DISCLAIMER: I do not own Rizzoli & Isles nor any of the characters from the show. I am writing this purely for entertainment, not profit. Rizzoli and Isles are property of Tess Gerritsen and TNT.

Full disclaimers on Chapter 1

Chapter 19

"Have you already ordered?" Maura asked when she opened her eyes again.

"Not yet…" Jane smiled softly at her. "What would you like?"

"I will let you pick for both of us, how does that sound?" Maura had been so much in control in the past year, that the simple sensation of relaxing in the safety of Jane's company felt like heaven.

"As long as you don't complain about it being fattening or unhealthy." Jane teased. "Although you could use some unhealthy and fattening food." Jane added gently, to let Maura know she had noticed Maura had lost weight and acknowledge it had not been an easy year for her as well.

"Both of us could." Maura smiled back as her eyes met Jane's.

Jane waived for the waiter, and ordered their food.

"Do you come here often?" Jane asked Maura while the waiter left to get their order prepared.

"No… It is the first time… since I have been here with you…"

"May I ask why today?"

Maura swallowed hard, but honesty had always been her best policy.

"It was supposed to be my monthly tentative to move on…" Maura admitted.

Jane looked at her, and then her lips curled up in a smile.

"And how is that going so far?"

Maura chuckled, and shook her head, amused.

"It depends on how I look at it." Maura teased back.

"How so?"

"The failure of all moving on trials before was that none of them was you." Maura tilted her head, almost afraid of voicing out the implications.

Jane swallowed hard. Could Maura really be willing to get back with her? After more than a year of Jane putting her through all her bullshit? After all that Jane had said? After all that Jane had done – and failed to do?

Maura observed Jane's pensive face, and decided to keep the flirt. She was not ready for the disappointment that would likely top this, like every other interaction she had had with Jane since the nightmare with Hoyt began.

"And you? Have you been here often?"

"Nah… The last time I had been here was with you. I reserve this place for special occasions. I have not had many in this past year… But getting reinstated back to regular work duties felt like a good reason to celebrate." Jane admitted softly.

"It most certainly is, Jane. I don't think anyone can imagine how it feels to finally be able to resume your normal life."

Jane shrugged. "I wouldn't call it exactly normal… There were things that… that changed forever, you know? That cannot be changed back. That cannot be fixed. Cannot be erased. Cannot be forgotten." Jane took a longer sip of her wine, closing her eyes, as if trying to wipe a bitter taste from her mouth.

Maura waited until Jane deposited the glass back on the table, before she moved slowly to take Jane's hand in hers. She was surprised to find Jane was for the first time not wearing the compression gloves. And an electric shock ran through both of them as their hands touched for the first time in more than a year.

"It is the new normal, Jane. We are all in constant change. Don't torture yourself looking back. Look forward. There is so much hope ahead of you. Ahead of us…" Maura whispered softly.

Jane swallowed hard. Maura's words and her touch were a balm Jane had missed and craved for so long, that right now it was touching a chord in her in a way she had not expected.

They were interrupted by the waiter bringing in their order. It felt like a loss for both when they separated their hands.

They ate in companiable and light banter. The food was simple but delicious, exactly like Maura remembered it.

After their desert, they kept sipping from the last of the Montepulciano on their glasses.

Maura took advantage of a moment Jane had just placed the glass back on the table – Jane had been using both hands just to avoid any accident – and took Jane's hand on hers. She raised her eyes in a quiet question, and Jane responded with an almost imperceptible nod. That was okay. It was okay for Maura to hold Jane's hand.

Maura let her thumb gently caress the back of Jane's hand, not shying away from the still raised scar prominent right in the middle.

"How much does it hurt?" Maura asked softly.

"It is a dull pain. I don't even always remember it is there any longer…" Jane admitted. "But humid and cold days seem to flare it up."

Maura nodded, and Jane closed her eyes, reveling in that moment of peace after a year of chaos. To be fair, Maura had been the one constant in Jane's life, despite Jane's insistence in pushing her – and everyone else – away. This felt good. This felt right. She was where she was meant to be.

None of them wanted the night to end and real life to creep back in.

Maura knew she was not ready to say goodbye to Jane as they had done in the past year.

Jane felt as if she was at least partially human again.

So after Jane paid for dinner…

"I… I don't want you as my partner…" Jane stated, and watched as hurt and pain flashed across Maura's face, and as Maura dropped her hand as if Jane's were burning hers.

Jane's hand moved to cup Maura's chin and raised Maura's face to hers, noticing the tears pooled there.

"Would you accept to be my girlfriend?" Jane asked shily.

Maura looked at her, frowning, confused. She thought Jane was about to end everything once and for all with her first sentence, so this turn of events was unexpected and her brain was trying to catch up with her raging emotions.

"On one condition…" Maura managed to whisper back after a few moments that felt like an eternity.

"Which is…?"

"That you never again take a one-side decision on something that ripples effects to both of us…"

Jane watched as two fat tears rolled Maura's face.

"This past year… I learned the meaning of all romantic cliches, and I learned they are not cliches at all. I learned that loving someone, really loving someone, like I love you, hurts. A lot. I learned that feelings are not enough. I learned so many things that I wish I didn't have to learn. I do know I came stronger out of it, but I don't know if I have the strength to go through it again, Jane. I need to know you will not again decide alone on things that affect both of us so deeply…" Maura's voice and eyes were a desperate plea to Jane.

"I promise you." Jane vouched, her thumb catching the tear that had rolled on Maura's cheek.

"Girlfriends?" Maura smiled hesitantly at Jane, as her lips finally curled up in a smile.

"Girlfriends." Jane replied resolutely back, before leaning forward to kiss Maura.