Moiraine needs a hot bath after her terrible day but gets disturbed.
Sighing in relief, Moiraine let her body sink into the hot bathtub. The smell of the herbs filled the air, creating a comfortable atmosphere. Exactly what she needed after such a horrible day.
Today, she had gone from one disaster to the next. First, she had run into that stupid Whitecloak who almost strangled her in the end. Her throat was still hurting from his attack.
Then, Nynaeve had made her empty the disgusting chamber pots. Light, her skin was still tingling from it!
Moiraine leaned the back of her head on the rim of the bathtub and closed her eyes. The rest of her body was underwater, soaking in the warmth so she would stop shivering.
But as soon as she closed her eyes, Lia's face appeared before her. The older woman was afraid and begging Moiraine for help.
Gasping, the Cairhien woman opened her eyes again. She didn't want to think about Lia or that she had broken her promise. The Tairen woman had asked one thing of her – one simple thing. All she had to do was bring a cup of tea regularly so the Whitecloaks wouldn't go to her.
Moiraine didn't remember how many cups she served but remembered very well the moment when she brought Lia's dinner. Lia had barely been awake anymore. If she had noticed earlier that something was wrong with the Tairen woman, she could've healed her with Saidar before Nynaeve or Elayne could have stopped her. Sadly, she had been too tired to see what was going on until it was too late. Now, Lia was dead. Moiraine had failed her.
A single tear escaped Moiraine's eye and rolled over her cheek. The Tairen woman had reminded her of Siuan, and she hadn't been able to stop imagining the Amyrlin Seat becoming an old woman like Lia. They both liked to use fish metaphors and had quite a temper.
Moiraine's thoughts continued to spiral, returning to the night in Cairhien. Every night, she relived her escape from the Sun Palace and the return of her powers. Every time, she asked herself if she could've done anything differently.
Had she wasted too much time with Verin explaining their next move? Had they lost time on the streets of Cairhien while searching for the Gateway? What if she hadn't fought against Lan's reveal about her shielding? They had lost precious time while Lan tried to convince her of the truth of his words.
Or had it been her channeling? After six months without Saidar, she had relished the feeling of weaving again. If she had been quicker, maybe Siuan hadn't caught them. The Amyrlin would have never met the daughter of the night. She would have never been hurt.
Moiraine. Please.
A shiver ran over the Cairhien woman's body. Siuan had begged her to help her. But Moiraine had put the mission over her lover. Light, she didn't even know if Siuan survived Lanfear's attack! What if she didn't make it? What if she died in that backyard – alone? The last thing she had seen was Moiraine leaving her.
Anxiously, the woman of the Blue Ajah pushed her nails into her thighs. Her heart was racing. The bath was supposed to calm her. Yet here she was, giving room to her fears. Not very calming.
The sound of the front door pulled Moiraine out of her thoughts. Immediately, she embraced Saidar, preparing herself to wrap the intruder into her weaves. It couldn't be Lan. After they were done with their work, he always accompanied Nynaeve to the house she shared with Elayne and Egwene and stayed a few hours. But who dared to enter her house without announcing himself? Who knew where she lived?
At first, Lanfear came to her mind, and fear filled her heart. The daughter of the night was still out there, and it worried Moiraine that no one had heard from her. She didn't believe for one second, the Forsaken had forgotten about Moiraine trying to kill her. One day, she would try to get her revenge. Rand wasn't with the Cairhien woman any longer, so he couldn't protect her from Lanfear's wrath. But Lanfear wouldn't use the front door, would she?
Another image appeared before her eyes. The Whitecloak from the infirmary. She had accused him of killing Lia and other people. What if he followed her to the house? What if he decided to punish her for her behavior? Or maybe they didn't like that she knew about their little secret. Would they try to kill her because of her knowledge?
Elayne's voice echoed in her ears. Please wait for Lan to get you home. You shouldn't be alone on the streets after your fight with the Whitecloaks. Of course, Moiraine hadn't waited. Lan would need one look to see how badly she was doing, and she didn't want to ruin his night. The Malkieri would forget about his plans with the Wisdom to ensure Moiraine was alright.
Her niece hadn't been happy about her decision. If you don't wait for Lan, at least wait for Egwene and me to join you. The Cairhien woman hadn't wanted that either. Elayne and Egwene would've insisted on staying with her until Lan returned when all she wanted was a hot bath and some quiet to think about.
The daughter-heir of Andor had gotten angry, but before she could start an argument, Moiraine had wished her a good night and left. At first, Elayne had been too stunned to respond. When she had found her voice again, Moiraine had heard her growl even from a distance.
Now, the Cairhien woman cursed herself for her stubborn behavior. She couldn't fight against a Whitecloak with Saidar until he attacked her, and he caught her at an inappropriate moment. She wore nothing but her bare skin and had nothing to use as a weapon except for a sponge.
Wood creaked under approaching footsteps. If she screamed for help, would someone hear her? Would someone even help her? The Whitecloaks were terrifying, and everyone…
"It's me."
Lan's warm voice rolled over Moiraine, and she relaxed immediately. It wasn't an intruder or someone who wanted to kill her. Light, she should've checked the bond! It would've told her that the uncrowned king of Malkier was close.
Sighing, she let go of Saidar and made herself comfortable again. "You're back early."
"Do you want me to leave?" Her Warder made a step back, ready to leave if she wished for him to give her some privacy. But Moiraine heard the exhaustion in his voice. Although he gave her the choice, the man didn't want to go. It seemed like he was just as exhausted as she was. "I can come back later if-"
"No." Moiraine interrupted him quickly before he felt offended. "You surprised me. I didn't expect you to be back so soon."
Lan, who seemed relieved he didn't have to leave, started to take off his belts. "You didn't wait for me."
For a moment, the woman of the Blue Ajah thought about changing her mind. If she let him stay now, he would continue asking questions about today. Maybe it was enough to remind him she didn't need his help for everything.
"I know the way from the infirmary to our house. And the last time I checked, I'm old enough to take a walk outside."
Instead of an answer, Lan raised an eyebrow at her. They both knew he didn't accompany her back to the house after their day at the infirmary because he believed she couldn't be left alone on the streets. It was their enemies he didn't trust.
Quickly, Moiraine turned her eyes back to the water, avoiding Lan's gaze. It made her feel uncomfortable because the Malkieri knew very well what she had tried.
She needed to distract herself, so she opened herself to Saidar again and heated the water. It hadn't lost much heat, yet she felt cold after all the doubts and questions washing over her when she had thought of Lan as an intruder.
"Is there some room for me left?" Lan could see there was enough room in the bathtub for him to join her but was too polite to simply jump in.
After hesitating for a heartbeat, Moiraine nodded. She couldn't avoid her Warder for long. And when he wanted to join her, he didn't intend to leave the house again for the night. What was about Nynaeve? Why didn't he want to see her tonight? The young woman from the Two Rivers would hate to miss a chance to separate Moiraine and Lan. She always found a way to keep him occupied.
Lan's clothes dropped to the floor, then the Aes Sedai felt the strong presence of her Warder beside the bathtub. Her eyes moved automatically over Lan's strong muscles. She wasn't in love with the Malkieri but also not immune to his appearance. The uncrowned king of Malkier was a handsome man, pulling all eyes on him when he was around – at least the eyes of women.
Subconsciously, the Cairhien woman made room for the Malkieri to join her. Slowly, he lowered his body into the water while sighing content at the warmth of the water.
"Perfect," he sighed.
Smiling, Moiraine watched how he leaned against the wall. She knew the man enjoyed a hot bath. Her eyes wandered over his strong arms, which he had placed on the rim of the bathtub, feeling his muscles aching like he had worked too much. What had he done today? How many huts…?
The eyes of the Aes Sedai noticed a red spot on her Warder's left arm. It was barely visible since Lan placed his arm on the rim, so she couldn't see much. He even rolled the inside of his arm closer to the water, which had to be uncomfortable. Moiraine needed to lean her head aside to get a better look. Her ear almost touched the surface when she finally saw more.
Shocked, her eyes widened. "What is that?!"
Alarmed, Lan straightened, searching the house for potential threats. Meanwhile, Moiraine moved to her knees – not caring that her breasts were now visible to Lan's eyes or that water splashed everywhere – and grabbed the man's arm.
The uncrowned king of Malkier flinched when she turned his left arm, revealing the bloody cut he had tried to hide from her.
"Who did this to you?"
What was wrong with today? First, her struggle with the Whitecloaks, then Lia's death, and now, she found out Lan got injured. Could that day get worse?!
"It's nothing," the man from the Borderlands tried to calm her, but it didn't work.
"What happened to you?!"
"It was an accident. Nothing serious."
"You're bleeding. I call that serious." Anxiously, Moiraine's eyes moved over Lan's chest. Well, the part above water she could see, but his skin was untouched. "Is there more? How many injuries do you keep from me?"
Without waiting for an answer, Moiraine started to move her hands over Lan's body, searching for something she didn't know of. It was a good thing Nynaeve wasn't in the room. The young woman from the Two Rivers would've bit the Cairhien woman's head off for touching the Malkieri like that.
"Moiraine." Lan didn't mind her examination. The men from the Borderlands were more open with their nudity than other people – like those from Cairhien. Yet, he gently blocked Moiraine's hands. "No more injuries. I promise."
The Aes Sedai hesitated. Was Lan telling the truth, or did he simply try to calm her? It wouldn't be the first time he downplayed an injury, so she wouldn't panic.
Finally, she decided not to fight with her Warder. Instead, she would heal the wound she knew of. She could check his naked body properly once he left the bathtub.
Moiraine opened herself to Saidar, letting the One Power fill her veins. Today, she hadn't been able to save Lia, but Lan wouldn't suffer any longer. This time, Nynaeve or Elayne couldn't stop her.
"No."
Saidar slipped through her fingers when Lan grabbed her hands and brought them together so she couldn't weave. "What are you doing?" Angrily, Moiraine pulled, but Lan was stronger than her. "I can heal you."
"It's a small cut, Moiraine."
"It's not small!" Obviously, she and the Malkieri had different definitions of 'small'. "Let me heal you!"
"I survived worse."
A cave appeared before Moiraine's eyes, followed by shimmering metal pieces and countless blood splatters. Screams and groans echoed in her ears, but the worst was the terrible feeling of the bond fading. Lan's presence had almost left her for good, and she hadn't been able to heal him.
All of a sudden, the water turned to ice, and Moiraine started to shiver. Her heart was racing, and it became hard to breathe. The thought of losing Lan….
"Moiraine." Her Warder's voice sounded dull, probably because of her blood rushing loudly in her ears. Something that sounded like a curse followed her name, then Lan pressed her cold hands on his warm chest where his heart was beating. "There. Do you feel that? I'm alive."
Moiraine tried hard to focus on Lan's heartbeat, but she couldn't get rid of the image of a dying Lan lying within her reach and yet too far away.
"Blood and ashes, woman!" The uncrowned king of Malkier cupped her cheek so he could pull her head forward until their foreheads connected. "Come back to me, Moiraine."
Swallowing hard, the Cairhien woman tried to focus on the Malkieri. There was Lan's voice, pulling her through the darkness of the horrible memory. The feeling of his body and steady, strong heartbeat grounded her to the present and dispelled the cave and blood.
His warm breath moved over her face and lips. Moiraine inhaled to allow his breath and smell to fill her frozen body with new life.
Finally, the tremor stopped, and she was back in the bathtub with Lan. The cave was the past. Lan almost dying lay in the past.
"Please, let me heal you." Moiraine's voice wasn't more than a whisper.
The uncrowned king of Malkier sighed heavily. "There is no need-"
"Please." Light! Her voice was thick from unshed tears. Today was indeed a terrible day. So many bad memories were haunting her.
Moiraine could feel Lan's tension through the bond. He was torn between his wish to protect her from being detected and his longing to give her what she wanted. His fingers tightened in her dark locks like he wanted to pull her closer, which was impossible.
After what felt like an eternity, the Malkieri nodded. Immediately, the Cairhien woman tried to free her hands to embrace Saidar before he could change his mind. But the man from the Borderlands didn't let go of her.
"First, you promise me just to heal that cut. You won't delve me or search for other excuses to hold on to the One Power."
Moiraine's eyes widened. Bloody man! Why did he know her so well? "You can't-"
"If you don't give me your word, I will not let you use Saidar, Moiraine."
Growling, the Aes Sedai shot daggers at her Warder, who returned her gaze calmly. He wasn't joking. Her hands were still captured by his strong one and wouldn't be able to get free if he didn't release her.
Frustrated, Moiraine pulled her lower lip between her teeth. What should she do? Should she give him her word? On the other hand, what other choice did she have? Lan wouldn't let her heal him without that promise. And she couldn't let him run around with such a deep cut.
"Or…," Lan had noticed her inner struggle. "…we forget about it and simply enjoy the hot bath."
Insufferable man! How dared he to suggest such a foolish idea? When had she ever agreed to forget about an injury of his?
"Fine!" The woman of the Blue Ajah responded through gnashed teeth. "No delving. Now, let go of me."
But Lan shook his head. "You should know me better than trying to use wage promises with me, Moiraine. What was it you once said to Egwene? Exact verbiage. Words are important, and how we use them is important."
Surprised, Moiraine's eyes widened. "You heard that?" The words threw her back to a moment when they had been running from a Trolloc army, and she had tried to teach Egwene how to use the One Power. It had been in the middle of the night, and Lan…. "I thought you were checking the area back then."
"I did." Lan's eyes shone mischievously.
"Then how… how did you…?" Confused, Moiraine furrowed her forehead. It made no sense. "What did you do while I trained with Egwene?"
"I secured the area."
Apparently, Lan used one of Moiraine's Aes Sedai tricks. He was telling the truth but not the entire truth. There was something else Moiraine hadn't known of.
"What else did you do?"
A small smile appeared on her Warder's lips. It amused him that he had done something she hadn't noticed back then. "You were terribly injured and not doing well. You didn't expect me to lose sight of you, did you?"
Slowly, the Cairhien woman began to understand. "You followed me."
"I ensured always to have an eye on you."
"You did more than that when you were able to listen to my conversation with Egwene. How long did you watch us?" This time, the Malkieri didn't answer, but his eyes told her everything she needed to know. "You stayed with us the entire time."
"You kept channeling instead of saving your strength. Do you have any idea how pale you turned with every passing day?"
"I could handle it."
Lan snorted. "Because you pushed yourself to endure it and to keep going. You didn't think about yourself or about getting better. I'm not even sure you thought about finding a Sister to heal you."
"We had to protect the kids. We couldn't risk losing them."
A shadow fell over the Malkieri's face. "I lost them." Talking about the past was obviously not good for the man.
Quickly, Moiraine sent her love through the bond, then said softly, "You were forced to choose."
Lan's eyes moved to her shoulder, shooting daggers at the scar, which would always be a reminder of the Trolloc attack in the Two Rivers - at least for Moiraine. Lan's feelings seemed darker. What she felt through the bond… the man still thought he failed her.
"Lan-"
"You would have chosen differently." He was really not feeling well about that memory. "I choose you over them because I can't live in a world without you. But if it had been me who had been injured, you would've saved the children."
The Cairhien woman thought about telling him 'yes'. After all, she had told him in Cairhien that Rand was more important than she or him. But the First Oath tied her tongue.
One, to speak no word that is not true.
"No," she whispered.
Surprise rolled through the bond. "What do you mean?"
Moiraine bit her lip. Blood and ashes! "I wouldn't have saved the children."
"But Rand-"
"I wouldn't have saved the children." This time, her voice was firm, and she was able to look Lan in the eye. He was confused. "If your life is on the line, I will do anything to save you."