Chapter 4 – When life leaves you behind.

Making good pace, Hu Tao arrived back to the Harbour early the next day. She made short work of, slipping back in through her window just as she had done countless times previously.

She threw her bag on her bed and for a moment paused before leaving her room. She pressed her head up against her bedroom door dreading what came next.

This was it. She was really about to go tell grandpa she was giving up, and that he was right. She sighed, and wanting to get this over with, she wasted no more time, heading downstairs to find her grandpa.

She quickly found an undertaker in the dining room.

"Hey, where's grandpa at, I… I need to talk."

"Uh! Miss Hu! Y-You're back… Uh, uhh… Um…"

"Well? Where is he? Have you lost the poor man?" She snapped annoyed at him.

"I-I'm really sorry Miss, Director Hu passed away last night." The undertaker responded softly.

His words struck her like a knife.

"What?" Hu Tao replied clearly in shock.

"I-I'm so sorry…"

"Why would you say that?! This isn't a joke!" She yelled, not believing it was possible.

"I'm so sorry Miss Hu… It's not a joke."

"No, that's not possible, he was just fine when I left!"

"I'm very sorry Miss Hu, he got so much worse so quickly, there was nothing we could do…"

"No!" she responded.

"No, no, this isn't possible, t-this isn't possible…!" She thought as she ran away.

Hu Tao ran off upstairs, with tears quickly filling her eyes. Without thinking, she grabbed her travel bag off her bed and went straight back out her window.

She was in shock, and the only thought going through her mind was; "I have to find him, I have to see him again!"

She nearly ran all the way back to Wuwang Hill only stopping to prevent herself from collapsing from exhaustion.

By the time she got there she was completely exhausted, and only still moving thanks to the adrenaline pumping through her body. She rushed straight through to the other side and went to all the usual spots but found nothing.

She desperately struggled against her fatigue and pushed on looking everywhere she could until her body finally started caught up to her and she collapsed from exhaustion. Even as she slept the only thought in her head was the desire to find her grandpa.

Hu Tao awoke sometime later to someone tapping on her shoulder.

"H-huh? Mmm… Grandpa? … uh… Hello?" Hu Tao replied sleepily.

"Are you alright there little one?" Asked a mysterious soft voice.

"h-huh? no…" She whispered as she sat up and stretched.

"I must say I've never seen someone choose to sleep here."

"N-no, I'm not sleeping… Not supposed to be sleeping…"

"No? So why are you here?" The mysterious person continued.

"I'm looking for someone…" Hu Tao responded.

"I see, so who are you looking for? Very few travellers pass through here."

"No, I'm not looking for a traveller."

"Oh?" The mysterious figure inquired.

"I'm looking for my grandpa... He… he died a few days ago."

"Hmm, and you think you'll see him here?"

"Y-yeah…? Sorry, I'm really tired… T-This is Wuwang hill, where spirits come to cross over?" Hu Tao pointed out, confused at who she was talking to.

"Of course. And very rare you are, one who can enter the border. You must be Little Tao." The mysterious figure said as she greeted the little girl.

Hu Tao looked up at the woman confused.

"Y-Yeah, you know me?" Hu Tao paused for a few moments. "I'm sorry, I-I'm really tired… Who are you? You're not like the other lost spirits…"

"Hehe, I should hope not." The mysterious woman's red eyes pierced into Hu Tao.

"H-Huh? You… Wait, you're the woman! The one whose been watching me! Why are you following me?"

The woman took a few steps over to a rock and sat down.

"Come, sit. Talk."

Hu Tao frantically rushes over to join her.

"I-I'm looking for my grandpa, uh, Director Hu. Have you seen him?" she questioned.

The old woman chuckled. "Hehe… Why would Old Hu be here of all places?"

Hu Tao gestured with her hands as if she was confused by the very idea that he wouldn't be here but before she could say anything the old woman continued.

"I promise you that these woods are the last place you would find Old Hu after he passed."

"No, that's not possible. He must be waiting here for me. He knows I would come! I need to find him!"

"Hehe, that old man spent more time here than anyone. I can assure you that this is the last place he would come."

Unable to accept the old woman's words she yelled back. "No! Why are you lying?"

"I'm not lying little one." The woman replied sincerely.

"Yes, you are!"

Hu Tao stood up and ran off away from the old woman. She wasted no time in continuing searching until she promptly passed out again.

Over the next few days Hu Tao kept looking and looking, waiting and waiting to no avail. She would always see the old woman watching her from a distance but kept ignoring her. She knew he had to be somewhere here. She just needed to wait a little longer.

After a few days Hu Tao found herself again sitting alone staring up at the night sky. Starving and barely alive she truly couldn't help herself anymore. She was committed to staying here until she found him, or died trying.

"Care for some company?" A voice spoke up from behind her.

Whatever… You're only gonna be spying on me anyways. Hu Tao responded defeated.

"Hehe. Then how about a meal?"

Hu Tao looked up surprised. She sat up and saw the old woman standing with a pot of stew. It smelt amazing.

"Hehe, help yourself little one."

Hu Tao immediately dug into the stew shoving massive bite after massive bite into her mouth.

Only after a few minutes of chomping away did she start to think about what was going on.

"W-Wh, how did you get this? Aren't you a spirit? H-How did you make this?" she asked.

"Shhh, eat first, before it gets cold." The old woman smiled down at her.

Even though she desperately wanted to know more, starving, she couldn't help herself and continued eating until she had devoured the whole pot.

"Will you tell me who you are now?" Hu Tao asked.

"Hehe, who I am isn't important. What's important is who you are little one."

"I don't understand." Hu Tao responded.

"Why are you still here little one?" The old woman asked.

"I need to see my grandpa again."

"And you think you'll find him here?"

"Y-Yeah! He has to be waiting somewhere here for me! I just need to find him!" she responded confidently.

"So, you mean you wish for him to have passed with an unfulfilled desire?" the old woman asked.

"No, it's not like that, it's just… Why wouldn't he want to see me…? I-I just have to wait a little longer. He will be here. I know it!"

"Hehe, so stubborn… You're just like Old Hu you know."

"What? No way, grandpa is always so patient and smart!"

"Hehe, I think you'd be surprised by just how similar you are. When he was younger, I'd often see him here for days on end."

"What? No way, grandpa comes here like once a year."

"Hehe. Would you believe me if I told you there was a time where your grandpa would come here every week."

"No? Why would he do that?" Hu Tao asked shocked.

"Hmm, I'm not sure, why are you here little one?" the old woman asked.

"I'm looking for my grandpa?" Hu Tao responded confused.

The old woman said nothing, causing Hu Tao to take a moment to think.

"Wait, so you're saying my grandpa used to come here looking for someone as well?"

The old woman did not respond, only smiled back at the little girl.

Hu Tao laid back on the grass and looked up at the sky, deep in thought. It was then that she again started to doubt herself.

"No, no… My grandpa was always the wise one, he wouldn't act this stupid… Aiya what am I doing… Why would grandpa want to see a failure like me… I couldn't even find my parents…"

Hu Tao took a moment before continuing.

"He told me that before he died you know… That I wouldn't find my parents here. I never listened though, I… I just really thought I'd find them here."

Lost, she turned and sat up to face the old woman and asked;

"I don't understand… Why don't they want to see me?"

The old woman looked back at her with a gentle expression. "Of course they want to see you little one, but is this the place people come to meet with their loved ones?"

Hu Tao looked at her, confused.

She responded, "No, but-"

The old woman interrupted her. "Or, is it the place those who long for the world of the living linger in despair?"

Hu Tao knew she was right, but, but she just couldn't accept it.

Suddenly she blurted out "But I didn't get to say goodbye…"

"Hmm, it doesn't sound like your grandpa's regret you're stuck on, but your own." The old woman pointed out.

Hu Tao sighed and laid back against the grass. She knew the old woman was right. She knew her grandpa too well to truly believe he would die with any regrets. Still, how could she go? After a few moments she sat back up before continuing;

"I-I don't think I can leave. W-What if I leave and he shows up? I don't think I can go knowing I might miss him…

"Hehe, I see… So, you really are stuck. Tell you what little one. Old Hu always was a plain speaker, so let me return you the favour."

"Where did Old Hu want you to spend your days, here, in this sad place, sulking around with the dead, or back in the Harbour, surrounded by the living?"

"Back in the Harbour…" She reluctantly answered.

"So why would he wait for you here?" the old woman asked.

Hu Tao met her gaze for a while before she again laid back on the grass and gazed up at the stars, processing the old woman's words. A few minutes passed as Hu Tao laid there deep in thought.

Really, who are yo- Hu Tao asked as she sat back up, but this time, found no one around her.

She started looking all over until she finally caught sight of the old woman in the distance walking over the hill as the light of the morning sun slowly crept up over the horizon.

"Wait! - "She blurted out.

She felt like chasing after the woman, but something inside stopped her. Somehow, someway she knew that this was about her now, not anyone else. Instead, she sat back with her legs crossed and watched as the mysterious figure grew smaller and smaller on the horizon.

As the woman disappeared, Hu Tao watched as the sun began to rise behind her silhouette. As the figure faded Hu Tao too felt her doubt fade and just like the sun, be replaced by a warm bright light.

She felt its warmth piecing all the way through her body. The aching doubt and regret in her heart slowly sept away as the warmth filled her up, leaving nothing behind.

She hadn't felt inner peace like this in her whole life.

As Hu Tao sat there watching the sun rise, she slowly let all the doubt burn away. Now, in it's place she noticed instead of the gaping hole that once occupied her heart, there was now a warm fire, burning fiercely and unwaveringly.

She sat there on that hillside until the sun had made its way high into the sky, bathing in the warmth until she fell soundly asleep.