« "If fighting is sure to result in bringing the glory of the Communist Manifesto, then you must fight!" » Blitzo declared to a group of Millelith soldiers, before poking one of them. « Chairman Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more about fighting than you do, comrade, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no filthy capitalist pig could best him in the ring of honour! »
The soldiers looked at the Imp with a deadpan expression on their faces. « Now, I know what ye're all thinking. » Blitzo continued. « "Big dicked Blitzo! Why on God green earth would I bother fighting against a god when it should be our god duty to fight it?" »
« Because it means that we can prove that we can rule ourselves and show our worth in the eyes of Rex Lapis? » on of the soldiers replied.
« …I was honestly gonna say "Money," but that is good too. » Blitzo replied.
« Can we go now? » the soldiers asked annoyed in unison.
« Fuck you! I was just trying to give you fucks an inspirational speech for the coming battle! » Blitzo shot back.
« When is the battle even going to take place? » another soldier asked.
« Good question. I'll make sure I'll ask Earth God later. » Blitzo replied. « All right, whatever, I hope you fucks all drown. »
He walked off, reaching a terrified Moxxie. « What? Never been in boot camp before? I mean I haven't but still… »
As a response, Moxxie merely pointed at the Liyue Guild Building, and sitting at the desk, was none other than…. Katheryne. Now, even Blitzo was a bit unnerved.
« Wait…Katheryne? How did she get in here in less than a day? »
« I don't know, and honestly I'm too scared to ask….. » Moxxie replied.
« All right, stay fucking calm. Don't move a muscle, her vision is based on movement….» Blitzo replied.
The duo remained still, before, eventually, "Katheryne" said to them « Uh…. can I help you? »
« O-oh hi Katheryne! Fancy see you here in the People's Republic of Liyue? » Blitzo asked nervously.
« …Apologies, I do not think I've ever met you. I mean I have heard of you….but have we met before? » "Katheryne" asked.
« I mean, we did have some kickass adventures in Mondstadt…. » Blitzo replied.
« Oh! So you've met Mondstadt Katheryne! I assume you have a letter for me, right? » Katheryne asked.
« Wait, "Mondstadt Katheryne"? The fuck are you about!? » Blitzo asked in full panic, before Katheryne let out several sounds that could be best described as rebooting sounds from a computer.
In response, Moxxie simply threw the letter at her, before he and Blitzo fled at full speed. « THE SIMULATION IS SHATTERING! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! »
Xxxxxxx
Five minutes later.
« Blitzo! Moxxie! Get the fuck down! » Loona exclaimed angrily at the two, who were held up in a giant ass tree in the middle of a forest.
« Honey! I swear! This is no simulation! And even if it was, it's not breaking! » Millie added.
« NO! THE END IS UPON US! WE MUST REPENT AND WE CANNOT BECAUSE WE'RE FUCKING DEMONS AND WE CAN'T REPENT DESPITE WHAT CHARLIE SAYS! » Moxxie shot back.
« AS LONG AS WE STAY ON THE TREE, WE SHALL BE ABLE TO AVOID THE END FOR FIVE MORE PRECIOUS MINUTES! » Blitzo exclaimed as well.
« Look, everything is fine! » Millie replied, before turning to a small child. « Look, just to prove it, I'll just hand this book I've found to this old book to this little girl, she's going to take it, and then- » but as Millie continued, she noticed that the child and the book were both gone.
A short silence followed, the calm before the panic.
« THE SIMULATION IS BREAKING EVEN MORE! » Moxxie shouted.
« OH GOD IT IS! » Millie and Loona exclaimed in a panic as well.
« THE TREE IS NO LONGER SAFE! RUN FOR THE MOUNTAINS! » Blitzo shouted, as the group fled for the mountains.
Xxxxxxx
At Mt. Aocang, the Imps had barricade themselves in a small cave, cannons and various weapons pointed outward to face the collapse of the "simulator."
Annoyed, Paimon offered a Jewelry Soup at a small altar, Cloud Retainer emerging out of nowhere.
« Who would disturb the tranquillity of this adeptus? » she demanded.
« Hello. I'm one of the Imps friends. They are now held up in a cave because they think that "the simulation is breaking." » Paimon replied.
« And these buffoons are supposed to help the humans replace Rex Lapis? » Cloud Retainer replied in a deadpan tone.
« Just help Paimon get them out. It's concerning…»
« Very well, but just because they're of some worth to Rex Lapis. » Cloud Retainer replied, before she shattered the Imps barricade.
Afterward, Paimon laid a large bag of money in the exit, luring the Imps out.
« WHOHO! BAGS OF MONEY! I even forgot why we were so scared in the first place! » Blitzo exclaimed.
« Meh, probably nothing important. » Moxxie shrugged.
« Well, since I have aided you in exiting your cage, I have a small favour to ask. » Cloud Retainer spoke.
« Sure, what's up? » Blitzo asked.
« Once upon a time, when I had made a modest breakthrough in my mechanical studies, I built for myself a Dwelling in the Clouds suspended in the air. » Cloud Retainer explained. « This Dwelling in the Clouds was built principally from plaustrite, supported by a multitude of other ingenious features... In fact, its most marvelous feature of all was, was... Never mind, you would not understand even if I explained it. »
« Try us! » Blitzo shot back.
« For the sake of time, I shall not. What's important is that after construction of the Dwelling in the Clouds was complete, I left the blueprints there. » Cloud Retainer continued. « I also added a seal, thinking that one of true affinity with the blueprints might eventually obtain them. But no — to this day, the seal stands. It now seems a needless bother to me to have the blueprints stored there. Perhaps you can retrieve them from the Dwelling in the Clouds for me. »
« Well apparently you helped us out from…something, so yeah, I guess we could help…» Blitzo replied.
« Then do not delay, deliver them to my abode when you have found them, for that is where I shall be waiting for you. »
« …. What? »
« Just go. »
« Got it! »
Xxxxxxx
Five minutes later…
« We got your shit, Big Bird! » Blitzo exclaimed.
« I see you have obtained the blueprints. Now, hand them to me forthwith! » Cloud Retainer demanded.
« Oh, god, it's worse than the fucking Kraut princess…» Blitzo groaned annoyed.
« Let's just give her the blueprints… » Moxxie replied, before handing over said blueprints to the Adeptus.
« These are indeed the blueprints for my Dwelling in the Clouds. One is most pleased. » Cloud Retainer replied.
« So what are you gonna do with them? » Blitzo asked casually.
« Must you continue to question me? » Cloud Retainer snarled.
« Jeez. And people say I have an attitude…» Blitzo shot back.
« I mean, you do, but even still…. » Moxxie replied.
« Very well, considering you did make an offering... One has also heard that mortals value size above all else, and have on this basis proceeded to declare that said chamber is without parallel in all the world. » she sighed, and begun her explanation. « Hmph! Such are the limits of mortal comprehension, that they fail to fathom the ingenuity of the adepti. Jade Chamber my foot! A glimpse at the most trivial of my mechanical accomplishments would reveal the Jade Chamber to be an utterly tedious and mundane piece of work... »
« Wait, you just wanna prove that you can build better shit than Chairwoman Ningguang? Are you that fucking petty? » Loona raised an eyebrow.
« Nonsense! I am not petty... I merely pity the foolish! These mortals, blind to adepti ingenuity, bedazzled by the crudest of craftsmanship... » Cloud Retainer shot back.
« You're just jealous Ningguang has better shit than you! And yer supposed to be "superior" to humans! » Blitzo laughed.
« No matter. The matter at hand is concluded. Leave at once. »
« Okie dokie! » Blitzo replied casually. « Seriously, why were we locked up in a cave utterly terrified in the first place? »
« Wait, wasn't it about-» Moxxie realized, before Paimon pointed at something.
« Hey look! Paimon has spotted more opportunities to become rich over there! »
« Well, doesn't matter. Time to make more money! And also stopping Osial when he comes or whatever. » Blitzo exclaimed.
Xxxxxxx
Many thanks to Inanna for many of the suggestions for this chapter.
I hope you enjoy this new chapter! Please review so I can know your opinion. I'm willing to accept suggestions for what is going to happen, so stay tuned! Also, remember to like and follow, if you want!
See you to the next update!