Chapter 4: Welcome to my new normal

Notes:

So, this chapter is a bit earlier than usual. I'm updating it right now because I started with a new job and I need to change update time. For now, it'll be updated every second Tuesday. So next chapter will be updated on 16 July. Right now it's the best time for me and I don't believe I'll change it soon. But you never know what happens.

Lexi did her tests yet again. She tested her blood sugar. Lexi's medical scanner couldn't give them an exact number so the bed scanner needed to be used. After all of the tests were done she placed Ryder on an IV line.

"For what is that?" Ryder asked when Lexi connected the bag with the colourless liquid to her IV line.

Lexi finished prepping the bag, "Just some fluids. It will help with the thirst. This won't resolve it though."

"Lexi," Ryder started unsure if Lexi would even answer her question. "Do you know what this is?" she fiddled with her hands. "I can't lose this much time again."

"That's why we're looking into this," Lexi said. She must've seen the unconvinced look Ryder gave. "Look, if this is what I think it is then it won't take that long until we figure things out." She got a datapad from her desk, if Ryder wasn't mistaken it was the same one she made notes on. "But, let's wait for the blood tests and see how it goes."

Ryder didn't push Lexi. Lexi didn't want to speculate, she wanted to look at all of the results of the tests before going further.

Ryder took this time to rest, but it didn't help as much as she thought it would.

"I'm a what?" Ryder asked as Lexi handed her a datapad with pages and pages of information.

She blinked a couple of times as the news settled in. It was hard to swallow. Her mind started to race thinking what this would mean for her.

Lexi just told Ryder she was a Type 1 Diabetic. As much as she wanted to deny it she knew it was the truth. It made sense after all. Ryder knew more or less what the symptoms of Diabetics are and now that she thought about it she had most of those symptoms.

"Now that we know you have Diabetes we can treat it. It's good news," Lexi assured her, but it was in vain.

Will the Initiative let her stay as the Pathfinder?

A lot of humans knew what Diabetes is. Ryder was one of those people. It was one of those diseases everyone knew about. Everyone on the Tempest crew was healthy. They didn't have medical problems. If Diabetics maintained their blood sugar levels well they could live a long and healthy life, but she knew even well maintain sugar won't mean her sugar won't ever fall or go high.

What would happen if her sugar falls in the middle of a firefight? It's not like she can stop and eat when it happens. She can screw everything up.

Is this the end of her being a Pathfinder?

She knew that going there was her overreacting, but Ryder couldn't help it.

It took a while for her to realize Lexi was waiting for her to say something, but she had so many questions she didn't know where to start.

Instead of asking one of the million questions she had, another question popped inside her head, "How?"

Lexi seemed confused, "How does it work?"

"No," that wasn't the most important question. She could ask that later. "How did I became a diabetic? Why? There's no history of Diabetes in my family," the gears inside her head worked while she tried to figure this out. Talking helped. It helped her to think more clearly. Sort her thoughts out. "This is something that would've been picked up on previous check-ups. So what caused this?"

Lexi immediately got a guilty look. Either Lexi knew what happened. Or she had an idea, no matter how vague it was. And Lexi didn't need to give voice to that for Ryder to know.

"No," Ryder bit her lower lip. A lump formed in her throat and when she spoke her voice was shaky from the anger, "The virus," she clenched her fists so hard her knuckles turned white, "That's why I'm Diabetic. He did this." She referred to the Archon, both she and Lexi knew this.

Ryder knew being a Diabetic wouldn't be the worst thing in the Galaxy. So many people still suffered from it, and luckily with today's technology, it was easier to be maintained.

Less than two hundred years ago, or more specifically less than eight hundred years ago people had to make use of a test meter to test their sugar and inject themselves. Trying the different type of insulin to find the right one. For some, it took longer than others to find the right one. It was a frustrating progress.

However, today there are implants. These implants give insulin as your body need it. Some people called it a second pancreas, but that wasn't exactly correct. These people were still Diabetics. This wasn't a cure, but a way to help maintain it. They still needed to follow their diets. Avoid certain foods. Follow the rules. At times their sugar still got high, still fell. But they have more freedom. Freedom was something people grave. Some even feel they need it.

They tried. They tried finding ways to cure Diabetes. Trying to find a way to make Pancreas implants work, but there were too many complications. They couldn't find the perfect method. When cloning became a thing they tried to clone pancreases. For a time it gave people hope. Something to believe in. But later their hope was crushed. That wouldn't work either.

She was angry because without that injection he gave her she wouldn't lose weeks. She wouldn't have been delirious before and her brother and Jaal wouldn't have to see it. Asher would never say it out loud but she knew it freaked him out. Heck, it freaked her out. In a way, she felt like she couldn't trust herself. After that, she questioned herself so many times.

Did she actually talk to Liam before her mission? Did she set the coordinates for the Nexus? Or does she only thinks she did?

It was driving her mad. Slowly she could start to trust herself again but not 100%. And now this. He gave her Diabetics. Did he do it intentionally? Was this his plan all along? Or was it just a side effect?

"We can't be certain," Lexi said. Ryder didn't know how it was possible but Lexi looked even guiltier. "I'm waiting for the test results, but it's possible. I'm sorry Ryder."

"This isn't your fault," she couldn't look at Lexi so she turned her focus to the door. She wasn't mad at her but Ryder didn't want to see the guilty look of Lexi any longer. "He did this."

"If I was faster," Lexi's guilt overwhelmed her as she explained, "We could've caught it sooner then it wouldn't have attacked your pancreas."

Ryder took Lexi's hand, "You, Harry, and SAM found a cure. You worked your ass off. You refused to give up and for that, I'll be forever thankful." Ryder gave her a heartwarming smile, "You're the best doctor I could've asked for. You didn't do this to me."

There was a moment where Lexi nor Ryder knew what to say. For that reason Ryder was glad Lexi finally said something, "We'll need to go to the Nexus. I'll call Harry and make the arrangements."

"Alright," Ryder stood from the bed, "Are you going to remove the IV line?"

"No Ryder," Lexi crossed her arms across her chest, "You'll stay here."

"Fine," she said reluctantly. "So what now?"

"As I said," Lexi said, "We need to go the Nexus. They'll have the implant." Lexi went to the med bay fridge and opened a packet. The object looked like a pen. She pressed a couple of buttons on the pen and approach Ryder.

That's not what Ryder meant with her question but she decided to let it go. "What's that?" Ryder asked. "I never saw you use a pen before."

"It's not a pen," Lexi said, "It's insulin." That made a lot of sense. Ryder saw some old holos of insulin injections years ago. If she remembered correctly it was for a school project. "I'm going to inject you. Pull up your shirt," Lexi ordered.

"Shouldn't I do it myself?" Ryder asked as she did what she was told.

"Lucky for you, you won't have to thanks to the implant," Lexi replied as she injected Ryder.

Ryder expected to feel something. That it would burn as the insulin made its way into her body. But, all she felt was tingle of the needle as it made contact with her skin and smelling something that her nose wasn't used to, it almost had that hospital smell. Then it was over.

"That's it?" Ryder asked. She expected something more.

"That's it," Lexi confirmed.

Ryder's sugar needed to be tested hourly which meant she couldn't sleep very well. Her fingers had red marks where a needle made contact with the skin to take some blood. Her fingers hurting when she typed on her omni-tool.

Her brother was very bored on the Nexus. For that reason, he messaged Ryder a lot. He didn't really know people over there. He was lonely and had no one to talk to. She told him that she was a diabetic.

After she lied to him about Dad she decided to keep as few secrets from him as possible. This was a part of her life now. It was her new reality. He was surprised to hear that. The news was unexpected.

Of course, there are a lot worse chronic diseases out there but she knew she wouldn't be happy to hear if her brother had a chronic disease.

Testing her sugar like this would only be temporary. When they arrive at the Nexus an implant will be put in her arm. This was a different implant from the one she and Lexi talked about. Basically, it'll scan her sugar.

Jaal said he'll help to upgrade her omni-tool so that the readings of her sugar be read on the omni-tool.

It'll save her a lot of time and effort in the future. It wasn't a very long procedure.

It wasn't long before Jaal visited her. "Hey Jaal," she greeted.

"Ryder," Jaal greeted back. "Lexi says you're doing fine."

"Yeah, I'm doing better," she said.

"I…I didn't know you were sick," he avoided eye contact. Over the past few months, Ryder learned how to read Jaal. Getting to know him was something different. Every time they spent time together it brought her joy. He was beginning to become something special to her. Which was why she knew he was feeling guilty.

People suspected something was off with Ryder. She was acting strangely but nobody knew something was physically wrong with her. That she was suffering from Diabetes. Not even she.

"It's okay," she decided her path to approach him, "I didn't know either. It's not your fault and I'm not sick per se," she corrected him. "Diabetics is a long-term thing. If it's well treated I can live a healthy life. I'm still me. This is just part of my life now."

"Diabetics," Jaal tasted the word. "I…don't know what that is," he admitted. "Does everyone knows what it is?"

"No," she sighed. "Most humans know about it though. Do you want me to tell you about it?"

"Well… he considered. "If you are comfortable to talk about it."

"I don't mind," she shrugged. "So there are numerous of types but let's focus on the one I have." She sat up straight, preparing herself to explain this.

"Hmm…" Jaal hummed. Ryder had a feeling he had a lot of questions. "And they are the same illness?" he asked the first one.

"Humans have an organ called the pancreas. With Type 1 the pancreas stopped working altogether," she explained.

"What is the purpose of this organ?" he asked.

Ryder thought back to her Biology classes combined with the information Lexi gave her. "A pancreas produces something called insulin." Before Jaal could ask what that is, she continued," Think of insulin as a key to the door or maybe…" she stressed her mind for a better way of explaining it. "…a code to open the door. Food needs to reach their destination and without this key or code, it can't.

"Ah," Jaal understood her explanation. "That's why you are so hungry."

"Yes!" she exclaimed being happy that she explained correctly.

"So, how do you find this code?" Jaal asked. She could see how his mind worked, trying to find the answers.

"There's this trans-"

They both heard the med bay door sliding open. With it, Lexi appeared. "Ryder we need to talk."

As soon as Lexi said they needed to talk Ryder's mind worked overtime. Lexi sounded concern so bad news was the best bet.

"Ryder," Lexi started, "We have a problem."

"I kind of figured that Lexi. What's up?"

"I just heard from Harry," with that Lexi confirmed that this was indeed bad news. "There are no implants."

Ryder could hear the class of her world shutter. Without the implant how the hell would she function? How would she do her job? What-

No, I shouldn't overreact. I should hear Lexi out first.

"What do you mean there are no implants?" Ryder finally asked, her voice raising as panic settled in.

"When the Nexus Uprising occurred the implants were destroyed in the process," every word that Lexi said was a knife to Ryder. "It's not on their priority list to develop them right now."

"Because there are more threatened illnesses out there than Diabetics," Ryder filled in the blank. It didn't take a genius to come to that realization. It was a reality.

As years went by some illnesses found a cure and other illnesses developed. Like AEND, the disease that killed her mother. Scientists should rather focus on those illnesses. Ryder understood, and years ago people succeeded without the implants. So Ryder could as well.

The problem was life back then and now was not the same. The Galaxy changed. Hell, they aren't even in the same Galaxy. To go back to an old method was hard.

"We can use what they did years ago," Lexi said as if she read her mind.

"Lexi I'm the Pathfinder. To go back to an old method," Ryder shook her head. "It will influence everything."

"We'll make it work," Lexi sounded optimistic and Ryder had no idea how she could. Optimism is the last thing Ryder felt.

Ryder shook her head again but this time in denial. "How will this even work Lexi?" there was a sharp tone in her voice. "Do I inject myself hourly for the rest of my life?"

Lexi wanted to say something but Ryder didn't give her the chance, "Sure, it's not as high but that's because I've injected so many times a day. My fingers," she looked down at them, "has marks because you've been testing my freaking sugar every hour." Ryder was angry and it was the first time she went off like this on Lexi, "I don't know if I'm reacting this way because I'm pissed or exhausted."

"Are you done?" Lexi crossed her arms across her chest and looked like the calmest person in the Galaxy. It infuriated Ryder even more.

She looked stubbornly at the door and for the first time without a doubt wished she never decided to come to Andromeda.

She didn't know how long it was when she sighed, "Yes."

"You're angry. That's understandable. Years ago others made it work. So can you," Lexi said with all the confidence in the world. "Yes, this is a different world, a different Galaxy. It will take a lot of work, but it can be done. Just give it a shot."

"So what now?" Ryder asked. Her voice was shaky.

"We'll still go to the Nexus. We're almost there," Lexi started to explain, "I'll talk to Harry and see which insulin will be the best."

"Okay," it's all that Ryder could think of to say. She was too angry and pessimistic to say anything else.

When she found out about this she was fine with it. The transplant would make things easier. Not fix it, no. She knew even with the implant it would be different. But at least it would've been better than this.

After what happened with the virus and now this. She wasn't sure if the leadership was going to think she would be fit as Pathfinder.

Someone not being able to go on with a fight because their sugar fell was probably not the best person to be the Pathfinder. But Lexi was right as well she needed to try. There was in no way in hell she would let this disease stop her.

Ryder was sitting on her couch in her quarters. She convinced Lexi to catch up on her reports. It wasn't something she enjoyed but it helped to kill time.

They already arrived at the Nexus. Ryder is set to meet Lexi and Harry in a few hours. They had things to discuss.

"Pathfinder," she stopped to hear what SAM had to say, "Mr. Ama Darav would like to see you."

She frowned. She didn't know why Jaal would ask permission through SAM. It was no secret that Ryder had an open door policy. "Where is he?" Ryder sat up straight.

"In the tech lab. He said that he wouldn't want to disturb you if you were busy," the explanation SAM gave still didn't bring light to the situation.

"Why would he think he'd disturb me?" Ryder doubted SAM knew but it couldn't hurt to ask.

"Unknown. Perhaps you could ask Mr. Ama Darav," SAM suggested.

"Yeah, I'll do that." Ryder got up and placed the stack of datapads neatly on her desk. "Tell him to come here SAM."

"Acknowledge."

It wasn't long till her door slid open and revealed Jaal. In his hand was a datapad. She could only guess he wanted to show her something but she couldn't be sure what it was. Maybe it was a project he worked on?

Jaal always had these side projects and she loved seeing him working on them. It was true that she enjoyed spending time with him, however, that wasn't the main reason. It was fascinating for Ryder. Seeing how the different parts fit together. Working together.

"What do you have there, Jaal?" she asked.

"I thought we can start to upgrade your omni-tool," he said.

"Don't I need the implant first?" Ryder asked trying to understand how this works.

"No," he got out a datapad that held the schematics. "We can do it now and after your surgery, we can sync the device with your omni-tool."

"We?" she asked, a smile brightening her features.

"This can be our project together."