Dr. Robotnik was watching the news in his LA apartment on his flat-screen TV. He had seen it all go down in real-time: from Shadow's masterful robbery of the Federal Reserve Building to the SWAT team invading Sonic and Tails' hotel room, leading to the former's escape and the latter's capture. He was as giddy as a schoolgirl. He even made microwave popcorn to munch on as he watched it all unfold. Two bags of it, in fact.

He picked up the phone and dialed Shadow.

"What is it?" growled Shadow.

"Shadow, my boy…" said Dr. Robotnik, "Do you realize what you have done?"

"Robbed a bank," said Shadow, "Like you asked me to. So what?"

"But not just any bank!" said Dr. Robotnik, "You just robbed the most important bank in the country! Why, in the world, perhaps! And now everyone thinks Sonic did it! Oh ho ho! This is just splendid!"

"What makes the bank I robbed so important?" said Shadow.

"Well, uh, you know, they got a lot of money there and, uh…" said Dr. Robotnik, not sure of the answer Shadow was looking for.

"It was easy," said Shadow.

"Yeah, yeah, well, no need to brag, mister ultimate life-form…" said Dr. Robotnik, "Now, then, are you able to get me the money?"

"Sure, but about that…" said Shadow.

"I was thinking," said Dr. Robotnik, "Instead of you sending me the money by mail, why don't you just use Chaos Control to teleport here with the money? How's that sound?"

"Well, two things," said Shadow, "First, Rouge flew off with the Chaos Emerald and second—"

"Wait, what? What did you say?" shouted Dr. Robotnik, "Rouge what?"

"She took the Chaos Emerald," said Shadow.

"That… bitch!" said Dr. Robotnik as he went to throw his phone against the wall, but hesitated before doing so and ultimately decided against it.

Dr. Robotnik's anger quickly developed into disappointment, even sadness.

"Shadow, Shadow…" he said, shaking his head, a single tear in his eye, "Mind if I bust out a musical number? I got the feels."

"I don't know what's with you and singing," said Shadow.

"Well, well, well," said Dr. Robotnik, "Look who's talking!"

"Touché," said Shadow, "Hmph."

"Let me put the phone on speaker so you can hear me," said Dr. Robotnik, as he proceeded to just that, "Okay, here I go!"

And with that, Dr. Robotnik sat down at the baby grand he just happened to have in his apartment. He placed his phone upright on the piano's music stand and slowly laid down some sultry, soulful minor chords. Think Adele's "Someone Like You" meets "The Piano Man" by Billy Joel. And then, with all his heart and soul, he started to sing.

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Rouge
She had a heart on her chest and a nice pair of… boots
But she was no ordinary girl; she was actually a bat
She had pointy ears and wings coming out of her back

Here goes the bridge!

And I thought I could trust her!
She was the ketchup to my mustard
Yes, I thought I could trust her!
How I wish I had some custard…

And the chorus!

How could you be so cold?
How could you go and steal the emerald?
How could you be so cold?
How could you go and steal the emerald?

"What do you think of that, mister Broadway star?" said Dr. Robotnik, suddenly interrupting his song.

"Not bad," said Shadow, "Not the best lyrics, but it has potential. Pretty impressive you came up with that on the spot."

"Would you put it on your playlist?" said Dr. Robotnik, eagerly leaning in from behind the piano to hear Shadow's response.

"I don't… have a playlist," said Shadow, a hint of embarrassment in his voice, "I don't even know what that is!"

"Well, anyway…" said Dr. Robotnik, as he went to pick up the phone, turning off speaker phone "Why'd you let her steal it? You son of a Bisquick!"

"Son of a Bisquick? Who the hell says that?" said Shadow.

"I do," said Dr. Robotnik, "I'm a family-friendly man, goddamnit."

"But you already called Rouge a bitch," said Shadow, "And you just said god damn."

"I'll say god damn as much as I goddamn please!" said Dr. Robotnik.

An awkward silence impregnated the air.

"And two…" said Shadow, "Even if I had the Chaos Emerald, I don't think I could teleport the money and myself as well."

"Sure you could," said Dr. Robotnik, "Not that it matters now."

"Or maybe I could somehow teleport just the money…" said Shadow.

"Maybe…" said Dr. Robotnik, "But, I mean, really, it doesn't matter now."

"Well, I've been thinking," said Shadow, drifting off.

"Yes…?" said Dr. Robotnik, "What is it?"

"I was wondering…" said Shadow, "Why don't you move to New York to live with me? We could be like, um, you know? Room-mates…"

"Why, I appreciate the offer, my boy, but… I can't just up and leave like that! I have… responsibilities here in LA!"

"Aren't you about to be evicted?" said Shadow.

"Well, yes there's that…" said Dr. Robotnik, "But I mean—"

"I've got enough money here for the both of us to live like kings," said Shadow.

"Well yes, but, uh… you know, I just got diagnosed with Diabetes, and…" said Dr. Robotnik.

"That's no cause for concern," said Shadow, "There's great healthcare here."

"Yeah, but, I got the piano here, and…" said Dr. Robotnik.

"We'll buy a new one," said Shadow, "Stop making excuses, bitch."

"Why!" exclaimed Dr. Robotnik, "Don't you go calling me a bitch now!"

"What?" said Shadow, "It's okay for you to call Rouge a bitch but I can't call you one?"

"It's different!" said Dr. Robotnik, "I didn't steal anything!"

"Well, anyway…" drifted off Shadow, "What is your dream, doctor?"

"To rule the world!" blurted out Dr. Robotnik.

"Your real dream," said Shadow, shaking his head.

"To be… to be… to be accepted for who I am," said Dr. Robotnik, a tear in his eye.

"And how do you want to go about doing that?" said Shadow.

"I want to write music that will live on in people's hearts forever," said Dr. Robotnik, "I want to be the next Paul McCartney! The next Michael Jackson! The next Justin Bieber!"

"I don't think Justin Bieber writes his own songs," said Shadow.

"How would you know?" said Dr. Robotnik.

"What, it's not like I listen to Justin Bieber, or anything..." said Shadow, embarrassed, "Why, I don't even know who that is! Justin Beaver? Just a beaver?"

"Whatever! But the ladies love him," said Dr. Robotnik, "That's what matters. That's what I want. For the ladies to love me."

"I can hook you up with some of Broadway's biggest names. I've got that type of clout, you know?" said Shadow, "But you'll have to be here in person for that."

"Well…" said Dr. Robotnik, his hand stroking his chin, contemplating the pros and cons, "Let me sleep on it."

"Sleep on what?" said Shadow.

"It's an expression, god damn it!" said Dr. Robotnik, "It means I'll let you know my decision tomorrow."

"Why didn't you just say that then?" said Shadow.

"Because most people know what 'sleep on it' means!" said Dr. Robotnik.

"I guess I'm not most people, then," said Shadow, "Well, let me know. I'll talk to you then."

"Talk to you tomorrow," said Dr. Robotnik, "Bye."

"Bye," said Shadow.