Madame Masseuse

by princesspvmpernickel

Kagome Higurashi is a recently single massage therapist at "Madame's", a luxury spa in downtown Tokyo where client anonymity is the number one priority. Needing a distraction, Kagome picks up a shift the same night the spa is hosting a bachelor party. Just when Kagome wants nothing to do with men, there's a certain client she can't get out of her mind or keep her hands off.

28. Then The Darkness Became Harsh

Madame Masseuse

"Then The Darkness Became Harsh"

---

Kagome dreamt of lips that tasted of spearmint and finely ground coffee—a mouth so decadent that craving it became a part of her identity. She knew nothing but urgency and appetite until a token of solace arrived in the form of a memory: an incisor puncturing the delicate flesh just inside her lip. She perceived relief like a waterfall, cascading, roaring, falling, as she envisioned white gold wedding rings to match the platinum necklace she wore with the beautiful teardrop crystal She dreamt of amber, gold, and ochre, and a love so hot it burned to the touch.

Her dreams became a retreat, like watching a replay of an out of body experience. The blackness echoed with a myriad of whispers describing love without touching it. Quivering, sweat-glazed bodies entangled as an overwhelming sensation swallowed her whole. Then, pictures and comfort faded to a cold, deep black.

Darkness lingered while she held consciousness of her body, the contracting of laboured breaths, the growing and narrowing of blood vessels, the tremor of her breaking heart. Eventually, like the respite of a cloud passing an unyielding afternoon sun, relief overcame her.

Relief became rage. A smoldering fire tore across her body in a rage so hot it turned her love to steam. Embers in her soul flickered like they considered going out.

But then a sharp pain radiated throughout her body, echoing from a trigger point in her shoulder. Black became red became pink became white. No, not white. Silver.

She ebbed and surged in softness despite the branching ache from her northwestern-most point. The pain called to her, beckoning, persisting.

Then there was only an awareness of words. Words hung before the blackness-turned-silver like the multiple curtains adorning a stage.

Your boyfriend is an idiot.

Inuyasha triggered your bond.

Your body is in shock because your nervous system's going crazy from not completing the mating bond.

You are Inuyasha's mate.

Rage danced with love. Spinning, twirling, stuttering like two left-footed, rhythm-intolerant imbeciles fighting each other to lead. Conflict ensued. Then peace. More relief.

But, as was her tendency, Kagome loved in spite of all else. Even the remnants of smoky tendrils were enough to draw her back.

Then the darkness became gentle.

---

When Kagome came to, the first thing she noticed was how much her entire body hurt. For a moment, she tried to remember the car accident until she remembered there wasn't a car accident. She recalled Rin's words about Kagome's nervous system going crazy, and Kagome started to cry.

Because the reason she had a wonky nervous system was thanks to Inuyasha.

Because Inuyasha had started to mate her.

Because Kagome is Inuyasha's mate.

Tears were inevitable as Kagome felt emotionally steamrolled. Her head was a hammering haze that complemented the throbbing ache of her body. She couldn't recall the last time her mouth was this parched.

I guess the universe heard me, she thought to herself as tears of relief fell steadily down her cheeks, tickling in their descent. He's my mate. He's mine. Thank god...Inuyasha is mine.

There was an acidic heat in her stomach and an acrid swell in her chest that Kagome couldn't understand in contrast to this beautiful lightness from knowing she and Inuyasha were mates. The lightness brought relief, it brought calm. The lightness was easier on her battered body so she honed in on that, because the heat and the swell threatened pain. Kagome already felt too much pain, so she pretended neither sensation crept in the shadows of her mollified heart.

Her closed eyes twitched as Inuyasha tugged her into an embrace that hurt yet overwhelmed her with love. Kagome tried to smile, focusing on the warmth of his arms, the heat of his breath in her hair. The light beyond her eyes hurt but it was a dimmer pain now than compared to previous.

"Thank fucking God," he sighed into the hair at her neck. "Fuck, Kagome, I-I'm so glad. Fuck, baby, I'm—" He pulled away from her for a moment, and Kagome forced her eyes open so she could gaze into the beautiful comfort of softened, glassy amber. Kagome sighed an abated exhale to feel Inuyasha's coarse hands on the side of her face, brushing her bangs back from her forehead.

Home, she thought, meeting his gaze. Inuyasha's arms are home. I'm home with my mate.

She waited for him to say something else, but he only stared like he couldn't believe she was awake. Kagome's eyes darted between his, eager to read whatever meaning or emotion he hid there.

When Inuyasha stood suddenly, lowering Kagome to the pillow mattress beneath her, she clutched his wrist tightly. She just got him back. After the horror of thinking she'd lose him forever, he was letting her go, and the lightness Kagome felt began to writhe with panic. He must have recognized her pleading look not to leave her alone, because he kneeled beside her on the mattress instead of leaving. Kagome exhaled with relief. Her chest hummed again with lightness, continuing to pretend there wasn't that aching heat prowling in her stomach, poking at her heart.

She didn't like that feeling. She didn't trust that feeling.

Her eyes falling to Inuyasha's lips, Kagome remembered that Inuyasha's kiss had a habit of fixing everything. She wanted to rebuke herself for the childishness of a fairytale thought that her mate's kiss could cure anything. Instead, she mustered her strength in an effort to push up onto her elbows, eager to press their mouths together. Unfortunately, Kagome was so weak that even moving her arms was exhausting. She was nowhere nearer his mouth.

"Just relax," Inuyasha reprimanded, his eyebrows creasing. "Don't move, Kagome, I'm just gonna—"

Does he know? Does Inuyasha know she's his mate?

Probably, her mind snorted, he met with the Demon Council. They probably told him.

Right, of course. Of course, Inuyasha knows. He just found out. Just like she did.

The lightness in her chest began to glow.

"I know," she said softly, eager to share this moment of revelation with him.

Oof, she needed a drink of water. Desperately.

Inuyasha closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, and Kagome tightened her grip on his hand, cradling his fist between her clammy palms. Her cheeks turned pink as she focused on their hands; she didn't have the confidence to look him in the face right now. For some reason, she felt embarrassed for having jumped to such extremes in the restroom with Rin, for not giving Inuyasha the benefit of the doubt. Apparently panic would always come easily to Kagome. But it didn't need to, because she was with her mate, and they were going to be together, and everything was going to be okay.

"I'm—" She paused to lick her lips, willing moisture to her mouth to help the words slip out. "I'm your—"

"We can talk about this after I get you some water," Inuyasha interrupted. "Let me—"

Yes, water sounded good, but feeling the heat and comfort and safety of her mate's body sounded better. She needed to hold him. She needed to feel his arms around her, his lips on hers. They were finally together. This was a moment to cherish, to commemorate.

But Kagome's intuition was trying to tell her that something was off.

Kagome squeezed his hand and tugged gently. A smile crept up her face as Inuyasha's shoulders loosened and he relented to her pull, climbing over her body to lay down beside her.

See? They were going to cuddle and kiss, and everything was going to be fine. Because she and Inuyasha are mates. Better than boyfriend/girlfriend. Better than spouse. Better than wife.

Mates.

He released her hand to cup her cheek. "I'm so sorry," he murmured hoarsely, his gaze struggling to keep hers.

That was a weird thing for him to say, no? They just discovered they're mates and Inuyasha was apologizing?

Did something happen while Kagome was passed out? The apology couldn't possibly be a self-deprecating thing, could it?

Actually, back track...why had Kagome passed out? Was it something to do with her nervous system like Rin suggested? Because Inuyasha started the mating bond? Rin had said whatever was happening to Kagome would likely pass, which it clearly did, given Kagome was awake now. Yet, something was missing. It felt a little like she started a movie, slept during the middle of it, and woke up at the end.

Kagome closed her eyes, feeling very discombobulated. She tried to recall the conversation from the restroom, thinking she remembered Inuyasha carrying her, and then...nothing. She couldn't remember anything else. Even if there was something to remember, there was this dull sensation inside her like a warning she didn't want to remember.

But that was silly, right? She and Inuyasha should be celebrating. They're mates!

Kagome opened her eyes to meet Inuyasha's piercing stare.

Why did he apologize?

Why didn't he look happy?

What happened?

Suddenly, Kagome felt flustered. An ireful whip snapped at her heart, turning the loveliness she felt at the word mate into something sour. Kagome didn't want to feel awful. She wanted to bask in this moment with Inuyasha. With her mate.

Right, his lips. Inuyasha's kiss could fix this. His mouth always helped her feel better.

"Kiss me," she whispered hoarsely, wrapping her arms around his neck slowly and wincing as she tried to scoot closer to him. Thankfully, Inuyasha took pity on her and did most of the moving to seal their bodies together.

"Why?"

He sounded...sad? Discouraged? Angry? Kagome couldn't stomach whatever expression he wore on his face. Why the hell was he acting like this when she wanted him to kiss her? Inuyasha was always happy to kiss her!

What the hell changed?

What the fuck had happened?

Kagome felt hollow inside. Instantly, it seemed incredibly naive of her to ignore the bitter heat that had the happiness in her heart surrounded, ganged up on and sorely outnumbered.

"To celebrate," she answered purposefully, even though she could hear the doubt in her own voice. Maybe saying it out loud would help with whatever weirdness Kagome was detecting between them.

Inuyasha snorted a scoff and the happiness in Kagome's chest flickered. Panic flared and Kagome was helpless to stop it. "And what the hell are we celebrating exactly?"

Was it possible Inuyasha didn't know? Had he found Kagome in the restroom with Rin before the Council had a chance to tell him?

"Because you found me," she replied, her eyes stalking between his, wishing he wouldn't look at her like this. Was he overwhelmed? Inuyasha had a tendency to be emotionally slower than Kagome. Maybe learning she's his mate was a lot for him to process. Maybe he wasn't allowing himself to enjoy this moment—just like on their date. Maybe he was still hung up on the issues the two of them have to work through. Maybe he was just...being cautious, self-preserving. "Because you're allowed to get swept up in this," she added, her timbre even softer.

"Swept up in what?"

What were the chances he just wanted to hear her say it? Her eyes narrowed at him, desperate to read between the lines. "Is it true?"

Inuyasha had to know!

"Is what true?"

Oh jeez...maybe he didn't! "Am I...am I really your mate?"

One heartbeat passed and as a second came and went Kagome's chest was aflame with a burning panic that made it hard to breathe.

He should be happy. Why wasn't he happy?

Inuyasha closed his eyes, gulped loudly. "Yes."

Mine, mine, mine.

Mate, mate, mate.

"Good," she sighed, her heart exhausted from the obvious misunderstanding of panic.

Then, her mouth was on his. Because maybe Inuyasha just needed a good kissing and whatever ridiculousness was happening behind the scenes would disappear.

Kagome's grip around his neck tightened as their kiss deepened. Her throat quivered a moan when one of his palms found her back beneath her shirt and his other cupped the back of her head.

Inuyasha was the one to pull back first, and he stared at her for a moment. He looked like he was completely dumbfounded as to how he ended up on her lips, pressed up against her in bed. His lips were red but not nearly as kiss-swollen as Kagome would like them to be.

"Are you okay?"

"I should be askin' you that," he sighed heavily, his forehead leaning against hers. "You scared me."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, placing another gentle kiss to his lips.

"Don't apologize." He pulled her into a tight embrace, her head tucked beneath his chin. "Fuck, Kagome, I'm just—I'm so fuckin' relieved you're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Honestly? Horrible," she answered with a muted laugh. "I feel like I ran a marathon I didn't train for then ended up in some kind of accident. I'm sore and tired. But—" She smiled up at him— "I'm here with you, so everything's gonna be okay."

His breath hitched in response to her words, which had her pulling back to raise a questioning eyebrow at him. Her eyes weren't allowed to linger on him too long before Inuyasha dragged her back into a firm embrace, wrapping his body even more rigidly around hers. When he hid his face in her hair and inhaled her scent like he was scared he'd forget it, Kagome felt her panic spike. Was that her trembling or him? It had to be her. Inuyasha didn't tremble.

"What happened?" she asked.

He retreated from her hair, cupped her cheek, kissed her. "What do you remember?"

"Talking with Rin in the bathroom," she said after a few breaths, her eyes zipping back and forth as her mind rewound. "I remember feeling more and more awful until—" She paused, frowning while she tried to think through her memories— "I think I remember leaving the restaurant? I don't remember coming home though."

Inuyasha looked thoughtful. "You were out for hours."

"Really?" After he nodded, Kagome gazed at the side of his face wordlessly, trying to talk down the panic in her chest. She was desperate to believe things were fine. "So...I guess the Council told you about me? About us being mates?" Inuyasha blinked at her blankly. His expression made Kagome's saliva taste sharp and sour. She tripped over her next words like an engine chugging to turn over. "R-Rin told me that's why the Council was convened so suddenly...because they found your mate. I guess some seer found me for them?" She licked her lips. "Rin gave me the impression they wanted to meet with you to tell you about it, about me, I guess."

When Inuyasha didn't respond right away, Kagome's eyes lowered to trace the shape of his clavicle. "I'm sorry I panicked and, well, overreacted, Inuyasha... Typical Kagome move," she tried to joke with a sarcastic lilt to her voice, "making a problem where there isn't one." She feigned a laugh, which felt hollow when Inuyasha was silent and morose in the wake of her attempted joke. She licked her lips then swallowed. His legs felt sturdy and warm tangled around hers. "It's just...you'd told me so many times before that I wasn't your mate, and when I heard she'd been found...I just assumed it couldn't be me, and—"

She paused to meet his eye when he cleared his throat. At first she thought he did it to get her attention, but then she realized he did it because he was uncomfortable.

Kagome exhaled deeply through her nose. "You must've been pretty surprised when you found out, huh?"

One breath passed and then four and then five, and Inuyasha still wasn't willing to meet her gaze. His eyes paced like his thoughts were spinning. He angled his face away as if he couldn't bear looking at her. Kagome's skeptical leer lingered, eager to understand why he was acting like this.

"They didn't tell me." His words were so strained, so hushed, his voice was a hissing whisper. "I—" He stopped, licked his lips, tried again— "I knew before the Council did."

"O-oh..." Kagome searched his face for her next words. "But...then...how did you—?"

A woman's voice inside her head silenced Kagome's tongue.

Maybe a week or two before we met at the store, I overheard Inuyasha asking Sesshoumaru how he knew I was his mate...I think Inuyasha learned the lip biting thing from Sesshoumaru as a way of starting your bond, Rin had said. You've wanted to bite his neck, Kagome, because Inuyasha triggered your bond. His mating veins have been calling out to you.

Kagome's eyes widened as the truth came into view.

The Council met today, planning to share the news with Inuyasha they'd found his mate. But Inuyasha started the bond with Kagome over a week ago, using a trick he apparently learned from Sesshoumaru one to two weeks before he bit her on their date.

Nausea stood at attention beneath her skin and rattled the bars to its cage.

Inuyasha knew they were mates before their date.

He bit her lip to start their mating bond before Kagome asked him to bite her.

Which means...which means...

Darlin', I...I'm not gonna bite you.

Which means he had known they were mates when she asked him to bite her.

It's just...biting someone on the neck...that's a mate thing, and—

He had said no. Kagome asked Inuyasha to do something he had every right to do, because he's her mate, but he still said no.

Why?

WHY?

Kagome looked at Inuyasha in a new light. All she could feel was the crushing weight of the expensive token around her neck. Why was forever as a non-mate acceptable but Forever as a mate, not?

She wanted to convince herself she was just confused, that she must be misunderstanding. Because there's no way Inuyasha could have known she was his mate for one to three weeks and not said anything about it or...or not done anything about it!

How did he figure it out? Was there some obvious sign she missed, again? Kagome felt like even more of an idiot, like a joke.

Why didn't he tell her?

Did he...did Inuyasha not want her as a mate? No...no, that couldn't be it!

She closed her eyes, feeling incredibly overstimulated. When she opened them again, that was when Inuyasha's gaze drew her attention to her shoulder.

Which was a bloody mess. Literally.

Kagome gasped. "Wh-what?" Her head recoiled for a better view. With the pads of her fingers, she brushed tentative, gentle strokes over the lightly bleeding teeth marks in her shoulder. Her pale skin was a smear of wet and dried blood. She drew back her hand, mesmerized by the crimson accenting her fingertips. How the hell hadn't she noticed this before? Now that she was aware of the wound, it throbbed with its own pulse. It smarted with a different type of ache than the rest of her body. "What is this?" she asked, unable to look away from the mark.

It looked like the wound she gave Inuyasha that morning. But...why would he—?

When he didn't answer, Kagome's eyes leapt to his. Inuyasha turned his whole head away from her. "I...I bit you," he answered in a quiet, gravelly voice.

Kagome's fingers glossed over the obvious depression of teeth marks that looked like two rows of morse code in her skin, the lines of his teeth and the dots of his fangs. "Yeah...I can see that. Why? When did you—?" Recently, obviously, she thought, given the wound is still kinda bleeding.

Inuyasha groaned as he rose from the bed, effectively detaching himself from her. He sat on the edge of the mattress and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. A few gruff breaths and his face was in his palms. "It was the only way I could wake you from your coma. Well, not the only way, but I wasn't willin' to—" He stopped himself and exhaled, pushing his fingers further into his bangs.

Kagome blinked at the wall of his back. "C-coma? I wasn't just sleeping off—?"

"Kagome, I—" She didn't like how he said her name. Panic was alive and well in her chest— "I've fucked up."

I've fucked up.

Somehow, hearing those words made Kagome think of her life as one of those maze puzzles where one has to find their way to the finish line with multiple dead-ends scattered throughout. Kagome could see herself at the starting line, at the beginning of her relationship with Inuyasha, and she could see herself at the finish line, discovering she was Inuyasha's mate; yet, somehow, how she got from there to here makes zero fucking sense!

Kagome was starved and feral for answers.

Despite the rush of her escalating heart and the heat of panic and rising anger in her blood, Kagome was slow to her hands and knees. In a show of clumsy movements, she eventually found her way beside Inuyasha at the side of the bed. She pressed her uninjured shoulder against the heat of his, the one she bit this morning. Placing a hand hesitantly on his thigh, Kagome leaned her weight into the touch, angling herself in front of him to force him to look at her. It was a little nauseating, breathing in the comforting familiarity of his scent but not feeling assuaged by it.

"Inuyasha," she whispered harshly. "What is going on?"

He closed his eyes for a moment before he inhaled deeply. "I never meant for this to happen, Kagome. I only ever wanted to shield you from all the shit I thought was gonna harm or upset you. I thought we'd have time to eventually get into all this, but of course my fuckin' good intentions had to—" He sighed angrily, taking a pause for a large breath— "I thought I could protect you. I've kept things from you, Kagome, but I promise I only did it to protect you."

He's known for more than a week, her mind fizzled in a knee-jerk response to the panic. He's known and he hasn't told me.

"What things? Do you mean being mates?" Her eyes fell to his hand as it slid over hers. "You're freaking me out, Inuyasha. Tell me what's going on."

"I didn't wanna talk to you about the whole mating thing, about my family and status, and—"

"You mean being Right Hand to Sesshoumaru?" He blinked slowly at her, a look on his face that said he would never imagine hearing those words come out of her mouth. "Rin told me," Kagome explained. "She told me about how important finding your mate is to the monarchy, an extra body to help rule the empire, or whatever."

Inuyasha grimaced and Kagome didn't know how to take that. "It's not just that more mates mean more power for the monarchy, Kagome. There are other reasons why the Council is so fuckin' intense about wantin' me to find my mate, and those are the reasons I didn't tell you about this stuff right away. 'Cause all the baggage that comes with bein' with me, with bein' my mate, would've put an even bigger strain between us."

She frowned. "A strain on what exactly?"

Inuyasha grimaced, his ears twitched. "Mating me would put even more pressure on our sex life."

Kagome's head retracted on her neck like his words slapped her. Sex life was definitely not what she was expecting him to say. Her brain and heart were pounding in unison and, out of habit, Kagome gripped the Drop in a tight fist like it would help her thoughts make sense and soothe her heart. It wasn't lost on her how Inuyasha observed the gesture and winced.

"How?" she asked. Kagome indelicately stroked the bite on her shoulder and flinched. She turned to regard the injury. "What does this stuff about mating have to do with you biting me? With me being in a coma? This isn't making any sense, Inuyasha!"

Inuyasha collected her hand from her shoulder, his grasp on her fingers as light as if she were a little bird. "It'll come back," Inuyasha whispered, talking to the floor directly in front of him. "The sickness that put you out like that...I didn't fix it. I got you to wake up by biting you, but I only made the sickness go away temporarily."

Her mouth parted into a shallow, downturned crescent while the furrow of her brow deepened.

Your body is in shock because your nervous system's going crazy from not completing the mating bond.

Kagome withdrew her hand from his and clasped her fists together to keep from touching him. "Sickness? What the hell're you talking about, Inuyasha? I'm sick?"

"I started our mating bond, Kagome, but you and me...we haven't finished it, so you're just—Until we do, your body's just—" He finished his sentence with a shrug, as if she should know what the hell that meant. Inuyasha's cheeks were flushed and eyes cast so low they looked closed. Even his ears looked wilted. "I learned from Sesshoumaru that I could manually start the bond for a human mate 'cause it was likely you wouldn't pick up on it otherwise. So, I tried it out after suspecting things between us for a while... I wanted to see if you felt as drawn to me as I did to you. But I didn't know it would get you sick! I swear I thought I needed to bite your mating veins to trigger the actual Urge and that just cutting your lip would—"

"So what?" she scoffed. "You accidentally gave me a case of Urge Lite?"

"It was a stupid accident!" he yelled in response to her sarcastic quip. "Biting a human mate anywhere apparently triggers the Urge. But I didn't even fuckin' know humans feel the Urge like demons do! But you feel it worse apparently because you're human and weaker and—" He groaned loudly and ran his hands over his face— "Fuck, Kagome...if I had known I'd be riskin' Urge Sickness, I obviously wouldn't've gambled with a stupid fuckin' test like I did!"

For a flashing moment, Kagome's brain decided to point out the humour behind Kagome completing tests back in the day with Inuyasha to determine if he felt a connection to her and learning that Inuyasha had conducted his own with her to do the same. The humourlessness of the parallels could have made her cry.

Then her mind hiccupped over Inuyasha's words: suspecting things between us for a while.

A while, a while, a while. It became all her mind could say, all her brain could focus on.

Kagome clenched her eyes until the blackness was tinged with shimmery lines and blob-like stars. She chomped down on her lip until her teeth threatened to break through.

She felt her lips move despite her brain feeling seized in an Error 404 kind of situation. "I'm assuming The Urge is the name behind the pull I feel to your mating veins? And not responding to the Urge, completing the bond, is what's making me unwell with this Urge Sickness? Because my nervous system is freaking out from not pairing with yours?"

Inuyasha was silent as he stared at her, his eyes wide and eyebrows high. Clearly her use of mating language shocked him. Because of course it did. He didn't expect her to know any of this.

Because he'd been keeping it from her.

Because he'd been lying to her.

Kagome inserted space between their bodies and arched herself forwards, her elbows on her thighs.

The angle at which she held her body had the Drop swaying in pendulum-like motions. The necklace's movement caught Inuyasha's attention and he sucked in a deep breath, reaching to still the charm. He was silent for a while, the teardrop in his hand. The silence between them was loud, but not as loud as Kagome's increasingly hectic pulse. His expression morphed into one of irritation as he cupped the pendent, the Drop looking small and fragile in the meatiness of his calloused palm. Then he released the charm like it hurt him to touch it.

Which made sense, honestly, given how fucking pointless it was.

The Drop stood as a promise of a watered-down forever, a sign of his commitment to her, an emblem of their non-mated relationship. So, of course, being mates—

Kagome's nausea surged in response to the trajectory of her thoughts, and her mind came to an immediate halt out of self-preservation. Rage bloomed in her chest like a growing snowball gathering speed and she forced herself to finish the thought.

Inuyasha gave her the Drop knowing they were mates. She should be wearing his mating bite! Why the hell would Inuyasha give his mate a token of affection meant for non-mates? Especially when he's apparently suspected it for a while?

Her mind replayed the past few weeks, skimming through all the time they spent together, all the things they said to each other. It made her second-guess everything and want to take a magnifying glass to every encounter, every exchange.

He likely knew during their blowup fight. When she confessed to having feelings for him. When he slept over. When she came over on the night of the new moon. When—

Kagome choked a swallow down around an immovable lump in her throat.

When they marked each other with their saliva, claiming each other as the most casual form of non-mates. When they went on their date. The letter. The dinner. The Drop.

The sex.

She was his mate and he decided she hadn't needed to know, she didn't deserve to know. Which made Kagome feel she was only good enough to be claimed with his saliva and then be given a necklace. A mate treated like a non-mate. And when she started feeling the Urge and asked him to bite her without knowing why she wanted it so badly, he said no. So much for Urge Lite. More like Mate Lite.

Truth after truth and memory over memory rained down upon her, filling her emptiness up with more despair and anger.

When they made love and she freaked out after from the unknown Urge...because they were mates. When Inuyasha freaked out after the second time they made love...because they were fucking mates. A whole fucking week of living together at his place, so much intimacy, so much sex, so much goddamn closeness, and he kept the truth to himself the entire. Fucking. Time!

And then the desperation and devastation and destruction she felt when she thought she wasn't meant to be his and she'd lose him forever to his real mate...

Kagome couldn't remember the last time she was this livid. Probably at Hojo, honestly. Likely at herself, realistically—the ignorant, hopeless, love-blind fool that she was. But this felt worse than Hojo. Because Hojo hurt her not knowing any better. Inuyasha hurt her despite the fact he did.

Indignation simmered within Kagome like slowly waking up. The more she saw, the more her mind churned and put the pieces together, and the larger this surging wave of anger drew back like it was preparing to crest and charge.

Her gaze lingered on her rigid, whitening fingers clasped tightly together. "How long have you suspected I was your mate?"

"Kagome, I—"

"How long, Inuyasha?"

He looked like every word he uttered pained him. "Do you remember when we met and I followed you out into the parkin' lo—?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Kagome was on her feet before her bellow finished echoing around his bedroom. She felt disoriented and winded, Inuyasha's words like a fist to the gut.

The first time they met? Seriously? Inuyasha had insulted Kagome and sent her running from the room. She had been eager to get away from him because she was heartbroken from Hojo dumping her not even twenty-four hours prior, and she was forced to service this gigantic asshole of a handsome client on a shift she picked up that she hadn't even wanted and—

Oh god...

Oh GOD!

The entirety of their friendship.

This whole time...

This whole.

Fucking.

Time!

Kagome cupped a hand to her mouth like that could do anything to keep at bay the nausea and the shock. Breathing became a manual process; her draws of breath too narrow, too steep, too slow, the exhales too fast. Lightheadedness accosted her; she couldn't take in enough air. She turned her back to Inuyasha, fearful that looking at him would make her sick on the spot. She was too shocked to be outraged but too angry to say anything more. The devastation made her feel so much to the point she felt emotionless. She was too distraught for having been misled, too confused about how this even came to be. For how prone Kagome was to being a crybaby, Inuyasha stunned her eyes dry.

She heard him move and felt the flurried breeze of his rising from the bed. He stilled behind her. When Kagome began frantically pacing, in her periphery she saw him reach out for her despite making no move to touch her.

"Kagome." His voice gave out on the second syllable of her name. "Please. Listen to me, alright? Yes, I...I suspected for a long while, but I only legitimately realized it recently! I didn't say anything 'cause I panicked about things goin' too fast for you! I didn't wanna overwhelm you! I didn't wanna make you feel trapped, Kagome, or stuck, or like you have no freewill to be with whoever you wanna be with!

"You were fuckin' terrified of love after how badly your ex hurt you, and then you were just starting to get over it, and then gettin' used to the idea of being with me, and—" He stopped to run a flustered hand through his hair and exhale miserably. "If I had told you back then, it would've scared you off. You would've run from me so fuckin' fast if you discovered this big, huge thing that bound us together! I couldn't do that to you, Kagome! It would've traumatized you or scared you fuckin' senseless and I cared about you. I care about you so fuckin' much! I wanted to wait for the right time to tell you. I never meant for this to hurt you... Darlin', I-I couldn't—"

"You lied to me."

Inuyasha's movements stilled at the cold, emotionless way she spoke. But Kagome couldn't help her tone—she honestly felt a little dead inside.

"Kagome..." His mouth hung open, his face frozen in a pained, helpless expression.

"You're telling me that from the very first day I met you, you suspected we could be mates? And I'm only learning about this months later, and only because your little experiment with me fucked over your secret and got me sick? After everything we've shared together, this is how you treat me?

"I wanted so badly to be your mate, Inuyasha," she admitted with a humourless, wet laugh. "As soon as I learned demons and humans could mate, I wished you could be my—Because what I felt for you was—" She shook her head, too many words tripping over themselves in gridlock traffic at the back of her throat.

Inuyasha was deathly silent. No part of him moved except for his eyes, tracking the fury of her ragged pacing and gesticulating hands. Her next words were a hoarse shout, her face flushed with rage. "I had to learn all of this from Rin! Do you know how awful that felt? After how much time you and me spent together, I had to learn this big truth from practically a stranger? Not to mention the fact that I...I—How I felt at the prospect of losing you, when I thought your mate wasn't me? So much worse than Hojo, Inuyasha! Losing you was so much fucking worse!"

Her throat was so tight and her anger so piercing, her voice was a rasping, dry squeak. "How could you—?" She took a deep breath and blew it out roughly through a tight-lipped circle. Her hands frantically grabbed at her hair— "Do you have any idea how fucking stupid I feel right now, Inuyasha? Feeling like I'm the last to know this incredibly huge thing that impacts my life? I'm mortified and I'm heartbroken and—"

Tears exploded from her. When Kagome thought crying wasn't possible, it turned out the deluge just needed time to buffer as the hurt registered and the damage begun. It was a little terrifying, how quickly the sobs consumed her, shaking her shoulders, the saltiness of her tears stinging her already sensitive eyes.

Before her first stuttering, thick inhalation, Inuyasha yanked Kagome into his arms. Her face crashed into Inuyasha's clavicle from the fumbling rush of their embrace. The physical pain was a welcome attempt to staunch her sobbing as her elbows curved greedily around his neck. There was nothing soft about this hug. It was vulnerable and melancholic and painful in the way of taut, trembling arms pinning each other motionless. Kagome dug her nose into Inuyasha's throat until her nasal cartilages ached.

"What the hell is ha-happening, Inuyasha? Why? Why did y-you lie to me? I-I-I'm so confused! I'm so—" She clawed at his nape, gripping his hair as a fresh wave of sobs consumed her ability to speak.

"I'm sorry," he croaked, his fingers fisting her hair as he clutched her around the waist with enough force to stutter her breath. "I'm so, so fuckin' sorry."

It felt awful how good it felt to hold Inuyasha when she was so devastated by how long and how much he'd been lying to her. It's probably one of the worst feelings she'd ever known: her go-to person being the person who hurt her. "H-help me understand," she cried. "P-please. I-I need to under—" Kagome's throat gave out and she sputtered a coughing fit into his shoulder.

With her face in his chest, Inuyasha gathered Kagome in his arms and brought her out of his room and into the kitchen. He deposited her on a stool at his breakfast bar and brought her a glass of water. He rubbed soothing circles on her back as she took quick, small sips of cold water to calm down. When Kagome's breathing regulated and she was gasping and hiccupping fewer inhalations, she swiveled on the stool to meet his gaze, her face mottled and red.

Time felt slow and languid, thickened like Inuyasha's lies had made a roux. Confusion became a dense cloud around her. She felt like she couldn't trust her emotions, trust herself, trust Inuyasha. When Inuyasha collected her cheeks in his palms and kissed her roughly in a frantic, wet rush of lips and tears, Kagome was too disoriented to stop it. She felt his care and she felt his anguish and she felt her hurt, and she desperately wanted his lips to make everything better. Then her arms were around his neck, clutching him like he'd drop her if she let go.

Teeth and tongues were searching and needy. Everything he communicated to her through that kiss was desperate and heavy. He growled a keening rumble in his chest and the pressure against her breasts and hardening nipples had Kagome moaning. He forced her legs apart to make space for himself between her knees, hard, antsy, demanding. She wrapped her legs around him, ankles crossing behind his ass, pulling him closer and closer until he was bent over into her. Her chin jutted upwards to increase the pressure of the kiss until their exchanges became sloppy, bruising, dire. Inuyasha's kisses became desperate and painful but Kagome used all her strength to keep him soldered to her lips. Kagome arched her spine until his palm brutally cupped her breast, squeezing her until the sharp bite of pain registered in her brain.

Kagome cried his name when he drew back for a sudden rush of air. Inuyasha wasted no time reclaiming her mouth hungrily, his fingers latched to her scalp, his nose colliding into hers harshly as he adjusted his angle. "P-please," Kagome whispered against his wet mouth, his cheeks sodden with secondhand tears.

"I'm so fuckin' sorry, Kagome," he gasped after she sucked his bottom lip into her mouth. Kagome came away from his lips tasting blood, meaning she likely bit him hard enough to puncture the skin. Neither of them seemed to react or care.

"Touch me," she begged, her palm overlapping his above her breast, squeezing him as he squeezed her. "Or fuck me. I don't care—just make me feel better, Inuyasha." Tears gathered in her eyes as his tongue penetrated her mouth crudely. "I don't want to feel like this. Please. Please make it go away."

As her head tilted back to look up at him, Inuyasha stopped himself just before his lips, tongue, and teeth clamped her throat. With a hand on either side of Kagome's head, Inuyasha drew back. He tongued the wound on his lip, his eyes playing tennis with hers. His shoulders were wild with each heaving breath. Inuyasha stared, eyes glazed with lust and shining with hurt.

No. No—he wasn't allowed to stop yet! He's supposed to fix this. He's supposed to make this pain go away!

"Fuck," Inuyasha hissed under his breath, retracting his head when Kagome tried to claim his mouth again. "What the fuck am I doing?" he yowled. "Kagome, stop!" he cried when she jerked his hand back to her breast. "Stop! For fuck's sake stop! You don't want this! You don't want me right now!" He tore himself from her hands, backing himself away from her until his shoulders hit the wall opposite where she sat.

It was jarring, how long it took her to emerge from lust to remember her rage and hurt. Kagome's fingers brushed her saliva-slick, red lips as her tongue tasted of Inuyasha. She found tears of overwhelm, regret, and embarrassment gracing her cheeks once more. "What the hell is wrong with me?" she gasped in a terse, whispered voice. "I-I'm sorry," she cried. "I shouldn't have—"

"No, I shouldn't've—" Inuyasha corrected, his brows so drawn he looked enraged. His fists shook at his sides. "Fuck, Kagome, I'm...I'm so—"

Kagome drained her waterglass and rested the cool glass against one cheek and then the other. She was desperate for relief from this burning heat consuming her from within. The kitchen air was heavy with their laboured breaths as they both placated their lust in the stillness.

"Why did you never tell me?" Kagome's question was nearly silent but Inuyasha heard her. She could tell by the grave look on his face when she met his eye in his responding reticence. "Did you not trust me or something? Did I never—?"

"It was never because of anythin' you did or didn't do," he said curtly, the intense fire of his golden stare making Kagome's heart ache. "You don't own any part of my fuck-up, alright? This is all on me, Kagome. I was too much of a fuckin' coward. That's why I never told you. You have only ever been open and honest and too fuckin' good for me. I acted on fear like a fuckin' jackass when I should have given you benefit of the doubt and just opened up my goddamn mouth and told you."

I wish I could just open my mouth and let it all come out, but...I can't. I'm scared it's gonna be the reason you leave me.

Inuyasha's words from this past week rang loudly in her mind.

"Thursday night when you came home," she began, her eyes sore yet wide as she tracked his movements. Inuyasha distracted himself from his ire by swiping her glass from her grip and refilling it for her. "You told me you couldn't talk to me about stuff because you were scared I'd—"

"I've always been fuckin' terrified you're gonna leave me, Kagome." The bottom of the waterglass hit the counter so hard the clink echoed around them. She watched the glass as if expecting it to crack or break. It did neither. "I have so much shit goin' on in my life that I knew as soon as you found out you'd fuckin' run for the hills."

"You don't know that," she argued, scowling at him as she dragged the glass towards her. "You shouldn't have assumed I'd—"

"There was never a good time to tell you!"

"There is never a good time for anything, Inuyasha! We make the time! If you spend your whole life waiting for the right moment to do something, you'll find your whole life passing you by having never found it!" She sipped her water to drown a sob that started to gather strength in her throat. "If you had just told me you needed to talk to me about something that was difficult for you, I would have listened, Inuyasha."

He snorted. "So what? I shoulda just sat you down and unloaded all this shit on you usin' a statement up front hopin' to soften the blow?"

"That's exactly what you should've done!" She clenched her hands into fists and watched her knuckles change colours. "With all the shit I've gone through, I can understand holding something back because it scares you. I can appreciate why it was more comfortable to keep shit to yourself than run the risk of opening up to me. I fucking hate that you did it, but I can understand and appreciate the fact you acted out of fear, Inuyasha." She closed her eyes to breathe through the desire to cry. "But I'm still so hurt by it."

When Kagome opened her eyes, she watched his close in the middle of a shaky exhale. "I know," Inuyasha sighed heavily. "Fuck, Kagome, I know. I didn't wanna hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. I never meant—"

"I just want to know, Inuyasha." She sounded tired and tattered, her voice hoarse, her timbre breathy. Her words were as effective at eliciting a sharp inhale from Inuyasha as if she yelled at him. "Explain it to me," she said, turning her reddened eyes away from him. "Tell me everything."

"I don't wanna overwhelm you, Kag—"

"I'm already overwhelmed," she interrupted curtly, her eyes snapping to his. She tucked her hands between her knees. Inuyasha leaned his hip against the counter and crossed his arms. "I can't stand another second of being kept in the dark."

Inuyasha exhaled deeply and then nodded. His gaze was hard on the counterspace between them—him standing on one side of the island, Kagome seated on the other. A flustered expression had his brows knit and his eyes crinkled with concern.

"I'm guessin' Rin told you some shit already."

Kagome answered him by sharing what she remembered learning about the royal family being an extension of the Lord General and the importance of mating for the monarchy.

Inuyasha nodded and exhaled loudly through his nose. Then he licked his lips and began to speak. "I guess I'll start by sayin' that in demon society, the heir to the monarchy comes from a bloodline within the royal family. The heir doesn't have to be sired directly by the Lord General. When my dad died, the Demon Council lost their shit 'cause Sesshoumaru and me were it as far as backup plans go. Now, with Sesshoumaru actin' as Lord General, I'm—" He paused, sighing deeply— "I'm the only contingency plan. So, if somethin' happens to him and then somethin' happens to me, that's it for the Taisho line."

Kagome swiveled slightly towards him, her eyes bouncing between her lap and Inuyasha's face. "So, since my old man died, it's been all hands on deck to keep the Taishos in power with a huge emphasis on producing heirs. Sesshoumaru's been encouraged to take multiple wives as consorts, to use the harem that was started by our grandfather, and—"

"Are you kidding me? A harem? For fuck's sake, Inuyasha, you guys seriously have a collection of sexual partners just sitting around waiting for you to—?"

"Sesshoumaru shut that shit down as soon as he became Lord General," Inuyasha spat, his wide eyes on Kagome. "He wouldn't do that to Rin and I would never do that to you!" Kagome blinked at him for a moment, and Inuyasha continued speaking with petulant speed. "With Sesshoumaru mated to a human and me bein' a half-demon, there are concerns with the virility of my family's line, so the Demon Council has had a vested interest in me findin' my mate and in my sex life, since well before I even got laid for the first time."

Kagome covered her mouth with her fingers and Inuyasha pretended like he didn't notice her shock as he kept talking. "The Council wants more additions to the Taisho family. Period. Breeding is like...their number one concern when it comes to Sesshoumaru...and me. 'Cause I could sire the next heir."

He ran a hand down his face. "This is the shit that Myoga was talkin' about in the elevator on our date, Kagome—my duty and responsibility as the Lord General's brother," he hiss-whispered. "I didn't want you to know about this then 'cause it was just another added layer to us havin' sex and—"

"So...you just wanted to fuck me because the Council—?"

"No! No! Fuckin' no, Kagome!" he shouted, turning to face her. He slammed his palms on the counter and hunched his shoulders in a predatory stance that had Kagome recoiling from him in her seat. "Bein' intimate with you has been the greatest fuckin' thing I've ever experienced! For fuck's sake..." he hissed under his breath, scratching at the back of his head with frustration. "It's not gonna help my case, I know, but I never full out lied to you, Kagome, about any of this. Some things I just...avoided talkin' about or I withheld some details on the subject." He winced at how that came out. "But I didn't lie about how important sex is to me. I told you the truth when I said sex is how I form intimacy and attachment. Bein' with you this past week has made me feel closer to you than I ever have!"

He leaned over the counter to slide one of her hands between his. "Yes, I've wanted to fuck you since I basically met you, Kagome, but not once did I ever consider that sex would be meaningless with you. Not once did I ever look at you and think only of my responsibilities. I would never, ever fuck you just out of obligation to my royal duties. Part of the reason I didn't want you to know about any of this was 'cause I didn't want you thinking that, or second-guessin' my interest in you. I didn't want any of this shit near you, understand? I wanted so badly to protect you from all of this bullshit. Especially when I learned how loaded of a subject sex was for you. I didn't wanna complicate that for you—not after Hojo and the shit that asshole put you through. I didn't want—"

"I would have found out eventually, Inuyasha! There's no way we could've kept up a sexual relationship while you're trying to hide the fact you're expected to get me pregnant!"

"But I could've eased you into it!" Inuyasha groaned loudly, letting go of her hand to sink onto his forearms above the counter. "Sex has always been such a thing for us, Kagome! It was this spectre that fuckin' haunted our friendship and kept you scared shitless of me, always just outta reach. You and me had to work to be intimate. I had to work on gettin' you to trust me and that didn't happen overnight. Knowin' that sex with me and bein' my mate has all this extra shit that comes with it...there was never a good time to bring it up because you were always so skittish anytime the topic of sex came up."

"You still should've told me!"

"I know that! I'm not makin' excuses for myself, Kagome, I'm just tellin' you how it is!"

She pouted, holding her waterglass between her hands. As his explanation churned in her mind, Kagome's cheeks burned when she thought of a question she needed to ask him. "Do you have any—um—have you ever gotten anyone pregnant, or—?"

"Are you fuckin' kidding me?" he shouted, pushing up to standing. "None! No! I haven't sired any brats with anybody, Kagome! And no one's ever carried a kid of mine or so they've told me! That's part of the reason the Council is all over my dick about wantin' to find you and wantin' me to bed any female willin' to open her legs for me!"

"Inuyasha!" God, even though that's true, he didn't have to be so crass about it. "Did Kikyou know about all this? Did the Council harass you about—you know—this breeding stuff with her?"

Inuyasha chewed his cheek for a couple heartbeats before he answered. "Kikyou and me weren't happy together for most of our relationship 'cause we just weren't compatible, which you know. But she stayed in hopes of securing a consort title while the Council was gettin' their panties in a twist tracking down a seer to locate my mate." Both of them avoided meeting the other's eye when Inuyasha said mate. "I stayed with Kikyou for as long as I did 'cause I was—and still am—pressured to have intimate relationships by the Demon Council. The monarchy needs heirs and I needed to find my mate.

"Kikyou—" Inuyasha paused like he considered if he really wanted to say what he had planned to. Kagome sipped her water to distract herself— "Kikyou wasn't a sexual, touchy-feely person to begin with," he said. "But then she learned about what the Council expected of me, of her and me, and it made her even more disinterested in sex. Knowin' how much sex matters to me, I had hoped, with time, I could change her mind, but...but then her true colours showed—meanin' she was happy enough to treat me like a glorified bank account and a means to a royal title—and I just stopped trying with her.

"I was only with her a few years when I accepted that an unhappy relationship was better than the alternative: gettin' harassed constantly by the Council to breed. At least while the Council thought I was tryin' to impregnate Kikyou and out lookin' for my mate, they left me alone mostly. Turns out they were too busy tryin' to locate a seer, since they're super hard to come by these days. The fact they used two to track you down just speaks to how fuckin' desperate they are," he added with a derisive scoff, "'cause there's like...around ten of 'em left and seers ain't cheap."

Kagome was silent for a couple of minutes after that and Inuyasha helped himself to his own glass of water. "I can't even fathom how that would work," she said quietly, her eyes tracing the pattern on the dark countertop. "The Council just like...straight up asked you if you two were fucking and if she was pregnant?"

Inuyasha flushed, obviously uncomfortable with the question. But the more he seemed to think about it, the more frustrated he became. "Kikyou never struggled usin' any of the servants to run her errands, like buyin' tampons or making 'em keep Kikyou's calendar up to date. She never thought anythin' of it, tellin' one of the staff to note a trip she had comin' up for work or when her periods started. The way I understand it, the servants would report her monthly cycles to the Council—"

"Okay, that's actually fucked."

"—and, initially, I was asked to keep a log of all the times we fucked, but just...fuck that on so many levels. So I settled for givin' monthly averages whenever the full Council convened a few times a year."

"You're expected to report on your sex life?"

Inuyasha nodded dimly.

"And Sesshoumaru...?"

Inuyasha sighed. "Him too."

Kagome couldn't believe what she was hearing. "How is Rin okay with this?"

"She's been with Sesshoumaru for almost fifteen years," he answered. "She's had time to get used to what's expected of her as the Lord General's mate."

Kagome looked up at him, feeling the cold marble beneath her clammy, overheating palms. "So you had to tell the Coumcil how often you and Kikyou were—" She didn't finish that sentence. "But...you once told me that once a month for you two was—"

"I significantly inflated the numbers," he answered coldly. "And I often complained loudly to Miroku whenever councilmen were around that there were struggles with infertility. The Council might be eager, but they aren't tactless, especially when they know my mom struggled with infertility before she had me." His shoulders sagged and his ears bowed towards his scalp. "I never felt great makin' all that shit up about infertility, but—" He shrugged— "I liked not bein' hounded about siring heirs and finding my mate."

"Your mate," she echoed, her cheeks blushing—for what reason, she couldn't say.

"My mate," Inuyasha sighed, meeting her gaze. He rounded the counter to stand beside her. He gave one of her hands a small squeeze before letting it fall back to her lap. "I never meant to hurt you with any of this, Kagome," he said forlornly, his face such a genuine picture of upset it hurt Kagome's heart.

"I know," she responded faintly, curling her hands into fists above her thighs. "I just—" She licked her lips, like that would help her coherently address this aching hole in her chest— "I just wish I knew what you were thinking the whole time," she said finally. "Why you felt like you needed to keep this from me."

"I know," Inuyasha muttered. He brushed his knuckles across her cheek. "But with sex always being this big topic for us, I honestly don't think you and me would've gotten this far if—" Kagome reached out and held tightly to Inuyasha's hands, her thumbs drawing slow curves across his veins and knuckles. Inuyasha watched with rapt attention, like he was amazed she'd willingly touch him. He sighed, adjusting his grip so he held her back. "I was so sure that you learnin' all this shit was gonna be how I lost you, Kagome...the reason why I couldn't keep you."

She was silent for a while, both of them watching the gentle flow of her fingers across his skin. "I know there's this whole breeding subtext," she said, "but why would you never once let me know that you thought I was your mate?" Her eyes were hesitant in their ascent to meet his. "I deserved to know, Inuyasha. I deserved the right to make the decision for myself if I could handle all this. I should have been given the option to stay or not."

"I know," he said defeatedly. "Trust me, Kagome. Of all the shit I regret, not tellin' you is pretty up there on the list."

Kagome sighed when Inuyasha's fingers slipped between hers. She eyed the way their hands fit together while simultaneously trying to ignore how right it felt. "I want to know all of it, Inuyasha. You've kept me in the dark about this the entire time I've known you, and I'm not okay with that. I need to understand how we got to this point."

Inuyasha sighed, giving Kagome's request time to soak before he detached their hands and took up the stool next to her.

"I'll go over everything, Kagome, I promise. I'll recount every time we got together and tell you what I was thinkin' if that's what it takes to do right by you. But the first thing I wanna tell you is that I gave you this—" He caressed the Drop between lithe fingers— "to keep you safe from the Council.

"You can think of it like a two birds, one stone kinda situation. First, you already know that the Drop officially makes you mine from a claiming perspective, and second, the Council has a vested interest in findin' my mate. Since I figured—or hoped I guess—that you'd be attendin' wedding stuff with me, the Council will be all over the fuckin' place. Wearin' the Drop, if you ran into councilors, you'd be protected from them." He laced one of his hands with hers above her thigh. "I know you probably look at this thing and hate it—knowin' what it means now versus what it meant before—but it was the best way I knew to protect you at the time. The Council would never suspect a mate to wear a non-mate token."

Kagome looked down at her necklace then back up at Inuyasha. "I don't hate it," she said mildly after a pause, giving his fingers a gentle squeeze. "I appreciate the concern and level of protectiveness, Inuyasha, I do. But, for as much as I like the necklace and what it's meant between us, I would much rather have known right from the beginning that you thought we were mates." Her eyes fell from his and seemed to stick on the sight of their hands where they rested on her lap. "We could have figured all of this out together or come up with a plan."

"Or you could've decided you wanted fuck all to do with me and peaced out."

She chose not to respond to that comment. Especially since she still felt torn over what to do now that she knew she was Inuyasha's mate and there's this breeding obligation if she wants to stay with him.

When Inuyasha observed the look Kagome wore that was indicative of her being deep in her thoughts, he brought their joined hands to his mouth, kissing the spot where her thumb attached to her palm. "Ever since we met, you were always about bein' brutally honest. One of the things I love about you is that you wear your heart on your sleeve and your emotions in your hands. What you're thinkin' and feeling is always so accessible. You've always been upfront with me, Kagome, and you make it easy to be around you, as emotionally-handicapped as I am."

She snorted a small laugh at that and a slow, curling smile grew from Inuyasha's mouth before it disappeared just as fast. "You kept sayin' how scared you were of big feelings and rushed, formal labels, and jumpin' into somethin' so soon after things ended with Hojo. What was I supposed to do? Disregard all that and just blurt out I thought you were my soulmate? That we're supposed to end up with each other and you're supposed to join me at court?"

Kagome's head recoiled. "Wait—what?"

Inuyasha flushed and tightened his grip on her hand. His knee bumped her thigh as he shifted on his stool. "That's what bein' with me means, Kagome. If you accept being my mate, and we complete the bond, you're at my side, bearin' my kids, runnin' things alongside me and Rin to support Sesshoumaru as the Lord General."

"R-Running things?"

"The royal family has roles to play within the empire. The Lord General's only one demon; he needs eyes, ears, and hands, doin' other things, in other places."

Kagome blinked at him wildly. "But...I don't know anything about demons. I have no right to be in that kind of position, Inuyasha! Besides, I have my job, I have my very human life. How am I supposed to—?

"There're demons on Sesshoumaru's staff whose entire job is supporting the royal family, educating, serving, that kind of thing—they'd teach you everythin' you'd need to know. Plus, I guess I could help, since that would be the mately thing to do," he teased with a flash of his canines. When Kagome offered him a disingenuous smile, Inuyasha's mood seemed to darken. "I know you have your own life, Kagome," he said sullenly. "That's part of what's made it so hard to open up to you about all this shit. 'Cause you'd...you'd need to give up a lot of stuff to be with me, and—" He closed his eyes and swallowed; Kagome felt mesmerized by the slow bob of his Adam's apple— "I can't ask that of you. I don't want to ask that of you."

Kagome chewed the inside of her lip, her cheeks heated like a sunburn. "So...if I want to stay with you, I'd need to probably quit my job and start having your kids?"

There it was. That pained look on Inuyasha's face that made him squeeze her hand so tight it hurt. When she winced, he tossed her hand away like it burned him. Rubbing a hand down his face, Inuyasha stepped off the stool and started pacing.

"It's a shitty fuckin' situation...'cause I wanna be with you but I can't without imposin' all this bullshit on you. But the Taisho line needs heirs and I'm stuck in this impossible position where I don't feel like I can do right by you and fulfill my responsibilities to Sesshoumaru." Inuyasha exhaled garishly, mussing his hair. "My life is as structured as a goddamn highway. The road's already been paved and barricades set up, and I have a limited route I gotta follow. I can pretend I have control over shit in my life but that's like sayin' I'm in charge of my life by gettin' to pick what lane I'm in—regardless the lane I choose I'm still on the fuckin' highway that's been designed for me. I'm Sesshoumaru's second. I'm his brother. My position in the monarchy means I gotta run security, and I gotta bear him heirs. That's my life, Kagome. That's what you get if you pick me."

"Do I even get a choice?" she asked. Inuyasha blinked at Kagome as he frowned more thoroughly. "We're mates, Inuyasha. Am I even allowed to walk away from that?"

"Of course you are!" he answered brusquely. "Yes, we've been marked for each other as a perfect, complementary pairing—given each other as a blessing from the universe if you wanna be all woo-woo about it—but we don't have to complete the bond. You could walk outta here tonight and never have to see me again, if that's what you wanted."

Kagome felt tears line her eyelashes and she blinked the sensation away. "Seems like such a waste though. You deserve to be with your mate, Inuyasha."

"And my mate deserves to be happy, Kagome."

The silence Kagome injected in the wake of Inuyasha's words was difficult and painful, especially when Inuyasha stopped pacing to just stare at her. He looked like he was desperate for her to say something. She licked her lips and said the first thing that came to mind.

"What would happen if I want to be with you but I don't want all that? A royal life in Sesshoumaru's empire of demons?"

Inuyasha stared at her like her questions were phrased in a different language. "That's the only option for a life with me, Kagome."

"We couldn't—I dunno—run away and elope?"

Inuyasha scoffed a crude laugh. "And be hunted down for empirical desertion? I'd choose a life on the run for you even less than bein' at court."

Kagome hugged herself, fighting back tears. Her gaze fell to the floor. "This is a lot, Inuyasha."

"I know it is. I'm sorry."

"I know you are," Kagome sighed.

Without giving herself a chance to think about it too much, she rose from her stool and closed the distance between them to hug Inuyasha tightly. He held his arms out at his sides like he wasn't sure, at first, what to do with them. When Kagome burrowed her face against his sternum and breathed the scent of him in, Inuyasha seemed to relax and his arms fell around her shoulders. He rested his chin in her hair.

"I want to be with you, Inuyasha," she admitted feebly, "but I don't know how to feel about having zero control over things. I feel like I've lost any sense of agency or freewill for the rest of my life." She nuzzled her face against his neck, painting the woodsy warmth of his scent in her airways. For a moment, she allowed his mating veins to throb against her cheek. "I wanted to be your mate. All week I thought about it and wished it were true. I thought it would be the nicest thing in the world, being destined to end up yours, knowing for all time you're mine, that every life we'd find each other. But now—"

Inuyasha's arms dropped from her following those two words. He pulled away with unsteady steps backwards, looking like she slapped him. "But now?"

Kagome bit her lip to avoid crying. She couldn't look at him despite his eagerness for her to meet his eye.

"Are you...are you seriously considering leaving me, Kagome?" She moistened her lips and closed her eyes as she breathed in deeply over several seconds. She couldn't lose herself to tears right now. She needed to keep it together. "Kagome," he said again, her name forceful and urgent. When she still didn't know what to say—meaning she didn't respond—he stormed towards her and gripped her biceps, handling her roughly until she looked up to view panic trapped in amber. "Please tell me you're not—that you're not—"

"This is a lot, Inuyasha," was all she found herself able to say.

When Inuyasha stormed away from her angrily, Kagome flinched. She didn't turn initially, listening to his stomps of rage and the beat of his fists on the countertop. At the first sound of dishware crashing to the floor and shattering, Kagome turned in time to watch Inuyasha swiping items from the counter to the floor. Where Kagome previously startled, now she began to cry.

Inuyasha growled an echoing roar of pain as he picked up Kagome's waterglass and shattered it against the far wall. The magnitude of his anger frightened her, and the sound of shattering glass made her body jolt gruffly.

Her tears and hectic, immediate fright caused a dizzy spell to overcome her, and Kagome stumbled back towards the stool, catching herself on the edge of the counter with her elbow. Her hand skipped to her forehead, sheltering her eyes from the bright kitchen pot-lights. Inuyasha was a blur of movement to appear at her side.

"Kagome," he said hesitantly, chest heaving, his hand outstretched like he wanted to touch her but wasn't sure if he should. When her eyes quivered to a close with a grimace, Inuyasha gripped her elbows in his hands to help lower her onto the stool. "What happened?"

"Just got dizzy for a second. You startled me and—"

"Fuck," he swore. His lips were against her forehead and Kagome closed her eyes to the loveliness of the warmth of his breath in her bangs. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just—I can't lose you. I don't—"

Kagome groaned as a headache emerged from behind her clenched eyes. "Can—can you turn off the overhead lights, Inuyasha? My head is starting to hurt."

"Oh fuck," he hissed, disappearing for a moment. She heard the click, felt the reprieve of a darker space, and jumped with surprise when he cupped her cheek. "I think the Urge Sickness is comin' back."

"Because you started the bond and my weak as shit human body can't handle putting it off any longer?"

Inuyasha winced, his ears lowering to his scalp. "I'm so sorry, Kagome. Fuck, I—"

She moaned through clenched teeth when a surging rush of her headache had beads of sweat lining her upper lip. "You couldn't have just asked me if I felt a pull to you, Inuyasha? We couldn't have done the mature thing and fucking talked about possibly being mates instead of you treating me like a lab rat?"

Inuyasha closed his eyes as his features twitched through another wince. "I'm sorry."

Kagome forced her eyes open and looked away from him, gripping the edge of the counter between tight fingers. "What happens if I don't want to complete the bond with you?"

Inuyasha looked like he might be sick. "It...It would become a chronic illness," he answered tightly, swallowing then looking away. "Your nervous system would always be lookin' to bond with mine, meaning—"

"So, I'd be sick like this forever? Is that what you're telling me?" Kagome's heart kicked into her throat as a hot air balloon of rage took off in her chest.

"I'm so fuckin' sorry, Kagome. If I had known humans got the Urge and that this could happen, I never would've—"

"It's a bit late for that," she snapped, standing and eager to get away from him. When she started swooning from her vision going black because she stood too fast, Inuyasha was right there to catch her.

As soon as his arms circled her waist, Kagome began to cry even harder. It felt so right to be in his embrace. His arms were home to her. She wanted him. She loved him. His warmth and his body was her security. She couldn't picture a life without Inuyasha in it. She didn't want to.

But she didn't want to be forced to quit her job and upend her life. Yes, Kagome had wanted children eventually, with the right partner, but not like this. Not in these circumstances. Not under duress.

Kagome was so angry. She was so in love. She was so conflicted.

"I don't want to be sick for the rest of my life," she said between tears.

"I know."

"How long until—?" She didn't know how to finish that sentence. Until she passes out? Until it worsens? Until it kills her? Could this kill her?

"I don't know how bad it'll be this time," he admitted. He ground his jaw before saying, "If you don't wanna go through with mating me, we could find you a demon physician, Kagome; they might know somethin' to help with the pain, with blackin' out." He looked like he wanted to say something else but didn't. "Last time, your symptoms were worse 'cause your body was fighting off what's known as Mate Loss, which is a rush of chemicals in the body felt when a mate loses their—"

"But we're not mated. I didn't know you were—How is that—?"

Inuyasha drew her against him, her cheek atop his racing heart, his body sweltering. "Your body knew me as your mate because of what I did, even if you didn't know it yet."

"I seriously am the last to fucking know, aren't I?" Kagome pushed on his chest, stepping away from him again. "What happens if we complete the bond?"

"Then we're officially mates."

She cast him an unimpressed expression. "I gathered as much, Inuyasha. But what happens after that?"

Inuyasha's ears flattened, almost disappearing from view in his hair. "Sesshoumaru gave me two days to heal you, mate you, and then said I needed to present you to the Council; otherwise, they would seek you out themselves."

"What? And do what with me?" She cupped her throat. "Would they force me to mate you if I decide I don't want to? Would they—?" They wouldn't try to make me have his kids...would they?

The Council was made up of demons...archaic, patriarchal, primitive beings who thrived on power trips. She wouldn't put it past them to perform atrocities and call them the greater good.

"I'd like to see them fuckin' try," Inuyasha spat. When her vision went blank and she flinched under the increasing agony of her headache, Inuyasha scooped both of her hands in his. "Listen, Kagome, there's somethin' else I haven't told you, and it's technically somethin' that's never to be spoken of outside of Nocturne Tower, and never to anyone outside of the royal family and Council, but I don't give a fuck right now. I don't ever wanna keep anythin' from you ever again."

She gulped ostensibly. "What is it?"

Inuyasha looked physically uncomfortable before he opened his mouth to speak. His grip tightened on her hands. "Do you remember that story Myoga told you on our date? When we were in the elevator?"

"He told me a few things that night," she said, narrowing her throbbing eyes as if it could help her think better. "Which one in particular are you thinking of? The one about the magical woman in the forest?"

Inuyasha nodded. "The Lady of the Forest."

The name triggered Kagome's memory. "She had a wishing pearl that demons sought out," Kagome said, recollecting Myoga's story from last week. "She granted demons' most desperate desires." Kagome huffed a feigned laugh. "You bringing this up, Inuyasha, to tell me that this woman with her magic jewel really exists and I could use it to heal myself without having to mate you?"

Inuyasha dropped her hands. His face fell and Kagome felt winded from his reaction. "She's real," he said reservedly, coolly. "The Lady of the Forest really exists, Kagome."

Kagome stared at him gape-mouthed for a second before a flare of wooziness had her bowing into her arms against the countertop. "Bullshit," she muttered into the marble surface.

"It's not bullshit," Inuyasha argued, his voice tight. "When the eastern and western demon kingdoms came together to form the Demon Empire that my dad ruled, he ran into her."

"He ran into her?" Kagome taunted, turning her head from the nest of her arms to look at him. "Just stumbled upon her in the forest one day, did he?"

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "I don't know the details, you brat," he scoffed, "but all I know is that my old man knew her. It was around the time when modernizing humans became greedy for land and industrialization. The Lady of the Forest saw what my dad had been able to accomplish in merging demon clans across the two hemispheres and she agreed to enter into a bargain with him. She told him that if he found a way to protect her forest, to ensure it always thrived and outlived mortal ambition, she would grant my dad use of her wishing pearl."

Kagome sat up from her seat, her eyes fixed on Inuyasha.

This couldn't be true, could it? It sounded too fantastical. Myoga spoke about the Lady of the Forest like a children's story! A fairytale.

How could this possibly be real?

A wave of nausea rolled across Kagome's stomach and she gagged before resting her forehead against the cool marble. Inuyasha stepped closer to rub gentle strokes up and down her back.

"Demon territories became cleaved and protected areas across human settlements," he continued in his soothing rumble. "My dad strategically chose the Lady's forest as demon territory in this part of Japan, and Nocturne Tower was constructed so my dad could hold up his end of the bargain. So she granted him a wish."

Inuyasha cupped her forehead beneath her bangs to feel her tepid flesh. He frowned, observing her skin was clammy, increasingly hotter. Kagome smiled up at him for his concern and tenderness. "What did he wish for, your dad?"

"That she would always look after his family and that every future generation of Taisho born would be able to make a wish on her pearl."

Kagome blinked at him, like it took a few seconds for that statement to land. "He wanted everyone to be able to make a wish?"

"Never enter into bargains with witches, Kagome," Inuyasha snidely joked, "'cause you gotta be specific as fuck or else."

"She manipulated the terms of your dad's wish?"

"Sort of. See, the Jewel of Four Souls will only grant one wish per soul, and only a mated pair is considered a full soul. Which means that only demons who are mated can make a wish on the jewel. Apparently it was some fine print bullshit that my dad didn't realize right away, which is why the Lady phrased it as makin' a bargain with him. He wasn't mated when he found her, so he technically shouldn't've been able to use the wishing pearl.

"At the time, he hadn't met my mom, let alone mated her, and he wouldn't for many, many decades; honestly, maybe even a century—I can't remember the specifics of when he met the Lady. But eventually, my dad met my mom and, once they completed the mating ceremony, they learned that my mom got to make a wish thanks to dad's wish all those years ago."

"Do you know what your mom wished for?"

Inuyasha smiled sadly. "Infertility runs in the family. After years of her and my dad trying, my mom decided to use her wish to have me."

Tears pooled in Kagome's eyes and she squeezed Inuyasha's hand without saying anything more.

After a moment passed and more sweat began to pool along Kagome's brow, Inuyasha cupped her cheek to examine her face and continued. "So the Taishos are considered a blessed demon family by the Council, which means the Demon Council wants to do everythin' in their power to guarantee the continuation of the family line. They want to ensure future generations of Lord Generals can benefit from a magical wish thanks to my dad's bargain with the Lady of the Forest.

"With Sesshoumaru having mated a human, the topic of his immortality has been a sensitive one with Rin. So, he's promised her that once they complete the mating ceremony, and they can use their wishes, Sesshoumaru's wish will be to make Rin immortal."

Kagome's mouth fell open. "She's gonna become a demon?"

"No, just an immortal. She'll never age, or maybe Sesshoumaru will link their lifeforces or somethin'. I didn't fully listen to the details when he announced his plan durin' a Council meeting. But yeah, he's usin' his wish for Rin rather than for anything related to bein' Lord General. The Council's pretty salty about it."

"Has Rin said anything about her w—?"

"I told you how infertility runs in the family... Rin is saving her wish in case she and Sesshoumaru can't—"

"She wants kids," Kagome finished for him.

"She does," Inuyasha said with a nod.

Kagome pressed her closed eyes into her forearm in hopes of lessening the pressure behind them. "Even though kids're just meant to grant your family more chances to stay in power over demons? Wow—I don't know what to say to that."

When Inuyasha's hand stroked her lower back and drew her attention, she pushed up on her hands to rise from the counter. His shoulders fell beneath the weight of his exhale, and he brushed Kagome's bangs from her forehead, wearing a tender expression that had her heart bursting with loveliness.

Kagome offered him the best mischievous smile she could muster in her worsening state. She pressed her cheek into his large palm when his touch settled there. "What about you? What's your wish?"

"Only mated souls can wish, remember? Hence the Council pushin' to find my mate—to find you." Inuyasha laced their hands together and kissed the back of her hand. "The Council wants me to become full demon, so I can be the official contingency plan without havin' to stress about siring heirs. Become immortal and a full-blooded demon so I can be even stronger than I am now and a better successor to the throne if it ever comes to that."

Kagome stared at him thoughtfully. It was obvious from Inuyasha's tone he didn't like the idea. "You don't seem happy about that."

Inuyasha shrugged, dropping his hand from her face like he just caught himself touching her. "It makes sense. Plus, I'm fuckin' miserable as a half-demon, so bein' able to finally pick a side doesn't sound so bad. Bein' a full blood may not be my first choice, but bein' stronger wouldn't be terrible, and immortality is nothin' to sneeze at."

Kagome stared up at him. Her eyes fell closed with a sigh when Inuyasha disappeared for a moment to turn off the rest of the valence lights and sconces in the kitchen. It made her throbbing head feel a lot better when their bodies were cast in nothing but the faint yellow-coral glow of the rangehood light.

"If the Council didn't have dibs on your wish, what would you want to wish for?"

Inuyasha snorted. "I've been told I'd be usin' my wish to become a full blood my whole life. I've never really given it much thought."

Kagome wondered if there was any truth to that statement or not, but she didn't have the stamina for that argument to ask. "And what about me?" she asked.

He blinked at her, confusion evident on his face. "What about you?"

"If I went through with mating you, I'd get a wish too, no?"

Inuyasha blinked again. "Ye-yeah..."

"So, what would my wish have to be? Since the Council seems to think they have a right to determine your life and play you and your mate like an instrument, I just assumed they'd have a wish picked out for your mate too."

"Your wish has never been discussed before," he said with a shrug. "I guess you could wish for whatever you want." He scoffed and turned away from her sharply. "But that would require you to mate me and probably be with me and all that entails, so it's not lookin' likely that either of us will be wishin' for shit anytime soon."

Silence fell between them as a rush of dizziness stole centre stage and left Kagome feeling weak and nauseated. "This is so much, Inuyasha," she cried with a wince as the pain in her body, in her head, intensified. "Between being your mate, having to either be sick or commit to completing the bond, and now all this about a wish? I just—it's so much..."

His stoniness melted instantly, like he couldn't stay upset with her if he tried. Inuyasha enveloped her in a tender but firm embrace. "I know. I'm so sorry, darlin'. I wish bein' with me, being my mate, could be different for you, but I can't help that." He exhaled a heavily self-deprecating breath into her hair, warming her scalp. "Not much of a fuckin' prize, am I?"

"I always liked the idea of being your mate, Inuyasha. You'd be the best prize," she argued in a weak voice, leaning into her arms on the counter. She stifled a sigh as dizziness made it hard to focus her thoughts. "Do you want to be with me?"

"I've wanted to be with you since I met you."

"Inuyasha..."

"What? It's true! In some capacity, I always knew I needed to find a way to keep you. I need you, Kagome. I don't want to let you go. I don't wanna watch you leave me or become sick. I don't wanna spend the rest of my life knowin' what I've done to you and—"

Kagome forced herself to sit up and Inuyasha's arms were right there to catch her when she tipped over. "I'm not going to be sick forever, Inuyasha," she said, wiping small teardrops from her cheeks and forcing strength and resolve into her voice. She spoke slowly because the words were fast to disappear in the growing fog of her mind. "I might be upset about all this, but I can't deny I still want you. It's chemistry, isn't it? It's in my blood and apparently determined by the universe that I'm supposed to be your mate. I don't have to be thrilled with it, but I'm not an idiot or ignorant enough to ignore it." She turned to face him. Kagome opened her mouth to say something else but found herself stalling as more memories of her conversation with Rin raced into her mind.

He said he would've mated her to trigger the bond because his position requires that of him, but that he wouldn't be with his mate during my lifespan.

Suddenly, Kagome had an idea. She couldn't stomach looking at him as her words rasped out. "I'll complete the mating bond with you, Inuyasha, because your position or royal standing requires it, but then I'm gonna need space for a while. I need to think about things."

Inuyasha's mouth dropped open at the same time his eyes widened and brows found a way to both rise and crease. He was shocked, to say the least. "But if you're my mate, I—"

Kagome wiped sweat from her brow and tears from her eyes. "I care about you, Inuyasha, and I've wished to be your mate. But you can't tell me I don't deserve time to come to terms with all this, to heal and to forgive you for how you've dropped all this on me, for misleading me and lying to me. I'll mate you. And I'll talk to your Council or whatever, but I need time to decide what I want after that."

Inuyasha opened and closed his mouth two, three times before it lingered closed a time. He looked like he either didn't know what to say or the words wouldn't come. Finally, in a muted voice, he said, "But...you've always said you wanted me, you—"

"You hurt me, Inuyasha," Kagome cried around a wince. "I was always scared you would and then I finally dropped my guard around you and it happened. And I can't even describe how I feel right now because everything just fucking hurts. I know it wasn't intentional, but sometimes the worst hurts aren't." She swiped at more tears that found their way onto her cheeks. "I still care about you, and I still want you, but it hurts to care about you. It fucking hurts to be with you. I need time to figure shit out."

"So...what? You're sayin' you'll be my mate but you're not gonna fuckin' be with me?"

"I don't know what I'm doing, Inuyasha," she cried out from behind clenched eyelids. "But all I know is it hurts to be around you right now. I can't think straight because my head is fucking pounding and I'm starting to feel really awful." Tears began to fall steadily down her cheeks. "Can you take me home? I wanna go home, Inuyasha."

"You called here your home earlier."

Kagome turned away from him, leaning on the counter. Her next words were muffled into her forearm. "Please just take me home so we can complete this thing between us and then leave me alone for a while."

"Kagome..."

"Please, Inuyasha. I'm so overwhelmed and my head's gonna explode, and I don't want to be here anymore."

Whether it was the Urge Sickness or a time warp or Kagome was just so devastated by all of Inuyasha's maddening reveals that day, Kagome couldn't say. But the next couple hours were a blur as Inuyasha gathered up her shit into her suitcase and slammed the front door closed behind him as he made his way to the parking garage. Angered he'd leave her alone in her ill state, Kagome took her time making the quiet, uncomfortable walk down to his car. She was full-on sobbing by the time Kagome made it to the Merc. The car was off and Inuyasha had just been sitting there, gripping the wheel, stewing.

That's all Kagome remembered about the ride to her apartment. Her wiping her snot and tears on the hem of her t-shirt, and the oppressive heat of Inuyasha's anger next to her. Eventually, he turned on the radio. It made Kagome cry harder, thinking the man she loved would rather drown out the sounds of her tears than engage her in conversation. But then again, things weren't great between them right now. She couldn't fault him for being upset and overwhelmed by not knowing what to do about it.

Inuyasha swiped her keys from her and let them in to Kagome's apartment. She stripped her clothes off her on way to her bedroom and collapsed, naked, into her sheets, sobbing into the familiar scent and comfort of her flannel-covered Queen.

When Inuyasha laid down on the bed beside her, a fiery ball of turmoil and angst, Kagome reached behind her neck and, after struggling a while, unclasped the Drop. It dangled from her fist as she held it out to Inuyasha.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Kagome's words were slurring now. "I'm gonna be wearing your mating bite, Inuyasha. I don't need this anymore."

Inuyasha tore the necklace from her grip and slapped it down on the bedside table nearest him. "I gave you that stupid fuckin' necklace as a sign that I wanna be with you forever, Kagome, because I lo—you know what? Forget it. I don't want it back, so just put it away somewhere safe. I can't say I care what you do with it."

Inuyasha practically leapt off the bed before ripping his t-shirt off. He rolled the organic cotton and cashmere into a tight ball and threw it into the corner of Kagome's bedroom.

Kagome was too tired and too sore and too delirious to observe every minute tell of Inuyasha's anguish and anger. All she saw was him beginning to undress and she thought the idea of cuddling with him sounded nice. "You coming to bed?" she asked him, her voice a dulcet muffle, heavily laced with delirium.

Inuyasha sneered at her words. "I'm gonna wait for you to pass the fuck out so I can wake your ass up with a matchin' bite on your other goddamn shoulder, and then I'm gonna get this bullshit outta the way."

"What bullshit?" She sighed, feeling the heat of his bare chest encroaching her side of the bed.

"I'm gonna mate you and then I guess walk away and watch you fuckin' leave me."

"Oh." Kagome paused to smile before resting her sweaty forehead against the centre of his chest. His heart sounded fast, like a rhythmic sound machine just for her. All she heard out of his mouth was that he was going to mate her. They'd be together Forever. Something in the back of her mind was telling Kagome she was supposed to be angry, or upset, or devastated, but all she felt was relief. Inuyasha was here, in bed with her, and he was going to mate her. "Okay," she crooned.

She pictured the breadth of his handsome, smug smile. The coarseness of well-set callouses tracing the curves of her skin. The silkiness of his silver tresses between her fingers. The stammer of his heart, a complementing double-time rhythm to the rise and fall of his muscled chest. She focused on how warm she felt, full of consolation, full of love, a seedling of absolution visible in the far off distance.

And then the darkness consumed her.