"What the hell was that all about" Marcus angrily throws the folder with my proposal on the table in the small boardroom where we are gathered. "Marcus please, you need to calm down, let Beatrice explain" my father tries to calm him down but doesn't succeed. I had never seen Marcus lose control like this before, although I had always suspected that behind the facade of the ideal citizen was this monster who screams and destroys everything in his path. Is this the Marcus from the newsletters that Erudite has wanted all of Chicago to see, is this the monster who abused his wife to the point of death, the one who pushed his son to the breaking point and that's why he abandoned his faction? I don't remember either of them, I was just a child the last time I saw them, but perhaps it is this vortex of rage that they saw within the gray walls of their home?
"Too far, you went too far, how dare you question the leaders of other factions and ride over yours" Out of the corner of my eye I see Susan cringe, she is so scared I wouldn't be surprised if all her effort was contained in disappearing from this room, but I am not afraid, I said what I had to say: the initiation of Dauntless is out of control, its new and old members are being threatened by the foolish actions of their leaders and their trainers. Someone has to put a stop to it. Maybe I'm just an 18 year old girl working as an ambassador and in training to one day be a leader, the day that happens I won't be anything like Marcus, bending to the impositions of others, being a coward. Shit, I hope I still have the 'privilege' of my training, that's if Marcus doesn't kill me first, I think that's what he's thinking.
"Beatrice what's going on, how did we get to this?" my father tries to keep his tone composed, but I know he's angry, not as angry as Marcus but maybe he just knows how to hold back better than he does.
"As I explained a few moments ago, I did some detailed research and the numbers don't lie, Dauntless has changed their initiation methods and less and less members are being accepted. I believe it is in everyone's best interest, for the faction in charge of security to provide just that, both within their compound and throughout the rest of the city" I would be lying if I said I wasn't proud of myself for coming to that conclusion in a matter of seconds to lend weight to my proposal. With the eyes of everyone on the council on me, I managed to make my points without letting on the nerves I felt at the time. "Chicago history doesn't lie, I'm not proposing anything that didn't exist before." I say without taking my eyes off Marcus, it may intimidate the rest of Abnegation, but it's not going to bend me.
"This is absurd, you have no right to meddle where you're not wanted" Marcus spits. "Isn't that the reason why ambassadors, the council of each faction and these meetings exist? To reach agreements so that everyone in this city lives better" I let my voice have an innocent tone, as if I don't know I just did something wrong but I only do it to tease him even more. Maybe it's suicidal of me to push Marcus to the limit, just to find out how far he can go. If he blows up, all the better for me, I don't trust him.
"Beatrice, supervisions between factions were suspended many years ago. The world doesn't work the same, it's not that easy." My father tries to mediate between his boss and his daughter, I'm not sure I know which side he wants him to win. "It's stupid and you've made us all look like idiots" I wonder how many hairs Marcus has already pulled out of his head just in these few minutes we've been in the room. "The others took it into consideration, maybe we all wanted this but no one dared to put it into words..." i'm tired of this discussion already, everything now depends on what the majority says, not Marcus, this is not just his decision and that's what's bothering him.
"Of course the others don't care, as long as it's not their faction they just exposed in front of everyone" in that Marcus is right, Candor and Amity will do anything as long as they don't expose themselves or their people; although I must agree I didn't expect Erudite to take it as calmly as they did. Some of the courage I felt in that room I must accept, came from the smirks both Uriah and Will threw at me along with a barely perceptible nod to the others as a way of agreeing to my proposal. "And if tomorrow the majority votes yes then what Beatrice, what do you think is going to happen?" Marcus' tone is almost dangerous, like a threat.
"Then someone will have to go to Dauntless to oversee their initiation" and I hope it's you, from what they say, it's pretty dangerous, I yell in my head.
TOBIAS POV.
I drop into the chair, I'm exhausted. A whole week preparing for the initiation, checking equipment, setting up bunks and cleaning the dorms. I start to feel pressure in my temples, my body is begging for a break and we haven't even started training, two more days of false peace and then 12 weeks of shouting and frightening initiates, well, maybe that will make it all worth it.
Lauren plops down in the chair next to mine, she was putting together welcome packages, as we still don't know how many initiates we will have, they always make 100, any unused ones get thrown away.
"Do you want us to start going over the training schedule?" I can hear my same tiredness in her voice. "Honestly no, but I think we'd better get that over with. I want to sleep early today" I tell her as I start to pull out the tablet where the schedule for the 12 weeks ahead of us is. "Puff, it's all work and no play with you huh four, shouldn't you want to drink till you pass out like the rest of us?" I don't even bother to answer her, the perk of being me, is that with a raised eyebrow that's all the answer many here need. I've been in Dauntless for four years now and it amazes me how my friends still haven't absorbed that if I want something I ask for it myself, if I wanted to drink I don't need an invitation, shit, it's enough for me to stand next to someone who has a beer in their hand to get two without knowing from where.
"First day as usual we just have to scare the shit out of them until they want to cry..." I start to go over the calendar when the door slams open, Eric walks in and a bottle of beer bursts against the back wall. His eyes meet mine and they are full of hate, but that's nothing new, no one could mistake us as friends. I've never been afraid of him but I'm too tired to take his tantrums, after him Max walks in and he has the same look of hatred.
"Is something wrong?" Lauren asks fearing that our workload will somehow magically multiply.
"It's two days until initiation, what are you guys doing lounging around here, when you should be getting everything ready?" Eric doesn't care if everything is ready, he wants to fuck around, he's pissed the hell knows why and is looking for a fight, no, I correct, he's looking to fight me because he knows I know he's my boss and I can't smash his face in without there being consequences for me. I sigh, look him in the eye and say "We're on it..."
"Listen to me well both of you, this year I want no mercy. No protecting weak initiates. We don't need soft trash in this faction, if they can't stand us being hard on them, then we don't want them here, and that goes for any member of this faction!" Eric looks me straight in the eye, I'm not interested in his military speeches, it's no news that it's getting harder and harder to be a member here. Ever since that strange accident on the train tracks happened over a year ago and the other two leaders died, Eric has been spiraling out of control. Ordering physical tests for members of the compound, stepping up routine training and forcing random tests under the new simulation serum. It has never been easy to be dauntless but now it is as if we are constantly living in initiation, no one can afford a little weakness, those who have faltered disappear. They have us in a constant state of alert, I'd like to wipe that smug look off his face, all that power in one fell stroke.
"We know Eric, we know your standards to perfection and we don't train to be less than that" Lauren has always known how to treat him, for her it's easier, she's not his enemy, just someone beneath him. "Get out of here both of you, go do your jobs, get out!" Eric shouts, Max on the other hand is deep in thought, he just gives me a quick look, as if asking for understanding and for me to keep quiet.
I nod and gather my things to leave the boardroom, I look at my watch and see that it's seven o'clock. The others must already be in the dining room, I'd rather spend the rest of the night quietly and not think about the hell that is in store for us in the next few weeks. "Four" Eric calls me as I'm about to leave '"Just so you know, this year again I will supervise with you the transfers" I sigh, two years ago he did the same thing, but this time there is something different, there is something dangerous in his gaze, I just allow myself to feel bad for a few seconds for the assholes that in two days will choose this faction as their new home. It's not that I don't care about them but there's not much I can do for them without knowing them, my priority is my dauntless family, my friends and I are in the same danger as everyone else as long as Eric is our leader.
The dining room is partially full, I see that at our usual table are Zeke, Shauna, Lynn and Christina. Lauren says goodbye as she walks over to a table where several girls are at. They all look at me but I'm not interested in acknowledge them, it's been long days and I'm not in the mood to endure the stares and insinuations of all the women who are only looking for one thing from me: my body, my face. "Hey" I greet the others as I sit down and begin to help myself some food from the trays the others put out for all of us to eat. "Where are the others?"
"Marlene is still on shift and Uriah and Will should be here any minute, I saw on the surveillance cameras when they all came in together. Eric looked pretty friendly" Zeke tells me laughing. "Yes, very friendly" I reply without much encouragement. Uriah and Will enter the dining room and approach our table, they look exhausted.
"Long day?" Zeke teases them both. They both raise their shoulders in response, Christina hugs Will and starts kissing his face, I look away. Four years here and I'm still not used to public displays of affection. Not that I've never made mistakes and given them myself, but the few times it happened I can blame on the tons of alcohol Zeke and I irresponsibly ingested, and never after those moments did I feel the need to acknowledge any kisses or touches I've given in my drunkenness. I know that has contributed to my reputation as a jerk but I don't care, none of those girls ever interested me to formalize anything. In my head they don't matter, unfortunately when alcohol is involved, my body rules.
"Are you guys going to tell us what happened at the meeting today or not?" Shauna asks impatiently. I haven't spent time with my friends in the last few days because I've been working so I have no idea what she's talking about. "Ask Uriah, he's like a kid at Christmas today" Will says as he eats a bite. We all look at Uriah prompting him to talk.
"Let's just say today the vein in Eric's temple was about to finally explode" says Uriah laughing "She actually did it, I didn't think she was capable but she submitted the proposal today..." her? What the hell are they talking about, last time I checked the entire Dauntless council was made up of men, or is he referring to Jeanine? This interests me, I've been watching the secret meetings our leaders have with the leader of Erudite for too long. "So?" asks Zeke impatiently. "It was voted in favor, she actually made it, someone from Abnegation is coming to oversee the initiation into Dauntless" What?", I can't help but shudder at hearing the name of my former faction, thinking of it brings me right back to him, shit.
"Motherfucker, how did she convince them?" Zeke asks in awe. I'm completely lost in this conversation, does Jeanine want someone from Abnegation to come here, why? " She reminded them all that at one time it was common for supervisions to be done. She insisted on the problem of the overpopulation of the factionless" shit, I can't think about them either, my mother is not a pleasant subject for me either. I really live in my fucking Dauntless bubble and even here I can't be calm. " She presented a statement from a Dauntless exile who talked about how hard initiation was and how brutal the trainers are" What? now it's my fault, what the fuck are they talking about.
"Care to explain that buddy?" I say to Uriah in my serious tone and with the face everyone calls 'Four face', the one I use mostly with initiates or anyone who wants to fuck with me. "Hey, for all I know she could be referring to Eric two years ago who oversaw our initiation, don't look at me I didn't say it" Uriah says holding up his hands in a 'I give up' sign. "Then who did say it?" I ask "The Ambassador of Abnegation, catch up Four" Will says in a mocking tone, I shoot him the most threatening look I have and he lowers his gaze shrinking back in his seat. "Four has been a workaholic the last few weeks, he doesn't know what we're talking about" Zeke says laughing, he loves watching me bully the others, he thinks it's funny.
"So who's coming?" asks Shauna impatiently. I understand her, she's worried. It's a year before Hector her younger brother is an initiate, with the way things are around here it's a pretty dangerous thing even for someone born in Dauntless. No matter how hard Lauren and I try, the danger is imminent for everyone. "They haven't decided yet but Uriah expects it to be her" Will says mockingly. "I don't expect anything, but I wouldn't mind if it was her" replies Uriah blushing? Who are we talking about, I don't understand anything.
"That's because you're hopelessly in love with her Uriah" says Christina bending over with laughter. "Fuck you!" replies Uriah as his cheeks get even redder and he plays with his food like it's the most interesting thing at that moment. "Didn't you try one day to bring him a slice of Dauntless cake? And you ended up eating it yourself because you chicken out?" Will tells him raising his eyebrows as if mocking him, everyone at the table laughs. "She told me the food in Abnegation was horrible, I just wanted to be a good teammate and I didn't chicken out, just that her dad was there and I didn't want to get her in trouble" who are we talking about?, true, the food is barely edible but... Uriah is in love with an Abnegation girl? That would be a first.
"Will someone please explain to me who we're talking about?" this conversation is starting to irritate me. "About Tris, she's one of Abnegation's ambassadors. I don't like her she's just a good friend, I would appreciate if you guys didn't joke about it anymore, I'm trying to fix things with Marlene" they broke up over a year ago and I don't know if messing with any girl willing to do anything is the best way to fix things '"we became friends because she's not like the other members of Abnegation, she's different, funny and brave" wow, someone funny in Abnegation, now that's something new.
"Is she the girl who is in training to be leader Uriah?" asks Lynn, and I can't help but feel a knot in my stomach, if this girl is training to be leader, it means she works directly with Marcus, shit, she sure worships him just like everyone in that stupid faction and if so then I don't want her here supervising my work as if she was better than me, as if she knows what is right and what is wrong... "yes but I think it's more an obligation than something she does for pleasure " says Uriah laughing. Tris, Tris... I don't remember anyone being called that, it's not a common name in that place, but there's no way I know who she is, I never attended any events, I didn't even go to school regularly, Marcus made perfectly sure that no one knew the kind of education he gave inside our house, besides if she's an ambassador it's because she's Uriah's age and that means she's younger than me.
"So that means that definitely someone important from the government will come and be able to see everything that is going on here right?" Shauna asks '"It has to be someone more important than an ambassador, maybe someone from the leader's circle?" she continues and I feel like they throw cold water on me, what if they decide to have Marcus oversee the initiation because he is the leader of not only Abnegation, but Chicago. Zeke turns to look at me with concern, he does it because only he knows, he knows everything that son of a bitch did to me for years, will I be able to control myself if I see him face me or will all the muscles and strength I have gained in these four years be reduced to nothing and I will go back to being the same scared kid his father locked in the hall closet, the kid who begged to die to stop hurting?…