Chapter 47: Honeymoon

In what was, perhaps, the greatest change of his character since he began courting Miss Edie Cartwell, Captain Levi of the Scouts left one dirty pot, two used bowls, and a crusty wooden stirring spoon in an un-sanitized sink, in addition to two pairs of pants, shirts, and undergarments strewn on the bedroom floor, an incredibly unkempt bed till late in the morning, and one (accidentally) broken cat figurine. Even though he woke up in the wee hours of the morning, as evidenced by two glasses of water on the nightstand, he took preference to hold his wife instead of madly cleaning the kitchen. Even though she slumbered well after the sun rose, well after he was fully awake, he chose to hold her close, with her head resting against his bare chest, and his hands clasped around her naked waist. The sheets and blankets shielded them from the mountainous cold, and they shielded each other from any further inquiry against their affection toward one another. As she rested, ever so peacefully, he tended to the knots in her hair, a consequence of the previous night's tangle, and left the bed only momentarily to get some combing oil. Although still asleep, when he returned, she murmured in discontent, and their legs locked under the covers.

He paused every few minutes, overcome with wonder. Not only was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen in bed with him, but she was his wife. She'd agreed to marry him, and even though he was getting the worse end of the deal. Somehow, in a way he didn't understand, she thought even briefly that the prospect of children was a dealbreaker for him. He swore to himself, that never again would she have reason to look as distraught as she had that day at the treehouse, fearful more for his happiness than falling fifty feet to her death. He'd met plenty of women in the underground, and some in the Scouts, who understood the peril of life, the inevitability of suffering and common end in death. He'd met none who shared both that knowledge, yet held that conviction that life was worth fighting for. His Edie. A gorgeous contradiction bearing the worst humanity had to offer and the hope for a stable future. He'd expected to spend a lifetime going on missions beyond the walls, watching dozens of hearty and stupid teenagers die each time, and return to a hollow, empty home. The thought of holding this beautiful woman at the end of each mission, of being able to protect her, to ensure her safety and happiness, didn't help to reconcile the injustice and suffering, but made it bearable. Levi took a deep, measured breath with each knot he untangled. The hairs would get messy once again, but now he had a purpose to live through each mission. Not to train the next generation, plan the next frontal assault, or attend another funeral. To untangle this waterfall, too frequently tied back in a bun. The guilt of surviving didn't sting as much. Not with this sacred purpose.

There lingered, of course, dangers of the future. He could lie to himself now, in the comfort of an isolated cabin, but not when he ventured beyond the wall and left his petite wife in a countryside home. He'd taken some measures to ensure her safety when he couldn't be around, just simple safeguards, but life was unpredictable. He knew he would have to be vigilant, knew that he would have another reason to not sleep on missions. But it would be worth it, to come home to this comforting scene. In a sense, though, he knew he had duped her. Levi could see it in Erwin's eyes, the day he told him they were engaged, and the day of their wedding. Beginning a marriage with untold truths was dangerous, not that Erwin would know personally. But Edie would understand. Whenever he gazed into her eyes, he knew. There would be no change in her feelings or devotion to him, even though the truth was soaked in blood.

No one in the Scouts, except Hange and Erwin, dared laugh in his face, but he noticed the sideways stares when they announced the engagement and when the wedding invitations went out. Only a handful of Scouts reached a marriageable age, and an infinitesimal percentage of those wanted to tie their life with another. Their race was littered with one-night stands, friends with benefits, might-have-been's cut short by a mission gone wrong. He sensed a layer of respect protecting him from an onslaught of opinions and expected a lot of tense well-wishes when he returned. Not that he minded. The main reason he, Hange, and Erwin got on so well was cutting small talk and getting to the heart of things. Hange told him upright that if he hurt Edie, she wouldn't speak to him and might even defect to the Military Police. Erwin frankly said that she had left him once, and his attention couldn't afford to be divided when they were on missions. If his squad suffered any casualties, it would be on his head, on his ring.

They liked her, of course, and even respected her, to a degree. They circled exaggerated versions of her leading a titan away from her village, ranging from her standing on a rooftop and threatening the beast to slaying it herself with a branch sharpened during the horseback ride. They appreciated her presence at the memorials and decorating ceremonies and appreciated not having to curb their language around her. His squad adored her and might prefer having her as a captain, if his instincts didn't speak for themselves. They were devastated at the brief separation and nearly threw a Sina-wide party at the engagement, only curbed by his orders to be discreet, to keep the wedding in-house. But at the end of the day, he was a Scout, and she wasn't.

But they don't know her, not really, he told himself. I would have been able to resist, to keep my distance, if her character were any different. But from the very first moment, I knew I could trust her with my life. All of it. Even the parts that have been buried for years. No one's fears are assuaged by words. Actions, however, will dispel any doubts that Erwin, Hange, or my comrades have about this marriage. They'll see that my devotion to her in no way lessens my zeal for our common cause.

He struggled with the possibility, as miniscule as it was, that she would be too overcome by his demons and flee from fear. In a sense, it would be a blessing, to be free of a derisive look knitted with an obligation to stay. The worst of it, if she stayed, happy and content, and were harmed in any way as a result. He wouldn't let that happen, yet there remained mission months where she would be alone in the countryside, with only a few neighbors to make sure she was taken care of and safe. Yet another reason the Scouts were a solitary class.

At last, his bride stirred and opened her eyes, surprised at first at her naked state and the closeness of her husband, then amused by his activity. "It's a nest not worth untangling. I really ought to cut it all off."

"Don't you dare."

"You like it?"

"Mm hmm." He finished working through a final knot and ran his hand over her sleek hair. "Your shining crown."

"Fine. But whenever it reaches my feet and catches up to my front, I'm at least giving it a trim." She tapped his nose. "And you're obligated to keep it looking nice, or it's gone."

"Is that an order?"

"A…request, borderline suggestion."

"Yes, sir."

"Sir?"

"What would you like your rank to be?"

Edie thought for a moment. "…wife?"

"You've already secured that."

"Well, I don't need another title. This one suits me just fine."

"Good." He sat up, and she rested her head on his lap. "Consider it done."

She traced her fingers on his chest, running her nail gently against an indent near his right shoulder. "You've got battle scars."

"Of course."

"Have you told me that story?"

Levi shook his head. "That was from my first year as a captain. We were conducted a surveillance mission outside of Wall Maria, the kind with an expected number of casualties. When we reached the research point, there was a report of a titan attack in the southeast sector, and my squad was dispatched to deal with it. Turns out we had a stowaway, a common criminal, who happened to be in one of the wagons, intending to steal rations when the wagon reached the wall."

"Except he didn't know this particular wagon intended to go beyond the wall."

"He caught me by surprise, with a knife. He'd alerted a titan nearby, and was promptly eaten. But no one from my squad was lost."

"Yeah?"

"Petra and Oluo were on that mission, too." He put his hand over hers, pressed over the scar. "Not on my squad. They were added later, facing promotion."

"They turned down being captains?"

"They figured it was better to ensure safety and efficiency than move up a deadbeat ladder."

"And you? Are you going to take over as commander when Erwin retires?"

"He'd rather die than settle down," Levi laughed. "It's a nice thought. Grandpa Erwin, sitting in a rocking chair, harping on how much more vicious the titans were back in his day." His left hand ran over her back, and he found a scar, small, but deep. "Was that from the titan attack?"

"No." She pointed to a divet in her right leg, just below her hip. "I didn't even notice it at the time, until that evening, really, but I got a gash in my leg when I fell off Dia. No, that one's from the wild horse incident. Before I knew you."

"Oh?"

"Larmie found a brown stallion wandering around, a little while before Maria fell, belonging to no one, seemingly. We don't have any horse breeders around, so it was awfully odd. Anyhow, we took turns, him and Hajule and I, bringing it hay and water in the second stable, further from the main house. Jamie was too little at the time, and it was unpredictable. I was out feeding him one day when he got spooked and kicked, got me right in the ribs."

Levi grimaced. "But you're alright?"

"Yeah, I was young back then, healed up easy."

"You're still young. We both are."

She patted his cheek. "Keep telling yourself that. But I landed with my back in a splintered, unkempt pole, with a nail stuck out the side. It dug into my skin good before I got my footing."

"Farm work is dangerous."

"Well, it's animals. They're unpredictable."

"Horses are supposed to be tamed, though."

"Nothing's truly tamed. You learn that in the first week, or whenever a docile goat charges you in the leg for no reason."

He traced a pink line around her knee. "Is that what this is?"

"You're really up for that detective demotion."

"Mm hmm." Levi ran his fingers through her hair, then bent and kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Anything you want to do today?"

Edie shrugged. "Be with you?"

"That can be arranged." He leaned down and kissed her again.