Once he calmed down, Shinji realized two things.
One, Misato must never find out he had relieved himself with her panties. Any hope of staying with her would vanish if it happened. As his commanding officer she could even throw him to the brig for his betrayal. He didn't want her to hate him, Shinji couldn't stomach the thought of her being disgusted by him. Not after what they had been through.
Two, in order to prevent that from happening, he needed to get rid of the evidence. Shinji looked to his left hand to realize not only was it also covered in semen, but the semen was dripping onto the floor.
He had to clean himself immediately.
With that thought, Shinji dropped the photo he had on his right hand and raced to the bathroom. He barely squeezed in the time to zip up his pants, hurriedly opening the faucet and washing both hands in the sink. He made sure to thoroughly, furiously scrub his hands with soap, drying himself with a towel before he proceeded to head to the kitchen.
"They have to be around here somewhere… there!"
He then grabbed a tissue box from the dining table, along with dishwashing soap. Shinji rushed back to his room to clean the floor. Any trace of semen was lost to a rigorous application of soap and tissue wiping. With practiced ease, Shinji managed to eliminate the stains in less than ten minutes. In all that time, there hadn't been a phone call or random interruption, doing much to ease his conscience.
Shinji dropped his knees to the floor, letting himself breathe. To make absolute sure, he sniffed the floor. No salty smell. He wiped the sweat from his forehead, having solved the most pressing issue at hand.
Well, almost. There was still the rather striking issue of Misato's own panties.
"These have to come off, right?" Shinji asked himself. "It can't be that hard. They're just panties."
The enormous stain on them intimidated Shinji, reminding him of how far he had fallen. He had to get rid of it immediately. In his haste, he applied the soap to Misato's panties hoping it would work.
It did not. He managed to clear the fluids, but the stain was still noticeable on the panties themselves. Shinji could still smell his handiwork on them. It was horrible. It was disgusting.
"I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked up-!"
His mantra drove him to the sink, hoping the use of a paper towel along with a different set of dishwashing soap would help. He scrubbed as much and as hard as he could, trying desperately to remove his sin from Misato's undergarment.
It didn't work. Nothing did.
In addition to the overwhelming guilt consuming him now, Shinji kicked himself in the head over how utterly stupid he had acted. Lt. Hyuuga handed him the laundry yesterday. The next pick up wouldn't come for another two weeks. He couldn't wait that long, if he couldn't clean the panties he needed to find a way to hide the evidence so Misato wouldn't notice!
"She probably forgets stuff like that all the time right?" He tried to calm himself. "I mean, she always makes a mess and dresses like that, maybe she won't notice?"
No, he couldn't take that chance. Misato wasn't an idiot, being the only other person who lived in this complex she might notice her underwear was missing. She assigned Section-2 to follow him, they could notice if he left the room suspiciously! She could check the trash for them! Considering his options, Shinji decided on his course of action.
He returned to his room, reaching into his storage dresser. He went to placed the panties inside one of his drawers, slamming it shut so hard it so hard it opened slightly. Too put off by what happened to notice, Shinji went back outside to think.
"Misato can't enter room. Not for two weeks."
It was the only strategy Shinji had. Even before Misato left for long periods of time she never entered his room without knocking or to surprise him, much less rummage through his clothes like a maniac. Not like he had, Shinji thought glumly.
She wasn't a horrible person like him.
His panicked rush began to clear, Shinji finally sat on a chair near the kitchen table. His body was sore from cleaning Misato and his own room, his shame bringing his mood down to a crawl. He let himself exist for a few minutes, letting himself think out loud.
"Maybe it's a good thing Misato left. She probably won't be back until tonight, or even tomorrow. I don't think I can face her right now… or Father…"
His eyes narrowed.
"I definitely don't want to see him."
Shinji guessed his father would be at Mother's grave site around 4:00 PM. He remembered that being the usual time his father would visit her. Shinji planned to visit at 5:00 PM, an hour later so they wouldn't have to run into each other. He had plenty of time until then…
"Plenty of time, but nothing to do." Shinji said with a bitter chuckle. "It's not I can go back to farming."
He looked at his hand again. He opened and clutched his fist, remembering how he took Kaji's shovel and hacked his watermelon patch to pieces. No, he would not return to the scene of the crime so quickly after he got away with his scheme.
Shinji truly had nothing to do then. Play the cello? Listen to music? Feed Pen-Pen? Where was the bird anyway? Probably asleep, Shinji thought. He wasn't going to disturb that thing.
"Well, fantastic. Where do I go now?"
Suddenly, Shinji heard the doorbell ring. His skin crawled at the possibility Kaji found him out. Should he wait him out, or confront him now?
"Idiot, it's me!"
His fears immediately depleted. It was just Asuka. Shinji hurriedly went to the door, opening it in the hopes the visit would be brief and she would leave him to sulk in peace. He wasn't in the mood for her insults.
"Misato isn't here." He said. "What's up?"
"Hey. I actually came here for you." Asuka waved at him. "Got a minute?"
"Um, sure?" He looked around. "Would you like to come inside or…?"
"Nothing like that, just a moment of your time." Asuka looked at him questioningly. "You looked frazzled."
"Erm, I had a… disturbance." Shinji scratched the back of his head. "Nothing too serious."
"Right. Anyway, I heard from Kaji that the carnival was in town today."
"Is it? I haven't heard anything like that."
"You don't go out much, Third Child. In fact, that's exactly why I'm asking you to come with me."
Shinji blinked, pointing a finger at himself.
"… Me? But why?
"Do you have to ask? Ugh, you're such an idiot."
"I mean, if you're not going to bother to explain then I might as well just leave you there right now-"
Before he could shut the door, Asuka threw her leg out to block it. Shinji had no choice but to listen to her.
"Look. I'm bored out of my skull being stuck in here, and I got permission from the higher ups to leave. I don't particularly like being by my lonesome, especially in area where so many creepy weirdoes could be hanging around. Therefore, I thought maybe I could invite a big strong guy- being completely sarcastic by the way- like you to come along and keep me company. Surely Misato lets you leave the house every now and then unless she's the type to spoil you rotten and treat you like a baby."
Shinji thought about it. He was tired from his earlier ordeal, but he didn't exactly feel great being by himself right now. Maybe he let himself be distracted for a couple of hours. He nodded.
"There's somewhere I have to be afterwards, but sure. I can come with you."
"Cool." Asuka looked him over. "I'm picking out your clothes. Your wardrobe is complete ass."
Shinji never felt more like a doofus than he did now.
His current theory was that Asuka picked out his prison attire for when she inevitably sold him out to Kaji. He certainly didn't feel comfortable with the white dress shirt that clung too closely to his upper body, nor with the green and blue plaid tie and pants that tightened around his neck and legs. If they were any tighter Shinji would explode from lack of air. Even unbuttoning a couple of buttons did little to make him feel better.
He had the other sneaking suspicion that these were actually Asuka's clothes. He certainly felt like a girl in them.
"Couldn't you have… picked something easier for me? Ow!"
"Quit whining you baby." Asuka said, having finished slapping his knee. "If I'm going to have a date, it needs to be with a boy who knows how to dress properly!"
Date. Shinji was interested in her terminology, wondering what Asuka meant by that. Surely she wasn't interested in him that way. All their interactions had been those of rivalry, or even friendship. What could Asuka be after?
"Besides, we obviously can't just to the carnival like that." Asuka continued. "People will recognize us as the heroic saviors of humanity. We need to wear disguises."
"Disguises? Surely you could do better than this?"
"I do. In fact, thanks for reminding me!"
From her side, she pulled out a blonde wig and green eye contact lenses. Shinji looked at her puzzled.
"You want me to wear these?"
"If you know what's good for you. I have to do the same thing. Just put it on, stupid."
Finding no use in arguing with Asuka, Shinji put them on. The eye contacts were bothersome, but at least they didn't jab into his eyes. His hair felt itchy wearing the wig. He couldn't stand it.
"Well," He tried to console himself. "At least it's better than your get up."
Her disguise was a touch more elaborate than his own. Asuka dyed her hair brown, her hair braided in buns around her head. She wore a blue Chinese dress shirt that went to her knees, along with sunglasses inside of the car. Shinji's lips curved upward.
"Pffffft…"
"What's so funny, Third?"
"Pffft hahahahaha!" Shinji pointed and laughed. "You're so goofy looking!"
"No I don't! up moron."
"No way, hahahahaha this is priceless!"
While Asuka attempted to murder him with her eyes, Shinji looked out his window. They rode inside of a black van, much like Misato had when she took him to their special spot. By the looks of things, they weren't in the city but somewhere on the edge. A ferris wheel was the first thing that stuck out to Shinji, along with a couple of roller coasters, one larger than the others. A fence surrounded the compound, crowds of people, particularly children, waiting to get inside. Even with a relatively small operation, Shinji guessed they would have needed a month to set up shop. Were they building this during the Angel attacks? Reckless if true.
"You act so shocked." Asuka said. "Have you never been to one of these before?"
"Not really, no." Shinji admitted with a blush. "My teacher's house was… isolated. I didn't know anyone so I never went there. All my time was busy indoors."
"Huh." Asuka gave him an odd look, one Shinji was seeing often on her. It seemed to be proving him, waiting for something. "Good thing you're going to get a professional guiding you on your first ever trip to the carnival! Wunderbar!"
The van stopped just outside the fence. Asuka waved the driver off.
"Thanks a lot, mister! We're only going to be here for a couple of hours so stay here."
The Section-2 officer nodded his head, not bothering to look at their direction. Shinji left the van relieved the officer wouldn't follow him. It was just him and Asuka.
"Still surprised you took me here. I figured you would want to be here with your precious Kaji or something."
She laughed.
"I wish. He has no time for me anymore, even though I'm all alone in my room, waiting for a special someone to break through my spectacular wall of Jericho."
Shinji raised an eyebrow. "Wall of what?"
"Ugh, you seriously don't know?" She was genuinely startled by her friend's lack of knowledge. "The Wall of Jericho, infamous in the Bible for being broken by Israelites. Your teacher never taught you that?"
"Like I said, sheltered." Shinji did a double take. "Break through… You want Mr. Kaji to come in and ravish you?!"
She opened her mind, before shutting it. Then, Asuka turned her head away.
"Yes! Well, no." A blush formed on her face. "Not really. Look, I just want him to notice me but he never does! If he's going to be too busy drooling over his precious Misa-chan, well fuck him! I'm going my own way."
Shinji supposed he could understand. He shrugged.
"Well, I'm glad I'm apparently second place on the totem pole."
"Yeah. A very distant second place by the way. If I knew anyone else I'd go with them. You're never gonna be topping anyone's lists."
"Funny." Shinji smirked. "That's not what Dr. Akagi said."
"Bah! Having a higher sync rate than me means nothing compared to actual combat! Stick with me and I'll show you REAL experience!"
Asuka raised her hand.
"Ready, Third Child? You can back out if you want, chicken."
Shinji looked at her hand, then to her face. He raised his own, determined not to lose.
"Okay. Ready."
She grabbed a hold of him, pulling Shinji with her. It was easy to get lost inside the crowd, surrounded by strangers who couldn't care less about them. Shinji surmised if they knew, they would try to kidnap or kill them like what months ago. He was thankful that Asuka took the lead. She was the expert, not him. He didn't have to do anything.
"What do we do first?"
Except answer Asuka's question. Caught off guard, he stammered in his response.
"Erm, well I- I don't know. Whatever you think is good I guess?"
She shook her head, a small tisk spat through her teeth. Shinji wondered what he did wrong this time. No matter what he did, Asuka insulted him. Did he even have a chance with her? He didn't understand Misato as well as he thought he did, how could he understand a girl his own age? Asuka seemed well beyond him.
After a minute, they made their first stop at a booth. It was a shooting gallery, with three targets and a plastic toy gun. The booth was manned by a plump elderly clerk, a bushy bearded man wearing a cap. He stared at them with a devilish smirk, which Shinji in his inexperience instinctively knew not to trust.
"What can I do for you, kids?" The clerk looked around. "I don't see your parents."
"We don't need 'em." Asuka brought out 754 yen, exactly the price she saw. "We'd like to try it."
He took the yen, inspecting them for signs of fraud. Upon finishing he looked back toward Asuka, giving her a look over before chuckling.
"You sure? A little girl like you probably never held a gun in her life."
"You'd be surprised." Asuka slapped Shinji's arm. "Fortunately, this idiot is going first."
"Wait what?" Shinji was startled. "Don't girls usually go first?"
"Exactly. That's why I'm giving you the courtesy."
"…" Shinji frowned. "If that's how you want to play it, sure."
The clerk handed Shinji the toy gun, shaking his head in a way that said yeah you're not going to win. It only drove Shinji to spite the man, aiming the gun at one of the targets. The game was simple. He had three shots to hit the target. If he hit the dot in the center, he would get one of the prizes. Shinji recalled Dr. Akagi's words from his training, along with the amount of satisfaction he got from destroying copies of Sachiel in the simulation.
"Position target in the center…"
Surely this time would be the same. He pulled the switch.
BAM!
It missed the center by inches. Shinji bared his teeth in rage. He fired again. And again. Both times, he missed entirely. The clerk kept his infuriatingly smug grin at him, much to Shinji's chagrin.
"Sorry kid. No prizes for you. Now you'll need to hand that gun over to the girl."
Shinji pouted, recognizing the insult for what it was. He reluctantly handed over the gun to Asuka, who had her own smirk plastered on her face.
"Forgive him. The idiot knows not what he does. I'll show you how you get shit done."
She aimed the gun at the target. Curiously to Shinji, she tilted the gun a few inches higher than how he positioned it.
"Asuka, you're-"
"Shut up." Asuka shook her head. "Watch me."
She pulled the switch. The bullet landed squarely at the center dot, to Shinji's surprise.
"A- Asuka!" He gasped. "You did it!"
She continued, firing directly at the dot again and again. For the cherry on top, Asuka blew the top of the gun. She had her own smug grin as she watched the clerk's pathetic attempts to keep his anger in check.
"… you win." The clerk said, tossing Asuka a random plushie from the pile. "Here's your prize. Leave."
Asuka caught the toy with one hand. She could see it was a little girl with a shawl over her head. She only had a big pair of blue eyes, a red blush painted on her cheeks, and no mouth to speak. A perfect cute little toy, in Asuka's estimation.
"Hmmmm…"
She tore it apart with her hands, to Shinji and the clerk's great surprise. The latter trained a dark glare at the utter waste Asuka made of his prize. She had no care for his turmoil.
"Sorry," Asuka said clearly not sorry. "I don't play with toys like these. Have a good day."
Shinji thought he heard a small bitch whispered from the clerk's mouth. He didn't hear any more, as Asuka took him by the hand and led him away from the booth.
"What did you do that for, Asuka?" Shinji had to ask. "It was a nice toy, you didn't need to do that. I could have taken it."
"It was defective and stupid looking. You wouldn't have liked it anyway."
"You don't know that."
"I do, actually. More than you."
"Okay well," Shinji sighed. "Can you at least tell me how you managed to hit the targets? I positioned the gun dead center and I missed! It was exactly like Misato and Dr. Akagi told me."
At that Asuka gave him one of her all-knowing grins she made whenever she was about to explain how he was wrong, and indeed, usually did prove he was wrong. He couldn't say he didn't enjoy seeing that on her face. If she was right, she was right even if it was at the expense of his pride.
"While I was in the military, I learned a very important thing about guns. What they train you to do in the simulation doesn't compare to holding a gun in live battle. Each type of gun has a weight behind it. I got a feel for the toy gun and held it based on the weight I calculated in my head. Boom, fired shots. That's why you couldn't make more than a cloud of smoke around Shamshel by the way."
The Fourth Angel, Shinji realized. He tilted his head in disbelief.
"You're serious…"
"I am." She poked his chin. "Word of advice, always aim a bit off-center. You'll actually score better hits that way."
Once again, Shinji felt like a fool and was suitably impressed by Asuka's knowledge. She really seemed born to pilot an Eva.
"Wow. You know a lot."
"The benefits of being trained as a pilot my whole life compared to an absolute zero like you. Now let's continue."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Now?"
"No."
"Can we leave for something else?" Shinji said, grabbing a hold of his pants. "I think I need to go to the bathroom."
"No. Now shut up."
They were waiting in a line for a roller coaster. Maximum Extreme Super-Heat, written in English to seem exotic. The few bits of English that Shinji learned from his teacher lead him to suspect it was a cheap trick to impress people. It must have worked, if the near hour long line meant anything.
"Pleeeeaaaaase, Asuka? I think this is a waste of time."
"Absolutely not! I heard about this coaster and I REFUSE to back down." Asuka slapped Shinji's shoulder. "Now shut it. We're going to ride this thing whether you like it or not."
Shinji ket his mouth shut. Why was Asuka so demanding?
Fortunately it didn't take more than a few more minutes for them to reach the end of the line. Asuka handed 1,508 yen to the operator- Shinji imagined an outcome where Asuka didn't have the money and they were thrown out, causing him to shudder in fear. Thank god it didn't happen. They were let in, thankfully, and reached the carts. Being the last arrivals they wound up getting the butt end of the coaster.
"What the hell?! I want us to get the front!"
"No can do." The operator told Asuka. "You came in last, you go in last. Get used to it, princess."
Asuka glared at her. Shinji pushed her along to prevent a fight from breaking out.
"Erm, excuse her we just… waited a while." He nervously said. "We're a little tired."
Asuka turned her glare toward him. Shinji shrugged.
"I don't want to get into trouble."
"Hmph, you're such a wimp! You should fight for what you want!"
"I am. I am fighting you so we don't get thrown out."
"Bah, coward!"
"If you say so."
Shinji ignored whatever other jabs she threw at him to sit them down. He lowered the safety bar around his upper torso, looking forward to see the excited, cheerful faces eagerly waiting to start the ride. Shinji was baffled by this.
"I can't believe anyone would willingly ride one of these things.
"Coasters are fun. This is Maximum Extreme Super-Heat. Supposedly this goes up to 100 miles per hour. I call bullshit personally."
"That has to be an exaggeration." Shinji rolled his eyes. "The Evas go faster than that and the armor protects us from dying. If the coaster did that, we'd be dead. They're lying, right Asuka?"
Asuka only smiled at him. He shuddered at the sight.
"Right, Asuka? We're not going to die?"
"I don't know." She sneered. "We'll have to see, Shinji."
She used his name. Shinji gulped, looking down at the safety bar again. He attempted to pull it off to no avail.
"Stuck."
"You're not getting out of this, Third."
Just as Shinji realized his situation, the cart began to move. He could only begin to sweat in anticipation for his inevitable demise.
"No, this can't be happening… I won't be able to take it…"
"It is~" Asuka said in a sing song voice. "Embrace your fate."
They rode up to the top of the loop. The height was long, to the point where Shinji could see the city in the distance, causing him to gulp. It was a pleasant sight before his death.
"Good bye…"
Then, the cart dropped down.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!'
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The ride was utter hell, in Shinji's opinion. Much of it was a blur, the memory blocked mostly to maintain his sanity. As they left the ride, he could only stumble out of the coaster in a daze while Asuka laughed her at his pain.
"Hahahaha," She wiped a tear from her eye. "I don't know why you're complaining Shinji. It's just a ride"
Shinji held his stomach. "A ride… that'll give people… heart attacks…"
"It'll give you a heart attack 'cause you're weak."
"No… ugh, I feel sick…"
Shinji felt a stirring in his insides. Not waiting for Asuka, he ran to the trash can and emptied his stomach all over it.
"Gross!" Asuka looked away in contempt. "You're a sick freak, you know that?"
He couldn't help but agree with her. Shinji wiped a trace of vomit from his mouth.
"Um, can I go to the bathroom now?"
To accommodate Shinji's weak stomach, Asuka decided to take softer attractions.
They went though a couple of games. Ring-tossing, bumper cars, pulling apples from a barrel. They weren't particularly exciting for her, but Shinji wasn't stinking up the place with his vomit so she considered that a win. Still, if she wanted today to be worth a damn there was one ride in particular she wanted to go on and he couldn't refuse if he wanted to.
"Okay then," Shinji nodded. "Where do we go?"
Where do we go, he asked with bafflingly sincerity. Where else?
The ferris wheel was the center piece of the carnival. There was no way they would not visit it, given the nature of their date. If things went as they should, she would finally discover the truth for herself.
For his part, Shinji felt this was less of a date and more Asuka dragging him to random places to prove herself better than him. She didn't need to do that, Shinji already knew she was better. Thankfully since she let him go to the bathroom he didn't have reason to complain. It helped the line for the Ferris Wheel was a lot shorter.
"You'd think there would be more people here."
"Not really. Ferris wheels are boring."
"Then why did you pick this one?"
"Because I want to see the look on your face when you realize we're gonna be higher than the coaster."
"R-Really?" Shinji gulped again. "You're a sadistic psychopath."
"I'm just trying to help you overcome your problem."
"…"
"You know… being a whiny pussy."
He rolled his eyes. "Riveting. I am so glad I agreed to come here."
"Me too. Hop in"
They approached the ride's operator and paid him. They took their seats inside the cart.
"Maybe this won't be so bad." Shinji said coping with his situation. "The height is… something… but maybe it won't cause me to hurl. Maybe."
"Geez, are you always this annoying? Get thicker skin, moron."
The wheel began to rotate, taking them up slowly. Very slowly. The cart made repeated stops along the way, most likely to allow other passengers to leave their carts. Shinji and Asuka realized something very quickly about ferris wheels.
They were, indeed, boring as shit.
"Ugh, I can't believe I chose this. Worst decision I ever made."
"Me neither. This isn't all that exciting."
Shinji looked out the window. He then proceeded to move his head down to his knees.
"If I brought my player here maybe I could bear this…"
"Baby."
"Shut up."
The two sat in silence. Shinji twiddled his thumbs trying not to explode from combustion. Any time he looked up, he saw Asuka glanced at him, before looking away. She was contemplating something, Shinji realized, but what? Did she hate him? Did she think about throwing him out the cart from this height? He wouldn't blame her if she did, given how he acted.
She looked at him again, narrowing her eyes. She didn't seem angry, in Shinji's estimation. More like… searching.
"Hmmmmm…"
"What is it, Asuka?" He asked. "Do I have something on my face?"
"No… I'm just bored." Asuka said. "You're the most boring date I've ever had. You're not even trying to make conversation with me."
"I'm used to other people leading me around." Shinji shrugged. "I don't have a lot of things to say to you anyway."
"Ohhh, you mad?"
"No." Shinji's lips curled. "Well okay, you could have let me go the bathroom earlier. That line was long."
"Hahahahahaha!"
She gave him a smirk, something that Shinji no realized meant he was in for an unpleasant surprise.
"Hey Shinji."
"Yeah?"
"Let's kiss."
"W-what?" Shinji had to do a double take to understand what she said. "Why?!"
"Why not?" Asuka shrugged. "We're on a date, and it's just us in here. We don't know anyone, and you're clearly not going to make the first move on any girl. Let's just get our first kisses out of the way so that this date won't be a complete waste."
Misato appeared in his mind again, disappointed in him. He tried to ignore it.
"First kiss…" Shinji nervously chuckled. "Hahahaha, right. But shouldn't you… I dunno, save it for someone like Kaji?"
"Nah." She waved him off. "Kisses aren't special. We'd be doing it just to blow off steam. Unless you're saving your kisses for your pwecious Misato, you might as well just cough up."
"M-Misato and I aren't like that!"
"Oh sure! I love you so muuuuch Misato mwumwumwu you might as well drop your pants and ask her to suck your dick."
"ASUKA!"
He stood up from his chair, hands curled into fists. He knew she was goading him. He didn't care. Why shouldn't he just go for it right here? It wasn't like Misato was here to stop him anyway.
"Fine, let's do it."
"Finally" Asuka grinned, pointing a finger at her lips. "Pucker up, loser."
Without hesitation, he leaned in and kissed her. Asuka was caught off guard by how quickly he forced his lips onto her, how he accidentally pushed her up against her seat. However, she came back just as quickly, locking lips with his own. Shinji knew his kiss wasn't great, just clumsily following along, but he was surprised as how Asuka's kiss felt unpracticed. Compared to Misato's reluctant yet experienced lips, Asuka didn't seem to know what she was doing.
He probably shouldn't tell Asuka that though. He wouldn't want anyone to get in trouble.
After a long moment, Asuka pushed him off, rubbing her fingers over her lips. Shinji was startled by the shocked expression on her face. She seemed to be put off by his advance, which made him feel guilty
"Asuka?" Shinji asked. "What's wrong? Did I do something?"
"… Huh…"
Just a huh? Shinji thought that was strange. "What?"
"I…" Asuka looked down. "I didn't feel… anything."
"Anything? What do you mean?"
She looked around, trying to think of what to say.
"When I kissed you, I thought I'd feel sparks flying. Instead… I don't know, it just feels weird."
"Weird how?"
"I don't know." Asuka said, oddly curious and unsure of herself. "I thought kissing you would make me feel something, but to me it was just a kiss. It didn't feel good or bad, I just didn't like it. Actually, I didn't. I don't know, fuck give me a second."
She seemed out of it, Shinji thought. What was going on?
"I wanted to see what a kiss with a boy would be like." She admitted. "You were the only one around so I kissed you to see what would happen. I'm trying to imagine this with Kaji but it still doesn't sit right with me."
Shinji twinged in annoyance. "Always with Kaji, huh Asuka?"
"I don't know what I expected." Asuka said, seemingly ignoring him. "I thought I'd either get practice for Kaji or… like you more, I guess? But I don't really like you that way. To be honest, I'm not even sure if I like Kaji that way."
He couldn't believe this. Misato. Asuka. Were all girls like this? Was Ibuki also toying with Kaji last night?
"So that's what it's all about? Just toying with me?"
"Hey! Don't act all entitled. You should feel lucky to get a kiss from a real girl instead of jacking it off to a toy or something."
"Oh why I'd oughta-!"
Shinji saw her frigthened look and stopped himself. He breathed in and sighed.
"Sorry."
"Yeah, you were getting all weird on me." Asuka shook her head. "Don't do that. Girls don't like clingy guys anymore than the other way around. You see how Misato fights off Kaji."
"I guess so." Shinji said. Feeling guilty, he decided to extend an olive branch. "if it helps you feel better, I wasn't exactly thinking of you either."
"Really?" Asuka grinned again. "Wait, don't tell me. It's your Misato-sama!"
"N-No it isn't!"
"Hahahahahaha, you told her that you love her! There was no way I was going to let you live that down!
"Stop it!"
"Smoochie smoochie smoochie!"
"Gaaaaahhhh! I never should have said anything!"
Afterward, they left the Ferris Wheel. With no more rides to explore, Shinji and Asuka decided now would be a good time to leave the carnival. They returned to their van. As Shinji took off his wig and contacts, he caught Asuka looking back at him.
"Where to?"
"Huh?"
"You said you had somewhere to be. You weren't lying about that were you?"
"No, not at all."
"Well, we're gonna drop you off at that place. So again, where to?"
Shinji thought of something right then.
"… Actually, if you want you could come with me."
"Oh?"
"I'd rather not be alone right now. I enjoyed myself with you today, even with that awful kiss. I wouldn't mind some company."
"Really? Well." Asuka crossed her arms. "This better be good, or else I'll never forgive you!"
"… Oh."
What else could Asuka say?
Aside from herself and Shinji, the graveyard was largely devoid of life. Hills upon hills of names carved on stones, remembering the people that died during Second Impact and long afterward. Yui Ikari was the latter, fulfilling a request to be buried next to her father. As the sun set in the distance, Shinji was glad to arrive at this hour.
"I didn't want to run into Father on the way here." He explained. "It's going to be just us with any luck."
Asuka frowned. "I'm only doing this 'cause I owe you. I don't like this place."
"Thanks for coming anyway. I really appreciate you being here."
She perked up at that, watching him approach to his mother's grave. She read the name on the tombstone.
Yui Ikari
1977-2004
"It's just rock." Shinji said. "There isn't a body underneath the soil. My teacher told me that they couldn't find her body, not after what happened."
"The accident you mean?" At seeing Shinji's confused expression, Asuka explained. "I know Dr. Ikari-, your mom I mean. I know she was killed in sync test with Unit 01. It was a part of the file I was given about you."
"Really?" He shook his head. "Nice to know my private information is available for everyone to see. Amazing."
"It wasn't my business." She agreed with him. "I'm a higher rank than you, so they handed me a file with all your information. I figured if you weren't going to bring it up neither would I."
Even now she was flexing on him? Shinji sighed.
"… well, thanks anyway." He turned away. "The Sub-Commander told me Mother build the Evas. I can't believe she would do that, but apparently she did. Maybe she was murdered because of it."
"Murdered? That's not what the report said."
"Of course they wouldn't say it. Father is the Commander of NERV, he would hide his own mess."
"Wait, you think…" Asuka raised an eyebrow. "You think the Commander killed your mom?"
"That's what everyone said, and it makes sense to me. They worked on the Evas, so he had to have been the one to kill her. No one else knows how they work better than him."
"I never heard of anything like this."
"Of course you wouldn't!" Shinj laughed. "How could you? He's the Commander! He probably covered it up somehow! I couldn't stand being in the Eva at first because my mom was murdered inside of that thing! Eva stole everything from me!"
A swirl of rage stormed in him.
"I hate him! I hate him, hate Eva, I hate everything and everyone at NERV! All they do is steal and break us until we're nothing! That's all we'll ever be to them, disposable!"
Upon seeing Asuka's shocked reaction, Shinji tried to calm himself again. He was still agitated from earlier events.
"Sorry."
"No don't be. I just never really knew you were like this." Asuka frowned. "I'm guessing your mom was part of Project E."
"Maybe? I don't know. I don't want to know."
Shinji looked at her. He realized something.
"So um… is your mother around here?"
"Mine?" Asuka laughed. "No. Not in this graveyard. I don't miss her at all."
"Sorry."
"Stop apologizing. I wasn't exactly what you call a normal child anyway."
"Huh?"
She sighed. "Well, I know your secrets. It's only fair you know mine."
"You don't have to."
"I do." Asuka sighed. "See, I'm a test tube baby. I was the brain child from two of the top scientists in Project-E, Dr. Kyoko Zeppelin Soryuu and Dr. Fubuki Shikinami. They bred me to be a perfect pilot for Eva, overseeing my studies, teaching me how to fight. They pushed me until I broke, I think I can still feel the cracked ribs from the training. I graduated at age 10, became a Colonel in the Bundeswehr by age 12. They were relentless."
Shinji was horrified by what he was hearing. "They raised you like that?!"
"They had to. They needed the best to fight the Angels. Or maybe that's the excuse they had in their heads. I don't know, and I'll never know. Dr. Soryu died testing Unit 02, like your mom actually." Asuka frowned at that thought. "Shikinami… she went insane afterward. She was convinced a pair of dolls were Soryu and… me. She was so lost in her delusion that she killed herself."
"Oh my god…" Shinji gasped. "I'm so sorry, Asuka."
"Shit happens. They raised me, but I don't consider them to be my mothers no matter how much they pretended to be. I don't anyone like that. I'm just weirded out that both Dr. Soryu and your mom died in two separate Eva accidents."
"You make it sound like a conspiracy."
"Maybe it is. Or maybe it's just us making stupid connections. What a load of shit."
Shinji looked at his hand. He opened it and closed it, glancing at his mother's grave. He looked back back to Asuka.
"Asuka…"
He reached and touched Asuka's own hand. She was startled, almost blushing.
"W-What are you-?"
"I'm glad you came." He said. "I… I didn't want to be here with Father. So I'm glad you were here with me."
Asuka blushed harder. She would never admit it out loud, but Shinji could sense she was touched by this gesture. She took her hand away and slapped his shoulder.
"Any time, Third Child. Any time. Just not this shit again, okay?"
She looked away, the blush still on her face.
"I'm… glad you came when I asked too. It was nice being out here."
Shinji smiled. Before he could say anything, he felt his phone vibrate. He opened it up.
'Text from Misato? What does it say-'
He immediately paled upon reading it. Asuka noticed the way he tensed.
"Shinji?"
Shinji kept his cool. He didn't want her involved in his mess, so he kept his smile.
"Misato made it home earlier than expected. We should probably get back now."
She nodded. They entered the car and drove back to NERV, appreciating the peaceful silence between them.
Author's Notes:
Shinji and Asuka together are fun to write sometimes. It almost makes me ship them… almost.
Next time, we're going to get Misato's POV and all your burning questions and speculations will be answered.
Volter: That's a high honor, thank you very much!
artifactBC: Boldly assuming he'll ever get a job... He only narrowly dodged his problems here, so very possible.
engel17white: Bardiel's coming soon, does that help? The manga did more to explore an Oedipal side of Shinji than the show, I figured given the subject matter of this fic it had to come up. Glad you seem to be enjoying this! Surprised anyone hasn't quit yet honestly.