuvered his babe so he could sit fully on the ground holding him.

"I know you are scared, Ben'ika. But I have a job to do. Our people rely on me. Right now, our people need the funds of the contracts our Ori'ramikad have received. As their leader I cannot in good conscience send them out and stay behind." Jaster explained softly. Ben gave a soft keening sound, and Jaster could feel the warmth of big wet tears on his neck. He rubbed his back and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

"I will do what I can to return to you. I will not promise it, because I do not know if I can keep such a promise. But no matter what I am with you. I hold you in my heart, and you hold me in yours. Because of that we will never be parted."

"Don't go buir." Ben whispered.

"I am right here, Ben'ika. But I do need to go shortly." Jaster whispered back, and held him tightly in his arms.

7933.15.4

Cin was supervising the initiate saber class as Senior Padawan Fisto guided them through shii-cho with excitement and a level of seriousness the young padawan rarely showed. If the padawan kept up his excitement with the form Cin had little doubt he would be a master of it in a few years. After every repetition Ben would turn his big blue eyes towards him, seeking approval. He'd give a small nod and a tug in the force to order him to pay attention. He would, diligently, turn his attention back to Padawan Fisto. After a few minutes it turned to short duels.

Initiate Chun had just won his duel against Initiate Alto when it happened.

Ben's scream made his blood turn cold. It was one of pure pain and anguish. He saw the child drop to the ground, fingers digging into his scalp hard enough to draw blood. Everyone jumped back, giving Ben space as he seized on the ground. It was then that Cin finally moved, darting forward. Ben was still screaming. He reached out to tough his mind and recoiled in shock. The whiplash of a shattered bond felt like a life wire jumping around and electrocuting anything it touched. He pressed a hand to Ben's forehead and pressed down the order of sleep. Ben tried to fight back, but eventually the boy dropped unconscious.

"Master?" Padawan Fisto asked, creeping closer.

"Com the halls, tell them I'm bringing initiate Kenobi in."

"What-"

"Now, Kit." He ordered as he scooped the boy into his arms and ran. He shouted as he did, ordering people out of his way as he tore through the hall. Someone must have alerted the guard, because before he sprinted into the halls two of his guard were there on his heel, one he was quite certain was Feemor.

"CHE!" He shouted as he entered, the boy limp in his arms. The aggressive healer came in a flurry, taking the little one from his arms and depositing him onto a stretcher.

"What happened?"

"Broken bond." He choked.

"With who?" She asked, voice barely above a whisper. She was the only other one who knew.

"His father."

"Oh, poor dear. We'll make him comfortable." she comforted him, pushing the stretcher to a secluded room. Cin followed, his heart breaking just a little for the youngling.

"Master." one of the guards, whom he was now certain was Feemor, spoke softly.

"Go, you're relieved of duty for now. Ben'ika need you." Cin ordered silently. In a surprising change Feemor didn't bow. Instead he pressed a fist to his chest, the durasteel clanging. Then he turned and moved quickly from the halls. Cin took a deep breath and turned to the other.

"Go take off the uniform, go to Keldab'ika. Get the goran and bring him back here." He ordered. Then to his surprise, just as Feemor did, his fist clanged against his breastplate and he too turned and left just as quickly. Cin took a deep breath and went to follow Che to the room Ben would call his. By the time he got there the child was already hooked up to several wires and medicinal drips. He took a moment to drop into the chair next to the bed and let his head fall in his hands. It wasn't supposed to happen this fast, this soon. Ben was supposed to have more time left with his father. After a moment he pulled out his com.

Battle Master Cin Drallig to guard detail

Date:7933.1.15 13:43hr

Notice

Ben Mereel is in the halls of healing due to the backlash of a broken bond. Nothing is confirmed yet but it is believed that Mand'alor Mereel has joined the Manda. Be respectful with your interactions with the Mando'ade in the coming days, do not speak of anything until there is confirmation. Any guards at the entrances or hangers, be prepared to receive the Goran and the Mand'alor's eldest child.

Jaster Mereel nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la

Mando'a

Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la: not gone, merely marching far away. (Tribute to a dead comrade.)

Me'ven?: Huh? What? Expression of bewilderment or disbelief

Buir: Parent/ dad/mom

Me'bana: What's happening? What happened?

Vod'ika: little brother

A buir: but dad

Luubid: Enough

Tayli'bac?: Got it? Okay? Understand? (Often very aggressive.)

Naas: Nothing

Ni ceta: sorry (lit: I kneel) grovelling apology - rare

N'entye: lit. no debt; 'you're welcome'

Aliit: clan name, identity, family

Karyai: main living room of a traditional north Mandalorian house - a single big chamber for eating, talking, resting, and even the last secure stronghold when under attack

Mirshmurc'cya: keldabe kiss

Jetii: jedi

Kute: underwear, bodysuit, something worn under armor