A/N: Helooooo everyone! I know I said 1-2 weeks, so forgive me for making it 3 weeks instead XD Was prepping for my driving theory test (which I passed thank God). I honestly can't thank each and everyone of you enough for your kind and sweet words on the final chapter. I'm still grinning just thinking about them. Knowing that I managed to shock everyone was insanely satisfying XD Quite a few of you made guesses on where I'd take the story next, I feel this chapter prob provides a good introduction to your queries XD Not the strongest first chapter I apologise, but I hope you like it nonetheless.
6.5 years later:
Katara's POV:
I wait until the patient leaves the room with their prescription in hand before releasing a quiet sigh as I lean my elbow on the desk and rest my cheek against the palm of my hand. My tired eyes flutter to a close as sleep threatens to loom over me.
"Dr Aqua?" My eyelids jerk open as I swivel around on the chair towards the voice. My colleague, Dr Yun Fong, gazes at me in concern as he steps into the consultation room, making sure to close the door behind him. "Are you alright? You look like you're running yourself ragged." He asks with furrowed eyebrows. I give him a half smile and lean against the back rest.
"Having a 5-year old is a lot of work." I answer ruefully as I comb my fingers through my tangled hair. He shoots me a sympathetic glance.
"Oh yes, I do not miss those days." Yun jokes, but his eyes still hold worry for me as he leans against the edge of the desk with crossed arms.
"It might be worth cutting down your hours at work. You really look exhausted." The doctor suggests as he observes me subtly. I release another sigh and shake my head.
"I need the money. You know how expensive children can be." I say with a nonchalant shrug, but the man sees straight through my façade.
"Yatsu is such a good boy though, much better than my girl was at his age. I'm sure he won't mind if you spoil him a little less." Yun tries to reason, but again I shake my head.
"I can't help it, his Dad isn't in the picture and he has no siblings. My brother is busy with his own work so he can't visit all the time and while my Dad looks after him when I'm at work, Yatsu is sharp enough that he can pick up the tension between my Dad and I. The least I can do is spoil him. And it's not like he asks for kid toys, he's so advanced for his age, just like his..." I cut myself off as my heart twists at the thought of the man. Dr Yun purses his lips in thought.
"My proposal is still on the table. I'm happy to let you and your son live with my daughter and I. It would be easier than you managing everything by yourself." He reminds lightly. I shoot him an apologetic smile.
"And I really appreciate the offer. I know I turned you down before, but I won't lie it's a tempting offer. Let me think on it a bit more?" I request meekly which elicits a chuckle from the man.
"Of course. I know I've said this before, but there's really no strings attached. I feel my girl would benefit from a maternal figure in the house and I'd treat Yatsu with a lot of love." Yun reassures with a warm smile. I return the gesture.
"I'm sure you will, my son loves when you bring your daughter around for play dates and he has a lot of respect for you. I just..." I sigh as I cast my eyes down. "...I know I'm technically single again with the divorce papers done, but somehow it still feels wrong to live with another guy. It's ridiculous I know." I confess awkwardly and instead of the offended expression I naively expected, the man pushes himself off the desk to crouch down in front of me.
"That's not ridiculous at all. You've been with your husband for so long. He's the only partner you've ever had in your life. It's natural you'd feel uncomfortable; it doesn't matter that you've been divorced for 5 years. It's hard to make those emotions disappear." Yun soothes as we lock eyes. I cast him a grateful look.
"Thank you for being so understanding Yun. I think I need a little more time to mull over it, but it's not a hard no like last time." I confess with a warm smile. He grins back before rising to his feet.
"Take your time. I don't mind you saying no again anyway. I just feel the extra support will finally give you some time to yourself. We wouldn't want you to burnout." My colleague voices softly. I give him a wry expression.
"Yeah, that wouldn't be good. Anyway, I need to see a couple more patients before my shift ends, so I'll see you later." I bid with a nod. The man waves before leaving the room, making sure to close the door behind him.
I bite my lip as I swivel my chair back to the computer. 'Thinking about this brings back too many unwanted memories. A week after finding out I was pregnant; I received a new set of divorce papers from Aang. It was backdated to the day before we shared our night of intimacy which means this was the decision he made before he lost his memories. So, I knew there was no point in trying to find him because he wouldn't remember anything. To top it off, his signature was already on the paper. It was a bitter blow considering I was carrying his child. I waited for months, thinking maybe he'll regain his memories, but from every report I received from my Dad, it seemed like they were well and truly gone. The old Aang as I knew him would never exist again. So, I signed the papers exactly a year after he lost his memories, in the midst of all my stress and late nights with the baby. It wasn't my smartest move and sometimes I regretted it. But other times like these, I tell myself it's time to move on.'
I sigh as I type a patient number into the computer. 'It doesn't feel fair that Yatsu doesn't have a real family. And I know Yun has had his eye on me for years. He's a nice enough guy to top it off. He said there's no strings attached and I firmly believe he would stick to that, but maybe...maybe it wouldn't be so bad to remarry. The least I could do is give Yatsu a Dad. Not to mention a part of me strongly desires living life as a married couple. My ex-husband and I only spent a year together as a married couple and it was fraught with arguments and tension.'
I purse my lips in thought as I tap my fingers against the desk. 'This would finally be my chance to live the life I wanted. Maybe not with my first-choice husband, but this could work. Holidays, school runs, work shifts together, sharing intimacy with someone again, being a family. Maybe. I still feel hesitant about it though.' I release a long heavy sigh as I tap some more details onto the computer.
I eye the clock at the corner of the room. 'Just two more hours before I can go home.' I try to tell myself as my eyelids feel more and more heavy. I take a deep breath in and force myself to my feet. 'Two hours.' I repeat in a mantra as I go move towards the patient waiting area to call the next person in.
3 hours later:
When I open the door to my house, I'm instantly met with the sound of rushed pattering feet. I look up to find my 5-year-old son running towards me with his arms wide open before he tackles my legs into a big tight hug.
"Mummy!" He hollers in greeting as he presses his face into my knees. My heart melts. It doesn't matter how exhausted I feel, I instantly stoop down to pick him up and return the warm hug in kind.
"Hello my sweet boy. I missed you so much." I whisper as I pull his warm little body into me.
"Mummy that tickles." He giggles as he wraps his chubby arms around my neck.
"My bad pumpkin. Have you been a good boy for your uncle?" I ask as I lean back to catch his eyes. My son grins and nods fervently.
"Yep! I love uncle Sokka." The little boy gushes just as my brother rounds the corner with a warm smile.
"Nice to see you back Katara. Hope work wasn't too gruelling." Sokka jokes as he comes to ruffle his nephew's hair. I shift my hold on the boy so that he rests against my hip as I shoot him a grateful smile.
"Thank you so much for watching over Yatsu." I murmur in appreciation, but the man simply waves his hand to the side.
"Of course. I don't spend enough time with him as it is, so when I can, I will. You know that." Sokka reminds with a grin just as Yatsu starts squirming in my arms. With a sigh I bend down to let him down on the ground and soon he's shooting off into another room. When I straighten up, I find Sokka gazing at my uncomfortably. I frown and tilt my head to the side in confusion.
"What's up? He wasn't too much of a handful I hope?" I ask in worry, but the man is quickly shaking his head and hands in denial.
"Not at all. He was an absolute angel as usual, but..." He pauses to chew his lip as he guides me to another room, out of ear-shot from the child.
"But?" I prompt when Sokka isn't forthcoming with what he has on his mind. I hear him sigh as he leans his back against the wall.
"He's been asking about his Dad." He whispers quietly. I freeze and for several moments forget how to breathe.
"He...has? He's never asked me about him before." I voice, sounding more strained than I would've liked. My brother purses his lips as he scratches the back of his head.
"It was a topic at school today apparently. And even if it wasn't, you know he was bound to ask sooner or later." Sokka reminds pointedly. I cast my gaze to the ground.
"I know that, but...I was hoping I had more time to tell him." I mutter as I subconsciously finger the locket around my neck. Sokka eyes me for a moment before releasing a heavy sigh.
"You should tell him sooner rather than later. This is about him after all." The ponytailed man advises, but I find myself reluctant.
"And tell him what? His Dad lost his memories and has no recollection of his Mum at all? His Dad doesn't even know that he exists! Honestly, I feel Yatsu is better off not knowing." I retort harshly as I cross my arms over my chest. My brother watches me for the longest minute before replying.
"Yatsu is very wise and mature for his age. He's already showing signs of being a genius like his Dad. For him not to know where he comes from would be unfair to him. Besides, he's getting to the age where he'll probably be bending soon, how are you going to explain away that he can Airbend?" Sokka argues as he pushes himself off the wall. I turn my head to the side.
"He might be a waterbender! Or…or he might not be a bender at all. Him being an Airbender is only a one in three chance." I counter, but I know the argument sounds weak, even to my ears. Sokka reaches out to still my fidgeting hand around my neckline.
"That's still a chance. A high one at that. It doesn't matter if his eyes are blue like yours. His face is like looking at a mini-Aang and my gut it telling me that he'll be an Airbender. So, it's better you sit him down for a conversation before that happens." Sokka explains patiently, but I can't find it in myself to agree.
Call it denial, but a part of me refuses to believe that my son belongs to anyone but me. 'To admit to the possibility of him being an Airbender, means I admit that he has a father who doesn't even know about him. The knowledge hurts. It hurts just as much as knowing that Yatsu wasn't even meant to be born. I love him to pieces and he's the best thing that has ever happened to me, but I don't ever want my son to know that he was a mistake and that he wasn't meant to be born. That would be too heavy for him. And I promised myself I'd never let anything bad happen to him, like it did with his father.' At my internal monologue, Sokka sighs and leans back.
"He's only five." I mumble in response. The man raises his eyebrows.
"He's six in a few months. Besides, age doesn't apply to him. He's different." I look away at Sokka's assessment which elicits another heavy exhale from the man. I watch my brother scratch his goatee before moving his hand to rub the back of his neck. His hand drops from mine and I finally look him in the eye with a quiet exhale.
"I can tell there's something you want to say, so say it." I prompt half-heartedly, knowing that it's likely to be something that I don't want to hear, but his fidgeting is not making me feel at ease either.
"When was the last time you talked to Aang?" Sokka's question shoots right out of his mouth and pierces straight through my chest. My fingers curl tightly around my locket. Hearing Aang's name always makes me uncomfortable these days. I'm put into a position where I don't even know how to feel about my ex-husband. Stress, longing, anger, frustration, distance, sadness, a touch of joy maybe. But the negative feelings have far outweighed the good and they have for a very long time.
"What makes you think I've talked to him at all since that day he lost his memories?" I ask sourly as I feel the edge of the locket digging into the palm of my hand from how tightly I'm clutching it. Sokka's jaws clench as he gazes at me intently.
"He's become quite a public figure despite his secret role. He even has a share in a famous jewellery company. I've bumped into him several times over the years in the city and council meetings. Are you telling me you haven't seen him at all since he lost his memories?" Sokka asks incredulously. I swallow and bite the inside of my cheek as I flicker my gaze away, refusing to meet his eyes.
"I..." My throat goes dry. I close my eyes briefly before locking eyes with my brother. "I've seen him a couple of times while I was out and about, but I've never approached him. I don't think he even remembers our one-off meeting in the hotel that day. Honestly, there's no point in talking to him. We're living entirely separate lives." I reply resolutely as a fierce rush of stubbornness envelops me. Sokka shoots me a look of disapproval, but I don't care.
"No point? So, your son isn't enough of a reason for you to talk to his dad?" His words are like a punch to the gut and all that mock bravado vanishes in an instant. I find myself having to lean against the worktop beside me.
"It's the same problem. What would I even tell him? He wouldn't believe me if I said he had a child with me; a woman he doesn't even know. Besides, I thought we agreed that him being happy is important. I'm not what makes him happy and I've accepted that. I'm ready to move on and maybe even marry someone else." I say.
My words sound firm, but some part deep inside me twists sharply at admitting he's happier without me. 'Whenever I see him on TV, he's always so happy, smiling, laughing, joking around. He was hardly like that when we were together.' The thoughts reign havoc on my psyche as I try to breathe normally.
"There's a difference between letting him be happy and purposely hiding something this important from him." Sokka utters seriously. I swallow and drop my gaze.
"I... I'll think about it." Is all I'm able to mutter. Sokka seems to accept that with a nod.
"Now, what's this about marrying someone else? Have someone in mind?" My brother asks curiously as he crosses his arms in a protective brotherly fashion. I puff out my cheeks, already regretting that I let it slip out.
"A colleague at work has offered that we live together with our kids. I turned him down the first time he offered it, but he mentioned it again and... I'm considering it." I admit with a shrug of my shoulders, indicating that it's no big deal. Sokka's eyebrows shoot up to his hairline as he stares at me in disbelief.
"Who is this? Yun?" My brother fires out questions and I struggle not to breathe through my nostrils in frustration.
"Yeah." I answer shortly. The man purses his lips.
"I don't know if you're quite over Aa-" I cut him off before he can mention the Airbender's name.
"I am." I utter firmly. Too firmly. Sokka shoots me down with a dubious look.
"You can't even say his name!" Sokka counters as he taps his foot impatiently. I grit my teeth.
"I can if I wanted to, I just choose not to. Besides, Yun is nice to me. He and Yatsu get along well, as does his daughter. And...I need the help. I don't want to keep asking you or Dad to come and babysit when I'm at work all the time. Besides..." I trail off as I clutch the back of my elbow. "...I want to live as a married woman again. I miss... being close to someone again." I murmur. Sokka wrinkles his nose at that.
"That's a little bit too much information there Katara." He mumbles, but I scowl at him and hit him across the bicep.
"That isn't the only thing I meant and you know it!" I hiss as I glare at him. His shoulders sag and his eyes wander to the side.
"I...know. I think it will be good for you to move on. Spirits knows I've been encouraging you to do it for a long time, but..." My brother pauses to bite his lip. I furrow my eyebrows at him.
"But?" I prompt when he doesn't say anything more for several moments. He releases a heavy sigh.
"I suppose I can't imagine anyone else being my brother-in-law except Aang." His words steal the air out of my lungs. I didn't realise how much of an impact it would have on me as I take a step back in shock. 'That name. It still holds so many emotions, it doesn't matter how long it's been. I suppose it always will.' I chew my lip.
"I... understand. It's not an easy decision, but if Yatsu is asking about his Dad, then this is a good time to give him one." I say with a weak smile, but the man gazes at me sadly.
"Yun will never be able to replace the role that his actual Dad has on his life." Sokka reminds sharply. I narrow my eyes at him.
"Even so, this is the best alternative. I'm going to talk to Yun this week and let him know my decision." I utter with a tone of finality as I turn to leave, but Sokka grabs me by the wrist.
"Don't be too hasty. This isn't a decision that you can just undo." My brother warns seriously. I try to worm my arm out of his grip, but he's too strong.
"Don't you think I know that? I've thought about it. This is the right choice." I voice stubbornly as a resolute fire lights up in my eyes. The ponytailed man observes me intently before sighing.
"I have one request." He whispers. I frown at him.
"I don't think I'm going to like it." I mutter tightly, but the man doesn't crack a smile.
"Talk to Aang before you finalise any official wedding documents." Sokka advises and I go completely still.
"What? I'm not doing that! I told you, there's nothing to say to him! He's practically a stranger at this point!" I yell loudly as I snatch my hand back, but Sokka continues to gaze at me steadily.
"Katara, you can't truly move on without wrapping up the stuff from the past. I'm not asking you to get back together with him. All I'm asking is for you to talk to him. Get everything off your chest so that when you enter in a new marriage, all that baggage won't weigh you down and ruin the new thing you have." At the reasoning of Sokka's words, I find myself deflating. I bite my lip hard before jerking my head up in an awkward nod.
"Fine. But I'm arranging my engagement to Yun first." I voice strongly, at which the man raises his hands defensively.
"Do as you want Katara, I'm not telling you how to lead your life. I'm just advising you. I don't want you to live in a sea of regrets like you have been. It hurts me to see you like that." My brother voices softly and I find the remnants of my anger fading with a sigh as I go to give his hand a reassuring squeeze.
"Ok, I promise to think about everything you've said. I hate to admit it, but you're right." I mumble, but I regret it as soon as a grin reappears on my brother's face.
"It's not often you say that." Sokka teases with a gentle elbow to my side. I roll my eyes.
"I was going to say thank you Sokka, but I don't want it to get to your head. Anyway, you best go to Suki. A pregnant woman is no joke." I remind coyly and that immediately wipes the man's smile off his face as a flash of panic crosses his face.
"Shoot, true. I thought you were bad when you were pregnant, but Suki is something else." Sokka says with a shiver before he makes a run to the exit. "Anyway, tell Yatsu I say bye!" He hollers before closing the door in a rush.
I grin to myself and shake my head. 'That man will never change.' I think fondly as I move to the living room where Yatsu is busy completing a puzzle. I go over to him and crane my neck over his little shoulder. The box at the side says 2000 pieces. I bought it for him yesterday as a gift, but when I catch sight of the puzzle, I find that it's nearly complete, save for two pieces.
I bite back the bile that rises from the back of my throat. 'He's definitely his kid.' I think with a touch of worry. 'If he keeps steamrolling past all the difficult stuff I get him within a day, how am I supposed to keep him entertained? I have no idea what my former husband used to do to keep his genius urge satisfied. And worse still, if this continues, he'll end up being transferred to grades well above his age. He'll standout and be an outcast like his Dad. It might even attract... trouble.' I gulp as a chill of fear runs through my veins. The boy turns and gazes at me with a big toothy smile.
"Mama look! I almost finished the puzzle you got me!" He voices with a huge beam on his face. I push back all my concerns and reach forward to give him a big hug.
"That's my special brilliant boy." I coo as I let my pride for my son take centre stage in my mind. He giggles and returns the hug briefly before picking up the penultimate piece.
"Mama, what were you and uncle Sokka talking about?" Yatsu asks with innocent eyes. I freeze before forcing myself to relax as I unwind my arms around him.
"Just what he'd think about us moving in with Mr Yun." I say casually to gauge the boy's reaction. His eyes widen almost comedically as he jumps to his feet and turns to face me properly.
"Wait really?!" My son yells with barely concealed excitement. I give him a smile.
"I'm still thinking about it, but I wanted to know your thoughts. It's both of our decisions after all." I explain warmly. He jumps up and down as he becomes more ecstatic.
"That means we'll live altogether? Even with his daughter, Fuki?" He asks as his eyes widen even more with a clear plea in his eyes. I chuckle and ruffle his hair.
"Yes altogether, like a family." I confirm. My words cause the boy to slow his jumping as he gazes up at me with a tilted head.
"A family?" He echoes back, sounding slightly confused. I nod my head.
"Yes. If I married Yun, he'd be like your Dad and Fuki would be like your sister." I explain, but the excitement that was previously on his face starts to fade away as he sits down in thought.
I bite the inside of my cheek. 'Maybe I should've waited to talk to him, especially since he was just asking about his own Dad.' I wonder in half-panic. I watch as he purses his lips anxiously.
"What's wrong? Do you not like the sound of that?" I ask as I reach forward to hold his hand. He shakes his head in denial.
"It's not that, but I want to know my Dad before having a new one." Yatsu explains innocently. I'm taken aback by how bold his statement is and find myself conflicted on what to say.
"There's nothing to know. He's not around." I reply vaguely, but my son locks his eyes intently with mine. 'His eyes might be blue like mine, but the shape of his eyes? His eyebrows and eyelashes? The intensity of his gazes? They're all...him.'
"Did he die?" My son blurts out. I cringe. 'If I said yes, it would be such a simple cover up story, but... lying to my son feels so much worse than I thought it would be.' I look away, unable to stand how much he looks like the man he's asking about. The thought fills me with shame, but it's so hard sometimes.
"No. He's alive." I answer. My reply is short and to the point. It's enough of a hint to the advanced boy to drop the subject. When I glance back at him, his gaze his downcast, disappointed even. I chew my lip, hating to see him so sad.
"Why isn't he here then?" His whisper is quiet, but it still makes my heart thud loudly against my ribcage. A lump appears at the back of my throat and I find myself unable to answer him. When the little boy looks up, worry flashes across his face as he jumps up to wrap his small arms around my neck. "I'm sorry mummy, I didn't mean to make you sad." He apologises profusely and I can hear he's seconds away from crying himself. 'Grab a hold of yourself Katara, you're meant to be his Mum.' I scowl at myself silently as I return the hug.
"No, no darling. You didn't make me sad. I just...don't like talking about it is all." I admit quietly as I pat his back several times before pulling him back to examine his face. 'Dry eyes. Good. I didn't muck up too badly then.'
"Is he a bad..." The boy cuts himself with a head shake. "Never mind. I'd be happy to have Dr Yun as a Dad and especially Fuki as a sister." Yatsu says with a smile, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.
I struggle hard with what to say next. His unfinished question is easy to complete. Is he a bad person. 'He had a lot of flaws, but...I can hardly call him a bad person. Had he not lost his memories, I'm sure I would've stuck with him unless he ran away. Even if all his lying drove me mad. I still...would've wanted us to be a family, at the very least for Yatsu's sake. I know I should dispel the notion and imagery that's likely bubbling in his little head, but I can't bring myself to say the words.'
"Are you sure? We can wait until you are." I suggest gently. My son lifts his eyes to me and for the longest moment it feels like he's observing me, as if he sees something that I'm unaware of. He shakes his head.
"No need to wait. It will be cool to have a bigger family." Yatsu says with a wider smile and large eyes, but it's lost the spark it had before. I bite my lip.
"What about this? We start the engagement process and move in. If you like it, we'll proceed to arranging a wedding to make the marriage official. If it feels like something is missing, we can move back out to here and forget the whole thing. What do you think?" I offer in the hopes that it would regain the joy I had seen in him earlier. It works because his grin becomes more genuine and he nods vigorously.
"I like that plan!" He squeals with a thumbs up. I laugh and pull him in for a hug.
"Then it's a deal." I murmur as I rest my chin on top of his head. I hear him giggle and I find myself lost in the sound of it. Tugging at an almost distant fading memory that I can't quite place.
A/N: Sorry for the long monologue parts, I couldn't figure out how else to tell you guys where we were at with the story since we've fast-forwarded a few years. Hope it wasn't too clunky. Yatsu…anyone who read Painful Education might know why I chose the name – slight spelling difference, but I'll explain that later on in the story. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this first chapter! It's a bit more bumpy than I realised, so forgive me. I'm currently writing chapter 16, so we're in for a kinda long one again XD
Updates will be fortnightly I think. Feel like weekly might be a stretch for me lol, but who knows maybe you guys will motivate me enough to push for weekly XD Till next time everyone!
21/6/24