A/N: Here it is: The Vaggie Chapter. Ft. Alastor being an asshole.

ANGEL WITH A SPEAR

It took Vaggie precisely five minutes to realize the blunder she had made.

She had sent Charlie, Professional Cinnamon Roll, into the den of one of the vilest demons in hell. Honestly, she'd take Epstein over Valentino.

Overlords gained power by making deals – Soul binding deals that no demon could break or disobey. The ultimate deal was obtaining the soul of a person. Such a deal gave the owner complete power over the one who had sold their soul. It forced the owner to carry out whatever they had promised, but that didn't mean much unless a solid timeline had been established. Contracts could be interpreted in a million different ways, which is why the smartest thing anyone could do while dealing with souls was to not make a deal at all. A soul contract could not be forced under any circumstances, not could a soul be forcibly taken. Such was the power of free will that humans had received from the forbidden fruit.

Now, Charlie was the Princess of Hell. While the average newbie sinner would be intimidated by such a title, especially so considering exactly who her father was, it only took a few months for sinners to realize that Charlie was a joke. Vaggie didn't like badmouthing her girlfriend, but it was true. Charlie had the authority to do anything she wanted, but she never did.

Also, her status meant that obtaining her soul meant that any sinner that did so would instantly find themselves at the top of Hell's hierarchy; On the level of the Seven Deadly Sins, at the very least.

Aaaaannndd, she had just sent her right towards the most despicable overlord in hell, along with the crippling weakness that was Angel Dust, given that he was already under contract.

"Fuck."

"Figured it out, did you?" Husk, their resident bartender and Alastor's slave said, sipping from a can as he lounged on the couch, flipping through the TV channels. "The Princess is too smart to give her soul away, but we both know that she ain't got what it takes to pull it off."

"Fuckfuckfuck!" Vaggie screamed. "What was I thinking?!"

"Trouble, my dear?" With a burst of radio static, Alastor, their resident overlord was behind her. While the scare tactic might've worked on lesser demons, she was an ex-exorcist, and was one of the best. This guy didn't scare her.

"Alastor! Sent me to the Vees' tower, now!"

"Hmm, how about no."

"Charlie's in danger, you asshole!"

"I know. But seeing you panic is so much fun."

"Listen here, you puta, if anything happens to her, Lucifer will come down here, and your head will be the first on the chopping block. And that is if I don't gut you myself!" She yelled, summoning her divine spear.

Alastor chuckled.

"The difference between us, dear, is that I believe that our resident ball of sunshine and rainbows will be just fine! All of us believe that she is a capable young woman. The only person who doubts her is you," He turned into a shadow, and in the blink of an eye, he was behind her, running his hand over her shoulder. "I wonder what she would think if she ever wizened up and realized that you are her biggest obstacle?"

She swung her spear with all her might, only to hit nothing. Alastor was fifteen feet away, that unflappable smile still on his face. And he was still talking.

"You always have such nasty things to say about us sinners. 'Irredeemable monsters', 'Deranged', 'Heartless'. Sounds to me that you don't believe in the Princess. Agreed, no one really does, but we do believe that she will change Hell in a big way.

"How long do you think it will take her to realize that you're the shackles that prevent her from doing what she wants?"

Vaggie saw red, but at the same time, his words hit her hard. She shook her head.

"You don't know anything about Charlie. She needs me, now!"

"Ah, but this isn't a question of who she does and does not need! This is a question of who believes in her capacity to perform independently! You believe that she is dependent upon your presence and protection, whereas I believe that she will conduct herself splendidly!"

"She's in your rivals' territory! You're the first one they'll go for if they get her!"

The corner of his mouth twitched downward, but the smile remained.

"And I have complete confidence that our leader will leave that place without a scratch on her!" He began dissolving into shadows. "Something to think about."

Vaggie remained rooted in place. His words burrowed into her mind, echoing again and again. Was she a bad girlfriend for thinking that Charlie, the third-highest authority in Hell, needed protection from someone like her?

"Y'know," Husk said, casually sipping from his can. "For someone who hates overlords so much, you sure take what they say to heart. That's the way manipulators get you; They tell you the worst parts of the truth, and exaggerate those parts to distract from the rest of the truth.

"I've known Charlie a lot longer than you, and you're right to be worried. Her parents slacked on toughening her up, which is why she'll walk out of there without Angel Dust, with overlords trying to snatch her soul all the while. And with her bleeding heart and Angel right there with her, Valentino might actually get her soul if she's not careful."

Vaggie thought for a moment, and then made a decision.

"I can run all the way there. I could make it in twenty minutes if I-"

She was cut off as Husk threw a playing card at her faster than she could react. It hit her in the head, and she felt gravity go haywire for a second.

When the world stopped spinning and everything returned to normal, she realized that she was no longer in the Hazbin Hotel. She was standing in an old, dilapidated card shop, where a seven of spades was embedded in a wall. Same as the seven of spades lying at her feet. She looked out the broken door and saw that the porn studio was only a few minutes away, even while casually jogging. She'd make it in two is she went on an all-out sprint.

She mentally thanked Husk as she picked up the card he had thrown at her. Summoning whatever divinity she had, she burst into a sprint, far faster than any ordinary demon could ever hope to match. She leapt over brawling sinners, slashed apart cars that got in her way, and simply ran through any impeding walls, her exterminator biology toughening her against any incoming threat.

With a superhuman jump that broke the sound barrier, she launched herself at the porn studio, where she could sense Charlie, her divine energy sticking out like a sore thumb among the demons. As the wall approached, she drew her fist back, and just as she got close enough, she punched. The wall of the building exploded inwards, and she stabbed the floor with her spear to slow herself down.

"Vaggie?!"

She could hear the surprise in her girlfriend's voice. Her eyes narrowed, trying to see through the dust she had kicked up with her entrance. And as the dust thinned, she saw Charlie.

She also saw Valentino, right next to Charlie, holding her hand, which was coated in purple slime.

Now, Vaggie wasn't the sharpest spear in the forge, but it didn't take a genius to figure out how Valentino operated.

This bastard had tried to drug Charlie.

Now, she knew that Charlie was not easy to kill by any metric. Being the Princess of Hell, Charlie could take quite a bit of punishment before being affected. A prime example being that nothing short of Bezeljuice could get her intoxicated. Logically, she knew that Valentino's drugs were going to do jack shit to Charlie.

But the logical part of her brain wasn't in charge. He had dared to touch her girlfriend with his filthy hands, with the intent to perform unspeakable horrors upon her.

Yeah. She was killing this guy now.

"Get away from him, Charlie," She growled, taking large, unwavering strides towards them. Well, as large as her strides could be when she was five foot four. "I'm going to kill this vieja!"

"Vaggie, wait-"

Valentino snorted, snapping his fingers. A few heavyset sinners stepped forth, but to her, they were in slow motion, and Valentino clearly had no expectations of her.

Meaning that he did not anticipate the spear thrust one bit. And even if he had, he did not expect the holy nature of the spear.

Only when the spearhead stuck a foot out of his back, covered in blood, that he realized the predicament he found himself in.

With a roar, Vaggie swung her spear, flinging him off and into his security, who were all looking a lot more hesitant. It was one thing to challenge a sinner while knowing that you couldn't die, versus fighting one that had the one weapon that could permanently kill them. Cowards, the lot of them. If she had been a sinner, they could have beaten her by attacking all at once.

"Charlie! Did he hurt you?"

While she had enough wrath to murder each and every one of Valentino's employees, they were unimportant, especially so, given that Charlie was right there, and was the whole reason why she was here.

"Uh, no, not really," Charlie said, raising her arm, which was still coated in Valentino's slime. "Well, he licked me, but it's not like that's going to do anything."

Her arm burst into flames, instantly carbonizing the filth he had left behind. "See? No harm done. Did you really need to stab him?"

"That's the thing, Charlie: He didn't know that he couldn't harm you. Do you have any idea what he would've done to you if it had actually worked?!"

"Ugh," Charlie said, shuddering. "But don't worry, I'd never let it get to that point."

"Babe, you're the Princess of Hell, and you just let him lick your arm. Humans have killed peasants like him for even looking at a princess. You should've had him on his knees.

"But you're not like that, and I forgot that part. I shouldn't have told you to do something that is so against your nature, and for that, I'm sorry. But I will not apologize for killing him. Even you need to realize that there are lines that need to be drawn, and that you can't save everyone."

"Don't you think that's a little harsh?"

"We both know that even you're not naïve enough to believe that," Both Vaggie and Angel Dust said at the same time. "That guy's an irredeemable monster."

"Come on, guys-" Charlie began, but an instant later, her eyes widened dramatically. Faster than anyone could react, she shoved her sideways and into Angel Dust. A split-second later, the sound of a gunshot reached their ears.

Vaggie's eye widened as she spun to look at her girlfriend.

Charlie was in demon mode. Her horns were out, her eyes were glowing red, her hair was on fire, and she had a tail. That was a new one.

And in between her thumb and index finger, she held a holy bullet. Turning her head to the side, Vaggie saw Valentino, holding a smoking gun. Based on the positioning, the bullet would've hit her right in the back of her head had Charlie not pushed her aside.

Judging by how her eye had not regenerated after Lute had slashed it out, despite once regenerating the entire upper half of her body in ten seconds a few decades ago, she really did not want to know what a holy bullet would've done upon contact with the back of her skull.

CRUNCH!

Everyone's eyes snapped to Charlie, who had just crushed the holy bullet like it was made from aluminum foil.

"You dare," She growled, her teeth elongating. Her fingers elongated slightly, becoming sharper and harder. Her tail whipped through the air, producing a deafening crack as it broke the sound barrier. Her eyes focused on the gun in Valentino's hand, and it melted in seconds. "You have crossed your last line."

Vaggie knew what was about to happen before it did. And she had to stop it.

Despite being over two-hundred years old, Charlie, the Princess of Hell, had never actually killed anyone. Had Vaggie still been an exorcist, she would have laughed at the idea and called it propaganda. The Princess of literal Hell, the daughter of the Morningstar that had betrayed God, had not committed murder.

Vaggie, on the other hand, had committed genocide, making her an expert on the subject. And she knew that unless you were a total psychopath, the first life you took changed you. And she knew that even with all the darkness that Charlie kept locked away, she was not a psycho. She was sweet, kindhearted, generous, and just straight up good. Even the angels in Heaven could not compare, except perhaps Emily.

She did not want Charlie to lose that part of her, the part that was so fundamental to her character. If she took Valentino's life, she'd be horrified by her own actions later on, despite it being the right thing to do.

This was why she was here. Charlie didn't have it in her, not yet at least, to do what needed to be done. She could do it. No, she needed to be the one to do it.

"Charlie!" She exclaimed, grabbing her by the wrist. Charlie's entire body jerked, nearly breaking her grip. "He's not worth it. Let it go."

"He tried to kill you!" Charlie growled, her skin temperatures reaching levels where even Vaggie was uncomfortable.

"But he didn't," Vaggie said, despite being seriously tempted to let Charlie loose and join in on the beatdown. "Look at him, Charlie; He's nothing. Once it gets out that a random sinner stabbed him, his reputation will be done for. Killing him is below your station."

She heard rubble shifting from behind her, and a pained grunt that indicated Valentino trying to stand up.

"On the other hand," She said, summoning her spear back into her hand. "I don't have those restrictions."

She stomped up to Valentino, who was now backing away in fear. None of the other demons dared approach them.

"All of you!" Valentino screamed; Collars made of red smoke appearing around the necks of every one of his employees in the room. "Kill her!"

Now, that was something that might have worked, had Vaggie been willing to sit around and wait for it to happen. Which, put in short order, she wasn't.

She spun her spear, breaking the chains that led to his hands, and then with a simple move, she sliced Valentino in half, vertically. His two halves fell apart, and the smoke collars around everyone's necks disappeared into nothingness.

There was a moment of silence.

"I call his watch!" A sinner screamed, and Vaggie barely had time to jump back before everyone stampeded, trying to rip every bit of wealth Valentino had on his cooling corpse.

Looking back, she saw that Charlie was back to normal; Her horns shrinking back into her forehead. Angel Dust stood next to her, all six hands rubbing his own neck like he didn't believe it. Vaggie felt a surge of empathy for him; No one deserved what he had gone through.

"Th-That's it?" He stuttered. "All those years….. And that's all it took?"

"Yup."

He collapsed to his knees, sobbing in relief. She felt bad for him – For who knows how many decades, he had been under Valentino's thumb, and over the years, for him, Valentino had changed from a simple abuser to a larger-than-life invincible monster that he could never hope to escape. He had never even considered the possibility that someone would be able to get him out of his situation. He hadn't even thought that anyone had the ability to do so.

It was sad.

But that was in the past. Valentino was dead now, perma-killed by angelic spear. His soul was gone forever, never to return unless literally God willed it, which was basically impossible.

(If it did happen…. Then maybe Lucifer was right to try and overthrow Heaven.)

"Let's get out of here, you guys," Charlie said, gently pulling Angel to his feet. "As the manager of the hotel, our next activity for the day is going to be lazing around and eating pizza!"

"Okay," Angel sniffed, wiping away his tears. He allowed a small smile on his face. "But only as long as there's no pineapple."

"Aw, but that's the best part!"

"Santa Maria!" Both Angel and Vaggie exclaimed simultaneously. "No wonder you're in Hell!"

"Well, so are you!" Charlie pouted. "I bet you were sent here for slandering pineapple pizza. Everyone knows that it's the best!"

"Chuck, you just triggered every Italian in the universe."

"Well then, you can tell them that there's pineapple-free pizza in Heaven."

"You know," Vaggie interjected. "That might actually a better advertisement than anything we've done yet!"

"Why are both of you bullying me?" Charlie whined, and Angel and Vaggie couldn't help but laugh.

No doubt that their problems were far from over. Vox and Velvette were still alive, and would no doubt seek retribution. There were countless other foes that they would need to face.

But she knew that come Hell or high water, they would pull through.

A/N: Writing Vaggie is hard for us. Hope you enjoyed!

Next Chapter: The Big Leagues.