On a tranquil Inazuma day, a motor boat arrived at mock speed, jumping over the waves whilst blasting "Grease" by Frankie Valli at full volume, before slamming the side of said motorboat in a building and crushing an innocent bystander.
Coming out of the motorboat were copious amounts of empty alcohol bottles, followed by a nearly drunk Blitzo and a far more sober Moxxie.
« WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! FUCKING FINALLY! We're in Animestan! » Blitzo exclaimed.
« You tell me, boss! Still, didn't know you were so excited about the NOT-Japanese. » Moxxie noted.
« I mean, Hentai can be hot, but honestly I just enjoy the fresh air. We've been in Mondstadt and Liyue for so long I was getting sick of it. » Blitzo replied.
« So what's the job at hand? » Moxxie asked.
« Apparently tits katana here started an apartheid regime against demons and now we're lookin' for Beelzebub's boyfriend. » Blitzo replied.
« So demons aren't well seen here? Looks like we're gonna be more tactical here…» Moxxie commented.
« That's hilarious, Moxxie. » Blitzo laughed.
« Soooo…just plain blowing shit up? » Moxxie asked annoyed.
« You know me so well…» Blitzo purred, as he casually walked towards Inazuma city.
Inside the city, everyone looked shocked at the demon, as he casually strolled inside. « Hey fellas! Any one of ya ever seen this doggo around? » Blitzo asked, as he showed the picture of a Hellhound. It was a tall and muscular hellhound who sported a wolf-like appearance and a dark grey colour scheme. He had a dog-like muzzle with a large black nose and sharp teeth inside, a bushy tail with dark grey tips, and black claws protruding from his fingers and toes.
His fur was a few tones of grey, with his head and ears being coloured in a rather dark shade of grey, along with a black, tattoo-like fur-pattern shaped like a wolf's head on his left arm. He also had thick black eyebrows and eyes with dark grey upper-eyelids - his right eye sported a red sclera with a white iris, while his left was blind and had a red scar across it, which also made his left brow slit. Both his ears were slightly ripped.
He wore a ripped black tank top under a dark grey leather jacket with rips on the hem and the sleeves being ripped off, along with lighter-coloured lapels and red spikes on the front of the sleeves. He also wore a pair of ripped, dark grey knee-length shorts.
In response to Blitzo's question, everyone remained silent. « ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKERS! DO YOU SPEAK IT!?» Blitzo shouted angrily.
« Again. Sir, demons aren't welcome here. » Moxxie said with a deadpan expression.
« Oh, come on, everyone loves us! AND, we'll only cause them suffering if they start being dicks with us! » Blitzo replied.
« Oh, we're not scared of you. We just don't want to mess with the demon decree….» a citizen explained.
« …The "Demon decree"? » Blitzo asked.
« According to the mighty Shogun, you demons are, and I quote, "the furthest from Eternity." » the man explained.
« Wait, are you telling me this bitch's whole schtick is shit being the same all the time? » Blitzo asked.
« You DO realize she's one of the Seven, alongside being the most revered person in Inazuma, right? » the man asked.
« I mean, so is the femboy, but you don't see me giving him head. » Blitzo replied.
« You mean the Anemo Archon? » the man asked.
« Yup. » Blitzo replied.
« So you must be the IMPs, right? » the man asked.
«…Y'know, you LOOK like a Japanese NPC, but you sound like the fucking Riddler with all these questions… » Blitzo replied annoyed.
« In any case, if you are the legendary IMPs who dealt with the Stormterror Crisis and Osial's Vortex, you think it would be possible for you to speak with the Shogun on our behalf? Perhaps she can convince the Three Commissions to stop taxing us to oblivion…» the man requested.
« Wait, how do you know of our escapades? I though this was a heavily isolationist society…» Moxxie asked.
« There are those who bring us news of the world outside of Inazuma. » the man replied.
« Well, as long as the muneh is good, sure, we can have a little detour…» Blitzo shrugged.
« Uh, are you sure this is a good idea, boss? » Moxxie asked.
« And what, leave these people to starve? » Blitzo pointed out.
« …You know what, you're right. » Moxxie replied.
« Wait, are you just giving me the W like that? » Blitzo asked confused.
« I mean, come on. I'm sure that this Shogun lady CAN be reasonable! We just convince her that taxing people too much means they will die, therefore not being eternals, and that we demons ARE essentially immortal, therefore we can be eternal too! » Moxxie replied.
« Ya know we can die of old age, right? » Blitzo pointed out.
« Does she need to know? » Moxxie smirked.
« Well, with an argument like that, I'm sold! To the Tits Katana house! » Blitzo declared.
« I said nothing to you folks! » the man they were talking to exclaimed.
« Who the fuck even are you! » Blitzo replied.
Xxxxxxx
After a while, the two reached the residence of the Shogun, but as the two demons were walking towards the main gate, two guards arrived to stop them. « Halt! By order of the Demon decree, you're under arrest! »
« Easy there, fella. I got a permit. » Blitzo replied, as he handed one of the guards a book, which the guard casually opened. « …This is just an encyclopaedia with a hole in it-»
As the guard was about to finish that sentence, Blitzo punched him right in the face from the hole, before punching the other guard as well, knocking them down. « As I said, I had a permit. »
However, a few seconds later, a whole regiment of guards arrived, and surrounded the Imps. « Fellas! Fellas! C'mon, there's no need for all this shit! »
« It's because we're demons, isn't it? » Moxxie complained.
« …Yes. » the guards replied with a deadpan tone.
« Okay, that's fucking racist. » Moxxie shot back annoyed.
« Moxxie, they're racist, I'm racist, you're racist, we're ALL racist in this space of universe not even Mihoyo knows how it fucking looks like. » Blitzo replied.
« Look, point is, we just want to talk with the Shogun to convince her to lower the taxes so that her people can live eternally or whatever, check out on a friend of ours, and then we'll leave! » Moxxie explained.
« Leave them to me. » a feminine voice said, as it appeared from behind the guards.
It belonged to a woman with pale skin, purple eyes with light blue pupils, and long, dark violet hair that became lighter at the ends. She also had a beauty mark below her right eye.
Her long violet hair was braided. At the right side of her head was a fan-shaped hairpiece; it was adorned with two pale violet flowers that resembled balloon flowers.
Her outfit consisted of a shear dark purple bodysuit under an extremely short lavender kimono. The sleeves of her bodysuit completely covered her arms and terminated at golden rings on her middle fingers, partly covered her palms and the tops of her hands. The back and sleeves of her kimono were decorated with tomoe, flower, and wave patterns in shades of purple and gold. Her kimono was fastened with a crimson obi tied into a bow at her back. She wore dark purple thigh-high stockings with small diamond openings at the top and high-heeled sandals; her right ankle was adorned with two of the same flowers in her hair and on her kimono. Her nails were painted purple. A small red ribbon sat at her neck over her bodysuit, which covered her neck and shoulders but left open a window for her chest and upper back. There were also three objects on her outfit with the Electro symbol: a black pauldron on her left shoulder, a tasseled ornament at the front of her obi, and a fan-like ornament on her obi's bow.
« Ah, if it ain't tits katana herself. » Blitzo smirked, causing the Shogun to narrow her eyes angrily.
« Were you expecting us? » Moxxie asked.
« No. but your machine made quite a ruckus. » Raiden replied.
« What can I say, we're rebels. » Blitzo shrugged.
« Look, we just wanted to ask you to lower the taxes around here so that people can actually feed themselves. I mean I'm pretty sure I just saw a guy that looked like he just came out of a Japanese POW camp on the way here….» Moxxie explained. « That and looking for a guy. Then, we'll just leave! »
In response, lightning begun to crackle all around, terrifying the guards. Blitzo remained unfazed, and Moxxie was more worried than scared.
« Uh…are we doing this? Ya really wanna do this? » Blitzo raised an eyebrow.
« You are what is furthest from eternity. » Raiden replied.
« Then why don't you do like yer tits, and put your knife where your mouth is. » Blitzo smirked.
« Nothing would please me more….» Raiden replied with a low, dangerous tone.
« Uh, boss? You sure this is a good idea? » Moxxie asked concerned.
« Oh, come on, Mox! She's just a walking katana with tits! What is she gonna do to big dicked demons like us? » Blitzo smirked.
« So am I a big dicked demon now? » Moxxie asked annoyed.
« Indeed. Henceforth, thy have been dubbed a big dicked demon! NOW LET'S KICK THIS BITCH A-»
Xxxxxxx
1% of a microsecond later, the demons were in a raft drifting towards Liyue, badly hurt, with Blitzo having a katana stuck in his ass.
« …That. She could fucking do that. » Moxxie groaned in pain.
« I'm going to rape her whole legacy…» Blitzo growled angrily.
« I hate you so much. » Moxxie hissed.
« Well, at the very least, Jean is gonna suffer far more dealing with Klee. » Blitzo smirked, before hearing a notification from his phone.
It was Beelzebub, who had sent him a photo of her, Jean, Barbara, Klee, Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo and Razor in swimming suits, enjoying the summer in the Golden Apple Archipelago.
Blitzo simply smiled angrily and in pain at the image. « Must. Resist. Urge. To. Blow shit up. »
« Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy don't we just think about other things instead? L-like Chilli Churro exterminations! » Moxxie laughed nervously.
« Ya know what? You're right Mox! They're not the problem, they're just having fun! » Blitzo replied.
« Oh thank god…» Moxxie sighed in relief.
« Instead, we must focus on the actual problem: tits Katana! » Blitzo replied.
« Sir, she just kicked our ass harder than the woman who stranded us here! She shove a katana down your ass, for Satan sake! » Moxxie protested.
« And for that, I'll never forgive her! » Blitzo declared. « That, and Vortex is still stuck in animeland, and whilst Beelzebub is not gonna rape our ass for failing her request, I mean she's cool, I don't want to disappoint her. Do you!? »
« Yeah, me too. I mean, I love her songs! I wouldn't want to disappoint Michael Crawford….» Moxxie noted. « Still, given the fact that she hates demons with a passion, AND our bad first impression, it's gonna be hard going back in there…. »
« And for that, we must raise a mighty army! And I know the place where to search… » Blitzo smirked.
Xxxxxxx
At the Hazbin Hotel, Blitzo busted the main door dramatically, catching the attention of everyone inside. « Felicitations malefactors! I am endeavouring the invasion of archipelagos in the east for the search of individuals and the liberation of civilians! WHO WILL JOIN ME!?»
« Invading shit? Sounds fun, besides genociding Chilli Churros, we don't do a whole lot 'round here. » Angel shrugged.
« Wait, does that mean that, like, we're going to Japan or some shit? Count me in! » Cherri exclaimed.
« Well, let's see if the booze in Inazuma is cheaper than here. » Husk shrugged.
« It can be once we change the laws of the land! » Blitzo exclaimed.
« Count me in. » Husk smirked.
« A mean to experiment my machines on other creatures than Chilli Churros? You have my full support! » Sir Pentious declared.
« As much as I would love to cause SEETHING AGONY to innocent civilians, I'm afraid that miss Charlie here does not approve the massacre of the people of Inazuma! Therefore, I'm afraid that I will not participate in this endeavour! » Alastor exclaimed.
« Yeah! You're NOT going to invade Inazuma! » Vaggie protested.
« Oh, all right. I won't use the armada on the Japanese… » Sir Pentious pouted.
« Wait, why are you even listening to her? » Blitzo asked confused.
«…Rex Lapis scares me… » Pentious replied, as he pointed at Zhongli, the cries of the (not) innocents reasoning in the area.
«…Interested in adding Inazuma as another Liyue's Socialist Republic? » Blitzo proposed.
« Be thankful that I was foolish enough to retire the moment you fucks arrived. » Zhongli replied.
« If it makes you feel any better, we'll TRY not to kill tits katana. » Blitzo proposed.
« Look, I understand that Raiden Shogun position towards demons might not be positive, but I do believe that perhaps we shouldn't try to usurp the balance of power that has developed in Teyvat… » Charlie pointed out.
« Why not? » Blitzo asked.
« Inazuma is still an ally against the Fatui and the Abyss Order… » Shenhe pointed out.
« Oh, we kill those fuckers for a living. » Blitzo shot back. « Look, if you're not interested in joining the Molos Independence Liberation Front, just don't join! I'm sure we'll find plenty of people! »
« Wait, "MILF"? » Charlie asked disgusted.
« It's a work in progress. » Blitzo replied. « By the way, we're taking a room for the night. »
« Take the first to the left. It's on the house. » Vaggie replied, and so the two went to their room.
« Don't worry, Morax. I'm sure they won't find people joining their little madness, and it will be the end of that…» Charlie reassured the Archon.
« We can only hope so…» Zhongli sighed.
Xxxxxxx
The next day, Blitzo inspected his "mighty army." « All right, gentlemen! As you may know, you are all insane killing machines, but one thing is taking on an army of primitive Chilli Churros and a handful of Futa's, the other is invading a country to punish a God for the crimes of cringe, the vibes being bad, and many other crimes that would make the crimes of cringe and the vibes being bad small in comparison…»
« I can take on an army, but I doubt sex is an option in this invasion…» Angel shrugged.
« It really isn't… » Moxxie replied.
« As such, we need to recruit more people to the cause! And I just know where to begin! » Blitzo smirked.
« Wait, can't we just ask your other employs? » Husk asked.
« They're having a vacation. It's part of the contract, and I don't plan on breaking it any time soon… » Blitzo replied.
Xxxxxxx
In Mondstadt, at the Knight's headquarters….
« Whilst I do appreciate the fact that you're fighting for the betterment of the people of Inazuma…I think I'll have to pass…the Knights in general, as a matter of fact. Can't afford to damage relations with a nation worshipping one of the Seven, can we? » Lisa, who was in charge of the knights in Jean's absence, explained to Blitzo.
« Shit buckets of shit, off to a bad start…» Blitzo scratched the back of his head. « No matter! I shall find other individuals for this mission! »
Xxxxxxx
Next target: Venti
« Absolutely fucking not! » Venti protested.
« Oh, come on! Can we at least borrow your pet? » Blitzo pleaded.
« I will send you flying to space if you even try that! » Venti declared.
«The other Four Winds? » Blitzo asked.
« Just leave Raiden alone! » Venti shot back.
Xxxxxxx
Next target: Rosalia.
« Hmm….this is indeed conflicting….» Rosalia pondered.
« I can make it worth your while! » Blitzo exclaimed.
« Oh, I'm not going to join your little band of misfits, I'm just trying to figure out a stronger word for "no". » Rosalia replied.
Xxxxxxx
Next target: Fischl.
« Whilst the Immernachtreich forces are mighty, I myself find no reason for an unjustified invasion of the lands of Inazuma. » Fischl explained.
« She shove a katana in my fucking ass! » Blitzo shot back.
« Any grievances thy have with the one known as the Electro Archon are yours and yours alone. » Fischl replied.
« Okay, fuck this guys. We're going to Liyue. I'm sure that the Chinese HATE those guys…» Blitzo groaned in defeat.
Xxxxxxx
Next target: Ninnguang.
« Neither I nor anyone affiliated with the Qixing will aid you in your deranged quest. End of story. » Ninnguang hissed at the Imp.
« Yes mummy. » a terrified Blitzo replied.
« Don't call me that. »
« Yes ma'am. »
Xxxxxxx
Next target: Cloud Retainer.
« The Adepti shall not harm the lands of Inazuma unless they were foolish enough to attack Liyue. And one must warn you, we shall not be tricked by your so called "false-flag operations." » Cloud Retainer declared.
« Damn it! they saw through my most daring scheme! » Pentious declared.
« It wasn't that fucking hard. » Xiao replied.
« You didn't even use the correct flag! » Ganyu exclaimed.
« Wait, aren't the guys we're fighting Japanese? » Pentious asked.
« INAZUMANS, YOU FUCKTARD! IT'S INAZUMANS! » Blitzo grabbed the demon by the collar and shook him with the strength of 1000000000000000 men, plus two.
« What's the difference? » a mortified Sir Pentious asked.
« One worships strange women pulling swords out of their tits, the other worships war crimes! » Blitzo shot back.
« Shit. Silly me… » Pentious laughed nervously.
« I'd court marshal you if you weren't one of the few people who decided to back me up with this… » Blitzo groaned annoyed.
Xxxxxxx
Next target: Yun Jin
« Why, would you look at that! My whole schedule is full! That means I won't be able to join your ridiculous ide-I MEAN okay-ish plan? » Yun Jin laughed nervously.
« We're not gonna sell you the rights to make a play out of our adventure after this. » Blitzo groaned annoyed.
Xxxxxxx
Next target: Xingqiu.
« Sorry, but invasions means less time reading. That, and there's nothing chivalrous in invading innocent people. » Xingqiu shrugged.
« There is nothing innocent about that whore. » Blitzo shot back.
« But there is regarding the people of Inazuma itself. » Xingqiu noted.
Xxxxxxx
Next target: Chongyun.
« Why should I join you? The Electro Archon isn't an evil spirit…» Chongyun noted.
« Is she? » Blitzo asked ironically.
« Yeah. She's an Archon. She was even a friend of Rex Lapis. Does that mean Rex Lapis is an evil spirit? » Chongyun asked.
« Forget I said anything. »
Xxxxxxx
Next target: Baizhu.
« Ever heard of the Hippocratic Oath? » Baizhu asked with a deadpan expression.
« Look, can't you just serve as our medic? » Blitzo proposed.
« No, as a matter of fact. I want to keep my sanity. My sanity is a good thing. I will not destroy my fucking sanity over your little temper tantrum. » Baizhu replied.
Xxxxxxx
Next target: Hu Tao.
« You can all fuck right the hell off for free! BUT! I can make a good discount for the mentally disabled! » Hu Tao exclaimed in a cheeky tone.
« Choke on it. » Blitzo grumbled angrily.
Xxxxxxx
After a while, it was obvious that no-one wanted to join Blitzo's little adventure.
Defeated, the group just walked in Xiangling restaurant to drown their sorrow.
« Tough day, huh? » Xiangling raised an eyebrow.
« Just give us your strongest shit. » Blitzo groaned annoyed.
« This is a restaurant, not a bar. » Xiangling replied.
« Oh, don't worry. We'll grab a bite to eat too. We're gonna drown and overfeed our depression here. » Angel replied.
« By the way, I'm not interested in joining your little adventure. Seriously? Declaring war on an ARCHON? » Xiangling said in a deadpan tone.
« What's so wrong with that!?» Blitzo protested.
« You wanna know what happened to the last person who declared war on an Archon? » Xiangling asked rhetorically. « It was Osial. That and all the other gods that did not became Archons. »
« Oh, fuck off, lady. Is there NOBODY in this shitting planet who can help us here!?» Blitzo protested, before hearing a whistle.
It belonged to a young man, with platinum blond hair with a single orange-red streak on his right. He had red eyes with a yellow hue at the bottom.
His hair was tied in an off-centre ponytail to his right.
His outfit consisted of a grey short-sleeved kimono, a black haori coat, red hakama pants with maple leaf designs, and black sandals with dark red tights and black leg plating. Half of his haori coat was worn normally on his left arm, with a flowy orange sleeve decorated with orange and red maple leaves, while the other half was draped behind his waist and secured by an obi belt on top. He also wore a black and red scarf with gold accents, and a slanted belt that went under his right arm and over his left shoulder, where his Anemo Vision was pinned behind. The Vision was tied to a red tassel decoration and was near samurai shoulder plating.
He also black glove plates that protected the backs of his hands and his left forearm. His right hand was bandaged.
He was whistling on a leaf, before turning to the demons with a smirk. « I hear that you're demons that can…get things done…»
« That depends… » Blitzo replied intrigued.
« I need a crew to stop the oppression of the people of Inazuma. » the young man replied.
« We are a crew, but we need an army, and a way to get there… » Blitzo smirked.
« A way to get there and an army are amongst the few things I have…that and PTSD…» the young man replied, before blankly starring in the air.
« Dude? You good? » Blitzo snapped his fingers to get him back to reality.
« T-thoma? » the man said, having snapped back to reality.
« Nah, the name is Blitzo, the O is silent. » Blitzo replied.
« Yes. You are….» the man replied. « Anyway, where are my manners. The name is Kazuha. Me and captain Beidou have been…"convinced" to aid the Watatsumi Army against the oppression of the Shogun…»
« Well, with an argument like that, I'm sold! » Blitzo exclaimed.
« Wait, didn't Ninnguang said that anyone affiliated with the Qixing would not help us wage war on Inazuma? » Moxxie noted.
« Perhaps. But she never said anything about aiding OTHER groups, didn't she? » Kazuha smirked.
« You sly dog…» Angel smirked.
« Now, to be honest, in actuality Ninnguang commanded all affiliated with the Qixing to not interfere in any way in Inazuma, least to cause a diplomatic incident. But because Captain Beidou is…Captain Beidou, she decided to ignore her orders anyway. » Kazuha explained.
« I can work with that. » Blitzo shrugged.
Xxxxxxx
After a while, they arrived at Liyue's docks, where Beidou's ship was residing.
Standing on the docks overseeing all due preparations for a voyage was a woman with long, waist-length dark brown hair and fair skin. Her right eye was a deep ruby-coloured hue melting into gold. Her left eye was covered by a red eyepatch.
The top of her hair was tied up with an intricate gold hairpin with a pale blue tassel hanging from one end. Her fringe parted around her right eye, slightly covering her left. She had a black leotard underneath a bright red sleeveless qipao dress, with side slits going up to her hips and the chest area cut out. Over that, she wore a fur-lined red shawl around her shoulders. Her Vision hung at the left side of her waist. Additionally, she wore a pair of fingerless, elbow-length black gloves.
The woman suddenly turned, and greeted Kazuha. « Kazuha! I assume you're done with your matters, huh? »
« Indeed, Captain Beidou. I have found some people that might be interested in joining the Watatsumi Army. » Kazuha replied, pointing at the demons.
Beidou remained silent for a few seconds before replying. « Ah….that's…good…Although, it's a miracle that Ninnguang hasn't skinned me alive for supporting the resistance in Inazuma, mostly because the Watatsumi army is…subtle. Once these loose cannons enter the fray, there will be collaterals…»
« I know. It was also not my first idea to let them in the operation. But given how the war is going…I think we need the so called "nuclear option." » Kazuha sighed in defeat.
« Don't worry, we'll be "subtle." The only reason we weren't before is because we simply couldn't give a shit. » Blitzo casually replied.
« And now you do? » Beidou raised an eyebrow.
« You bet. Between me and tits katana, its personal. » Blitzo replied.
« Not so much for us, but we can play nice just for ya. » Angel replied.
« …That will do. Under one condition. » Beidou replied.
« Shoot. » Blitzo replied.
« If Ninnguang asks how you got there, keep me out of this. » Beidou replied. « When she's angry, that's one monster I can't slice in two! »
« I had enough rocks yeeted at my face to know the feeling… » Angel replied.
Xxxxxxx
And so, the group sailed for Watatsumi Island, and after a while, they arrived.
« THOUGHT YOU COULD DENY THIS DICK, HUH INAZUMA!? WELL, I'M BACK, BABY! » Blitzo declared, as he jumped down the ship. « Now, where'd be me army? »
« …Not your army, actually, but no matter. Follow me, we'll meet with General Garou. » Kazuha replied, as he guided the demons towards a tent.
All around were several demons in Watatsumi Army uniforms. « Plenty of our folks in here…»
« Many demons decided to bring the fight to the Shogun. » Kazuha explained. After a while, they reached the tent, and entered inside.
Inside were several people and two demons, one being the hellhound the Imps were looking for, also dressed in the Watatsumi Army uniform.
One of the humans was a woman with long, pale salmon pink hair and light indigo eyes with no pupil and a large white highlight at the top of her iris.
Her hair was styled in a high ponytail that divided itself in two at the top. Her hair was accessorized with an indigo ornament that resembled fins, each side curving around the top of her ponytail.
Her attire consisted of an off-the-shoulder navy-blue kimono-like coat with paler blue swirling accents that resembled waves at the bottom of her tamoto sleeves. She wore a low cut white-lilac bodysuit under her coat ending with shorts with a scalloped hem. Attached on her chest was a large indigo bow with her Hydro Vision mounted at the centre alongside two purple ribbons.
Her footwear consisted of geta sandals. Her accessories consisted of white-lilac half gloves with scalloped edges and a navy-blue and light lilac choker with turquoise gemstones hanging from the bottom.
The other was a man with fair skin, light orange-brown hair with a white section, and teal blue eyes. He had erect pointy ears that were white inside and a bushy tail with a white underside.
He wore an igote with shinobi shouzoku trousers, showing the bottom half of his torso while still covering up his legs and arms. The upper armour went around his neck, in a collar-like formation. At the front of it was a small gold paw print symbol, which had a bow hanging below it. He additionally wore grey pants adorned with white wave patterns and black open-toe boots. His Inazuman Geo Vision was seen on the upper-middle back of his armour. There was plating on his left shoulder and arm.
As for the demon, she was a tall, hot pink-skinned succubus demon with an hourglass figure wearing a Geisha dress. She sported a long, black-tipped spade-shaped tail and a pair of black-tipped horns on top of her head with black star designs on them; the left one taller than the right. She also had a pair of bat-like wings on her back, with black markings that resembled heart shapes.
Her eyes had white-outlined light pink irises, yellow sclera, slit pupils, long and thick eyelashes protruding from them, and a small heart-shaped beauty mark under the right eye. She also had long hair that had been tie into a shimada-style hair, coloured in ombre-white, with pink undertones from lighter to darker towards the tips, and a darker-coloured stripe across her bangs, with many flowers and a few hair pins.
On her right arm was a red heart tattoo with Blitzo's name on it that had been crossed out by a thick black "X". Her mouth sported black lips and small fangs inside.
« Lady Kokomi, General Gorou, Lady Verosika, these demons-» Kazuha begun, only to be interrupted by Blitzo.
« VEROSIKA! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE!?» Blitzo exclaimed.
« Obviously being far from a bitch that is almost worse than you. » Verosika shot back.
« You…you know each other? » Kazuha asked.
« Oh, yeah. I used to fuck her. » Blitzo casually replied.
« YOU DATED A POPSTAR!?» Moxxie exclaimed.
« Look, it's no big deal, okay? » Blitzo replied annoyed.
« Dude, she's Verosika FUCKING Mayday! Of course it's a big deal! » Cherri exclaimed.
« Anyway, how fucking awful to see you too…» Verosika greeted the demon.
« Whatever. well, since we're apparently going to work together to deal with the bitch, might as well. I'm sorry if I was…less than ideal towards you. » Blitzo shrugged.
« You mean when you fucking left me! » Verosika shot back.
« Yeah. That. Sure. Whatever. Not that it matters, 'cause you sure found a substitute. » Blitzo pointed at Beidou.
« Point taken. I mean, I'm essentially the reason she's on board with supporting these guys. » Verosika smirked.
« Uh…I think there's a misunderstanding here… » Kazuha commented.
« Oh, PU-lease! How do ya think she convinced yer boss to do all this shit! » Blitzo exclaimed.
« I had my ways…» Verosika purred.
Xxxxxxx
Flashback.
« If she gets her hands on Liyue, she'll poison your water supplies, burn down your crops, deliver a plague upon your houses, eat your children and shove swords down your women's vaginas! » Verosika exclaimed to a confused Beidou.
« That, and I heard that your boss is getting awfully cozy with the idea of "Eternity". Wouldn't want rock daddy to become like her, would you? » the hellhound added.
« Oh hell no, count me in. » Beidou replied.
Xxxxxxx
« On second thought, not my brightest decision. » Beidou sighed.
« Anyway, I apologize for my boss behaviour… » Moxxie apologised to the two humans.
« Hey, it's cool. Boss's sorry too. » the hellhound replied.
« Vortex, was it? » Moxxie asked.
« How's my Bee doin'? » Vortex asked.
« Good, lemme just text her real quick here…» Blitzo replied.
« Anyway, it is a pleasure to join forces to stop the oppression of the Shogun. » Moxxie continued.
« Well at least you're paying attention to us now after just casually bursting in our tent…» Gorou commented.
« Come now, general. Don't be rude to our guests… » Kokomi giggled.
« No matter. I presume you've heard that the goal of the resistance is to defeat the Shogun's Army and repeal the Vision Hunt Decree. » Gorou explained. « This is no easy task. Each who sets foot on the battlefield must be ready to sacrifice their life. Tell me, why do you wish to join us? The resistance cannot accept any who don't possess a warrior's will — you and I must be certain of your decision. »
« Your fucking whore of an Archon just shoved a sword down my fucking ass! » Blitzo shot back.
A short silence followed, interrupted by Verosika laughing her ass off. « HOLY FUCKING SHIT I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE! »
« …I can see why you want to join… On behalf of the resistance, welcome to our ranks. » a pale Gorou replied.
« So how's the war goin'? » Angel asked.
« We…we're holding on… » a nervous Kokomi replied.
« It's her way to say we got between jack and shit done. » Verosika replied.
« Eat the death Sashimi, whore. » Kokomi shot back.
« What? It's the fucking truth. » Verosika replied.
« Wait, the fuck do you mean ya got "between jack and shit done"? Kazuha, is this a fucking scam?! » Blitzo asked angrily.
« Not at all! It's just that…well..» Kazuha replied nervously.
« You're not gonna like this, man. » Vortex sighed.
Xxxxxxx
Five minutes later, all the way back in Liyue, the shrieks of pure, unrelenting rage coming out of Blitzo could be heard all the way to the Jade Chamber.
« …Oh for fuck sake! » Ninnguang cursed.
« What's the matter? » Mayberry asked.
« They reached Inazuma. » Ninnguang replied. « Well this is gonna be a fucking nightmare to explain to the Three Commissions…Assuming there's gonna be something left STANDING….»
Xxxxxxx
Back in Watatsumi island.
« I can't believe ya got me to join an armed force somehow more incompetent than the fucking Flavour knights! » Blitzo cursed out to Kazuha. « Funny I'm not seeing tits katana 'round here with all the eternity that is going on, 'cause ya have been at it for god only knows how many years, AND SHIT LOOKS THE FUCKING SAME! »
« What did you expect of us? To take on an entire Archon just like that!?» Gorou protested.
« Right. I'm taking executive control. We're turning this ship around, and we're doing it RIGHT NOW. » Blitzo replied.
« You're not in charge, and even if you were, what plan do you have to change the tide of the war that we haven't tried!? » Gorou shot back.
To this, Blitzo smirked evilly, pulling out a "Guerrilla for dummies" book. « Sabotage. »
Xxxxxxx
Many thanks to Inanna for many of the suggestions for this chapter.
I hope you enjoy this new chapter! Please review so I can know your opinion. I'm willing to accept suggestions for what is going to happen, so stay tuned! Also, remember to like and follow, if you want!
See you on the next update!