In Mondstadt, the Imps seemed to carry an impossibly large sack, and dropped it in front of the Adventurer's Guild.
« Here's all the shit Margaret needed. Also grabbed some flowers for Albert, found the billboards, found some wind traces for that writer, and cleared up all the barricades and killed all the Chilli Churros. » Blitzo said in an annoyed tone.
« Can we have some good fucking missions now? I swear if I have to collect another fucking flower, I'm gonna lose it! » Loona exclaimed.
« Yes, as a matter of fact. » Katheryne replied. « Compared to previous major incidents, this one is not the most peculiar. However, it is still quite serious, as it risks having a great impact on Mondstadt's economy. »
« Well that can't be good! » Millie exclaimed.
« Yeah! It's where all of our money comes from! » Blitzo added.
« Recently, the bodies of water near the winery have turned bitter without any warning. If this persists, Mondstadt's wine industry may be wiped out in just a few years. » Katheryne explained.
« OH SHIT DADDY'S IN DANGER! » Blitzo exclaimed.
« Why do you keep calling him that? He's not your father…» Katheryne raised an eyebrow confused, causing Blitzo to cringe. « Anyway, for more details, please speak with Connor at the winery. »
« That we must! COME FORTH, MY MINIONS! MONDSTADT'S ONLY COMPETENT PERSON IS IN GRAVE DANGER! » Blitzo exclaimed dramatically.
« You're spending waaay too much time with Fischl, boss…» Moxxie said annoyed.
Xxxxxxx
Five minutes later, the Imps were at the winery, where they found Connor.
« Are you the people sent by the Adventurers' Guild? » Connor asked.
« Indeed! We're here to save Mondstadt's only competent person from complete disaster! » Blitzo exclaimed dramatically.
« Well that's great. There's going to be a shit-ton of explosions, but at least the deed is gonna be done. Now, as for the matter at hand — rather than listening to me explain it, you may as well experience it for yourselves. » Connor explained. « This is a bottle of water that we drew just recently. It is hygienic, don't worry — we've put it through its purification paces. Have a taste and see. »
Confused, the Imps none the less grabbed a glass and took a sip, tasting the water for a while.
« ….I mean, a bit bitter, but not the end of the world- » Blitzo commented, before he begun to puke profusely.
« Seriously boss?! I thought you could handle your shit-» Moxxie exclaimed in response, only for him to start puking as well.
« In all seriousness, I'm starting to feel a bit sick…» Millie commented.
« Oh, come on, girl. You can handle it-» Loona replied annoyed, before she also started puking.
« Oh no…..» was all Millie could say, before she also started puking.
« Oh...Oh, God, why didn't anybody tell me...» Moxxie said, as he puked once more.
« OH, MY GOD, MY INSIDES ARE ON FIR- » Blitzo exclaimed, before puking once more.
« No, please...no more...no more, no... » Moxxie pleaded in vain, as he vomited once more.
« Oh god, I'm fucking scared-» Millie said, as she puked again.
« Get the phone! Call the knights-» Loona exclaimed, before puking as well.
« Diluc! Diluc, Diluc, get in here-» Blitzo pleaded, before puking once more.
Then, a few seconds passed.
« Okay. I think it's all gone. I think it's-» Loona said in a tired voice, before puking once more.
« I don't wanna, I don't wanna-» Moxxie whined, as he puked once more.
This continued for a good five minutes.
« Uhm…are you good now? » a concerned Connor asked, and almost as a response, the Imps puked in unison.
Xxxxxxx
Five minutes later…
« That's not water! That's fucking poison! » Blitzo exclaimed, having recovered from the experience.
« This bitterness cannot be removed via conventional purification processes, so it's not an issue of the water's composition. I suspect it must be some mysterious elemental phenomenon. » Connor explained. « As such, this water can't be used to make wine at all. »
« Anything else we should know? » Loona asked.
« We tried cooking some of the fish killed by the bitter water. All the food we made turned out bitter, too. » Connor replied.
« Makes too much sense…» Moxxie groaned.
« Anyway, that's the situation. If you're looking for somewhere to start, my gut tells me you should investigate northward. Additionally, I wonder if Liyue's Bishui River or the waters of Qingce Village have been affected... » Connor explained.
« On our fucking way. » was all Blitzo said, as he and the Imps slumped away.
Xxxxxxx
After a while, the group reached their destination, and found several slimes.
« Oh, great. Slimes. The second most abundant creature on this planet after Chilli Churros…» Moxxie cursed.
« Think they have something to do with the water? » Millie asked the rest of the group.
« Maybe? Let's just kill them. » Blitzo grinned as he pulled out a shotgun.
« Agreed. » Loona growled, as she dashed forward, ripping one of the slimes in half, before the rest of the gang joined to quickly deal with the pests.
However, Loona noticed something inside one of the slimes.
An oceanic creature of some sort.
« Guys? I think the slimes ate a ghost or some shit…» Loona exclaimed.
« Endora... no water... dying...» the creature, Endora, replied.
« Are you Endora? Are you the reason water tastes like shit? » Blitzo asked.
« Bitterness... an enemy. It will kill... Endora. » Endora replied.
« Well that rules you out as a suspect, so what can we do to help ya? » Blitzo asked.
« Need... sweet water. Must go to... spring. » Endora replied. « Endora... need water to move. No water. Nowhere to go. »
« Shit…and all we have is this shitty bottle of water…» Loona cursed.
« Endora... can endure. But... not for long. » Endora replied, as she entered the bottle.
« Not to worry, watery thingie! We'll save you from this shitty water! TO SPRINGVALE! » Blitzo exclaimed, as he raced off.
« How long has he hang out with Fishl? » Moxxie asked concerned.
« Too long, buddy. Too long. » Loona sighed.
Xxxxxxx
After a while, the group reached Springvale, and in an incredible show of agility and worry, Blitzo leaped into the air, dunking Endora into the Springvale's spring whilst yelling Xenas's battle cry.
« C'mon, little fairy thingie! Don't you die on me! » Blitzo exclaimed.
« Why are you so worried about the little shit? » Loona asked.
« No creature deserves to taste the water we just drank. With the exception of Futas and Chilli Churros. » Blitzo replied.
« Amen to that! » Moxxie replied.
« Water here... sweet. Endora finds... same species. » Endora said, feeling far better than before. « Endora and... same species, make the water sweet. Bitterness... Rhodeia's doing. »
« Who the fuck is Rhodeia and how do we kill the bitch? » Blitzo asked.
Suddenly, however, came an old man with dark hair and a brown cap. « …Who are you? » the man asked.
« Immediate Murder Professionals. Normally we're a team of six, but our two unpaid interns are busy with other matters. Something about helping a chick with fruits. » Blitzo casually replied.
« And I am Endora. I am a Lochfolk. » Endora explained.
« …You're the spitting image of her. Just a fair bit smaller. » the old man commented after pondering a bit.
« Image of who? » Blitzo asked confused.
« …Water spirits? » Moxxie guessed.
« Endora... still small! Endora... still learning. » Endora replied.
« Well, your appearance proves to me that she was real. It wasn't just a dream. » the old man replied.
« She is still here. Name... unknown. She will not answer Endora. » Endora replied. « Endora... wants to talk to her. Can take a message. What do you want to say? »
« You're saying she's been here all this time? And you can give her a message for me? » the man asked incredulous.
« Yes. Yes. » was Endora's response.
« … I'm so old now, I...» the man pondered for a bit. « ...Tell her I said hello. »
And with that, Endora dived into the spring.
Xxxxxxx
Five minutes later, Endora came out of the spring.
« Done talking with the resident tartary twat? » Blitzo asked.
« She said some... strange things. Endora does not understand. » Endora replied. « The stream... hmm... I did not understand. Asked, received no reply. »
« Well that went nowhere. Now what? » Blitzo asked annoyed.
Suddenly, however, Endora widened her eyes.
« Fairy? Ya good? » Blitzo asked.
« Rhodeia's gaze... near the Stone Gate! Small water animals. Her scouts. » was Endora's response.
« Wouldn't there happen to be horses in there? » Moxxie asked.
« Why? » Endora asked.
« 'Cause once we're done, this Rhodeia chick is gonna find a horse head on her mattress. » Moxxie smirked.
« We're NOT killing any horses. » Blitzo ordered the Imp.
« Well it was worth a shot. » Moxxie shrugged.
« Powerful water... changes shape into animals. Very dangerous. But joining with them... we learn new things. » Endora explained. « Take me there. Rhodeia is uneasy. Rhodeia... makes water bitter. Endora will learn to speak. Explain to her. »
« In that case, to Stone Gate we go to stone a whore! » Blitzo exclaimed.
« Holy shit! » Millie exclaimed.
« I mean with bullets! What do I look like, Saddam Hussein? » Blitzo replied with a deadpan expression.
Xxxxxxx
After a while, the group reached their destination, and all around, several creatures were running around.
« Holy shit water animals! » Blitzo exclaimed.
« They... carry messages. Learn... by joining with them. » Endora explained.
« How does that work? » Millie asked.
« You...throw Endora at them. » Endora replied.
In response, all looked at Moxxie, who looked whimsically in the wind. « My time has come…»
He then shoved Endora in a gigantic machine gun, and begun to fire at the various critters in the area, laughing maniacally as he did.
After a while, all the critters had been dealt with.
« Holy shit, Moxxie, ya good? » Blitzo asked concerned.
« Oh, sorry. Lost myself a bit there. Must had been the water…» Moxxie laughed sheepishly.
« Oh, it's not the only thing it's gonna do…» Blitzo smirked evilly.
« I have found something! » Endora said in a fluent tone.
« Well glad ya managed to overpower your speech impediment, buddy. » Blitzo shrugged.
« My grasp of language has expanded from merging with those Oceanid Creatures. I can now comprehend the message from Springvale. » Endora replied. « "The stream of life flows on." It's a little melancholic. A short but enigmatic poem. I don't understand it. »
« Meh. Ya'll get it one day, I'm sure. » Blitzo shrugged.
« Endora still has much to learn. » Endora replied. « Rhodeia has been going wild lately. I must face her, and perhaps we can solve the problem that way. »
Xxxxxxx
After a while, the group reached an area where Rhodeia was supposed to be located.
« Okay…now what? » Blitzo asked, before Rhodeia appeared out of nowhere, sending several aquatic creatures against the group.
« HOLY SHI-»
Xxxxxxx
Five minutes later, the battle was all over.
« Guys, if the Futas ever threaten us to waterboard us with these fucking things, I have a bullet for each and every one of ya. »
« Good fucking call, boss…» was Moxxie response.
« I have reached an understanding with Rhodeia. She is the most renowned of us Lochfolk scouts, and also the strongest. But she fled Fontaine, harbouring a longing for the previous Hydro Archon. » Endora explained. « I can no longer return to Fontaine myself, so let me tell you everything. We Lochfolk once spread far and wide to rivers, streams, and ponds all over the continent, and we largely served as Fontaine's spies. »
« Oh…Jesus Christ…» was all Blitzo could utter. « Anime French commandoes….I should have known it! »
« Soo…do we have to shatter Focalos kneecaps or something? » Loona asked.
« The previous Archon had no plan to speak of. She merely wished to connect everyone in the world, in much the same way as all water is connected. » Endora explained. « But with her passing, many of us have cut off ties with Fontaine. Like Rhodeia, the strongest of our number, they did not recognize the new Hydro Archon and desired only to keep the dreams of yesteryear alive. All Rhodeia wants is a small haven of tranquil waters. But she sensed my presence and believed me to be an assassin from Fontaine, and so she stretched forth her enmity, which turned the water bitter, in order to slay me. »
« 'Cause apparently, ya were such a big fucking threat to her that she decided to poison our water supplies, burn down our crops and deliver a plague upon our houses… » Moxxie raised an eyebrow unimpressed.
« The dominant mind of the Lochfolk can be very easily shattered if we come into contact with another smaller but wicked mind. I admired Rhodeia a great deal, and so I piggybacked off a Hydro Slime and left Fontaine, jumping from water body to water body until I finally ended up here. » Endora explained. « I doubt that any other Lochfolk would have shared my level of determination — unless, of course, they were an assassin on a mission. »
« Well that's great and all, but what now? » Loona asked.
« I have explained everything to her. The bitterness in the water should dissipate soon. She even asked if I wanted to join together with the waters of Qingce. » Endora continued.
« Thank fuck! Also thank fuck I took some of that shit water! » Blitzo exclaimed.
« For what? » Moxxie asked confused.
« A…project…» Blitzo smirked evilly.
« But first, I still have one message to deliver. Please, accompany me to Springvale once more. » Endora requested.
« Sure thing, buddy. » was Blitzo response.
Xxxxxxx
After a while, the group reached Springvale, and found the old man from before.
« Finch, Finch! » Endora exclaimed, catching the man by surprise.
« Oh! You scared me... » the man said.
« Calm down, little fairy. The dude is one stone throwaway from a heart attack… » Loona commented.
« No, it's just that... The way you called my name, it sounded just like her... » Finch replied.
« Well, what's the message anyway? » Blitzo asked. « Oh, yeah, she said she had a message for ya or some shit… »
« "With each small step a child takes, a journey through the world it makes. Drops of knowledge this creates, each one the child assimilates."» Endora said.
« "Day by day, a child will age. Drop by drop, a life is made." » Finch continued. « I know this poem. »
« Our lives and yours are very different. As such, we may never understand each other, even for so long as we may live. But our lives are also the same. » Endora said. « We all flow towards the ocean, experiencing new things and encountering new opportunities along the way. Thus, she says this: "When the stars in the night sky have all gone out, and all streams and dreams have mingled in the same great ocean... Then, we will meet again." »
« …I see. » was Finch reply.
« Life flows on, so please, begin to move again. Do not stand still. » Endora continued.
« Haha, that's her, alright. Still treating me like a kid, I see. » Finch laughed. « Alright then. I'd like a quiet moment to myself, if you would. »
« Good, 'cause we're off to get our muneh. » Blito replied.
Xxxxxxx
Five minutes later, the group were at the winery, where they met up with Connor.
« Oh, you're here. » Connor casually said. « I'm guessing that since it was you on the case, everything's been resolved and that's the end of it? »
« Give it a couple of days and the water should be drinkable again. » Blitzo shrugged.
« I see, I see. It makes sense — even if you've removed the cause of the problem, it will still take some time for the water to cleanse itself. » Connor replied. « Well, I suppose I should inform the Adventurers' Guild that this case has been closed. »
Xxxxxxx
After getting paid, the Imps decided to wander a bit, before Endora spoke up.
« Our kind expresses love by merging water bodies together. This way, many minds can coexist without division. » Endora explained. « But understanding other life-forms in this world is not quite so simple. So we observe, study, imitate, and manifest in the form of animals. You could also say that their forms have become a part of us. »
« As long as ya don't imitate owls, we're golden. » Blitzo replied.
« I've never considered how I should live my life after this point. I always assumed that I would merge with Rhodeia, and that this would be good and right. » Endora continued. « But Rhodeia seemed unhappy. She, too, understands that she is only waiting for pure waters to become corrupted. »
« So what happens now? » Moxxie asked.
« Neither Rhodeia nor the one who dwells in Springvale wanted me to follow their paths. But surely they must have hated their lives in Fontaine still more. » Endora replied.
« Good to hear, I guess? » Blitzo replied.
« I've decided to embark on a path that no others before me have. Journeying with you has been a joyful experience, and I wish for all my future days to be just as joyful. » Endora replied. « I wish to travel with you. Before this tiny stream of life flows into the ocean, I wish to see everything from the flowers that bloom on its banks to the clouds that sit on the horizon. »
« Well since it doesn't look like ya need much maintenance, welcome to the I. babe! » Blitzo replied.
« By the way, what was that project you were speaking about before? » Endora asked.
« Oh, just the best prank ever! » Blitzo replied
Xxxxxxx
Meanwhile, in one of the many Fatui bases, Childe, Signora and Scaramouche were sitting in a table, having received a package.
« "To the brave fighters of the Fatui, we offer these kickass bottles of Mondstadt wine as thank you for your services. Signed: a fellow patriot of the Tsaritsa cause" » a confused Childe read, as he held a bottle of wine.
« ….Soooo….this is obviously a trap, right? » Scaramouche commented.
« On the other hand, free Mondstadt wine! Who am I to refuse! » Childe smirked, before pouring the wine on a glass.
« Pour some of that to me too. Worst that can happen I get to see my love again. » Signora shrugged, as she raised an empty glass.
« Pour some to me too, I can't wait to spite my mother with this! » Scaramouche grinned.
Then, all three took a sip of the wine, and found something strange about it.
« …Huh. A bit bitter, isn't it-» Childe commented, before he vomited on Scaramouche's face.
« You miserable- » Scaramouche was about to respond, before puking on Signora's face.
« PREPARE TO MEET YOUR MAKER-» Signora shouted, before she puked on Childe's face.
« WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS-» Childe exclaimed, before he, Scaramouche and Signora continued to puke uncontrollably.
Meanwhile, hidden in the letter that came along the package, was a hidden message, saying "That's for the machine parts, ya Ruskie FUCKS!"
Xxxxxxx
Many thanks to Inanna for many of the suggestions for this chapter.
I hope you enjoy this new chapter! Please review so I can know your opinion. I'm willing to accept suggestions for what is going to happen, so stay tuned! Also, remember to like and follow, if you want!
See you to the next update!