A/N: I'm not dead! Yet. Honestly, sorry doesn't do you guys justice for how apologetic I am for how late this update is, it's been like a month which is bad considering how regular I've mostly been with this story. Good thing there aren't that many chapters left huh? Anyway, I'm really sorry guys for taking so long, I don't really have much excuse than being tired, how do normal people get through Mon-Fri weeks is beyond me hehe. It's ok tho, I'm still having a blast at work! XD I hope you all have been keeping well and are thriving in life XD I've missed you all. Sorry for my horrific reply times too…
I seriously, seriously deliberated on cutting this chapter in two and to be honest that was my preference, but a lot of you wanted the longer chapter (which doesn't surprise me XD) and also since I've been gone for so long I felt this was the only way I could aplogise, so here ya go – enjoy!
Review responses:
KatAangForevermorjojo02: oh gosh even more time has passed! I hope not too much has been forgotton, maybe this chapter will make up for it? XD Thank you so much, your words always warms me up.
Latte28: my reply won't do your review justice, but just know I really appreciate you always going through scenes you enjoyed and your thoughts on certain moments. Oh gosh I wouldn't be that cruel for Katara to hide his son's birthday XD Yes exactly! You'll be able to tell she's healed when she's accepted the L word XD I hope you enjoy this chapter, forgive the short reply.
Vapor23: Ooof Aang really got it handed to him XD I'm not sure if this chapter sheds more light or dark on him…maybe a it of both? Altho I'll leave that to you to decide. No I agree, no point saying words if the actions go against them! Hope you enjoy this one man XD
A: Haha always happy to hear from ya man, short or long XD Hehe you got your wish, hope you enjoy it XD You said we'd finish around New year's and that had me laughing with irony at my terrible updating recently haha.
Haneypots: I'm not surprised considering how irregular my updates have become / You've got a long one tho to somewhat make up for it XD Haha I love your line picks! XD Long chapter granted! XD
Avatarzilla: haha it's called painful for a reason XD but dw it will be worth it I promise! I hope hehe XD
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Wednesday Evening:
Aang's POV:
My knee is bumping up and down anxiously, as one eye is glued to the clock and the other is fixed on the police officer who's droning on about no leads, despite it being days. I bite my lip. 'Shoot. I thought I would've wrapped up by now, but it's been such slow progress and we haven't got anywhere yet.'
"Do I really need to be here?" I interrupt, sounding a lot more impatient than I should've. The officer blinks in surprise.
"You were sent by the council, weren't you? You'll have to stay for a few more days to fill in the paper work while the investigation continues on. Might be worth updating the family members too, although I could probably do that." The officer replies, but my jaw clenches.
"Days?! I don't have that kind of time. I need to go back home tonight." I stress firmly as the officer quirks an eyebrow.
"I'm sorry, but that's just the process and since you're here in the council's stead, you have to wait until we've sorted out the paper work." The man explains. I bite my lip and massage my forehead.
"Are we done today?" I ask rudely. The officer purses his lips and nods.
"If you weren't keen in picking up the job, you should've passed it onto someone else." The man mutters impatiently as he spins on his heels and heads to his car. I exhale heavily.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude." I mumble just as the officer enters his car. He spares me a glance and shrugs.
"Comes with the job. Go get some rest." The man replied as he shuts his car door.
I wait until he's out of sight before airbending myself up into the air and jumping from roof to roof. I stop when I reach the house I'm staying at and slip through the window before closing it behind me. 'Shoot. I'm not going to make it for Yatsu's birthday.' I curse silently as I drop into the nearest chair.
I glance at my phone. Katara sent a text asking if I'd be able to make it a few hours ago, but I haven't been able to bring myself to reply to her. I chew my lip and glance at the time again. 2am. 'She's probably asleep by now.' I think to myself as I hover over her name.
I groan aloud as my hand subconsciously clenches around the device. I hear a ringing sound a few moments later and with wide eyes I realise I've accidentally clicked on her name. In a panic I'm just about to stop the call when suddenly I hear her voice on the other end.
"Hello?" The tired feminine voice sounds out and with a swallow, I press the phone to my ear.
"Er hi?" I greet unsurely. I hear something rustle in the background and suddenly I feel guilty. "Spirits, I woke you up, didn't I?" I query guiltily. She doesn't reply for a moment.
"No, no. I was already awake." The waterbender answers, but there's something in her tone that has me frowning.
"At 2am?" I ask in surprise. She sighs on the other end.
"Couldn't sleep." I hear her mumble and my frown deepens.
"How come?" I query as I press the phone into my ear.
"Nothing to worry about. So, what's up?" Katara asks as I hear her shift again. I bite my lip and deliberate for a moment before clicking on video call. The woman's face appears on the screen. She appears distracted, but when she glances at her phone she blinks and her lips part. "Did you switch the call to video?" The waterbender queries as she picks up the phone from where she must've set it down.
"Sorry. Is that ok?" I apologise sheepishly. Her eyebrows furrow slightly before she leans back and I belatedly realise she's sitting up in bed. Her hand goes to pull at her nightgown and I flush when I realise the strap has dropped down her shoulder.
"Maybe give me a heads-up next time?" Katara suggests lightly as her hand rests on her shoulder. I realise why a moment later. The quality of the camera feed isn't great, but I can just make out the burn scars. I furrow my eyebrows at the sight.
"Do they bother you?" I whisper. Confusion flickers across her face before she realises what I'm referring to and her hand instantly drops from the joint.
"A little, but you didn't call about that. Have you managed to wrap up work?" The waterbender asks, changing the subject. I purse my lips, but decide not to press it as I release a sigh.
"No. I'm needed here for a few more days." I confess, but the doctor doesn't appear at all surprised as she shifts again to rest her back against the headboard of the bed.
"I see." Katara hums back before biting her lip.
"I'm going to pass the job to someone else. It doesn't really have to be me here." I decide as the woman rubs her eye.
"If that's ok with the council, then sure. Let me know when you'll drop by; I was planning to take Yatsu out to the amusement park." The waterbender voices as she drops her hand from her face. I purse my lips as I scrutinise her as best as I can through the camera lens.
"Are you managing ok? You look really tired." I note as concern leaks into my tone. I watch as her eyes flutter to a close as she rests her head against the wall.
"Still readjusting not being at Yun's. I forgot how much work solo parenting was." Katara murmurs quietly. A flash of jealousy shamefully surges through me, but it's only brief given how the concern dominates through me.
"You should've told me, I'd have come down to help." I murmur as I watch her rub her eyes again.
"You know I couldn't let you miss work. Besides its fine, my dad chipped in when my sho...anyway, it's been fine." Katara backtracks on whatever she was going to say, but her unfinished sentence is enough of an indication. I sit up properly with alarm.
"Wait, your shoulder is still bothering you?" I ask as worry flares up within me. The woman's eyes flicker to the side as she replies.
"It's nothing to worry about. It will take time to heal." Katara downplays, but it does little to alleviate my concern.
"But it's been weeks already." I point out as I raise the phone closer to my eyes. Katara notices and drops her phone slightly in response until all I can see is just her face. Her eyes dart away from mine.
"Seriously, it's nothing to worry about." She insists but an icy chill runs down my spine. Something is off. I can feel it. Something she isn't telling me.
"But...!" I start, only to be cut off.
"I should head to bed, its getting late. Text me when you know whether you'll be down tomorrow." Katara voices as her hands reaches to end the call.
"How's Yatsu?" I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind just to stop her from hanging up. Her hand hovers over the camera lens for a moment before it disappears and is replaced by her face. I spot the way she chews her lip before answering me.
"He's...ok. I guess he's more upset about you not being around than we thought he would be." The waterbender explains as I furrow my eyebrows.
"In what way? He isn't having tantrums, is he?" I ask in worriedly, but when she shakes her head, I find myself leaning back in relief.
"No, but...I don't know. He's become really withdrawn and I've caught him yawning a lot lately. I had wondered if he's not getting enough sleep, but every time I've checked up on him, he's out like a light. Maybe it's just a phase." Katara murmurs to herself, but there's something about it that doesn't sit right with me.
"Hmm maybe." I hum to myself just as Katara peers closer at her phone.
"Why, do you have any ideas?" The waterbender queries with a frown. I blink twice and shrug.
"I don't know, I just...I realised I've never talked to him about what happened." I admit, but confusion remains etched on the woman's features.
"What are you referring to?" Katara asks with pursed lips and I cringe at having to voice it aloud.
"I mean...he was there when you...you.." I stop to swallow as my throat closes up with emotion at recalling how close Katara was to dying. The waterbender's frown deepens as she pulls her phone closer to her.
"Aang?" Hearing my name voiced so softly on her lips is enough to pull me out of the haunting memory. I crack her a small smile.
"It's nice that you're not so opposed to say my name when it counts." I joke dryly, but her face remains serious.
"What were you going to say?" Katara's question is direct and I realise I'm beating around the bush. I bite my lip as I bend my right knee and draw it into my chest before moving to rest my chin on my knee cap.
"He saw you when you were stabbed." I whisper. I hear her breathing catch as her eyes widen in horror.
"Oh spirits! I completed forgot he was there. Shoot. Double Shoot! I should go talk to him." Katara rambles in a panic as she starts to shift off her bed.
"He's probably already asleep now. I'll be back tomorrow and we can talk to him together then." I suggest, but the waterbender doesn't look convinced.
"That's not the type of conversation we should be having with him on his birthday." Katara points out as her lips thin in displeasure. I part my lips before closing them.
"Oh right." I mumble sheepishly. "Sorry, this parenting thing is still kind of new to me." I utter in embarrassment and her features soften a fraction as she shakes her head.
"No, I'm sorry I snapped. I'm just anxious and tired. I'll raise it with him in a couple of days and just keep an eye on him in the meantime, but...yeah I'm sure having you here would perk him up." Katara voices with a small smile and it's enough to make my heart flutter.
"Yeah of course. I'll...see you both tomorrow." I bid and wait until the woman switches off the call before finally tearing my eyes away from the dark phone screen.
"Spirits. I want her to be mine again." I whisper as I close my eyes and flop back on my mattress. 'I never should've sent her those divorce papers.' I silently rebuke myself as I re-open my eyes. 'I thought the memory loss was as good as permanent. I didn't think they'd come back. I didn't think I'd be this bad at moving on from her.'
I release a loud sigh before hopping to my feet. 'I promised I wouldn't raise it with her again, but...giving up on her isn't an option either. Katara might be single again, but that doesn't mean someone else won't stumble into the picture again.' I chew my lip and pick up my phone with the intention to call the council to send someone else, not caring that I might receive an ear full, but I can't wait.
12 hours Later - Lunch time:
I'm breathing heavily from all the rushing I've been doing and I'm just about to ring the doorbell when the front door swings open. Yatsu's eyes were initially glued to the floor but when he glances up and spots me, his eyes widen and his face splits into a grin.
"Daddy!" The boy yells as he airbends himself off the floor. I catch him in my arms and hug him close.
"I'm sorry buddy I'm late for your birthday." I whisper as I rest my cheek against the crown of his head.
"How did you know?" Yatsu whispers as he looks up at me with those blue oceanic eyes of his mother's.
"Your Mum mentioned it." I admit sheepishly and when Yatsu turns, I realise Katara has hung back as she hugs her arm close to her side.
"Sorry I didn't call. Traffic was bad and I had to sort out some last-minute work stuff." I apologise as I shift Yatsu to my right. The waterbender shakes her head as she closes the gap between us.
"You're not late. We were literally just about to leave for the amusement park now." Katara discloses smoothly and I sigh in relief.
"Daddy, will you come?" My son queries quietly with big round hopeful eyes. I grin and ruffle his hair with a gentle breeze of air.
"Of course, I'm yours for the whole day." I confirm with a grin. Excitement brews in the boy's eyes, but he flickers his gaze to his Mum, as if silently asking her for permission. Katara notices and reaches forward to tussle his hair.
"Sounds good to me." The waterbender confirms with a soft smile as she presses a kiss to our son's cheek. My breathing catches at the proximity and it takes everything in me not to lean forward myself. Katara must've noticed a beat later as she immediately straightens herself up and averts her eyes from mine. Yatsu's gaze darts between his mother and I before he purses his lips.
"Is...is Mummy and Daddy going to fight?" The boy whispers, sounding dejected and our eyes widen simultaneously as we shake our heads vigorously.
"No!" Katara and I blurt out at the same time, but when we catch each other's eyes, Katara prompts looks away.
"Sweetie, today is your day. We'll both be on our best behaviour." The waterbender vows as she rests her hand against the boy's cheek who scrutinises her for a moment before perking up again.
"Yay! Thank you Mummy." Yatsu beams just as someone appears behind Katara.
"Oh great, you're here. I'll get the car started." Sokka utters and I blink in surprise at his presence.
"You're coming too?" I ask, sounding more baffled than I probably should've been if Sokka's offended expression is anything to go by.
"I'll have you know I've never missed my nephew's birthday!" Sokka replies, sounding clearly miffed and I cringe at the indirect jab. Katara elbows him in the side and he notices a few moments later. "I...mean, I'm sure you wouldn't have either if you hadn't lo-" Sokka stammers, only to receive a swift punch to the arm from his sister who shoots him a glare. Her brother clamps his jaws closed as he side-steps me. "I'll...just go start the car." Sokka grumbles as he disappears out of sight. I hear Katara exhale heavily while Yatsu just looks confused.
"What was Uncle Sokka trying to say?" The boy queries with furrowed eyebrows and I find my chest squeezing in discomfort.
"Nothing you need to worry about." Katara answers swiftly. Yatsu stick his bottom lip out in disappointment.
"But Mama..." He argues, only for the waterbender to ruffle his hair again.
"Come on sweetheart, we don't want to be late to the amusement park." Katara deftly evades and the boy widens his eyes in alarm as he shifts in my arms. I take that as an indication to put him down on the ground and no sooner has he left my arms he starts racing towards Sokka's car.
"Come on Mummy, Daddy! We have to see all the rides before they close!" Yatsu yells as he hops up and down. I chuckle at the sight just as Katara releases a sigh in relief.
"Expertly dodged." I whisper which pulls a half smile from the woman.
"That's what happens when you spend time with an Airbender." Katara jokes lightly back, but her eyes are drawn inwards, as if stuck in the past. I know I'm crossing a line, but I move to grasp her hand and tug her alongside me towards the car.
"Come on then, you heard the birthday boy. We can't be late." I remind with a twinkle in my eyes, stunning the waterbender as she follows along wordlessly. By the time we've reached the car, Yatsu is already seated and buckled up. I slip my hand out of the woman's hand before she can comment on it, but I still feel her eyes on me.
"Mummy, Daddy sit with me!" Our son demands. My eyes slide to Katara who shrugs her shoulder.
"I'll go in first." I hear her voice as she slides into the chair. I swallow and follow suit, closing the door behind us just as Sokka starts the car.
"Alright, amusement park here we come!" Sokka announces as he pulls the car out of the driveway and onto the main road.
The whole ride, I try hard to ignore how close I am to the waterbender, but her side is so tightly pressed into mine that I have to mentally count backwards from one million in an attempt to distract myself. 'If I had known Sokka's car was this small, I would've suggested taking mine or Katara's.' I think silently as I watch the mother-son duo playing a game of I-Spy.
I smile softly as Katara reaches forward to tickle Yatsu's tummy. But I notice a beat later that she's only using her left arm. 'That doesn't have to mean anything.' I try to convince myself, but I can't help watching her the entire time until we reach the park. It's only when we slide out of the car, does Katara pause to lean into me.
"Try not to make the staring too obvious. I don't want Yatsu or my brother getting the wrong idea." Katara whispers and I find myself flushing bright red.
"T-Thats not what I was doing!" I stammer in protest. Katara quirks a dubious eyebrow before sliding out of the car after Yatsu.
"If you say so." The waterbender throws back over her shoulder and it takes everything in me not to continue my protest when Yatsu glances behind him curiously. I grumble under my breath and exit the car, closing the door after me just as I catch sight of Sokka grinning a little too widely.
"What?" I mumble as I come to stand beside him.
"Oh nothing." The man replies with a grin. "Hey Yatsu, what ride do you want to go on first?" Sokka queries as he turns to his nephew who jumps up and down and points at the bumper carts.
"That one!" The boy pleads and soon we're dragged off towards the attraction. I glance at the cars which only seats two people.
"I..." I start, but Sokka cuts across me before I can continue.
"I'll take Yatsu in a cart and you two take another." The ponytailed man suggests as he takes Yatsu's hand who gazes up at his uncle curiously before grinning. Katara and I exchange a glance before she promptly opens her mouth.
"I mean, if you want to take Yatsu on the carts, we can just wait here and watch?" The waterbender proposes, but the boy shakes his head vigorously.
"We all have to play!" The child demands and with a quiet exhale, the woman glances up at me.
"I guess we're a pair then." Katara utters hesitantly. I give her a smile in the hopes it will reassure her, but it's obvious that she's still reluctant to be near me when it's not absolutely necessary. I bite back my disappointment and slip into the first available bumper car. Katara follows suit a few moments later. Once we're both strapped in, I take the wheel and manoeuvre us around, passing by Yatsu and Sokka in the process.
"Bumper cart!" The boy yells and I furrow my eyebrows for a moment until I feel a bang behind us. My whole body vibrates forward and when I glance behind me, I spot another apologetic parent who bows their head and takes the steering wheel from their energetic child.
"Oh, so this is what they meant by a bumper cart." I utter dryly which prompts a surprised inhale from the woman beside me as she leans forward to catch my eyes.
"You've never been on one before?" Katara asks with raised eyebrows as she raises a hand to settle it on her shoulder. I shrug.
"No. Never had the chance to do all the kid stuff I probably should've done." I admit, but I kick myself when I see her face fall. "I'm guessing you have?" I add in a rush, to distract her from my depressing past.
"Yeah, Sokka and I used to go lots. I'd always get annoyed because he'd bump into my cart on purpose multiple times." Katara recalls with a laugh as she mindlessly massages the joint.
"Sounds like you enjoyed it." I note with a grin and she gives me a wry smile before dropping her hand from her shoulder.
"I guess I did. He always did make sure to buy me a hotdog after as an apology." The waterbender murmurs. I open my mouth to reply, but am distracted when our cart is hit again, this time by the man in question.
"Sorry, that was my bad!" Sokka calls out apologetically as he steers the wheel back and their cart goes off to the other side. I snort, but when I turn to Katara, I find her holding onto her shoulder once more. My eyes widen in realisation.
"Oh shoot, this probably isn't the best ride for you." I mutter as I go to stretch out my hand towards her, but my hesitation is too great and I drop my hand back to my lap as I scan the woman in concern.
"It's fine, Yatsu loves this ride and I wouldn't want to be a party pooper on his own birthday." Katara waves off, but the grimace on her face is enough to tell me that the bumps are hurting her more than she's trying to let on. I purse my lips and grab the wheel to manoeuvre us towards the edge.
"We can just wait it out here until they're done." I suggest as the waterbender purses her lips.
"I suppose." She concurs quietly as she leans back against the chair.
I can't help but watch her as her eyes flutter to a close. 'I'd do anything just to wrap her in my arms and shoulder all of her burdens, but I lost that privilege a long time ago. And I don't know if I'll be able to regain her trust or restore what we once had.' I blink when she releases a quiet exhale as she opens one eye.
"I told you to stop staring." Katara mumbles and with a flush, I turn my head away.
"S-sorry." I stutter, not bothering to deny the fact that I was indeed staring. I hear her sigh again as she opens her other eye to observe me.
"Have something on your mind?" She prompts lightly and I find myself biting my lip before turning my head back towards her.
"Remember when you asked me a bunch of questions when you realised my memories came back?" I say suddenly, surprising the woman as she sits up properly with a weary look in her eyes.
"Yes?" She replies unsurely. I blow out a breath before continuing.
"I never had the chance to reply to them." I voice and watch as her eyebrows bunch together tightly. I open my mouth to continue, but stop when Katara rests a hand on my knee.
"Maybe not when we're in public during the middle of a kid's ride?" Katara suggests dryly and I flush when I realise some passerby's are throwing us curious looks.
"Oh right. My bad." I falter with an embarrassed laugh as I rub my neck nervously. The waterbender notices and gives my knee a light squeeze.
"We'll find some time to talk." Katara reassures as she pats my knee before pulling away. I so desperately want to catch her hand in mine, but I promised I wouldn't cross any boundaries and so all I can do is nod my head numbly.
"Thanks." I murmur as the woman gives me a half smile before crossing her arms over her chest.
"Nothing to thank me for." Katara voices off-handedly, but I can't help but beam.
"Still." I breathe back and the waterbender glances at me before sagging her shoulders slightly.
"I've been putting it off, so there's really nothing to thank me about." The doctor mumbles, but if anything that's enough of an indication that she's willing to take a step forward and talk now. I bite back the grin that's threatening to split my face and opt to lean back against the chair.
"Mummy! Daddy! Have you finished playing?" A young voice calls out and I turn to find the boy waving at us as he stands next to his uncle, already off the ride. I grin and wave back.
"Guess that's our cue to finish up too." I say as I stand up. Katara flickers her eyes to her son to give him a warm smile before moving to stand. I notice she's still using her left hand more to help her up and with a bite of my lip, I hook my arm around her elbow and help her up. She blinks in surprise and turns to me with parted lips, an obvious protest written on them.
"I know, I know. You could've done it yourself. Doesn't mean I didn't want to help." I cut in before she has the chance to voice her thoughts and her lips promptly close with a sigh.
"Alright. Erm, thank you." Katara murmurs as I unhook our arms. I beam and wait for her to exit the cart first before following after. Yatsu is glancing between the two of us suspiciously before he starts grinning.
"I like it when you get along together." The boy announces happily and I release an awkward chuckle just as Katara grimaces.
"Sorry about that, honey. We'll try to be better behaved." Katara murmurs as she reaches for the boy's hand who's eyes sparkle with hope.
"Uncle Sokka said he wanted to show me the Water Tribe boat ride over there. There's only one boat, but we can take it in turns!" Yatsu announces.
"Sounds like fun. Why don't you go on it first?" I suggest just as Sokka and Yatsu exchange a glance. I quirk my eyebrow at the exchange which only rises higher when Yatsu tugs me forward.
"That's ok! You and Mummy go first!" The boy insists and it instantly clicks what he and Sokka is trying to do here. I chance a glance at the waterbender who's furrowing her eyebrows as she gazes at her son sceptically.
"Are you sure? It's your birthday, you should be enjoying yourself." Katara queries, but Yatsu is soon tugging her in the direction of the boat ride.
"I'm sure!" Yatsu persists as he gives me and his mother a light push forward. I try to hold back a snicker as we start walking towards the boat, but the contemplation on Katara's face makes it hard for me to keep silent. I feel her eyes on me when I cough loudly as we board the boat and it's only when the boat has set sail does the waterbender turn towards me with crossed arms.
"Don't tell me you set this up with him." Katara utters dryly. I widen my eyes and raise my hands in defence while shaking my head vigorously.
"Whatever is going on in that boy's head is beyond me. I think he and Sokka must've been talking." I explain calmly. Katara eyes me dubiously for several moments before unfolding her arms slowly.
"If you say so." She grumbles as she flickers her gaze to the horizon. I bite my lip, before deciding to bite the bullet.
"This ride is half an hour long." I state off-handedly which earns me a glimpse from the waterbender.
"Which means?" She probes, as if sensing I had something more behind my words. I inhale deeply before replying.
"Can we talk?" I ask, my voice sounding smaller than I would've liked. Katara releases a breath from her parted lips before turning to face me properly.
"I guess so." The woman mumbles as she rests her hip against the boat's ledge.
I blink twice, making sure I've heard her right, since every time I've wanted to open this particular conversation she has shut me down each time. She notices that I've stayed silent for a while and furrows her eyebrows in confusion.
"What?" Katara queries with a frown. I try to crack a smile, but I'm overcome with too much emotion to manage more than a small twitch of my lips. She pushes herself off the ledge as concern starts to etch itself into her features. It's enough to make me get a better grip on my emotions.
"I'm just happy that you don't mind talking now." I admit with a half-smile which takes the woman by surprise as her lips part to release a quiet 'oh'. Her hand goes to clutch the back of her elbow as she continues to watch me.
"I...I guess talking was never our strong suit." Katara mumbles as she goes back to leaning against the ledge again. I crack a rueful smile before crossing my arms.
"I guess not." I agree as I chew my lip. "Listen about what you asked me before...I know I should've told you and I don't have a good reason for not telling you other than knowing that you'd be mad. I didn't want our last moments together for you to be angry at me. I-I never intended for anything to escalate, but when I tripped over you, I...I realised how much I treasured our relationship and..." I trail off, struggling to put my feelings into words. I watch as Katara closes her eyes briefly with a soft exhale before she returns her gaze on me.
"You're right. I definitely would've been mad, but still. That's what you do in a marriage, you talk to each other, even if you don't think the other person will like it. If we just keep hiding everything from each other, were we even a real couple?" Katara whispers and it sends a pained pang through my chest. I swallow, but refuse to avert my gaze.
"I made mistakes. I know. But my love for you was 100% real and genuine. I don't want you to think anything I did was ever not out of love for you." I try to convey, but the woman bites her lip unsurely.
"Aang, I know that." Katara whispers. The admission, coupled with hearing my name on her lips has my heart pounding against my ribcage as I gaze at her. The woman runs a hand through her hair, as if figuring out what to say. "I'm still hurt over what happened, but with the way you were back then... let's say I shouldn't have been surprised that you didn't tell me anything. It doesn't mean it was easy though. And now that your memories are back it feels like it was all in vain." Katara mutters as she massages her forehead. I part my lips before making the daring move of taking a step towards her.
"It wasn't in vain though." I whisper, prompting the waterbender to flicker her eyes back to me with a slight frown.
"Wasn't it?" She fires back. I chew my lip for a moment before replying.
"I'm not saying losing my memories fixed my past. It hasn't. But having that break from the trauma was something I needed. It put a lot of things into perspective. I..." I pause to take a deep breath before continuing. "I'll always miss my parents, Gyatsu and Roku. I'll always feel guilty over what happened to them, but..." I trail off as I try to find the right words as the doctor cocks her head to one side.
"But?" The waterbender probes gently when I'm silent for too long.
"But I feel like I can live with it now. Before, I really struggled to accept the past. But now that I've seen that I can be happy, genuinely happy with life without them in it. It doesn't feel like a weight as much as it used to. And with Yatsu around, I don't feel so alone anymore. I had people in my life before, but I was too closed off to see them, like Sokka for instance. He even wants me to be the godfather for his unborn child. And...I know things between us are broken, but I know I can still count on you when I need to." I explain haltingly as an unbidden surge of emotion runs through me. I can feel Katara's eyes on me as she scans me closely while chewing her lip.
"So, all those thoughts before about the...suicide are gone?" Her voice drops to a strained whisper and I flinch at remembering how close I was to the edge before my memories were wiped.
"They aren't at the forefront of my mind. And with Yatsu around, I don't think I could ever physically bring myself to do something so terrible to him when I've already been absent from his life for as long as I have." I answer truthfully and it's almost as if the waterbender doesn't believe me as her gaze never wavers from scrutinising me. After the longest time, she releases a quiet sigh.
"If...if you ever felt those thoughts again, would you be able to tell someone? It doesn't need to be me, just as long as I know you can talk to someone, even my brother, would be enough." Katara whispers and in her eyes I can see the buried signs of fear and anxiety and it surprises me. 'After all these years, she still remembers? And not only that, but she's worried. For me.' Warmth blooms inside my chest as I give her a nod.
"I can. I... I'll tell you." I murmur. Her eyes widen a fraction before softening slightly.
"Alright. And the self-h..." She starts, but I don't let her finish.
"Never again. As I said, I've seen what life is like without resorting to that type of behaviour." I utter firmly, so firmly that it takes the woman by surprise, but her face falls a little. I furrow my eyebrows. "What's wrong?" I press when she says nothing for several moments. I watch as she shakes her head.
"Sorry, just a little lost in my thoughts. I guess...I'm happy you've had a happy few years, it's just I wish..." The waterbender's trails off as she shakes her head. "Never mind." She mumbles, but if anything that makes me want to know more as I close the distance between us.
"You wish what?" I echo back calmly. Katara averts her eyes.
"I wish I was the one who made you that happy." Katara replies softly and my heart rate spikes once more at her admission.
"You..." I start, but before I can say anything more the ride ends and I spot both Yatsu and Sokka waving. I bite my lip, but when I turn to Katara she's already making her way off the ride. I silently curse before begrudgingly exiting the ride after her.
"Mummy, I want to go on the rollercoaster next!" Yatsu exclaims while bouncing on the balls of his feet. The waterbender blinks before frowning.
"I thought you didn't like the rollercoasters? And what about the boat ride, didn't you want to go on that next?" Katara reminds mildly, but the boy shakes his head.
"Uncle Sokka took me on another ride while we waited for you. And..." The child cuts himself off as he chews his lip. Both Katara and I frown in confusion until the woman reaches forward to rest her hand against the boy's cheek briefly.
"What about we go on the tea-cups? That way we can all sit together." The doctor suggests and a wave of relief washes over the child's face as he nods his head enthusiastically.
"Yes please!" Yatsu agrees as he races ahead of us, leaving Katara and I staring. After a moment, the waterbender turns to her brother with narrowed eyes.
"Alright Sokka, what did you tell him?" Katara demands with a hand on her hip. Her brother gulps before rubbing the back of his neck.
"Who me? Not a thing." The ponytailed man lies and I cross my arms.
"You're lying." I utter dryly, pulling the siblings' attention towards me. Katara gaze skirts from mine after a moment while Sokka shoots me a sheepish gaze.
"We just thought it would be good if we gave you two some space to talk is all." Sokka admits with an awkward laugh just as Katara releases a frustrated sound.
"Sokka, I told you not to meddle in my life and roping my son into it makes it worse." Katara berates sharply and I watch as the man's shoulders sag.
"Katara-" Sokka starts, only to be cut off by the loud speaker.
"Attention everyone, the park is closing early today for a scheduled event. Please make your way to the park exit. We apologise for any inconvenience this may have caused. Thank you." I blink twice at the announcement and cast my gaze over the duo who are pursing their lips. Before I have the chance to speak, Yatsu comes racing back with disappointment on his face.
"I thought the park would stay open for a little longer." The boy mumbles. I bite my lip before crouching down and lifting him up.
"Come on, let's get you a birthday meal and some cake." I suggest, but Katara taps me on the elbow.
"We've set up a birthday party at home for him." The waterbender whispers. I blink in surprise before grinning and nodding my head.
"What do you say buddy, ready for a celebration?" I query and the boy perks up a little as he nods his head. I take that as my cue to shift him to my shoulders as we walk back to the car.
1 Hour Later:
At Katara's House:
I'm nestled in between Yatsu on my right and Hakoda on my left at the dining table. Next to Yatsu is Katara who's just finished handing him all his presents which the boy has managed to rip open in no time. I chew my lip for the longest time, wondering if the gift I bought him that's sitting behind my back is appropriate considering all the toys and science gifts Katara and her family bought him.
Just as Yatsu reaches for the cake, I feel a nudge from Hakoda. When I glance at him in confusion, he motions to the small unwrapped present I'm hiding behind my back. I bite my lip before finally pulling it out from behind my back and settling it on the table. The action catches both Katara's and Yatsu's attention as they blink in sync. Yatsu's eyes widen as he stares at the small present.
"Daddy...is that for me?" Yatsu asks quietly as he glances up at me. I give him a sheepish smile and nod.
"It is. Sorry it's so small." I answer with an awkward chuckle, but the boy's face lights up as he picks up the gift. I chance a glance at the waterbender who's giving me a small smile of approval and I release a quiet sigh in relief. 'I didn't have as much time as I hoped to browse for a gift and I know so little of what Yatsu likes outside of science. My gift is so lame that...' My thoughts are cut off by Yatsu's perplexed expression.
"A journal?" He breathes out as he flips the book over in his tiny hands. I scratch the back of my head, realising that the last thing any 6-year-old wants is a boring journal.
"Yeah, it's a space for you to write down your thoughts and feelings. Anything that made you happy or that you want to remember or anything really." I explain, but as I get stares from 4 sets of blue eyes, I immediately cringe. "Sorry it's such a boring gift." I mumble as Hakoda quirks an eyebrow while Sokka tries to hold back a laugh, but Yatsu does the last thing any of us expect. He hugs the slim book to his chest as he gives me the warmest of smiles.
"Thank you Daddy, I love it." Yatsu whispers as he moves to latch his free arm around my neck. A ball of emotion lodges itself at the back of my throat as I return the embrace.
When my eyes move past the back of Yatsu's head, they fall on Katara who's watching me with a contemplative expression. I quirk an eyebrow just as she parts her lips to say something, but she thinks better of it and gives me a one shouldered shrug before glancing away. I furrow my eyebrows, confused on whatever that expression was, but I can't ask her when everyone is around. After several moments, the boy pulls back while still clutching his new book tightly.
"I'm going to write in it lots." Yatsu announces as he looks down at the leather-coloured journal that has an Air Nomad insignia stamped across the front of it.
"I'm glad." I say with a beam as I ruffle his hair.
"Alright, now let's move onto the cake!" Sokka announces as he starts putting the candles on the cake.
"Uncle Sokka, I want to help!" Yatsu pleads as he leans across the table which elicits a chuckle from the man as he passes a blue candle to the boy.
"Here you go, favourite nephew of mine." Sokka utters with a grin as Yatsu laughs and puts a candle into the cake.
"But uncle, I'm your only nephew." Yatsu reminds mildly just as the ponytailed man reaches over the table to pat his head.
"Well, who knows. Maybe you'll get a brother someday." Sokka voices non-committedly. As soon as I hear that I start choking loudly while Katara inhales sharply. Yatsu's eyes however, becomes thoughtful.
"A brother?" He echoes back, as if he never even thought about the notion before. I hit my chest to clear my clogged windpipe and when I'm finally able to breathe normally again, I can't help glimpsing at Katara who's face is completely stoic, but her flush betrays her embarrassment. Yatsu turns to his mother with a hopeful expression. "Mummy, can I have a brother?" He asks with wide eyes and her face tightens at the query.
"I..." She stops, struggling on what to say before she shoots her brother a glare. "Sokka." She hisses between grit teeth. The man shrugs his shoulders.
"Don't you want Yatsu to have a sibling?" Her brother points out and somehow her face flushes deeper as she glowers at him.
"That isn't..." Katara starts, only to be stopped when Yatsu tugs on his mum's sleeve.
"I don't mind having a sister either!" Yatsu bargains and I can't help the laugh that escapes my lips at the exchange. Everyone's eyes fall on me, but when I spot the harsh glint in Katara's eyes, I immediately suck in my lips.
"Daddy, can't you ask Mama to let me have a brother or sister?" Yatsu asks instead as he pins me with that hopeful wide-eyed ocean eyes of his. My throat closes up and I immediately regret laughing, because now I have no idea what to say. I glance at Katara briefly, but when I spot the tight wrinkles around her eyes and the way her jaw is set in mid-clench, I hastily look away.
"That's not my choice. Your Mum is the one who has to go through the effort of carrying a child in her tummy." I mumble just as Yatsu furrows his eyebrows in confusion.
"How does a baby get there?" Yatsu asks innocently and if I wasn't blushing before, I definitely am now, but my embarrassment pales in comparison to Katara's, who's face has gone bright beetroot and she has to turn her head away from us as a shallow croak escapes her.
"That's something you'll learn when you get older." Hakoda chips in helpfully, but a child genius is harder to sway than a normal child as the boy crosses his arms over his chest stubbornly.
"Why can't I know now? I like learning." Yatsu insists as I'm rendered utterly speechless. The sound of scrapping chair against the wooden floor has me looking to my left to find Katara standing stiffly.
"I'm going to get a lighter for the cake." The woman mutters before disappearing into the kitchen. I glance at the table to find a lighter already present on the table and my shoulders sag as I sink into my chair.
"You should probably talk to her." Hakoda whispers and I freeze up at the thought. I glance at Yatsu who's looking incredibly dejected and I bite my lip before shaking my head.
"I'll talk to her later." I mutter as I lean forward to take Yatsu's hand. "Hey, if you really want a sibling, you can make a wish before you blow out the candles." I suggest gently, but instead of being excited, the boy starts chewing his bottom lip.
"But Daddy, I already had a wish I wanted to make." Yatsu mumbles and I blink in surprise.
"Oh, well in that case choose the wish you most want to make." I advise, just as Sokka snorts.
"Aang, you should tell him he can make as many wishes as he likes." The ponytailed man points out and I open my mouth in surprise just as Yatsu shakes his head.
"No! Mummy said if I make more wishes, they're less likely to come true and I really want this wish to come true." Yatsu protests and I quirk an eyebrow at the boy, wondering what on earth it is that he wants to wish for.
"Well, I think that's very reasonable from your Mum." I agree with a smile just as Sokka rolls his eyes.
"That's just Katara's way of..." He trails off when the woman in question returns to the table.
"My way of what?" Katara utters dryly and Sokka immediately raises a placating hand.
"Nothing!" Sokka is quick to clamp his mouth after that and I bite back a smile at the exchange before glancing at Katara, but the waterbender purposely avoids my gaze. I blow out a breath in disappointment. 'Spirits, I was finally thinking we were getting somewhere after our earlier conversation.' I think sullenly.
"Let's light the candles." Hakoda suggests as he picks up the lighter and lights up the six candles on the cake. Sokka hops to his feet and switches off the lights, plunging the room into darkness, save for the flickering candles. I get lost staring at the fire. 'I can't even remember the last time I celebrated a birthday. I was often working on Jin's birthdays and I stopped celebrating my own birthday for a long time.'
"Daddy?" I'm broken out of my thoughts by Yatsu's voice and I give him a grin as I settle a hand on his shoulder.
"Let's sing happy birthday." I say, just as I feel someone's eyes on me, but when I flicker my eyes up, I find Katara busy gazing at the cake. I hold back a sigh and the four of us starts singing Yatsu 'happy birthday' as he gazes at the candles with so much concentration that it almost takes me by surprise. When we finish singing, he closes his eyes tightly.
"I wish Mummy and Daddy get back together." Yatsu whispers before blowing out the candles.
I tense up and flicker my eyes to Hakoda and Sokka, but it seems they both hadn't heard. It's only when I hear a plate cluttering loudly on the table, do I realise that Katara definitely heard. I try to read her expression, but in the darkness it's hard to make out her features very well. Everyone claps their hands in a cheer before Sokka switches the lights back on.
As soon as they're on, Katara's expression becomes much clearer. Her face is pale and her lips are pressed tightly together, but she's careful to wipe her emotions off her face as she leans down to give Yatsu a kiss on his cheek and pull him in for a hug.
"Happy Birthday, honey." Katara murmurs as she rests her cheek against the child's head for a good several moments before pulling away.
"Thank you Mummy." Yatsu whispers as he keeps a hold on his mother for a few moments longer than expected to the point that it even drags the woman's attention as she gazes at the boy with furrowed eyebrows, but the boy promptly withdraws as soon as he realises and flashes her a wide grin.
I clear my throat and awkwardly lean down to kiss the crown of his head. It's a gesture I'm not accustomed to doing with the boy, so I'm very much playing it by ear as I mimic Katara's example. He turns to me in surprise before his eyes crinkle with a smile.
"Happy Birthday, Yatsu." I voice gently as he hugs me.
"Thank you, Daddy." Yatsu replies gratefully as a yawn escapes his lips. My lips twitch upwards as I pull him into my arms.
"Sounds like it's bed time." I joke as the child struggles to keep his eyes open.
"But I don't want today to end." Yatsu argues between yawns as his head rests against my chest. I push the chair back and rise to my feet with the boy in my arms.
"Don't worry, tomorrow you can play with all your new toys." I promise.
"I guess that's our cue to leave. Happy Birthday sport." Sokka voices as he reaches forward to ruffle his hair. Hakoda also moves to stand as he presses a kiss to Yatsu's forehead.
"See you soon Yatsu. Happy Birthday." Yatsu's grandad bids softly and the boy shoots them both a sleepy grin. I watch as the father-son duo waves goodbye to Katara, but I don't wait for them to leave and immediately make my way up the stairs when Yatsu releases another yawn. I elbow his bedroom door open and move towards his bed before resting him gently on his mattress.
"Goodnight Yatsu." I murmur, but when I start to straighten up, his hand reaches up to hold my sleeve tightly.
"Daddy, can you stay at home tonight?" My son requests quietly. A weird sound exits my mouth and I hate that I have to deny him.
"I'm sorry Yatsu, but I can't. This is your Mummy's house." I remind gently, but the boy's lips wobble as he gazes up at me.
"Just for tonight Daddy." Yatsu begs and it tears at my heart.
"I..." I start, only to be cut off by a voice from behind me.
"Tonight only." I freeze at Katara's words and when I glance behind me, I find her leaning her shoulder and hip against the doorway as she watches the pair of us.
"Thank you Mummy." Yatsu utters as his eyelids flutter to a close. I step back when Katara enters the room and she gently pulls the duvet over the boy before pressing a kiss to his cheek and murmuring a quiet goodnight. I wait until she's exited the bedroom before following her out and closing the door softly behind us.
"Erm..." I start, but the waterbender presses her finger to her lips and jerks her head towards the closed bedroom. I bite my lip and nod my head in understanding and I follow her across the landing until we're in our old bedroom. A shiver runs down my spine at being here again after so long. My eyes almost bulge when the woman takes a seat at the edge of the mattress and I have to tear my eyes away from her.
"So, I don't actually have to stay." I utter awkwardly to break the silence, but the waterbender sighs in response.
"You can't very well not be here when he wakes up tomorrow. He'll be upset." Katara mentions and I almost balk at how easy-going she is being about this.
"So, you don't mind if I stay the night here?" I ask dubiously and when she flinches, I know I've already got my answer.
"You know I'd do anything for Yatsu. If he wants you here tonight, then I'm not going to kick you out." Katara voices neutrally as she scrunches up her nose slightly. I quirk an eyebrow at her response and without meaning to, words that I shouldn't say slip past my lips.
"So, you'd give him a sibling just because he asked?" I instantly cringe as soon as the words leave my mouth and it's made only worse by Katara's sharp intake of breath as she clenches her hands in her lap.
"I can't give him a sibling because I'm not with anyone." She retorts stiffly and I wince at the obvious jab towards me.
"It almost sounds like you're not considering being with anyone ever." I fire back before I can help it and the woman shoots up to her feet as a flash of rage crosses her eyes.
"And I wonder whose fault that is?!" Katara throws back angrily. I suck in my lips as shame slams into me and drop my head to stare at the floor.
"Sorry, you're right." I mumble apologetically. When I hear her sigh again, I raise my head slightly to find her massaging her forehead.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to get so fired up." Katara replies with a grimace as she drops her hand from her face. "I really don't know how we're meant to work to be honest." The waterbender adds with a low voice and if anything, it makes my heart squeeze tightly as I gaze at her.
"Because we keep arguing?" I utter weakly as the woman clutches her elbow and stares off to the side.
"The arguing and also because too much has happened along the way. I know it's better for Yatsu if we were together. He'd be happier and he might even have a sibling or two, but I don't...I c-can't..." Katara trails off with a choke and I become keenly aware that this is weighing more heavily on her than I realised.
Her hands flies back up to her face so that she can press her fingers over her closed eye sockets for a brief moment. I take a step towards her and I'm relieved when she doesn't back away. I keep moving until we're inches apart. My features subconsciously softens when I see the confliction in her eyes.
"Hey, hey, you don't need to do something you don't want. Don't keep sacrificing yourself all the time." I murmur gently as I take a hold of her elbows. I catch the slightest tremble in her lips before she quickly presses them together to still them.
"But Yatsu wants this and...you want this..." Katara's voice cracks and I become acutely aware of how much pressure I've inadvertently been putting on her since I confessed to her that night in the car. I bite my lip hard.
"What do you want Katara?" I whisper, but the woman refuses to meet my eyes. I lift one hand and tilt her chin towards me until our eyes lock, but she's only able to maintain eye contact for a few moments before squeezing her eyes tightly closed.
"I...don't know." She whispers back and I find myself at a loss on what to say.
"You've had to sacrifice again and again for everyone's sake. You dedicated your life to Yatsu since he was born. You accepted my memory loss so I could live happily. It's time you let yourself decide what you want. Don't let anyone tell you who you should be with, not even me or our son. It's your life and your choice." I advice.
And even though it tears me up inside to tell her that, it's the least I can do to make up for everything she had to put up with because of my countless mistakes. 'If I had only been honest with her from the start then none of this would've happened. If only. I wish I could turn back time, but I can't. I can only try my hardest to cushion the repeated blows she's sustained on my behalf.' I gaze at the woman who holds my heart, for better or for worse, and wait until she re-opens her eyes.
"I think I just want to sleep." Katara mumbles finally and it's ridiculous I know, but a laugh erupts from my throat as I drop my hands from her.
"I think that's a fair request." I reply with a grin and she flushes in embarrassment.
"Sorry, it's not really the answer you've been waiting for." The waterbender mutters, but I shake my head.
"I told you, it's your decision. I want you to focus on yourself a little for once." I voice firmly as I take a step back from her. "I'll sleep on the couch so Yatsu knows I kept my promise." I add before the waterbender can argue, but her eyebrows furrow in disagreement.
"Wait." Katara voices and I watch her in confusion as she bends on her knees next to the bed and pulls out a large inflatable mattress from underneath the King's bed. I gawk at it before flickering my eyes up to hers.
"Since when did you get this?" I ask in surprise as the woman gives me a wry smile.
"When Yatsu was younger, he used to be scared about sleeping alone so I got this mattress for him to sleep on so we could be in the same room. I was too scared for him to sleep on the big bed in case he rolled over and fell out. This was a good alternative. You can sleep on this for tonight. It should be more comfortable than the sofa." Katara suggests as she grabs a spare set of duvet and pillows from the cupboard. My eyes widen as I stare at her.
"You mean...sleep...here?" I choke out and the waterbender stills for a few moments before setting a pillow on the mattress.
"Just for tonight." Katara mutters without meeting my gaze. I chew my lip and when I see her struggle with the duvet, I move to take it from her hands and settle it on the mattress.
"Are you sure?" I breathe back as the woman jerks her head up in a stiff nod.
"It's for Yatsu." Katara answers simply as if that's her excuse for everything and it makes me frown considering what I just told her about putting herself first, but I bite my tongue and refrain from continuing my protest. "Here." Katara stretches out her hand that's holding a shirt and trouser. I take it from her wordlessly as I glance down at the items of clothing. They're mine. From years ago.
"You can change into those while I change in the bathroom." The waterbender suggests, but she's already moving towards the bathroom door that's attached to the bedroom. I give her a small nod and wait until she's closed the bathroom door before releasing a loud sigh.
I turn around and I'm just about to pull off my top when something glints at the corner of my eyes. With a frown I go towards it and my jaw drops when I notice what it is. The locket. 'She...didn't get rid of it?' I think in disbelief as I pick it up from its place at the corner of the desk.
I chew my lip for a moment in thought before pocketing the trinket in my satchel. 'I really hope she won't notice it's missing for a few days.' I pray worriedly as I pull off my top. My trousers follow soon after until I'm clad in just my boxers. I reach down to pick up the oversized t shirt just as the bathroom door clicks open. I freeze and when I turn my head towards the waterbender I find her fixed to her spot with her lips parted in surprise.
Without a word, she steps back into the bathroom before swiftly closing the door shut again. I cringe hard and feel like banging my head against the wall in mortification. I resist the urge and quickly don on the shirt and then the pyjama bottoms which hang a little too loosely on my waist. 'Spirits, how much weight did I lose over the years?' I wonder with a frown as I pull on the drawstrings so it wouldn't slip off.
I finally glance at the still closed bathroom door and chew my lip anxiously. 'Gah! What should I tell her?' I wonder as I raise one foot to knock on the door, but I think better of it and set it back on the floor.
"I'm er...decent now." I call out in a mumble. I hear quiet movements on the other side of the door and it feels like an age before she finally re-opens the door, but she's careful to avoid my gaze.
"Sorry about that. You were always a quick changer I didn't...I should've asked if you were done." Katara mutters as she clasps her right shoulder. I'm unsure if there's the faintest dusting of pink on her cheeks because of the lighting, but it's likely wishful thinking on my part. I subconsciously give her a brief once over and notice she purposely chose the most non-revealing nightgown in her wardrobe.
"It's fine, nothing you haven't seen before." I reply nonchalantly, but when the woman stiffens up, I immediately feel like slapping my forehead at my careless words.
"Try to keep comments like that to yourself." Katara utters tightly and I wince in return before nodding.
"Sorry, my bad." I mumble as I rub the back of my neck in embarrassment. The waterbender finally chances a glance at me, but it doesn't last long as she moves towards the inflatable mattress.
"You can take the bed, I'm fine on this." My ex-wife mentions, but my eyes widen and I'm shaking my head in refusal.
"No way, I'd rather take the sofa if that's your intention." I argue stubbornly. I watch as her lips part in surprise for a moment before she releases a quiet sigh and nods her head.
"Alright. Well, good night then." Katara bids as she switches off the bedside lamp before sliding into the bed and underneath the duvet. I stare for a moment longer than necessary before kneeling down on the floor and pulling back the covers.
I bite my lip hard when old emotions resurface within me and it takes everything in me to make sure my breathing doesn't come out in short shallow rasps. 'Shoot. We're going to sleep in the same room. We haven't done that since...' My thoughts trail off as my face flushes bright red and for once, I'm extremely grateful for the darkness.
I lie down on the inflatable mattress and pull the cover over me, but my heart is pounding so fast that I don't know how I'll be able to get to sleep. While we're not technically sharing a bed, this proximity is enough to stir all sorts of feelings inside me and I have to bite my lip hard just to rid the thoughts of...'Gah!'
I slap my forehead and the noise resounds loudly in the otherwise quiet room. I hold my breath and when Katara doesn't move for several moments, I release a breath I didn't realise I was holding. It's a full minute before I hear her shift and I spot her face cautiously glancing down at me from the edge of the bed as she's propped herself up on one elbow.
"Did...did you just slap yourself?" Katara asks unsurely and I suddenly wish the ground could swallow me up, 'which to be fair I could make it do, but I don't think Katara would be very pleased about it.' I gulp and shake my head a little too vigorously. The waterbender purses her lips as she eyes me critically.
"Actually, I don't think I want to know." Katara amends wearily.
I open my mouth, ready to fire back some half-baked defence, but my eyes drop on her neckline and I notice the button is undone and I start flushing all over again. Katara's eyebrows furrow as she looks down at her nightgown and subconsciously moves to grasp the two ends of the opening together.
"Yeah, I definitely don't want to know." She utters as her head disappears from view. I feel like screaming at myself for being so see-through and pathetic.
"No w-wait!" I stutter as I sit up.
"Aang, it's fine. Go to sleep." Katara mutters as she rolls over to her side, facing away from me. I hate that my heart flutters at hearing her say my name so freely now. I close my eyes briefly when the urge to tell her that I love her threatens to spill from my mouth. The only thing that holds me back is that I promised I'd give her space to decide what to do with us. 'If there's even an us to start with.' I think with a grimace.
"I...I can leave if I'm making you feel uncomfortable." I whisper as I stare at my open palms that rest on the bed sheets. The waterbender sighs before rolling over to her other side to gaze at me with that steadfast expression of hers that betrays absolutely nothing.
"You're not. Now sleep." Katara murmurs softly and it feels like my heart skipped a beat as I gaze at her. My fingers curl into my palms.
"Why does this hurt so much?" My thoughts are manifested aloud in a whisper. A flash of alarm crosses the woman's face as she stares at me.
"What does?" She asks, appearing almost afraid to voice the question. I bite my lip hard. 'No. I can't say it. I can't say it. I can't say...'
"Being so close to you, but not being able to have you." My croak is masked behind Katara's sharp intake of breath and I can tell she's conflicted on what to do.
"Sorry. I didn't realise it would be this hard for you to be here. We could move the mattress into Yatsu's room, if you prefer?" The waterbender suggests after chewing her lip for an age. I shake my head immediately.
"No!" I exhale heavily before continuing. "I'm fine. I like being near you." I admit awkwardly and this time I'm sure the woman's face has turned a shade darker.
"Even if it hurts?" She queries and I nod my head.
"Even if it hurts." I confirm.
"Even if you can't have me?" Katara questions quietly and it feels like a punch to the gut as I momentarily forget how to breathe.
"Even that." I whisper painfully. I watch as the doctor releases another sigh before her hand stretches out towards me. My eyes widen a fraction when her hand makes contact with my cheek. 'Her hand...it's so warm and comforting.' I realise with a pang. 'How...how did I not see that before? I spent so long pushing her away in an attempt to protect her when really, I should've been drawing her closer for us to be able to protect each other.' That thought hits me so hard that I have to press my lips tightly together.
"I'm sorry." The waterbender whispers and it feels like the first time she has properly and openly let down her guard around me since I lost my memories. Her hand withdraws before I can formulate a response and I reach out to grasp it, but quickly change my mind. 'The last thing I want to do is push at boundaries she so desperately set up.'
"I'm sorry too. I...I never should've pushed you away like I did. I shouldn't have tried so hard to hide things and shoulder everything on my own. I wish...I wish I could fix it." I choke out as the mistakes of my past slam into me at full force. The waterbender exhales softly as she lifts the duvet off her and shifts to join me down on the floor, taking my hands in the process as she sits by my side.
"I wish you were open with me too. But...I don't think we're past fixing. It just needs time. I need time. I already know how you feel about me..." Katara pauses as the tips of her ears pinken and that feeling of desire and love stirs within me once more. "...and I never stopped caring about you, try as I might." Katara continues after clearing her throat. "If you want things to change, then just please wait." The waterbender breathes back as she gives my hands a light squeeze. This moment means more than I can put into words and I find myself giving her fingers a gentle squeeze back.
"Thanks Katara." I voice sincerely, but when I spot the way her right shoulder stiffens as she nods her head, I can't help but bite my lip and reach for the joint. To my surprise, Katara doesn't bat me away like she has so often done, but I can tell she feels uncomfortable. I drop my hand. "Is your shoulder doing ok?" I ask instead, taking the woman by surprise.
"Why do you ask?" The waterbender queries with furrowed eyebrows.
"You seem to be struggling with doing a lot of things." I note quietly and her shoulder sags in response.
"It's a bit stiff, but it will improve." Katara reassures, but something niggles inside me. I purse my lips, but when I feel her hands sliding out from mine, I decide to drop it.
"Alright. If you want a healing session sometime, just let me know." I offer with a smile and the waterbender chuckles lightly at that as she rests a light hand on her shoulder.
"You're loving that you can heal, aren't you?" Katara teases and a small laugh escapes me as I nod.
"It does make a nice change of pace." I agree with a grin which elicits a playful eye roll from the woman as she rises to her feet.
"I suppose. It's getting late, we should really get some rest." My ex-wife reminds and with a nod of my head, the waterbender slides back into her bed and I lean back into mine. I stare at the ceiling and release a quiet breath, relieved at the progress even if it's small. My eyes flutter to a close and that night sleep comes easy.
6 hours later:
I'm woken by the sounds of movement and I blearily crack open my eyes to assess where the sound is coming from. It dawns on me moments later and I jerk up from my mattress to gaze at the waterbender who's tossing and turning in her sleep.
Pushing back my covers, I stand and stretch out my hand with the intention of waking her until I notice something glistening on her cheek as I move forward. I go still as I stare at her. 'She's... crying.' I realise numbly as I lightly sit on the edge of the mattress and take her hand in mine. 'Katara's never been one to have nightmares. Not that I know of anyway. Is this new?' I wonder anxiously as the stress lines on her forehead start to ease.
I chew my lip as I watch her. 'I wonder if it has to do with what happened with Yon Rha. I never did ask for the details of what happened while she was in his custody. The new burn marks I saw on her body during her bath however, was enough of an indication that it must've been very similar to the last time Yon Rha tortured her.' I inhale deeply as a spike of anger overwhelms me, but it's quickly overruled by my guilt that I wasn't there to protect her.
I close my eyes briefly as I give her hand a light squeeze and I'm relieved when I hear her breathing even back to normal after their shallow bursts. I can't help but smile softly at her as I watch her sleep peacefully, but the background feeling of unease has me anxious. 'Nightmares. I wonder...how is she coping with everything? It's taken me so long to heal from my wounds and I'm not even half way there yet, but Katara? She's had new wounds and old ones that were ripped open. She's never once talked about them and merely brushes it to one side. It made me think she was strong. Indestructible even. But what if...what if she's hurting deep inside and isn't allowing herself to see that. She's pretending to be ok when she isn't. Like how I was before I lost my memories. The only reason I'm not that bad anymore is because of those positive memories I've made over the 6 years.'
I go still as an unpleasant shiver runs down my spine. 'Shoot, I have to talk to her about this. I don't want her to become like me. I don't want her to suffer in silence like I felt I was forced to.' I eye her carefully, but the waterbender seems lost in the realm of deep sleep. One that's currently absent of nightmares fortunately.
I blow out a light breath before slipping my hand out from her loose one and bend down to brush away her tears with the backs of my knuckles. My thumb accidentally brushes over the corner of her lips and I jerk my hand back guiltily. It's only then do I realise how close our faces are and I can almost feel each breath she exhales.
I subconsciously lean forward, but am saved by the woman shifting to her side. I exhale heavily and move back before returning back to my mattress as I hold my head in shame. 'Shoot, my self-control was never this bad. Why...why is my body reacting like this?'
I groan as I rub my eyes with the base of my palms in frustration. 'Maybe I best get up and make some breakfast.' I decide with a nod of my head in an attempt to rid my mind of thoughts I certainly should not be having of a certain waterbender.
A/N: Phew! It took me two days to edit this entire monstrosity of a chapter haha and I had to try not to be lazy and force myself to get on with it, hopefully it was worth the long wait, even if a little.
I had a lot of fun writing the whole giving Yatsu a sibling antics, it was too good to pass up, I mean Katara's reaction was a blast to write XD I finally gave the two space to talk with the curtsy of Sokka and Yatsu mastermind duet XD I wanted them to get to a point of understanding, as in they both know why they behaved as they did and understand how they both wish things were handled. Because before anything can be fixed, you need to understand where and why it went wrong and reign in the expectations of each party as they're often misaligned. Now there's understanding, there can be some movement on healing…hopefully XD
And I had fun writing Aang being crazy for Katara haha. The whole series I've made a point of showing how much Katara loves Aang – very evident in Painful Education and also a bit in Painful Medicine, but I feel we've had less of a strong insight in how much Aang loves Katara and that was partly skewered by how he visualised love as a weakness or a tragedy. Now he's starting to realise how special love is and it's making him desperate to get it back and yet he's realised that he may have blown it.
Anyway excuse my writer's rambles! Favourite lines that I enjoyed writing would be:
"I wish I was the one who made you that happy."
"Why does this hurt so much?"
"Being so close to you, but not being able to have you."
"Try not to make the staring too obvious."
"Never had the chance to do all the kid stuff I probably should've done."
"Maybe not when we're in public during the middle of a kid's ride?"
Next chapter will be hmm, I might be going away next weekend, but hopefully the weekend after that so long as I'm not too washed out heh. Sorry again if my updates are sporadic, but not too many chapters left for you to endure my awful updating! Take care everyone and hope this chapter tides you over till the next one XD
10/02/2025