To her dismay, Elissa was not able to speak to the Spymaster as she had hoped. When she entered the Chantry the advisors were already huddled in the war room talking amongst themselves.
"What could it mean? Why would my agents tell us to go to Redcliffe so soon? We've not even heard back from Grand Enchanter Fiona to confirm she was ready for our people to come to her," Leliana frowned, staring at the letter as if she was trying to find a hidden message.
Josephine looked over at the missive and clucked her tongue, her right hand still scribbling away in her ledger.
"This is most unusual. Even if the Grand Enchanter spoke to you all at Val Royeaux, we cannot just show up there without a formal written invitation; it could look like an intimidation tactic, or worse an outright invasion," she said disapprovingly. "We should take a moment to really think if this is the best option we have moving forward."
Cullen hummed his agreement from the other side of the table as he readjusted the placements of their troops on the map, updating their whereabouts to align with the most up-to-date communication from the field.
"It is not too late to reconsider the Templars, we could have a raven sent to Therinfal Redoubt-" he began only to stop at the look on Elissa's face. "I was merely pointing out all our options," he reasoned with her.
Elissa looked to Cassandra who had yet to say anything, hoping to hear her counsel before she made her decision.
"It would be good to speak to the Templars and have the order come to assist us with the Breach, however, we have already made contact with Fiona and she seemed open enough to have a civil discussion about assisting the Inquisition," she offered, playing devil's advocate and deferring to the Herald's better judgement to lead them.
Elissa surveyed the map. Looking at it purely from a distance perspective, it made more sense to see the mages first as it was on the way to see the Templars if all else failed. On top of that, she had an accord with Fiona, and honour dictated that she reach out to her first and do her best to find an agreement that would benefit them both. Apart from that, those Templar bastards punched an unarmed civilian, and as annoying as that Chantry Cleric was- she didn't deserve that. To her knowledge, the Mages had yet to accost anyone of note so they at least had that in their favour.
"To Redcliffe then," she decided, pointing at the city on the map. "Let's have Sister Leliana's scouts let the town know that we are on the way and that we are there to talk only. If we get there and we find that the tides have turned and we were not as welcome as we seemed, we move on and I'll send a raven from one of our camps to the Templars. Any concerns?"
Leliana easily voiced her agreement with what she saw was a fair compromise and Josephine concurred that by announcing themselves prior to reaching Redcliffe, it was the most neutral and diplomatic course they could take. Cullen and Cassandra remained quiet, opting to let their silence speak for them.
"I believe this is the right course of action," she said to Cassandra who was instantly swayed when she heard the Herald say she 'believed' in something, before turning to Cullen and looking him in the eye. "Commander, I understand this is not the path you would choose, but it's the path that makes the most sense to me. I am the one who has to walk it, so it would mean the world to me that even if you do not like it- you will support me."
Cullen sighed heavily but did not doubt her sincerity. He turned his gaze upon her once more and his expression softened as he took a moment to put himself in her position, finding he had no choice but to concede.
Leliana asked the room to confirm if they had anything they wanted to dispute or provide an alternative suggestion. Everyone murmured their agreement to the Herald's proposal and finally their course was set. Elissa released a breath she didn't know she was holding. She'd had enough of this back and forth between them all without anything actually being done. If she had to be the one to push things forward, so be it.
"Come to the Chantry. You are in danger."
Elissa tried to study the note that Felix had slipped into her hand before he 'fell'. It screamed "trap" of course, but why go through the effort of devising such a scheme when they already had them in their grasp, it made no sense.
"This is all too elaborate and the note is unsigned. The boy feared his father might retrieve it," Solas said, her thoughts seemingly parroted out loud.
"The magister's son gave you that? Why would he help you or the Inquisition?" Cassandra questioned to which Blackwall snorted and shrugged.
"I suppose we won't find out unless we go," he replied looking towards Elissa who was still postulating what all of it meant and reeling over the fact that Grand Enchanter Fiona said she wasn't even at Val Royeaux to meet them. Unless perhaps it was a demon they spoke to that day... or was this Fiona in Redcliffe the demon in disguise? Why else would she turn to the aid of Tevinter instead of waiting for them to arrive? None of it made any bloody sense.
"We should investigate this, best case scenario we find someone willing to help us understand what the hell is going on here. Worst case, I have to apologise to the Clerics again for wrecking up Redcliffe's Chantry. And for inciting a war with Tevinter, so you know…no big deal."
Elissa was going to have to write a very long apology letter to the remaining Chantry Clerics after everything was said and done. She doubted they would ever be able to scrub out some of the demon entrails that had been smashed into the mortar of the hallowed building. Still, it was not as if she could leave a damned rift in the middle of the Redcliffe, so in truth, perhaps the Chantry should thank her. As if that were ever going to happen.
Their new, wonderfully moustached friend was perplexed by the mark on her hand, his fingers itching to grab her and inspect it up close.
"Fascinating, how does that work, exactly?" he asked, eyes sparkling with curiosity. Elissa made a few unintelligible sounds and shrugged, not bothering to pretend she understood the inner workings of the mystery mark on her hand. "You don't even know, do you? You just wiggle your fingers, and boom! Rift closes," he said, inching closer to her hand.
"Something like that. Sometimes I add a flourish here, give the occasional rift or two the finger there… just to see which is the most effective strategy but... I'm sorry...Who are you?" she asked, taking a step to the side to make more room between her and the inquisitive mage.
"Ah, getting ahead of myself again, I see. Dorian of House Pavus, most recently of Minrathous. How do you do?" he bowed, flashing them a charming smile. For a second as she blinked, she could have sworn she had seen a shorter, elven man stand in his place in mid-bow. Shoulder length blonde hair with tattoos on his face, grinning at her like a cat who got the cream. The image quickly dissipated and she felt the room start to turn, suddenly feeling too small and much too confined. The acrid stench of demon remains made her want to gag and the Chantry had become far too hot for her.
She looked around as her companions spoke to the Tevinter mage and didn't know if she was hallucinating or remembering, maybe even both- but the Chantry was on fire. Or at least, everything around it had been set ablaze the way the heat seemed to seep through the walls. The village glowed red through the windows and the smell of oil permeated her senses, she could make out shambling corpses running around with the people of Redcliffe, attacking men, women, and children, and no one was batting an eye.
Elissa squeezed her eyes open and shut, knowing what she was seeing was some sort of delusion. It wasn't happening, and she needed to calm down before she passed out. She believed she excused herself, managing to escape from underneath Solas' worried glances and stepped outside to try to catch her breath.
"Herald, are you quite alright? You looked, well..." Cassandra filtered off, not quite sure how to put it without offending the younger woman.
"It's alright Cass, finish your sentence," she replied, gulping down the bile that threatened to climb up her throat.
"Terrible. You look terrible, like you're about to be ill," she concluded, taking a step back as Elissa turned a frightening pale green.
Elissa managed to stem the nausea and leant her forehead against the cool stone of the Chantry pillar. She was going to be okay, she just needed some time and she'd be right as rain.
"Do not worry about me Cass, please go back in there to thank Felix for warning us, I didn't even get to speak to him unfortunately. And please invite Master Pavus back to Haven with us, he can't stay here and we'll need him to understand what Alexius is planning moving forward."
"Agreed," she said, not moving an inch. "Solas and Blackwall are finishing up inside and giving the Tevinter directions, I will stay right here with you," she decreed like her own personal knight in shining armour. "I do not want to hear any argument, Herald. You look like you'd faint should a breeze hit you in the wrong way."
Elissa looked at Cassandra from the corner of her eye and had wanted to look intimidating but probably resembled a dead fish.
"Thank you. I just need more air-"
"Come then, the docks will be the best place for you. The salt in the air may do you some good," she suggested walking past her and down the steps. "I will come with you."
"... Of course you will."
The town was too busy for her liking and all she wanted to do was sit down and get away from prying eyes. Thankfully, she noticed a corner where only a few people were standing and thought it looked promising. Those gathered didn't seem like they wanted to be there anymore than she did. She left Cassandra who had stopped to speak to one of the Chantry sisters, Tanner?, and promised she would just be down near the water waiting for her.
Not wanting to encroach their privacy, Elissa stood a few steps away from them and tried her best to let her mind go blank. She had almost succeeded when one of the men at the end of the docks started arguing with his cohort.
"I should have never come back, I told them, I told you all this was a mistake!" he cried out, his voice cracking.
"Maker, stop. No one is thinking that-"
"Oh really? Tell that to everyone in Redcliffe that is missing a member of their family because of me! I saw Kaitlyn the other day and the way she looked at me... she saw me as the monster that I am..."
"She doesn't. She feels nothing but sorry for what happened back then."
"As she should! How can she feel anything else but sorry at the loss everyone endured because of what I did. I can't stay here, I need to find a way to get out of here-"
Elissa yelped as the man barrelled into her, the force surprising her as she fell on the ground. She thought she should be grateful that she wasn't sent into the sea but her smarting tailbone was not of the same mind. She could hear the thundering footfalls of Cassandra as the young man apologised, helping her up.
"Herald, are you alright? Are you hurt?" Cassandra asked hurriedly, looking over her and glaring at the two mages.
"I'm fine, Cassandra. It was just an accident ...are you quite alright, Sir?"
The man's mouth fell agape as if she were a ghost.
"Andraste's flaming sword... Why are you here? Are you here to finish the job?" he babbled, eyes so wide they looked like they were about to fall out of his head.
Elissa stared at him dumbfounded. She had no idea what this boy was talking about and now needed to find the herbalist for her nausea and the headache that was quickly coming on.
"You're her, aren't you? You are. You're back here to finish what you started 10 years ago," he continued, turning three shades whiter as he gawked at her. "You're here to finally kill me."
She sobered up quickly, seeing that the nearby vendors and customers were watching them. Great, now everyone is here to think the Inquisition are just assassins like the damn Antivan Crows.
"Listen, I don't know who you are or who you thinkIam, but I am certainly not here to murder anyone. I am here with the Inquisition and my name is-"
"Elissa. Your name is Elissa," he finished for her.
She paused. How did he know that?
"You were here over 10 years ago during the siege of Redcliffe. It was you who stopped it. That statue over there? That's you. Not the best likeness, I know, so I understand you not recognising it."
Siege of what? She wasn't part of any siege, let alone one that involved killing what would have been a young boy back then. By the look of him there couldn't have been much age difference between them, so how could he believe that another child was sent to murder him?
"You should have killed me. You failed when you didn't kill me, the one responsible for it all. There was nothing left for me anyway. I couldn't be my father's heir, I was responsible for all the death and destruction in this town and I've had to live with the memory. I see it all in my dreams..." he sobbed, broken.
"I-I'm sorry, but I really don't know who you are or what you're talking about," she said, breaths coming shorter and her heart pounding painfully.
"You died. They told everyone you died but now you're back... so it must be for this," he said excitedly, grabbing her hands. "Yes, this is why you've been sent back to me, you can end this now, once and for all-"
"Just stop it, Connor!" his friend yelled out, slapping the young man across the cheek. "You're being irrational and letting your guilt get the better of you! Let's just go back and speak to Grand Enchanter Fiona. We'll work it all out."
"You have no idea what it's like to be here, to remember... to see all the blood on the stone even though it's been wiped clean. It will never be clean. And neither will I," he lamented, shaking off his friend's consoling hand. "So do it here, Hero. Strike me down, clean and easy. I will put up no fight."
Elissa could see black rims forming around the corners of her vision, her head screaming at her and her lungs burning from the lack of oxygen. She couldn't understand what he was saying, none of it made sense. Dead? Come to life? Like one of those creatures she had hallucinated in the Chantry before? Was he saying that she was one of them?
"You are speaking to the Herald of Andraste, boy," Cassandra spat, putting herself between Elissa and Connor like a human shield. "You must be mistaken and are clearly very disturbed. I suggest you take heed of your friend's advice and walk away, before you humiliate yourself any further."
Connor looked the Seeker in the eye and smiled, no mirth in his expression at all.
"Humiliation? Do you think that is what will haunt me? Do not fool yourself, I am my own spectre," he cried, sidestepping the Seeker and grabbing Elissa by her arms, shaking her as he spoke. "Please, have mercy on me. Either free me from this life, or free the mages from Redcliffe- so they may be rid of my presence and forget about me once and for all!"
Cassandra pulled at the back of his tunic and threw him into his friend, her expression wild.
"You do not touch her, you do not speak to her again, boy," she spat, her right hand pointing at him.
Connor looked about ready to burst into tears as he realised what he was doing, repeating 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry' over and over under his breath as he knelt down beside Elissa who recoiled slightly, wary that he may start shaking her to nausea again.
"I'm so sorry Elissa, please forgive me. I have forgotten myself."
She looked at him, suddenly so small and frightened and tired. He seemed so weary for someone so young. She hissed as a memory came to her, so clear and crisp she almost thought it was a scene playing out right before her.
Connor when he was still a child, flitting about a castle like a rambunctious boy would- not a care in the world. A pretty woman watching after him and another man... no two men... one was in bed asleep and the other was referring to the former as his brother... as-
"Eamon. You're Arl Eamon's son," she stammered through the pain, her vision splitting into two. Connor nodded sadly and accepted his friend's assistance to stand up, all fire extinguished in him and leaving nothing but a guilt ridden shell. "You're Connor... little Connor Guerrin," she whispered, unable to control her nerves as a shaky hand reached for him.
"I am."
Elissa could feel the prickle in the bridge of her nose and the familiar sting in her eyes, her throat constricting uncomfortably, all tell-tale signs that she was too close to tears.
"Oh Connor," she wept, clasping his hands within hers even as her vision started to fade. "You shouldn't blame yourself... you were just a scared child... you deserve to be happy… my Little Lord," she managed to say before falling unconscious.
Cassandra dove to catch the Herald from hitting her head on the hard wood beneath her. She barked for Connor's friend to fetch an elf named Solas near the Chantry and bid him to hurry back to them to tend to the fallen Herald.
"I... I could take a look at her if you would want Lady Seeker," Connor offered, knowing full well that the woman would never let him get close to her.
"What I said still stands, you do not touch her again. Look at what has come from just speaking to you!" she cursed, her concern taking precedence over any sort of restraint she held. "She is the Herald of Andraste, she-"
"She survived the conclave, I know. We all heard about her of course. But... I just didn't realise-"
"What, what did you not realise?" she asked, glaring at him. "That shaking a person when they are unwell could make them sicker? That you very well could have put her life in danger?" Cassandra pressed, gaining some satisfaction at the worry that passed across the boy's face.
"No- I just didn't realise that people who came back from the dead could come back whole... the only people I've seen come back were just... nothing of themselves. Just the body, rotting away, mindless. She's... She's who she's meant to be," he stumbled through his thoughts as he looked upon her properly. "It's so odd to see her as she is, right now. I'm probably the same age as she was back then."
Cassandra felt the last shred of patience leave her body as she listened to the boy's inane babble. "Speak plainly mage," she spat, her eyes never leaving Elissa's face to look for any signs of consciousness. "How do you know the Herald?"
Connor stared at her bewildered, as if she had asked a ridiculous question.
"You know her as the Herald of Andraste, but I know her as the Hero of Ferelden, Elissa Cousland," he replied evenly, looking into the Seeker's eyes when she turned to him with disbelief plastered on her face, like he had just punched her on the back of her head.
"W-what are you saying boy, that this is the same woman whodiedmore than a decade ago? This woman who is very much alive and with us now, this is what you are trying to say to me?" she asked him, her eyes reducing to slits.
The mage nodded and smiled, focusing his attention back to the Herald.
"Is she kind, in this life? Is she still as kind as I remember her to be?" he queried.
Cassandra gawked at him but found herself nodding nonetheless; the Herald was always wise cracking and tended to have a crude disposition at times, but no one could say she was not kind. She had spent half the time on their journey to Redcliffe picking up extra herbs only to give it to the town's herbalist to help bolster her dwindling stock. She gave her meagre coin to those starving in the Crossroads without a second thought. She took the time to talk to her about the Seekers, the Inquisition... tried to talk to her about Antony. Yes, the Herald of Andraste was very kind.
"When I first saw her, I thought that she was sent as some sort of reaper. Here to take me to where I belonged. Then before they continued on their journey, she spent so much time with me. Playing with me and the other kids around the village- I think she wanted them to think of me just as some other kid who suffered along with them- she was wrong- but she was being kind," he paused, relishing in one of the few happy memories he had of that time.
"She'd call me 'Little Lord', just like before. Told me that she had a nephew close to my age, and that were he alive we'd have been the best of friends. Thus in turn, we too should become the best of friends. So perhaps…I have looked at this the wrong way. Maybe she was sent back here, so I could properly thank her for all that she had done for the village and for my family," he theorised.
Solas and Blackwall had rushed down the path followed by a very out of breath mage, the two Inquisition members looking far more perturbed than the latter.
"Seeker, has she woken? Is she alright?" the elf asked, his hands already glowing before he knelt down beside her, already searching for anything to heal as fast as he could.
"Who's this then?" Blackwall sneered, smelling the guilt radiating off the young mage. "Another one of Alexius' mages? What did you do to the Herald?"
Connor was about to answer when Cassandra interceded on his behalf, her eyes still cutting into him but the edge slightly dulled.
"No Blackwall, he's a mage but not one of the Magister's. He's... an old friend to the Herald, it seems," she replied.
"Yes, she saved my life once upon a time. Lady Seeker, I know it is a lot to ask, but could you please tell her I would like the chance to see her again if she were open to it... I would like to meet her under better circumstances," he blushed at the recollection of his earlier outburst; how his teachers would chastise him for losing control over his emotions after all the work he had done to ensure he would never be that weak child again. "Please tell her that I am sorry and that I am forever grateful to her."
Cassandra sighed and allowed Solas to take Elissa from her arms to properly assess her. She stood to her full height as she surveyed Connor. "No. You tell her yourself, when you meet her again... under better circumstances," she said as she surveyed him. "Until then, try not to run into any other people by accident."
Connor smiled weakly and was about to leave when he remembered something. He pulled open his pouch and found a regeneration potion he had and handed it to Cassandra, who nodded her thanks as he passed her.
"Seeker," Solas called out as he lifted the unconscious Herald to sit, the woman slowly stirring awake. Cassandra squatted back down and helped to keep Elissa propped up.
"The boy gave us this," she said before throwing the small bottle to the awaiting elf.
Solas smiled as he recognised the contents of the vial and opened the lid to sniff the liquid. Once content he applied a small amount on his forefinger and tried it himself, wanting to take no chances when it came to the Herald's health, even if it was gifted by an old friend. He had known too many friends who all too easily forgot about their friendships when it became more convenient for them. He waited until he felt the healing effects take hold on his body and was satisfied that the potion was not tainted, wordlessly signalling for Blackwall and Cassandra to assist him in getting Elissa to imbibe it.
It was not so long ago that he had to do something similar with Adan back in Haven and it worried the apostate. He had postulated it was possible these attacks were coming closer together because whatever was holding back her memories was starting to fall away, the result of which caused her undue stress both physically and mentally. It was also possible that the long lasting effects of surviving the Breach were finally catching up to her, that she may only have a matter of time before the toll needed to be paid and she succumbed to whatever hidden wounds the trauma had given to her.
After a few minutes and the last drop of potion, the Herald's eyes started to flicker open, the bitter taste of medicine lingering on her tongue and rousing her from her dazed state. She could see that Solas was saying something to her but she couldn't understand him well, her senses doing their best to tune into what the staring bystanders were saying.
"Did ya hear what he said? He said she was the Hero of Ferelden!"
"The boy's always had a few screws loose, don't listen to him."
"But he's right! She looks like that woman who came here during the siege-"
"But didn't she die?"
"Didn't she die?"
"Didn't she die killing the-"
"Elissa!" Solas snapped, his voice cutting through all else and centering her attention on him. "Elissa, how many fingers am I holding up?"
"Three."
"Good. Follow my finger," he instructed, moving it side to side and then up and down, pleased with her movements. "Do you know where we are?"
"Redcliffe... we're still in Redcliffe right?" she asked, slightly panicked, sitting up fully for the world to spin her back into Cassandra.
"Don't you worry, it's not like we'd carry you out of town above our heads proclaiming, 'make way for the Herald of Andraste'," Blackwall teased, knowing how much that thought would chafe her. Seeing how the colour had slowly made its way back into her cheeks, the older man asked if she felt alright to stand and helped her up. He could see her start to look around at the people who huddled close by, their whispers making her pale. "Best not to listen to what everyone says Herald, it's time we get going... Do you think you can make it to the horses? Our uh, new friend will be meeting us back home."
Elissa nodded, clapped at Blackwall's arm as a sign of thanks, and looped her own through Cassandra's to begin their journey back. If Cassandra was put off by the Herald's sudden affection she did not show it, for whilst the woman looked back to normal to everyone else, she was close enough to hear every shaky breath she took. Felt the way her arm was pinned to the Herald's side, almost tight enough to pop the joint out of the socket should the mage choose to do so.
Elissa did her best to ignore them, but with each step she made, she could feel the whispers spread like a shadow throughout the town, and she knew before long, they would follow her wherever she went. She didn't know what was happening and what they believed, but she knew that for once it was not the mark that felt heavier from their assumptions and faith- but her heart. She did not like how they looked at her, how they were suddenly seeing her in a whole new light, because nothing had changed. So she chose not to look back at them and kept walking. Lest their hope became too heavy to bear.
Elissa had spent most of the journey back to Haven riding astride with one of her companions, the team not trusting that she would not have an attack whilst on top of Charlotte and falling off and breaking her neck.
Still, Blackwall did not need to be so graphic about all the ways she could have killed herself. Did the man get a kick out of it?
She was grateful for them all and the effort they put into filling all the silences her chatter would have otherwise filled. Her head was too noisy for much chance to properly converse with them.
She asked Blackwall to sing songs, and as much as the Warden detested his singing voice, there was something comforting she found in it. Cassandra would tell her stories of Nevarra and her training as a Seeker. She even touched upon her childhood and the madness of her royal family. Solas spoke of the different spirits he conversed with, how the plains of the world had changed over the millennia and of old magic that the world had long forgotten- no longer available past the whisperings beyond the Fade.
Elissa was even more thankful that, for the last two days of their journey, they allowed her to ride alone, always on the inside path with one one of them at her side in case she were to collapse again.
"Truthfully Herald, a man in my regiment named Terrence wasn't well enough to travel and he sneezed, scared his horse, got bucked off, and fell off a cliff. Heard him screaming for about a minute as he fell. There was no getting Terry back after that."
"No more stories allowed from you, Blackwall!"
Upon their arrival Solas and Cassandra were quick to say their goodbyes and make their way to the Chantry, undoubtedly to tell the rest of the advisors about what had happened in Redcliffe. She supposed it could not be helped, she was a time bomb wherever she went- no one could predict what would set off any of her memories or episodes. Yet, she was forced to embark on each journey to close any rifts their people would come across, and as the only one in Thedas who could do so, it was her sole responsibility. She had asked Solas if he was able to reattach a hand with his healing abilities and the look he gave her told her to cease that line of thought immediately.
Elissa had wandered the village, quickly stopping at Varric's tent to see he was scratching away in his trusty notebook; he had promised to meet up with her later at the tavern to catch up on all he missed on her latest expedition.
"Oh not much, Varric," she said casually as she walked away from him backwards. "Just Tevinter invading Redcliffe, taking control over mages, a fantastic moustache, and I sneezed far less during this journey- I think I'm finally winning the battle against the tall grass."
"Wait, what?" he asked, trying to grasp everything she had listed.
"I know, who knew that constant exposure to the grass and some simple herbs would be the answer?!"
"Stormy! What was that about a magical moustache invading Tevinter? Stormy!"
She waved goodbye and continued to explore the camp, pleased to know that both Vivienne and Sera had finally made their way into Haven after tidying up their affairs in Val Royeaux. Both women had carved out their respective spaces and were ready to start their work with the Inquisition.
"Darling... Did you wear this same armour at the salon? Oh no, we must get started on expanding your wardrobe. Let us visit the Quartermaster and the Blacksmith- this will not do."
"Oh but it's fine, they made this one for me when I got here-"
"It's fine Darling, I am here to help you now. Come- we shall walk and talk, you and I."
"B-but..."
"Hush now," she politely ordered, "you are the face of this...order... and as such you must look the part. If you want to command respect, you must show it to yourself first. Now come already, let's not dally with this- we have many things to do."
Elissa did not know how it happened, but the Orlesian mage had managed to commandeer more than three hours from her. From discussing different designs for her other sets of armour, to extracting information out of her like a master spy, she felt just like a puppet on the enchanter's strings. She'd have been utterly petrified if she didn't know that the mage was on her side.
"Aye, Herald...Herald,urgh that really won't do. Don't you worry I'll fix it, it will come to me. I've heard good things about you from your little people here. That's not a bad start. So what do you say, wanna buy your newest recruit a pint? Or two?" Sera called from the side of the armoury, throwing her body over the stone barrier of the forge, looking like a child trying to climb over with her arms lazily draped over the edge.
Elissa looked at Vivienne who simply shrugged as if to say "if you must" and waved her off to continue bullying Harrit into completing the new armour first and only using the finest materials they had. Sera took her chance and grabbed Elissa by the elbow and raced to the tavern, eager to get to know who she'd be working with personally.
"Alright Lady Flashy bits-sh-"
"Of course you've spoken to Varric-"
"Tell me thish yeah, if you had to hunt either a bear or a drag'n to offer ash gift to shum noble whos-its-whats-its face," she slurred, already too many pints deep into their conversation. "Wish one would you shooze?"
Elissa stared at the elf and tried to blink away the warm, happy fuzziness that had seemed to overtake her whole body. She could not recall a time she had been this intoxicated since waking up in the dungeons and she wondered how she managed to not get blind drunk with everything that had been thrust upon her in the last couple of months.
"Shoes? I have to give my shoes to some noble? Why? They must have plenty of shoes already," she complained looking at her boots. "I only have these ones... but I guess with Vivienne here she'll make sure I get some more. I think I used to like shoes a lot," she answered sleepily.
Sera squinted and pulled a face at her answer before taking a long swig of her drink and wiping her mouth with the heel of her palm.
"Yeah 'right, thasss' an answer."
"What?"
"Exactly."
"... What?"
"Another pint!" the rogue cried out with her arm in the air, mug raised high. Elissa could see Flissa tut behind the counter and sent one of the girls to top her up. "C'mon Flashy-flash, 'av one mur roun' wit me," she grinned, slightly swaying in her seat. Elissa shook her head and raised her hands in surrender, unsure if she would be able to make it back to her cabin as it was.
"Nuh-uh Sera, not tonight. Sleep first... maybe puke a little... then back to sleep," she said as she moved her chair back and stood up, thankful that the world was still right side up. Sera pouted and tried to pull at her hands to sit her back down but had accidentally pulled down a random soldier instead of Elissa. "Huh- Flashy- you look diff'rent."
"I-I'm not the Herald of Andraste," she replied, baffled, looking between Elissa and Sera; the latter of which snorted happily.
"Ooh no but you're right pretty," she beamed at the woman just before she barked at her. Elissa said goodnight to the drunk elf and wandered back out to the camp, set on getting to her cabin before Leliana or Cassandra saw her state and lectured her. She had every intention of doing that until she lost control of her feet and she cascaded into the side of a building, offering a very paltry 'sorry' as she tried to stand up but failed. She was so tired and so very drunk she entertained the idea of just sleeping on the ground and praying to Andraste she didn't freeze overnight. With the amount of alcohol in her system she figured she had good odds of surviving.Alcohol didn't freeze… right?
"... Herald?" Solas said, looking down at her, unimpressed but amused at finding her face up beside his hut.
"What are you doing in my cabin Solas?" she asked, still laying on the ground, a large smile on her face. Solas found her giddy mood catching and mirrored her smile, crouching down to make sure she hadn't really hurt herself in her obviously drunken state.
"I think you will find, dear Herald, that this ismycabin which you so unceremoniously knocked into."
"Nuh-uh, I was walking to my cabin from Flissa's-"
"So you were walking in the wrong direction entirely."
"... I thought we were friends, Solas."
Solas chuckled again and wiped his face with his hand with charmed vexation at the younger mage's behaviour. He would not deny her the chance to laugh and enjoy wherever she could, she deserved at least that.
"Hey Solas."
"Yes Da'len?"
"You have a wonderful cleft chin. Always thought so. Best I've ever seen, could rest a sword in that thing."
"... Thank you."
"I'm cold," she pouted, wrapping her arms around herself but made no move to stand. He extended his hand and she took a moment to consider if she wanted to move but when another shiver ran through her body, she took it and pulled herself up.
"Come, warm yourself by my fire."
She hadn't meant to fall asleep in his cabin, but she was so warm and so comfortable- the last thing she remembered talking to him about was the need to keep training her, to have her more vigilant over her thoughts and fears. Get her used to the pain she felt so that when it came to her, even without any notice, she could get through it and stay conscious- and that came through training. Training her mind, body, and magic.
When she finally sat up from Solas' bed (she could only imagine the gossip that would run rampant in town after she emerged from his cabin)and slipped her head out of the door to see how busy it was before stepping out. She let out a sigh of relief when she realised that the coast was clear hurriedly tiptoed out so no one would be the wiser.
It was not until she reached the centre of the town that she realised that no one was around. Not one soldier, or scout or any of her normal companions. She was completely alone in Haven. The fear was instantaneous, forming a cold sweat on the back of her neck while making her body too warm. Heart thundering in her chest, her mind raced to think of what happened and where everyone could have gone overnight.
Elissa's breaths started to come faster, her lungs unable to fill as completely as they should. Shallow, empty gulps came in quick succession, making her feel faint- but she didn't have time for this. She needed to find them, help them wherever they were- she could do this. They looked to her and she needed to do this and-
A gust of energy shot at her from nowhere, forcing her to spin and parry it with a blast of her own. She scanned her surroundings for her attacker and almost cried out with joy when she saw Solas across the yard, a grin on his face.
"Not bad at all, Da'len. Did not think you'd be able to fend off that attack whilst you were so worked up," he acknowledged, closing the distance between them.
"I wasn't worked up," she lied, fully aware that the older man could read her like a book. "I was just exercising my ability to not be calm."
The apostate arched one eyebrow incredulously as his only argument and easily won their tête a tête.
"Where is everyone anyway? Is there some sort of whole camp training/evacuation drill I slept through?" she asked, ducking from a blast of ice her tutor sent toward her.
"Do not worry about them, Da'len, they're all fine, worry about yourself- I will no longer take it easy on you. It is time we truly got serious about your training," he announced, emphasising his point with a well-aimed fireball to her face. Elissa stepped to the side and cast a flurry of spells at him which he had no issue deflecting or negating with his own.
"You should also take the opportunities to learn from Dorian and Vivienne, our styles are varied and you will benefit from-good parry!- from training with them as well," he continued without breaking his stride.
Elissa grit her teeth as one of his attacks flew by her. Failing to evade it completely, the flames licked at her left bicep and she hissed through her teeth, the sizzling of her flesh making her feel nauseated. She had no time to wallow in pity as Solas continued to barrage her with attack after attack. She ran through the pain, clutching her injured arm against her chest as she tried her best to conjure up her magic with the other.
"Come on now, Herald, you can do better than this," he taunted her, "youhaveto be better than this!"
"I'm trying!" she yelled back out to him, her fear slowly resurfacing against her will.
"Try harder," he scoffed, shooting shards of ice her way, three managing to pierce in a line between her stomach and upper thigh. She screamed from the stinging sensation of the freezing ice embedded within her, doing her best to disregard the blood dripping down her body. "I warned you Herald, you will be tested."
Elissa growled at herself for succumbing to the pain, she knew she could fight through it, forget, just let her mind focus and she would somehow make it throu-
"You willnever win like this!"he snarled, rushing forward to her to attack her directly with his staff. She managed to block his attack but she was weaker from the constant ache radiating from her abdomen, the blood gushing from her wounds. If she continued like this, it would not be much longer before she passed out, and she was so sick of being unconscious.
"Show me who you are, Herald! Show me the miracle they all believe in and lay their lives down for!" he jeered, tripping her over as her injured leg faltered. "You are their only hope and you are failing them!"
Elissa's next breath turned into a sob as the world closed in on her. The pain from her injuries were nothing compared to the agony within her chest and her splitting headache. The mark flickered and spat out nasty sparks of energy from her hand as she started to lose her grip on herself. It started to glow ominously and she could feel herself being pulled apart. Solas' attacks did not stop, and she could not move away from him to regroup. All she could hear were his words echoing in her head.
She was failing them.
She screamed out in frustration and ignored the hurt that burned through her veins, dismissed the new injuries he inflicted, and drowned out all the unspoken things that haunted her- there was only this fight, only him and her. Nothing else.
Elissa threw her arm back, arcing her staff up like a sword and brought it down exactly like she had practised with Cullen, striking the apostate dead on his jaw. His head recoiled from the force and he reared back onto one knee, his hand clutching his face.
"You did very well, Da'len," he said quietly, peering up to her with such a proud expression that made her want to smack him again...
"You. Are a bastard," she wept, falling to her knees and finally allowing the pain to overwhelm her.
He nodded and used his staff to help him stand, not saying a word until he made his way beside her and sat down. Elissa flashed a glare at him but did not have it within her to be too mad at him; she knew he was right. It was no longer time to just teach her the basics to live, it was now time to teach her how to win.
"I apologise, I did not mean to train you so harshly," he admitted, looking around the abandoned camp. "However, when you managed to evade those first attacks you surprised me. You continue to surprise me. I should have known you always would from when I sat beside you while you first slept, and tried to study the anchor, you were a mystery then and you still are."
"I would normally say thank you for saving me, except I'm pretty sure you tried to kill me just now so..." she snarked whilst she made an obscene gesture with her hand. She sniffed as her tears finally came to a stop and calmed down. Even as exhausted as she was, she had to confess she felt lighter than she had in days. It felt good to train through the frustration and the worry and just be in the moment. Not to ruminate over what some townspeople had claimed about her. Not to fear she was just some sort of reanimated corpse, one fainting spell away from eating random villagers.
Not that she would have told any of that to Solas at that moment- no, he was still a bit of a bastard.
"If I wanted to kill you, Da'len, a few parries and a hit on the head would not be enough to stop me," he blustered, a sly smirk on his face. Elissa knew that it wasn't just bravado, he truly meant it and she really believed him. How was everyone on her team so damn terrifying?
"You're really bad at comforting people aren't you Solas?"
His smile faltered but he agreed with her nonetheless.
"If it makes you feel any better, Cassandra once threatened to have me executed as an apostate if I didn't produce results in helping you," he chuckled, the memory now more endearing than threatening.
Elissa snorted and winced at the sharp pain in her stomach from the new movement.
"Yeah but can you really say you're friends with Cass if she hasn't threatened to kill you at least once?"
"So all along, Master Tethras and her have been the best of friends?" he joked, his head tilting to the side.
"Pfft. I'm sure if they just got this whole Hawke thing out of their system, they'd be much,muchbetter friends," she implied.
"Your magic has come a long way, Da'len," he continued, only a smirk at her previous comment to prove he had heard her say it at all. "Your command of the skies grows by the day, you've taken a real shine to using lightning and frost type spells."
"They remind me of the sea," she said wistfully, edging closer to him.
"Have you been to the sea? Not like Redcliffe, but a proper sea that greets the ocean with waves that crash and leave you feeling small," he asked her but instantly wanted to slap himself when he saw the sadness on her face. "I- of course. You do not remember, do you?"
Elissa licked her lips and slowly swayed her head from side to side, fed up with herself.
"I am sorry, I did not mean to make you sad," he apologised which she shrugged off.
"No need. Not your fault this happened to me anyways, it is what it is," she replied miserably.
"You were the reason I stayed here, Da'len," he suddenly said, changing the subject quickly to stop her falling into further despair. "I was ready to flee when you wouldn't wake up no matter what I did… but then you did, all on your own, and there you were, holding the key to our salvation. Right then, I felt the whole world change."
Elissa stared at him and knew he was telling her something important, something that hid beneath his words that she wasn't quite understanding.
"Felt the whole world change? From watching an odd human woman wake up?"
"It was just a figure of speech, Da'len," he chided, looking at her from the corner of his eyes.
"You're a good friend Solas, I appreciate that. Even if you can't pronounce darling right, I still think you're a good egg," she said, pressing her hand against her wound, relieved that the bleeding seemed to have slowed right down.
"... Pardon me?"
"Oh I didn't mean that you're a good egg because you looked like an egg-"
"I did not realise that you meant it any other way than me being a good person-"
"You're a very handsome egg if I had to compare you to one-"
"No- Elissa- what did you mean about how I pronounced darling?"
"See youcansay it- then why do you call me Da'len half the time?"
For the first time since she had met him, Solas seemed completely taken by surprise. He had not realised that he was calling her that, the term slipping past his lips so easily he thought nothing of it. Had he really been saying that to her for all that time? Was he so bereft of... he gave her a small, joyless smile that twinged at her heart.
"Forgive me, Elissa. I had not realised I was calling you this," he paused, awed by his own actions. "It... it... means little one, or child in Elvish."
Elissa smiled at him affectionately, touched by the term her tutor had been unwittingly calling her. Did she so long for her unknown family and friends that a mere nickname made her heart swell with such warmth?
"That's actually quite lovely, Solas," she stated, facing him.
"Yet, it is inappropriate and I should stop, thank you for letting me know," he replied tersely.
"Only if you want to. I actually think it's quite nice that you see me as someone you want to teach or protect... I don't have a lot of people like that around me at the moment. It's more the other way around if I'm being honest," she admitted, unable to look him in the eye. She checked her palms and could see the faintest trickle of blood still coming from the gashes in her body. "Is it inappropriate because your people would think it wrong for an elf to call a human a term of endearment?"
Solas pondered for a moment and thought about their strange circumstances. Was it wrong for him to call her Da'len? He had seen countless of his 'people' call humansvhenanand no one questioned them, why should this be any different? This woman had looked to him for guidance and help when so many of his own laughed him out of their camps and looked down at him for trying to teach them anything. What woulda flat earknow? His teachings from the Fade were too foreign to those caged in the alienages, too much for them to understand and vastly too different from their way of life to even take a moment to listen to him.
Yet here she was, a human, eager to learn from him and apply his teachings. He had never felt more seen or understood in... he could not even remember. Language was just one small thing he could share, it seemed only fitting that he share it with her.
"If you are alright with it, then I see no need to stop."
"Is there a word that I could call you in return?" she asked in earnest.
"I.. I guess the closest term would be, Hahren. It means elder, a term of respect."
"Would that be ok for me to call you?"
"It would be... more than fine, Da'len."
"Oh good. Because calling you 'Daddy' really wasn't on the cards there."
Solas gaped at her and she burst into laughter, only stopping when she hissed in renewed pain.
"Urgh... could I get a little help here? I know you're probably sick of healing me but I'm really not okay," she asked, lifting her hands to him so he could see the blood that stained her skin.
Solas smiled at her and made no effort to move, a stark contrast to the other times she had sustained any injury or pain. "There's no need to heal you here, Da'len."
Elissa huffed incredulously. Sure, when she has a little fainting spell there's an army of people to watch over her and make sure she's okay- but when there is an actual wound to be closed, noone wants to get their hands dirty!
"No really, blood is literally pouring out of me,thisis the time one should be healed."
"You sass me no matter where we are, even here," he grumbled good naturedly, rolling his staff in between his palms as if he were twiddling his thumbs to idle the time away.
"I will sass you until the day I die, which coincidentally, will probably be today seeing as I'm haemorrhaging here. And what do you meaneven here?" she sniped at him, urging him to realise that his dear Da'len was at death's door, even if she didn't particularly sound or feel like it.
"Where do you think we are?" he asked all too smugly.
"... What kind of question is that?" she groused, annoyed at how unforthcoming he was all of a sudden.
"Think Herald. Where do you think we actually are?"
She stopped for a moment and looked around. It was too quiet in Haven, even with no one around them. Too perfect and still to be real- even the birds made no noise. There was no smell from the stew that was left on someone's unattended fire and no warmth emanated from the flames.
"... This isn't real."
Elissa looked back down at her wound, which was rapidly closing on its own, her pain all but gone.
"Now that is a matter of debate... probably best discussed after you,wake up."
Elissa bolted up, completely jarred by her dream.
She took in her surroundings and quickly surmised that Solas must have taken her back to her cabin the night before, her dumb ass probably passed out in the snow.
There was a soft knock on her door before it opened. Solas was on the other side holding two cups of what smelled like broth.
"Sleep well?"
Oh that smug, smarmy bastard.
"I had some odd dreams. Very odd dreams. I was there and you were there... and you were trying to kill me... and then there was mention of an egg..."
"I will take it as a compliment that I was in your dream. Egg and all. Remember, you came looking for me, Da'len. I had no idea that the Anchor would allow you to dream with such focus. But I am reasonably certain we are awake now, and if you wish to discuss anything, as always I would enjoy talking with you."
Elissa accepted the cup and took a tentative sip, the hot liquid cooled enough to drink. Her fingers tapped at the ceramic as she collected herself, unsure of where to begin.
"We were in the Fade."
"We were in the Fade," Solas confirmed.
"I met you there. I found you in the Fade as I slept."
"Correct."
"You trained mein the Fade.I didn't even know you could do that!"
"So it seems."
She took another long gulp of broth and let her thoughts process one by one.
"To work then, Solas."
The apostate raised his cup to her and took a drink himself.
"We will be focusing your spirit during our time in the Fade, Da'len. I will push you both in magic and in mind," he warned again, waiting for her to give him a sign she understood what he was saying before proceeding. "You can train with the other mages, Cullen and Cassandra during the day- but we will seek each other out at night-"
"Solas, this is all so sudden!" she joked, "what will people do? What will people say?"
"-and we will train and we will travel."
That piqued her interest enough to stop being an ass. Travel? Where? How? Elissa edged herself closer to the mage, every bit the image of an excited child.
"We can travel in the Fade?" she asked, practically bouncing on the spot with enthusiasm. "Like anywhere we want?"
"The Fade for each of us mirrors our surroundings, so the more you travel- the more you can see," he explained as simply as he could. "It is why I myself have travelled so extensively, to explore both worlds as much as one is able to."
Elissa's mood darkened considerably when she processed his words. It was all well and good, she could have already travelled throughout Thedas but it would be of no use, she remembered none of it.
"So for me… it would be Haven, Val Royeaux and the bleeding Hinterlands," she cursed. "Quick Solas, come with me to visit Lord Woolsley's pen. I think there was a hunk of dung you didn't see when we were last at Redcliffe."
"For now," he consoled, one hand gently patting her shoulder. "But with me, I can take you wherever you want to see after your training. The next time we meet, I shall show you the sea."
Elissa took a moment to realise what the man had said before she descended into laughter and unexpected tears rushed to her eyes.
"Now that, that is how you are meant to comfort people, Solas. Perhaps I will do as much training for you, as you do for me in the Fade, hmm, Hahren?"
Solas felt all the hairs on his body rise at the term of respect his young pupil had afforded him. One simple word rippled through him and shook him to his very core.
"Perhaps you shall, Da'len."