At the Yanshang Teahouse, the Overlords had come over to have some tea. It had become a habit of the group, especially Carmilla and her daughters.
In fact, she even had become a friend of Uncle Tien, owner of the establishment.
One of the daughters was a female demon with puce skin, curly cream hair tied up in a ponytail, black lips, eyes with red sclera and white irises, and small black horns atop her head.
The other was a female demon of tall and thin stature. She had white skin, light blonde hair tied up in a short ponytail, eyes with red sclera and white irises, and small black horns atop her head.
Both were cladded in typical Liyuean clothing, just like their mother.
« We thank you for your hospitality, Mr. Tian. Though we are curious as to why you have decided to request our help. Is everything all right? » Carmilla asked a man.
« Don't worry, I'm quite alright. It's just the years gradually catching up with me. » the man, Tian, replied. « As I grow older, I'm starting to find that with many things, though the mind is willing, the flesh is weak. Especially recently, I've noticed a rather drastic drop in my energy levels. I am still very much in good standing as the Tianshu today. Nevertheless, I wish to pass on the position before my mental acuity begins to decline beyond redemption. »
« It is quite the complex task, is it not? » one of the daughters asked.
« Indeed. The Tianshu is a rather unique position among the Liyue Qixing. Historically speaking, the Tianshu rarely appears in public. We stay behind the scenes, planning and giving advice. So a public selection process would not be suitable. » Tian replied. « We also want to keep any prospective Tianshu candidates free from influence by outside forces, so we tend to be as discreet as possible in their assessment and appointment. For these reasons, the incumbent Tianshu typically recommends their candidate of choice, and this is then approved by the other Qixing members. »
« And I assume that, given your current health issues, picking a successor is turning out to be a rather hazardous task? » Carmilla asked.
« Correct. Unfortunately, due to my health, I won't be able to assess every candidate myself. » Tian replied. « This is why I've decided to ask for your assistance. As the greatest weapon providers in both Liyue and the Adventurer Guild, and because of your help in the war against Osial, I trust in your capabilities. »
« You are far too kind, Mr. Tian. » Carmilla replied.
« I do believe I'm also part of this ceremony, my dear? You have always been so kind, darling, but I doubt you also invited me here without a reason. » Rosie commented.
« Indeed. After all, you are also becoming famous, as a Counsellor in the new "cannibal" neighbourhood. » Tian replied.
« I fear that it's still too early for putting the word cannibal in quotations mark, darling. Unless you consider Fatui agents "non-humans" … » Rosie replied.
« …Fair enough….»
« Then it is settled. Would it be possible to see some of the contestants for the position? » Carmilla asked.
« I do believe I should introduce you to my assessment officer first. » Tian replied.
« I'm heartbroken... I thought it might take you a little longer than this to forget all about me? » a girl replied.
She had pale skin, light emerald-green eyes, and dark blue hair and asymmetrical bangs that were lighter at the tips.
Her attire consisted of a blue qipao-like overcoat and a dark bodysuit embellished with silver details. Her attire was decorated with a number of trinkets and accessories, including white bracelets on her arms and a number of chokers and necklaces around her neck from which a charm resembling a die hung. In addition to this, she kept a furred white coat hanging from the back of her outfit somewhat resembling a cape and sported a pair of thigh-high boots that leave a part of her thigh exposed, where her Hydro Vision was attached. She also sported a pair of white blue-tipped earrings resembling teardrops.
« Ah, Miss Yelan. Fancy seeing you here…» Carmilla greeted her.
« Uncle Tian here asked me to assess three candidates for him with your help. » Yelan replied.
« Very well. Let us see the mettle of the three candidates, shall we? » Carmilla replied.
« Though I gotta say, Uncle Tian, you say you're into behind-the-scenes planning? My work's of the covert variety, too... Don't you think I might make a good Tianshu? » Yelan asked.
« Daring today, aren't we, darling? » Rosie pinched Yelan's cheek in response.
« I'm not opposed to the idea, but I suspect Ningguang wouldn't let you go very easily after how long you've been working together. » Tian replied. « So how about this... If your investigation reveals that none of the other candidates are qualified for the position, I'll recommend you for the job. »
« Deal. Well, you guys take your time. Everything's all set for the assessments to go ahead. » Yelan replied. « Meet me on the first floor when you're ready. Until then... have a pleasant conversation. »
«Speaking of conversation, Carmilla, how are your daughters doing? I heard that the two have become Madame Ping's apprentices in the Adepti arts. » Rosie asked.
« Currently we've learned both alchemy and how to use Sigils in battle. Already with our own capabilities, they're turning out to be quite useful. » one of the daughters replied.
« We hope to find an opportunity to show you all our progress. » the other added.
«I'm sure you will. » Carmilla replied.
However, unbeknownst to the whole group, a pair of eyes was stalking them in the dark.
Having heard all he needed to hear, a hidden Sir Pentious slithered away, as he prepared his next move. « Oh, those poor Liyueans. The position of Tianshu is mine to command! »
Xxxxxxx
A few minutes later, Sir Pentious was in front of the Hazbin Hotel, and after striking a dramatic pose, he knocked on the main door politely.
Greeting him was a confused Vaggie. « Uh, Sir Pentious? What are you doing here? »
« Oh, hey Miss Vaggie. Are either Husk, Cherri or Angel free at the moment? I have a pretty serious Chilli Churros infestation and I could use their manual labour…» Pentious requested.
« Count me in, snake boy. I need money for bloody booze. » Husk arrived.
« Really? I thought you had more than enough thanks to the bar and that TGC game everyone plays…» Sir Pentious noted.
« Hell's booze is running low, meaning the only alcohol left is Liyuean wine, which is bloody expensive. » Husk replied.
« Have you considered just to stop being such an alcoholic? » Vaggie asked annoyed.
« Why the fuck would I ever do that? » Husk replied.
« Whatever. Anyway, as for both Cherri and Angel, they're both at the Adventurer's Guild. I think they have some sort of exploration assignment, so they may take a while…» Vaggie continued.
« Adventurer's Guild! Got it! We'll be right back! » Sir Pentious exclaimed, as he dragged Husk away.
Xxxxxxx
At the Adventurer's Guild, Angel and Cherri had returned after exterminating some Hilichurls. But as they returned, they noticed Sir Pentious and Husk waiting for them.
« Snake eyes! Pussycat! How are ya two doin'? » Angel asked.
« Better than ever! For I have a devious plan that shall grant me power beyond imagining! » Sir Pentious declared.
« Holy shit. Again? This is the third time this week… » Cherri commented.
« Indeed! But this time I shall be triumphant! » Pentious shot back.
« So what's the plan? You just dragged me out of the bar, and I expect some bloody money now.» Husk asked annoyed.
« I plan to become a Tianshu, the personal advisor of the Qixing! » Pentious declared.
« Huh. What do ya know…that sounds like a sound plan actually. » Angel commented.
« So what's the plan, edgelord? » Cherri asked.
« First, I'll introduce myself to the election of the next Tianshu! Then, I shall surprise the jury with my genius! » Pentious replied.
« What about us? » Angel asked.
« Well, as any elections, there's competition. And I need you guys to….make things easier…. » Pentious smirked.
« Then why didn't you call the Imps or some shit? » Cherri asked.
« Let's just say…they were busy…» Pentious replied.
Xxxxxxx
Five minutes earlier….
« Sorry, Snakeman. We're having a bit of a situation here in Mondstadt. Femboy related… » Blitzo spoke to Pentious on the phone.
« Femboy related? What do you mean? » Pentious asked.
On the other side, Venti, clearly under the influence of some substances, had grabbed Blitzo's phone. « MORTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL! I HAVE SNORTED A SUITCASE FULL OF COKE! AND I'M REALLY STARTING TO FEEL THE EFFECTS! » he exclaimed, before laughing like a madman and sending the phone flying to the stratosphere.
Xxxxxxx
« Well, if you become a Tianshu, you better make booze cheaper. » Husk replied.
« That I shall! But first, to my factories! » Pentious declared.
« Okay, but why tho? » Cherri asked.
« Oh, yeah. Forgot to tell you. I actually have a massive Chilli Churros infestation. I was on the way to the Hazbin Hotel before I heard the conversation of a possible new Tianshu at the Yanshang Teahouse… » Pentious replied.
« Well let's make it quick. I could REALLY use a buddy in the Liyuean high-ups…»
Xxxxxxx
Meanwhile, at the Yuehai Pavilion, the examination was already taking place.
« Hello. Hehe... Not gonna lie, I'm feeling a little nervous. » one of the candidates introduced himself. « What would you like to know? You're here to assess me, so ask away and I'll answer your questions to the best of my ability. »
« Your manifesto is very wide in its scope, but you don't seem to be personally involved in many of the specific fields. How can you be sure that you have the ability to put your plan into action? » Carmilla asked bluntly.
« Starting off with a bang, aren't ya, dear? » Rosie commented.
« Actually, I think it's a very fair question. I completely understand where you're coming from. » the man replied. « But I'm confident in my plan. I've visited many different places, talked to lots of people with far more expertise than myself, and my manifesto is the conclusion of these efforts. Of course, two different problems can be interconnected in very complicated ways, and you might reach two very contradictory conclusions depending on which one you're focusing on. What I've tried to do is strike a balance. In other words, present an optimal solution to all the problems as a whole. »
« How do you plan to determine whether you are right or wrong about your proposed solution being the optimal one? » Yelan asked.
« A great question! Well, I'd start by having my colleagues and the secretaries of the Yuehai Pavilion evaluate any proposals before implementation. Post-implementation, it would all come down to the results. » the man replied. « If it turned out that my judgment was to blame for poor results, I would take responsibility. »
« Nice answer. Alright, next question-» Yelan replied, before the entrance of the Yuehai Pavilion exploded, with Sir Pentious dramatically slithering inside, whilst angelic music played.
« People of Liyue! I've come here to deliver my proposition as a member of the Tianshu! THIS IS MY BEST MANIFESTO YET! And the Qixing have agreed in me participating this competition, before you ask me! » Pentious declared, as Angel, Cherri and Husk dropped a comically large book in front of Carmilla, her daughters, Yelan and the candidate.
« ….Sir Pentious…what are you doing? » an annoyed Carmilla asked.
« I'm interested in becoming a candidate in the position of Tianshu! Under my rule, the people of Liyue will be forced to live happy fulfilling lives, with fair working hours, enough time to spend with their loved ones, excellent education, AND FREE HEALTHCARE! » Pentious laughed maniacally as he revealed his "evil plan."
« AND free healthcare…. Can't believe I'm saying it, but your manifesto is quite interesting…» Yelan noted.
« Lady Yelan, you can't be serious! You really intend to have HIM as a Tianshu!? » Carmilla exclaimed, as he pointed at Sir Pentious, the latter having a derpy expression on his face.
« In all fairness, whilst his speech leaves to be desired, he does have the skills and the tech to make all of his plans a reality… » the candidate commented.
« See? This guy gets it. » Angel smirked, as he pulled out a small notebook with the word "People to put bombs under their cars" written on the cover, and then proceeded to cancel the name Zhiyi on the list, the other two people being Qianwei and Mingbo.
« In any case, if you intend to become a Tianshu, I will have to ask you a few question….» Yelan replied.
« ASK AND I SHALL ANSWER! » Pentious replied dramatically.
« Okay, but why are you so dramatic? » Yelan asked confused.
« I am a demonic overlord! » Pentious replied.
« …That makes….too much sense…» Yelan massaged her temples.
Xxxxxxx
The next day, the contestants were back in the Yuehai Pavilion to see who was the winner.
« It looks like we're all here. Well then, time for me to announce the results of the assessment process. » Yelan declared. « I won't drone on about the importance of the Tianshu role. Suffice to say that Uncle Tian entrusted me with the monumentally important task of assessing the candidates, and now it falls to me to give him a satisfactory answer. »
« All of us here know the score. Don't beat around the bush, just get on with it. » Qianwei bluntly declared.
« Yeah! Get on with it!» Sir Pentious exclaimed, followed by Cherri, Angel and Husk yelling out the same thing.
« Qianwei has many pioneering ideas, but some of his plans are lacking in detail, and he easily gets into testy exchanges with other people. Mingbo is reliable, but not quite ambitious enough, and because of his personality, he struggles to win people over. And Sir Pentious is….Sir Pentious…» Yelan replied.
« An astute observation. » Carmilla added.
« In contrast, Zhiyi is evenly balanced across the board, and enjoys an excellent reputation in Liyue. » Yelan continued. « After much consideration, I have decided to recommend Zhiyi to the Liyue Qixing. »
« What!? » Qianwei exclaimed.
« BULLSHIT! » Sir Pentious slammed his fists angrily on a nearby table.
« Oh, uh... Congratulations...» Mingbo congratulated the man.
« Thank you. Honestly, I'm a little surprised to hear my name being announced. » Zhiyi commented.
« What the hell dude!? You were in my cool list! » Angel complained.
« In my estimation, all four of us are worthy candidates for the Tianshu position. As your competitor, I've become keenly aware of your great talents. » Zhiyi replied. « Would either of you entertain the possibility of working with me in the future, and taking on some of my workload? »
« I'll have to see. I'm in a bad mood. This is the last thing I want to be thinking about right now. » Qianwei replied.
« Kiss my ass. » Pentious flipped the double bird.
« I don't mind... As long as I can help...» Mingbo was the most polite of the bunch.
« Okay, well that's all from me. Zhiyi, you'll have some preparation to do. It won't be long before you're informed of your official appointment. I hope you will work hard and make Uncle Tian proud. » Yelan said.
« I will live up to the Tianshu name. On this, you have my word. » Zhiyi replied. « I should go. I need to pack my things and then I think a celebratory meal is in order... Would anyone like to join me? »
« Count me out. I am not in the mood for a celebration. » Qianwei replied.
« Idem. » Pentious grumbled angrily.
As Zhiyi exited the building, Pentious grumbled even more. « Well, that was a waste of time…»
« You giving up? That's not something ya do often…» Angel commented, as the demons exited the building as well.
« Well there's nothing we can do. Killing him won't do anything. » Sir Pentious replied, before pulling out a contract. « I even thought of the possibility of forcing him to write this contract giving up his position to me, but that ain't happening…»
« What's stopping ya, big guy? » Angel asked.
« Well, for starters, he obviously won't just sign the contract voluntarily. Second, threatening him won't work. He has the Minister of Civil Affairs on his side, plus Carmilla and her Cryo vision. Not to mention her daughters have a talent for the Adepti Arts, and are being trained by Madame Ping. Wouldn't be surprised if they ever became Adeptus… » Pentious explained.
« And what if we threaten the guy in secret? » Angel proposed.
« What do you mean? » Pentious asked.
« Well, for this to work, we need a hammer, a chair, some restraint material, and a lamp. This is gonna get bloody. » Angel smirked.
« …I can see where this is going…AND ME LIKEY! » Pentious replied.
« Well, first thing first, let's find the asshole! » Angel exclaimed, as the group headed out.
Xxxxxxx
After a while, the demons had located Zhiyi at Qingxu Pool.
« Oh, there's the asshole-oh come on…» Angel smirked, before grumbling angrily.
« We lost him? » Pentious asked.
« I wish… » Angel groaned, as he pointed at Zhiyi alongside a Fatui agent.
« Oh god damn it…it's the fucking Futas. » Husk grumbled.
« And what a surprise, the fucker works for him… » Cherri added.
« Yeah, let's just kill them. » Angel said.
« Agreed. » Husk smirked.
« Wait! Let them do their things first. Then we strike! » Pentious proposed.
« Another one of your plans, edgelord? » Cherri commented.
« We must have patience. Perhaps the enemy will make a mistake…» Pentious smirked.
And so, the demons remained hidden.
« Mmm... I can tell from the aroma that this is very fine liquor indeed. I'm impressed. » the Fatui agent commented, as he opened a bottle. « Come on, bottoms up. After you, of course! »
With that said, Zhiyi took a sip, and begun to cough. « ...Sorry, that went down the wrong way. I've never drunk anything this strong before. It'll take me some getting used to. »
« You'll get there. If you want to stay friends with us, you have to drink with us. » the Fatui replied.
« ...I'll do my best. » Zhiyi replied.
« You're more of a lightweight than I thought... Already struggling after one glass? » the Fatui joked. « I thought you were made of sterner stuff. You certainly kept it together when you were poisoning your teacher's soup! »
« …That backstabbing whore…. » Angel grumbled angrily.
« Come on, another round. Less talking, more drinking, haha! » the Fatui laughed.
« Sure. You didn't leave me much of a choice, though, did you? Just the mention of poisoning sends shivers down my spine. » Zhiyi shuddered. « I'm more timid than you realize. Every time I poisoned him, I had to hide away at home for a few days because I was so scared of getting caught. »
« Look, I know it has not been easy for you, my friend. We appreciate all your hard work. But I have to say: You really are quite a genius at poisoning people. » the Fatui congratulated the man. « I mean, the poison we brought from Snezhnaya is as strong as this wine, but you found a way to turn it into an imperceptible, slow-acting poison and came up with the idea of delivering it through fish soup. What was it you said... Oh yeah. You said "the soup's fishy flavor neutralizes the pungency of the poison, and this process even makes the soup tastier as a result"... Tsk tsk, how did you think of that? »
« It struck me one day when I was fishing. I'm lucky it did, otherwise, I'm not sure I would have been able to fool Uncle Tian. » Zhiyi explained.
« You have performed excellently! The Fatui will continue to provide the support you need to consolidate your position as Tianshu. Of course, this is as long as you continue to do as we instruct. » the Fatui explained. « Aside from Qingxu Pool, we also have some other requests for you, which we will inform you of in due course. »
« Don't worry. Whatever tasks you have for me, I will perform them diligently. » Zhiyi replied.
« That's it. That fucker is dead. » Angel pulled out his Thompson submachine gun, before Pentious blocked him, tasting the air with his forked tongue.
« I don't think we'll need THAT to deal with the Futa…» Pentious smirked.
In the meantime, both Zhiyi and the Fatui enjoyed the liquor.
« Ahhh... Excellent liquor! We've seen no progress on the diplomatic front, and everyone has been eyeing up the treasure of Qingxu Pool. It's been a real headache for me. » the Fatui explained. « But soon, everything will be taken care of, and I can report back on a successful mission. Thank you, Zhiyi! I remember when I first saw you... I knew right away that you would make a good partner for us. Hey, do you still remember what I said to you? »
« How could I forget. You said a lowly commoner like me could never be seen as a serious candidate for the Tianshu, no matter how hard I work. » Zhiyi replied. « "The only way is for you to shine bright in the Tianshu's darkest moment"... I think you were absolutely right. »
« Yes. Under normal circumstances, the gap between you and other people could only ever grow wider over time. Just look at your two competitors. » the Fatui explained. « Qianwei had wealth, Mingbo had reputation, but you? You had nothing. You were just another nobody! And that's why I decided to help you. Yeah, there is an old saying in the Fatui: Give a starving dog a bone, and it'll guard your home for the rest of its life. »
« Yes, I cannot thank you enough for your generous support. » Zhiyi replied.
« Hahaha... You know, the best thing about you is that you do as you're told, without complaining. Keep up the good work, and I can assure you, you'll never have to worry about Mora again. » the Fatui smirked. « Heck, when you're not in the company of the Fatui, you'll be able to throw your weight around as much as you want. How about that? »
« How long do we have to wait? » Cherri asked bored.
« Yeah. Why the hell are we waiting in the first place? » Husk asked.
« Now, why would I ruin the surprise? » Pentious smirked evilly.
« Tell you what, snake eyes. Ya got me intrigued. » Angel smirked as well.
« Is there any more alcohol? Go on, fill me up. I'm in a good mood today, and I'm gonna drink my fill. Make sure to get me home safely afterward. » the Fatui commanded.
« There's only a little left. Here, I'll fill your glass. If you like it, I can bring you some more next time. » Zhiyi replied, as he poured what little alcohol was left.
« ...Phwoar, this is the good stuff, it is great...» the Fatui gulped it down.
Suddenly, however, the Fatui official seemed to be in pain and slowly dropped to the ground.
« ...What the...» the man uttered between coughs. « Zhiyi... You... You poisoned my wine? But when... »
« You seem surprised, Mr. Yusupov? » Zhiyi smirked.
« You... How could you... » Yusupov gritted his teeth angrily.
« How could I not? I've sacrificed years of my life studying and reflecting to prepare myself for this position, and in the end I even had to poison my own teacher. » Zhiyi shot back. « You really think I'd put myself through all that just to become your little puppet? I don't want to bow down to anyone ever again, and that includes you. »
« You imbecile! It's the Fatui who got you to where you are, do you understand? ...If I disappear with no explanation, the embassy will come after you... They'll get to the bottom of this, mark my words! » Yusupov exclaimed.
« Do you see the haystack in the corner? Underneath it is a pile of explosives. And next door in the darkroom are the three undercover agents you sent to infiltrate the Blackcliff Forge. » Zhiyi explained. « I'm gonna stay here till I see you slip into unconsciousness, then I'm gonna set this on fire. Once the flames burn through the hay, they'll ignite the explosives, the ruins will collapse, and everything will be buried. »
« Wh—What do you hope to...»
« I took the liberty of leaving some evidence of your contact with the undercover agents at the Blackcliff Forge. It won't take long for people to join the dots... Two missing-person cases will become one as the "truth" gradually reveals itself. The Fatui planted undercover agents in the Blackcliff Forge to steal their signature ruin-grade explosives. Their plan was to blow through the solid floor tiles in the dead of night and seize the treasure of Qingxu Pool. But things didn't quite go to plan. Mistakes were made that led to the accidental deaths of the entire crew. » Zhiyi explained. « Faced with the overwhelming evidence, the embassy won't investigate this any further. In fact, they'll be only too happy to blame it all on a rogue operation by you. It explains why you acted alone, while exonerating the rest of the embassy of any liability. Of course, none of that will have anything to do with me. When all of this comes to my attention, I'm afraid I'll have no choice but to cancel the Qingxu Pool Redevelopment Plan immediately. I guess then, I'll be Tianshu in my own right, with a clean record and well out of the Fatui's reach. »
« Zhiyi, do you really think you're gonna get away with this? The Fatui has a record of everything! That includes the poison, all interactions between us, even my trip here tonight! » Yusupov laughed. « After I die... they'll come looking... and they'll get to the bottom of this...»
« A record? Oh, you must mean the one in the hands of your second-in-command, Theofan? » Zhiyi asked.
« H—How do you know about that? » Yusupov exclaimed shocked.
« Because when you contacted me, I also made contact with your associates. I have Theofan to thank for providing me with the poison I used on you today. » Zhiyi replied. « He'll help me tie up all the loose ends. After all, your untimely demise comes with a few perks for him. »
« That traitor! » Yusupov yelled angrily, before coughing hard. « ...Zhiyi, you—»
« Shhh. Relax... It's over. After tonight, everyone gets what they want. And anyone else in the know is either my accomplice, or about to be taken out of the picture. » Zhiyi mocked the man.
« Either that, or they're willing to make a compromise…» Angel said, as he and the demons came out of hiding.
Zhiyi widened his eyes in shock at the scene. « W-what!? How did you-»
« It doesn't matter how we got here. What matters is what I propose. » Pentious smirked, as he handed over the contract to Zhiyi, before shooting Yusupov in the head.
Zhiyi begun to read the contract, and was confused. « Wait…you want me to give up the position of Tianshu, but you ALSO want me to essentially keep most of the power that comes with it? »
« I've never been one for politics. Schemes aren't just for me. » Sir Pentious explained. « I'm one that prefers…honesty…in my line of work…»
« But as we've seen here, honesty gets you nowhere, now, does it? » Husk added.
« That's…one way to put it…» Zhiyi sighed.
« So here's how it works. I become the Tianshu, but YOU'll be my act man! YOU'll be the one in charge of the ship! » Sir Pentious explained. « No strings. No obedience. Just you doing your things, only having to "nominally" work under me. But trust me, don't like to have strings on my name… »
« …Sounds too good to be true…» Zhiyi noted.
« Does he look like the kind of guy that would scheme on your back? » Angel asked.
« Besides, it's not like you have, like, a choice or something. » Cherri added.
« Well, when you put it like that…» Zhiyi sighed. « Well, business could had been better. But your offer DOES have it perks. »
« Oh, and the thing about having your teacher's life on your conscience? No need to worry for that. With the Futa's dealt with, and after Sir Pentious becomes the new Tianshu, we'll secretly heal the old man. » Husk added. « Nobody will even know the poor bastard has been poisoned. As for the Futa's, we don't fear the Kremlin. I'm sure they can have a little…accident…»
« Well, when you put it like that, I'm sold. » Zhiyi smirked. « Never knew it would be this advantageous to deal with the devil…»
« Oh, it's good, all right…» Angel smirked, before picking up Yusupov sword.
« Soo…when I'm gonna become the next Tianshu, what sort of speech should I make? » Pentious asked.
« Could I propose-» Zhiyi begun, before being stabbed by Angel in the chest.
« Never. Deal with Futa killers. » Angel smirked, before pulling out the sword and decapitating the man.
« How could the Futas kill poor Zhiyi! » Pentious said in a sad tone, before letting out an evil laugh.
« C'mon, let's deal with the other Futas. » Husk said.
« Not so fast, demons! » a voice called them out, belonging to Yelan. She was followed by her assistants and the Millelith, who quickly encircled them.
« Oh hey fur coat! Got here just in time! » Angel smirked.
« Oh, what a terrible day today is! The great Tianshu of Liyue has been slain by FOUL Futa agents! » Sir Pentious declared dramatically. « He had attempted to deal with the Futas to protect Liyue, but the Communist FILTH laid a cowardly ambush on him! Before he died, he signed a contract in which he gave up his position to me. the poor man thought he was not up to the challenge. Such a sweet man, may he rest in peace….»
« A "sweet man" is surely one way to call him…» Yelan replied angrily, before pulling out a Kamera which showed the prior scene.
The demons simply remained silent. « Okay, what we said wasn't entirely the truth, but he was obviously a Futa cocksucker! »
« Yeah! Did a blood service to this bloody cesspit of a Communist Commune! » Husk added.
« All we did was just taking advantage of the situation! Ya would had done the same thing, fur-tits. » Angel smirked.
« Perhaps I would had. None the less, you'll have to come with me. » Yelan replied.
« Use your brain, bitch! We're gonna stop those fucking Futas! » Cherri shot back.
« Oh, I'm trying. And I'm failing. And I'm sorry for that. It's just that I'm so agitated. Because I specifically asked for Ninnguang to allow Sir Pentious to participate in the Tianshu selection to use him as a pawn against a possible Fatui conspiracy. Then I even decided to let you FIRST in Qingxu Pool to deal with the Fatui, and NOW my only leads for a greater Fatui operation have been either stabbed in the chest, shot in the head, or are about to be brutally killed and, for all I know, will be placed in awkward sexual positions! » Yelan replied angrily.
« We might have to use the Kamasutra a bit…» Angel replied with an "oopsie" face.
« …You're just fucking with me…» Yelan snapped.
« Well it's not like you can do much against us…» Angel smirked.
« You, see…cunt…all you have against us is a fancy bow, a bunch of NKVD knockoff agents, and a bunch of wankers you picked off the street dressed in ancient Chinese armour… » Husk smirked, before turning serious, as he and the rest of the demons took a fighting stance. « WE, on the other hand, are professional killers that have been exterminating Futas and Chilli Churros for a living for a YEAR now. In short, get the fuck out of our way, or face a horrible death. »
« If you kill me, you'll have the entirety of Liyue as an enemy in a matter of hours. » Yelan smirked evilly.
« Well I'm sure we could book a vacation to Mondstadt. The incompetents of Flavour are far more manageable than you commie fucks…» Angel smirked.
« Aw, how generous of you, handing out all of your industries to the people of Liyue…» Yelan turned towards Pentious.
« Meh. You win some, you lose some. » Pentious smirked, as he prepared for combat. « What's another few weeks? I can always start anew in Mondstadt! Make another factory! »
And with that, demons and Liyueans charged against one another in deadly combat.
As that occurred, Carmilla and her daughters looked at the scene from afar, angry looks on their faces.
« Odette. Clara. » Carmilla spoke.
« Yes mother? » the two said in unison.
« Show me what Madame Ping taught you… » Carmilla commanded.
« With pleasure, mother. » the two replied angrily, as they walked towards the battle.
In the meantime, Rosie had joined Carmilla, and as the two reached the battlefield, she pulled out a small radio, and begun to play Bella Notte by Lady and the Tramp, grinning evilly as she did in a way that would make Alastor blush.
As the two daughters reached the battle, the following carnage begun when Angel said « Ayo what the fu-» before the two begun to go to town against both demons and Liyueans, battling also the latter because of how much they were caught up in the moment.
Not even Yelan was spared, as she joined Diona as one of the few people in Teyvat to have ever reached space, this time as part of the Liyuean Space Program.
Xxxxxxx
Many thanks to Inanna for many of the suggestions for this chapter.
I hope you enjoy this new chapter! Please review so I can know your opinion. I'm willing to accept suggestions for what is going to happen, so stay tuned! Also, remember to like and follow, if you want!
See you to the next update!