Sometimes she got nervous waiting for the metaphorical curtain to rise. Technically speaking there was no curtain but rather a platform under the stage about to be lifted to the surface. As her head emerged, she could hear the crowd's screams even though she couldn't see them through the thick layer of fog over the stage. All her nervousness fell away as she rose high enough to be able to look out over the audience, above the fog effects. The atmosphere was so invigorating; she never failed to feel alive during a concert.
The music started as her rising platform came to a halt. Her costume's brightly coloured fabric waved through the air as she walked purposely forward. The pants were so loose, as to look like a skirt, but she could feel the skin-tight fabric underneath that would be visible during her next costume change. Her arms were clad in a stiff denim jacket, with red stripes that also concealed part of her second costume. She was almost five ten, but still wearing heels because they worked so well with her costume.
Her blonde hair was up in a neat bun at the back of her head in such a way that if she pulled the pins out, her curls would fall loose about her shoulders, revealing her second look of the evening. She could feel the layer of stage makeup covering her skin. She never did like the feeling, but it was part of the job and she had to admit that the thick black lines around her eyes made her usually blue-gray eyes pop.
There were blinding lights behind her, and backdrops on standby high above her head. Brightly coloured lights shone over the stage from every angle making her hot in all her layers. Another unavoidable part of stage performances: overheating.
Sarah Lisa Walker, known to her fans simply as Saz, greeted the gathered crowd who yelled back at her with great enthusiasm. She couldn't see the people past the bright stage lights, but she knew the Royal Albert Concert Hall in London seated over five thousand people. It was strange to feel so isolated while speaking to so many, but that was the nature of show business. The colour of the lights shifted, music began, and Sarah started singing.
"The back of your hand touches my skin," Sarah started her first song of the night, a slow romantic one. "As you walk by." Her right hand slowly extended straight from her body in time with the music. "I can feel you here. Know you're near. So aware," she held the note, waiting for the cue from the music. "Of you." Again she held the note as she followed the melody. Rather than lip sync, Sarah preferred her concerts to have reduced dancing so that she could actually sing into the discrete microphone attached to her ear.
Two backup dancers joined her on the stage, swaying back and forth on either side of her as they snapped their fingers. They were dressed to match her costume, wearing the same denim jackets with red detailing.
"I'm aware, oh so aware, of you," the chorus of her song started, and harmonies were added into the music as she continued singing. "The lights go out, it's as if we are alone. I feel you in the room. I'm aware you are near me." She continued the song adding the chorus and a couple verses before the song ended.
Concerts didn't really involve breaks. It was non-stop music until the night ended. Sarah addressed the crowd, introducing her next track.
"Trash you ain't," she said between the beat of the drums as her next song started, a faster paced, self-love song. "You feel like the dirt on someone's shoe. I know you believe you aren't worth it." The music picked up as the drum rhythm intensified. "But trash you ain't." The song had a rap quality to it that made you want to tap your foot to the beat. "You are brighter than the sun. Powerful like crashing waves against the rocks." Easing her jacket from her shoulders, Sarah flung it into the crowd to the screaming fans in the front row.
The dance for this song should be fast like it was in her music video but for the sake of her singing, they'd created a simpler one she could manage live. She finished that song and then took a water break before beginning her next one.
The lights dimmed as she started to hum the first few notes of a much slower song. "Empty conversation," she sang softly. "Hollow words and that vacant expression. Leaving your company, I am cut down by shallow love, more painful than a knife to the heart." As she sang, Sarah remembered when she'd filmed the music video for this song, the fake blood from her dramatic knife wound had stained her skin for days.
"Your shallow love won't do," Sarah began the chorus. "Isn't worth my time. I can do better than you." As she completed the song, Sarah walked out into the crowd and down one of the aisles. The lights followed her, and as the music changed and picked up speed, Sarah moved faster to reach her costume change on cue.
Her spotlight dimmed and shifted in colour. Sarah reached down and ripped the outer layer of her pants off and threw them into the crowd, revealing the skin tight, high-waisted shorts of her second costume. It was hot under the stage lights, especially while moving and singing. Sarah was so glad to be wearing fewer layers. The roars of the crowd drowned out the first few lines of her next song, as the crowd took in the bright colours of her new outfit.
"Ohh I know you wish you were this tight cloth," Sarah began singing the provocative lyrics as she ran a finger slowly up her leg along the fabric of her shorts. "Taut against me. Oooh I know your hands want to touch me. Touch me bare. Strip it aw-ay and hold yourself-" She paused, her head down she pulled the pins from her hair, and then quickly flipped her head back up. Her perfect curls fell loose as she looked back up at the audience and delivered the last sultry line of the song. "Against me."
Sarah finished the song as she walked back up to the main stage where her backup dancers were waiting for her. They too were in brand new outfits, though Sarah knew they'd had the luxury of changing off stage.
She stood now facing the crowd, with a back up dancer behind her on both sides, as she started singing again. "Those eyes, your lips, they want me, bad." This song had a faster pace, more a dance song than a ballad. "Giving me power to own you. Oh sure, I'll be yours-" Then the music stopped, and Sarah and her dancers stood frozen for just a second before the music kicked in again. "If you know how to woo me." There was an abrupt jump in the music as the song moved quickly into lyrics about all the things a woman wants from her man. "And more I need before I am your-rs." She finished the song, and the stage lights went down. Sarah took the chance to catch her breath while the stage was transformed around her.
A panel fell into place behind her as new props were wheeled onto the floor. A large elegant sofa with dark black lines mixed with warm yellow upholstery now stood in the center of the stage. The lights above changed to a soft deep pink, almost red, and Sarah sat daintily on the sofa as a slow love song started. "You say you don't know how to love me," the song began. "You tell me I can do better. You say I am above you." She tilted her head up, pretending to hold the note that moment longer. "But darling, I know you are wrong." The music remained slow compared to her previous song, but it did get a little faster as she continued. "Your lovin' is all I really need. Can lift me high, high into the sky on a word. There is singing in my heart as I see you smile. You, my dear, are so very wrong about love. Our love is divine." She sang two more cheesy love songs on the fancy little sofa before her night's work was done.
"Thank you all for coming tonight!" Sarah addressed the crowd. She was very glad they couldn't see her up close, as the hot stage lights were making her sweat buckets! The lights went dark and the stage was flooded with her crew. The sets and props were moved backstage, and Sarah herself slowly made her way there as well.
The first thing she did was find a towel and clean up her face. Then the hair and make-up people appeared as if by magic to retouch her. Within minutes she was once again presentable. Just as she was finishing up with her retouching, her manager arrived.
"Great job out there," Beckman said. Beckman's first name was Diane but she never used it. Since Sarah's first days starting out in the industry, Beckman had been her manager. Her brown hair was always pulled back and she had a no nonsense kinda attitude about her, but Sarah knew that under that cold outer appearance, she cared quite a lot.
"Thanks," Sarah beamed, still high on the thrill of a great performance. There was nothing like standing in front of a sea of people who loved you. Nothing except maybe standing in front of one person who loved you… but Sarah pushed that thought away.
Speaking of love, next to arrive on the scene was Bryce, her ex-boyfriend. He had a great booming voice, and a six-pack for brains. They'd broken up just a month or so ago. The fans had been devastated. Sarah on the other hand was relieved. Looking back now she wasn't quite sure if she even liked Bryce while they'd been together. Despite his dark hair, the phrase 'dumb blonde' came to mind when Sarah thought about Bryce. Sure, his jawline could only be described as chiseled, and his eyes were the perfect blue, but there was so little going on behind those eyes. They were both famous and loved music, but that was where the similarities ended. Bryce was an actor, while she was a singer. Despite its end, their relationship was quite popular with the media and the fans which she suspected was why Bryce had shown up tonight.
"You were awesome!" Bryce enthused as he came over to talk to her.
"Thanks," she said politely. A part of her wanted to ask why he was here and if he'd please leave, but she knew Beckman would say to give the fans what they want.
"Come on," he said. "The fans are waiting." Sarah allowed herself to be dragged away, though reluctantly. She usually greeted fans after a show, but she would really have rathered it if Bryce wasn't here.
She plastered a smile on her face, and went to greet an ocean of fans. Then, her smile became genuine; Bryce was not going to ruin her day. Her fans were amazing, and Sarah owed every single one of them for making her dreams come true. She moved through the crowd in a practiced way, signing what they put in front of her, and speaking to those who spoke to her.
"We're your biggest fans!" screamed a group of girls, all wearing her merchandise. One of them had an old edition of Pop Music Weekly, and asked if she'd sign it. Sarah agreed with a smile, trying not to think about how long it had been since she'd been on the cover of the magazine. As she signed her name over her own face, smiling seductively at her, Sarah noticed just how much it didn't look like her, thanks to the power of airbrushing.
"Oh my god! Thank you so much!" the girls giggled. "Our friends are gonna be so jealous." They were all still squealing excitedly as she moved on.
"Your music changed my life," said a boy, maybe twelve years old. He wasn't decked out in merchandise, and somehow his plain appearance made his statement carry more weight.
"In a good way, I hope," Sarah smiled at the boy who nodded, seemingly too nervous to speak. His mother stood beside him, encouraging him to say something more.
"Can you sign my CD?" he asked nervously.
"Of course, I can," she replied. "What's your name?"
"Riley," he replied, and Sarah scribbled her standard 'Saz' with a messy S down then added 'To Riley' above it. She loved watching the boy's face light up as he gazed at the CD in his hands. Sarah tried not to think about how old that particular album was as she moved onto the next person.
She signed shirts, CDs, and all other assortments of her own merchandise for awestruck VIP fans who'd purchased backstage bonus tickets for what felt like hours, moving through the crowd as fairly as she could. Some of them told her they loved her, while others praised her music. At some point she lost track of Bryce. She assumed he was somewhere enjoying the attention.
"We love you so freaking much!" Sarah heard a group of maybe a dozen women, ranging in age from teens to twenties, all shouting from off to her left. Sarah yelled 'Thanks' back to them, then turned and continued moving through the crowd.
One creep managed to get through security, and Sarah found herself being hit on, very obnoxiously, by a guy who really needed to shower. She got comments in her fan mail sometimes that were creepy. Guys joking about marrying her, or simply wanting to have her for a night, but it was so much worse when they accosted her in person. An encounter with a creepy fan who turned violent, just last year, had prompted Sarah to take self-defense classes.
She was very grateful to her fans in general, but there were a few that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. She continued to move through the crowd, trying to smile, but her heart wasn't in it anymore. Everyone was asking her about the love that inspired her songs, assuming they were about Bryce. A few people asked her if the rumors were true about them getting back together.
"Ah no, not likely," Sarah tried to break the news to them gently.
"Who are your songs about then?" the fan asked.
Sarah knew telling them the truth, that she wasn't sure she'd ever been in love before, probably wasn't what they wanted to hear. Using platonic love to write love songs made her feel shallow and fake, but it was what she had to work with. Sarah managed to avoid answering the question and move on to the next person.
Her thoughts spiraled downwards as she tried to make it through the crowd. Why her fans were so obsessed with her love life, she had no idea, but she knew they most definitely were. Sarah felt old talking to teenagers, and she was sick of answering the question of which song was about Bryce. She tried not to show her thoughts on her face as she continued to greet fans and sign merchandise for them. How was it that a hundred people praising her didn't feel like praise at all?
When she was finally done, Sarah escaped to her dressing room. Heading in the bathroom, Sarah started scrubbing down her face, washing away all the eyeshadow, foundation, and lipstick from her skin. There was a knock on her door, and Sarah called out for them to come in as she dried her face off with a towel.
"It was a great show," Beckman said, smiling as she sat down on the couch behind her.
"Yeah," Sarah sighed. She had her face back to normal now, though her hair was a different story, still crunchy with curling products and hair-spray.
"What's wrong?" Beckmen asked in that tone that made Sarah actually want to answer.
"I sing about love," Sarah replied. "It's what I'm known for, but I don't know anything about it, and what's worse is that I haven't even put out an album about fake love in ages."
"I'm sure your writer's block won't last forever," Beckman tried to console her. "And you could always get back with Bryce."
"Urg," Sarah said, by way of answer. She turned to stare at herself in the mirror and wondered if there was something wrong with her. What twenty-six year old woman hadn't experienced love?
"I stand on that stage, observed by thousands, but seen by no one," Sarah stated. She wasn't ready to tell Beckman or even say it out loud, but sometimes it felt like so many people looking at her was the very reason why she couldn't be seen by one special person.
"After this tour is over, you are going on vacation," Beckman stated.
"Yeah, right," Sarah laughed. She couldn't remember the last time she'd taken a vacation.
"I mean it," Beckmen ordered. "You should go somewhere no one knows you. That would be a real break."
"Sounds nice," she smiled.
"For now, get some sleep. You are going to need it," Beckman said, standing up. Beckman left, closing the door behind her, and Sarah got to work getting the gunk out of her hair before bed. A shower was definitely in order.
As she climbed under the covers, her hair finally clean, her thoughts drifted to the days before she was famous. Traveling around the world for cheap, and writing song lyrics on napkins in restaurants.
She'd hardly dated before her career took off, and now she feared it was too late to get it right. The tabloids made her out to be this super sex goddess or something, who had a dramatic romantic clash with a new man every other week. At least when she'd been officially dating Bryce, the crazy died down a little, but not enough to be worth it. Sarah wanted more.
Sarah woke up the next morning feeling sulky and unrested, but the show must go on. She repeated the same concert that night, and managed to keep a smile on her face for the VIP fans after. Then they moved again. Tours were always a non-stop trip to crazy towns, and by the time they reached the end, Sarah was about ready to fall down and sleep until the end of recorded time. She loved it, though. She loved her job. Creating something for others to enjoy was a dream come true. If only she could get past her writer's block, and publish a new album instead of just doing tours for her old ones, then her career would be perfect.
As the lights went out on her concert in Toronto, Sarah let out a deep sigh, as if she'd been saving it since London. The tour was over. It was one of those moments when you are glad you did it, but so glad it was over. She got off the stage to huge applause, and was just finished signing things for her VIP fans when she heard a fan whispering.
"Yeah that's what he said," the fan whispered. "Definitely getting back together soon!"
Sarah turned to address the fan who'd spoken. When she inquired, they gave her an explanation.
"Bryce did an interview," the fan explained. "It's really blowing up online."
"I see," Sarah replied, trying to stay calm and be polite. Sarah excused herself and went to hide backstage with her cell phone. Sarah opened the interview and watched as her ex-boyfriend went on and on about their great love and how he was going to do anything to win her back. He ended his big speech by implying that he'd already succeed and soon she'd be back on his arm.
Sarah was furious. Not only had the guy been a horrible boyfriend, but it turns out he was an even worse ex-boyfriend. She went to find Beckman who it seems had already seen the interview.
"Jerkface," Beckman agreed. "We will have to make a statement against this."
Sarah groaned. There was no version of the future in which she took him back. He was just milking it for all the attention it was worth. Jerkface didn't cover it.
"I'll arrange for some reporters and cameras as soon as possible," Beckmen said. Sarah groaned.
"Or you could just post a video and start your vacation?" Beckmen offered. Sarah rather preferred that idea.
She got out her phone and pointed it at herself before hitting record.
"I know many of you have your heart set on us getting back together," Sarah began. "But this isn't about you. This is about love and we aren't in love. We never were. Bryce is just taking advantage of your interest for attention. I can promise you all that we won't ever get back together. I'm here to tell you that he is a liar and I am taking a break from social media. A little vacation if you will." She paused then added. "And Bryce, if you are watching this, that interview was a jerk thing to do and if you ever show up to one of my concerts again, I will have security throw you out."
She stopped the recording.
"Do you think that will work?" she asked Beckmen.
"Yes. Do you want it edited or posted raw?"
"Raw, I think," Sarah replied. "Makes it more authentic."
Sarah opened her socials and posted her video. It felt so good to be done with it.
"You can handle the fall out?" Sarah asked.
"Of course," Beckmen answered. "Enjoy your vacation."
Sarah grinned. She hadn't had a vacation in years and she wasn't going to wait another minute. Beckman left to give her a chance to get ready.
Once she had the last of her costume and makeup off her face, her hair clean, and product free, and her bag packed, Sarah took a moment to appreciate where she was going. A vacation free of press, fans and social media. She was going to silence her phone, and not check a single media site for reactions to her video about Bryce, or any other trends with her name in the tag. This would be her escape, and she needed it.
Suitcase in hand, Sarah moved quickly, still fueled by the thrill of the unknown. She didn't know where she was going, and she wasn't going to say goodbye. She would lose herself in the crowds of Toronto, get on a plane, and be free.
Sarah got a cab, and left for the airport, still not totally sure what she was doing. She felt like a child who had run away from home. She knew it was rather silly, being that she was an adult, but she couldn't help it. Sarah took a deep breath before entering the airport and walking up to the man behind the counter.
"How can I help you?" the man asked without looking up. He was wearing a uniform that consisted of a light yellow shirt and patterned tie. He had a receding hairline, his name tag read 'Emmett', and he looked bored out of his mind.
"I'm looking for a last minute vacation spot," Sarah explained. She was wearing oversized sunglasses, no makeup, and a large hat, which she hoped was enough to allow her to keep a low profile. "Somewhere west of here."
"There's Winnipeg," Emmett offered, still looking down at his screen. "Edmonton is a popular tourist spot because of their mall. Vancouver is very west. I've heard good things."
"Somewhere remote," Sarah added, knowing that both of those were big cities.
"Does the beach interest you?" he continued, yet to glance up from his computer. "Vancouver Island is nice." Sarah agreed, and Emmett continued. "There are five airports on the island. Which would you like?"
"The smallest one," Sarah answered.
"One ticket to Tofino, BC," Emmett stated as he pushed buttons on the computer. "ID please, and how will you be paying?"
She knew it was illegal for airlines to give out passenger details, though she could still be recognized by staff and other people on the plane. The fate of her vacation at this point was totally based on luck. Just then Emmett looked up, and his mouth fell slightly open. Sarah winced. She knew that eyes-wide-with-wonder look. She was doomed. So much for luck.
"Oh my god," Emmett said, blinking at her in shock. "Did I just help Saz choose a vacation spot!?"
"Yes you did," Sarah hissed. "And could you please keep your voice down?"
"Can you sign… like everything I own?!" he asked.
"If you don't tell anyone I'm here, I will sign whatever you like," Sarah offered.
"Deal!"
I just couldn't resist! So here is another Chuck story for you all.
This story is an adaptation of an original story I wrote which itself was an adaptation of a fanfic I wrote for another fandom almost 9 years ago. It feels like every time I re-write this story for new characters it gets just a little bit better. Like a knife being polished with a stone or something. I hope you like it. ^_^
Edited by Nevr as always.