Rei blinked, staring down at the broken pair of glasses she held in her hand. She had been standing still for twenty two minutes now, struggling to reach the inner calm she had once been so familiar with.

Before, she never doubted. Never questioned. She understood her place in the world, what she was meant for and what she would do. She was satisfied, content…and then Ikari came into her life.

Shinji, that is. Not the Commander. If it had only been the Commander, she suspected nothing would have ever changed. She was indebted to him, she owed her life to him twice over. She trusted him implicitly, and would do everything in her power to repay him. Because he cared. He was the only one in her life who had ever shown that they cared, just for her own sake. Not because she could pilot.

Then Ikari…then Shinji came, and all of that changed.

How alike his father he is, She thought, though she knew he would hate the comparison if she told him. It was no less true. Both were quiet, reserved men, and both of them struggled to reach out and form connections. And both of them had harmed themselves for her sake, to make sure she was okay without a second thought.

Her eyes shut, and she clutched the glasses close to her chest. Or so I had believed. Now…now she was not so sure. And she didn't like that she wasn't sure.

All of her life, she had taken comfort in certainties. She knew exactly what she was, and what was needed of her. The Commander never lied to her like he did the others, never.

Or so I had believed.

She forced the uncomfortable thought out of her mind. No. He is just…mistaken. He must be. Even men like the Commander get overwhelmed. He wouldn't…he wouldn't have lied to her knowingly. He wouldn't have. He cared.

Even as she tried to reassure herself, her own eyes betrayed her. They flickered around the damp, run down apartment that had been designated as her living quarters. Never before had it bothered her. She never understood there was something to be bothered by. It was sufficient enough to provide shelter and housing, and its isolation made it easy to keep track of her location at all times and ensure her safety. It made a logical sort of sense.

But then Shinji came, and that too he had to change. He was the first person outside of Section 2 security to come to her home, and he had been distraught at the way she lived. She had never given it thought before, but Shinji had raised questions she wouldn't have ever thought to ask in the first place.

Why was she stuck in such a ramshackle apartment? Yes, it was sufficient, but she was an Evangelion pilot. More than that, she was…necessary, for the Scenario. And the Commander was not a man who took unneeded risks. She was safe, yes…but surely there was somewhere more secure where she didn't need to sacrifice simple amenities?

It didn't bother her, of course, but it bothered Shinji, and that was enough to trouble her. She…disliked seeing him uncomfortable.

Though now, she found herself thinking she would give anything just to see him at all.

A month. A month since he had been absorbed by Unit 01, and NERV was no closer to a solution towards getting him back. Katsuragi was a mess. Pilot Soryu was nearing a breakdown, she could tell, and Shinji's friends' questions were becoming more and more frantic. And all the while she trusted the Commander. Believed him when he told her to simply wait. Shinji would return, in time.

But he hadn't, and even the Commander was beginning to worry now. Except every time she asked…he only told her to keep waiting. And every time she had believed him…but now her faith was beginning to waver.

It was clear Shinji wasn't going to come back. Not on his own. Someone needed to help him, she needed to help him, but the Commander forbade her.

"One pilot out of action is a dire enough situation," He had told her only hours ago, after finally mustering up the courage to ask. It had been harder than she thought. "Two is impossible."

"But you still need him," She said, in the closest thing to an argument she ever had with the Commander. "For the Scenario. You require Pilot Ikari, and you require Unit 01."

"I require Unit 01," Commander Ikari said coldly, steepling his fingers. "The Third was only ever a backup pilot. You were the intended catalyst from the beginning."

She felt her heart beginning to race, and she wasn't sure why. Was this fear? Nervousness? The Commander couldn't be saying what she thought he was saying. It…it sounded like…

The Commander must have noticed her hesitation. He sighed, laying his hands on the table. "We have not given up on retrieving Shinji," He reassured her. "But as it stands, neither Dr. Akagi nor the Magi have anything even resembling a workable plan of action. We have no way to retrieve him, not as things are."

The corner of her lips dipped ever so slightly in a rare frown. "Pilot Ikari was absorbed because his synchronization breached the ego barrier," She said. "If I were to enter Unit 01's entry plug, I could try and reach out, extend my own AT field and try to-"

"No," The Commander said sternly, pushing up his glasses. "Absolutely not. You cannot be revealed before the appointed time. Imagine if SEELE learned of your true nature…no. We cannot risk you, Rei. There is no guarantee it would even work." He paused, and when he spoke again his words were much warmer. "Shinji is important to you." It was not a question.

Almost sheepishly, she nodded. It was…odd, for her to admit. The only other person who had ever really mattered to her was the Commander, but now there were others. Shinji, of course. Katsuragi was kind to her, as were Shinji's friends, and even Pilot Soryu had mellowed a little, her insults gradually fading in frequency after Shinji's disappearance.

But Shinji was gone now, and with his absence the bonds that tied her to the others began to fade. They were Shinji's friends, after all, not hers. She knew they only saw her as the strange girl, the other Eva pilot. None of that mattered to her. And once, she wouldn't have seen the loss of their presence as a negative. Once, the only bonds she needed were with the Commander, and with the connection piloting Eva gave her to the world.

But now she craved more. Needed more. The less and less time she spent with Shinji's friends, and with Pilot Soryu, the more she felt a dull hole grow inside of her chest. She had tried to fill it, first with her duties, then with her studies, but none of it satisfied her.

She needed…company. Companionship. Friends.

And Shinji…Shinji was the only friend she had ever known. And now he was gone.

And the Commander was lying to her.

He nodded at her confirmation. "He had a profound effect on you," He observed. "And you on him. But you cannot allow your emotions to govern your reason. If you want Shinji back, you cannot expose yourself and bring the wrath of SEELE on all of us. You must be patient, as I have. With the completion of the Scenario, our Scenario, Unit 01 will ascend and become the trigger for Third Impact. Naturally, this will give you the opportunity to free Shinji. But you must be patient, Rei, or all we have worked to achieve will fall apart. Do you understand?"

She had nodded once more, and the Commander dismissed her, satisfied. But doubt had gnawed at her heart, and refused to leave her. Why? Why did they have to wait? What's more…a deeper doubt had festered inside of her.

She…she was no longer certain that the completion of the Commander's Scenario was what she wanted.

It was an impossible thought, treasonous. But even so…she couldn't help but consider it. After all, she had gone along her entire life…her lives following the Commander's orders. Because he was the most important person in her life. It was only logical, only natural that she endeavored to help him.

But now…now Shinj was the most important person to her. And she was not certain that Third Impact would be the best outcome for him. At least, not yet. She needed certainty, she needed absolute certainty, she needed…

A sound almost like a scoff emerged from her lips, one no one would ever believe came from her had they heard it themselves. Orders, She thought with a strange, ironic sort of humor. I need orders. Just like Pilot Soryu said. She was nothing but a doll, one that couldn't act against the Commander, not even for the boy who had saved her, who had made her smile, who had become the most important person in her life.

She heard a snap, and widened her eyes in surprise. She looked down, and with a dispassionate gaze noted that she had broken the Commander's glasses even further, snapping them in half and cutting her palm on the glass.

She held her hand up, observing with mild interest as a few drops of blood fell to the ground. Nothing new, She thought then. Just another stain. How many has this apartment seen? Shinji had helped her clean it once, but Shinji was gone, and once more her home had fallen into disrepair. A bit of blood was far from the worst her apartment had seen.

I do not want to wait, She realized. I do not want to initiate Third Impact. Not as things stand. I need…I need Shinji back, first. To be sure it is best for him. What he wants. And I…I…She swallowed nervously. Even in her thoughts it was difficult to form the words.

I do not trust the Commander anymore.

She felt something damp fall down her cheek. I am crying, She thought oddly. The last time she had cried, it was because she was happy. Shinji had helped her, told her to smile. But now…she did not think she was happy now.

She felt…

Betrayed.

Asuka glared at the ready made meal placed down in front of her, smoke still rising from the plastic container. "You call this food?" She huffed angrily, leaning her head against her hand, her arm placed down at the table.

Misato sighed. "It's a meal, Asuka. I don't know what more you want from me."

"Showing a little effort now and again would be a start," She mumbled.

"I'm busy," Misato defended herself. "Twelve hour shifts at NERV, scrambling to do everything I can to help Shinji." She took a seat across from Asuka, her shoulders slumping. "Not that I can do much," She muttered bitterly. "Rits is the one who knows how the Eva's actually work. I just handle the operations."

"Then what's your excuse?" Asuka shot back angrily. "Twelve hour shifts, and you just admitted you can't even help! But still you give all your time trying to bring back that moron, and I get to suffer for it."

Misato crossed her arms. "Don't be selfish," She chided. "You're still here, aren't you? Shinji is trapped inside of Unit 01, and we have no way of getting him back. Of course we're going to do everything we can to help him. I'm sorry I haven't had much time lately, and I can order some food if you want. But-"

"Don't bother," Asuka said, a wave of disgust rolling over her as she pushed the microwaved meal away from her and stood. "I'm not hungry anymore." She turned, walking back to her room.

"Asuka!" Misato called after her, but she just ignored her. What good was she anyway? Even when he was gone, she still gave all her time to Shinji. Perfect little Shinji, Invincible Shinji. Shinji, who couldn't even get half his sentences out without stuttering an apology. Shinji, who had gone and gotten himself trapped inside his own Evangelion.

Shinji, who had left her.

Hm, She thought petulantly as she slid her door shut. At least the idiot could cook. If he were still here, She'd be able to have a proper meal, even if their drunk of a guardian forgot to get them real food again.

At first, she had been glad for his absence. Welcomed the freedom it brought. Misato was forced to spend more time at the Geofront, and so she was given the run of the house. Free to do practically whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, allowed to act as mature as she really was. It was how it should have been from the start. She should never have been forced to live with Shinji in the first place.

But the days grew into weeks, and Shinji's stupid little habits, which she had at first delighted in not having to deal with, had long since begun to bother her. The most obvious was the loss of his bento boxes. He wasn't around to make her lunch anymore, forcing her to make rushed sandwiches every day for lunch, instead of the varied, well prepared meals he used to make.

As the weeks grew on, it worsened. What she initially thought was freedom began to weigh down on her, crushing her. It wasn't freedom, she realized, it was loneliness. Misato spent most of her time away, and whenever she was home she was usually either sleeping or drunk. Kaji hadn't stopped by once since Shinji's disappearance. And Shinji's absence…it made the entire apartment feel so much emptier. She heard every step, every noise inside of their home, and every one only hammered home how truly alone she was now.

She growled, throwing herself into her bed.

It doesn't matter, She thought angrily. What did she care? She had always been alone. She didn't need anyone else, didn't want anyone else. With Shinji out of the way, she was free to prove to the whole world who was really the best and brightest of the Evangelion pilots!

She drew her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. She heard Misato shuffling around the kitchen, probably wrapping Asuka's meal up and putting it in the fridge for if she changed her mind later. She heard the sound of the lights clicking off, and Misato's footsteps walking down the hall and into her own room.

Asuka's head dipped down, and she shuddered involuntarily. Her stomach growled, but she refused to give in, not after she had made a point of complaining to Misato. She had said she wouldn't eat that microwaved garbage, and she was going to stick to her word.

A scowl fell upon her face. Why is it so damn hard for her to take a few minutes out of her day to get something to eat? Even as the thought crossed her mind, Asuka knew it wasn't about the food. It never was, really. It was how Misato acted.

Like Asuka didn't matter. Like she came second, always second to Shinji. Like she wasn't even there, like she…

Like I was a doll.

Her scowl deepened, even as she tried her best to pretend the tears falling down her face were her imagination. I'm always just an afterthought to you, aren't I? She thought bitterly. It wasn't fair. She was the better pilot. She had known Misato far longer than Shinji, she was right there in front of her! Still there, living, and breathing, and walking, and still Misato ignored her in favor of Shinji! Everyone ignored her, everyone always ignored her!

Nevermind the fact that she hadn't run away half a dozen times. Nevermind the fact that she had trained her entire life to pilot Eva, while he had only a few months of experience. No, none of that mattered to Misato, or anyone else for that matter. Not when Precious Shinji was still trapped in Unit 01.

Who am I kidding? I'm not free. I was never free. She was just alone. No, worse than that…she was invisible. MIsato still lived with her, she still went to NERV for the occasional synch test, she attended school just like before…but now no one paid her any mind. At home and at NERV, everyone was preoccupied with getting Shinji back. And at school, all people seemed to care about was getting answers for why he was missing, answers she wasn't even allowed to give in the first place. No one cared about her. No one saw her. She was just…there. Invisible. Like she didn't have a voice. Like she didn't have a life, or will of her own.

Asuka shut her eyes, furiously blinking away the tears. Like a damn doll.

Just get back already, idiot, She thought desperately. Just…come back. She didn't miss him. Of course she didn't.

But…she missed not being alone. She missed not being invisible. She missed Shinji's cooking, and she missed how he managed to keep the house in order, despite how much of a slob Misato was. She missed his company, even if he was an irritating pushover.

But she didn't miss him. She couldn't miss him. Because if she admitted that she missed him, she'd be admitting she needed him here. And if she needed him…

Then what was she going to do if he didn't come back?

"Do you think perhaps Rei had a point?" The old man asked. "There is more we could be doing."

He snorted. "Hardly. We have done everything we can, within reason."

"Within reason," Fuyutsuki echoed. "He is your son."

"I am aware."

"He is her son as well," Fuyutsuki reminded him.

Gendo grimaced. "I am aware," He repeated through gritted teeth. "But what alternatives do we have? If Rei were to synchronize with Unit 01, use her AT field to reach out to Shinji and Yui…then SEELE would learn what she is. We've risked too much to gamble so heavily now. Besides, the point will be moot once we've succeeded."

"If we succeed," Fuyutsuki corrected. "That is by no means guaranteed. The old men have their own agenda, as do the UN, and plenty more, all in opposition to one another, and to us. Not to mention the Angels themselves. If we can't achieve the Scenario on our terms, and Shinji is still trapped, then-"

"If we can't achieve the Scenario, then what happens to Shinji doesn't matter," Gendo snapped irritably. "At that point, even if he were free, it wouldn't change his fate. Or ours."

"We may need him before the end," Fuyutsuki said. "It doesn't bode well for us if we're down a pilot."

"A replacement is being found."

"Your son is so easy to replace then?" Fuyutsuki scoffed.

"You know he is," Gendo said. "The Marduk Institute is narrowing down a candidate as we speak."

"Rei would disagree," Fuyutsuki said. "As would Yui."

"Do not tell me what Yui would think," Gendo warned, his anger beginning to rise. "And what Rei wants is irrelevant. I have made sure she is aware that our scenario is what's best for Shinji. She will follow orders, as she always has. And if not…" He shrugged. "There are spares."

He sat in silence, Fuyutsuki standing by his side as he so often did. Despite his words…he was not as unaffected as he acted. And he knew Fuyutsuki didn't buy it for a second. They had known each other too long, gone through too much together. They knew each other as well as two people could, while still barred from Instrumentality.

Fuyutsuki finally sighed. "Do you ever wonder if we were wrong?"

Gendo huffed. "About?"

"Everything," Fuyutsuki said simply. "About Instrumentality. About what we're doing, what we're trying to do. About Yui."

"No," He said immediately. "Never."

Fuyutsuki laughed at his blatant lie. "Really now?"

Gendo growled. "I have never doubted the need for our scenario," He said instead. It was less of a lie. "It is the only way to get Yui back."

"And you truly think you can bring her back? That she wants to come back?"

"Of course," He said with a frown. "We know we can. It is the foundation of our entire Scenario." He paused. "Have you finally begun to doubt me, old man? After all these years?"

Fuyutsuki sighed. "If I did, Ikari, I'd be holding a gun to the back of your head instead of standing by your side. And then I'd hold it to my own, for all the horrors we've done. No, I still believe in the Scenario, else I'd never put up with this."

The old man paused. "I just sometimes wonder who Yui will find when she returns. Because it certainly won't be the same men she left behind."

Gendo winced at how deeply his words cut, but he wasn't finished.

"And I sometimes wonder if she will be the same woman she was when Unit 01 took her."

Asuka slung her backpack over her shoulder, glad to be free from the confines of school. She still didn't understand the point of going there. She was a college graduate! She shouldn't have to put up with stupid kids and moronic teachers.

Hikari had been out sick for a week now, making it even more unbearable than usual, something she honestly found impressive. At least her classmates had finally stopped asking about Shinji, apparently realizing they weren't going to get any answers.

For some reason, it didn't make her feel better. If anything…she felt more hollow. And she didn't even know why.

Yes you do, A treacherous voice said inside of her. Because even if those idiots put together Shinji isn't going to come back…it means he isn't coming back.

Asuka shut her eyes, growling. Shut up, She thought forcefully. He was going to come back, sooner or later. He couldn't help it. He always had to show her up, didn't he? He'd come back. Probably before the next angel arrived. He'd come back, and everything would go back to the way it used to, and…and…

Her shoulders fell, her words sounding hollow even to herself. He wasn't going to come back. Almost certainly not. Nobody ever came back to her. They always left, and if they did come back they were distant, like Misato.

No, she'd always be just as she was now. Alone. Invisible. She used to hate walking home with Shinji, irritated at how much she was forced to be around him. Now…

Now she hated being forced to walk alone.

"Pilot Soryu?"

She stopped in her tracks, a scowl darkening her face. "Great," She muttered before turning to face Ayanami. "And what do you want, Wondergirl? In case you haven't been paying attention, Shinji isn't around anymore. You aren't going to find him trailing after me."

Rei frowned. "I am keenly aware of Ikari's absence."

She snorted. "Of course you are. So why the hell are you bothering me?" The only time Rei ever willingly spoke with her was when Shinji was around, or if there was an Angel attack, neither of which seemed very likely.

"I wished to speak with you."

Asuka laughed. "Yeah right," She scoffed, crossing her arms."

"Regarding Ikari," Rei finished.

"Hm," She huffed. At least that made a bit of sense. "Then quit beating around the bush," She said impatiently. "What about him?" She felt her heart begin to race, and she allowed herself to hope despite already knowing the answer. Was….was he back then?

Rei was quiet for a moment. "I think you should accompany me home."

Asuka raised an eyebrow. "And why would I ever want to do that?"

"I think you should accompany me home," Rei repeated in that maddening, monotone voice of hers. God, she wanted to punch her sometimes, just to see if she'd actually react. And Shinji wondered why she never got along with Ayanami. How could she? The girl barely even acted human.

"Yeah, I think I'm going to have to pass," She said with a roll of her eyes. "If you don't have anything to say, I'm just gonna go home. I'm not going to follow you home just because you say-"

"I think you should accompany me home," Rei said once more, surprising Asuka with how much force she put into her words. It sounded almost angry, and her eyes widened at surprise. Rei lowered her voice. "I have something to speak to you about, regarding Ikari. And I do not think it is something that should be spoken here, or anywhere else it may be easily overheard."

Asuka blinked in surprise, not fully registering what she was saying. "You mean…?"

"I am going home," Rei announced. "If you want to speak, follow me. If not, I am not going to force you." Without further pomp, she turned on her heel and began to walk off.

Snapping out of her haze, Asuka scowled. "Hey! Don't ditch me after begging for my presence!"

"I didn't beg for anything," Rei said calmly. "I requested you to accompany me."

"Same thing," Asuka shrugged, before frowning. "So…what exactly is going on? The only people who might overhear us is Section 2, and I know you don't give a crap what they hear." They answered to the Commander, after all, and if there was anything more annoying than how Rei trailed after Shinji, it was how she obeyed the elder Ikari almost mindlessly.

Only…Rei didn't bother to answer her. Asuka's eyes widened. "You aren't actually going behind the Commander's back, are you?" She hissed.

"It would be wise not to speak too loudly if you've decided on coming with me," Rei said in lieu of an answer. "We'll have plenty of time once we have reached my apartment."

Asuka growled in frustration at being denied her answers. For the first time since Shinji was taken by Unit 01, something actually interesting was happening. Wondergirl coming out on her own to ask to speak with her of all people, and apparently she didn't want the Commander to know about it.

If she wasn't living it for herself, she wouldn't believe it.

It was a long walk to wherever Rei lived, and slowly a pit began to form in her stomach as they moved deeper into the city, and the buildings became shoddier, the neighborhoods sketchier. "Where exactly do you live, anyway?" She asked, only now realizing she didn't actually know. "I figured you just kinda lived at the Geofront."

"I have my own quarters, appointed by Commander Ikari. They are suitable for my housing." Rei replied automatically, and for a moment Asuka was disappointed the flicker of emotion Rei had shown was gone. But then, after a short pause, she spoke in a quieter, more uncertain voice. "Shinji…did not think they were adequate."

"Shinji's been to your house?" Asuka asked in surprise.

Rei nodded. "Twice. Once to deliver a new ID card, and once to help me clean my apartment, after seeing the state of it during his first visit."

"Geez, how bad can it be?" Then again…Shinji had a habit of keeping their apartment clean as well. Maybe it was just a force of habit.

"I am not a good judge," Rei said. "I had no issues with my apartment. At least…I didn't use to have any problems with it."

They came to a sudden stop, and Asuka tilted her head in confusion. "Uh…Rei? I think you have the wrong building."

Her fellow pilot shook her head. "This is my apartment building."

Asuka made a choking noise. "It's abandoned!"

"It is not," She denied. "I live here."

Asuka blanched, taken aback. "Rei, this is a slum."

"It is my home," She repeated.

"How do they even let an Eva pilot live here?"

"I'm the only one who does, and so it makes it easier for Section 2 to monitor my security," Rei explained. "It also means that they don't need to put much in the way of surveillance throughout my building. It means we'll have privacy."

A shiver of excitement ran down her spine, and she nodded. "Then let's go."

She had no idea what Rei wanted to talk about, and even less about why she would want to keep it a secret from the Commander.

But it was about Shinji, apparently…and for some reason, that was all Asuka needed to follow Rei into her home.

IMPORTANT: This is going to remain a one shot for now. It obviously sets up a story for later, but as it stands I have too many projects on my hands, and too little time. This was written mainly as a way to overcome a little bit of writers block I've been experiencing. I would like to continue it, of course, but it may be some time before I do, and chapters will show up sporadically. Just wanted to get that out of the way.

So, fun fact, Evangelion is actually what got me into reading Fanfiction, and without it I probably wouldn't have started writing.

I haven't watched the show in a minute, so I may have messed up the timeline, but this is obviously set during the time Shinji is absorbed by Unit 01. I can't remember if him helping Rei clean her apartment happened before or after that, so apologies if I made a mistake.

The basic premise of this fic, is that Shinji never comes out, and this spurs both Rei and Asuka into action. Again, it'll be a one shot for now, but I do hope to tell that story sometime…relatively soon. (After I've caught up with other stuff.)

If you do follow my other work, rest assured I'm still working on them. It's been difficult what with my promotion (Which has been confirmed), and my laptop breaking, but I've been making progress. Plus, I wrote this entire chapter in one day, which is the most I've written at once in a WHILE, so hopefully this has gotten the juices flowing.

If you're a fan of RWBY, Code Geass, or Warhammer check out my page for a few fics! If not, that's all good. Feel free to leave a comment, I read through all of them.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!
Next Chapter: Either once I'm caught up with my other work, or when I need a break and want to write something else.