And we're officially more than half-way through!
I'd like to take a moment to thank all of you for reading and for your wonderful response throughout the story both here and tumblr.
I've written Taste of Strawberries since december 2012, yep not kidding! The first draft was over 450 pages long (more than 250 000 words in total!) before I had mustered up enough courage to start edit and post it in 2015.
So yeah, ToS has meant so much joy to me and blood, sweat and tears. It's kinda a heart project for me so it's so fantastic that there are people out there who not only enjoys reading it but really seem to get the story I'm trying to tell. And it truly helps when the doubts set it or I feel like giving up. So thank you for your patience and encouragement throughout the years!
Chapter 19
Heaven's in your arms
"I already told you, Mr. Abernathy. It won't be enough. You need stitches."
The doctor didn't even try to hide her impatience with him. She wasn't one of the Capitol's. District 8, by the sound of it. And not that it mattered but wouldn't you think, him being a key player in the revolution and all, she'd be at least a little kiss ass.
Well, not this woman.
"You hit the back of your head pretty badly", she went on. "So either we do this now or you'll be back here in a couple of hours. Your choice."
"Fine, just do it then," he growled. "Be quick about it."
He lay down on the gurney.
"And don't make me all bald, thanks."
"If you experiences any nausea or double vision…"
"Yeah, yeah, I know the drill," he snarled. "Now get this over with so I can go home."
This was so his luck. He went out to finally get his bag back and when he found all the bottles miraculously still inside he had some. Just a sip or two so what happened later sure as hell wasn't his fault. But he knew, no matter what he told Effie, she would pin this whole damn thing on him.
I should never have come here.
These past few days had been nothing but a complete disaster that he wanted to forget as soon as possible. Most of all he wanted to forget Effie's last outcry. Those words had shaken Haymitch to the core and he could only hope she would never bring it up again.
When he finally got to exit the hospital doors he felt more despondent than ever. He wandered the streets of the Capitol aimlessly, fidgeting with his hair to try and cover as much as possible of the white square of cotton bandage at the back.
After his long hours trapped in the ER darkness had fallen over the city and if he wasn't lucky and Octavia broke up with another boyfriend Effie was sure to be home.
He wound up on Heaven's Square and that was just as well. He couldn't face her like this. Not after everything. His neck was covered in dried blood, the nape of his jacket too and his shirt. She would lose it.
He pushed through the crowds of freaky looking men and women. Yesterday the traders sold fruit and vegetables here. Now it looked more Christmassy. Ornaments and shit. The bell tinkled when he pushed inside the pub.
"The men's room?" he asked and the bartender pointed. It was the same woman from his last visit here. He recognized the actual bird's nest balanced precariously on top of her hair.
The bathroom was just as crowded as the bar but it was amazing how quickly everyone vanished, face contorted in disgust, once Haymitch dumped his bloody shirt in the washbasin.
He turned the water running and rubbed his hand over his beard. It looked more grayish than ever. A direct result of his relationship with Effie, no doubt.
He sighed and added what felt like a gallon of soap into his pink laundry cocktail.
He knew he was unfair but why must she make everything so difficult and why did he care so much? Like right now. Why did he go to such lengths to not upset his silly escort? Anyone else, he would've told them to fuck off ages ago.
But of course, he knew the answer to that, didn't he? It was quite simple. And annoying.
He couldn't be without her.
Effie was like his favorite brand of whiskey. He couldn't take too much of her all at once and he'd have a headache in between. And still she was so fucking good he always came back for more.
She was a pain in the ass but she was his pain in the ass.
"Can I borrow a phone?" he asked as he dumped his bag on the shiny counter.
"Only for paying customers," the bartender replied.
"Alright, I'll have some fries then. To go. Thanks."
She reached for the phone but before she could give it to him it rang. Haymitch's heart leaped into his throat. He was immediately annoyed with himself and of course it wasn't Effie who called.
But the bartender disappeared again and Haymitch tapped his fingers against the counter as he waited. The rows of whiskey bottles on display tugged at his attention like a magnet but he forced himself to look the other way.
"Not thirsty?"
Haymitch turned with a frown and saw a curly-haired man in an orange suit jacket looking at him from the other end of the counter.
"I'll buy you a drink, handsome," the guy went on in that silly, high pitched accent that sounded even sillier from a man. "Scotch, right? No ice."
"No, thank you," Haymitch said. Which the Capitolian apparently took as an invitation because he picked up his fancy drink and had a seat right next to him. He adjusted his turquoise cravat and smiled, revealing a set of obviously bleached teeth.
"Heard you were back," he said. "People say you're buying an apartment here. That true?"
When Haymitch didn't answer he continued,
"It was about time we met. Name's Priapus."
Haymitch snorted.
"Course it is."
"Well, my parents named me Chrystopher. But I thought Priapus suited me better." He had a sip of his blue drink. "So, tell me, handsome. Are you as well endowed as you look on TV? I had mine pierced years ago. Famous for it, you know. I think we could have a good time, you and I. A real good time."
He reached out to have a feel and in half a heartbeat Haymitch had his wrist in an iron grip.
"Do that and you'll lose a hand."
Priapus chuckled, a sound that immediately turned into a groan when Haymitch tightened his hold.
"Easy, handsome. You're not in the Games now."
Luckily for Priapus the bartender chose that particular moment to return with the phone. Her eyes shot daggers at Haymitch but he turned his back to both her and Priapus while he dialed the only number he knew by heart.
"H-hello?" Effie answered after the forth signal, voice slurred and druggish. "Effie Trinket."
"Hey. It's me."
"Oh. Hello, Haymitch."
"Sorry I woke you."
"That's alright. Where are you?"
"The square." He glanced over his shoulder and sure enough, Priapus arched his neck to try and overhear the conversation. Haymitch moved further away and covered his hand over his mouth. "They're having this… I dunnot, carnival, Christmas market. Why don't you join us?"
"Oh, right," she murmured. "It's the first week of the December Fair. I forgot."
"Could be fun."
"But you hate this sort of events."
"Yes, well. Never stopped you before. So why don't you put on something horrible and come meet me, sweetheart."
He ended the call and handed the phone back to the bartender just as she placed a paper bag of hot, golden fries on the counter. He paid for it and hoisted his duffel bag up over his shoulder.
"She ruined you for other people, huh?" Priapus grinned. "Yeah, you're not fooling me, handsome. That was the little clipboard lady, wasn't it? She must have a fine pussy indeed to make the mentor of District 12 return to the Capitol. Course, I don't blame you. I'd fuck her every which..."
Haymitch punched him in the jaw. People shrieked and Priapus was knocked off his bar stool.
"Feeling better already," Haymitch muttered, heading for the door but his words were drowned by the bartender's.
"You are banned for life, sir!"
Priapus sat on the floor, a little dazed after his encounter with Haymitch. He touched his jaw, to feel it was still in place. Then he gave a loud chuckle.
"Wow! I think I'm in love!"
When Effie reached the square half an hour later she found Haymitch reclined on a bench with a bag of fries balanced on his stomach. The blinking lights twisted around the naked cherry trees showered him from blue to green to red to yellow. He lifted his hand in hello and at the sight of her hesitant, searching stare he pulled himself up and blew some breath in her face.
"Want me to touch my nose and count back from a hundred now?"
Effie drew a breath that couldn't quite count as a sigh and sat down next to him. He told her to put on something horrible but Effie looked lovely as ever in her pinkish coat with only a pin or two keeping her hair in place. From a Capitolian's point of view she stuck out as much as him now. Well, almost.
He tugged at his new cap to make sure it covered everything that needed covering and waited for the lecture. Because why have a good time when you could fight some more, right? But Effie surprised him. She only looked at his greasy paper bag and asked,
"Can I have a fry?"
Without a word he extended it to her. She took one and bit into it with apparent relish.
"Not afraid it'll go straight to your thighs?" he teased when she reached for another but Effie wasn't concerned.
"I run the treadmill almost every day," she said. "You are the one with a protruding belly."
Haymitch's brow crinkled and he was more than a little annoyed that her comment actually hurt.
"Thanks sweetheart," he muttered. "You know, you never complained before," he added after a pause. He glanced down at himself. "It's not that protruding."
Then he realized she was smiling. It was the first he'd seen in days.
He gave up.
"Did you sleep well?" he asked.
Effie nodded.
"I feel more like my old self again. What have you been doing all day?"
Haymitch shrugged.
"Stuff. Guy hit on me. Then I hit him. Now I'm barred for life."
"Ah, memories," said Effie with a small exhale. "But Chaff was worse than you. I'll give you that much."
Haymitch cocked his head like "Yeah, good point."
"But you know there are ways to deal with people that doesn't include fights."
"Yeah? Like you and Gloria?"
"That was different!" she said and flushed pink. "Completely different! She asked for it! I was only defending youand district people in general!"
"Don't worry, Effs. He practically thanked me."
"Who was it?"
"Something 'puss'."
"'Puss'…? Do you mean Priapus?"
"That's the one."
"Oh. Well… then…"
"It's OK?"
"No, no! I didn't say that. It's just… He went home with my date once. Took his chance when I went to the ladies' room and that's just bad manners."
She reached for another fry and Haymitch playfully slapped her hand.
"Done some shopping, I see," she said and nodded to his new, gray cap.
"Yeah. Felt a little chilly out so thought a cap was in order."
"They're called beanies."
"Really? Doesn't look like a penis to me." Effie burst out laughing. "A condom, maybe."
"Not penis, Haymitch! Beanies. Or in your case, beanie. With a b."
It was good to hear her laugh again. It lifted the woes off his chest. She swallowed the last of her fries and got to her feet.
"And I wouldn't mind having a look at the market, actually," she smiled. "Care to join me?"
Back in Twelve while the rest of the district, Katniss and Peeta included, danced on the square, Haymitch and Effie had the flu. Haymitch's fault entirely, Effie stated, sad and annoyed beyond belief that she was now missing the actual Harvest Festival she so looked forward to. It was difficult to say what was harder, Haymitch thought as he lay there on the bed, dying in a tangle of sheets. Surviving the flu or survive being confined to a small space with a sick Effie Trinket.
Of course, this December Fair was hardly anything like what he was used to. If you didn't count the Capitol celebrations he had to suffer through when he was a mentor.
Maybe tonight wasn't quite as grandiose and vomititious as that but between the light show, the pompous music and the stalls where you could get tattoos and piercings on whichever part of your body you pleased – you sure knew which city you were in.
How long would it take, he wondered, now that the borders were open, before these Capitol citizens resembled normal people? Decades? Centuries? Never?
But the kids chased each other round the square, just like in Twelve, apple-cheeked and excited over a night when they got to stay up late. He heard bits of Christmas carols as they ran by. Capitol Christmas carols but still.
And there was one great thing about this market – apart from the fact the Capitolians were so giddy with everything else that happened around them, they forgot to stare so much at Haymitch and Effie.
The food. There was no end to the delicacies lying in wait and the air was heavy with smells. Deep-fried pancakes topped with sugar and jam and chocolate, hot chestnuts and truffles rolled in cocoa, strong coffee in tiny cups, bite-sized gingerbread houses.
Effie took him from one temptation to the next until he was completely stuffed. It was amazing how well that woman knew his preferences. Better than he did himself.
Of course, in exchange he had to let himself be dragged along those other stalls which sold everything from snow globes with tiny Capitol buildings inside to ridiculous santa masks with famous faces printed onto them.
"Wouldn't these look stunning on me?" Effie sighed as she admired a pair of earrings. Haymitch glanced at the prize stick and winced.
"Seems like a waste of money to me."
"Well, I think they're very fancy", Effie said and held it to her ear so she could examine herself in the mirror. "Just like me. And I reallylike a memory of tonight."
"So buy 'em. You're loaded."
"You know, if I had a girlfriend," she went on innocently. "And she wanted a gift from the market, I would buy these in an instant. Absolutely! And then I'd say, 'To the most beautiful woman on the square.'"
She sighed, hand against her heart, moved by her own eloquence. Haymitch's lips curled upwards.
"Don't you think you're going out on a limb here, sweetheart? You, the hottest woman on the square? I mean… shouldn't we at least have a look around first? Make sure."
Effie tsked.
"Fine," she said and put the earrings back in place. "Forget it. I'm getting us some candy apples."
She walked off and Haymitch tilted his head, admiring her from behind.
"Your ass is at least an 8 and a half," he said. Effie just shook her head and blew him a kiss over her shoulder. He smiled.
Seem like tonight didn't turn out so bad after all.
And he would get her a gift. Only not a pair of earrings.
In a more secluded part of the square was a stall they hadn't visited yet. One that actually peaked his attention. Maybe because the trader, just like the doctor who patched him up, didn't look Capitol.
You could move across the country as you wished now and some people chose to leave their old lives behind and start over somewhere else. Even a few Capitolians had, according to Effie. Young people mostly.
Of course, those who moved to the Capitol were much fewer. Naturally. Paylor encouraged it with different projects and work programs. To make Panem less polorized, he guessed. But fact remained that most people born in the districts didn't want to live here and even if they did it was still very difficult for an outsider to find a decent job in the Capitol, not to mention a place to live.
But here was one. A plain-looking girl, around Katniss's age.
"Can I help you, sir?" she asked with the distinct accent of District 5.
He glanced around the different objects for sale and his eyes were immediately drawn to one in particular. He picked it up.
"You make all of these yourself?"
The girl nodded.
"We do."
When Effie found him a few moments later, leaned against a candy-cane striped lamp post the first snow had begun to fall. Big fluffy things. Snow flakes at the press of a button but it looked pretty still when they landed on Effie's strawberry blonde hair. She carried with her two shiny red candy apples mounted on sticks and he took them to hold.
"Got you something, Eff."
"Really?" she smiled.
"Front pocket."
She arched a perfect eyebrow.
"Are we talking about a new 'something' or something I already have at my disposal?"
"Find out."
She slipped her hand inside his jacket pocket and got out a square box about the same size as those apples, wrapped up and tied with ribbons.
"This is so sweet," she beamed at him. "You know, you didn't have to buy me anything, you."
Haymitch snorted.
"Yeah, right."
Effie loved it when he gave her gifts. Probably because it happened so infreakvently, apart from stuff you could eat or drink of course. She unwrapped this one, eagerly as a little kid.
"Oh," she said and her eyes lifted in surprise.
It was a goose. A porcelain goose, beautifully crafted. Dark, dusky eyes, neck arched to the side like it heard a noise.
Made her remember the origami goose she had gifted Haymitch back in District 12 all those months ago. Did he still have it?
Only this one was gray. A lady goose.
"So, what's the verdict, Trinket?" Haymitch asked and took a huge bite out of his apple.
Effie smiled at him.
"Not what I expected," she said. "And I love it. Of course I do."
"Something to remember me by when you break up with me," he said, half-jokingly but Effie grew serious.
"I never will."
An hour later they stumbled through her apartment. It was all but pitch-black but neither of them wanted to break apart for even a second. They tugged and tore at each other's clothes, kissed and kissed until they panted from the lack of air.
"If you keep on looking this handsome I can't be held accountable for my actions," she smiled.
"Yeah? And here I thought you hated my belly."
"When have I ever said that?"
Their lips met again and they bumped into a side table. Effie chuckled as he steadied them against the wall and with his hands in hers she pulled him into her bedroom where he had slept alone last night.
"I opened all the windows before," he said. "Aired it out so…"
She silenced his with a kiss.
"It's fine."
He reached for the zipper at the back of her dress and with some difficulty at the seam he opened it all the way down. She tugged the dress off down her shoulders and it fell in a heap around her ankles, leaving her in just her dark, lazy underwear.
A shudder ran through him when she slipped her hands inside his undershirt. He lifted his arms over his head so she could take it off and they lay down on the bed. Lips parted, their tongues met in a soft duel.
She tasted of apples. Tangy and sweet.
He tugged at the hem of her silk stockings and she lifted her hips so he could pull them down along with her panties. He tossed the tangled garments on the floor and dropped a kiss to her inner thigh.
"You're mine," she breathed. "Say you're mine."
"I'm yours, Effie."
He kissed his way up her leg and her tummy and she gave a soft giggle. He forgot how ticklish she was. He tried to unclasp her bra but there he failed, hopelessly. Perhaps in a few years he'd find a way to get inside Effie's lingerie on his own. Now she had to do it herself and she slipped out of it like it was nothing. She smiled at him, hair tousled from his touch and all the pins that jutted out from it. Fuck, was she gorgeous!
"You're gonna be the death of me," he mumbled and dipped his head low, taking one of her hard peaks in his mouth.
"I hope not," she said and closed her eyes. He still had the beanie on but Effie pulled it off and buried her hands in his dirty blonde hair. She always loved it when he did this to her and forgetful of anything else he swirled his tongue against the strained bud, covered her other breast with his hand and the room filled with the sounds of Effie's long, deep breaths.
He was so hard he could come just from this but he forced himself to focus as he kissed and licked her the way she liked it, leaving the nipple wet and glistening. He soon felt her tremble and quiver under his touch and knew she was close. He dropped one last kiss to her breast before he moved to the other one and gave it the same treatment.
"Haymitch," she begged. "Don't make me come! I want you inside me. Please, Haymitch. Please, now."
His pants and underpants were already half-off and he pulled them down completely, with her help. Out of habit he reached for his nightstand drawer where they kept the condoms only to remember there was no need for that anymore. Hand around where he was so hard and aching he eased himself into her, slowly, always mindful to not be too rough. It was Effie who rocked her hips up against him, begging for friction.
Beads of sweat rolled down his back and he abandoned his previous restraint and thrust into her in earnest.
They moved as one, joined at the hips and Effie had never felt more alive. With her arms and legs wrapped around Haymitch, her Haymitch, her heart was so full she thought it might burst.
She fought the urge to shut her eyes as he brought her closer and closer to release. She wanted to look at him and when he watched her come, harder than she ever had before, Haymitch couldn't hold back either. And why should he?
"Eff," was all he managed, his Seam gray eyes locked on her Capitol blue, before the pleasure made him spill over and he filled her with his seed.
Afterwards they lay in each other's arms, warm and sweaty and exhausted. He went soft again, still inside her, but none of them wanted to move. He felt her heart against his cheek, her fingers moved softly through his hair and he wished things could be like this all the time. No more struggles, no more fights. Just this.
He'd never move to the Capitol and she'd probably never move to a place like Twelve. But so what? He needed only look at her to know where his home was.
"Haymitch?"
"Yeah," he mumbled.
"What's this? I can feel something here."
Already half-asleep it took him a moment to get what she meant. Then he realized she was touching the back of his head. He immediately drew back from her but it was already too late.
"Why do you have a bandage?"
"It's nothing, Eff."
"That's not nothing! What happened? What did you do?"
"I didn't do anything," he said, put on the defense. "It was just some moron on a motorcycle. He drove right in front of me. I jumped back but it was wet so I slipped and…"
"Did you drink?"
"… hit my head on a litter bin."
"Did you drink? I know if you lie!"
"Well, so what if I did?" he barked. "It was just a sip! Don't know how that's any of your business. No, Effs, come on."
But Effie had pulled herself out of bed. His jizz ran down her thigh and she reached for her clothes that littered the floor.
"Eff." He swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "Stop," he said, hands against her shoulders and he saw the tears that threatened to spill over her lashes. He pulled her into a hug.
"You're so dramatic," he said. "I had fuck-ups during the Games that were a hundred times worse, remember? You never wept before. Why now?"
"If you really need to ask me that, you're not as smart as they think!" she sobbed.
"Trust me, Eff. It was nothing. Doesn't even hurt anymore. Let's just sleep now, OK."
He brushed his lips against hers, to kiss it and make it better but she didn't kiss him back. Didn't follow him when he tried to pull her towards the bed.
"Effie." He was begging her now. "You can't ask this of me."
He held her close and kissed her again. The most tender kisses you could even give someone but he only got his face wet from her tears.
Finally he gave up. They stood there next to each other, naked and yet like strangers and there was an ache inside of him where just moments ago, there'd been warmth and happiness. Hope. Foolish hope that she would let this go.
She wouldn't let this go.
"You don't want me to stay." It wasn't a question.
"No." Effie whispered. "No, I don't."
He couldn't even look at her after that. He just walked past her and opened her nightstand drawer, got out one of the satin soft hankerchiefs.
"Thank you," she mumbled when he gave it to her.
The next morning he was gone.
xXx
Dear Haymitch
I just want you to know I am sorry about how everything ended yesterday and for sending you away. You were so good to me and you deserved so much better. I hope you can forgive me and I hope you know I didn't tell you to leave the Capitol because I don't want you here. That I don't want you in my life. Truly I do. There's no one else I'd rather be with and the thought that we need to be apart to be able to stay together breaks my heart.
But I'm yours. I'll always be yours as long as you'll have me.
Love, Effie