Torchwood: Divergence
Book Four: Hatchweliad
Chapter 27
Jack and Gwen exited the kitchenette when they were done, both automatically glancing at the CCTV feeds displayed at the workstations. Two views had Turlough in the carpark helping Martha check the van for anything she might need that wasn't already packed, and one of the cameras just installed last September showed that Ianto was outside beyond the Pierhead Building sitting on the steps of the Senedd with Lois.
"Okay, I'm gonna grab the SUV keys and go see if my Barista Boy's done mitigating my earlier screw-up," Harkness decided. "Get Turlough to help you feed the Weevils when he's done with Martha, then start opening all the empty chambers marked on the rework diagrams. We'll be back with the first cargo block as soon as we can. Watch that wrist today. No new bruises, yeah?"
"I'd tell you to give Rhys a kiss for me," Cooper laughed, following the immortal to the office. "But you'd actually do it and ruin him forever."
"Grab a couple of headsets for me," the Captain requested with a grin as he moved to fetch the key fob he wanted. "I promise to leave Harwood's with just a handshake, and tell him he'll have to collect the kiss when you get home tonight."
The former constable went to field the Bluetooth devices for her boss, handed them off as he settled his great coat and headed for the cog-wheel door. He disappeared after a moment, leaving her to peer at the CCTV and wonder what the pair outside on the steps were saying.
Up on the risers fronting the Senedd building, Lois had been surprised when Ianto had appeared and moved to join her. They'd simply sat in silence for some time, sipping their coffee and watching the occasional pedestrian wander through the area.
"How long did it take before you could look at a gory body and not start gagging?" Habiba queried after a span. "Were you only here for weeks, or did it take months? When were you able to watch an autopsy without throwing up, or actually be hands-on with a torn-up corpse? How long did it take to not feel faint when one of the team turned up with a gunshot wound or worse?"
"I did body pick-ups and disposals from the day I started here in Cardiff," Ianto stated quietly. "But I came into the job after surviving the Battle of Canary Wharf. The fighting down near the Archives, trying to get them sealed and get out was worse than any warzone you can imagine. Yet there wasn't time to register all the death and destruction. When I went into the floor that held the Cybermen's main stronghold to find my girlfriend, Lisa, there were corpses everywhere. Stacks of them with the tops of their heads cut off and their brains ripped out. Others were on or near the Conversion Units with their bodies laid open from chin to crotch, limbs missing or organs partially removed because the full body Conversion process was midway when the machines shut down. Lisa was lucky to be alive in all the fire and carnage, and I barely got her out before the Unit she'd been attached to burned. A few others weren't quite dead when I first got there, they were still screaming, trying to struggle even being all cut open, but none of them lasted long. I'd never seen anything worse than a cut deep enough to need a few stitches before that. And I was so focused on getting to Lisa, pulling her out of that place, I sort of blocked the rest out.
"But, when I went back an hour or so later, hunting an undamaged Conversion Unit to keep her alive, I couldn't ignore all the blood and mangled bodies. Some of them were co-workers I'd sat in the same departments with, one was Lisa's best friend, and she was still locked into the only Conversion Unit that was intact. I had to peel her off the table, because the fires had made the metal so hot it had melted her flesh to it, and I could've sworn she was staring at me the whole time. I lost track of how many times I threw up or freaked out getting back into that area, and after I had to move Tracey… I just kept telling them all 'I'm sorry' and crying my eyes out as I worked. It felt like it took forever to get the Conversion Unit's treads functioning enough to pull it to where I could use a forklift to get it out of the rubble and onto one of the Institute's lorries that hadn't been destroyed. What I lived through and saw that day still gives me nightmares sometimes, and likely always will."
The young Welshman was quiet for a moment, and Lois could see an echo of that past horror in his eyes, his expression one of devastation as he swallowed hard several times.
"After facing the aftermath of Torchwood One's fall," the twenty-six-year-old breathed with a shudder. "What I saw here wasn't so bad. Still took me a couple of months to not gag when handling a really messy corpse, or watching Owen perform an autopsy. I learned to deal with the horror of it, and how to talk myself out of being sick or freaking out. Same with team injuries. Honestly, the first gunshot wound I saw up close was my fault, when I shot Owen because he was messing with the Rift. Left shoulder, straight through, back to front. But even now I still feel the same queasy cold in my guts, the urge to turn away, the need for a hot shower and wish for someone to hold me tight, every time I see or have to handle a dead body… especially the ones that are really torn up. And children are the absolute worst no matter what."
"You hide it well," Lois murmured after a moment, not sure what else to say. "I've read some of the stuff on the system about what happened here with your girlfriend… but I had no idea what you went through when the London facility was destroyed. I can't even imagine seeing something like that once, let alone experiencing it twice, and not ending up Sectioned in an asylum afterward."
"Most of the people at Torchwood-Cardiff have some sort of baggage," Ianto stated evenly, managing a slight smile. "A couple of us are just way past the carry-on limit."
"Speaking of which," the twenty-nine-year-old beside him began uncertainly. "Did the Captain really mean what he said about anyone who gets 'used to' the ugly stuff around here?"
"Absolutely," Ianto nodded, meeting her dark-eyed gaze with complete neutrality. "Jack's seen more than his share of psychotics and sociopaths over the years, some of whom were fellow team members or friends… he's apparently even dated quite a few. If you want to understand his side of things better, take a look in the system when you have time alone. Check the for the files about Suzie Costello to start, then read the ones titled 'Gray' to get a more recent view. Just don't bring either up to anyone but me, yeah? Especially the second one… it still really bothers Jack, and I can't guarantee how he'd react if you asked about it. He might be okay, but then again he could go into complete bastard mode and get incredibly ugly."
"Sounds scary," Habiba frowned, not sure she wanted to look at either file when her companion nodded again. "So, what can I do to 'deal' with mangled corpses without completely embarrassing myself?"
"Believe it or not," the Changeling replied as he finished his coffee. "An in-depth anatomy class helps tonnes. Steady but controlled exposure. After that, peeking in on any of the autopsies Martha does. It allows you see the real thing and still have a loo close at hand just in case. And unlike Owen, she won't ask you to come hold someone's heart or liver while she digs for something behind or beside it."
"Oh, my God!" Lois blurted in surprise. "Did he really do that?"
"Oh, yes," Ianto confirmed, grimacing in remembered disgust. "Did it to Gwen too when she first hired on, then had the gall to complain when she chucked up on his fancy new trainers. Jack told him he was lucky she'd turned her head and not polluted the corpse. I think it was his own twisted version of initiation rites… tosser."
"Sounds like a real charmer," the young black woman gaped. "Wow… okay, so I'll look into a good anatomy class, and ask Martha if I can glance at her autopsies after I'm more comfortable with what I've learned. And hope it works."
"You'll be fine," Ianto reassured with a quick smile, reaching over to hand her his cup and give her a tiny pat on the shoulder, even as Jack ghosted up beside them. "We'll be back, and you'll be too busy to worry about any body but your own for a while after that."
"I take it the magnificent Mr. Jones talked you down off the ledge my 'bad cop' routine shoved you out on earlier," the Captain surmised, giving their receptionist an apologetic smile. "Did he tell you what a blood thirsty tyrant I am? Promise to protect you with life and limb?"
"Actually, no," Habiba smiled back, rising from the steps to follow the two men back across the Quay toward the kiosk door. "He told me a really horrific, incredibly gruesome story about how he learned the hard way to avoid throwing up around corpses, gave me some tips on how I can do it without all the psychological trauma, and advised me to read a couple of files for proper Torchwood perspective. Though I wouldn't say no to the whole protecting me with life and limb thing… oops… he already does and so do you. So, I think we're good."
Harkness laughed, and reached over to give the young woman a one-armed hug as they approached the door into the base.
"You are definitely worthy of being Ianto's successor on the team," he stated approvingly. "Just don't freak out too badly when you read the files on Suzie and Gray. They aren't pretty by any means, but really get the point across about what can happen when a person stops caring about life. I've gotten way too close to that line myself at times, stepped over it more than once. And I still can't forgive myself for the things I did when it happened. Well… most of them anyway."
"Deep breaths," Ianto suggested, using the same bid for calm that the older man normally employed with him. "We've got too much to do today for either of us to stress out now."
"You two go on," Lois urged, patting their leader on the arm after putting up the 'Closed for Maintenance' sign and shooting the bolt of the door. "We'll be ready and waiting with all the cool hovers and big smiles when you get back."
She made a shooing gesture toward the underground carpark as they entered the corridor behind the TIC, then turned toward the lift. This time it was Ianto who got a hold of his lover's hand and started them moving in the right direction. He felt the older immortal give his fingers an appreciative squeeze, some of the tension in his own shoulders easing with that tiny show of affection. It was going to be another long, hard day.
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AN: Ianto's got Lois' back…
Thank you to those reading the story. And thank you to those who have followed, favourited, and reviewed. NM