Chapter 17 - Ain't No Way We're Stopping Now (1:13-14)
Author's Note: Behold the final moment of quiet before everything blows up. 💖💖💖
Don't ask what Mirror Prison is. If it's a real thing, I'm officially spooked, because I have no idea. It just sounded like something Cid would like.
I know, I gave Hunter and Vision practically an entire chapter of their own. What? He deserves it. :) xD
~ Rivana Rita
"Don't worry. Hunter'll get us out," I promise, squeezing my sister's hand.
"Is he your father?" Mr. Green and Ugly asks.
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?"
**w**
"Can I call you dad?" I ask, jumping into Hunter's lap. He reaches out to steady me instinctively, so I don't fall off, my words taking a moment to catch up with him.
I'm decently certain this is the very first time I've ever seen Hunter completely mind blown.
"What?" I ask, when he just stares, "I thought the purpose of parents was to take care of their kids, and isn't that exactly what you do?" I've been thinking about it a bit too much after seeing Hera interact with hers. That's not a relationship I really understand, but I saw them, and I saw Cut and Suu with their children, and it makes me wish we had someone. I blame the – what was his name? The meanie who stole Cid's parlor? – for even thinking about this. He's the idiot who thought Hunter was my dad, so I had to ask.
I just like that thought, okay? It makes me feel wanted. It makes me feel like I belong. I fit with people, not... some label. It's complicated.
"Yeah," Hunter acknowledges, blinking a few times. He still seems thoroughly caught off-guard. "I suppose, but you're my sister. That's not really my daughter."
"I'm your niece," I remind, raising an eyebrow.
Hunter laughs, hand gripping my shoulder. "Yes, you are."
"'mega had a child when she was like, four? Isn't that weird on natborn standards?"
"I honestly have no idea."
"Anyway," I say, reaching up to touch his shoulder. His armor is hard and cool under my touch. He looks... peaceful, and I genuinely can't remember when I last saw that on Hunter. I think it was... months ago, back before the Outer Rim Sieges. "That's not my question, anyway."
He still looks a little blown away by the question. It's... personal and weird, but really, that's kinda what I am. "I – yeah," Hunter agrees, and he sounds a little breathless for some reason. "If that's really want you want?"
I have no idea why he's so unreasonably nervous about this. It's almost ridiculous, but I push myself forwards, half kneeling in his lap and throwing my arms around his neck. Hunter's arms wrap around me as I press against him. It's soothing, relaxing to be held by him. He's safe. He always has been.
And I'd do anything to keep him the same.
I've always cared about him, but it was never really until we left Kamino that it really... cemented. What I feel towards him now is an overwhelming, all-consuming drive to – to – I don't know, but I want him to be okay.
I want... to be whatever it is that he wants me to, and I trust him, so I know he'd only want me to be me.
"I'll hafta find the next non-weird opportunity," I supply, "Because this is gonna take some getting used to."
"Yeah," he agrees. He's so gentle, I can easily see why he's our leader. And why he's stayed that way his whole life. I can't really imagine that. I'm only responsible for Omega, and it's exhausting and terrifying and sometimes, I have no idea what to do. I don't know how he does it.
I bury my face against his neck, for once letting myself relax in the calm and peacefulness of his embrace, the one place in the galaxy I know I'll always be safe.
**w**
The missions Cid sends us on are always pretty crazy. I usually love it, and I can't help making a mental list of all the crazy things I need to tell Crosshair whatever century we see him again. There's so much that's happened.
I'd appreciate it a shred more, though, if it didn't mean going into old, spooky buildings that just give me the creeps. I have no idea what we're doing here. I could swear she explained everything, and we had to go inside to get something, but I zoned out through the entire briefing. Oh, well, I guess – as long as I follow everyone else, I'll be fine.
How does that work, though? As splendid as ever.
I stopped because I could swear I heard something calling me. Or a noise. Or just – something, and I need to go down this hall.
I've been griping the entire way, start to finish, and I have great respect for Hunter for not once telling me to shut up.
The others are still moving, but there's something important down this hall that I need to see. "Hey, wait up!" I yell, voice echoing down the halls, my hand gripping my knife like it might actually save me from something.
They pause, looking back.
"There is nothing down that way," Tech objects, preparing to take off again.
I scowl. "It's important."
Everyone is staring at me now.
"Don't you hear that?" I ask, frustrated, "It's – something." They fall quiet, and I can hear it a little more distinctly. It's – something.
"There is nothing to see, Vision," Tech continues insisting. "That is not what we are here for."
"What is it?" Hunter asks, taking a few steps towards me.
I'm not really watching – just staring at the open doorway and edge forwards. It's something I feel more than hear, and I can't explain it. "I – it's important," I insist.
"Is it dangerous?" Echo asks.
"I dunno. Don't think so." It's something, and I can't just walk away from it. I turn, walking down the hall, shining my flashlight around to see. It's close.
Part of the wall looks... shiny. Too flat and just wrong. It's too dark, too. That's not rock, whatever it is. I think someone's calling me to wait, but I run over to it, looking closer.
It feels like I'm looking at a mirror, but my reflection is murky, hazed over.
I flick off the flashlight, staring.
It's still there, though faint, and the light from my brothers is enough for me to see.
I reach out, gently brushing the wall with my left hand.
I see something on the other side, and it looks almost like a... it's not a portal, though it almost looks like some sort of doorway. There's someone there, on the other side, and I jerk back when I see it.
She's – she looks –
She's taller than me, decently so. She's dressed in blue, and her sleeves are down to her elbows, and she's wearing a glove on her right hand. A red cloth is tied over her left wrist, and she's holding...
Wait.
Is that a lightsaber?
She's probably a year older than me, and her face is familiar, and her eyes look the same. They have the same fire and fierceness, the same passion that I have. She has the same headband thingy that I do, and it dawns on me for the first time exactly how much it does make her look like Hunter. I was so not trying to copy him, but anyway.
Her curls are longer, falling freely down her back a good foot or so, much longer than my own.
Her expression is twisted into a snarl, and she looks furious. The blade in her hand is a bright red, throwing off an eerily wrong glow of something – something Dark. It's Cold. Icy. Wrong. She's holding the hilt backwards; the same way Hunter holds his knife and the way he always tells me not to hold mine until I know what I'm doing.
The wrongness crawls under my skin, sending a shiver snaking down my spine. It started as an image, but she turns when she sees me.
I shriek, scrambling backwards and crashing onto the floor, still gripping my knife, but the image flickers out.
"Vision!" Hunter yells, and I think he's panicking.
My heart is hammering loud enough that he could probably hear it – literally. He can do that.
"She's okay," Omega assures, because she always knows those things.
"Yeah," I supply, panting, "I'm fine. I'm fine." Yes, I'm trying to convince myself of that, because the – it was creepy.
"What was that?" Hunter asks, crouching beside me and squeezing my shoulder. I lean into his hand. Omega is beside me, on my other side, and I reach out to grab her hand.
"I dunno. I just saw something creepy. Let's get out of here."
I can already see Tech's I-told-you-so expression.
He is so annoying.
**w**
"We deserve a raise for that," I gripe, crossing my arms and leaning on Cid's desk. "That was creepy."
"Well, well, what's snippy's deal today? I thought you liked action."
I glare harder. "I like action. I don't like seeing creepy things." I can't even explain why that was so terrifying, but she had a red lightsaber, and Echo said only Sith have those, and apparently, Sith are Bad.
"So, what'd you see?"
"There was this thing, and I touched it – it looked like a mirror, and there was something in it that looked kinda like me, and – stop laughing at me!"
"You're not trapped in a live version of Mirror Prison if that's what you're worried about," she promises.
I cross my arms, glaring. "I don't know what that means."
"What, you haven't seen it before?"
"I don't even know what you're talking about!"
"Kid, do you not know what a holofilm is?"
"A what?" I turn back helplessly, looking at my brothers, who look as clueless as the rest of us. Okay, Echo doesn't, but the others do.
"Do you not know anything?" Cid asks, and she's definitely getting a kick out of this. I want to throw my knife at her. Just... not stab her. But still. That is mean. "I'll fix that right now."
And that was how we got introduced to holofilms.
**w**
I don't see the point of holofims in the least, but they're still fun. Wrecker gets us the traditional carton of Mantell Mix, and we sit around the holoscreen to watch this... horror thing. I still think the main character who's-name-I-can't-even-remember was an idiot for touching the mirror he got stuck in in the first place.
Makes me feel a little called out, though.
Hunter is literally sleeping on Echo's shoulder in the back – I didn't know he was that tired, and I definitely have no idea how he manages to sleep in such an uncomfortable position with all the yowling in the background.
Tech is whining about every single thing. Literally. And insisting that this is not scientifically possible, and Wrecker and I have to keep shushing him, so he doesn't ruin the mood.
Echo keeps making snarky comments, and I think he's just trying to compete with me.
Omega is almost literally hiding behind Wrecker – I think she's overreacting – and I – well, it's cool. I need to show this insanity to Crosshair the moment I have a chance, because this was fun. We've never gotten to do things like this on Kamino. We never got to just be, to do things we like.
I've never really had time to figure out what that even means. I got some time as... me when I was with our brothers on Kamino, but that was without Omega, and it wasn't in a different life. Here, we're free. I've always wanted to fight, but I guess I don't have to do that in the Clone Wars. We can still have different purposes. We can be... something else, too.
Wrecker and I, I think, are the only people paying attention, and actually appreciating it.
If Crosshair were here, he'd probably be even snippier about it than Echo is – though I think Echo finds the entire thing comical and is a little too polite to say so.
"We should do this more often," I announce, when the horror – literally – is finally over. "It's amazing."
Omega shudders.
Uh. Okay. Maybe not.
"Or we can tone down a bit and pick something a little less spooky." That sounds like a nice idea.
"Yeah," Omega agrees, shivering again.
"Was it that creepy?" I whine, "I loved it!"
This is probably another one of the first things in the universe we're gonna hafta disagree on. I don't like how things are changing, how it feels like we're changing, but it's happening. And I hate it, but at least we still have each other.
Better than what Crosshair has, y'know?
**w**
I'm tired of dreaming, of Seeing. I don't want to see Kamino burning anymore. I just want to cry, actually. And sleep, please. I don't want to see Hunter falling again. I've only seen it a couple times, and it's never as urgent, but still.
I climb over Omega, who's bundled up under our blanket, arms wrapped around Lula. My droid head clangs when I bump into it, and I freeze, but she doesn't wake. I just want to – to something. I want this to stop.
I haven't seen Crosshair again, though the fleeting sensations I catch from my nightmares are always the same – that we're all there, together. And everything is burning. Why would we ever go back to Kamino? I never want to see it again. It has too many memories. Some good, some bad, but I want to leave and go – go home. Whatever that means.
"Can't sleep?" Hunter asks when he sees me climbing down the ladder. Wrecker is sleeping in the rack beside us as he always does – he's abnormally clingy, but considering Crosshair, that's not surprising.
"I want to stop dreaming," I supply bluntly, walking up to him.
"But that's what you do," he replies, mildly surprised. "That's what your ability is."
"Yeah, but I don't want to keep seeing some sort of galactic apocalypse every time I sleep."
Hunter reaches out for me, and I step up to him, resting my head in his lap. He strokes my hair, lightly, hesitantly, but he must've seen 'mega do the same to me, so he knows what to do.
"I'm just tired of seeing them. That," I mumble, pressing my hand to the cool metal of his armor.
"Is there anything you can do to stop it?" Hunter queries, "Have you tried?"
"I don't know! I can't control it. I've tried. I can See when I want to, but I can't stop it if I don't." And right now, I don't want to See anything. Not unless it's positive, please. I can't do this anymore.
"I... struggled with my own abilities when I was younger," Hunter admits, and I jerk my head up to stare at him. He looks... uncomfortable, and the blueish lighting of the computer screen throws a mildly creepy shadow across his face, and I've sorta forgotten how creepy he can look. Pretty sure me staring at him is making him uncomfortable, though, so I drop my head back down.
"You?" I ask, disbelievingly. "How could you struggle with anything? I mean, I know you're human, too, but – but that's still weird."
"I was the only one who ever had these abilities," he continues, "Same for all our brothers. We were all unique, and we... we went through it together. We helped each other, and I guess that's what we'll do for you."
"Thanks," I mutter, nodding. "I just don't wanna keep Seeing it all the time."
"What are you seeing?" Hunter asks.
"Kamino. Fire. I keep..." I feel sick even thinking about trying to explain what I saw. No time is less horrifying than the last. That's where we grew up, and even if we never go there again, I want it to stay there. "I don't want our home to be destroyed."
"There may not be much we can do to stop it," Hunter points out, squeezing my shoulder. "We're not there anymore."
"Kinda think... we will be." I thought I was getting better, but it feels like I'm just getting worse now. I can't control them. Hunter tried to help, but he can't fix everything, even if he tries. The point, I guess, is that he tries.
"Do you know why?"
I shake my head, pushing myself up. "Dunno. I just hope I didn't wake Omega up." We pause, looking up at her mostly out-of-sight form on the gunner's mount. She's still unmoving, breathing evenly. To be fair, Wrecker half-snoring pretty much drowns that out.
"She's fine," he assures me.
"'mega's amazing," I say, swinging myself across Hunter's lap. "I mean, we know that, but sometimes, I just wonder why she even... deals with me. Why any of you do."
His hand is warm on my shoulder, and I tilt my head back, looking up at him. "You are our sister," Hunter points out.
"Maybe. But still." Dad, my mind whispers. "I'd do anything for her," I admit, "Because I know it's what you'd want."
"I wouldn't ask you to endanger yourself for her."
"But I'd do it anyway," I point out, "You'd want me to, even if you'd never ask me to. She's more important than I am. Always has been."
"Not to us," Hunter insists, shaking his head. "Vision, you might have been trained as a soldier, but you're still as special as she is. You're not the same, but I wouldn't want you to be. I don't want you to be anything other than who you are."
I nod, only half understanding, but still, somehow believing. "And me, you," I promise, squeezing his hand, "You do so much for all of us."
"That is what I was made for," he reminds.
I guess we're both in the same place, really. I was made to bring our family back together, and he was made to protect us. I don't know of any of the rest of us who were made for something so... specific. It's hard sometimes, and I feel lost, but Hunter's always there, and he'll always be there so I can find my way back to where I belong.
He runs his hand through my hair, and for a moment, I feel choaked with emotion. Just frozen. I have a crystal-clear memory of Crosshair touching me like that. It was momentary, fleeting, not like Hunter's, but still there. I miss him so badly it's gutting. "You okay?" Hunter asks, snapping me back to present, worry in his voice.
Omega said we'll get him back. It's fine.
"Yeah," I tell him, and myself. "I'm okay."
"I miss him, too," Hunter confesses quietly, "I wish we could have chosen differently, but we had to go back for you. It's the right thing to do, and I – I know he would have wanted us to."
I remember a million images of Crosshair facing us down, and my gut flips a little. "Would he?"
"He would do anything for you," he says, part wistful, part... something else. "We all would."
Maybe I am a little more than what just my visions, than... my abilities. I am something, to them, to Hunter, and (I wish I knew I could be to Crosshair, but that's a point for another time) I don't want more than that.
I can't help thinking that maybe we'll be okay, after all. Maybe Omega's right that we'll find a way to get Crosshair back, and we'll...
We'll be fine.
At the very least, we're surviving, and considering everything we've been through together, I think that counts.
**w**
Daro is a forest planet, and the trees are towering. It's beautiful, really, even if I still have reservations about coming here. There are mountains here, and I know what that can mean. And Tech's right that we need the credits of this mission, just as every other. I have to reluctantly agree that we should try to help this random reg if we can, just because it was Rex who asked, but I'm still not comfortable.
Definitely not comfortable with the fierce way Hunter said "Coming here was up to debate – this isn't" when Omega and I tried arguing that he shouldn't go alone.
We do need to stay with the ship, though. Just in case.
I want to help in any way I can, and I'm not overly keen on trying to sneak into a massive facility like that. I could've argued that it was too dangerous, that Hunter going would guarantee my vision from happening, but that would mean arguing with Omega, and I – I don't want to do that. If I'm flying, maybe I can help. I just don't want it to be my fault it happened, though.
Wrecker, Omega, and I are just trying to distract ourselves.
And me? I'm just brooding. I saw Hunter fall, and I want to protect him. I don't want that to happen, and I don't really get why I'm the only one worried.
They just snuck inside an Imperial base, and I have a very, very bad feeling. It's some kind of top-secret place, which makes it even worse.
"Y'know," I say finally, leaning up against the wall, "I just think sometimes... Hunter does so much for us, and it just feels like we don't really do anything for him."
"Uh," says Wrecker a little awkwardly, "Don't we?"
"I don't know," I mutter, sighing, "I think we try, but I... I know something's gonna happen to him." I want to cry just thinking about it. We can't lose him. I can't even think about that – he's too important to me. We can't lose him.
Omega looks at me, biting her lip. "I know."
I wish I could've argued it, but Omega was insistent, and Echo was glaring Hunter into submission, and I find that almost ridiculously unfair. Echo joined us later, and he's been through a lot, and we'd do anything to make him comfortable here. We changed ourselves so he could fit in, have a place here, and he knows it. He knows we'd do something that we weren't comfortable with just because he asked, because we don't want him to be disappointed or to leave. To see him using that on us, to have us do something that could get us all hurt or – it makes me sick and angry and hurt at once.
We didn't know what we were getting into, but now that we're here, I think we need to just leave. I didn't think it was anything... bad at first, either. I didn't know. I should've.
Gonky honks next to us, watching, though I don't exactly understand.
"I know he's older than me, and..." He's three years older. That's not very long, but it's still half my life, and three years is forever. It makes a huge difference. "But still. Nine's not that old." I remember when 'mega was that age, and it's supposed to be different with her, but it still seems the same. I don't even know how to say what I'm trying to, but these are Wrecker and Omega, and they usually understand what I'm getting at. "He needs us," I continue finally, "He makes the choices for us, and they're not always... easy."
I want to see Hunter as something unbreakable, but the truth is more than that, and I won't delude myself to believing anything else. He needs us, too. I just don't get why it feels like I'm the only one willing to say so.
"I don't know what to do," Omega says, pacing the length of the ship, clutching Lula. "What if something happens? How can you be so relaxed?"
She's the one who saw Hunter get shot, even if I'm the one who got the honors of seeing the wound up close. "We're used to it," I point out, leaning against the wall, patting Gonky when he comes over to me. "But something's gonna go wrong."
"Oh, I'm preparing. I'm chargin' up before I charge in," Wrecker offers.
"What if it already has?" Omega queries anxiously. "What if your dream's already happened?"
"It hasn't," I promise in a heartbeat. "We were there."
"I'm sure they got everything under control," Wrecker supplies unconvincingly.
"Does snuggling with Lula help?" I ask, pushing myself forwards. Omega won't stop pacing, and I can't shake an overwhelming level of unnerving energy, but we need to save it. I know things are about to get far worse, and we need to be ready.
"I don't know," Omega says, still holding her tightly. "Maybe."
I wrap an arm around her, pressing my face to one of Lula's ear-thingies. The fabric is a little coarse, but it's still soft. Crosshair still made her for us, and I like to think we still have a bit of him, just because we have her. It's not the same, but it's something.
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