DISCLAIMER: I do not own Rizzoli & Isles nor any of the characters from the show. I am writing this purely for entertainment, not profit. Rizzoli and Isles are property of Tess Gerritsen and TNT.

Full disclaimers on Chapter 1

Chapter 11

Maura saw the day elapse in a whirlwind of gossip and noise in the precinct.

All indicated the Surgeon would live, and thus all focus turned to a judgment, and Maura and the technicians worked hard to provide every piece of evidence that was being requested as the prosecution was building the case.

The man had gone against one of their own, and that was extra fuel to get the bastard behind bars.

Maura had to carve an opportunity to speak to Korsak. She crossed paths with him when she went to the Division One Café to grab some coffee – despite how bad it was, she did need coffee and there was no time to go out.

"Detective Korsak?" Maura asked, seeing the dejected detective on the corner.

If anything, he seemed to have aged years since the previous day.

"Dr. Isles." He gave her a small smile, that didn't reach his eyes or softened his face.

"May I?" she asked, pointing to the chair in front of his on the small side table he was occupying.

"Be my guest." He pulled the chair to her, removing his glasses.

"I think congratulations are in order. You finally got him." Maura started.

"I should have killed the bastard." He said, and added after seeing Maura wincing at his words. "If you pardon my language."

"Catching him alive will allow for justice to be served and for him to be condemned and serve a sentence."

"Or might offer an opportunity for a defense attorney to get him acquitted…" Korsak sighed.

"We won't let them. My team and I have been providing all the evidence the prosecution has been asking for, and there is a lot…"

Korsak nodded, but didn't look very convinced.

"What is it, Vince?"

He shook his head, but didn't reply.

"You look troubled…"

"I am troubled, Doc. I should have gone with Jane. If I had, we might have avoided her being in that hospital bed… And we might have saved the two victims."

"Did you go see her?"

"I was there this morning with Internal Affairs. It was a shit show." He added again when she winced. "Sorry."

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"Internal Affairs questioned why Jane didn't wait for backup. So now, to add insult to injury, she not only feels guilty for having been hurt, but also for the two additional deaths."

"Is Internal Affairs accusing her of it?"

"No, they deemed she made a fair call considering all that we had found so far. But just them asking the question got her thinking. I could see it in her eyes…" He shook his head again.

"How was she?"

"In pain. Physical pain. Moral pain. Knowing that Hoyt is alive didn't help." He rubbed his face, tiredly. "You should stop by to visit her. You always keep a cool head, Doc. God knows she needs it now…"

"I will do that, Detective." Maura stood up. "And Korsak?"

"Yes." He raised his eyes at her.

"It was not your fault. You caught him. You saved her." Maura emphasized.

"I wish it was that easy, Doc… But thank you…" he nodded sadly at her.

Maura found herself at the hospital – checking her watch, it was past 10PM.

She steeled herself, and quietly opened the door to the room after the nurse authorized her. She didn't want to wake Jane up in case Jane was asleep.

But Jane was not asleep. Maura immediately saw the silvery trail of tears on her girlfriend's beautiful and weary face, despite the room having all lights dimmed to semi-darkness.

"Hi…" Maura offered in an almost whisper as she approached the bed, not wanting to spook Jane.

Jane still startled, raising her eyes to Maura.

Maura approached to peck Jane's lips, but Jane turned her face sideways.

Maura backed off.

"Jane?" she asked, her voice hurt.

"You should go, Maura." Jane's voice was strangled, and her eyes didn't meet Maura's.

"Why?" Maura could not recognize the sound of her own voice.

"I know you have been here, my mother told me. The doctor also told me you personally got him."

"I did. I was there while you were being examined, and he allowed me on the operating room. I was just not here when you were awake…"

Maura was confused.

"That is not the issue, Maura. I am really grateful for everything you did. But you really should go."

"I… I don't understand…" Maura frowned, her heart breaking.

"There was some divine reason for us not to have gone further, Maura." Jane swallowed hard, twice, and Maura knew she was struggling. "Whatever angels are up there, even if you don't believe in them, were protecting you from taking the fall with me."

"I… No… Jane…" Maura felt her voice and her thoughts faltering.

"Go, Maura. Please. Move on." Jane's voice sounded even more broken than Maura's.

"Jane…"

"Now, Maura." Jane turned her face away from Maura.

Maura felt herself rooted into place. This was a nightmare. All she wanted was to hug Jane, and make sure Jane understood she was not alone, that she wouldn't need to go through this alone. But Jane was shunning her.

"Please, Jane." Maura tried.

Jane's only reply was a whispered. "Goodbye, Maura."

Maura felt the hot tears burning her cheeks and blurring her view. She could not hold back a sob. Feeling the floor shifting below her, Maura turned on her heels, and left the room.

Jane heard the door close, and finally let her own tears roll. She had put herself in this situation. She was not only guilty for her useless hands, but for the death of two people that she might have been able to save. She was damned. And damaged goods. Maura didn't need to get anchored to her. Jane needed to cut her free, and better do that earlier rather than later. Jane already felt she had reached rock bottom. She would drag nobody else with her there.

Maura had no recollection on how she had gotten back to her car. She couldn't see anything, and felt her sobs were suffocating her. She calmed herself down enough to be able to drive back home. But, once there, she couldn't find peace. She kept trying to understand what she did wrong, why she was there while Jane was alone back in the hospital, why Jane would end things this way, and she couldn't find an explanation, and just felt her heart had been broken in a million pieces. Pain was all she could feel. She almost wished the pain was physical, for a medicine to be able to fix it. But this was the pain of loss, the loss of what they had, the loss of what could have been.