Every inch of her skin felt warm and flushed. The heat from the party-goers combined with the slight strain of five dances in a row made the Senator pant softly. She really had to get out more! Her heart thrummed wildly in her chest – this was just about the most fun Padme had had in a long, long time. Maybe even since Sola's wedding… The Republic galas she attended were always so formal and stuffy – no one ever let loose and properly enjoyed themselves like this.
"Alright," she gasped in a short breath, "I think I could use a break now." Varlo laughed and nodded his quiet agreement, taking Padme's hand and beginning to lead her off the floor. All around them, she noticed stares and whispers. People glanced at them strangely. How odd… Surely it wasn't that odd to see her spending time with a man!
"Why don't we step outside for a moment?" Varlo looked around them and grimaced, "I don't know about you, but the cool air would be a welcome sensation after all that dancing."
Cooler air and some privacy away from prying eyes, Padme understood the unspoken invitation beneath Varlo's words and smiled. She was glad he seemed to enjoy privacy too, it was never a good sign when a potential date thrived upon the attention her status brought. "Yes," she nodded, "I think that might be a good idea."
With another of his charming smiles, the Senator's nephew laid his warm palm upon the small of Padme's back and began guiding her through the wall of finely dressed beings. Tulles and satins and velvets brushed over her skin as they walked, limbs knocked into her and more than one high heel trod on her toes. It wasn't an easy fight leaving the dance floor but the moment one of the two estate guards swung upon the garden doors, the Senator was glad she'd agreed to come. Glorious cool air breathed against her skin, chasing away the sweaty heat of inside in a wonderful, chilly embrace. It was paradise.
She wanted to throw her arms in the air and move around, further enjoying herself but Varlo might think she was a madwoman… no, best to keep on her best behaviour for now.
The guard closed the door securely behind them, granting Padme and Varlo the solace of privacy and a shield from the nosey gazes and rumour mill inside. A few moments alone to get to know each other better, maybe this was all she needed to find the kinds of feelings she had been chasing all night. Sure, when she first met Anakin it had felt like her stomach would leap out of her throat but it was just an intense crush, that was all. There was nothing real there – or mutual for that matter. She couldn't keep comparing Varlo to a fantasy.
"Tell me about yourself, Senator," Varlo stepped closer, backing her body against the elaborate, curving balcony and trapping her with his own. "I want to know all about you."
Still no thrill but now there was something that felt… off. Inside of her, Padme's instincts seemed to tense and shake their head in warning but that was silly! She was just nervous to be alone with him, that was all. There was a large party just beyond the doorway – what was there to be nervous about? Still, her skin prickled. Her body felt on edge.
Padme tried to shake off the feeling though it held firm and grew unshakable roots deep inside her stomach, "you seem very interested in me, but I don't know anything about you." As hard as she tried to keep her voice light and carefree as before, it fell flat even to her own ears.
Varlo chuckled lightly, either unaware of Padme's growing discomfort or choosing to ignore it entirely. It only made her tenser. "When did it become such a terrible thing for a man to express his interest in a beautiful woman? Especially such a particularly elusive one such as yourself…" Despite his laughter, something not so charming flashed within the icy paleness of his eyes. He looked almost… irritated.
"I…" She cleared her throat awkwardly and spared a short glance between Varlo and the doorway to the ballroom. It was fine, all she had to do was excuse herself and head back inside. It wouldn't be difficult to get lost in the mix of the crowd and avoid him for the remainder of the evening. The spell of romance Padme had been so determined to build shattered around her. What was she thinking anyway? As much as she secretly wished she was, she simply wasn't the woman who met a handsome man and had a great, intimately romantic night. It wasn't her. "I assure you, there are far more interesting people inside than me."
He looked over his shoulders questioningly for a moment. "You mean that group of self-serving, simple-minded fools who believe everything they read on the holo-net? Don't be ridiculous. I like a woman who can think for herself and see the truth. I'm surprised they have the gall to show up at all this evening considering what that bitch said." Padme could only watch on in confusion as he seethed before her. What was he talking about? The Hedsard ball was an annual celebration so many people loved and sought to attend. As she tried to make sense of his words, Varlo continued, "You're a smart woman but something about you confuses me, Senator. You could have had an easy life on Naboo. Gods know the voice of the Senate is barely a whisper in our invisible Emperor's ear these days – it certainly has no authority. So why bother? Why not find a wealthy man to take care of you and live joyously instead."
Padme's jaw tightened more and more furiously as Varlo spoke on. Who did he think he was to speak to her this way? She wasn't sure which part she liked the least, his belief that women existed only to attract a rich man's attention or that the Senate's importance was merely a game of pretend. His very own uncle was a Senator in the same Senate she served, was Vinnis merely wasting his time also? Or was he just ignorant and sexist? "I don't think you understand women or politicians, Varlo." She snapped angrily.
He appeared shocked for a moment before bowing his head gracefully, "of course, I'm sorry, Padme… I shouldn't speak about things I have no knowledge of. Forgive me, please? I would love for you to enlighten me." His eyes had calmed and though his voice never quivered, she didn't believe there was truth in his words. Maybe he was just a fool in a fancy suit trying to salvage his shot with her. If that was the case, it was definitely too late, any excitement or attraction she might have had felt had been thoroughly quashed.
A tense moment of quiet passed. The awkwardness was throttling.
"Senator, if I have offended you, I truly didn't intend to," Varlo spoke softly as he lifted a hand to caress a strand of her hair between his thumb and forefinger, tracing its length and watching the descent closely. "I would like to salvage our evening if you're willing." Whatever appeal and charisma had charmed her before had vanished. The Senator's nephew only made Padme wince and cringe away…
"I'm not offended, Varlo." She tried to sound casual as best she could. "Though I think it would be best if we go back inside, I'm getting a little cold." It was a sorry, fumbling excuse but under the circumstances, it was the best she could do. Once inside, she would find Dorme and they could leave. Tonight had been one disappointment after another and she was ready for a warm bath and bed to end it already.
This is what happens when you let your fantasies carry you away, Padme.
"You don't have to be inside to be warm," Varlo mumbled and shifted closer, pressing her body into the balcony harshly. His large palms took her shoulders and travelled up and down the short valley from there to her elbows. "Mm, you really are an exquisite thing in that dress… I haven't been able to tear my eyes off you all night. There's almost nothing I wouldn't give to see you out of it."
Shoving her palms against his chest, Padme pushed him back so firmly that the surprise of it made Varlo stumble backwards a few steps. "Enough!" The voice of Senator Amidala left her mouth now, not Padme. Firm and decisive, leaving no room for arguments. "You're making me uncomfortable."
He glared childishly, rolling his eyes as if she'd said something ridiculous. "Look, I said I'm sorry if I offended you. Isn't that enough? C'mon, baby, let's have some fun…" As he moved to approach her once more, Padme dodged Varlo's advance, slipping around his body so that she could reach the door but he caught her wrist, using his substantial strength to tug her backwards and into his arms.
"Hey – what are you –I'm not interested! Let me go right now!" She tried pushing him again, but he planted his feet and held firm. "If you don't let me go, I'll call for my security detail! Varlo, I mean it, I'm going inside." Her heart pounded in growing terror as this man refused to let go and snaked his arm around her waist instead, holding her body to his. Only now that the fog of excitement and her excruciating attempts to create something romantic of this evening had cleared, Padme realised the situation she'd found herself in. She should never have come out here without speaking to Dorme or Typho! What had she been thinking?
"Relax…. Relax, we're just having a good time… Don't worry about it." Varlo forcibly cupped her cheek, holding her in place as his neck began to bend, leaning down to plant his lips on hers. Padme struggled, trying to turn her head left and then right, to break out of his unwanted embrace before –
The doorway behind her flew open with a sudden crash that saw Varlo all but leap in panic, allowing Padme a moment to stumble away from him, chest heaving raggedly. Thank the Gods for whoever had come to –
She gasped as Anakin rushed out onto the balcony. Everyone froze at the sight of each other and she flushed as gutting humiliation swept over her to imagine what this must look like to the Prince. He'd stumbled across her wrapped tightly in Varlo's embrace out in the absolute privacy of the gardens where his uncle's guards watched over the doorway. It had to look like a lover's embrace… Oh Gods, she could die right here!
Anakin stood straight and tugged at his navy suit jacket to straighten it in the resounding silence that fell upon the three of them. His blue eyes were cold as he glared at Varlo. Padme felt caught between a dream and a horrendous nightmare. She had wanted to see him all night and this was how he found her?
"Is everything alright, Senator?" The Prince asked distantly, narrowing his furious gaze toward the host's nephew who at once fell into an overly dramatic bow, sweeping out his arms in a mocking display of respect.
"Your majesty, I meant to say before, it's an honour to host you and Prince Vader in our humble home…" Varlo stood straight with a knife grin plastered upon his foul mouth. "Padme and I were just enjoying a moment of privacy away from all the prying eyes inside. I'm sure you can understand."
Finally, Anakin dragged his eyes from Varlo to Padme and at once the hardness within his gaze softened. Her stupid, traitorous heart leapt at the mere sight of him and as badly as she wished to pretend it was only relief at his interruption, she knew the truth.
She was deeply, hopelessly in love with him… Gods help her, how was she supposed to deal with this?
"I was looking for you," he said quietly, "I thought I might ask for the next dance, if you're willing?"
All at once, Padme's stomach dropped and her heart leapt up into her throat. Somehow, her infamous ability to craft words into sentences utterly failed her, leaving the Senator gaping like a fool. "I, uh… Oh um, yes! Yes, of course, your grace!"
A dance! He wanted to dance with her! This was more than Padme had ever thought possible between them – the most she had ever imagined happening was a surprised glance as she came down the stairs and even that had felt like too much. But now she would be in his strong arms, close enough to him to murmur privately in her ear if he wished, to share a joke perhaps. Steady excitement climbed inside of her. She couldn't wait for Dorme to see and for the squealing conversations they'd have about this moment for hours to come.
Without a backwards glance at the nerf-herder behind her, Padme approached the Prince and slid her trembling hand into the crook of his elbow when he offered. Even now, this innocent, casual touch set her every nerve aflame. Being so close to him felt both like leaping off the tallest point of the Senate rotunda and the most natural thing in the galaxy at once.
"Um, excuse me!" Varlo hissed as Anakin made to step back inside. Helpless against it, Padme felt herself tense at the mere sound of him, especially with the anger which coated his tone now. "The Senator was with me. I called dibs, your grace… C'mon, a little respect!"
Dibs…? He called dibs? Indignation lit like a flame inside the Senator and she felt a flush of rage paint her face. How dare he speak about her like that? She was a woman – a person, not a toy he claimed in a playpark. More than that, Padme was an esteemed Senator of one of the most influential systems in the galaxy! Her rank demanded more respect than this piece of filth had given her all night! Dragging her hand free of Anakin's arm, she stormed back to Varlo, clenching her hand together until her knuckles turned white beneath the pressure. The very moment she came close enough, the Senator swung her closed fist at him as hard as she could manage. Pain exploded across her knuckles so powerfully that her eyes began to sting – damn that hurt! It never looked like that in the holo-vids!
"What the – " Varlo screeched as he frantically held his nose in both hands as warm blood spurted from his nostrils, oozing between his fingers and dripping onto his shoes. Despite the secretive thrill of pride filling her, Padme scrunched up her face in disgust at the sight. "You bitch! Who the hell do you think you are?! You're nothing but a cock-tease anyway! Who'd have you?"
"Consider your words more carefully," Anakin said calmly, "or she might do it again. Looks like our Senator here has one hell of a punch and I don't think you can handle it twice." When she looked at him, the Prince gave a sly wink and despite everything, Padme smiled, just barely holding back a small peel of laughter. "Now, about that dance?"
"Yes," she said, returning to his side even as her fist throbbed in dull agony. "I'm looking forward to it."
Anakin led her back inside the warm ballroom, neither bothering to look back at Varlo despite his whining protests. If she was fortunate, she wouldn't have to see that man again tonight or ever again. It was bad enough that she would have to face his uncle in the Senate in a few days. Padme expected Anakin to lead her to the dancefloor but instead, he tore through the happy crowd of party-goers without care of who he pushed or shoved out of the way. A girl squealed as he nudged a glass of red wine out of her hands and over her pristine white dress but he didn't seem to notice nor stop for a moment. The Senator had to hurry to keep pace with him and it was becoming a bit of an effort beneath her dress.
"I'm glad you came outside when you did," Padme said as she caught up enough to walk beside him.
"I was looking for you," he growled, "when Vader told me you went out there with him, I thought for a minute you'd gone off to be alone together." His voice sounded strained and flat for once and he kept his eyes trained ahead as he spoke. The playfulness of before seemed to have vanished completely and as they walked further away from the dance floor she felt her heart begin to sink a little.
His words made her flinch. They stung. Is that really what he thought about her? That she would sneak out into the gardens of a party for intimacy where anyone might find her? With a relative stranger, no less?"What? Don't be ridiculous, I wouldn't do that here – especially not with him."
He still didn't meet her eye as they walked, "you two seemed friendly enough out there before he acted like a bantha's ass."
Friendly? She wanted to spit the word back in his face. "No! That's not what… he was horrible, I was desperate to – "
"What's your handmaiden's name?" Anakin cut her off so suddenly, it was all she could do to blink at him for a moment as they finally stopped storming through the building. In the entranceway to the ball, nobody was lingering around to hear whatever was about to happen between them. Padme wasn't sure how to feel about that now.
"She's called Dorme. Why?"
"Dorme!" The Prince roared at once having spotted the other woman a little further down the hallway with Captain Typho. As they rushed toward them, Padme felt something sour in her stomach at his perception of what had happened out there. That wasn't how she wanted Anakin to think of her – he had to know Varlo's advances were the furthest thing from desired by her.
"Look, what happened out there – "
"You don't need to explain yourself to me, Padme," Anakin said, his tone becoming gentler than before. His blue eyes returned to her own, softer this time and though she saw no judgement within them, that didn't make her feel any better. "You're an adult, you can do whatever you want."
"My lady!" Dorme cried out before she could respond, throwing her arms around Padme with frantic, relieved breath. "Oh my lady, we've been looking everywhere for you! Typho was about to clear the party and bring in the others! Are you alright? Did something happen?"
"My sincerest apologies, Senator," Typho bowed his head, "I shouldn't have taken my eyes off you. I failed in my duty this evening. had anything happened, the blame would have been solely on myself."
Shaking her head, Padme wrapped one arm around Dorme and laid her palm on her Captain's shoulders. "No, no, I'm fine! Don't worry! I was just outside. There's nothing to worry about! It's my fault, really. I should have let you know where I was going."
"And who with," Anakin muttered, folding his arms over his chest.
At once, both Typho and Dorme seemed to see through their overwhelming relief enough to truly comprehend who had called them over. Padme watched her friend and Captain exchange a hurried glance before falling into deep apologetic bows. "Your grace!" Dorme squeaked, "I'm sorry, I didn't – "
"Who is Varlo Hedsard?" Anakin demanded, "beyond being Senator Vinnis' nephew, can either of you tell me who he is? Or perhaps why he should have been on both your radars this evening?
Dorme paled at the Prince's question, obviously unaware of the answer as her mouth opened and closed silently again and again. Padme stepped in front of her friend with an audible clicking of her heels on the marble flooring and glared at him. What was the point of the question? How was anyone supposed to know Varlo was a bad person who disguised himself beneath such charm? It certainly wasn't Dorme or Typho's fault she had gotten caught up in the moment.
"I don't see how that's of any importance." It was difficult not to grimace while she spoke as the pain in her hand seemed to grow worse by the moment. It felt swollen and stiff and was likely forming a gigantic bruise she would have to explain away when they returned home. She just hoped none of the paparazzi-droids caught it in their pictures.
"I thought it was their job to keep you safe, Senator," Anakin pointed a harsh finger at Typho and Padme glanced at her friend over her shoulder. She knew how seriously he took his position. It had been appointed to him personally by the King and came with great honour, so his competency being called into question had to feel like a blade in his chest. "Am I wrong?"
"Your grace," Typho began hesitantly, "my duty in protecting Senator Amidala is of the utmost importance to me. I would never knowingly put her in any danger."
"And yet," Anakin growled, "neither of you are aware of who you allowed her to spend her evening with. Varlo Hedsard is a damned woman-beater, abuser and has more and more allegations coming out by the minute from what I'm hearing... and you let her go out there with him alone!"
Wait… what? Padme's eyes widened in horror. Varlo did what? He had hurt someone he was connected with? Her stomach sank with dread. Oh, Gods… if this was public knowledge and she'd been with him all night, laughing and dancing and...
Suddenly, all the stares and whispers began to make sense.
Humiliation swelled within her. Gods, it was going to be everywhere that she supported that man! That she knew what people because of his actions and flirted with him anyway! It was no wonder he was so comfortable grabbing at her against her will outside and why her consent seemed to matter so little. "Dorme…" She turned to look at her friend helplessly. Despite her best efforts, a flicker of anger came over her. This should never have been allowed to happen! Her very reputation could be ruined after this because her staff hadn't done the appropriate research? Were they kidding?
"My lady, I'm so sorry!" Dorme shook her head, gaping desperately, "I – I looked through the guestlist several times, I swear it! I – I just must have missed the news coming out and… I know it's not an excuse, Padme, I do. We'll fix it though, I promise. I'll go comm with the team back on Coruscant and have them draft a statement asap!"
"I can't believe this is happening…" Padme rubbed her face over her hand. What if Varlo hadn't revealed himself to be the utter scum that he was? What if she'd kissed him and people saw? Maker, she was the head of several women's rights groups and she'd spent her night in the arms of an abuser.
"Calm down," Anakin said, "Look, my brother and I are leaving. I advise that you do too and start preparing whatever it is you need to for the morning news reels. Until you do though, Captain," his eyes fell on Typho, "do not let her out of your sight. Someone like that isn't going to easily let go of what happened out there." He was leaving? Of course, he was. Neither he or Prince Vader needed to be caught up in the Hedsard's messes. That was the smart decision – almost as smart as not attending at all, which is what she would have done had she known.
Most of all, Padme loathed how disappointed she felt about the dance he'd now obviously offered as a ruse to get her away from Varlo. How stupid was she? Deluding herself into believing her ridiculous feelings for him were mutual… She was worse than a little girl! Anakin had never shown anything close to interest and yet her heart leapt at every single look, every word or innocent touch. She wanted to cry! She wanted to scream. She couldn't keep going this way, it was destroying her.
"Oh," Anakin continued, "and someone get some ice for your lady's hand. Force knows she's going to need it. In the meantime, I'll have my assistant arrange for private transportation for you back to the hotel."
"Thank you," Padme dared a step toward him. Regardless of how disappointed she was, he'd gone out of his way to make sure that she was safe tonight – there weren't many people in her life who would have done the same thing. "I know you were looking out for me tonight and I – "
"That's the thing, Senator, I don't want to have to protect you. That's my point. Your staff should have this handled." His harsh words decimated her but his tone was even worse, flat, passionless and edging worryingly into disappointment, as if he'd expected more from her and she'd somehow failed by getting herself into this position. "What I want is for you to be the level-headed, smart woman I know you are. You were cornered by that creep out there, Padme! What would have happened had I not found you?"
"What?" Typho cried, glancing between Anakin and Padme in horror. "This – I'll have to report this to the King and Queen! To assault the Senator of – "
"No, Typho!" Padme held up her hand to silence him, "nobody else needs to know what happened tonight." She fought hard but her vision blurred in embarrassment and heartache. Padme dragged her eyes down to the carpet to regain some composure before trusting herself to speak again. Distantly, she was aware of Dorme's hand on her shoulder, silently supportive and apologetic. She knew how this had to feel but gratefully remained silent.
Calm down, she just needed to calm down… but how was she supposed to do that when all she wanted in the galaxy was to crawl into a quiet corner and cry until she had no more tears to give. And she wanted to scream at Anakin. To shove him and throw furious words at him until she was voiceless. All this time, all their interactions, secret smiles and work together, that was how he thought of her? A desperate, easily turned woman hiding behind her title?
"When…" her tight throat battled against speaking but Padme forced her words through, "when you came out there, your grace, I was not in a good position, I admit that. However," somehow, she found the strength to lift her gaze to meet Anakin's even as the tears still blurred her vision. "I am not unable to look after myself – I have been trained in self-defence by some of Naboo's finest fighters. I could have taken care of myself out there."
Slowly, the Prince lifted a curious eyebrow. "I'm glad to hear it."
Padme allowed herself to exhale shakily, fisting the sides of her dress tightly to stop them from shaking any further. "I don't need special treatment. I can handle myself."
"I didn't want to hurt your feelings," Anakin shifted closer and traced his fingers over her arm, "if I did, I'm sorry. You're a vital member of my father's Senate and I don't want to see anything happen to you, okay?" He came even closer and he towered above her short stature. It might have been intimidating if she weren't so upset already. Padme saw the tightening of his jaw, the way his fist clenched by his side and frowned. What was he fighting? Even after everything, her heart fluttered.
She wanted to touch him, lean up and whisper all that was in her heart, that even if he never wanted her in return, she wanted him to know that she would burn for him for the rest of her days. Padme loved him; she was sure of it, and that meant she had doomed herself to heartbreak. In time she could learn to accept that, but she had just never anticipated Anakin would cause her such pain directly.
When she didn't answer his quiet apology, Anakin sighed and turned away toward the estate's entranceway where a blonde woman frantically tapping into a datapad waited, gesturing for him to hurry up. Every step he took thundered in Padme's mind, she shook her head and felt a tear slip onto her flushed cheek, there was no stopping it now.
"So that's all you want from me?" She called out after him and sniffled. Once and for all, even if it broke her, even if it hardened her heart forever, Padme need to know the truth. Perhaps it would finally set her free. "My work in your father's Senate? That's all?"
Anakin stopped with one foot out of the estate's vast doorway and looked haughtily over his shoulder, his storming eyes were hooded and unreadable. The woman beside him looked on wide-eyed, probably exchanging worried glances with Dorme and Typho but she couldn't bring herself to care. His gaze held hers for several moments, several heartbeats. In all the time Padme had known Anakin, he had never looked at her so blankly.
"What else would I want from you?" He asked flatly and turned away and left Padme alone in the empty hallway.