John awoke in his room. He was lying on top of the covers as if just being placed there. He felt a thousand times better, but he wasn't sure how that was possible. It was dark outside, and he had no idea how long he had been out. He slowly sat up to see that someone was standing in front of his bed. He couldn't see but he knew who it was, Sherlock.

It was silent for a long time. Neither one was sure how to begin the conversation. It wasn't something that they could just jump into. The truth was out, and John was still having trouble processing it all. How could…vampires be real?

"John," Sherlock breathed, "I'm sorry that I kept this from you," He sounded genuine. Took John by surprise, Sherlock Holmes apologizing.

"Well to be fair, I didn't really believe you," John pointed out.

"It's not entirely believable. I should have just shown you," Sherlock sighed. He actually sounded guilty.

"It doesn't matter. I know now and that's what matters, right?" John gave a weak smile. He wasn't angry anymore. He wasn't angry to begin with. The pain from being bitten made him enraged. It was as if he wasn't in control of his emotions. He wanted to stop arguing and be taken to the hospital, but he couldn't stop himself. He never wanted to feel like that again. "So…so you wanted to. I mean you asked to…feed from me."

John felt odd saying it out loud. Sherlock being a vampire was so new saying such a sentence felt childish. Regardless, he needed to ask. Needed to know why Sherlock would ask him to do something like that. The amount of pain it caused, it was surprising Sherlock would willingly do something like that to John. Then again, maybe he didn't know.

Sherlock went stiff, he didn't think John would want to talk about this now. Maybe in a day or two but not right after the events that only occurred a few hours ago. Was John going to leave? Knowing now that he was the same as Victor and may hurt him. Thinking he would cause him the same pain?

He wasn't sure what to say to John. It was true he did ask to feed from him, but he asked. Victor took. Mycroft said without permission it would be painful to the human. That means that when consent is given there shouldn't be any pain, right? He wasn't sure, his brother never mentioned what happens when there's consent.

"Yes." Sherlock said simply. He didn't know what John wanted to know. Of course, he had an idea, but this was a sensitive matter. John could leave if he isn't careful. He didn't want to say anything that would make John feel unsafe. John's blood was gasping now. He was feeling nervous. Sherlock was too if he was being honest.

"I don't…" John sighed. How was he supposed to say this? He was thankful for it being dark in the room so he wouldn't see Sherlock when he did this. He cleared his throat, "I don't want to do that ever again." He finally said. His heart was pounding. He felt scared and guilty for some reason. Why would he be feeling guilty?

Sherlock shifted in his spot. John's blood was making a combination of sounds that he couldn't place their meaning. He just knew that this was difficult for John to say. He couldn't blame the doctor for his request, but it didn't make him feel any less disappointed. From the moment he came back to John and heard his singing blood. All he wanted to do was taste him.

The fact that Victor tasted John infuriated him. That monster should never have been able to taste his John. And because of him, Sherlock never would. He did get a small taste, but that didn't really count. That was an accident. That wasn't enough.

"I…of course." Sherlock said tightly. His voice was strained. As if it was painful for him to even agree to John's request.

"Just…like that?"

"Yes,"

"But you want to." John stated in a matter-of-fact tone. His blood was back to singing so Sherlock wasn't sure what he was feeling.

"Obviously, I'm a vampire John."

"Right, but…" John trailed off and looked down at his hands. His blood started to gasp again. Why was he nervous? Sherlock agreed to his terms. What is it now? John stayed silent for a while, not finishing his thought.

Unable to wait any longer Sherlock probed, "But?"

"It's not just that. There's more and you aren't telling me something." He finally said after a few minutes of him staring at his hands. He looked up at Sherlock. Though he couldn't see the man he could tell his comment got to him. He could feel the tension in the air now.

Sherlock sighed, moving to John's bedside table and turning on the light. He closed his eyes for a moment to adjust to the brightness and took a seat at the foot of the bed. With Sherlock being closer John's blood started to gasp louder. Was he uncomfortable? Was this a bit not good? No, if it was John would tell him. He was sure he would.

John made a small grunting noise when the light turned on. He rubbed his eyes and watched as Sherlock adjusted himself to face John. Sherlock had changed his clothes, wearing his purple button up now. One of John's favorite shirts on Sherlock, although John was sure Sherlock didn't know that. Scanning the genius further he found Sherlock's head wound was gone, as if it never happened. Incredible. He had to remember to ask about vampire's healing rate.

Ignoring the obvious changes with Sherlock, John took in his expression. Sherlock looked uncertain. John wasn't sure if it was because of the current topic or Sherlock being so close to John. Despite that, Sherlock wanted John to see his face for this conversation. John was pleasantly surprised by this. Sherlock was taking this seriously, good.

"I will admit that I am…disappointed by your request." Sherlock started, changing his expression to something more neutral so John wouldn't be able to see how truly disappointed he was. He couldn't lose John. "However, I can manage without." He lied.

Regardless of Sherlock's effort to hide his emotions John could see the sadness, anger and defeat he felt about this. The man was still hiding something from him. The doctor didn't want to be fed on but there was a part of him that wanted Sherlock to fight him on this. For Sherlock to ask John to feed from him meant he knew John wouldn't get hurt. He wouldn't have asked if he didn't know the outcome. So why wasn't Sherlock explaining himself?

Victor called John Sherlock's mate. Did that mean something or was he just teasing Sherlock? Like how everyone commented that they were a couple, but the word mate. That's more…primal. More intimate. Thinking about it now John has noticed that Sherlock's been acting strange around him since he turned. He seemed to be on edge around John but was fine around everyone else. Was that because of this mate thing? Only one way to find out.

"Does this have anything to do with what Victor said? About me being your…mate?"

Sherlock's nose crinkled, "I would hardly take anything Victor said into account."

"Well, it's the only thing that explains your behavior."

"My behavior?" Sherlock said slowly. John knew. Of course, he knew he was better at reading emotions than Sherlock. He was hoping by dismissing Victor's comment it would make John drop this.

"You haven't been yourself since you were turned. Not really. You seem fine around everyone else but me. With me you seem unsettled. Then you ignored me, that's normal but it felt different this time around. It felt like you needed to be away from me. Based on how it sounds, mate means something more. Otherwise, Victor would have said boyfriend or something like that."

Sherlock was pleasantly surprised at how close John was to the truth. This wasn't going the way he wanted at all. What was he supposed to say? The truth? Would John be okay with it? Would he reciprocate?

John's blood was still gasping. Knowing that wasn't revealing anything new in this situation. That could mean anything. This singing blood was becoming less and less helpful. He studied John, hoping he could see what he was thinking. John had an open expression. He was staring directly at Sherlock without wavering. He wanted Sherlock to deduce him. Wanted him to know that if Sherlock was honest, he would be honest.

"Before I explain myself. Could you promise me something?" Sherlock was not going to risk relieving everything without taking a precaution.

"A promise, that's an unusual request from you." John couldn't recall another time he asked John to promise him something.

"Which should tell you that it's important." Sherlock countered. John took a moment to think about it before nodding at Sherlock to continue. Sighing deeply Sherlock spoke, "Promise me that when I tell you everything. You won't leave." He felt so stupid saying it, but he needed to know John would stay here. Otherwise, this wasn't going to be worth it.

Taken aback John slowly nodded. "I…I promise Sherlock."

"Thank you," Sherlock whispered sighing again in relief. "When I was turned Mycroft 'trained' me for lack of a better word. Lestrade was there as well so I could get used to being around a human. It wasn't too difficult for me to adjust and control myself around him and other people. Coming back home there was an immediate difference being around you." Sherlock started. Might as well get this part over with first.

"Different, in a bad way?"

"No, but also yes. Your blood sings."

"Sings?" John raised an eyebrow, what did that mean?

"Yes, depending on your mood it makes different sounds. According to Mycroft and Lestrade this is a trait vampires acquire with their mates. As we are close, I never really thought of you in that sort of way. Romantically, as the term mate implies. I know that you don't, so I tried to ignore it. However, your blood made me crave more. More blood than I needed when I first turned. The sound was intoxicating and when I was out of my supply because of Victor and a canceled resupply, I broke. I asked you for blood. I was aware that it could be painful, but not if consent was given. I would never put you through something like that if it would cause you such pain. I believe with permission it wouldn't hurt at all."

John sat there for a moment taking in Sherlock's words. So, Victor's comment about John being Sherlock's mate was somewhat true. It was disappointing to hear that the genius didn't have romantic feelings for the doctor. John did protest often that he was "not gay" but that was really for Sherlock's benefit. He was already a target for people to ridicule. Adding that he was in a relationship with his flatmate when he wasn't was a bit much.

John knew that relationships weren't his "area" and discussing them made him uncomfortable. It seemed easier to deny that John was even interested in being with Sherlock in that way than to say nothing and have Sherlock feel bad for them not being together. If John was the one denying the reasoning it took pressure off Sherlock. He didn't realize it would come back and bite him. (no pun intended).

He always thought that Sherlock would never be interested in a romantic relationship. It was still surprising that he was friends with John. With all that, why would this information make John want to leave? Nothing the consulting detective said would make him want to move out. Sherlock being a vampire should motivate him more than this.

"I don't understand." John said finally after taking a long time (in Sherlock's opinion) to think. "What would make me want to move out? Leave, as you put it."

Sherlock adjusted himself on the bed feeling uncomfortable yet again. He was no good at this sort of thing, but he already committed to telling John. "Right, I…" Sherlock's mouth felt dry, if he had a heart beat it would be pounding. He was so nervous.

John could sense Sherlock's nervous energy and without thinking placed his hand on top of Sherlock's. "It's okay Sherlock. Take your time." He whispered.

Sherlock looked at their joined hands and shuttered. John's blood was gasping and humming at the same time. His heart beat up a fraction after touching Sherlock. Looking at John he could see that he was unsure of his actions. He just didn't care. John wanted Sherlock to feel safe. Feel that he could tell John anything.

He so desperately wanted to believe that. He convinced himself that he did.

"I love you."