Madame Masseuse
"Down the Rabbit Hole and Into the Demon Den"
Panic was an old friend. Kagome was no stranger to the familiar, constrictive embrace that raised her core temperature and left her disoriented. But this panic, this searing hot agony that crescendoed in her chest until it clamped her lungs and she was struggling through each breath...no, this panic was new.
A sense of delirium swept over her. Her skin prickled with a fine coat of sweat. Kagome shot a hand out against the cool tile wall to keep herself upright when a bout of dizziness struck. Whether it was the panic or the fact she'd yet to eat or drink anything this morning, she didn't know. All Kagome did know was that she was beginning to feel incredibly unwell: light-headed, nauseated, weak and unstable.
Found her. Found her. Found her.
Found Inuyasha's mate.
Kagome's world was falling apart in the wake of Rin's reveal.
The questions she had for Rin didn't matter anymore. It didn't matter that Kagome developed an obsession with Inuyasha's pulse and that fixation had triggered her to bite him an hour and a half ago. It didn't matter that Inuyasha was demon royalty and wanted to keep Kagome in the dark about it. None of that mattered. Because Kagome's questions were meant to determine if there was any possibility she was Inuyasha's mate.
Yet Inuyasha's mate had been located, and no one had flagged Kagome or tapped her on the shoulder to share the big news.
Kagome had no evidence she could be his mate other than her own daft hopefulness. There were no premonitions, no dreams to make her think her unconscious had been tapped by a Demon Seer—a long rumoured witch-type demon who surfed consciouses for information like an invasive Google search. Shutting her eyes as the walls closed in, Kagome realized there had been no divine intervention on her behalf. Nor would there be.
No, Inuyasha had a mate out in the world and she'd been found for him.
And it wasn't Kagome.
Because Kagome would've known. She would have known!
At the very least, Inuyasha would have told her. At the very, very least, he would never have declined biting her.
A hand covering her mouth, a dry, gasping sob strained from Kagome's throat. Without a word, Rin shot out her arms to swaddle Kagome in a compressing embrace. Panic like hands around Kagome's throat aborted both words and tears as Rin squeezed Kagome, cupped the back of her head in a supportive hold as Kagome could do nothing but blink into the void. Kagome was helpless to do anything but mentally spiral and choke on each hysteric inhale and strangled exhale.
She was probably breathing too fast but she couldn't help that.
She closed her eyes, focusing on Rin's bright floral scent to avoid falling apart immediately.
Even if the closeness Kagome shared with Inuyasha had been real, Kagome, Inuyasha's non-mate—his maybe-wife because of the Drop—could never compare to his mate. Even if he did love Kagome, there was no way this relationship could continue. Because Kagome realized she had only been an incidental detour in Inuyasha's life journey of finding his soul-bonded mate.
Did Inuyasha know? Was he aware the council had been looking for his mate? Had he been seeking out his mate this whole time?
Of course he had, Kagome conceded. Inuyasha was a man desperate for belonging in a divisive world to which he didn't feel he belonged. Of course he'd be eager to find and be with the individual who was universally destined to complete him. Who wouldn't wanna find their perfect partner, Kagome? he had said.
She felt like the world's biggest sucker. The bridal party—made up of mostly council members, as Rin had said—knew a seer had found Inuyasha's mate and were gossiping about it. And here Kagome was, showing up to brunch on Inuyasha's arm with the audacity to believe she belonged there. Maybe that's why Miroku braved the late morning chill to intercept them upon entry and Rin stole Kagome away before she'd even unzipped her coat. They were saving her from the embarrassment of publicly learning she wouldn't be Inuyasha's after this. Because Inuyasha's mate had been found, and Kagome wasn't meant to be his.
She was mortified. Everyone knew. Everyone knew she didn't belong here.
Kagome gasped another deep, hiccupping breath as she hid her face in Rin's shoulder and tightened her hold. She was so grateful for this woman who probably had no idea her hug was the only thing keeping Kagome from falling apart in this moment.
Had Inuyasha simply been biding his time with Kagome as an interim distraction?
Sweat beaded at her temple. Sour phlegm sat at the back of her throat. Her eyes stung with the whisper of tears, a gathering deluge that threatened to blow. Her head throbbed a ruthless pressure behind her eyes.
For the second time in her life, Kagome realized she'd become a placeholder.
She began to doubt everything Inuyasha had made her feel. She no longer trusted that he had meant any of it.
Placeholder, placeholder, placeholder.
Memories of him like whiplash in her mind—hailstorms, flat whites, truth games, flowers and silver sedans, kisses and other intimacies—pried open the dam to her tears. Kagome felt badly, crying into Rin's shoulder when the woman was practically a stranger. But unbridled doubt joined panic in a double helix that swirled and slithered around Kagome's vital organs. She couldn't breath.
She felt like a joke. Her weeklong relationship with Inuyasha felt like a joke. The Drop felt like the punchline of a bad joke. It was an anchor around her neck pulling her deeper into her heartbreak. Yet she couldn't help clutching the teardrop charm like it would help her weather the storm.
The council would inform Inuyasha they'd located his mate, and then Inuyasha would break up with Kagome to greet the woman he was supposed to be with forever. And he'd do it wearing Kagome's fucking teeth marks in his shoulder because Kagome had been reckless and unable to control herself.
How many times did Kagome have to be told they weren't mates? How stupid and worthlessly optimistic did she have to be to hope that maybe they were mates and Inuyasha just had a really good reason for denying it?
Nope. She was just an idiot. A hopeless idiot who was so desperate to be loved she fell for a man who wasn't meant to be hers. An ignorant, love-starved fool who denied the truth in the hope that, if she wished hard enough, the fiction could become true.
She had loved Inuyasha so much more than Hojo. It was only natural this crushing discovery shattered her so much more thoroughly than last time. Except Hojo's heartbreak had been fast and immediate, like a whip, like ripping off a band-aid. This heartbreak, the realization she would lose Inuyasha, was slow, like a poison that needed time to seep into her veins and marrow to stop her heart cold.
And then heartbreak became wrath.
Fury and anguish like a plague swarmed her, invaded all of Kagome's senses. She felt stifled, drowning in the intensity of her emotions. Kagome broke through Rin's embrace, stepping back as she gasped for breath. Her fingers shook with anger. Her blood boiled with vehement disbelief.
Inuyasha was supposed to be hers. She had wanted him to be hers.
Why couldn't she have him? Why didn't she deserve to keep the man she loved more than anything she'd ever known in this life?
It wasn't fair.
It wasn't fair!
Vengeful tears trickled down Kagome's cheeks and she wiped them away with a bitter breath and rash, quivering fingers. Thick, hot anger in her stomach worsened her nausea, and Kagome gagged once then covered her mouth with the back of her hand.
She wanted to collapse and never get up. Her body felt like it was being vacuum-packed from the inside. Her lungs burned for air. Her heart charged like a derailing train. She felt a sweeping ache of nothingness take root like a black hole that wanted to leave no trace of her behind.
If Kagome was smart, she would leave. She'd walk right around Rin and the look of pity she wore and head straight for the exit.
But Kagome wasn't a smart woman. Clearly. Because she willingly became another man's placeholder.
She was doomed to only ever be a memory. Never a mate.
No, Kagome didn't leave, if only for the reason her feet refused to move. It was as if her heart could pump only enough blood to keep her conscious. Kagome felt weak, faint, like her vision would go black around the edges if she moved too fast. But she needed her body to move. Kagome needed to flee this nightmare.
"I'm so sorry," Rin whispered, her voice strained, head down. "I honestly thought it was you. Sesshoumaru told me why the Grand Adviser was here, and then you two showed up and—" Rin stopped, shook her head. "I was excited," she admitted, her cheeks pink with shame. "I saw your outfit and thought—" She paused, swallowed— "I didn't mean to make anything worse. I'm sorry."
Kagome licked her lips, nausea tugging at her stomach from the chemical taste of her lipstick. She leaned back against the wall. The cool ceramic somewhat helped to stave off the desire to vomit.
"Why did you think we were mates?" Kagome's question broke the awkward silence like a scream.
Rin sighed. "Maybe a week or two before we met at the store, I overheard Inuyasha asking Sesshoumaru how he knew I was his mate. They were in Sesshoumaru's office in Nocturne Tower; I don't think they realized I could hear them." Rin forced a weak smile. "Then I met you at Maru's and your friend said you and Inuyasha were together, and I just assumed Inuyasha had found his mate and that you were—"
"I see." Kagome didn't want to hear anymore.
Rin's eyes shone with sympathy. "Even Sesshoumaru thought—" She paused to sigh again— "We thought your date was part of Inuyasha's plan to complete the bi—" Rin stopped herself, her cheeks flushing with remorse over what she was about to say. She licked her lips, clearly uncomfortable. She hugged herself. "The Drop is a huge deal though."
Kagome sputtered a sarcastic laugh. "Yeah," she scoffed, her forehead feeling clammy. Except the Drop didn't matter now that Inuyasha found his mate. Kagome knew she'd be giving Inuyasha back the necklace as soon as she saw him.
The sour coating had overtaken her throat; it made her saliva feel thick. Kagome couldn't get rid of it no matter how many times she swallowed. Her nausea was worsening. As was the tremor that rattled her knees. Kagome leaned her entire side against the bathroom wall.
"He...he clearly loves you very much," Rin continued, her tone thick with conviction. "I've never heard him talk about someone before the way he talks about you."
Kagome closed her eyes and chose not to respond.
Why hadn't she left yet?
If Inuyasha loved her, he would have told her. Just like how, if she were his mate, he would have told her that too.
But the mate thing wasn't true, so that probably also meant...
Kagome held her breath to hold back a sob that threatened to be her undoing. She opened her eyes, focusing on the defined V of Rin's eyebrows to avoid losing herself in her sorrow. Kagome caught herself squinting because the light hurt her eyes, antagonized her headache.
"Do you know if Inuyasha was looking for his mate?"
Who wouldn't wanna find their perfect partner, Kagome?
Rin looked uncomfortable, taking a few seconds before she eventually shook her head 'no'.
"Did he ask the Demon Council to find his mate?" Kagome felt a little badly interrogating the woman, but in her anger at the situation she just wanted answers. She needed this situation to make sense.
"I don't think so," Rin answered. "I don't know for sure though."
"Why would the Demon Council care about Inuyasha finding his mate then?"
Rin wrung her hands together. "How much do you know about the demon monarchy?"
"Practically nothing."
"Oh...um—" She clearly wasn't expecting that answer. "Inuyasha hasn't told you about—?"
"He's told me nothing." Kagome didn't hold back the bite in her words. She swallowed mouthful after mouthful of saliva, the urge to retch becoming almost unavoidable. She swiped at her brow, her bangs damp. She felt like queasiness on legs.
"O-okay. Well, there are traditions and beliefs around mating for the royal family. It-it makes sense that they were looking for her, actually." Rin looked like she wasn't jazzed to be the one having to explain this to Kagome. "I guess the basics are that, in demon society, the Lord General's immediate family is considered an unofficial ruling body, an extension of the monarchy. Yes, the Lord General is like...the emperor—" She huffed a curt laugh. "Funny story, I once referred to Sesshoumaru as a king and Myoga corrected me, saying the Lord General rules a demon empire, making it more fitting to call him an emperor. Apparently, king is a more appropriate title if he ruled over a country." Rin balked at the unenthusiastic expression her sidebar received from Kagome. She cleared her throat. "The takeaway of what I'm trying to say, I guess, is that the royal family has just as much power and authority. I like to think of it like a bunch of regents existing and operating alongside the primary ruler, except the Lord General has vetoing power. Since Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha are the last living Taishos, Inuyasha is the only member of the royal family. Well, other than me, I guess, once we're on the other side of the mating ceremony and wedding."
Rin paused as if giving Kagome an opportunity to ask questions. When Kagome didn't say anything, she continued. "The royal family finding and claiming their mates is seen as an extension of the Lord General's power." Rin avoided looking at Kagome as she said, "If a mate is a Universe-approved match, demons view mating as divine evidence of the monarch's right to rule. Like, you are the most powerful demon and you and your family've found your mates out of every other soul on the planet so therefore you deserve to rule—that kind of logic. Yeah, I understand from Myoga it's more important for the Lord General to find their mate, but it's still pretty important that no one in the family be mate-less. It's an image thing but it also means there's more people in power over the monarchy. As far as I know, demons aren't willing to recognize a partner or spouse who isn't a mate. Like, I would've just been a consort if Sesshoumaru and I weren't mates, but because we are, he says that'll make me their empress by right, if that makes sense."
"What would've happened if you became a consort and then he found his mate?"
Rin flinched at Kagome's question then looked away quickly. "Sesshoumaru said he wouldn't have done it."
Kagome didn't roll her eyes only for the reason being it would have hurt to do so. It seemed the pain caused by Inuyasha's truth-withholding had instilled in Kagome the belief that all men had the proclivity to lie when it suited them. "Said he wouldn't do what?"
Rin flushed. "It's not uncommon for demons to take more than one spouse."
Oh cool, maybe I could be Inuyasha's first wife.
Kagome's inside face of disgust quickly merged with an outward face of revulsion. Where the hell did that thought come from? Absolutely not! There was no way Kagome would ever consider sharing Inuyasha. He was supposed to have been hers!
Kagome frowned then averted her gaze from Rin. "And you would've been fine with that?"
Rin cleared her throat, her tone thickening with the slightest amount of caution to let Kagome know this wasn't a topic she should consider pushing. "He said he would've mated her to trigger the bond because his position requires that of him, but that he wouldn't be with his mate during my lifespan. I believed him." Rin snorted. "It's a moot concern anyway since I am his mate."
Kagome covered her face with her hands. All these emotions and the awfulness of how she was physically feeling was making her easily irritable. She realized she should apologize for likely offending Rin when she'd shown Kagome nothing but kindness, but when Kagome next opened her mouth, she heard herself say breathily, "All of demonkind will really be fine taking orders from a human empress?" Thankfully, her brain had phrased the question so it sounded more curious than curt.
Rin shrugged. Well, first she opened her mouth like she was about to say something, but then she quickly snapped her lips together and shrugged. Kagome narrowed her eyes at the woman suspiciously. It was obvious Rin wanted to say something but chose not to—for whatever reason.
Kagome sighed and let her head fall back against the wall. "So the council just wanted to find Inuyasha's mate to secure the Taishos more power." It wasn't a question. It was more of Kagome summarizing what she had learned in hopes that hearing it in her own voice would make it more palatable.
"Something like that." Rin continued avoiding Kagome's gaze and Kagome stared at her skeptically for a moment. She considered asking the woman what she was reluctant to say but Kagome ultimately decided she didn't care enough to ask.
Kagome stifled another strong urge to dry heave, squeezing her eyes as she took a deep breath. A bead of sweat trailed down the side of her face and Kagome pulled at her turtleneck. Her entire body felt clammy.
Maybe it was the devastation of losing the man she loved, maybe it was the brain fog that had rolled in, but before Kagome knew any better, she asked, "What happens when non-mates bite each other?" Kagome opened her eyes to look at Rin when the woman didn't respond immediately.
Rin blinked through a frown. "Nothing happens. Why? Did one of you—?"
"But I thought—I was given the impression that only mates are allowed to bite."
Rin recoiled and made a dubious expression before she shook her head. "Who told you that?"
"Inuyasha."
Rin's scowl deepened. "I don't know why he would've told you that. There're no rules governing biting, Kagome. Anybody is technically allowed to bite anybody." Rin's lips tightened like she was reining in a smile. "Although, I mean, most people don't because things like manners and self-restraint exist and biting someone randomly would probably constitute assault."
Kagome chewed the inside of her lip, her newfound confusion temporarily holding her devastation at bay. "Then...what's so significant about a mate's bite? Other than it being a visual marker of a claim?"
Rin smiled. "Did you know demon skin doesn't scar? 'Cause it doesn't, like at all. It was the weirdest thing for me to wrap my head around. One time, Inuyasha took a swipe at Sesshoumaru that should have maimed his arm but the next morning? Nothing. Not a trace of the wound. If I hadn't been the one to help Sesshoumaru staunch the bleeding right after it happened, I would've been convinced I made it up."
Kagome frowned. "What's your p—?"
"Demons bite each other all the time, Kagome. It's actually super common, whether they're fighting or—" Rin paused as she blushed— "for other reasons. Demon blood is restorative, and demons heal crazy fast. When bitten by a mate, though, and the mate's saliva enters the wound, it scars. A bite from a mate is the only way to leave a permanent mark on a demon." Rin huffed a laugh through her nose. "I've heard it happen before that demons didn't know they were mates until one or both of them bit each other and discovered they were scarred from it."
"So demons scar each other to claim their mate? Sounds kinda primitive to me."
Rin snorted a laugh at that. "A mating bite isn't just a claim, Kagome, it's the only way that demon mates can unify their souls. It's actually really neat because—Shit! Sorry, Kagome!" Rin flinched, exhaling loudly before hiding her face in her palms. "I'm an idiot—I shouldn't be talking about this! I'm so sorry!"
Kagome shrugged. "It is what it is, Rin. Neither of us can change a thing about who Inuyasha is—" and isn't— "mated to." Besides, this conversation is a nice distraction from being on the cusp of hurling. Kagome sighed. "Don't stop yourself on my account. What's neat about it?"
Rin made a face and Kagome responded with a hand gesture that encouraged the woman to speak. Rin folded her arms across her chest. "When souls unify, it's felt in the body as a pairing of their nervous systems. It's apparently not supposed to be painful but it wasn't a pleasant experience for me, but maybe that's because I'm human."
"So, your and Sesshoumaru's nervous systems are synced up?"
"Somewhat, yeah," Rin said nodding. "We think similarly, share heartbeat and breathing patterns, and our bodies mirror wound healing—which is a nice bonus for me as a human." Rin huffed a small laugh. "It's really weird honestly, 'cause I can tell when Sesshoumaru is working out with Inuyasha because I'll suddenly feel winded for no reason or my heart starts racing like I'm nervous."
Kagome nodded a few times. She clenched her teeth when she felt bile rise into her throat. When the gross sensation passed, she said, "Wow, all of that from just a bite, huh?"
Rin nodded.
"And mates can bite anywhere?"
"A bite from a mate will scar anywhere on the body, but The Mating Bite, I learned from Sesshoumaru, is biting this specific spot on the neck." Rin smiled softly, mostly to herself it seemed. "Do you know I looked all of this up when Sesshoumaru told me we were mates? I was worried I wouldn't bite him in the right spot." She rolled her eyes at herself self-effacingly.
As soon as Kagome heard the words specific spot on the neck her nausea worsened. Her vision waned and bordered with black for a few seconds before she caught herself at the tail-end of a dizzy spell. She lowered herself to the floor unsteadily, her knees wobbling until she was seated. Bending her legs, she leaned forward to rest her forehead against her kneecaps.
"Kagome, are you okay?" Rin's tone was laced with worry.
She nodded against her knees, trying not to think about the fact she was seated on a public washroom floor. "I'm feeling really light-headed right now," she said into the cashmere of her emerald green dress that covered her knees. "I just needed to sit. I'll be okay."
"Can I get you anything?"
Kagome shook her head. "Can you tell me more about that spot on the neck?"
Rin sighed, picked at her cuticles. "I feel badly talking to you about this."
"Don't. I genuinely want to know."
"Why?"
Kagome shrugged half-heartedly. She resented the glow of hopeful embers in her chest that she wished would just suffocate into wisps of smoke. How many times did she have to be beaten down for hoping she was Inuyasha's mate before she finally took the hint? But something was nagging at Kagome in the back of her mind. She needed to know. So, instead of telling Rin the truth of why Kagome wanted to know, she said instead, "I dunno. I'm discovering there's apparently a good amount of things Inuyasha intentionally kept from me. It's kinda nice finally knowing."
Rin exhaled loudly, drawing her lips to the side. She looked uncomfortable. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. None of this is your fault." Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, hoping that would help the thudding of this headache that was worsening every few minutes, Kagome said, "I wanna hear more about the mating bite. What did you find out when you looked into it?"
With Kagome's eyes being closed, she listened to the sounds of Rin fidgeting nervously for a few heartbeats before she spoke. "I only looked up mating in relation to humanoids—obviously. Sesshoumaru's implied it's a bit different for other demons, but for humanoid demons, at least, the mating bite has to be applied to a specific spot on the jugular where blood is the most concentrated. Demons refer to that area of the throat as mating veins; it's a collection of three pairs of veins that carry blood from the brain back to the heart. Not that it's ever been proven, but demons seem to think that is where the soul lives."
Kagome covered her eyes with her hands. The fluorescent lights were hurting even with her eyes closed.
"How did you find them? The mating veins?"
Rin huffed a laugh. "This'll sound really weird, but I didn't have to 'cause they found me." She laughed quietly at herself again. "I spent all this time doing this research only to realize in the moment that I knew exactly where to bite because Sesshoumaru's body just...showed me."
Kagome wiped sweat from her brow then opened her heavy eyelids to peer up at Rin. "How?"
"Okay, so you know how people say that when women spend a lot of time together their menstrual cycles sync up? Well, when mates start spending a lot of time together it triggers their bond. Their nervous systems begin to sync and the mating veins will pulse more prominently. Sesshoumaru said it's the soul's way of calling to its mate."
The mating veins will pulse more prominently.
Kagome's stomach flipped and she covered her mouth with a tepid, sweaty palm. "How—" Kagome swallowed down another gag— "How does the bond start? What makes the veins pulse like that?"
Rin blushed. "After Sesshoumaru told me we were mates, he bit my lip when we were kissing. I was mad at first," she said with a weak laugh, "because he'd never done anything like that before. But he said he needed to do it so he could get my blood in his system and his saliva in my blood." Rin hugged herself and adjusted her stance. "Because I'm human I couldn't just sense the mating veins like a demon apparently would've been able to. Sesshoumaru needed to manually start our bond so I could find the mating veins."
Dawning clarity like being hit by a car sent Kagome scurrying to her knees. She barely made it to the toilet before she started to vomit. Kagome should have felt embarrassed when Rin jumped to collect Kagome's hair and hold it in a ponytail behind her shoulders, but she didn't. She could only feel the whole-body squeeze of her stomach expelling its contents. She could only feel the whirl of manic thoughts that made themselves known in those lulls between heaves.
Kagome spent a few minutes spitting up thick saliva and bile before she choked out, "Inuyasha did that."
Rin's hold on Kagome's handmade ponytail tightened. "What?"
"Last week—" Kagome spat one more time before reaching for the handle to flush the toilet— "on our date. Inuyasha did that. He nipped the inside of my lip with one of his fangs."
That's my good girl, he had said afterwards. You liked it when I bit you. I can tell from the way your heart is poundin' and how nice and moist you smell for me.
Rin helped Kagome rise on trembling legs. Her body shook as Rin led her to the sink. Kagome wiped the tears from beneath her eyes before hunching over the porcelain pedestal sink. She held herself up with a white-knuckled grip. Kagome shut her eyes to the buzzing haze of the restroom lights.
She couldn't remember the last time she had a migraine. But that's what this felt like. A migraine after falling down several flights of stairs. Everything hurt. Even breathing started to cause a deep-seated ache in her chest.
Kagome leaned into her forearms against the sink, cupping water in her palm to bring to her mouth. Her gaze ran into Rin's worried frown in the mirror.
"Are you okay, Kagome? You're looking really pale."
"I'm not feeling great, honestly, no." Kagome wetted her hands and dabbed her forehead with the cool water. She wondered how Rin would feel if Kagome ripped her turtleneck dress off. Kagome's entire body was sweating. She felt way too warm. She felt like the heat was suffocating her.
When Kagome opened her eyes the next time, Rin was staring at her while she bit her lower lip thoughtfully. "Kagome...why did you wanna know about non-mates biting each other?"
Kagome snorted a laugh, cupping water with both hands and taking a drink. Her stomach lurched at the idea of drinking bathroom tap water but her throat hurt and she could still taste the sourness of— Her stomach heaved in warning and Kagome took a deep breath, trying to will her body to get its shit together.
"I bit his shoulder accidentally this morning."
"Accidentally?"
When Kagome's legs almost gave out on her, she allowed Rin to help her back to the floor. Kagome leaned her head against the wall and squeezed her eyes shut. She was so very dizzy—the room was spinning despite the fact she wasn't moving. The queasiness resurfaced like a vague seasickness.
"I was trying to avoid his neck," Kagome answered, her breathing loud and uneven. She swiped the back of her hand against her matted, wet bangs, pulled at her turtleneck. The dizziness had her mouth coating in saliva like she might throw up again. Coherent, logical thought felt difficult. Thoughts came and went like the darkness of waves at nighttime. "I wanted to bite his neck but I didn't want to so I aimed for his shoulder instead."
Rin crouched beside Kagome and held her hand between both of hers. "You wanted to bite his neck?" Kagome made to nod but stopped because it worsened the dizzying nausea. She was starting to feel out of it, almost like she was trying to fight off sleep. "How long have you wanted to do that?"
"Since we made out in his hallway." Tears stung her eyes before holding them back took too much effort so Kagome just let them fall. She sniffed back a sob. "I'm gonna miss him, Rin. I really liked kissing Inuyasha."
Rin swallowed audibly. "The hallway. Was that when he bit your lip?"
"Yeah," Kagome croaked, her cheeks ballooning as she held in another gag.
"What happened after you bit his shoulder this morning?"
Kagome covered her face with her hands. These lights were going to be the death of her, or at least the reason her head imploded from the pain. "He got mad at me."
"Did he bite you back?"
"He said no," Kagome answered idly, the disorientation swallowing her. It was taking all of her willpower not to collapse to the floor. "When I asked him to bite me, he said he wasn't going to. He said he wanted to but couldn't because biting is for mates." When Kagome started sliding over against the wall, Rin was quick to grab her shoulders. "His blood tasted good." Kagome giggled. "Does that mean I'm becoming a vampire, Rin?"
"Shit," Rin hissed under her breath, groaning as she straightened Kagome against the wall. She cupped Kagome's forehead, making the ill woman sigh happily from the embrace of her cool hands. "Kagome, listen to me, your boyfriend is an idiot."
Kagome snickered groggily. Her voice sounded like she had one foot in unconsciousness. "Yeah...he is. But I'm pretty sure I love him anyway."
Rin sighed heavily. "I think Inuyasha learned the lip biting thing from Sesshoumaru as a way of starting your bond." She cursed again, propping Kagome upright. "That moron probably didn't realize the depth of what he'd started by doing it though."
"Hm?" The black around the edges was creeping in faster.
"Your blood got in Inuyasha's system and his saliva got in your blood," Rin said in explanation, her hands on Kagome's shoulders. "You've wanted to bite his neck, Kagome, because Inuyasha triggered your bond. His mating veins have been calling out to you." Rin shook Kagome's shoulders gently to encourage her to open her eyes. Rin's face was blurry when Kagome pried them open not quite halfway. "How long have you been fighting it, Kagome? The pull?"
"All week," Kagome mumbled. "It's been hard. I like his neck."
"You stupid idiot, Inuyasha," Rin mumbled under her breath. "Kagome," she called gently, caressing Kagome's heated, flush cheeks to keep her eyes open, "you're gonna be fine, okay? Your body is in shock because your nervous system's going crazy from not completing the mating bond. I-I think it should pass. Shit, let me...let me call Sesshoumaru. He'll know. I'm not totally certain—"
"Th-that's silly," Kagome grumbled, almost incoherently. "Because that would mean I'm Inuyasha's mate."
"You are Inuyasha's mate!"
Kagome closed her eyes. Even smiling hurt but her body couldn't seem to help it. "Oh. Okay."
Her head throbbed when an uproar of voices in the hallway seemed to come out of nowhere. Kagome felt her body shifting as Rin laid her down on the floor, something lumpy underneath Kagome's head. Was that her purse? Who cared. Kagome sighed loudly, appreciating not having to hold her body upright any longer.
The shouts of voices yelling all at once beyond the door had Kagome wincing. "Too loud," Kagome whimpered, squeezing her eyes, turning her head away from the door as she covered her ears. Even holding up her arms felt strenuous.
"Where is she?"
"Inu—"
"Here," said a third voice.
"This bathroom? You saw her go in here with—?"
"She's with Rin, I think," voice number two said.
"Yeah," said man three, "but that was nearly—"
Banging on the door had Kagome moaning. She felt each thunderous knock rippling in her blood, echoing behind the thudding pulse in her head. Kagome was confident her skull was going to crack like an egg; there was too much pressure in her brain.
"Rin! Are you—?"
A breeze caressed Kagome's arm from Rin's swift movement. While Kagome's eyes were clenched shut, she heard the loud clack of the door unlocking and the wheeze of hinges.
"You have some nerve, Inuyasha!" Rin's voice was a tightly coiled whisper. Bless her heart for whispering. Kagome could have kissed her with gratitude. Everybody else was so loud. Too loud. How the hell was sound so painful?
"Where is she?"
"I have her. She'll be—"
"Let me in! I need to see her, Rin." Kagome heard shuffling feet and the groan of door hinges. Was Rin talking to him through a sliver of open door? Was she protecting Kagome from view with her body?
Aw, what a good friend.
"You don't think you've done enough?"
"Rin, c'mon. I need to talk to Kagome!"
Kagome, she thought dreamily, that's me. The non-mate turned mate. Who'd've thunk?
"She's not in any state to deal with you right now."
Inuyasha seemed to stall in response to that. "What the hell does that mean? Rin, let me in! Now! I know she's in there with you. Kagome!"
Inuyasha's booming call resonated off all the hard surfaces around Kagome and she winced, her eyes tightening. "Too loud," she croaked, her voice giving out. Her body felt slick with sweat. There were either bugs on her skin or she was so sweaty it was dripping. "Please don't talk so loud."
Inuyasha must've heard her because his next words sounded frantic. "Kagome! Are you okay?" Then to Rin, panicked, "What's wrong with her?"
"What's wrong with her? Do you have any idea what you've done, Inuyasha? You started the fucking bond and then left her to suffer the consequences of not seeing it through!"
"Wh-what?"
"Why haven't you done it yet? How could you do this to her, Inuyasha? How could you let this happen?"
Kagome recoiled, wanting to roll onto her side to get away from the angry woman and the loud, flustered man. But she couldn't move. She was pinned between nausea and a deep pain like even her bones hurt. Kagome's head was going to explode from the pain. Was her brain swelling? It felt like it. Her skull felt like a hat two sizes too small.
"I-I...I didn't realize—" He paused to sigh loudly, way too loudly— "It was the smallest pinprick of blood! I just wanted to see how my demon blood would respond to hers!" He sighed again, flustered, frantic, escalating. "It was the only way I could know for sure if she was—" He stopped, growled with frustration— "I didn't think it would instigate the Urge in her—I swear! I didn't realize humans could—"
"Sesshoumaru didn't tell you I felt the Urge? You didn't realize that your mate was fucking suffering for an entire week? Why couldn't you go through with it, Inuyasha? How could you do this to her? Why the hell have you not—?"
"Listen, I get your pissed at me, Rin! I deserve it. I'm a fuckin' idiot! I know! But this is between me and Kagome, alright? Now let me into the goddamn restroom!"
Rin scoffed bitterly. "She's is no state for a conversation right now, Inuyasha. God, I just laid her down, and—"
"How bad is it? Rin...I'm not fuckin' kidding." A silence followed the sounds of more shuffling feet before Kagome heard a thud like a fist hitting a doorframe—Bastards! Keep it down! Let a woman fucking die in peace!—then a low rumbling growl. "Let me in! You can't keep her from me!"
Rin snorted. "You gonna threaten your future sister, Inuyasha? I'm sure your brother would love to hear you talk to me like this."
"Don't fuckin' start with me, Rin! You think if the roles were reversed Sesshoumaru would tolerate bein' kept from you? You're lucky I haven't fuckin' barged right in and—"
"She deserves better than this, Inuyasha!"
"I know she does!" he roared. A pregnant pause followed and Kagome sighed at the peacefulness of it. "I know I've fucked up bad, Rin, but I need to see her. Please. Please don't keep my mate from me. If it was anyone but you doin' this, I'd—"
"Oh, so now you're willing to admit she's your mate?" Rin scoffed. "You should've seen her, Inuyasha, when she thought she wasn't your—" Rin paused. It sounded like she was trying to catch her breath. In a quieter, tense whisper she said, "It broke my heart. I can't imagine Sesshoumaru doing to me what you've done to her."
"Don't," Inuyasha spat. "I already feel awful. You don't need to make it any fuckin' worse."
The urge to vomit rose up Kagome's torso, and she rolled to the side despite the scream of her body. As Kagome fought back a gag, she choked on a gasping breath. "Hey, uh, you guys? I think I'm gonna—"
Kagome threw up on the floor. Her body exhausted itself ejecting a small amount of stomach acid, seeing that she'd already purged all of her stomach's contents earlier. When Kagome fainted to the floor in a sweating, delusional state, she felt herself be lifted by strong arms edged in a haze of silver. She turned her face into the scent of comfort and the heat that somehow made the burning of her body turn into shivers of freezing cold.
"I got you, darlin'," Inuyasha whispered, his lips on the crown of her head. "I'm takin' you home, okay?"
Kagome burrowed her face in Inuyasha's chest. Her body ached with every one of his steps. She struggled to open her eyes. Was this real? Had Inuyasha actually come for her? She needed to see him to believe it. Peering out between her lashes, she tried to make sense of a smudge of colours that looked kind of like her makeup hues on crisp, white fabric. The blurry visual greeted her before the pain had her shutting her eyes abruptly with a creaking groan. Inuyasha's arms tightened around her thighs and shoulders. She shivered and the blanket covering her was dragged upwards until it brushed her chin. The blanket had...buttons? What a strange blanket. Either way, it smelled like him, like home. It was a really nice distraction, actually.
When it felt like they were going up—down?—stairs, Kagome cried out with a wince. Then his footsteps leveled out again and Kagome settled in his arms, her face pressed into his chest once more.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so fuckin' sorry."
Kagome hummed in response. It hurt, but she wanted him to know she heard his airtight whisper. Unless she dreamed it? She usually ran into Inuyasha in her dreams. Kagome wouldn't have been upset if she was sleeping. Sleep sounded nice, painless.
Then she felt the slow patter of drops of water against her scalp. Her first thought was that it was raining, but they were still inside. She could tell from the murmuring rumble of a crowd in the distance. Or maybe those were cars. A parking lot? Okay, maybe it was rain. But then she heard Inuyasha's tight, shallow breath, and Kagome had a flittering suspicion of what the water could be. But that thought quickly faded into the desire to sleep. The blackness was growing larger, beckoning her in, embracing her like the arms that held her securely against a walking furnace.
She didn't know why, but something was telling her she was supposed to mad. But holding onto anger was hard, like opening up a jar with greasy fingers. The sensation of the occasional drop of water in her hair was oddly therapeutic. It had Kagome sighing and nuzzling her face into the warm breadth of chest that was quite effective at blocking out the offensive light that hurt her eyes.
He came for her. Just like he always did.
She was supposed to be mad. But she only felt relief like her lungs bottomed out after exhaling a long held breath.
Love. That's what this feeling was inside her chest that contested the agony trying to claim the rest of her body.
She opened her mouth to speak. Thank You. I Love You. She wasn't quite sure what phrase or combination of words she'd be capable of producing right now.
But then another two waterdrops tickled the seam of her hair, and Inuyasha sniffed.
And then everything went black.