Madame Masseuse
"Overwhelmed and Underprepared"
Twenty-two times. She'd been in a relationship with Inuyasha for a week and almost said I love you twenty-two times.
Policing herself around him was starting to become difficult and very exhausting. The only time her brain was capable of shutting up was when they were intimate, which, thankfully (for a multitude of reasons) was often. Inuyasha liked to say good morning, greet her after work, and send her off to sleep with an orgasm. Kagome had never felt this close to someone before. It scared her in the best of ways.
It had started as a private joke, keeping track of all the times she almost blurted out how she felt, the times she felt so overwhelmed with love she had to distract herself from admitting anything. Eventually, her private joke became a self-ridiculing habit, like how many times could she catch herself before she eventually fucked up? Because Inuyasha always brought her to orgasm, and in her deliriously sated state, the desire to open her mouth and say something was...intense. He also had this annoying habit of being unexpectedly sweet and rendering her speechless. Those moments of unforeseen loveliness only provoked the inscrutable urge she felt to say something.
One of these days, Kagome wasn't going to be able to stop herself.
The Holy Trifecta of Kagome Slowly Losing her Fucking Mind: fighting the desire to bite him, the craving to be bitten by him, and the urge to say I love you.
When the power struggle to confess her feelings became too much, Kagome resorted to one of two things: blow jobs or passionately hard kisses. If Inuyasha noticed her pattern—becoming quietly introspective, a flush on her face as she stared at him wordlessly, only to then drop to her knees or tug him to her lips—he had been gracious enough not to say anything.
Needless to say, Kagome had given Inuyasha a lot of head this past week.
The sex though!
The sex was everything. It was fun, it was playful, it was feverish and manic and so fulfilling. In many quiet moments that found her over the week, Kagome laughed at herself, sometimes outwardly. She couldn't believe she had worried it could be bad, that it wouldn't work for them. Sexual intimacy made what she had with Inuyasha so much better. She felt him in her skin, in her heart, in her breath. Arguably, even in her spirit, which would probably explain why she felt so empty when she went to work, leaving him at home.
Sexually, they were completely in tune. Their bodies spoke the same language, recognizing cues and identifying wants without verbal prompts. If her emotions felt confusing or crazed, Inuyasha's body made everything make sense. When sex was involved, their eyes and bodies conveyed more than their mouths could ever hope to. Kagome grew to understand what Inuyasha meant about sex and intimacy being codependent. Because what she had with him, felt for him, was in a whole other league now that they were regularly intimate.
The sex fostered an emotional closeness to Inuyasha that didn't exist before. A huge inflatable that lightened her soul took up residence inside her ribcage. Nothing felt more right than his arms, his mouth, his skin sliding against hers. It felt like twin flames, like a carnally emotional epiphany, like that first sip of coffee in the morning. It was an awakening. It wasn't just coming home, it was finding home.
Their relationship, Kagome discovered, had been a flavourless recipe missing some crucial ingredient. Who would have thought sex, the thing she'd been most scared of with Inuyasha, would turn out to be the missing ingredient? Because sex with Inuyasha (which was really, really good sex) didn't just criminally improve their relationship, but Kagome's life, her attitude, her self-confidence. She felt emboldened, empowered, and in control of her desires in a way she once craved and hoped for. She felt wanted. She felt desired. She felt cherished.
Inuyasha may not have said the words, but she felt loved.
Kagome felt love in those moments when sex became an emotional expression, the warmth and magnitude of their bond cocooning their embrace. Just like she had said the afternoon when they marked each other, sex had become an outlet where they shared and embodied their love. He didn't verbalize it, and God knows she didn't either, but their bodies found a way to say it all the same.
Sex with Inuyasha was the best goddamn pizza Kagome had ever had or could ever hope to have.
Despite the aching puffiness of Kagome's nether region on Saturday, they'd had their first hard fuck (i.e., make-up sex) after their argument about the Drop. Kagome had never experienced such gratifying anger management. What started as clumsy, brutal kisses turned into Inuyasha pounding into her from behind, her face buried in the duvet. The slaps of skin on skin had been loud, Kagome's muffled screams even louder. Going into Sunday, Kagome wore bruises on her buttocks from his ruthless thrusts, as well as on her hips from his fingers digging into her. She also yielded a sore neck from how hard Inuyasha yanked on her ponytail. In the moment, though, it had all been worth it—that was probably one of the most cathartic orgasms Kagome had ever had. A nice, long Epsom salt bath was thoroughly enjoyed on Sunday as a peace offering to her body for all she (and Inuyasha) had put it through.
Sunday night, they'd made love again, and it was the first time neither of them turned introspective afterwards. But the moment still felt big, like it always did. During the week after their fight, whenever they made love, Inuyasha kissed the Drop. It became his own little post-coital ritual that made Kagome's heart sing, even though neither of them acknowledged he did it.
Inuyasha decided to work from home all week so he could drive Kagome to and from work. It must have been some kind of honeymoon phase they were going through, because both of them were downright insatiable. No matter how much sex they had, it never felt like enough. No matter how much time they spent together, they were still eager to cram in every possible minute they could. Five hours was a restful night's sleep for them.
Leaving Inuyasha to go to work on Monday sucked, and Kagome liked her job. Eight hours apart and it felt like a torturous eternity. After a weekend spent naked and entangled, being separated from him felt wrong. Everything was off her entire workday, like she couldn't get her feet under her no matter how many times she tried to recentre. Knowing he was there to pick her up when her shift ended, she practically ran out of the building; she hadn't even bothered to put on her coat. Without a word in greeting, Kagome slid into the Mercedes and kissed Inuyasha for five minutes straight. Their lips parted with warm, loud laughter when they realized their kisses and panting breaths had fogged up the windows.
That was probably a new core memory for Kagome: the look on Inuyasha's face when their eyes met after she opened the car door, after they'd been apart all day. Relief. Happiness. Love. If there had ever been a non-sexual time Kagome felt loved by a man, it was in the way he looked at her that Monday afternoon, seated behind the steering wheel of his car.
Now if only he could tell her so she could say it back and put herself out of her damn misery.
Kagome had latched tightly to his hand the entire drive home. When they arrived back at the condo, they were all over each other during the elevator ride up to his place. Kagome was stroking him over his pants before he had his front door unlocked. They didn't even manage to leave the front entryway after they crossed the threshold; thankfully, the door automatically closed behind them. That was the first time Inuyasha fucked her up against a wall. In a flurry of wet kisses and heaving breaths, they were mostly dressed with only the essential equipment exposed to do the deed. Kagome became a fierce Wall Fuck advocate after that, to Inuyasha's apparent pleasure. Later that night, after dinner, she finally got her wish granted as it related to his living room windows.
Kagome had wanted to cuddle and watch a movie before bed. Standing in his living room, marveling at the first flakes of snow that looked like dust motes from this high up, Inuyasha had saddled up behind her and seemed to really like the nightdress she brought to wear to bed. Before Kagome knew any better, her panties were off, legs wider than her hips, and her nightgown bunched above her ass. With her palms against the glass, Inuyasha tore open a condom wrapper and slid inside her with a single, deep thrust. They went at it like that for no more than two minutes before he spun her, ripped the sleepdress off entirely, then plunged himself back inside as he lifted her. His palms cupped her ass as his rough kisses kept her back planted against the window. Her shoulders beat a steady rhythm against the glass until they both came together with a roaring cry. Kagome thought she would've been self-conscious of the exhibitionism, but the only part of the experience she didn't like was the initial goosebump-inducing frigidity of the cold glass on her naked back. Otherwise, Kagome liked the raunchiness of it. A lot.
It was a little ridiculous and totally crazy how much the two of them fucked over that one week. The only thing that forced them to pace themselves or slow down was Kagome being sore, but even that didn't stop them from bringing each other pleasure. A week of having Kagome naked and Inuyasha was an expert cartographer of her body. He made a game of it one night, calling out what kissing her in a certain spot would do, or claiming he could touch her a certain way to make her come in less than a minute. She hated him for his cocksure attitude, but holy shit, was it ever hot how skillfully he made her orgasm.
However, like Miroku said, credit where credit is due, Kagome had also become quite adept at eliciting Inuyasha's pleasure.
She knew exactly how to suck and squeeze Inuyasha to have him howling for her. She had the Mr. Taisho Voice, as Inuyasha called it, perfectly nailed down so that the simplest use had him hard for her. That had become her game—what was the weirdest thing she could say in that voice to get him hard? How few words could she use to provoke an erection? So far, the winning combination was Dinner's ready.
Her favourite discovery, however, was that time when he was getting close and she caressed his ears, which wrested an immediate orgasm from him. When Inuyasha told her he didn't know having his ears stroked could give him such an intense climax, Kagome felt like she was walking on air. A first. Kagome had given Inuyasha a first and it was one of the greatest little tidbits of knowledge she'd love forever. Suffice to say, she power-tripped a little over that.
Kagome happily explored every inch of Inuyasha's body that week except for two areas. The one, she avoided, because it felt a little taboo, but the most forbidden area was that bundle of pulsing nerves in his neck. It practically called to her every time they were intimate. Kagome would mindfully turn her face away to avoid doing something she'd regret.
To Kagome's surprise and lewd, albeit mortified, curiosity, no part of her was taboo to Inuyasha. He'd included a thorough licking of her rosebud that one time he ate her out and Kagome was red-faced afterwards when she reluctantly admitted to liking it. He hasn't done it since, though, like he was giving her space to come around to the idea.
Kissing Inuyasha, a classic for them, was as intoxicating as ever. Kagome had never worn so much lip chap in her entire life; her lips were achingly dry from all the friction. When Inuyasha complained about his own dry lips, but turned his nose up at the premise of putting anything on his mouth, Kagome got in the habit of adorning an extra thick layer just to then kiss him. It was hilarious, how long it took him to figure out what she was doing. Once he was onto her trickery, he made a show of being upset at first. Then he seemed to develop a habit of kissing her as soon as he saw her applying it. Sometimes, the clown he was, Inuyasha would lick it all off his lips just as an excuse to kiss her some more. Like he didn't realize kissing was a big part of the reason why they both needed lip chap in the first place.
Kagome was at least five minutes late to work every single day because it was near impossible to rip her mouth from his in the car, every kiss feeling like their last. At the end of every workday, as soon as Inuyasha's front door closed behind them, his hands were on her and fingers in her, often before they even found a soft surface to collapse upon. Inuyasha had her in positions and places she'd never been intimate before. He considered it all tame in the grand scheme of things, but things like hallway and shower sex were revolutionary to Kagome.
No matter how much time Kagome spent with Inuyasha it never felt like enough. She declined an extra shift on Friday even though that would have given her an overlapping shift with Sango. Given their conflicting schedules that week, Kagome hadn't seen her girlfriend at work to talk about Miroku's proposals, but the women had texted throughout the week about the tri-proposal, and they planned to catch up on Sunday—since Sango accepted Miroku's invitation to be his plus one to brunch. So, instead of working, Kagome opted to spend her Friday next to Inuyasha on the couch, reading while he worked. When Mr. Taisho had fifteen minutes to spare between client meetings, Kagome temporarily relocated his laptop to climb between his legs and suck him off. He exacted his revenge as soon as the meeting ended, tossing her e-reader elsewhere on the couch to tease and edge her so thoroughly she squirted all over his sectional. As they both took fabric cleaner to the couch after, the mortified red on Kagome's face had Inuyasha laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.
Over her Monday lunch break, Kagome had collected some of her belongings to bring to Inuyasha's, upgrading her weekender bag to a small traveling suitcase. That was the only time that week she went to her apartment. A part of her occasionally missed her space, her kitchen, but she also enjoyed the ample room in his California king for their vigorous activities. Inuyasha was a rambunctious lover; her queen bed, Kagome expected, would quickly feel too small. But Inuyasha was adamant that the following week he'd be the one to pack a bag and they'd spend the week at Kagome's. Not seeing each other every day was never an option.
The post-sex activities were just as lovely as the sex itself. Inuyasha loved to heckle Kagome about her icicle feet when they cuddled, but he was the one who would embrace her tightly and willingly draw her feet between his calves or thighs to warm her up. The intimate non-sexual behaviour was difficult to maintain since one or both of them eventually became aroused from the closeness and instigated the intimate sexual behaviour that was a hallmark of their first week together.
Peace, comfort, and joy like she'd never known always found Kagome in his arms. The steady rhythm of his heart beneath her cheek and her face tucked in against his neck, her head cradled by his chin, Kagome had found her happy place. Despite the huge expanse of mattress at Inuyasha's, Kagome always fell asleep and woke up connected to Inuyasha, whether that was in his arms, back to back, or their legs entwined like a strange letter V. Sometimes they were in the middle of the bed; usually, though, they were on his side of the bed.
That was another reason why Kagome loved Inuyasha. Without ever having talked about it, the right side of the bed became Kagome's—he'd given up his side of the bed for her.
There was a lot of loveliness like that over the week.
Tuesday night, while he had to take a work call after dinner, Kagome caught him opening an internet browser to look at rings. She hadn't been able to see what type of rings, but the fact he was even looking had a warmth singeing her belly. Her fingers had autonomously sought out the teardrop pendent on her chest, wrapping the crystal lovingly in the embrace of her palm. Surprisingly, there was minimal panicking when she realized what he was doing, which was a nice change. Calling out to him before she entered the living room, she withheld a giggle, watching how fast he closed those tabs on his laptop and spun to look over the seatback at her. Her giggle burst loose when she caught the guilty expression on his face.
Half a week into their relationship, Inuyasha nervously led Kagome into the bedroom after her afternoon shift. He revealed having cleared out a drawer for her and allotted her some hangers and closet space, declaring (very flustered) that living out of a suitcase is the worst. He had seemed apprehensive of her response, like he worried she'd think this moving too fast. Kagome had practically tackled him with gratitude and boisterous giggles. His pants hadn't been fully pulled down before she had him in her mouth to show him just how much she appreciated the gesture. Since their fight on Saturday, the topic or worry of things going too fast hadn't come up any other time.
Yes, things were going really well between them. Overall, it was an incredible week.
But as happy as Inuyasha made Kagome, there was one thing that was driving a slow wedge between them. One thing that was burrowing itself under Kagome's skin and festering inside her heart.
Inuyasha was intentionally withholding a truth from her, and no matter how she asked or begged—or even if she tried to employ the rules of their honesty game—Inuyasha wouldn't speak of it.
Three separate times that week, Kagome raised the topic of Inuyasha's apparent royalty. Yet, Inuyasha resolutely avoided talking to her about it, which cast a shadow over the otherwise flawless week.
The conversation each time seemed to follow the same pattern. She'd approach the topic haltingly. He'd start with a heavy sigh, then offer her an apology, saying he didn't mean to keep anything from her. He'd try to convince her to drop it by saying, "I promise I have a good reason, Kagome," but she'd pushback ever so slightly. Then, after a silence that drove Kagome crazy, he'd emphasize that "This isn't easy for me to talk about!" to which end she'd pushback just a little more. Then Kagome would fully retreat as soon as Inuyasha escalated because she was scared of another big fight with him.
Frustrated that he was keeping secrets, Kagome would give him space after the heated discussion. However, distance between them never felt natural, so Inuyasha was always quick to find her after a few minutes. He'd hold her in his arms, kiss her, and assure her he would tell her everything. The conversation always ended with him asking her to be patient with him.
Patient for what? Her mind would scream while she held him, let herself be held by him. What are you waiting for? Why can't you just tell me? What's the worst that could happen?
But Kagome never voiced those thoughts. She'd acquiesce, apologize for pushing the subject again, and try to let it go. She tried to be okay with being patient. She tried to convince herself that he had a good reason to withhold this truth from her. She tried to respect his request to give him time to open up to her about all of this.
The truth, though, is that not knowing this truth about Inuyasha was maddening.
Thursday afternoon, Inuyasha had picked up Kagome from work then dropped her off at the condo, saying he would be home later because Sesshoumaru needed to see him. Recalling Myoga's words about the two brothers sparring, Kagome teased him about that, but Inuyasha was avoidant, indirect, like he usually was when this subject came up. Kagome quickly dropped it.
She was already asleep by the time Inuyasha came home. The light sleeper she was, she woke up as soon as Inuyasha drew back the duvet to get into bed. When he realized she was awake, he sought out her body heat instantly, cradling her in his arms and apologizing for how long he was gone and for not explaining himself.
"I wanna tell you everything," he had said, his voice hoarse and tense. "I fuckin' hate feeling like this and keepin' shit from you. But I don't know how to do this."
She rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "Do what?"
"Talk about this. I wish I could just open my mouth and let it all come out, but...I can't."
"Why? Why can't you?" she asked tentatively.
He kissed her gently, his forehead joining with hers as he sighed. "'Cause I'm scared it's gonna be the reason you leave me."
That had scared her. "Inuyasha," she whispered tensely, clutching him in a firm hug. She tried to keep the fearful panic out of her voice. "I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart." She kissed him. That had been the nineteenth time she almost said I love you. "I'm sorry that whatever this is is such a burden for you. I'm sorry I keep bringing it up—I really don't mean to make things harder on you. I wish you felt comfortable to tell me whatever it is that's going on." She rubbed his ears between her thumb and forefingers, melding her body to his. "It's really hard not knowing," she admitted quietly. "I don't like knowing that there's something you're willingly keeping from me, but I know you have a reason for it, so I'll trust you. I do trust you. Just...promise me you won't keep me in the dark forever, okay? I'm not going anywhere," she repeated. "You're stuck with me, Inuyasha, I promise."
He'd been a chorus of "You're too good for me" and "Soon, I promise" before they made love, falling asleep afterwards in each others' arms.
That had been the last time the topic of Inuyasha's royal status came up between them. However, Kagome suspected it would rear its head again on Sunday given the company they'd keep.
The Sunday morning of Rin and Sesshoumaru's brunch arrived after a week that seemed short despite the days feeling long.
Kagome woke to the awareness of heat, affection, and coziness, as she did most mornings these days. Her back was surrounded in the embracing warmth of Inuyasha's chest and hips. Her legs entwined with his, she was wrapped securely in his arms. His palm firmly clasped her breast, which was how Inuyasha liked to sleep.
It was the morning of brunch and Kagome was already anxious, only having been awake for two minutes. Her intuition was telling her today was going to be...a lot.
There was a hint of excitement swirling in her stomach at being privy to a family event like the bridal party brunch and attending with Inuyasha. But Kagome was mostly anxious to see Rin to get her questions answered.
Yes, Inuyasha gave Kagome enough indication they weren't mates, but she knew there was something up with her relationship. Kagome had never had such awareness of someone else's teeth, or an eagerness to bite someone, or that level of awareness of someone else's pulse. If it wasn't a mate thing, was that a demon thing? There had to be an explanation for that, and Kagome was hopefully optimistic that Rin would have the answers. Kagome also was determined to ask Rin about the things Myoga had said about the Taisho monarchy. Kagome knew Sesshoumaru was the ruler of demons, but what was Inuyasha's role in all that? She hoped Rin could make Kagome feel less in the dark.
Her stomach ate away at itself with guilt, knowing she would be going behind Inuyasha's back by asking Rin.
What could the big deal possibly be though? Kagome had been wracking her head about it all weekend. She had herself convinced it either related to Kikyou or Inuyasha had some royal role to play that he presumed Kagome wouldn't like.
I don't need to know everything today, she thought, snuggling into the embrace of Inuyasha's forearm. I just need something to keep me sane. One piece of information. One piece of the puzzle and then I'll shut up and wait for Inuyasha to unveil the rest.
Doing her best to put her worries from her mind, Kagome yawned and stretched, a smile edging her mouth when she felt Inuyasha's hips begin to shuffle. His wakefulness grew, evidenced by the erection that began digging enthusiastically into her tailbone. Kagome fought back a wider smile.
"Good morning," she whispered, turning over to kiss him. When their lips parted, she climbed on top of him, settling his hardness between her legs. That was one of her favourite feelings: her breasts separating to feel the heat of his chest against her sternum. Kagome loved it when his heart beat directly against hers.
Inuyasha's sleepy smile had her heart thudding. He cupped her face. "You are seriously the best part of my morning."
Kagome softly kissed him before sitting back on her haunches to roll a condom onto him.
She'd elected to get the birth control shot; however, that required waiting until the end of her next menstrual cycle, which was due to show up next week. She and Inuyasha had agreed they'd suffer through condoms until then.
Positioning him at her entrance, Kagome slipped the girth of his head inside her before she lay back down, depressing her breasts against him. Inuyasha hissed with pleasure as she rolled her hips, taking him fully inside her.
"You're the best part of my day," she answered breathily. That was something she'd started doing midweek: trying to one-up the nice things he said. It seemed to drive Inuyasha crazy, which therefore made Kagome pettily enjoy it all the more and do it as often as possible.
Inuyasha's fingers slid along her jaw, drawing her in for a kiss. "You've been the best part of my week," he shot back, a lazy grin curling up his cheek. Kagome rolled her eyes at him. She took her vengeance by teasing his crown with a few dramatically slow rolls of her hips before slamming herself down to his base, hard. Inuyasha winced a groan. "You're the fuckin' worst," he seethed, raising his hips to thrust into her until he had her moaning.
"I thought I was the best?" She teased, sucking his bottom lip between her teeth.
Inuyasha rolled them so he was on top. He braced himself on his right arm, his left hand massaging her breast. The escalation of their panting breaths occupied the soundwaves between them for a moment. "You feelin' nervous about today?"
Kagome took a second to process that question, distracted by her slowly building orgasm. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "A little, yeah."
"Don't be," he said before kissing her deeply. When Inuyasha ended the kiss, he pulled away on straightened arms to watch where they joined. Kagome's gaze followed. He slipped out of her almost all the way, teasing her with his tip before sheathing himself entirely again. They both groaned loudly.
"Easier said than done," Kagome sighed, her hips a steady rhythm, rising up to meet his.
Inuyasha used his nose to prod Kagome's chin up, creating room for his mouth on her throat. A maddening pulse kicked to life beneath his lips and the assault of his hungry kisses. Kagome cupped his cheeks to force his mouth to hers instead.
How was the urge to be bitten already so intense when the day just friggin' started?
Kagome hadn't brought up the topic of biting again since the first time she asked him to bite her. She'd felt nothing but the burning slap of regret given his original refusal, and Kagome never wanted to feel that type of embarrassing anguish ever again. Unfortunately, that left her suffering silently through the desire all week.
Including right now, she realized, turning her face away from his neck when that pulsing zone came within sight. The urge to be bitten molded seamlessly with the manic urge to bite.
When Kagome clasped the teardrop charm in her fist and focused on her breathing instead of Inuyasha's throat, Inuyasha kissed the back of her hand. "Demons and some people may congratulate us on the Drop," he groaned slowly between gruff, measured breaths. "If they see it," he added.
"I'm—" she paused to catch her breath. The roll of Inuyasha's hips and pressure building inside her blinded her from the ability to form sentences for a moment. "I remember. I'm gonna wear a dress that'll hide it." She cupped his cheek, forcing him to meet her gaze. "I'm not ashamed or embarrassed or regretting anything, Inuyasha. But today isn't about us." She paused to kiss him. "I don't want the necklace to distract people from—"
"It's okay," he answered, capturing her lips once more in a deeper kiss. She moaned into the writhing motion of his lips as he pushed himself inside her roughly. His thumb snuck between them to rub her swollen bead, making her gasp. Inuyasha smirked against her mouth. "I know you're not—"
"I'm getting close, Inuyasha," Kagome whimpered, cutting him off.
He cooed a soft, rumbling moan as he smiled, his eyes bouncing between hers. "You feel so fuckin' good." His thumb swirled a faster cadence, her inhale skipping before his lips crashed to hers. "Come for me, darlin'," he whispered into her mouth. "I wanna feel that pussy milk every last drop outta me."
"Inu—" Kagome broke away from their kiss to cry out his name, but the hard thrust of his hips stole the remaining syllables away. As he started driving into her repeatedly, eager to make her come, Kagome hid her face against his shoulder.
The call of his pulse was loud. On the verge of ecstasy, Kagome hurried her face away from his neck just as every instinct in her body was screaming to open wide and bite down. Her nose tracing the firm line of his shoulder, Kagome placed kiss after open-mouthed kiss to the smooth peak.
For no logical reason other than she just could, Kagome started sucking his shoulder. He growled when she involved her teeth, which encouraged her to suck harder, to scrape his flesh, to nibble on him. Kagome keened her moans of pleasure into his skin as she sucked. A hickey, her brain seemed to conclude. She'd leave her mark in his skin as a hickey—maybe that would appease this monstrous compulsion to bite.
When Kagome came, the surge and intensity of her orgasm had her clenching her jaw, biting down. It wasn't until a few seconds after her orgasm, feeling herself shudder and pulse around him inside her, that Kagome noticed the coppery, metallic taste in her mouth.
First, her eyes widened. Then the panic rushed in alongside the dawning realization of what she'd done.
Kagome came and she had bit Inuyasha.
Horrified, Kagome's head recoiled to the pillow beneath her, giving his skin a wide berth. Her alarmed, wide eyes lingered on the obvious mark of her teeth in his shoulder. She couldn't look away from the steady flow of blood that pooled and dripped from the ten divots of her bite. Holy shit—it looked like teeth. It looked like she had honestly tried to take a fucking bite out of him!
"Oh fuck, Inuyasha!" she cried, both palms covering her mouth. Oh god, she could taste his blood on her teeth. How did she not realize she was biting him? "I—oh god, Inuyasha! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" Kagome's heart pounded, partially as she came down from her orgasm but mostly because of her worry, her upset for hurting Inuyasha, for marking him accidentally.
How the hell does someone do something like this accidentally? Her mind all but screamed.
A couple drips of blood landed on Kagome's bicep and she stared in horror at the mess the wound was beginning to make.
The fact he had yet to say anything had fear hollowing out Kagome's insides.
From the look on his face, it seemed like it also took Inuyasha a second to realize what had happened. When clarity hit him—or maybe it was the pain of the fucking wound Kagome had inflicted on him!—his movements were rushed, curt, reticent. He pulled out, his speed catching her off guard as the warmth of his body left her cold in the messy bedsheets. He was out of bed and off the mattress before Kagome could call his name. Without a word to her, he disappeared into his ensuite.
He had looked angry. That's all Kagome could think about. He had drawn himself from her as fast as hitting an eject button and he'd looked mad. The silent rage on his face was the only thing she could see when she closed her eyes, trying to catch her breath, trying not to escalate in her panic.
Kagome couldn't stop obsessing over the lingering flavour of his blood. She also couldn't stop thinking that this would be the reason they broke up. She hurt him. She loved Inuyasha so much and in a moment of weakness she'd given in to her stupid urges and hurt him! Tears pricked behind her eyes, her throat feeling thick and filmy with the impulse to cry.
She threw herself out of bed as soon as her mind started reflecting on the strange sweetness of his blood. She licked her teeth clean, feeling multiple different shades of mortification and regret. Inuyasha's blood was all she could think about when Kagome stumbled into the ensuite. She paused, words jumbling and tripping over each other in her throat. Dumbstruck for what she should say, she stood in the doorway, watching him swipe streaks of red across his skin as he inspected the wound with hesitant fingers.
Blood trickled down his bicep and Inuyasha grabbed a handful of tissues to temper the bleeding. When he realized he got blood on his white hand towel, he swore loudly, making Kagome flinch.
"Inuyasha," she began quietly, feeling stupid and small and so angry with herself for doing this. "I-I didn't mean to—"
"Fuck!" he swore again, both palms gripping the counter until his knuckles were white. His head hung low between protruding shoulder blades. "Fuck, Kagome," he hissed between clenched teeth. Then, in an even quieter, gruff timbre that she just heard, "What the fuck have you done?"
"I'm so sorry," she gasped, choking down a cry. One hand loitered above her heart, the other covered her mouth. All she could do was stand there helplessly and watch the wound bleed in his reflection. "I'm so—"
"What the fuck were you thinking, Kagome?" The tears she was desperately trying to hold back fell loose when he spun to face her after slapping the counter. His yell echoed throughout the cold, hard bathroom. The slap of his palm against the countertop pierced her straight in the heart. She'd never seen him so angry.
"I-I'm sorry," she sputtered, taking a step back from him. "I d-didn't mean—"
"Why the fuck did you bite me? How...how the fuck could you—?"
"I-it wasn't intentional!"
"Fuck!" he shouted, the echo startling Kagome. She jumped and took another step closer to the exit when he slammed his fist against the wall, shaking the mirror. "Fuck, Kagome! Fuck! Why did you—why'd you have to—Motherfucker!"
Holding a handful of tissues to the wound, he sidestepped her on the way out. He recoiled from her like he didn't want to touch her. When he wouldn't even look at her, Kagome wheezed a cry. She held her breath, trying to avoid falling apart in response to his fury. She was breathless, panicked as she watched Inuyasha climb into a pair of sweatpants and tear from his bedroom. The door was thrown open upon his exit, slamming and juddering on its hinges. She stood there alone, naked, and confused. The impulse to collapse into a ball and sob was hard to fight. But a loud voice in her head was telling her she had to fix this.
Wiping wave after wave of silent tears from her cheeks, Kagome wrapped herself in the robe she'd brought from her apartment. When her breathing seemed to finally regulate, she nervously left his bedroom and followed the sounds of Inuyasha in the kitchen.
From the way he banged the cupboards shut and slammed the pantry door closed, Kagome could tell he was livid.
She stood silently, nervously, before she licked her lips and tried to say, "Inu—"
"Not right now, Kagome."
Her feet paused just as she was about to take a step towards him. He blew out a large, loud exhale as he clasped his head in his hands. His fingers in his hair, he hunched into his palms with his elbows on the countertop. He looked like he was barely holding himself up. "Inuyasha, I'm—"
"Just—" He paused to take a deep breath. His tone sounded like he was barely keeping it together— "Just go get ready, Kagome. I...I need space right now."
She couldn't bear the thought of leaving him like this. "Inuya—"
"Don't, Kagome!" He spun on his heel to meet her gaze. A new wave of tears fell from her eyes, not from any sign of anger but from the obvious panic, sadness, and remorse he wore. Inuyasha didn't look mad anymore...he looked devastated.
"Inuyasha, please," she whispered, her soft voice turning into a hiccupping breath as the shame and remorse of what she'd done, and the confusion, hit her hard. Tears fell heavily onto her cheeks. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean..." She hiccupped a breath. "I-I know biting is a m-mate thing, and I'm so ashamed. I-I'm so sorry. I didn't think, Inuyasha! I-I didn't th-think and I—" She covered her face with her palms, crying into the heels of her hands. "Wh-what happens w-when non-mates bite? Is s-something gonna ha-happen now or—?" She sputtered a gasping cry into her hands. "Fuck, I-I-I'm so sorry! I-I d-di-didn't mean—"
Kagome turned and ran back to the bedroom before Inuyasha could say anything else to her. She sat on the edge of the bed, her elbows on her thighs, as she leaned into her hands and cried. Minute after minute passed and Inuyasha never came after her.
This was it. This was going to be how they broke up. Because Kagome was an idiot and couldn't control herself. She'd wanted to bite him all week. She'd been desperately craving him to bite her and he never did. He never even left hickeys on her throat, only her breasts or lower. She fucked up. That was all Kagome could think about as she sobbed into her hands. She had fucked things up irrevocably with Inuyasha after only one week.
How many times did Inuyasha have to tell her that biting was a mate thing? How many times did he have to hold it over her that they weren't mates? Was there some universal law she just broke by biting him? Would anything happen as a result of her fuck up?
What the hell was she supposed to do now? They had this stupid brunch in two hours! Kagome had promised Rin she'd go. But she certainly couldn't now. Not when she'd been invited as Inuyasha's plus one and Kagome had just fucked up her relationship with the groom's best man. She didn't deserve to go. She couldn't subject Inuyasha to being around her after what she'd just done.
Kagome hated that in her self-anger, she couldn't stop worrying about how her bailing at the last minute would look for Inuyasha. He'd been dumped by an ex-bridesmaid and then was going to show up alone after Rin had made a big deal in the group chat about Inuyasha bringing Kagome.
She had to go.
She had to.
She had to save face for Inuyasha.
Unless...unless Inuyasha didn't want her to go.
No, he expected her to. He had told her to go get ready.
A part of Kagome's heart was desperately clinging to the hope that they both just overreacted and that this stupid accident didn't mark the beginning of the end for them.
One step at a time, her tear-free internal voice spoke. Just get in the shower, calm down, and then talk to Inuyasha. She took a deep breath, stuttering her exhale as she tried to catch her breath. Unless he tells me he doesn't want me to go, the plan is, I'll go.
Oh god, what if he...what if we're no longer...
Not helpful, Kagome. Just...shower. One step at a time.
Kagome got herself into the ensuite bathroom on unsteady legs. Her tears subsided while she waited for the water to warm. Once she got into the glass shower, her breathing began to regulate normally. Her mind was a mess of tangled, pessimistic thoughts. As soon as she started rinsing shampoo from her hair, Kagome's brain recalled the image of her bloody teeth marks in his skin, and her tongue remembered the taste of his blood, and Kagome collapsed into shoulder-shaking sobs all over again.
He didn't come after her. Inuyasha always came after her. But he didn't this time.
She really had fucked up this time.
Kagome couldn't control her breaths. She sunk onto her haunches, burrowing her face in her hands and knees as the hot water pelted her in the back. She had no idea how long she stayed like that, her legs aching from the crouch, her eyes stinging from the intensity of her tears.
Eventually, she felt Inuyasha's callouses stroking the knobs in her back. He kissed her shoulder and Kagome turned to him, hugging him so tightly and so forcefully, he fell to his knees with Kagome attached to his neck.
"I-I'm s-so sorry!" she cried, digging her face into his neck. "I-I-I'm so s-s-sorry!"
I love you. I'm sorry, her mind chanted. I love you so much, I'm so sorry.
She squeezed him tighter. "How c-can I-I fix th-this?"
Please don't break up with me.
"Breathe, Kagome," he whispered into her wet hair. His voice sounded small and strangled beneath the steady stream of water coating their bodies. "I shouldn't've reacted—You didn't—I mean—Fuck, Kagome, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know you didn't—Fuck, baby, please stop crying. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry."
"I-I-I didn't m-mean to b-bi-bite you," she cried, tightening her arms until they shook. Inuyasha adjusted their positions so he sat on the base of the shower and Kagome straddled him. "I sh-sh-shouldn't—"
"Shh, Kagome, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm the one who overreacted. It surprised me and I reacted badly. I'm sorry, darlin'." He cradled the back of her head and rocked her in his arms.
"B-bu-but bi-biting is for m-ma—"
"It's okay," he cooed, drawing back her bangs, continuing to sway side to side as he kissed her forehead. "You don't gotta apologize. You did nothin' wrong. I should be the one—"
Kagome kissed him. She couldn't help herself. She was overwhelmed with a dozen different emotions. She was confused, demoralized, heartbroken, but she was so in love with him, so grateful he did end up coming for her. One second she was crying in his arms and the next thing she knew, she was taking him inside her. She began riding him frantically.
"K-Kagome," Inuyasha gasped, his jaw tight. He gripped his fingers in her hair, moaned into her cheek. "I'm not wearin' a—"
"I-I-I know," she hiccupped, whimpering when her clit chafed his pubic bone from the angle. "I j-just needed to f-feel—"
Inuyasha lifted her off him and carried her out of the bathroom. It didn't matter the shower was still running. It didn't matter they were both dripping wet, leaving a trail of water behind and beneath them. With that inhuman speed of his, Inuyasha draped Kagome on the mattress, covered himself with a latex shield, and thrust inside her until they were both groaning, crying out with pleasure. Kagome cried, clutching his neck, hanging off him. She was too ashamed to open her eyes for fear she'd catch sight of the wound she'd left on his shoulder.
They came together. Inuyasha braced himself on his forearms, his forehead against hers as they both breathed coarsely, their exhales loud and heartbeats chaotic. He brushed her bangs from her face and kissed her deeply.
"Are you okay?"
Kagome found it hard to meet his eye, but she did. "I will be." She took a deep breath and let it go. "Are...you still upset with me?"
"No," he answered quickly as a sigh, his eyes turning away, "I'm not." He exhaled loudly, rolling onto his side, his palm on her jaw. "I shouldn't've reacted the way I did. I was just...startled and surprised and confused about what happened, and—"
"I hurt you, Inuyasha," Kagome interrupted with deeply furrowed brows. "You had—have—every right to be upset with me."
"I'm not upset with you," he said, his gaze penetrating to the point Kagome had to look away. "You didn't deserve that reaction from me, Kagome. Yes, I was mad, but it wasn't at you."
She frowned at that. "Why else would you possibly be mad?"
Inuyasha sighed. "It...it's hard to explain."
"Please try," she whispered. "I feel like we went from all these open truths and honesties last week to hiding things from each other again." She made to sit up and Inuyasha retreated from her. Kagome sat on the edge of the bed, her head hung low.
Inuyasha's unmarred shoulder brushed hers as he sat next to her. His weight dimpled the mattress and Kagome leaned into him. "I thought I was doing us a favour by not explainin' things," he said reservedly. "The truth is...I've been a little bitch keepin' this shit from you, Kagome, 'cause I don't think you're gonna react well to what I have to say, and I'm scared I'm gonna lose you because of it. So, I haven't wanted to say anythin'." He laughed joylessly. "As if I can fuckin' put it off indefinitely." He sighed, kissing her shoulder. "I think my worries and ass-backwards thinking have just fucked things up between us." He laced his fingers with hers. "Let me explain, okay? Let's get through this stupid breakfast thing for my brother and Rin and I promise I'll explain everything."
"How many times do I have to tell you I'm not going anywhere, Inuyasha? You can't protect me from the truth any better than I can protect you from a reaction you're worried I'll have."
"I know," he exhaled, frustration in his tone. "I know—I haven't been fair to you, Kagome. I'm sorry."
She kissed his shoulder, shaking her head against his skin. She sighed, saying between kisses, "Thank you."
His brows ridged. "For what?"
"For coming after me. For agreeing to talk to me about stuff even though I know it's hard. Just...thank you."
Inuyasha huffed a disingenuous laugh and kissed the side of her head. "Thanks for stayin' with me."
Kagome snorted at him. "You don't have to thank me for that, Inuyasha. I'm with you because I—" love you— "want to be." She leaned forward to kiss his cheek. "I am sorry though," she sighed quietly, finally having the courage to see the ugly red mark she left on him. "I'm so sorry I...bit you." She met his gaze. "Does it hurt?"
He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed the side of her head. "Don't worry about it, Kagome. Honestly. I know you couldn't—" He shook his head, cleared his throat— "I know you didn't mean to do it. I'll be fine."
Kagome chewed her lip, curious what he was originally going to say before he changed course. "Can I at least get you something for it?"
"Nah, I'll be fine. I just gotta shower, clean it with some soap and it'll scab and be fine."
Kagome rested her head on his shoulder. "I hope it heals quickly so you don't have a scar to remind you of my stupidity."
Inuyasha laughed through his nose but didn't say anything. His kissed the crown of her head, squeezed their entwined fingers, and seemed content to sit quietly with her for a few heartbeats. Eventually, Kagome grew cold and self-conscious of the wet mess they'd made of his bed and carpet, but all Inuyasha seemed interested in was drawing Kagome back into the shower with him.
Their shower was mostly silent of conversation. They took turns washing each other, and Kagome was thorough in cleaning out the wound she inflicted on his shoulder. Inuyasha became hard when he lathered soap on Kagome's breasts. In response to his interest, when she noticed Inuyasha had restocked the small supply of condoms he left in the shower, she couldn't help but laugh. He quirked an eyebrow at her as she picked up a wrapper and opened it. Inuyasha beamed at her when she rolled it onto him.
That was the first time they made love in the shower. It certainly wasn't their first time having sex in the shower but no previous times had been this intense. While they caught their breath, Kagome kissed Inuyasha's forehead as he bowed his head to kiss the Drop that hung around her neck.
They exchanged small, intimate smiles as they wrapped up in the shower. Realizing the time, they were a flurry of activity, blow drying hair, dressing, Kagome applying makeup. By the time Kagome was rushing them out the door, they were already running ten minutes late. She couldn't understand how she seemed to care more about being late than Inuyasha did. Wasn't he the Best Man?
The car ride to the restaurant was calm with minimal conversation. They sat in comfortable silence, the road noise and faint musings from the radio the only background noise. Inuyasha reached across the console to intertwine his fingers with Kagome's, driving one-handed the entire way there.
When they parked and exited the vehicle, Inuyasha tugged on Kagome's hand to pull her against his chest. He cupped her cheek, his eyes darting between hers before he joined their lips for a gentle kiss that had her heart racing.
"Inuyasha," she chastised with a smile, rubbing her rosy pink lipstick from his mouth, "we're already running late."
"I know," he snorted, "I just needed to kiss you and tell you somethin' first." When she lifted an eyebrow to encourage this remark from him, he grinned widely. "You look beautiful."
Kagome blushed. "Th-thank you." She eyed the white collared button-up he wore beneath his trench coat. He smelled divine and Kagome felt a fluid heat swirl beneath her naval. "Is that what you wanted to tell me?"
"That, and I appreciate the shit outta you."
She scoffed a laugh, playing with the buttons on his coat. "Oh yeah? Why's that?"
"Because I—"
"Oh, good! You're here! Finally, Inuyasha!"
Kagome and Inuyasha both turned to find Miroku approaching them with widened arms. He was quite dashing in his violet dress shirt and black pants. He hugged Kagome—which had Inuyasha narrowing his eyes with a rumble of warning in his throat—and clasped Inuyasha on the shoulder in greeting.
"It's a breakfast, Miroku," Inuyasha scoffed, holding the front door open for Kagome. Miroku snuck in before Inuyasha made to follow his girlfriend. "Why the hell would it matter if we're runnin'—?"
"Bankotsu brought the Grand Adviser with him," Miroku interjected, leaning towards Inuyasha with a knowing expression. Inuyasha sighed hotly, irritation visible in his scowl. Kagome's gaze snapped back and forth between the two men. "He's been holed up with your brother since he got here. Apparently they've been asking after you."
"It's a fucking wedding party," Inuyasha groaned, massaging his temple. "Why the fuck would the Council wanna gather to—?"
"There's a good bit of gossip inside, I'm afraid," Miroku sighed, his gaze flashing to Kagome. "Rumour has it they've found—"
"Oh, Kagome!" Rin's interjection had the three adults pausing to watch her approach. The bride-to-be linked arms with Kagome in salutation and squeezed affectionately. "I'm so happy you're here! Inuyasha, I think Sesshoumaru is looking for you." She smiled at him in a way that looked more grimace than greeting. "You boys don't mind if I steal Kagome away, do you? No? Excellent. Enjoy your business talk!" Rin chortled facetiously, a hand raised in the air as she led Kagome away.
Kagome's head snapped over her shoulder to meet Inuyasha's eye. Despite the swirling confusion in her gut, she smiled at her boyfriend, who took a moment to realize that Kagome was being borrowed by his future sister. He rolled his eyes endearingly before he smiled back, giving Kagome a little wink in farewell. Then he turned his attention back to Miroku as Kagome turned to acknowledge Rin.
"It's aggravating as anything," Rin complained under her breath, leading Kagome down a hallway that was black siding with gooseneck sconce lights. "I'm proud of Sesshoumaru for the work he does, but just once I'd love if one of our parties could not become a work meeting. I mean, I get most of our groomsmen are on the Council, but still!"
"Work meeting?"
Rin rolled her eyes. "The Council has been convened because the Grand Adviser showed up; they've taken my fiancé hostage," she lamented with a pout. "I mean, I get there's news, I do. But they couldn't wait like...three hours for my party to be over? So inconsiderate."
Kagome swallowed. "Council?"
"Yes. The Demon Council. They're supposed to be Sesshoumaru's advisers but they're truthfully more his would-be handlers. The Grand Adviser, who's like the chief minister of the Council, showed up needing to discuss something as a collective. Apparently they couldn't get started without Inuyasha." She rolled her eyes again. "Sesshoumaru knows how much effort I put into planning our brunch. For everybody's sake, they better wrap it up fast. Especially now that you and Inuyasha are here. I'm hoping it doesn't take too long. They'll probably just have a couple questions, and Inuyasha can just tell them what's what, and then we can get this party underway!"
"The Council wanted to talk to Inuyasha?"
Rin nodded. "He'll sort it all out, you'll see." She smiled and squeezed Kagome's hand. "I'm sure if Inuyasha knew the Council was waiting for him he wouldn't have been late." She rolled her eyes affectionately. "That boy. You'd think he'd take being Right Hand of the Lord General more seriously. Plus, I'm of the opinion that it's bad form for the Best Man to be late. But maybe that's just me."
A lump wedged in Kagome's throat. "Why did the Council want to meet with Inu—?"
"Ah! Here we are! Privacy at last!"
When Rin held open the door to a single-stall washroom and led Kagome inside, Kagome felt hot with frustration and confusion. She watched Rin lock the door behind the two of them and then turn to Kagome with a smile that lit up her entire face.
"Rin, I'm really confused here. Why're we—?"
"Okay, so, how fresh is it? Did he go really deep? I thought Sesshoumaru practically bit my neck off but it was only like...four teeth or some embarrassingly small amount, apparently." Rin chuckled to herself. "Anyway, vitamin E oil is going to be your best friend to help with the healing. The scar obviously won't go away, since that's kinda the point, but I found vitamin E oil helped it be less...ugly, you know? Because some scars you see are just really, very ug—"
"Rin!" Kagome gripped the woman's hands tightly in her own. It was the only way Kagome thought to end Rin's rambling tirade. Kagome had felt nothing but confused and overwhelmed since she got here and she was starting to get a headache.
Apparently the Lord General's Demon Council was here? The head of the Council wanted to talk to Inuyasha? Miroku said there was a rumour? Rin said something about there being news?
Kagome had an aching feeling in her skin, her blood, her soul, about this.
"Can you start over? You totally lost me. What are you talking about? Why do I need vitamin E oil?"
Rin blinked at Kagome in confusion. Then her head dipped to take in Kagome's outfit. "You...you're wearing a turtleneck sweater dress," Rin said, as if that should clear up the confusion.
Kagome blinked back at the smaller woman. "Yeah...and?"
"Didn't—I thought—" She paused and cocked her head to the side as she appraised Kagome— "But Sesshoumaru told me about what Inuyasha had planned for your evening last week! It sounded so beautiful and romantic! Don't tell me Inuyasha didn't go through with it!"
Kagome was going to start demanding answers in a second if Rin didn't start being a little more transparent. "Didn't go through with what? He gave me the Drop—I accepted it." Kagome pulled the necklace out from underneath her turtleneck to hold it out to Rin. "Is that what you mean?"
"The Drop?" Rin recoiled like Kagome just spouted utter blasphemy. "But—but—what? But I thought the two of you are mates! I thought that might be why you're wearing a turtleneck like me—" Rin motioned to her own cream-coloured long sleeve turtleneck maxi dress— "to hide his mating bite!"
Kagome's heart sunk into her stomach. The clarity set in and shook hands with disappointment. "Oh!" Kagome looked away as she blushed. "Yeah, he and I, uh...yeah. Inuyasha and I aren't mates, Rin."
Rin blinked at her wildly. "But...you two are together!" She looked around the washroom, frazzled, like she'd find the answer to her whirling quandaries in the space around them. "Then...then why did the Grand Adviser show up to my brunch spouting the Council needed to meet with Inuyasha because they found her?"
"Found who?"
"Sesshoumaru thinks the Council used a seer."
"A seer? You mean a fortune teller?" Rin nodded. "Why? Who—" Kagome gulped, the sting of tears burned behind her eyes— "Rin, I don't understand!"
"They've been looking for Inuyasha's mate," Rin said, reaching for Kagome's hand, holding it tightly between hers. "The Council showed up because they want to talk to Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha. They think they may have found her."
Kagome couldn't breath. She felt light-headed and dizzy, but that didn't stop her mouth from moving. "Wh-what?"
Rin's face was the epitome of sympathy. "They think they may have found Inuyasha's mate."