Chapter 16: My father's betrayal
Notes:
Many thanks to Pip_n_Flix for beating.
Tann wasn't unhappy when they talked via vid-call. Ryder was surprised. She wouldn't go as far as to say he was happy but he saw the necessity of her actions.
There was no talk of Ryder being fired, so she called it a win. Thus there were no consequences for her crew's actions but that didn't mean they wouldn't pay for them later.
The leadership was on board with Ryder getting to Meridian. This time they had the Nexus's support.
Ryder talked to Jaal. He was heartbroken and understandably so. She tried to be there for him as best as she could, but felt like she failed in that regard.
The Tempest needed to stop at the Nexus for restocking, but it wasn't until SAM told Ryder there was another memory she could see she was glad they made the trip.
Could this tell her something new about the Benefactor? She didn't know. Rix called too, he needed Ryder's help. Was it possible that he found the turian ark? She sure hoped so. She wondered what they would find.
With their previous mission out of the way Ryder truly saw how much work still needed to be done. But everybody's main focus was where it should be. When they found Meridian everyone would have somewhere they could call home.
Maybe they could even find a way to defeat the kett. One problem at a time.
Ryder blinked her eyes. Once. Twice. Her jaw was on the ground. Her eyes couldn't believe what it just saw.
How should she even feel about this? Relief? Anger? Betrayal? She didn't know. How could her father do this to them? More importantly, how could he do this to their mother?
Her father always had a new way of shocking her with his actions. Even now.
Ellen Ryder was alive but in stasis. Alive. Her illness was frozen.
What did this mean for them? Who needed to know? Did Tann need to know? She didn't even want to tell her brother. How is she supposed to tell him she's alive after they had mourned her?
Rage. They said goodbye to her. They held a funeral for her. People told her, "sorry for your loss," or, "my condolences," more times than she could possibly count. And Alec Ryder just took that? Why? Why wouldn't he tell them?
Betrayal. This was why she was made Pathfinder. To oversee this. She was happy her mother was alive. But she could've told Cora about this or… better yet he shouldn't have kept this a secret. Did mom even know? She doubted it. Mom said her goodbyes, she thought she was going to die. She was tired of fighting. She wanted this to end. Why couldn't dad tell them? What was it with secrets in this family?
Then Ryder felt sad and disappointed because even though her mother is alive they hadn't found a cure for AEND. They couldn't wake her up. It was like she found her mother again after thinking she was dead for years and finding out she's alive just to have that hope crushed in seconds again. It was a cruel sharp knife to her chest.
"I never understood him. Even now his actions make no sense." She hadn't realized she spoke the words out loud until it was too late.
"Will you be telling Asher about this?" Ryder was thankful that he waited so long before speaking. Maybe SAM knew she needed some time. The news about her mom was much bigger than the tiny parts she heard about the Benefactor.
"Yes." There was no doubt, no hesitation in her words. "He needs to know."
Why did you leave such a mess Dad? Why did I need to do all of this for you to tell me about this?
If I knew…
But what would she have done differently? Would she have stopped him? No, she couldn't have. Once her dad set his mind on something there was no way of stopping him. But she would've done something. Maybe told her mom. Maybe they could've done this as a family.
Mom was home after being in the hospital for weeks. She was getting weaker and weaker and each time it broke her heart, but still, Dad wasn't there. He didn't give her the support she needed.
He was locked into his office. No one should disturb him and he sure yelled at her the one or two times she came in to hear if he wanted something.
Was he always like this? Amber and her father never had a good relationship - they had no relationship at all - but over the years they drifted even further apart. They only talked when they needed to. Nobody made an effort to do so.
She tried for years to seek out his approval. What made her stop? Was Niria the reason she stopped?
Amber stopped caring and it made things easier for a while. There was no way of fixing it, so why bother?
"Yes your dad is still in his office," Ellen Ryder said once Amber looked down the hall for the hundredth time as if he would appear.
"He should be there for you." She didn't talk a lot about her dad with her mom. The way her mom saw him and she saw him were as different as day and night. It was to be expected. Besides, it was her mother's husband. She'd always defend him. But sometimes it was time to speak out.
Unlike Amber, Ellen Ryder wasn't mad. "Come sit," her mother said from over the couch. She did as she was told. "Your father has his own way of dealing with this."
Being busy with work instead of being here wasn't dealing with it. It was ignoring it.
"He shouldn't spend all his time like this. You need the support."
But her mother smiled knowingly, "Like you needed to pursue this he needs it too. You two are so much alike in ways, no matter how much you want to deny it."
Silence. That was the answer. Her mother was right, she tried to find a cure as well. But when she couldn't find one she stopped. Amber didn't want her mother to find out, but it was her fault.
She was exhausted, using all of her free time to find a cure and then when she visited home she left her datapad for all to see. She and her mother had a long talk afterwards. She didn't know the whole story though, it was better not to share that part.
"I'm nothing like him." It was always an insult to her when people said she was like her father. She was determined to be better.
If by any chance she had a family of her own one day she'd do things differently. Work was always number 1 on his list and that isn't how things should be.
"Your father isn't perfect. None of us are." Her mother tried to sit up but she was too weak. Amber went to her side and tried to help her, she gave her a look that said thank you. "Look I know you and him," she looked at the side where his office was, "haven't always seen eye to eye. But both of you need to find a way to make things work between the two of you."
She wondered if mom had the same talk with her brother. Asher and her dad had other problems but their relationship was just as bad. This wasn't the first time her mother spoke about this. Ellen Ryder always wanted her children to have a good relationship with her husband. But things never worked out like that.
"I tried mom." And it wasn't a lie because she had, it just wasn't good enough. "If he isn't willing then there's nothing I can do." The way her mother was looking at her made her feel guilty. "Lets just leave it at that."
"You need to make things right with him, before it's too late."
But she never did. And now she'll never have the opportunity to do so.
Here he proved again that he worked alone. She blinked a couple of times. Ryder wasted enough time. It was time to tell her brother.
But how? Maybe she should just show him mom. Hundreds of scenarios played in her head. Each outcome didn't turn out well.
This just got a whole lot complicated.
Asher could walk around. He didn't need to lay in bed all day and Ryder was pretty sure he was happy about it.
Ryder already sent a message to Harry, asking if she could borrow him. She was vague with details, and she was worried he wouldn't let Asher go. He had the good sense to agree to her request.
"Hey," her brother greeted her. He was happy to see her and if she knew him as well as she knew she did, then he was glad for the company. The Ryders weren't made to lay in bed all day.
"Want to go for a walk?" It came out as a question but it was a suggestion. She decided to show him. "There's something I want to show you." Not want, she reminded herself, need.
On the way over she had thought about how she should break the news to him. But she still didn't know.
Asher frowned as he looked at her, "Sure," he sounded unsure. She didn't know why until he spoke, "Sounds serious."
As they walked down to cryo she realized how much her brother really improved. He was almost back to his old self.
"What?" he asked after a while. And Ryder realized she must've been staring
"Nothing," she shrugged, but Ryder knew her answer wouldn't be enough. "You've improved. A lot."
"Yeah, I'm ready to get out of here." But Harry wouldn't agree. A while ago they talked. They kept in contact. Ryder wanted to be updated and Harry did his part.
He told Ryder that her brother was doing much better, and he was getting there but not yet. There was still a lot of improvement that needed to be made.
"So it wasn't the real deal." Ryder was startled by her brother's words. She was lost in her thoughts and had no idea what he was talking about, she searched her mind but came out empty.
"I'm lost," she admitted. "What are you talking about?"
"Meridian," Asher clarified.
Oh, of course, he would ask about that. It was only natural. Meridian affected all of them.
"Yeah." Ryder meant to call her brother, telling him the great news. But honestly, she forgot. She had too much on her mind. Keeping in contact with her brother was sometimes difficult. Maybe she was more like her father than she realized.
Ryder immediately regretted the thought because that wasn't true. Being a Pathfinder isn't the most important thing in her life. She loved it, yes, more than she thought she would, but it was far from everything.
"I should've called." They stopped. Cryo felt cold and it sent a chill to Ryder's spine. It reminded her of so much. Her waking up. The Hyperion hitting the Scourge. Her brother's coma. And of course Habitat 7. For her first few months in Andromeda, she thought she was alone. None of them had it great here. But… things could've been so much worse. "I'm sorry."
To her surprise he understood. "Don't worry about it. You'll call next time."
Her brother looked at her as if he was expecting something. But whatever he was looking for wasn't there. "Okay," he stated when Ryder looked at the pod where their mother lay in stasis. "Something's up? What's going on?"
Ryded sighed. This was the moment of truth. The moment Asher finds out, just like she did. She wished she could guess how he would react but the truth was it was impossible to say.
"We're here," Ryder said, staring at her brother.
"You wanted to show me this?" He looked at the pod. Studying it, "Why? What's so special about this?" He squinted his eyes as he read the name. "Elizabeth Reily."
Ryder took a deep breath. Her stomach twisted and turned at uncomfortable angles. And her heart beat faster than a few seconds ago didn't exactly help. "I don't know how to tell you this."
"Just spit it out." It sounded so easy. So simple. Just say the words out loud. Oh, how she wished it was that simple. But how do you tell someone the person they thought was dead was actually alive. Ryder had a difficult time believing it herself.
"That's not Elizabeth Reilly," Ryder began but she still couldn't form those words. Just say it. Mom is alive. Why couldn't she just say it? It shouldn't be so hard. "Mom…" but she couldn't say the words. So Ryder said the next thing "Dad kept a lot of secrets."
Asher stared at the box in confusion and Ryder couldn't help to wonder what he was thinking. "We all knew it. Is this one of them?" He stared and stared. "Amber just say it. It can't be so hard."
Ryder bit her bottom lip, saying it won't change anything. It won't make it any more real. She should just do it. Make it quick. Rip the bandage off. "It's mom."
"What has this to do with…" And then it sunk in. Asher knew the truth but he couldn't believe it either. "No," he said slowly. "That's not possible." He stared at his sister, "We buried her."
Ryder tried to swallow the lump in her throat but no matter how hard she tried it didn't pass. She knew telling her brother wouldn't be the easiest thing but she didn't think it would be this hard. "We never saw a body," she reminded him. Ryder tried to keep her voice strong, steady, but instead, it came out shaky, even broken because that's how she felt inside. This changed everything.
"He wouldn't do this." Denial was clear as daylight. And Ryder had to admit if she didn't see this memory herself she wouldn't have believed it. "It's too far. Even for him."
Apparently, it wasn't. It was shocking, at least to her, after all these years how he could still shock them by his actions. When they thought his actions wouldn't surprise them any more she was proved wrong time and again.
She gave her brother a sad smile and spoke softly, barely louder than a whisper, "He did."
"I mean it's great news." She could see the way he tried to shake himself right, how he felt guilty that he wasn't immediately happy by this news, just like she was. "Mom is alive. But what he did was…"
"Unethical. I know," she filled in the blanks.
"Dad betrayed Mom." He did what was best for himself not for the rest of the family.
Mom was ready to die. This illness took a lot out of her. She fought and did her best. In the last few months, she didn't want to fight anymore. She wanted to be free. She didn't want to wait for a cure that will never come.
At first, dad didn't want to. But later he reluctantly agreed. He started to spend more time with her, but according to Ryder, it was still not enough. He disappeared. And when Ryder was looking for him she found him in his office. He was secretive, annoyed that she found him. Even angry. And when she asked he dismissed it. Alec Ryder was too secretive about it. But now she knew why. They knew why. He put a mask on and they all fell for it.
"Sometimes it's like we never knew who he was."
Ryder understood 100%. "Yeah, I know. There's something else too." She avoided his gaze for the next part. "I was made Pathfinder to oversee this, but that's not all. There was a Benefactor."
"Someone who funded the Initiative." The guess was accurate. Precise, but not shocking. As if Asher expected something like this. "It makes sense."
"Yeah, I guess it does." It seemed like Asher thought the Initiative more through than she ever did. But he was more a thinker than she ever was. A couple passed them and Ryder was reminded how easily they could be overheard.
"After we're done here we should talk. Somewhere nobody can overhear us."
The two Ryder siblings stayed another hour. Looking at their mother and deciding what needs to be done. Everything was too hectic now and for that reason, she knew she couldn't bring it to anyone unless it was necessary. She might need to include Lexi, Harry, and the Nexus scientists.
But unfortunately finding Meridian was more important right now. This needed to wait.
"Why are we talking somewhere private?" Asher asked as they sat on a bench. It wasn't private exactly but as much as they could be. Ryder could've taken him to their father's old room but being there will just remind her how mad she's with him.
There was no such thing as private on the Nexus.
"Dad had more secrets."
Either Asher was annoyed or frustrated by this. She couldn't tell. It was bigger than them. This concerned the Nexus. "This time I can't blame dad for not telling anyone."
She immediately recognized the emotion that flashed through her brother's face. "You don't? This seems unlike you. You never agreed with anything that Dad did."
"That's not true," she denied but didn't say anything else regarding that when she saw the look of disbelief Asher threw her. "It's not about us," she admitted. Ryder needed to warn her brother first. "You can't tell anyone about this. I didn't even want to tell you. But, I promised no more secrets." Maybe it was the wrong thing to do. Maybe she was putting her brother at risk. And for what? To keep him happy. If something happened to him because of her she didn't know if she'll ever be able to forgive herself. Asher might not be the only family left, as she thought, but he was the only one who was awake. They didn't even know if Ellen Ryder would get a cure. And even if she did she didn't know if it would be in their lifetime. But going there was something she didn't have the energy for.
"Is there some kind of conspiracy theory?" It might've been a joke but Asher didn't know how near to the truth he was. Her face must've given it away. "Wait? Really? Tell me." This time it was more out of curiosity than anything else.
"Jien Garson was murdered. It wasn't an accident." Ryder didn't need to be more clear, everyone knew who she was and what she did. "She left a recording. I listened to it. But that wasn't all. There's evidence."
His eyes widened twice in shock. "Tell the leadership." It was too loud and she nudged him in the ribs. "What was that for?"
"We can't. She was murdered. Why do you think that is? We can't trust anyone with this. You got it?" Ryder wore her most serious expression. They didn't know who was involved. "It was also good that we left."
"Why?" This was meant to be a serious thing but this was the most excitement Asher had since he woke up from his coma. He sat up straighter as he got more and more interested in the story."
"There's a race called the Reapers, they were coming for The Milky Way. This Benefactor knew about this. But Dad had other sources too. Commander Shepard, you remembered her, right?"
Who could forget about Shepard?
"What? Was she one of Dad's contacts?" Asher had the right to ask but there was no sign that their dad knew her personally.
"No, not exactly. Castis Vakarian had a son Garrus Vakarian," she explained, "he worked with her. She had warnings but no one listened."
"This is bad. Is this really best to keep as a secret?"
"Probably not," she admitted with a shrug. This information should be shared. People needed to know about the reaper invasions. The recordings that Ryder listened to weren't very pleasant. People were fighting for their lives. But it was too dangerous for people to know. "I don't think the Benefactor would appreciate this information to be leaked. So, for now, yes it would be best to keep it a secret.
But Asher couldn't see it. "For now? You want to know who this Benefactor is, don't you?"
"Wouldn't you?" Ryder threw the question back. "If this Benefactor didn't cause any trouble then fine, but this isn't the case. Jien Garson was murdered. Who knows about their other victims?"
"But you don't have proof it's the Benefactor, do you?"
"No," she sighed more out of frustration than anything else. "But it's the only thing that makes sense.
"Fine," he agreed. "We tell no one."
Dad, what did you get yourself into?