Lorelei Tsing stared at the supplies organised before her. Bandages folded into a neat pile, jars of ointments, wood splints and stitches and other things she had organised and set aside were all laid out neatly upon the table.
She sat in the centre of a large room off the main healer's hall. Outside the shut doors she could hear quiet voices, she could hear laughter at times, a grunt or a murmur of pain and perhaps a reprimand a little too full of anger to be considered kind. But she pushed all those sounds aside as she forced herself to focus.
She continued to organise the supplies, she continued to take note of what was needed to be replenished and she tried not to let her thoughts turn back the time. She had spent too long living in the past, she had spent too long wishing she could change things and she had spent too long feeling anguish and regret and so many other emotions that she'd do herself no good thinking about it any longer.
And yet she couldn't help it.
Lorelei felt a tear threatening to pull at the corners of her eyes and so she swiped her hand across her face, she took in a steadying breath and she turned away from her supplies in an attempt to gather herself.
It only took her a moment to calm herself, it only took her a moment to settle her breathing but in that time she stood from the chair she had been sitting upon. She stared up at the ceiling and she tried to think of something a little kinder, even just for a moment.
Through an open window high up in the ceiling she could see clouds drifting through the sky. It must have been near midday from the light, the blue and the sun that made the clouds seem to glow a pristine white overhead. As she stared she even found herself eyeing a bird or two that drifted on the wind before moving out of view from the window.
She smiled, she took in a deep breath and she found herself focusing on that action, on the air she breathed, on the scents that she had once never dared dream of.
And for a moment she was happy, for a moment she could forget.
But just as always it didn't last.
Lorelei shook her head, she chewed on her lip and she frowned as she turned from the open window and looked back at her supplies.
A knock on the door broke her attention and she looked up to find it opening just a fraction.
"Healer," a man's voice said quietly.
"Hey Jast," Lorelei said.
"I apologise for the interruption," he added, his gaze shifting briefly over to her half organised supplies.
"It's ok," Lorelei said as she started walking towards him. "How can I help?" she asked once she stood in front of the man, her gaze quickly taking him in as she searched for signed of injury.
"Fleimkepa Titus has requested your presence," Jast said.
That didn't entirely surprise Lorelei, but it did spike her curiosity a little.
"Now?" she asked.
"Yes," Jast answered her.
He stood aside as if to let her pass.
"Give me a second," she turned back to the table full of supplies. "I just need to grab some things," she assumed someone was hurt or injured. That was mostly what she was called for these days.
Walking through the streets of Polis city was always an experience. Lorelei had been so overwhelmed at first that she had felt lost, dizzy, even scared. But she had walked the streets, walked amongst the people enough that the fear and discomfort had faded. At least enough that she could enjoy it.
And yet there was that ever present tingle of guilt that existed somewhere in the recesses of her mind. Perhaps it helped that people didn't look at her with anything more than a healthy wariness at her being different.
But maybe she wished she'd feel a little more hostility if only because she felt like she deserved it.
Lorelei continued to weave through the crowds as she made her way back to Polis tower. She passed shopfronts and stores she recognised, she passed by people, some familiar to her, others she knew by name, a few she was friendly with and even more that she had never seen before.
Polis had always been a bustling, busy, frantic city filled with people from all the clans. It was far enough away from Mount Weather and its threat that people could forget, close enough to a number of clan borders that it had been welcomed as the capital generations ago.
Lorelei still marvelled at it, she didn't think she'd ever tire of it. The streets, the bustling life, the sounds were all so different to what life had been like in Mount Weather and it had taken her and the others so long to get used to it that sometimes late at night she had wondered if she would ever stop feeling like a stranger.
It was with that thought that she arrived at the foot of Polis tower. Its weathered, earthy yellow warm stone stretched up high into the sky. Atop its very height was the eternal flame that cast its light out in every direction during the night and during the day seemed like a second sun.
Guards stood at the main entrance to Polis tower. Banners for each clan hung from the walls and servants, city folk and all sorts of people moved in and out.
The city and the tower were always alive with commotion and Lorelei's presence barely registered upon those that walked by. She and Jast spared just a quick moment of words exchanged with the guards before they stepped inside. The subtle warmth of the day was replaced by the cool of the stone and Lorelei tugged her coat a little more firmly upon her shoulders.
"Fleimkepa Titus is in the throne room," Jast said as they both headed towards the wooden elevator.
Lorelei didn't think she'd ever get used to the elevator and its rackety wood construction. She'd much rather the technological and the advanced but all that wasn't trapped away from them forever.
Just as she thought, Lorelei and Jast's ride up the elevator was rackety, creaks of rope and leathers and wood echoed out around her and she stamped down her dislike enough that she could start trying to figure out what she'd need to do.
She assumed a guard or a servant had been hurt, she assumed anything could really be possible given Titus was the one to summon her. She stepped out of the elevator with those thoughts in mind. Jast was right by her side, the man an almost constant shadow to her ever since her life had changed dramatically.
It didn't take them long before they arrived at the throne room. Guards stood outside, each one nodded their heads in greeting as they approached before one pulled the doors open and let them through.
The first thing Lorelei registered was that Titus stood with this back to them as he stood in front of a large window. The second thing she noticed was that there wasn't anyone present who seemed hurt. A few warriors milled about in quiet conversation, an ambassador or two and even a servant stood to one side ready to jump to attention should someone require anything.
Titus turned at their presence and Lorelei felt him pin her with a steady gaze before beckoning her forward.
"Everyone leave us," Titus said, his voice firm and steady as it carried out through the room.
Lorelei approached, she nodded at a few people she was familiar with and then she waited until they were alone. Jast stood off to the side, the man's arms folded across his chest.
Titus didn't say anything for a moment as he looked at her. Lorelei could see his mind turning, she could see him considering something else and she was content to wait until he spoke.
"Heda Lexa has summoned you," Titus said after another long pause.
Lorelei's eyebrows lifted in surprise. There was a moment of worry before Titus lifted a hand and shook his head.
"No one is injured," he said. "However," he paused once more, turned as if he wished to start pacing before he stopped and turned back to her. "She requires your expertise."
Lorelei simply shrugged her shoulders. It wasn't the first time the Commander had summoned her, but it hadn't happened for months. Curiosity had taken hold but there wasn't anything else she could do other than just nod her head in understanding.
"I'm happy to help," she said and she didn't realise she was worrying her hands together until she felt the bite of her nails against her palm.
Lorelei let her hands fall to her side.
"You will be travelling to Ton DC," Titus continued. "I will send warriors with you for protection."
Lorelei nodded her head. It wasn't that she was scared of returning back to Ton DC and the surrounding forests, it wasn't that reapers would be present, but she knew she'd feel the guilts tenfold, she knew she'd feel the responsibilities.
"What's this about?" she asked and she tried figuring out what it was she was needed for.
Titus didn't answer her immediately and from that Lorelei could guess his answer before he even spoke.
"Ripas," Titus said with a single nod of his head. "Heda Lexa requires your expertise in this matter."
Lorelei just nodded her head in response. She wasn't going to push the subject, she didn't even know if Titus knew fully what she was needed for. The Commander always had a way of keeping information on a need to know basis at times, especially when it came to the reapers or Mount Weather.
And so Lorelei took in a deep breath as she started thinking about everything that had happened to her in the past. She started thinking about the reapers, what she knew, what she didn't know and what could be and she knew she'd help in any way she could.
It was the least she could do.
"So when do I go?" she asked.
It was late afternoon and Clarke found herself sitting in front of a large bonfire in the centre of Ton DC. The sun was perhaps just beginning to touch the horizon and through the trees that hid Ton DC from view the sunlight's rays dappled down against the ground and lingered in the air.
Clarke was tired. Her legs had started to ache and she assumed it the exertion of the climb and the adrenaline that had long since faded from her body.
She was thankful that she sat on an oddly comfortable log that let her kick her legs out in front of her. A few other warriors lingered about and she couldn't help but to wonder what they thought of her. At times she'd look at one, perhaps to explore with her gaze who they were and some met her gaze and held it, others glanced away quickly as if they didn't want to draw her attention to them.
She didn't blame them, she didn't think she'd know what to think if she were in their position. She had come crashing to the ground in a ball of fire, she had thrown their world upside down and had been the cause of the death of one of their friends.
Clarke took in a heavy breath before exhaling. The sigh was loud, tired, it lingered in the air but it helped in some way clear the thoughts. Or settle her mind.
The initial bravado in Lexa's tent had worn off a little too. Of course she meant it when she said she'd figure out a cure for the ripas and she still did. But now that she had time to sit and think she realised it was probably going to be harder than that.
Clarke stared into the fire as she continued to think though. She thought over what she knew. She thought over the things she didn't know. The ripas were created in some way by whoever had once called Mount Weather home. Or something had gone terribly wrong and had caused people to lose their minds.
Whatever the cause was contagious, not from air, not from touch, but blood? Saliva? She thought it had to be one of those. She had spent enough time in the Ark's medbay with her mother to guess that whatever it was must have been a virus of some kind. She wondered how long it would take for the virus to take hold or if it happened too fast for most people to react.
She had questions. Ones she needed to ask other people who had more experience. She'd need to speak to anyone from Mount Weather, she'd need to speak to any warriors who had fought the ripas and she knew she'd need to come to Lexa with a plan.
And that plan she knew she shouldn't embrace simply because she could see it already leading down into the depths of Mount Weather.
Clarke worried her lip as she started considering Mount Weather once more.
She didn't know if she had been lucky those first few nights as she had explored Mount Weather. She wondered if the ripas were deeper underground or if they had been asleep or somewhere else and it had been nothing but luck that had kept her alive.
And yet as she thought, as she recalled, as she remembered she realised that there had been no sign of life. There had been no sign of anything larger than a small forest critter and perhaps that gave her a little more information than she had previously.
The ripas called Mount Weather home. But it wasn't the parts close to the surface, it wasn't the entrances, the opening that was their home.
And Clarke didn't know what to do with that information. Not yet.
But it was a little more information than she had moments ago so she'd take it.
Clarke yawned then, she brought a hand up to her mouth and she felt a pop in her jaw as she exhaled and blinked back the sleep. Movement to her left pulled her attention and Clarke looked up to find Indra walking towards her.
It wasn't the first time Clarke had looked at the older woman but for some reason Clarke found herself truly taking in her appearance. Her face was as stern as it always had been, the same scars and tattoos danced across her face and her posture was somehow stiff and poised, serpentine and rigid all at the same time.
Indra held a tray in her hands and it took Clarke a second to realise that Indra had come to a stop in front of her, the tray held out in offering.
"Food," Indra said eventually. "Eat."
Clarke stood up from the log quickly, she winced at the pain in her muscles as she took the tray and then sat back down with a quiet oomph of pain.
"Is this from Lexa?" Clarke asked.
Indra stared at her for a moment, there was a subtle shifting of her face that Clarke couldn't read before Indra answered her.
"Yes," Indra said. "I am to watch you for the time being."
Clarke felt a tight smile touch her lips. She didn't mind, not really. It was to be expected and she thought Indra's company a little nicer than some of the others around her, even if Indra seemed standoffish and cold.
Or perhaps it was simply because Indra had been the one to show her the bathhouse, even if ordered to do so.
"Sit," Clarke said as she patted the log. "There's more than enough space," she tried to smile a little more honestly as she looked up at Indra.
She watched as the woman considered her request before she shifted her stance and lowered herself onto the log. Clarke felt the smile spread a little more fully across her lips, if only because Indra's company was perhaps the first step in showing these people she could be trusted.
"Thank you for the food," Clarke said quickly before she offered the tray to Indra. "Are you hungry?"
"No," Indra shook her head. "Eat."
Clarke just nodded her head and hummed a response before turning her attention to the plate in her hands. Berries of all shapes and sizes, what she thought was a block of cheese and something savoury, perhaps a dried meat, maybe fish lay before her.
Clarke was hungry. She thought she'd always be hungry. She hadn't gotten over the fact that food existed in such plentiful, varying forms. She picked up the first piece of food and started eating, the quiet moan that escaped her lips involuntary. She sighed, she looked up into the purpling sky overhead and she let her thoughts settle, sift, weave together for the time being.
She had so many questions. She had so many unknowns, she had so many things she wanted to explore but she didn't have time.
Clarke looked over at Indra to find the older woman still seated just as she had been, her gaze settled somewhere in the distance. One of her hands lay on the hilt of a knife, the other slowly tapping against her thigh as if she was keeping time to something in her mind.
Clarke knew life on the ground was harsh, she knew it was brutal, that death could come for anyone without warning. It worried her that her people weren't ready for it. It worried her that her people would probably think they knew better and she knew it wouldn't be easy to integrate, to become part of the people who called the Earth home.
But she'd make sure they'd find a place, she'd make sure they'd work together, she'd make sure they'd make life better for everyone. It was the only thing they could do.
She just hoped other people would see the same.
"What was life like before?" Clarke asked suddenly.
She looked back at Indra to find the other woman looking at her cautiously. Perhaps there was a slight touch of suspicion in her gaze but Clarke just let herself be read, let herself be studied. She had nothing to hide.
"The ripas almost destroyed our way of life," Indra said eventually.
"I'm sorry," Clarke wasn't sure she'd ever be able to understand. But she could empathise.
Indra didn't respond for another long moment. Clarke could see her thinking back the years, she could see her reliving moments, memories and so many other things.
"They came suddenly," Indra started. She was looking back into the fire, her gaze had hardened. "Without warning," Indra said. "Many did not survive the initial days."
Clarke swallowed hard. She couldn't imagine what it must have been like, not knowing what, how or why the ripas came to be. She didn't even know those answers. Clarke took in everything Indra said with a seriousness that she felt deep within her core. She could tell Indra had lost someone, or people, friends, family, loved ones. It didn't matter and Clarke didn't think she'd ask.
"I know your people are wary of me and my people," Clarke said quietly. "I know you probably don't even trust me or think I'm capable of helping at all," Clarke didn't even say it to sound judgemental or bitter. She said it in the hopes Indra would understand that Clarke knew her place in the world, knew the things she didn't know and wouldn't and didn't think herself above it all.
"You are new to our world," Indra said.
"Even still," Clarke shrugged. "I want to help. We will help," she nodded as if to punctuate her words.
Indra let out a deep sigh as she stared back at her.
"That is what they said," Indra's voice was flat, as if emotion had escaped every part of her. There was a harsh and cold bite to her tone that Clarke couldn't quite place before Indra stood and nodded her head to her. "Now eat."