Chapter LXXXXVII

Trial and Error

Naruto suppressed the despair and pain in his heart. He felt like he had a ball on his stomach. This same lump was also in his burning windpipe. Due to the agonizing pain in his throat, he could not make it vibrate to produce sounds, unless he wanted to worsen the condition of his injuries there. His memories were hazy, but Naruto was not a fool either. He had guessed what had happened. He could no longer get the recent events out of his head; he kept replaying them in his mind like an incurable obsession.

The moment the human's hand rested on his head, Naruto entered a strange trance. He was aware at the same time as not being so; it was like a lucid dream paired with a waking nightmare. This human was raping his mind and thoughts like he was an open book. He did not tolerate this violation of his privacy that only Kakashi had the right to know about.

Naruto was fighting against this paralysis, which bound him with invisible shackles. He was ordering this hateful human out of his head. Alas, this human violated his memories, his thoughts and his love for his precious Kakashi. Helplessly, he begged for Kakashi to help him … but Naruto no longer felt Kakashi's presence … nor that of other humans for that matter. It was as if he was locked in a sealed box. Panic was taking hold of him. He was at the mercy of these terrifying powers; he could do nothing. He found himself in an imaginary cage again. Desperate, he called on this darkness to give him the strength to free himself. However, he abandoned himself body and soul to it.

When his Pandora's box, in which the extent of evil was locked, was about to be opened, his consciousness faded. The weakened padlock was on the verge of giving way, and he was determined to keep it sealed until the end of time. Hand in hand, Naruto and this darkness finally break free from this grip. A black rage prevented him from thinking. All these humans were a threat to his survival and that of his precious human. Instinctively, his duty to protect Kakashi took over. He had sworn to himself never again to let anyone touch him, reach him and mar his beauty…

In the end, he was the one who hurt and tarnished Kakashi's beauty.

Naruto regained consciousness when the scent of blood overwhelmed his nostrils. He immediately recognized this unique smell that no other had. The feral boy sank into despair. Kakashi's heart was about to give out; Kakashi's body was about to break in two; Kakashi's spirit was about to disappear… While covering him to prevent the violent winds from extinguishing this flame synonymous of Kakashi's life, he covered Kakashi so tightly that the flame faded from lack of oxygen.

Naruto was to blame for the cruelty inflicted on Kakashi, who had no choice but to hurt himself to make him come to his senses. He saw himself plunging back into hell; he was tearing his hair out. Even if Kakashi told him that Kakashi didn't blame him and that it was not his fault… The blond didn't know if he could ever forgive himself. Naruto came to hate himself, to hate this darkness lurking within him; this hatred towards himself pushed him to claw himself to bleed and purify his crimes.

Sure, Kakashi was much tougher than before, but Kakashi was still fragile. In his grief as great as the bodies of water lost on the horizon, Naruto realized that Kakashi would not have survived if Naruto had not bitten Kakashi in the neck, gifting him with the mark that Kakashi was the only one to deserve in the world. Without the gift of the mark, Kakashi's small body would have been crushed and broken in two, Kakashi's organs would have burst into bloody mush, Kakashi's bones would have been reduced to dust… Of course, the deadly lightning would have torn Kakashi's precious life long before, forcing his heart to incurably stop.

Naruto held back tears. For Kakashi who depended on him now, he had to stay strong. In a hope to atone for the extent of his unforgivable mistake, he would care for Kakashi like no other before him. Going back was impossible; he could only move forward. He wanted to see the smile behind the frustrating mask, and for the pain to leave Kakashi for good.

Not letting fear get to him, Naruto braved the stifling corridors while remaining upright. Naruto helped Kakashi walk. Despite the dazzling star that blinded him, he helped Kakashi return to the den. Each of their steps was slow as Kakashi limped and panted. Naruto held his head high as he faced the streets polluted with humans. Kakashi let him guide him. Despite the regrets, he was proud that Kakashi trusted him.

After an eternity, Naruto and Kakashi arrived at their destination.

At the den, the teenager took off his sandals and waited for Kakashi to do the same, while offering him the essential support for Kakashi to stand up. Kakashi's gaze focused on the nest. Naruto guessed that Kakashi wanted to lie down. After all, Kakashi was exhausted and needed to rest; Kakashi's body had already begun the healing process and was drawing on its chakra reserves to speed up the regeneration of its damaged cells. Naruto would have to fast, but he accepted it. Hunger was a reasonable punishment for hurting Kakashi. Although it was unintentional, guilt was a destructive poison; this unbearable feeling refused to leave him.

The blond helped Kakashi to the foot of the nest, where he helped him sit down. Kakashi's body was on fire. Kakashi was at the end of his strength; all his limbs were trembling and threatened to give out at any moment. He removed his bulky accessories and clothes, which he put on the floor, next to the mattress. His accomplished ninja jacket, his weapons, his forehead protector, the white bandages and his gloves were removed. From then on, he felt much lighter and more comfortable. "Thank you," he said, lying on his back and covering himself with the blanket. "I can't sleep, but I'll close my eye for an hour or two."

His stomach gurgled incessantly like an infernal orchestra, but the ailing shinobi turned a deaf ear. His eyelids were heavy, terribly heavy. He was fully aware that he could not sleep without the venom of his student. So, he chose to rest before taking care of his hunger that was tormenting him. He didn't have the energy to cook anything anyway. "Don't poison me, Naruto. I will sleep after eating. I need to relax for the moment," he said with a yawn.

Kakashi groaned, expressing his annoyance at his invading hunger; at that, he rubbed his jaw and mouth, frowning. He couldn't explain it in words, but those fangs in his mouth were uncomfortable and tickled. He wanted to bite… He needed to bite… He shrugged and curled up in the blankets. His whole body throbbed and made him groan in pain when he moved a little too suddenly. "Don't make too much noise, please. I need calm."

Sitting cross-legged in front of the soft surface, Naruto observed his precious Kakashi. He listened to his soothing breathing like a pleasant lullaby. With tenderness, he stroked the silver hair. Kakashi did not need to express himself in words to make him understand that Kakashi appreciated his thoughtful gesture. It was subtle, but Kakashi gave little nods in response. Of course, this serenity was fleeting.

The sapphire-eyed boy felt the hunger that overwhelmed his precious Kakashi. To recover better, Kakashi's body needed nutrients, lots of nutrients. When he saw Kakashi touch the lower part of his face, more precisely his upper teeth, he realized that Kakashi's body had finally finished adapting. Naruto looked at his wrist. He was hesitant to give it to him … but he was afraid that Kakashi would not be ready. Kakashi could recover faster. However, he did not want to rush Kakashi, who was having trouble accepting the changes in his body. The blond had understood that well.

While Kakashi was resting, his priority was to feed Kakashi food meant for humans.

Since Kakashi asked for calm, Naruto slipped away from the nest quietly. He was also exhausted; he yawned a little too often. He shook his head to chase away the fatigue. To stretch himself, he ran the water to splash his face. The biting cold on his skin woke him like a slap. Then he swallowed many gulps of water to ease the irritation in his burning and aching throat. The excruciating pain in his tattered windpipe made it impossible for him to produce any sound. He had to wait until the terrible repercussions of his cry faded and the wounds healed.

Naruto began to think. What could he possibly do? Cooking had never crossed his mind. His food was in the chakra veins; all he had to do was sink his fangs into it to suck it in and devour it. He didn't need to cook the chakra already ready to serve.

First of all, he remembered that Kakashi always put on a specific piece of clothing when he cooked. If Naruto wanted to cook like Kakashi, he had to wear it too. He reached into the bottom drawer, from which he extracted the fabric. He unfolded it and pouted. Kakashi was taller than him and therefore, this fabric was not his size… And he didn't really like the colour; this pastel pink didn't suit Kakashi at all. Kakashi dressed in dark colours that blended perfectly with the whiteness of his hair and his wintry skin. He didn't show it, but he stared at Kakashi every time Kakashi wore it. He would eventually find another one of an acceptable colour.

When he finished struggling with this thing that fell to his knees, he inspected the cold cabinet. Inside he found many plants, including almost black violets. These vegetables were eggplants. Kakashi cooked them often; it was one of his favourite foods. However, watching Kakashi prepare them multiple times, it seemed quite complicated. He remembered that Kakashi always added rice to his meals… That seemed complicated too. Anyway, he couldn't find the rice. He came across a small cardboard box. When he opened it, he saw eggs. That too, Kakashi often cooked it … and mixed it with rice… This was not always the case. Kakashi frequently cooked them on a heated metal plate.

Naruto grabbed an egg to examine it more closely… However, as he grabbed it, the fragile shell burst between his fingers. A weird, transparent texture stuck to his fingers. Curious, he tasted it. He immediately grimaced in disgust. Seeing the same substance mixed with yolk dripping into the cardboard container, he panicked. He closed it and put it back in its place, placing the soiled side against the wall. Too fragile. His hands were trembling; Naruto didn't have the patience to control his strength. Kakashi didn't eat eggs every night, so it wasn't essential.

The blond saw marine species wrapped in a transparent sheet. Cooking meat was within his reach; it was pretty simple. Lay the flesh on a hot plate and wait until it is ready… After all, during that night with Shikamaru, Sakura and all these humans, everyone was capable of it. Bored to death, Naruto had plenty of time to know the appearance of cooked meat and the ideal temperature to brown it. However, there was a catch. It was terrestrial and not aquatic species that they cooked…

Naruto sniffed the fish. Its flesh wasn't fresh … well, not to his wary eyes. He could always go hunting and find fresh meat. There were many small animals roaming the land. He wondered why there were so many of them given the catastrophic number of humans plaguing the land… However, the beasts did not stink of disease, and their flesh was healthy. Unless a beast was nearby, Naruto couldn't leave the den, even for a minute. Kakashi was weak and needed him; Kakashi was not able to defend himself if Kakashi was attacked. Kakashi needed to rest and avoid stress.

Since Kakashi was neat and careful with his food, to the point of inspecting it from every angle for an eternity, the blond assumed that this meat from the water must be edible and meet Kakashi's requirements. He took the fish out of the cold cabinet and freed it from its strange packaging. Naruto thought again. What was Kakashi doing with this meat again? A light came on in his head after a few blinks.

With his claw, he ripped open the beast's belly, from head to tail. He emptied the body of its contents unfit for consumption. He disposed of the entrails into the waste container and cleaned the carcass under a jet of lukewarm water. He purified the little body whose life had been taken from it too soon.

He placed the fish on the counter before tackling the next task. He had to brown the raw meat. He focused his attention on this large metal plate with two strange circles. Cautiously, he brought his hand closer to one of the circles, expecting to feel the heat emanating from it. However, the metal was cold. Confused, he looked at them with a bad eye; these rounds were cold and did not stink of toxic gas. Yet, Kakashi used it to cook food. Why weren't they hot? He began to think again. He thought about those moments when he watched Kakashi cook.

Another light illuminated in his head.

His eyes focused on these circles stuck to the wall. He turned one of them all the way. A blue flame fuelled by gas illuminated the circle in front of him—something that startled him, so much so that he jumped back like a cat facing a toaster. Immediately, Naruto turned it back in the other direction. The fire of an unnatural colour went out. A hand on his heart, the blond took a deep breath to calm himself. Being surprised in this way always awakened this darkness in him.

Once relaxed, Naruto carefully turned the circle again. Slowly, the blue fire reappeared. The more he turned it, the more the flames increased in intensity. As he approached his hand, he felt the heat; his sensitive nostrils perceived the toxic scent. He finally understood how it worked. This was how Kakashi cooked his food.

The blond took the fish and brought it close to the flames… He stopped before the fire could lick the flesh. No. Kakashi never put his food directly into the flames. Kakashi always put his food in dark containers with handles. He put the beast down and closed the ring. Where did Kakashi keep these things? Anxious, Naruto began to rummage through the cabinets, looking for these containers. He couldn't remember where they were, although he watched Kakashi cook every time.

The feral boy was in his world; it was such that he had not noticed the presence of Kakashi, who was looking at him in the threshold of the bedroom door. He was leaning comfortably against the wall, arms crossed. The Copy Ninja had been watching him with amusement for a while now. When Naruto started making some noise, Kakashi got up to take a look. He was surprised to see his student fend for himself. Naruto was cooking something for him and even had his apron on. His legs were wobbly, he was in pain, but he remained standing to see what happened next. He was happy. Naruto could be independent and learn without his help. That said, he was mainly afraid that the blond would trash his kitchen or set it on fire.

Naruto opened one of the bottom drawers and found the object of his desire. He grabbed the first one he saw to put the fish in it… However, the one he had taken was too small to accommodate the animal. Pouting, he put the thing back in its place and took the next one… Again, the second one was too small. Annoyed, Naruto repeated the operation, hissing, until he got his hand on the right-sized one.

Faced with this absurd scene, Kakashi let out a laugh, a smile on his lips. Naruto didn't even hear the amused laughter of the Copy Ninja. "Not easy," Kakashi said to himself.

The moment Naruto put the fish in that metal thing, he lit the fire again. About to place it on the fire, he stopped. No. He forgot something. He had skipped a step. Raising a hand to his chin, he thought. He opened his eyes wide. Kakashi always put a transparent, viscous substance in the containers. He closed the fire, removed the animal and rummaged through the cupboards.

Kakashi couldn't help but pinch the bridge of his nose. He held back from bursting out laughing. His smile beneath his mask refused to leave him. He felt bad for laughing at the ordeal of his student who was doing his best. He thought about giving him a hand, but he forbade himself. He wanted to see how this would end.

To Naruto's misfortune, he had never paid attention to the appearance of the object he was looking for. He could only trust his sense of smell to find it; it was a fruity fragrance married with bitterness. One by one, he opened the cans and bottles to sniff them. His tail wagged enthusiastically when he found the substance. He didn't know how much he should add. A little? A lot? Fill the container completely? Just to say he did?

Taking a deep breath, he trusted his intuition and poured some to cover the surface. He took the fish to put it inside… He stopped, again. Neither. He had to warm the liquid before putting anything in it. Kakashi always warmed the substance in the container before filling it with food. He put the fish back on the counter, rekindled the flames and placed the container on the hot ring. A sound of water evaporating crackled, and Naruto panicked.

When was he supposed to put the animal inside?!

When was it too late or too early?!

WHEN WAS IT THE RIGHT TIME?!

Since he couldn't know, the blond decided to put the carcass in after a few seconds, crossing his fingers that he hadn't made a mistake. With anguish, he stared at the browning meat. A cold sweat ran down his temple. He didn't want to disappoint Kakashi. He wanted Kakashi to be proud of him. What if Kakashi didn't like his meal? What if Kakashi refused to eat it? Naruto would be heartbroken…

"If you don't turn it over, one side will be burnt and the other will be undercooked."

Naruto jumped when Kakashi appeared behind him. The Copy Ninja approached until their two bodies brushed against each other. He took the chopsticks with which he cooked. He grabbed the handle of the pan, swirled the fish and deftly flipped it. Both his arms surrounded the teenager, who held his breath as he observed the calculated and precise gestures.

"You put it in a little too early, but it doesn't matter. It will still be good," he explained, seasoning the saury. "For a better taste, you can add salt and spices. I don't know if your sense of taste works with solid foods. That said, a little salt and pepper can't hurt."

Naruto listened carefully to Kakashi's words. He felt guilty because Kakashi had gotten up to give him a hand. He wanted so much to bring him the meal directly into the nest, to see Kakashi's smile under his mask. Kakashi's body was still exhausted and sore. Despite the need to sleep, his body desperately cried out for nutrients to produce the strength needed to heal. The blond heard the screams of Kakashi's stomach and felt the growing and overwhelming need to bite. He hesitated to offer him his wrist in order to silence Kakashi's hunger… He refused, for fear of distressing Kakashi. Kakashi needed to avoid any stress during his recovery.

When the meat was ready, Kakashi took out a plate to put his somewhat sad meal on it. Since his taste buds were completely out of whack and everything tasted like despair, Kakashi didn't care if his meal lacked any side dishes. He didn't have the energy to cook, just enough to save Naruto's dish doomed to disaster. He remembered that there was still some rice stock and a seaweed salad ready to serve. Above all, he wanted to fill his stomach which, for once, was crying out for food without being plagued by an annoying craving.

Humming, Kakashi rummaged through his fridge. As he reached for his carton of eggs, he jumped. His fingers touched a sticky substance. He frowned and took out the package and opened it. One of the eggs was broken and still dripping… He easily understood what had happened, especially looking at a sweaty Naruto, with his hands behind his back and his eyes glued to the ground.

"Hmm… Naruto, if you break something, tell me instead of hiding it."

Silent, Naruto held his breath.

"I am not angry. I don't like discovering unpleasant things and getting my fingers dirty." Kakashi disposed of the broken egg in the trash and cleaned his hands. Then, he ruffled the blond's hair. "Thank you for taking care of me, Naruto."

With a beaming smile, Naruto carefully hugged Kakashi, careful not to hurt him. His smile increased in intensity when Kakashi hugged him back. Not everything had gone as planned, but Naruto was proud of himself.