This series was originally titled "Benson & Rollins: A Season 20 Drabble Series" but I decided to change the title for the repost because every single chapter is way too long to be considered a drabble, lol. This series takes place during or after the episodes from the 20th season (it was a milestone season, so I wanted to do something to celebrate it).

Although Amanda's pregnancy is a running theme throughout this series, I wanted each one-shot to be unconnected to the others so that I could add my own details into each one and make them their own separate little stories. The plotline of the episodes are the same as they are in the show, but the relationship between Liv and Amanda is different in each chapter - sometimes they are close friends, sometimes they are romantically involved, sometimes there are deeper feelings but they are kept secret, and sometimes they don't get along. I switched up their relationship and the genres for each chapter to make it more challenging to write and (hopefully) more interesting to read. The name/number of the episode, the genre, and the rating are listed at the top of each chapter.

The first one-shot shows a different side of Olivia and Amanda's working relationship throughout the years. I started writing it before the deleted scene was released where Amanda tells Fin about her pregnancy, so that scene is not mentioned in this chapter. It was also written before the deleted scene with Olivia and Amanda was released, when Liv explains that she thought she had been pregnant (when she was much younger) but it turned out that she wasn't.

Episode: 20x01 & 20x02 ("Man Up" & "Man Down")

Genre: Hurt/comfort/friendship

Rating: T

Amanda stands in the doorway of Olivia's office, observing her slumped shoulders and bowed head as the lieutenant sits at her desk and finishes up the last of the paperwork on their latest case. Olivia looks exactly the way she herself feels; weary and disheveled and in desperate need of a rest after the heartbreaking week they have just endured. She knows the older woman is having some issues with Noah as well, from the bits and pieces of her personal life that Olivia has with her lately, and Amanda wants to make sure she is doing okay before they part ways for the weekend.

Fin and Carisi have already left the precinct, Amanda noticing both men throwing her curious glances throughout the week when they think she isn't paying attention, and is painfully aware of how hard it's becoming to hide her pregnancy as her belly grows rounder by the day. Olivia is the only person Amanda has told so far, still unsure of what to do as she grapples with one of the hardest decisions of her life, and is not at all eager to discuss such a private matter with any other member of the team, especially the males.

Amanda's brain is swirling with a multitude of complex thoughts and emotions as she steps fully into the office and shuts the door behind her, glad that the blinds on the windows are closed and will hide what she plans to do next. Olivia's head snaps up at the sound, the older woman looking dazed and fatigued, eyelids heavy and hair mussed as they regard each other across the room with the usual expectant stare.

"Hey, how's it going?" Olivia asks softly, tilting her head to the side as they gaze intently at one another and Amanda moves closer to the desk. "Are you heading out?"

"Yeah, soon," Amanda replies quietly, spearing Olivia with sharp blue eyes and wondering whether or not to mention the conversation they had shared a few days earlier, when she had admitted to having doubts about another baby and Olivia had responded in a surprising way. "I just wanted to stop in and see you first, though."

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired and bloated and so hungry, I think I could eat for hours and still not be full," she admits honestly, noticing the slight curve of Olivia's lips and the amusement and concern shining in her eyes. "But that's not why I'm here."

Olivia gives her a knowing look, those large dark orbs lingering on her face, as if assessing precisely what it is that she needs the most right now. "You came in here for a hug?"

"Well, yeah," Amanda answers as a slight blush of embarrassment heats her pale cheeks, even though this has been their regular routine for a long time now, but fully aware of how inappropriate it is to engage in this kind of behavior at work.

This strange sort of ritual between them had started quite unexpectedly a few years prior, after Olivia had given Amanda Dr. Lindstrom's card during Charles Patton's disastrous visit to New York, Amanda breaking down and dissolving into tears in her boss' office, unable to get herself under control. Olivia had merely gazed at her with empathy and compassion for a silent moment, before doing something that had shocked them both and holding her arms out to Amanda for a hug.

The gesture had been sweet and tentative, Olivia not pressuring her in any way and simply waiting patiently to see what she would do, Amanda's next actions stunning them even more as she had instantly stepped into the taller woman's embrace and laid her head on Olivia's shoulder, those strong arms closing around her body and her own arms wrapping around Olivia's back in response. They had held each other tightly in the office for several minutes as Amanda wept in anguish and despair, neither of them wanting to move and sever the intimate contact, and from that point on, it had become their thing; their way of connecting with another human being for comfort and support when their lives came crashing down and they needed someone who understood the heartbreaking circumstances in a way that most people were incapable of.

Amanda finds it amusing that Olivia hadn't been able to bring herself to ask if she was pregnant because of the possibility of overstepping her boundaries, when they have been engaging in this peculiar behavior for quite some time now. It's very odd to her that some things are still off limits if it involves speaking about them, but when it comes to the physical aspects of their association, they only seem to be growing closer. She doesn't know exactly what type of relationship this is; if they are behaving as best friends or if there is something much deeper going on here, because she has never dared to put a voice to what it is they share and ask the question aloud, preferring to internalize her inquiries.

They have each been content with the ways things are between them, one providing tender physical comfort for the other when it's needed, and sometimes both women seeking it at the same time, depending on what's happening in their personal lives and at the precinct. This is all Amanda wants right now; for Olivia to wrap her in those safe arms and soothe the fear and uncertainty that she has been experiencing with this pregnancy, and to soothe Olivia in return, her mind whirling with questions about the older woman's past that she doesn't have the courage to ask.

She watches as Olivia gets up from her chair and steps out from behind the desk, gesturing with one hand for her to move closer and Amanda obliging right away by tucking herself into the taller woman's side. She feels an immediate sense of relief, a loosening of the tight knot inside her chest, as one of Olivia's arms wrap around her shoulders and the other slides across her rib cage, fusing their bodies together as they walk to the couch and drop down onto the comfortable piece of furniture at the same time.

They relax back against the cushions in tandem, Amanda's head coming to rest on Olivia's shoulder and pleasant tingles prickling her skin when the brunette's fingers brush her protruding belly as they get settled. She hears a soft sigh escape from Olivia's mouth and guesses that her boss is just as relieved as she is to finally have some quiet time to indulge in their private habit; one that she is positive would not go over very well with Olivia's superiors if they caught wind of what goes on between lieutenant and detective behind closed doors.

It's not like they are engaging in sexual activity, although Amanda can admit to herself that she would definitely not be adverse to such a thing, but she is well aware that what they do together, either at the precinct or at one of their apartments, is pretty bizarre nonetheless. "Is this weird?" she blurts out, even though she already knows the answer, her lips quirking as she listens to Olivia's light chuckle.

"Cuddling on the couch in my office at our place of work? No, it's perfectly normal," the other woman snickers in response, Amanda grinning and pressing her face more firmly into Olivia's shoulder, inhaling the faint scents of perfume and shampoo. "But it's something that we both enjoy and it's no one else's business. And since it's been almost four years since we started doing this, why are you asking that question now?"

"I don't know," she answers with a shrug, running her fingers back and forth along the material of Olivia's blazer and reveling in the comfort of the curvy form snuggled against her. "I've just been thinking about a lot of things lately; pregnancies and ex-boyfriends and other stuff...stuff that concerns you. Everything seems so confusing. I can't seem to turn my brain off."

"I get that," Olivia answers softly, Amanda's eyelids fluttering shut when she feels a gentle kiss being pressed against her forehead. "I know you're wrestling with a really big decision right now and I want to remind you that I'll be here for you, no matter what you decide." There is a strained pause and a noticeable intake of breath from the older woman. "I can't seem to turn my brain off either."

"I'm sorry," Amanda murmurs in remorse as she tilts her head up from Olivia's shoulder to catch her eye. "I'm sorry I made you think of something that you regret. I know you don't want to talk about it but now it's my turn to remind you that I'm here for you too, no matter what."

"Thank you, Amanda, I appreciate that," Olivia says almost inaudibly, brown orbs staring off into the distance like she is lost in memories of the past.

"Are you okay, Liv?" Amanda asks gently, running a thumb under one of Olivia's eyes when she sees a tear clinging to her long lashes, the digit swiping along the purple bruise of fatigue that resides there. "I'm worried about you."

"I'm okay," Olivia assures her, although Amanda can detect the trace of a wobble in her tone and the concern she has for the other woman heightens even further. "You're the one we should be concentrating on right now. I'm worried about you."

"I'm alright." Amanda's voice is infused with a confidence that she doesn't quite feel, not knowing what the future holds for her or her little family, but right here in this moment, she knows that her words are true; that she is truly okay with Olivia by her side and the physical comfort and support that they give one another is enough to keep her going, even though they haven't really talked about anything.

No progress has been made with either of their issues; Amanda still doesn't know what she wants to do about the baby and Olivia hasn't elaborated on what she had hinted at in their conversation earlier in the week, but for now, none of that matters. She doesn't have to make a decision right this second and Olivia doesn't have to talk about something that she is obviously not ready to discuss, so Amanda simply concentrates on lending the older woman her strength and taking some in return, soaking up the tenderness and understanding that they so readily provide for each other.

"Thank you for doing this, Olivia," she whispers into her ear, breathing a sigh of contentment as her heavy eyelids droop shut again and she cuddles impossibly closer to the woman who has become so much more to her than just a boss; so grateful for this special connection that she can't imagine having with anyone else.