10 March 1980
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Columbia St Mary's Hospital
Sacred Heart Rehabilitation Institute
.
Jackie wished she could say she had some interesting experiences during her two-week stint at Sacred Heart, but that would've been a bald-faced lie. Aside from meeting fellow brain-injured patients like herself, the majority of her time was spent reading, listening to music and staring at the walls. Oh, and she supposed she had also been rehabilitating her body and mind, but not in a fun way with the euphoric mellow of Demerol.
That had been fun. She missed that.
Instead, Jackie was suffering through pain medication detox, physiotherapy and daily sessions with Dr. Keeton, the resident psychiatrist. The former two conditions hadn't been half as bad as she thought they would've been; however, the latter was the worst sort of torture to endure. There was nothing quite like having a shrink ask you what you thought about yourself and your life choices when you couldn't even remember who you were. Unfortunately, she'd have to suffer through it in the next hour or so.
Until then, she would read.
Carefully lying on her stomach in bed, Jackie turned the page of her book when a shadow fell across the open doorway.
"Hey, Ruby!" said a tall brunette on crutches, poking her head inside the room.
"Hey, Chloe."
Jackie shifted uncomfortably and a stabbing pain shot up her ribs. Even with the cushioned bindings, her entire upper torso felt like a piñata someone had taken a bat to. She really shouldn't have been lying on her stomach to begin with. However, the constant sitting and resting on her back for three weeks had driven her somewhat stir-crazy, along with the tedium of therapy. This mind-numbing boredom was one of the reasons she read so much.
The tall girl named Chloe eventually hobbled her way into Jackie's room, taking a seat on the edge of her bed with a grunt. She set her crutches against the wall and leaned forwards, her dark grey eyes peeking through a curtain of straight honey-brown hair as she thoughtfully studied Jackie and her book.
Chloe Stevenson was a rather cheery girl despite her condition. She had been at Sacred Heart for a little over a month before Jackie had arrived and, much like Jackie, she was also a brain injury patient. Unlike Jackie, however, the twenty-two-year-old Chloe was an out-bound patient who had suffered far more extensive injuries than Jackie, including a broken tibia.
"Whatchya reading?" asked Chloe, peering over Jackie's shoulder. "The Edible Woman?" She made a face. "Sounds gross."
Jackie merely shrugged in response and turned the page. Chloe was an okay girl in small doses, but Jackie preferred her books over asinine questions—the kind that were often posed and repeated almost every single day.
Of course, it wasn't entirely Chloe's fault. She was suffering from a malfunctioning short-term memory known as anterograde amnesia, which meant she had difficulties retaining new memories while her long-term memory remained relatively intact. Unlike Jackie, Chloe hadn't incurred her amnesia through a traumatic event but rather through the abuse of psychotropic drugs such as LSD and acid. Her current injuries were an indirect result of her amnesia: she'd had a seizure while driving and steered her vehicle into a highway divider.
Okay, so it was a little her fault.
"Where did you get all these books?" asked Chloe.
It hadn't been the first time Chloe had asked that question and it certainly wouldn't be the last. The books were a gift from Jackie's 'friend' Donna, who had brought them on one of her visits. However, explaining to Chloe who Donna was all over again, as well as Jackie's condition, wasn't something she felt like rehashing with the brunette at the moment, so she lied.
"Dr Keeton."
"Oh, right." Chloe nodded, absently examining her nails. "He's tried to give me a few books too. Like I'll be able to retain anything." She snorted. "Do you have an appointment with him today?"
"Mhm." Jackie had an appointment with him every day.
"He's so weird," mused Chloe aloud. "All those pointless questions he asks."
Jackie nodded. She couldn't have agreed more. Dr. Keeton's questions were indeed pointless and asinine. She couldn't answer most of them, which only frustrated her to no end. She never knew how helpless she could feel when she didn't have any answers.
"So, where are you gonna go when you're released?"
Jackie paused, slipping her finger between the pages as a bookmark. She didn't quite know how to answer that question. Donna had told her that her father was in jail and her mother was off somewhere in Mexico or Cuba—they didn't know where—and Jackie had no real family to speak of. Her grandmother had left her some money, which paid for her medical bills and some left over for her to live comfortably wherever she wanted. The problem was that she didn't know where she wanted to go or what she wanted to do—only that she wanted to leave this hospital, like yesterday.
"Right, you're rich!" Chloe smacked her forehead. "I guess it doesn't matter where you go. On the other hand, my parents want to send me to Rancho Los Amigos, but I'm gonna see if I can convince them to let me go to a holistic retreat."
"Rancho Los Amigos?"
"Yeah, it's this hospital in California." She furrowed her brow in deep thought. "Uh, for brain injuries and stuff."
"Hmm."
A pained expression crossed Chloe's features as she tried to recall the purpose of the hospital and how it linked to neurological disorders, but it wasn't coming any time soon. Jackie was impressed that the girl even knew how to pronounce Rancho Los Amigos or what holistic meant, but those must have been names and information she had retained before her psychedelic trip. Oddly enough, she remembered Chloe telling her she had once qualified as a chemist.
How was that for irony?
Just to be able to form coherent sentences often took a lot of effort on Chloe's part. And, as much as she annoyed Jackie with her incessant questions and forgetfulness, Jackie couldn't help but identify with the girl, even if just a little. While Jackie had her short-term memory intact, her long-term memory was gone. She knew that feeling of frustration—of trying to recall something lost, something that wouldn't come back no matter how hard she tried.
"Yeah, but it's all boring medical stuff like this place, y'know?" Chloe motioned to their surroundings with a shrug. "I'd like to try out the New Age approach. Some yoga, some meditation, some herbal therapy—if you know what I mean." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "There's this retreat in Oregon. I can't remember the name of it, but I have a brochure in my room. It's got hot springs!"
Chloe sounded excited, but Jackie merely lifted a brow in contemplation. Maybe a retreat wouldn't be so bad. She could use some alternative therapy. The sessions with Dr Keeton weren't at all successful in retrieving her memories. Plus, Oregon was a far more reasonable driving distance than California, which was a comforting thought considering she had recently discovered that she had a fear of flying. This discovery had come about during a session with Dr Keeton (so maybe something good had come out of his therapy).
No overseas living for Ruby Tuesday (née Jackie Burkhart), unless she was taking a boat. But she wasn't sure how well she'd fare on the sea even then.
"So, where are you going?" Chloe asked again, and Jackie shrugged.
"Probably back to Point Place for a bit and then figure it out from there."
"Cool, cool." Chloe shakily stood up, reaching for her crutches. "Well, I'm gonna go grab something to eat and head on to physio. I'll leave you to your reading. Bye-bye."
"Bye."
⋆ 𖤓 ⋆
Jackie finished reading The Edible Woman just before two o'clock. Shortly after, a beep went off on her nightstand. She sat up and turned off the alarm with a grunt.
Dr Keeton had insisted that Jackie set her alarm for every doctor's appointment as a reminder. She found the idea tedious and somewhat patronising. Jackie didn't have short-term memory loss like the others, so it wasn't like she had to be reminded. But then Dr Keeton knew she didn't like going to her sessions. The alarm was probably more of a conditioning experiment than a reminder.
Slowly sloughing off the bed, Jackie grabbed a grey cardigan and pulled it on with a grumble. She set her book flat on her nightstand, hoping the page would keep. She'd have to invest in a bookmark at some point rather than ruining the spine or dog-earring the pages.
Cinching the cardigan's belt securely about her waist, Jackie stepped outside her room and closed the door behind her, just in case Chloe decided to be nosy and snoop in her room.
"Hi, Mrs Gruben."
She greeted her next-door neighbour with a slight wave, and the elderly woman smiled. Mrs Gruben was a stout woman with short but carefully dressed white hair. She reminded Jackie of Beatrice Arthur from Maude. It was funny how she could remember characters from television shows but not people from her own life.
"Hello." The elderly woman was looking up at her with kind yet confused, rheumatic blue eyes. "Do I know you, dear?"
"I'm Ruby, you're next-door neighbour."
"Oh." The woman's eyes failed to light up with recognition, but she feigned it out of politeness for Jackie's sake. "It's nice to meet you, Ruby. I'm Gladys Gruben." She extended a wrinkled hand and Jackie took it with a gentle shake.
"Nice to meet you, Mrs Gruben."
"Please, call me Gladys."
Jackie's feigned smile widened almost painfully and she let go of the old woman's hand, motioning to the corridor. "Well, I've gotta go meet with the doctor now."
"Which doctor?"
"Dr Keeton."
Mrs Gruben nodded, though she didn't seem to understand. Still, politeness was mandatory—a habit the older woman had not forgot. "You take care, dear."
"I will." Jackie's smile waned. "You have a good day, Mrs Gruben."
The two parted ways, and Jackie strolled towards Dr Keeton's office. This wasn't the first introductory conversation she'd had with Mrs Gruben and it wouldn't be the last. They'd have the exact conversation when Jackie returned to her room. Such were the joys of rehabilitating at the Brain Injury ward at Sacred Heart.
Still, Jackie couldn't help but feel sorry for the elderly woman, like how she felt bad for Chloe. As annoying as Jackie's condition was—how frustrating and lonely it could be—she wasn't sure how she could handle not being able to retain her recent memories or going through life forgetting everything and everyone.
She continued down the hall with her hands dug deep in her jeans pockets. Her expression was blank, giving no real clue about what she was thinking. In truth, she wasn't thinking about anything. She catalogued each passer-by with a casual glance, but that was when her mind began reeling and whirling.
No one really seemed to look at Jackie to see her. This was a somewhat comforting thought since it meant she could fly under the radar. But she soon found herself scrutinising those strangers, trying to peek underneath the masks they wore. Everyone wore masks, she realised. Everyone tried to hide their feeling and who they truly were, everyone except Jackie. She wore no mask, for she had nothing to hide.
Lost in thought, Jackie was only vaguely aware that she had arrived at Dr Keeton's office. She stared at the door and suddenly it opened. An elderly gentleman advanced a few steps towards her with a briefcase in hand. He smiled genially at her and stepped aside, allowing Jackie to look inside the office.
Dr Keeton, a rather handsome man in his early forties with sandy blond hair and a tiny Errol Flynn moustache, smiled and waved at her to enter.
"C'mon in, Jackie."
"Ruby," she corrected coldly before stepping inside.
Dr Keeton just smiled at her, patiently and politely.
Here we go again, Jackie thought with a grimace as she closed the door behind her.
⋆ 𖤓 ⋆
"Flames were golfing, man!" Kelso's hands waved spasmodically in the air. "Golfing everywhere!"
Hyde's shoulders shook with repressed laughter as Kelso recounted the colourful tale of his latest workplace volition: burning down the dance floor at the nudie bar he ran security for.
"It's good to have you back, man."
"It's great to be back!" Kelso grinned and then pumped a fist triumphantly in the air. "Alright! Four-day weekend!"
"It is no four-day weekend for me, you sonuvabitch!" Fez pouted, clutching a brown paper bag in his hands. "So no keeping me up tonight or I will smother you in your sleep!"
"I can always stay with Donna." Kelso waggled his eyebrows and jumped down onto the seat next to her. "How about it, Big D? Can I stay at your place?"
"Place? It's the tiniest bachelor apartment known to man." She folded her arms beneath her breasts. "And no, you're not staying, Kelso."
"Dammit!"
"You can stay with me, my friend," said Fez, reaching over to pat Kelso's knee. "I am just grumpy because I am so alone and lonely and only have candy to fulfil my needs." He exhaled a long-suffering sigh. "Candy is a poor but yummy substitute for affection."
Everyone sat back, looking a mite uncomfortable with their foreign friend and his needs, especially when he was lovingly cradling that mysterious brown paper bag.
"So, how's the roommate fishing going?" asked Forman, hoping to steer the conversation elsewhere, maybe somewhere less creepy.
"Eh, a few nibbles." Fez shrugged dispassionately. "But I sort of feel bad renting out Jackie's room. Where will she stay?"
"Jackie's rich now," said Kelso excitedly, pulling a lollipop from out of his pocket and unwrapping the cover. "She can live wherever she wants, man, like in a castle or something."
"Kelso—" Donna sucked in a deep breath "—there are no castles in Point Place or the United States for that matter—not real ones, anyway."
"Yeah, well," he floundered, discarding the plastic wrap. "My point is that Jackie can live wherever she wants now, fictional or otherwise."
"Like Candy Land?"
"Fez, we've talked about this," interrupted Donna. "Candy Land isn't real."
"But Kelso just said—"
"Fez, we've talked about this too," interjected Forman. "No countering an argument by using Kelso's word as proof."
Fez bowed his head in defeat. "I am just sad that Jackie will probably want to live somewhere else—not with me."
Hyde shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Fez was getting soppy again and Hyde could only handle so many emotions coming from the foreigner at once. Just a few minutes ago, they had all been having some fun with Kelso back for the weekend and now the conversation had veered towards Jackie. Why did it always come back to her?
"Hey, so how's school going, Big D?" he asked Donna, hoping to change the topic.
"Yes, having fun matriculating with your fellow feminists?" Forman waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and she playfully frogged him in the arm.
Donna was attending the Parkside campus of the University of Wisconsin. She had planned to transfer to Madison with Forman for the Spring-Summer term once his scholarship was cleared. However, she had to admit that Parkside was still a lot of fun. It was nice to live in the city and experience campus life. Plus, she and Forman had their own room for whenever he came to visit.
"Courses are going well," she said, knowing full-well that this was Hyde's way of steering the conversation away from Jackie. The dillhole still hadn't gone to visit her in the hospital, let alone the rehabilitation centre, and she wasn't about to forget or forgive him for that. "Though I can't wait until Eric gets his scholarship so we can transfer to Madison together."
"Yes, the scholarship," said Forman, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.
Although he had left Africa earlier than intended, the program still offered him a partial scholarship. He had yet to hear from Mr Green, the director of the Teach Abroad program, though. Forman had been playing phone hockey with the Dean of Admission and Financial Aid since early January.
"You're gonna have to introduce me to your hot college friends," Kelso said to Donna.
"Yeah, that's not gonna happen."
"What, are you embarrassed by me?"
"In the worst possible way."
"Now I know you're lying." Kelso waved his lollipop at her. "I'll have you know all the ladies love me."
"So, is that why Jackie keeps asking me to tell you not to visit her anymore?"
Hyde couldn't help but grin at this. At least Amnesia Jackie had some sense. He had heard about Kelso dogging Jackie on her looks after the accident, and he was glad to hear she hadn't put up with his bullshit. Hyde almost wished he had been there to see it.
Almost.
"Yeah, Jackie's so not hot anymore," whined Kelso, stretching his long legs out underneath the table.
"Kelso!" Donna looked ready to smack their dumb-witted friend upside his head. "She was in a car accident!"
"No, that's not it." He shifted away from Donna. "She's still physically hot. It's just—Jackie's not Jackie anymore. She doesn't yell or order me around anymore. Whenever I'm there all she does is read or listen to music or tell me to go away."
"It is strange not to hear Jackie's shrill voice," Fez agreed lamentably. "My bitchy goddess is gone."
"Exactly," said Kelso. "Her bitchy hotness is gone."
Hyde crossed his arms over his chest, drumming his fingers on his left bicep. He had no idea exactly why or what he was annoyed about, but this constant talk of Jackie had to stop. She wasn't even here and she had invaded the circle.
"Well, you'll be able to see her this weekend," said Forman, looping an arm around Donna.
What?
"What?" asked Donna, vocalising Hyde's thoughts.
Jackie was going to be here, in Point Place? This was getting too real too fast.
"She's being released from the hospital," said Forman. "Red's picking her up on Saturday."
"To bring her here?"
"No, he's taking her to the Wichita cotillion," he deadpanned. "Red himself is presiding as host."
Donna frogged her boyfriend in the arm. "Smartass."
"So she's staying here at your parents' place?" asked Kelso, sparing Fez a glance.
The foreign boy's face was conflicted with emotion: happy that Jackie would be home but sad that she wouldn't be staying with him.
"Far as I know." Forman shrugged.
"Crap." Donna folded her arms beneath her breasts with a pout. "I really wish I could be here, but I have that stupid thing."
"Yes." Forman nodded. "We all have those stupid things."
"Shut up." She frogged Forman in the arm again, and he winced at the pain as he rubbed his soon-to-be bruised bicep.
"Is it another Take Back The Night rally?"
"No, that's the next week." She flashed her boyfriend a wicked grin. "I have a group project due next Wednesday and we can only get together this weekend."
"Ah, the woes of academia."
Donna shook her head with a grin before a serious expression settled on her features. "It's gonna be a bit bizarre having her back here, isn't it? I mean, with her not remembering anything."
Everyone except Hyde nodded.
"I wonder how long she'll stay here," said Donna. "She still has a lot recovering to do, and therapy."
"Donna, relax," said Forman. "Jackie's the devil. She'll recover with the help of Satan."
A fist flew out, frogging Forman in the arm a little harder than he was used to, and he glared contemptuously at the culprit.
"Oww! Hyde? What was that for?"
"Just remindin' ya that you're working with me this weekend." He grinned at his best friend before settling back in his seat. "So no taking off to Donna's."
"Oh boy!" Forman cried with feigned enthusiasm. "Employment by The Man!"
Hyde scowled.
"You know," began Donna almost wistfully, "I think school would be good for Jackie." When the guys stared at the blonde like she had grown a second head, she suddenly sat up and brought her fingers to her mouth. "Oh my God, what if we end up at the same university!"
Forman's brow creased in confusion. "And you're excited about this?"
"Donna, you do recall that Jackie said college was for ugly girls," said Fez, but the blonde just waved a dismissive hand.
"Yeah, but that was the old Jackie. The new Jackie—" She stopped herself short. For some reason, referring to Jackie as old or new felt wrong. In fact, Donna felt rather sheepish for labelling Jackie at all.
"Well, I am off to get ready for work," Fez announced suddenly. He stood up, clutching the paper bag to his chest. "I must check if anyone has replied to my 'Roommate Wanted' ad in the paper."
"Search not going so well, huh?" asked Kelso.
"No, no bitchy goddesses have applied," said Fez with a dejected sigh. "Just bitches and sons-of-bitches."
Kelso nodded sympathetically and stuck his lollipop in the side of his cheek. "You know I'd move back in with you if I could, little buddy."
"Hey, considering his luck with fire and employment, he might be your roommate again soon," said Forman, and Kelso nodded in agreement.
"He's right."
"Thanks," mumbled Fez, heaving another heavy sigh. "I bid a good day to you all."
"But, Fez—"
His free hand flew up. "I said 'good day'!"
Fez half-slunk, half-stormed out of the basement, and Forman turned to the others with a shrug. "What's up with him lately?"
"Probably the roommate situation," said Donna. "It's stressing him out."
"Naw, he's just depressed cause Jackie refused to marry him."
Forman and Donna stared at Kelso agape with incredulity before slowly turning to look at Hyde. Their curly-haired friend had abruptly swivelled around on his chair to face the unsuspecting Kelso.
"Why the hell would he do that!" spat Hyde. "She was just in a serious accident and has amnesia, man, and he thinks this is the perfect time to propose?"
"What? No." Kelso snorted, unaware of Forman and Donna frantically pantomiming the kill gesture. "He proposed to her on Valentine's Day."
"Valentine's Day?"
"Kelso!"
"Dumbass!"
Hyde turned his attention to Donna and Forman, anger and betrayal lacing his tone, "You guys knew ?"
"Sorry, man." Forman shrugged helplessly. "We couldn't tell you. It was Fez's choice, not ours."
"Just like telling Kelso about me and Jackie was our choice?" Hyde folded his arms over his chest as he tried not to fly off into a rage.
"He didn't want you to know yet," said Donna hesitantly.
"Whatever, man."
Fuming, Hyde sat back in his seat and tapped his boot on the floor while trying to keep his external coolness in check. The others were quiet, silently watching, silently judging. He was brooding and he knew it, but he couldn't stop himself. Fez had proposed to Jackie. Jackie was coming back this weekend. He was going to see her again. There was no more avoiding her. For the first time in months, not since Sam had arrived on the Formans' doorstep, Hyde could no longer pretend Jackie was a distant memory.
Clenching his jaw in anger, Hyde unfolded his arms and stood up. Screw this; screw them all! They could think what they wanted. He needed to get out of there and have a drink, fast.
He grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair and left the basement door without another word.
Once the echo of his footfalls died, Donna heaved a heavy sigh. "He's going to be an asshole to her again. I just know it."
"Donna, you worry too much," said Kelso, pulling the lollipop out of his mouth with a pop. "Everything's gonna be fine."
"How do you figure, Kelso?"
He regarded Donna with a rare serious expression. "Cause deep down Hyde loves Jackie."
"I dunno, Kelso." Donna shook her head. "You weren't here when he treated Jackie like shit, but I was." She suddenly stood up. "And I'm not gonna stand by and watch it happen again."
With that, Donna turned on her heel and bounded up the stairs to the kitchen—the second dramatic exeunt in two minutes and the third in five. Forman sighed as he watched his girlfriend storm off and then turned towards Kelso.
"Still not worried?"
"Nope. Cause I'm not a pessimist like the rest of you guys." He waved his lollipop at Forman. "I am an optometrist."
Forman smiled thinly, patting Kelso on the shoulder. "It's good to have you back, man."
⋆ 𖤓 ⋆
Dr Keeton waited patiently.
Jackie knew he wanted her to talk and open up; however, in all honesty, she didn't know what to say. What was there to talk about? She had no recollection of her past and no clear grasp of her personality, which included any flaws or anxieties she might have had. What could she say?
She couldn't complain about things she couldn't recall or consciously place blame on her parents or her social environment for her current state because, well, she couldn't remember any of it. Right now, all she wanted to do was cut the session short and make a quick exit, but there was no way the good doctor would allow that.
"I don't know what you want me to say," she said after a moment of uncomfortable silence.
"I want you to say whatever's on your mind."
Jackie sank into the plush chair with a groan. What she needed right now was to be sedated. Being high or asleep was the only way she figured anyone could tolerate such tedious, self-indulgent banality.
"How are your friends?" he asked.
Jackie wanted to say that she didn't have any friends, but she didn't want to open up the floodgate of questioning that such a topic would produce, so she just shrugged. "Alright, I guess."
"Do you enjoy seeing them?"
Jackie shrugged again. She couldn't say she hated seeing them, but she couldn't say she felt excited or comfortable either. The only presence she didn't mind so much was Eric's. Unlike the others, he never regarded her with guilt or pity, although he could be somewhat annoying.
Donna and Fez always looked shameful, whereas Kelso looked downright stupid. But as much as the pretty boy insulted her or liked to remind her of how many times they 'did it', she just couldn't stay mad at him. He was like a puppy that piddled on the carpet. Sure, you were angry at him for making such a mess, but you just couldn't stay mad at his cute face. However, Jackie quickly realised that she was more of a cat person—cats required less maintenance and they peed in a litter box.
"They visit you fairly often, don't they?" asked Dr Keeton, which warranted another shrug. "How do their visits make you feel?"
"Frustrated. Angry." She didn't want to tell him anything, but he'd pry until he got his answers if she didn't give him something. One way or another. This way she could give them to him on her own terms.
"And why is that?"
"Because I can't give them what they want."
"Which is?"
"Hope. Recognition..." She paused. "Jackie."
Dr Keeton tented his fingers with a smile. "Speaking of Jackie—" He leaned forwards and Jackie winced, knowing she had given him his in. "Why do you refuse to go by that name?"
She sighed. They discussed this almost every session and she always gave him the same answer: "Because Jackie is who I was before the accident."
"And now you're Ruby?"
She nodded.
"I know I've asked you before—why Ruby?—and I still want you to question why you call yourself that, but now I'm curious… Your friends who have visited you, you allow them to call you Jackie and yet they know nothing of Ruby. Why is that?"
"Cause Jackie's their past. Why ruin it for them?" Her expression was blank. "If they want to call me that name, then they can, but it means nothing to me."
"And you want your friends to mean nothing to you?"
"I don't know." She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "I'm just sick of seeing that look in their eyes."
"What look?"
"Like they're waiting for me to wake up." She shrugged. "They see me for who I was, not who I am. They have all these expectations but, like I said, I can't give them what they want."
"And you don't want to disappoint them?"
Jackie huffed. "What I want is for people to actually listen to me when I speak, to leave me alone when I ask them to." She could feel the anger swell inside her for the first time—real anger, not just frustration. "I want them to stop pushing me, to stop trying to fix me!" She gave the doctor a look that was not lost on him. "But no one is really listening or caring and maybe I don't care either."
After that, she went silent. The rest of the hour was spent talking about her feelings in the present—how she felt about her friend Chloe, what she liked to do in her spare time and how she was feeling in general. The time eked by.
Dr Keeton glanced down at his watch and smiled thinly. "Well, that's our last session." He barely finished his sentence before Jackie was on her feet and heading towards the door. "I'd like to refer you to another psychiatrist in Point Place."
She turned around. "Point Place?"
"Yes, the Formans will be taking you back to their home to stay until you decide what you want to do."
"With my life?" she supplied blankly.
"More or less." He stood up and walked over to his desk. "How do you feel about this—going with the Formans?"
"They seem nice." She remembered them well, especially the exuberant Mrs Forman, who always brought her something to eat and asked her how she was doing. She was very much the motherly sort—the type of mother figure Jackie obviously lacked in her life since her own mother hadn't even bothered to come to check on her yet. "They talked about this with me before and, well, I guess it makes sense for me to go back to Point Place for the time being."
"But?"
"But I don't know if it's where I want to be," she admitted, and the doctor nodded.
"It's understandable to be apprehensive. The Formans will provide you with a stable living environment while you decide what you want to do with your life. If I could offer you some advice, I'd tell you to take your time with your decision, weigh your options. But remember that you can leave any time you like. You're not forced to stay anywhere."
Jackie exhaled with a nod, feeling a little more relaxed. It was nice to know that she wouldn't be confined any longer. She could do what she wanted when she wanted. Although she didn't know what that was quite yet, knowing that she could pack up and leave whenever she wanted made her breathe a little easier. She felt free, no longer the caged bird she had been these past few weeks.
"And please see Dr Ridge." Dr Keeton handed her a business card. "I think you'd like her."
Jackie eyed the card sceptically but took it, affording the doctor a small smile of thanks.
"Good luck, Ruby," he said.
And, for the first time in ages, Jackie smiled.
"Thanks, Doc."
⋆ 𖤓 ⋆
"Since when did we become the Loud One's guardians?"
Kitty's eyes narrowed on her husband. "Red, we're the only responsible adults in Jackie's life right now. She's vulnerable. Besides, Jack said this was only temporary until Jackie could manage her finances. Would you rather her floozy of a mother be in charge? She'd clean out Jackie's account in less than a day."
Red made a non-committal reply in the form of a grunt, suggesting that he agreed with his wife's assessment. Pam Burkhart wasn't exactly known for putting her daughter's best interest at heart. If she could get away with it, she'd probably rob her daughter blind and leave her out in the cold.
Luckily for Jackie, no one could touch her trust fund but her. She had what was known as a dynasty trust. Since Jack was the appointed trustee, he could remove the age limit on the trust and release the money to his daughter earlier than intended. However, Jack was in prison and unable to execute the funds directly. Since Jackie couldn't arrange for them herself due to her current condition, that left Red and Kitty.
Jack had decided that instead of a money-grubbing lawyer, he would appoint Red and Kitty Forman as temporary executors of Jackie's trust fund. While Red wasn't keen on the idea, what with all the extra work it would involve, Jack assured him that it would only be until Jackie was cognitively capable of handling her own finances. In return, the Formans would be given a substantial compensatory fee.
Moreover, Kitty felt comfortable knowing that Jackie's finances would be secure with them instead of someone like Pam. And so, unwilling to argue with his wife, Red had agreed to the arrangement. Jackie didn't need people taking advantage of her in her current state, and he was willing to help her.
In addition to Jackie's financial affairs, there was the matter of her physical and psychological state due to the accident. The psychiatrist had informed them that Jackie's case was rare and there was a likelihood that Jackie herself could become somewhat unstable and unpredictable. Plus, they couldn't say for certain whether or not she'd get her memories back. The doctors still hadn't been able to say with certainty that her amnesia wasn't due to structural damage; however, with every passing day, it seemed far more likely that her condition was psychological.
Dr Keeton had warned them on their last visit that those with a dissociative fugue were prone to unplanned travel and often exhibited a closed-off personality; sometimes, they even established a new identity for themselves. The doctor suggested that with a strong familial foundation and regular therapy, Jackie would be less inclined to wander and would recover much faster. It seemed the only way to keep her put was if she had a constant presence in her life, like the Formans and her friends.
However, what really had Kitty insisting that Jackie stay with them was the young girl's potential heart condition. She had learnt from Jackie's physician that the Burkhart family had a history of heart disease. Dr Connors had referred Jackie to a specialist in Chicago, insisting that she meet with her doctor regularly at Point Place as well, and Kitty planned on having the young woman keep those appointments.
All they had to do now was convince Jackie to live with them and stay.
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Early Saturday morning, Jackie was packing. She threw a few articles of clothing into a small pink suitcase, grimacing at its colour. Donna had brought the luggage to her a few weeks ago, along with some clothing and assorted books. She had insisted that Jackie's favourite colour was pink, but Jackie was dubious. It was just so... pink.
Jackie moved back and forth from the open bureau to the bed where her pink suitcase lay, dragging her feet as she went. She made sure to pack the brochure Chloe had given her the other day and said her goodbyes to the older girl.
She had been hesitant at first—not about leaving this place. No, this place was dreadfully dull and Jackie needed to get out of here now. But she was still unsure if Point Place was the best place for her to go. At the hospital, everyone was equal in their trauma, at least in some way. Everyone was missing something; everyone wasn't quite right in the head. At 'home', she would be expected to fit in and adapt, to regain her memories so that everything could return to 'normal'.
She would have to adjust herself to fit their needs.
So what if Jackie didn't remember anything? What if her memories never came back? Right now, this was her normal.
Jackie suddenly felt dizzy and her stomach lurched. She closed her eyes and began rubbing her temples where a migraine was starting to form. She got a lot of those lately, headaches and migraines, usually followed by long bouts of insomnia. Dr Keeton had prescribed Percocet for the migraines (since he couldn't prescribe Zomig because of her not-yet-diagnosed heart condition) and sleeping pills for the insomnia. She wasn't allowed to take either until the pain medication was entirely out of her system, which would be by Sunday.
She couldn't wait.
When she finally opened her eyes, bursts of stars crossed her vision. She blinked them away. Then, a sudden flurry of knocks on her door, so fast and light that they almost seemed to collide, followed.
Whirling around, Jackie felt as if she was moving in slow motion or underwater. She'd have to take those pills soon or else she'd be fainting by the afternoon. Three more knocks followed, decidedly slower and definitely coming from the door.
Had she imagined the flurry of knocks before?
"Jackie?"
She blinked twice before stumbling her way across the room. When she opened the door, she was confronted by the familiar sight of a gruff-looking older man with balding red hair.
"Mr Forman?" She rested a hand over her heart and breathed a sigh of relief. "Sorry about that. Please, come in." She opened the door wide and went back to her suitcase. "I'm almost ready."
Red stepped inside but kept underneath the threshold. He took in a shallow breath and glanced around the room. It was small, white and sparsely furnished, but the window had a lovely lake view. Still, it seemed lonely.
"Need a hand?"
She shook her head and closed the suitcase with a double snap. "Nope. Not much to pack except these books to return to Donna." She held up the pink case to indicate that she was quite capable of carrying such a measly weight on her own.
"Listen, Jackie, there's something I want to tell you."
When she glanced up expectantly, Red cleared his throat. He stepped inside the room and warily closed the door, careful so that it was only slightly ajar. He didn't want anyone to overhear him and he knew how nosy people could be in hospitals, especially nurses.
"As you know, Kitty wants you to live with us until you sort things out. But just know that you don't have to." He quickly raised a hand. "Now, I'm not saying that you're not welcome, because you are. I just don't want you to feel pressured."
"I don't."
Red grunted, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Well, okay then."
Short, simple and to the point. He liked that.
He looked the girl over for a moment. She seemed different somehow. She looked the same and sounded the same but was, undeniably, someone else. He didn't quite know how to talk to her, not that he ever did. He was glad she wasn't blubbering, crying or bouncing off the walls. Her blank expression worried him somewhat, although he'd never voice his mild concerns aloud.
"Another thing." He dug a hand out of his pocket and pointed a gnarled finger at her. "We might be the executors of your trust or whatever, but whenever you're ready to meet with a lawyer to turn everything over to you—" he dropped his hand and shrugged uncomfortably "—you just say the word."
A genuine smile angled across Jackie's lips then and she nodded. "Thank you, Mr Forman. I appreciate that. Not just the trust fund but, y'know, not making me feel pressured and all."
Red nodded curtly before picking up her suitcase. "Well, let's get your things in the car."
Jackie was about to protest, but Mr Forman was already outside the room. Once outside her door, Jackie turned and took one last look at her room before waving to her neighbour.
"Bye, Mrs Gruben."
The elderly woman gave Jackie a confused smile but waved back.
Jackie took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders, and followed Mr Forman out of the hospital. She was finally going home.
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