Some time before, Sam, Max, Charlie and Harry Moleman were heading to the cemetery. Momma Bosco was waiting for them in order to resurrect Barde in case things went south.
« Well, here we are in Misthallery cemetery…» Sam commented.
« As foggy and godforsaken as everything in this village…» Max commented.
« And here's the grave! » Harry pointed at one of the graves.
« Excellent! Now we'll finally be able to solve this mystery of puzzles and riddles and save this town from a spectre with a degree in destruction and entertainment! » Sam declared.
« Wait! There's something near the tombstone! » Charlie exclaimed, pointing at a toy giraffe.
« Holy lizard people of the Dutch swamps in an everlasting conflict with ratmen in the sewers! Charlie! Is it one of the toys of powers!? » Sam exclaimed.
« Indeed. That, is the Girraf-Ha. This toy will be able to replicate objects and individuals up to an hour, provided that the user has direct eyesight of said object. If said object is a living creature capable of motion, the user will be able to command them to do any sort of action! » Charlie explained.
« Convenient! » Max grinned. And so, he grabbed the toy, the lagomorph spasming in response, as electricity crackled around him.
« Excellent! Now that my little buddy is now able to create clones of ourselves to terrify the local indigenous populations in pointless pranks and other mischiefs, it is time to bring back Mr. Barde! » Sam declared.
« On second thoughts…Are we REALLY gonna desecrate the tomb of this man just for our convenience? » Harry asked.
« Of course we are! » Max shot back, as he begun to dig up the grave with his bare hands, scratching and biting the ground with the ferocity of a honey badger in heat.
Soon, the coffin was unearthed and brought above ground.
« All right, Harry. It is now your turn to do your magic and bring back the spirit of this Mr. Barde from the dead! » Sam turned to Harry.
« All right, I'm a bit rusty regarding British spirits, but it's worth a shot. » Harry replied.
And so, the moleman begun to chant ancient words, long lost to time with the exception of the few remaining molemen of the world.
And so, after a while, Barde spirit materialized.
He wore a white shirt, with an orange sweater vest and a dark brown jacket over the top. He also wore light brown pants and black shoes.
To say that he was shocked at the current turning of events would be an understatement.
« What the!? What is this!? Where am I!? » Barde exclaimed.
« Hello Mr. Barde. We meet at last, you landowner fiend! » Sam exclaimed.
« What are you talking about!? Wait… Am I- » Barde widened his eyes in shock.
« A ghost? Yes. And if you want that precious body of yours, you will do well to collaborate. » Charlie threatened the man.
« Who is the fiend that decided to put an end to your reign of ownership of several swats of land in this fog generator!? » Sam asked with a frown.
« You mean…the one who killed me? Wait, where are Arianna and Tony? » Barde asked.
« You'll be able to reunite with your family only if you collaborate with us. » Sam declared.
« And just so you know, we know how to combat ghost, from feminists to Misthallery guardians! » Max added.
« You mean the Spectre? Don't be absurd! It's just a fairytale! » Barde protested.
« No it's not. This spectral fiend has brought a reign of terror to this land of fog, and the Freelance police are now downtown to put an end to his tyranny! » Sam declared.
« And…where do I fit in all of this? » Barde asked.
« Simple. The fiend that put an end to your life by tossing you in one of the few inland cliffs of the British Isles seems to be also the same fiend that is controlling a machine to bring havoc to this tranquil town in order to seize Chaotic and Divine artifacts for his own nefarious deeds. » Sam explained.
« You DO realize…how UTTERLY insane everything you just said is? » Barde asked with a deadpan expression.
« You're a ghost brought back from the spirit realm by a Moleman, it doesn't get much crazier than that! » Max replied.
« I suppose…in any case, it's not that I can help you much…I have no idea who could had possibly killed me, especially because…the last thing I remember, is this masked guy with this ridiculous googles telling me to jump off a cliff. Then…well, here I am. » Barde explained.
« Just as we suspected. Some fiend used Brady Culture googles to hypnotize you in order to jump off a cliff, ruling it out as suicide! » Sam exclaimed.
« That bastard! If I get my hands on him…» Barde cursed.
« Not much you can do in your spectral form….» Sam commented. « Anyway, you helped us confirm some suspicious, so you'll soon be able to be reunited with your body! »
« Thank God. » Barde sighed in relief.
« Just head to the first plaza to the left, Momma Bosco is waiting us there with her cloning machine. Soon, we'll bring your remains, so that she can clone your body, and you can possess it! » Sam explained.
« Just be a bit discrete in the meantime…people aren't used to ACTUAL ghosts…» Harry commented.
« A bit of a rude awakening, but alas…thank you for giving me a second chance to be back with my children. » Barde thanked the group, as he headed off.
« Well, now that we've summoned Mr. Barde's spirit, all we need is to bring this coffin to Momma Bosco and-» Sam was about to say, before he noticed a man leading several members of the Misthallery police force.
He wore a white shirt and blue tie with a yellow-orange jacket and hat.
« There they are! Get 'em, boys! » the man exclaimed. « They're behind this whole spectre madness! They're responsible for destroying Misthallery, not to mention desecrating the grave of Mr. Barde! »
« Holy crusader joe in a perpetual struggle against the forces of hell in a levant of sands made of sugar! Only one creature could be so corpulent and yet able to command the police force of this fog generator! You must be Chief Jakes! » Sam exclaimed.
« So you know my name. Good, then you'll know who is the one who will finally bring you to justice! » Jakes declared.
« Harry! Bring the coffin to Momma Bosco! We'll delay these incredibly non-threatening individuals for a considerable amount of time! » Sam declared.
« You got it! Jeez, it's lighter than it seems…» Harry replied, as he begun to drag the grave away with surprising speed.
« All right, you British law enforcers! It's time to bring destruction to your forces in good old fashioned Hollywood destruction! » Max grinned.
However, before the battle could begin, a large net was thrown on the three, capturing them in seconds.
« Well that's anticlimactic…» Sam commented.
« You can complain all the way to the station, Fido and Bunny! » Jakes shot back.
« Sam and Max actually. » Sam replied.
« And Charlie Hotep. » Charlie added.
« A talking puppet…bah, no matter. For a group of ghost summoners, this must be childplay…» Jakes replied.
« Actually, we can't summon ghosts. That was Harry Moleman! » Sam protested.
« Yeah, and we actually can't summon the spectre that has been destroying town. We can desecrate tombs, though! » Max grinned.
« Yeah, yeah. That's what they all say. » Jakes replied.
Xxxxxxx
And so, the three were brought to the Interrogation room.
After a while, Jakes entered. « Have a nice nappie? »
« Not really. We've been here less than an hour, I think…» Sam commented.
« What the hell is this place? Ya know, before people start calling it "Chief Jakes De-intestination room." » Max threatened the man.
« Interrogation room. Nice, isn't it? I like to keep our suspects cozy. » Jakes replied.
« No matter. YOU must be the fiend that hypnotized Mr. Barde to commit suicide in order to gain power over the indigenous populations of this fog generator! » Sam exclaimed.
« What? NO! Why would you just JUMP on that conclusion!? » Jakes protested.
« Because you're stopping the efforts of Sam and Max, freelance police! What other reason would you have to incriminate these paladins of justice other than attempting to stop our righteous campaign? » Sam declared.
« …You DESECRATED a bloody tomb! The tomb of a man who committed suicide! » Jakes shot back.
« Oh, who hasn't done THAT once in a while? » Max asked.
« What is wrong with you!? » Jakes exclaimed.
« No idea. » Sam shrugged.
« Not to mention the fact that you've made all sorts of threats and questions to the people of Misthallery! At first I thought it was that tall hat lad that was behind all of this, he seemed smart enough to pull it out. But then my third eye made everything click: YOU're the ones that summoned the spectre! Your action at the cemetery only confirms it! » Jakes replied.
« All right, we MAY have desecrated a tomb a little bit. But other than that, we're innocent! Kinda… just don't ask the local people too much…» Max grinned.
« Not to mention that it was a necessary sacrifice to summon the spectre of Mr. Barde and solve this mystery once and for all! » Sam added.
« …I brought you in the interrogation room, but I honestly think you deserve a mental asylum…» Jakes commented.
« Not the first time someone pointed it out. » Sam commented.
« Just… Just sit quiet in here... Don't make this hard on yourselves. » Jakes groaned annoyed, as he closed the door.
« Well that's a bummer. » Sam shrugged.
« That's it! No one gets to lock me in a locker room and lives! » Max roared out.
« As much as I would like to let you loose on the local police force to cause a series of unfortunate events to those incompetent fiends, I'm getting too attached to this place, so I'd say we probably should be tactful. » Sam commented.
« Easier said than done, the fatass locked us in! » Max exclaimed.
« You sure you don't have any unnecessarily violent tool of destruction to shatter this door hopes and dreams? » Sam asked.
« Oh yeah! Jeez, why didn't I think of that? » Max pondered.
« I believe that its probably because of your memory span being shorter than the percentage of muscles in Chief Jakes body. » Sam replied.
And so, Max pulled out a crowbar out of nowhere. « This will do nicely. »
« Surprised that you had such self-restraint when choosing the correct tool for the job. » Sam commented.
« Oh, I'm refraining myself from using deadlier tools so that we can use them after proving that Chief Jakes is a fraud. » Max replied.
« You crack me up, little buddy! » Sam exclaimed.
And so, Max used the crowbar, and opened the door, the two freelance policemen bursting in, guns ready.
« All right, the coast is clear, but obviously the local police force is patrolling the halls of this decrepit location like NCR soldiers patrolling the deserts of the Mojave on a Sunday after a nuclear winter. » Sam deduced.
« That is not a problem! Remember the Giraff-Ha! » Charlie exclaimed.
« Oh, I've GOT to use it right now! » Max exclaimed.
And so, the lagomorph used the Giraffe toy, which generated perfect energy copies of Sam, Max and Charlie.
« Excellent. With these clones made of Lovecraftian magic, we shall be able to sneak out of the hallways of this police station without being noticed by the hungry eyes of the fog police! » Sam declared.
« Go, my children! » Max grinned, as he sent the clones running in the halls.
Predicably, the police force noticed. « What the-It's the guys Chief Jakes captured! Quick! We can't let them escape! »
And so, the police chased after them.
« Well as expected, the local police force has a better attention span of Somali pirates in a Pacific Island, therefore they immediately noticed the energy clones, giving us precious time to escape this location. » Sam declared.
« What are we waiting for!? » Max exclaimed.
Xxxxxxx
And so, the three ran off.
And, after a while, they met up with Layton, Emmy, Luke, Sniper and Claptrap.
« Sam! Max! Charlie! Are you three all right? » Layton asked concerned.
« What have you bloody idiots done!? » Emmy cursed.
« We desecrated Mr. Barde's tomb to summon his spirit and pluck that sucker in a clone created using his corpse DNA by Momma Bosco cloning machine! » Sam proudly declared.
« …You…couldn't had been a bit more… "tactful"? » Emmy asked with a deadpan expression.
« Tactics are fancy words used by British colonists faithful to the crowd to undermine the freedom of the States. » Mad declared.
« Nevertheless, I assume that you have resurrected Mr. Barde, yes? » Layton asked.
« We left that to Harry Moleman and Momma Bosco. Unfortunately, before we could finish the process, we had to cover Harry's retreat with the corpse of Mr. Barde from a horde of tea drinking policemen leaded by a corpulent individual with a genetic malformation that granted him three eyes instead of two. » Sam replied.
« Why am I not surprised…» Emmy groaned annoyed.
« Wait…I think the Spectre will appear tonight nearby…» Luke suddenly said.
« My thought as well. » Layton replied.
« Wait what? » Claptrap asked confused.
« Oh yeah, apparently the kid is psychic or something, so he can predict the future. » Max replied.
« Actually… there's something I should tell you…» Luke replied.
« What? » Sniper asked.
« Mr. Layton… By now, you know that I'm not some supernatural oracle. I've been able to predict when and where the specter would appear because of one simple thing. I first noticed the water levels in the canal by chance. I was walking through town on a day just like any other…when I noticed the low water level in this one area. Then, later that night, the specter appeared. It appeared where the water level had fallen below normal. I thought it might have been a coincidence, but I started tracking the water levels, just in case. After that, it was clear that there was a definite correlation. Whenever the water level fell, that meant the specter would attack there that night. » Luke explained.
« You…you came up with that all by yourself, Luke? Wow. » Emmy commented.
« Does the spectre need water in order to perform his pitiful attempts at being somewhat intimidating? » Sam asked.
« Better yet, why didn't you say bloody so earlier?!» Sniper protested.
« It's just… I didn't know if I could trust any of you. » Luke replied.
« Anything else you're holding back? Like, maybe, where the specter likes to hang out after work?! And wait another second! How were you tracking water levels across town if you barely left your room? » Emmy scolded the boy.
« I-» before Luke could reply, several figures emerged from the ground, surrounding the group.
They were humanoid rats, carrying rusty weapons and adorned with even more rusty armour.
« Holy world shattering explosion caused by poor writing! It's the Skaven! » Sam exclaimed.
« Get ready, lads! » Sniper exclaimed, as he pulled out his knife.
« Wait! Please! Don't attack! They're friends! » Luke protested.
« Wait what? » Sam asked.
« Luke-child-thing! No-no worry, Luke-thing! Mighty Queek-Queek seeks-wants to meet friend-things, yes-yes! » one of the Skaven replied.
In response, a larger rat, with several skulls impaled on his back, walked in.
« Queek! I thought you didn't want people to notice you! » Luke exclaimed.
« Mighty Queek-Queek changed idea-thoght! Smart-clever enough to do it-it! » Queek declared.
« Okay…what is going on?! » Emmy asked confused.
« This is Queek, the leader of Clan Mors. Sorry, if I didn't tell you sooner, but they wanted it to keep their existence a secret…» Luke explained.
« Makes sense. Given that the purpose in life of every single Skaven in the omniverse is to be the subject of the upmost hatred. » Sam commented.
« Wait… I thought Skaven were evil! Why are you helping these people!?» Claptrap exclaimed.
« Queek-Queek most bad-evil thing, yes-yes! But other things think they more bad-evil than Queek-Queek! Queek-Queek kill-stabs things, so Queek-Queek more evil-bad thing! But Queek-Queek smart rat, yes-yes! So Queek-Queek works-aids things to find-find other things, then kill-stab things, until only Queek-Queek is evil-bad thing! Queek-Queek smarter thing than Ikkit-thing! » Queek declared.
« So… you were helped by ratmen this whole time…» Emmy said in disbelief.
« Yes-yes! Luke thing most helpful! Talk-spoke to vermin's with smaller-tiny vermin! » one of the Skaven replied, pulling out a small mouse.
« I can't understand everything he says, but I can understand enough. » Luke explained.
« …Professor, this reminds me of a puzzle…from an insane asylum. » Emmy commented.
« I don't understand it any more than you do, Emmy! » Luke protested.
« Well, we have seen stranger things since we arrived here. » Layton replied.
« Any chance in finding a spectral being bent on destroying a small Fog Generator? » Sam asked.
« Yes-yes! Vermin's know-know where Spectre is! » Queek replied.
« Really? Where!?» Luke exclaimed.
« Abandoned factory-thing. Things enter-go in factory-thing, spook-scare Spectre-thing, then Queek-Queek kill-stab spectre! » Queek declared.
« Sounds like a plan. » Max grinned.
« Anyway, we now know where this spectre is located. TO THE FACTORY! » Sam declared, as the group raced off.
Xxxxxxx
If you want to give me any suggestions for quotes and scenarios, just tell me in the reviews. I will also include characters both from the Sam and Max universe (Hit the Road, animated Series Telltale Episodes), alongside the universes of the chumps who participated in the Poker Night at the Inventory 1 and 2. Just tell me when you want them introduced!
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See you on the next chapter!