Simon poked his head into the kitchen and took a moment to look around. "Hey, Dave, have you seen my laptop anywhere?"

Dave shook his head before taking a sip of coffee. "No, I can't say I have. Where was the last place you remember seeing it?"

Simon took a moment to think. "The last place I remember seeing it was on my bed. I just got up to use the bathroom. The next thing I know my laptop is missing."

"Have you asked Alvin or Theodore if they've seen it?"

"They're out in the backyard playing badminton."

Dave set down his coffee mug and stood up. "Come on, I'll help you look."

Simon breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Dave."

The two headed upstairs and went into the Chipmunks' bedroom. Simon had practically turned the bedroom upside down looking for his laptop. Whereas the chipmunk ordinarily was very neat and tidy, the bedroom looked as if a tornado had blown through it. Clothes and papers were left discarded on the floor, drawers of the desk and dressers had been pulled out, and even underneath the beds had been cleaned out. Just to be thorough, Simon insisted on giving the room another look, but the laptop was nowehre to be found. It was as he was looking through the closet for the third time that Simon suddenly heard a voice. He trudged out into the hallway, allowing his ears to lead him to the guest bedroom.

Upon opening the door, he discovered Wesley sitting on the bed with Simon's laptop in his lap. Fuming, Simon marched over to where Wesley was sitting and snatched up his laptop. "Where in the world do you think you're doing with my laptop?" He looked at the screen. "And what's this Limewire crap you've put on it?"

"Cool your jets, chipmunk," Wesley said. "It's a music streaming service."

"I don't care what it is," Simon snapped. "Get it off my computer, now!"

Wesley sneered. "You need to calm your ass down, boy! There ain't no sense in you acting like this just because I borrowed your laptop!"

"Shut up!"

"Boy, don't you tell me to shut up! I'll fuckin' ––"

"You'd better watch how you talk to my son, and I mean it!" Dave hollered, storming into the room and sneering at Wesley. He pointed to Simon's laptop. "Now I don't know what this garbage you put on his laptop is, but you had best get it off of there and I mean now!"

"What's going on""

Both Simon and Dave turned to see Alvin leaning against the door frame, bouncing a birdie against his racket.

"Hey, do you know what Limewire is?" Simon asked his brother.

"Yeah, one of my friends told me about it," Alvin said, nodding his head. "It's some kind of music streaming service. Really bad about viruses."

Simon turned to glare at Wesley. "Get this crap off my computer, now!"

"Boy, I'm tellin' you," Wesley said, standing up and jabbing a finger in Simon's chest. "You'd best calm your ass down before I get a hold of you!"

"I'd like to see you try," Dave said, getting in between the two boys along with Alvin. His nostrils flared as he jabbed a finger against Wesley's cheek. "Let me tell you something, boy. I don't know who you think you are, but I'll tell you just like I told your daddy: you don't ever threaten any one of my kids in my own house! You understand that? Now I suggest you apologize to Simon right now! And while you're at it, you can take this Limewire crap off of his computer!"

"Give it here," Wesley said with a sigh. "Sorry."

Simon handed his laptop over to Wesley. "And I expect every trace of that service to be wiped clean from my computer when you're done." He and Alvin walked out of the room. "Hey, Alvin, where's Theodore?"

Alvin chuckled. "Where else? In the kitchen, getting a snack."

Simon smiled. "I think I just might join him."

Much to Simon's relief, Wesley was able to remove all traces of the Limewire service from his computer.

As Simon was walking out of the boys' bedroom, laptop tucked under his arm, preparing to go down the stairs, Wesley suddenly jumped out from the guest bedroom. Simon, not expecting the sudden disturbance, jumped himself, letting out a loud yell and dropping his laptop in the process. Before he could bend down to retrieve it, however, it was already tumbling down the stairs. The chipmunk watched as his computer cartwheeled down the stairs before finally coming to a halt after it hit the floor. He turned to sneer at Wesley. "Really, dude?"

"What is the matter with you?" Alvin inquired hotly from across the hall.

"Goddamn it, Simon, now why did you just go and do that?" a voice barked.

Simon turned his head to see Wayne staring up at him from the bottom of the stairs.

"There ain't no reason to be acting like that," Wayne continued. "Just because you're mad at that computer don't mean you got to throw it down the stairs."

"What are you talking about?" Simon asked.

"Simon!" Wayne hollered. "I just fuckin' sat there and watched you do it! You got mad at it and threw it down the stairs!"

"No, he didn't," Alvin snapped.

Wayne turned his head towards Alvin. "You need to fuckin' shut your mouth, boy! Didn't nobody fuckin' ask for your fuckin' opinion!" He turned his head back to Simon. "When your daddy gets home, you can tell him what you went and done." He picked up the broken laptop and went into the kitchen.

His nostrils flaring, Simon stood up and turned to Wesley. "I hope you know you're buying me a new one."

"Like hell I am," Wesley said.

"Simon, don't worry about it," Alvin said, putting a comforting hand on Simon's back. "I'll be more than happy to buy you a new one. I have at least five hundred dollars saved up."

Simon shook his head. "You shouldn't have to!" He nodded his head towards Wesley. "He was the one who went and broke it!"

"I didn't do shit," Wesley snapped angrily.

Simon turned to glare at him. "Boy, your best bet right now is to keep your mouth shut! You hear me!?" He pinched his thumb and forefinger together. "I'm warning you right now! I'm this close to decking you!"

Wesley grabbed Simon by the front of his sweater, picking him up off the floor. "You want to go, motherfucker!?"

"Boy, I'm seriously not playing around with you," Simon snapped. "You had best let go of me and I mean now before I hurt you!" When Wesley didn't immediately fulfill his request, Simon kneed him in the groin. Instantly, Wesley dropped him to the floor as he doubled over in pain. Simon grabbed Alvin's hand and dragged him down the stairs. "Let's go!"

"Where?" Alvin questioned.

"Anywhere but here," Simon said.

"Hey, hey, hey," Wayne called from the kitchen. "Where the fuck do you think you're goin', boy!?"

Alvin and Simon ignored him as they made their way out of the front door.

"Simon, I sent you an email earlier today," Jeanette said at dinner that night. "How come you didn't respond?"

"Tell 'em what happened, Simon," Wayne said from across the table. "Tell your daddy what you went and done today."

"What's he talking about, Simon?" Dave asked, raising an eyebrow.

Simon shrugged. "Beats me."

"No, no, no," Wayne said, shaking his head. "Tell your daddy what you done."

"What are you talking about?" Alvin asked.

"You know damn well what I'm talkin' about, Alvin," Wayne said. When neither chipmunk spoke up, he added, "He got mad at his computer today, threw it down the stairs, and broke it."

"Uh, no, he didn't!" Theodore said.

"How the fuck would you know, fat ass?" Wesley asked. "You weren't even there when it happened!"

"I watched the whole thing," Wayne continued. He pointed his fork at Simon. "He got pissed off at that computer and threw it down the stairs."

"Wayne!" Theodore snapped. "Alvin and I were standing out in the hall! I saw what happened!"

"Were you?" Alvin asked, turning to look at Theodore.

Theodore nodded his head. "Yeah, I was just coming out of the bathroom after taking a shower when it happened."

"When what happened?" Miss Miller asked.

Simon pointed at Wesley. "He scared the ever loving snot out of me today at the top of the stairs. I dropped my laptop."

"Oh, bullshit," Wayne said. "That ain't what happened!"

"Wayne," Alvin said. "I'm not blind! I saw the whole thing go down!"

"Uh-huh," Wayne replied in a disbelieving tone.

"If that's true," Dave said, turning to look at Wesley, "then you will be buying him a new laptop."

"And you better make it fast because I have schoolwork to get done," Simon said.

"I'll get to it when I get to it," Wesley replied.

"Better be tomorrow because I have a paper due at four in the afternoon," Simon said.

"In the meantime, Simon, feel free to use the computer in the living room," Dave said.

Wayne turned to Dave. "Wouldn't have happened had he not gotten mad at the computer to begin with. You know he's just goin' to get mad at that one and break it too." He looked over at Simon. "If you would quit gettin' mad and breaking everything you own, that shit wouldn't happen in the first place. I don't feel sorry for you. You don't deserve, you don't fuckin' deserve, to have shit like that, with the way you act."

Simon gave him a puzzled look. "What are you talking about?"

"Quit actin' stupid!" Wayne barked. "You know exactly what I'm talking about!"

"No, I really don't," Simon replied with a shake of his head.

Simon got up at the crack of dawn to begin his paper. For the past three weeks, he had been planning and researching the topic of his paper and he was finally ready to begin the process of writing it. After fixing himself a tall glass of sweet tea, he sat at the computer, opened up a word document, cracked his knuckles, checked to make sure he had all of the notes he needed, and set to work typing out his paper. He plugged in a pair of headphones and played some easy listening music while he worked. It was better than listening to nothing at all, and it made the workflow go by much more quickly.

All morning he worked on his paper, stopping only long enough to use the bathroom a number of times before immediately getting back to work. He worked through lunch, despite being hungry, for fear that stopping to eat lunch would hinder him from getting his paper turned in on time. At one point Alvin came in to ask him if he wanted to shoot some hoops with him and Theodore, but Simon politely declined. It was at a quarter to four that he stopped long enough to use the bathroom again. When he came back downstairs to put the finishing touches on his paper before sending it in an email to his professor, he found that the computer had been unplugged.

He turned his head to find Wesley sitting on the couch idly flipping through channels on the TV. "Hey, Wesley, did you by any chance unplug the computer?"

"Yeah, nobody was using it so ––"

Whatever he was going to say he didn't get a chance to because Simon wrenched him off the couch and started violently shaking him as he screamed, "What the fuck is your problem, asshole!?" He felt a hand grab his shoulder and spin him around before he got the chance to do anything else and suddenly found himself staring at Wayne's snarling face.

"Boy!" Wayne shouted. "What in the fuck hell are you in here screamin' and throwin' a goddamn fit about!?"

"My paper!" Simon yelled. "My paper is due in five minutes!" He pointed at Wesley. "And your idiot son just unplugged the computer!"

"Simon!" Wayne hollered. "Fuckin' calm your ass down, son! Ain't no sense in you getting' pissed off and throwin' a goddamn fit over that fuckin' computer!"

"Why did you even do that to begin with, Wesley?" Alvin growled, storming into the living room. "Simon's been working on that paper all day!"

"I was just editing my final draft when he did it too," Simon said sadly. He shook his head. "Ten hours of work completely ruined!"

"Well, there ain't no sense in you gettin' that fuckin' mad over a stupid computer," Wayne said. He jabbed a finger at Simon: "You need to fuckin' learn to calm your ass down, boy, and quit gettin' mad over every little thing!"

"You mean like you?" Alvin asked with a smirk.

Wayne turned to Alvin. "Boy, I ain't fuckin' around with you. Keep goin' and see if I don't fuckin' pop that big mouth of yours!"

"You aren't going to lay a hand on my brother, motherfucker," Simon snapped angrily. "You even so much as think of laying a finger on him, and I'll knock your ass out!"

And that fuckin' goes double for you, boy," Wayne growled at Simon. "Keep pushin' me and see what happens! Y'all are gonna fuckin' stop gettin' smart with me all the goddamn time, you fuckin' understand that!? Now I said to calm your ass down and that's what I mean! Keep goin' and see if I don't fuckin' call your daddy!" He turned and stomped over to the front door, flung it open, and went outside.

Dave was serious about Wesley buying Simon a new laptop. When Simon came home from school late one afternoon, he found a brand new laptop waiting for him on his bed. He made sure to find Wesley and thank him.

Wesley snorted in indignation. 'Not me you should be thanking. If your daddy hadn't put me up to it, I wouldn't have bothered."

To Simon's further surprise, Wesley was the one who picked him up from school about two weeks later. He could tell that Wesley wasn't in a good mood upon getting in the passenger seat of the car. He gave the boy a puzzled look. "What's your problem?" he asked.

At first Wesley didn't answer. He didn't answer until he had driven out of the student parking lot. "You've done a lot of fuckin' retarded shit in your life, but this just might take the cake."

"Huh?" Simon asked, raising an eyebrow. "What in the world are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about," Wesley replied. 'Your daddy didn't go to work today, stayed home all day today. Did you know that?"

"No. Why?"

"You know why."

"Would you please tell me what's going on?"

"What's the matter with you?" Wesley asked. "Throwing a laptop in the garbage just because it got a virus? Really, dude? I mean, are you really that fucking retarded?"

Simon gawked at Wesley. "Are you telling me that the laptop I literally just got is missing?"

"Why are you acting so surprised? You were the one who threw it away!"

Simon shook his head and stared out the window. "Whatever, dude. You know what? Just don't even talk to me right now!"

Wesley didn't say another word until they had arrived at his apartment. Stepping through the door, he told his roommate, "Get this moron away from me."

"I'm not ––" Simon began.

"Sit down and shut the fuck up," Wesley yelled, shoving Simon into an armchiar. "Just sit there and write your stupid gay ass stories!"

Simon turned to look over at Wesley's roommate. "Is he always like this?"

"Simon!" Wesley barked. "I don't want to hear another peep out of you! Just sit there and write your stupid gay ass stories!"

"You know what, dude?" Simon said, stuffing his schoolbooks into his backpack. He stood up and slung one of the shoulder straps over his shoulder. He raised both middle fingers at Wesley. "Go fuck yourself." He started making his way towards the door, only to suddenly have his arm grabbed and pulled back by Wesley.

"You aren't going anywhere," Wesley told him. "You're staying here until your daddy comes and gets you."

Simon glared at him. "Wesley, I'm warning you, I'm not in any mood to deal with you right now, so you'd best let go of me and I mean now before I hurt you!"

Wesley's grip on his arm grew tighter.

"I said, let go of me, now!" Simon ordered.

"You're staying here," Wesley insisted.

"Motherfucker, I'm warning you," Simon snapped. "You better let go of me or else I'm going to knock your ass to the floor! Now I've warned you twice! You had better do as I tell you!"

"Sit your ass down in that chair and ––"

Wesley didn't get a chance to finish his sentence because Simon sucker punched him in the stomach. As the boy gripped his stomach and doubled over in pain, Simon delivered a hard kick to the boy's face, knocking him flat on his back on the floor. He turned, grabbed the door handle, and dashed out of the apartment, stopping only long enough to dig his phone out of the pocket of his sweater, his hands shaking due to his fury. With his teeth gritted, he slammed his thumb down on Alvin's name and put the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" Alvin asked.

"Where are you!?" Simon demanded.

"I'm just now leaving the school, why? Is everything okay?"

"Okay, that's near Lakeview Apartments," Simon said. "You'd better get here and get me quick before I end up hurting somebody!"

"Simon, are you okay? You sound pissed!"

"Just get here and pick me up before I end up killing somebody!" He didn't give Alvin a chance to respond before ending the call and shoving his phone back into his pocket.

Ten minutes later, Alvin pulled up into the parking lot. Without saying a word, Simon threw his backpack in the back seat, threw open the passenger door, and got in.

Alvin blinked. "You okay, Simon? Your whole body is shaking."

"Don't talk to me right now, alright!" Simon shouted. "Just take me home!"

Alvin nodded. "Sure thing Simon. Anything you say."

"Oh, I swear to God," Simon fumed, violently kicking the glove compartment, "if I ever see that son of a bitch ever again it'll be too soon!"

"Which one?" Alvin asked as gently as he could. "Wayne or Wesley?"

"Wesley!" Simon yelled. "That son of a bitch threw away my laptop!"

Alvin shook his head. "That's not what I heard."

Simon looked over at his brother. "What did you hear?"

"From what Wayne has been telling me and everybody else, you were the one who threw your laptop in the trash because it got a virus on it."

"Oh, God, Alvin, you don't actually believe that bullshit, do you?"

"God, no," Alvin said, shaking his head.

"I've had that thing for only two weeks!" Simon kicked the glove compartment. "What am I going to do about school!?"

"We'll figure something out, Simon, don't you worry," Alvin replied, reaching over to gingerly pat his brother's leg.

"You done went and fucked up again, didn't you, boy?" Wayne said when Simon walked in the house a few minutes later.

"Wayne, shut your mouth!" Simon shouted. "I am in no mood to put up with you right now!"

Wayne got up from the kitchen table and stomped over to where Alvin and Simon stood. He bent down, getting in Simon's face and shouted, "Boy, you'd best watch how you fuckin' talk to me, you understand me!? Your daddy might put up with that fuckin' shit, but I don't! I didn't fuckin' put up with it from Shelly's kids, and I sure as shit ain't about to fuckin' take it from you, you hear me!? Now get your fuckin' ass up to your room and fuckin' stay there! I don't wanna fuckin' see you again for the rest of the night!"

"Move!" Alvin snapped, shoving Wayne out of the way and beginning to make his way up the stairs. He gasped as he was suddenly yanked back down the stairs by Wayne.

"Alvin! You'd best stop while you're ahead, son! I'm about ready to bust that fuckin' ass, boy, if you keep on!"

"Motherfucker, you'd better let go of me now before I jack your jaw for you!" Alvin raised his fist. "You have three seconds before I knock you to the floor!"

"You heard him!" Dave bellowed, grabbing Wayne's hand. 'He said get your hands off of him!" Digging his fingers into Wayne's wrist, he wrenched Wayne's hand off Alvin's arm. His nostrils flaring, he looked down at Alvin and Simon. "You two! Upstairs! Now!"

Alvin and Simon made a hasty retreat up the stairs without saying a word.

Dave didn't waste any time laying down the law at dinner that night. The instant Wesley stepped through the front door, he bellowed, "Wesley Watkins! Get your ass in here, boy!"

Wesley made his way towards the kitchen.

Miss Miller nodded towards the kitchen table. "Do you mind sitting down?"

"What for?" Wesley asked.

"Because we're talking," Miss Miller told him.

"I can talk standing up," Wesley said.

Miss Miller's expression hardened. "I want you to sit down."

"Look, I don't care if he stands up! He can lay down on the floor for all I care," Dave snapped. "As long as he can hear me, that's good enough for me!" He turned his snarling face to Wesley. "If you ever, and I mean ever, pull another stunt like you did today, and you and I are going to have a go. Don't you ever talk to any one of my kids" – he gestured towards the Chipettes – "like that ever again, you understand me!? I don't know who the hell you think you are, but you don't ever talk to my kids like the way you did today!"

"Have you not fuckin' heard how they fuckin' talk to me!?" Wayne asked, pointing to the Chipmunks and Chipettes.

"Wayne, shut up!" Dave barked. He once again pointed to the Chipettes. "I consider these girls my daughters."

"And I consider these boys," Miss Miller said, pointing to the Chipmunks, "my sons."

"And if you ever treat any one of them," Dave continued, "like the way you treated Simon today, I will be calling the cops on your ass, buddy. Do you understand?"

Wesley smirked and let out an amused snort. "The cops? What are they going to do?"

Dave's expression hardened. "Let's just hope you never find out."

Simon held out his hand. "Hey, Miss Miller, do you have any Tylenol? My head is killing me."

"Well, you know something, Simon?" Wayne spoke up. "If you fuckin' get your ass in bed at night instead of stayin' up 'til four in the fuckin' mornin', you wouldn't fuckin' have that fuckin' problem."

"Uh, I'm busy doing schoolwork and studying for tests, thank you very much, and that's on top of working three separate jobs" Simon snapped as Miss Miller handed him two Tylenol.

"Uh-huh," Wayne said in a disbelieving tone. "You may be able to fool everyone else around here, but you ain't foolin' me, buddy. I know what you're really doin'." At the puzzled looks of the others, he added, "He knows what I'm talkin' 'bout."

"No, I really don't," Simon said, popping the pills in his mouth. He nodded towards Wesley, "By the way, thanks to your idiot son, my grade in English went down a grade."

"No, that's your own damn fault," Wayne said. "If you hadn't have gotten mad at the computer and broken it, that never would've happened."

Simon rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, dude."