.

A Dream Within a Dream

Part 1

Chapter 10

Shepard ducked, and the sound of Garrus' fist whizzing by as he missed her by a hair. She kept her fists up as she danced back, ready for the next attack before it came. She jumped back again, aware of his long reach as she twisted, bringing her foot up in a lightning fast kick to his midsection. His forearm came up to block, but he winced at the force of the blow before dancing back as well, his breath coming heavy.

She could see her own improvement, and it was a heady feeling. Every time they spared, she was a little bit faster, a little bit better. Beating her was no longer an easy feat for Garrus or anyone else she went up against, and every time she entered the training simulations, they needed to dial the difficulty level up a notch. She grinned as she wiped the sweat off her forehead and returned to a ready position.

"You tired already, big guy?" She taunted, and Garrus grinned as he adjusted the clasp of his shirt before turning back to her.

"Not by a long shot."

They'd been going at it for about an hour at that point, and Shepard could feel the wear and tear seeping in. They'd need to take a break soon, but she was determined to finally get a hit in, an actual honest to goodness hit. Garrus was the hand to hand specialist on the Normandy in addition to being the best sniper. To get a hit in on him would truly be a sign of her improvement. Not to mention, it would wipe that smug grin off his face.

This time, she waited for him to make the first move. He took a step to the side, and she responded in turn as they began to circle each other slowly. With every step, they moved a little closer, then closer still, until they were nearly toe to toe. Every movement spurred a counter move by the other, their fists ready and waiting as neither made to attack first.

Garrus' foot swept out suddenly, more a test than an actual attack, and she jumped back, giving ground as he stepped toward her. She recovered, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she watched his eyes, trying to anticipate his next move. Without shifting his gaze at all, his hand shot out, reaching to block her counter as his other arm drew back for a follow up, but she knew this trick and was prepared to block and dodge.

She spun again, her foot coming up for another kick, but Garrus jumped back to dodge it again. Seeing her chance, Shepard lunged forward, her fists moving in quick succession. Garrus' arms came up to block, but without letting up, she brought her foot around to hook around his legs, sending him stumbling.

He saw her fist coming, and the sound of it colliding hard with his mandible seemed to reverberate through the room. His head snapped to the side as he absorbed the blow and stumbled back as his arms came up to block any further hits. Shepard's cry of triumph brought the round to a close as she thrust her fists into the air.

"Yes!" She exclaimed as she spun and strode away. She slammed her fist into her open palm as she turned back to Garrus with a gleeful grin. "Finally! I got you!"

"Yeah, yeah." Garrus brought a hand up to rub his sore face, but he smiled nonetheless as he watched her celebrate. "That was a good hit, well done."

"Thank you." Shepard ducked her head to him in acknowledgment. "Feels good to see the progress. I've never got a hit like that in on you before."

"You are improving. But don't let it go to your head," Garrus warned as they both moved back towards the center of the ring. "You still have a long way to go."

"I know." Elation roared in her chest, and dreams born of dark moments laying up at night crept into her mind. She brought her hands together and squeezed her fist, the knuckles popping with a bittersweet pain. A hunger boiled in her gut, one that had simmered ever since that night on the rooftop inside the Citadel. It was a temptation that called to her with the sweet, siren song of blood. "But someday, I'm going to be strong enough. Someday," she looked up at him with a furious spark in her eyes, "I'm going to kill Saren."

Silence reigned as she fell quiet, her admission lingering between them, and Garrus' face went stony as his smile melted into a hard frown.

"No, Shepard. You won't," he stated with deathly calm, and she felt a sudden stab of hot anger.

"The hell I won't!" She shot back as she glared at him. "He killed my mother. He murdered her. I won't let him get away with it."

"Well," something hot flashed in Garrus' eyes as they narrowed at her, "you'll have to find some other way to stick it to him. We don't. Fight. Spectres." The words came out clipped and firm, a law never to be broken. Shepard huffed out a breath through her nose as her lip curled down angrily.

"Eventually you won't be able to stop me." The statement came out like a whispered promise, and right then and there, she vowed to herself that nothing, nothing—not even Garrus—would prevent her from exacting her price from the monster who had murdered her mother, way one or another.

"Well, I'd rather you not die!" Garrus snapped back, his voice pained as he bared his teeth in a snarl. They stood there in silence as they glared at each other, and the entire sparring program seemed to huddle in tense anxiety. There was no wind in the leaves outside, no birdsong out the windows, and even Shepard's heartbeat seemed to hold its breath. Finally, he crossed his arms and looked away.

"Shit." He sighed, a long slow intake of breath followed by a ragged breath out. "I've been putting this off for too long. Anderson warned me not to wait. I think, maybe, he was right." Garrus cursed quietly again before pulling up his omni-tool. "Change of plans. We have one more training program for this evening before dinnertime." Shepard's brows furrowed at the sudden shift in plans.

"Which one? Is this a combat program or something else?"

"Something like that."

"You never mentioned anything about this." Garrus looked up at her, and then away again as his mandibles flicked in close to his face.

"I know. I'm sorry."

He hit the command, and everything around them dissolved into light.

When they loaded, Shepard was overwhelmed by the sudden familiarity of her surroundings. Skycars whizzed by overhead, leaving behind bright streaks of light in the dark sky. The lights from the windows and signs adorning the sides of the skyscrapers glowed, adding pops of color, and far above them, bright sections of the city were visible at seemingly awkward or impossible angles.

"The Citadel?" Shepard gasped as she gazed upwards before turning to stare at Garrus in shock. "We're inside the Citadel?"

"No, it's just a program designed to look like the Citadel," Garrus said as he looked away, his shoulders tense and his mandibles still firmly clasped against his face. He appeared supremely uncomfortable, as though he'd rather be anywhere else. It was strange, he always seemed so relaxed and self assured in nearly every other sim program she'd ever seen him in, the actual Citadel included. Seeing Garrus so unnerved was in turn making her feel more and more anxious by the moment.

"Then what's the purpose of this program? What am I supposed to learn here?" Shepard asked as she turned to inspect the empty city block. They were on Zakera Ward, though she couldn't immediately identify which neighborhood.

Garrus didn't respond as his eyes flicked to her and away again, seemingly incapable of meeting her eye. A shiver went down her back, and she spun as she got the sudden sensation that they were being watched.

Turning around, she examined the nearby alleyway. It stretched back into the darkness, the streetlights overhead failing to illuminate it well enough to see into its depths. Something within the gloom shifted and moved, causing the hairs on the back of Shepard's neck to stand up.

"Garrus, what..?" She trailed off as something moved closer. She could hear the sounds of footsteps, boots clicking against the hard ground. Garrus either didn't notice or didn't care, but Shepard steeled herself to meet whoever it was head on.

Finally, the shadowy form came into view, and two luminous blue eyes gazed out at her from the darkness.

"Jane. We meet again," the voice purred, deep and amused, a cat stalking its prey.

"Saren!" Shepard hissed as something hot and furious ignited in her blood. He looked just as she remembered him, and though she knew this couldn't possibly be real, she still felt a shiver as his cold eyes cut deep, right to her soul.

"No matter what happens," Garrus began, his voice a low murmur from where he stood nearby, "You'll be okay in the end." She turned to look at him with wide, confused eyes, but he looked away again as he winced. "I'm sorry."

With her jaw set in a snarl, Shepard turned back to Saren and fell into a ready pose as though it were second nature. Saren stepped from the alleyway, and she shot forward, her fist poised to attack.

Saren's backhanded strike hit her so hard and fast that she couldn't even see it coming. She crashed to the ground and rolled until she came to a stop, groaning in pain. Her skin stung, and bright red scratches stretched up her exposed forearms and across her palms. She couldn't be sure, but the screaming pain in her jaw said it might have been cracked.

Saren took a step toward her, and she tried to scramble to her feet, but her arms nearly gave out from the pain. Her head slammed back into the hard ground with a pop of stars, and when her vision cleared, he was kneeling above her, his fist gripping the collar of her shirt. His other hand stretched backwards, a bloom of bright blue light clutched in his fist. Panic beat at her rib cage as she brought her hands up to shove at him, but to no avail.

"Say goodbye, Jane," Saren crooned, and his fist slammed down toward her. She opened her mouth to scream for help, but it was too late.

An explosion of pain, and everything went black.

After a moment, red sparks broke through the dark void, and Shepard blinked. She was standing on a different street corner, and she was completely whole again. Her breath hitched as she brought her hands up to her face, the terrifying events of moments before playing through her mind. Her fingers came away clean, the blood and viscera she expected nowhere to be seen.

She looked down at her arms, unblemished and fine, and as she took stock of her body, no aches remained from her fight. Only the memory of excruciating pain. She swallowed nervously as she turned to look around her, confused and anxious. Garrus stood behind her, leaning against a wall with his arms crossed as he studiously watched the ground at his feet.

"Garrus, what just happened?" His eyes flicked up to her, then away again as his mandibles fluttered and snapped back against his face. He said nothing. Shepard could feel her pulse elevating, thrumming in her throat as she turned away to examine her surroundings.

They were in the warehouse district. Huge transports flew past every now and then, and people filtered in and out of a large building nearby. Looking up into the sky, she confirmed that they were, in fact, still within the strange copy of the Citadel.

She jumped as a door nearby whooshed open, and she spun around.

"Hello, Jane." Saren's smile was vicious as he stepped toward her, and Shepard immediately lowered herself into a defensive position as she glared daggers at the turian. Her heart beat painfully in her chest.

"You won't get the jump on me this time, asshole," she sneered as she waited, determined not to let her hatred make her stupid. She would wait for the attack, and counter it like she had so many times in the combat sims. She knew she was quick, and she needed to use that to her advantage.

Saren took another step toward her and extended his open palm out toward her. He began to glow blue, and she took a hesitant step back. Her eyes flicked to Garrus, but he was studiously ignoring them both, his shoulders tense. She looked back at Saren just in time for him to release the building energy.

Suddenly, Shepard was the one glowing. The strangest feeling overtook her body and her stomach churned as gravity abandoned her. Her feet left the ground and her arms windmilled as she struggled to regain control of herself. But the ground quickly floated away as she rose upward and began to rotate slowly.

Looking up in panic, her gaze locked with the barrel of Saren's pistol as he aimed directly between her eyes.

"I win, Jane."

There was a loud crack!, and the world went black.

Shepard took in a harsh breath of air as red sparks danced around her, and she opened her eyes to a dark rooftop. Her first thought was of the last time she'd woken up on a rooftop in the Citadel, but she immediately recognized this as a different one.

Her breath came hard and fast as her fingers whipped up to feel the smooth expanse of her forehead. No hole, no blood. Spinning, she found Garrus standing near the edge, his fists clenched tightly at his sides as he started up at the Wards above.

"What the fuck is happening?" She yelled, but besides a slight tightening of his stance, he ignored her.

A skycar detached from the stream overhead and flew down toward them before landing gracefully nearby. Shepard took a step backwards as the door snapped up. Fear coursed through her, leaving burning ice in her veins as Saren stepped from the cockpit, his movements relaxed and self-assured.

"Are you ready, Jane?" There was cold laughter in his voice as he moved toward her, and Shepard stumbled backwards as she fought the panic building in her gut. Steeling herself, she took a defensive stance, but remembered vividly how pointless it had been before.

"I'm not afraid of you," she hissed as fear all but paralyzed her. She could feel the cold sweat on her palms as she clenched them, but she remained where she stood, her feet planted in defiance of the monster before her.

"Oh, but you should be," Saren murmured as his body shifted, and in a flash he was raining blows down upon her. She blocked as many as she could, wincing and crying out with every hit that landed. She lost ground steadily as she stumbled and struggled to stay on her feet. Finally, her boot hit the low lip at the edge of the rooftop, and her mind raced as she tried to form some kind of plan.

"I win again, Jane."

Saren began to glow, and before she could do anything, she was hit with a massive, invisible blow that sent her flying backwards over the edge. She flailed her arms in an attempt to grab the edge, but already she was plummeting down towards the street far below.

Looking up, she could see Garrus watching from his spot by the edge, and she reached a hand out to him hopelessly. He ripped his eyes away, clenching them shut as he turned away. There was no eleventh-hour rescue this time, and the ground came up to meet her in an explosion of pain.

Once again, the world went black.

She was nearly hyperventilating when the red sparks faded and she found herself standing in the Presidium on a bridge spanning one of the small lakes. Garrus stood nearby, his eyes still clenched shut.

"Garrus, I'm done! I don't want to do this anymore!" She yelled, and he looked up at her with a pained expression. She pulled up her omni-tool, but there was no option to leave the sim. Her eyes darted across the interface as cold sweat broke out across her brow.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, and his eyes looked past her at something on the other side of the bridge. She spun to see Saren once again. This time, he appeared to have been waiting for her.

"Hello, Jane." She gasped as she took a number of steps backward, and he slowly began his approach. Shepard brought her fists up, but her whole body shook. She opened her mouth, but no words came out.

Taking a breath to steady herself, she forced her eyes to meet Saren's predatory gaze.

"I can do this," she whispered to herself, and his answering smile never reached his eyes.

"Can you, though?" His glowing hand came up again, and her whole body froze as though she'd been locked in a block of ice. She fought against the invisible bonds holding her, and even her lungs seemed to struggle to take in air. Her eyes rolled wildly as Saren approached, a wordless scream on her tongue. He drew his pistol and laid the barrel against the side of her head as tears began trickling down her cheeks.

"I win again, Jane," Saren whispered, and pulled the trigger.

The world went black.

Tears still leaked down her cheeks when she opened her eyes to find herself standing in a brightly lit shopping district. Her breath came out in pants and gasps as she looked around, her eyes darting from person to person in the crowded space, terror gripping her throat in a vise grip. Garrus stood nearby like all the times before, but this time he watched as she struggled to regain control, her vision tunneling.

"I can't beat him! I want to leave!" She shouted, the words coming out in a half sob. Garrus shut his eyes and took a ragged sigh.

"I know. I did, too."

"Please, Garrus!" Shepard begged as spun, suddenly overwhelmed by the sheer number of people around them. She began pushing through the throngs of people, her eyes searching for a sign of the person she knew would be there. She was painfully reminded of her flight from Saren the very first time they'd crossed paths. Bile curdled on the back of her tongue.

She crashed headlong into someone and bounced back before looking up into cold, icy eyes.

"Ah. Jane."

Shepard wanted to throw up as she froze. Possibilities ran through her mind as she took one step back, then another. Saren raised a single hand back to strike, and she turned and ran. Pushing her way between people, she took off as fast as she could. She darted back and forth, zig zagging as she utilized every ounce of her training in hopes of getting away. People screamed and cried out, but she paid none of them any mind as she shoved past them. Only one thought repeated endlessly through her mind.

Run. Run. Run. Run run run run run run run-

She made it around a corner and darted down a set of stairs, looping around to the next set before taking off through the open space below. Shops whizzed by, but she paid no mind to any of it. All she could do was run.

A sharp pain caught her just below the shoulder blade and her breath left her in a rush as her world became agony. Something hot and burning passed through her chest, the fire spreading outwards, and she hit the ground hard. Gasping for breath, she tried to push herself up off the ground, but her hand slipped in something warm and sticky, something that was spreading out around her in a steadily growing pool of red.

The world swam as black began eating at the corners of her vision. The pain slowly ebbed and cold numbness took over. Saren's satisfied smile came into view as he knelt down beside her.

"I win yet again, Jane."

Her eyes fluttered shut, and the world went black.

When she opened her eyes again, the single thought continued to play through her mind over and over.

Run. Run. Run. Run!

It was her single-minded purpose. Saren was coming, and this time, he wasn't going to catch her. Not again.

And yet he did. Time and time again, no matter what she did, no matter where she spawned, no matter what happened. Saren always caught her. Saren always killed her. Over. And over. And over again.

Finally, she opened her eyes as the red sparks blink out of existence, and she turned to Garrus, her legs shaking. They gave out, and she fell to her knees as she stared down at her shaking hands splayed before her in the dirt.

"I get it," she whispered, her voice hoarse and raw. "I understand the point of this." She looked up, but couldn't meet his eyes as she stared blankly at the wall beside him. "We don't fight Spectres. We can't defeat them. All we can do is die." Her shoulders slumped as shame welled up in her, pricking at her eyes as she forced back the tears. Shame that she'd thought so highly of her own abilities, shame that she hasn't listened, shame that she wasn't and never would be enough. "Please. Just make this end."

Garrus held out his hand to her, and she looked up to see blue smears across his palm, small cuts from where his talons had pressed too deeply into his skin. After a moment's hesitation, she took his hand, and he pulled her to standing. Letting go of her, he pulled out his omni-tool, and the program around them vanished.

Garrus pulled himself from his sim pod, dread lodging in his chest as his subvocals thrummed with a melancholic undertone. He looked over at Shepard's pod, but though the door had opened, she was just laying there, completely still.

He came to stand before her and offered her a hand like usual, but she stared right through him, her expression blank and empty.

"Shepard, you okay?" He asked hesitantly, but then her eyes snapped to his, and she reached forward. Instead of taking his extended hand, though, she grabbed the side of the pod and pulled herself out. Stepping aside, he let her pass as she turned toward the mess hall. She stumbled on the final step down, but she righted herself before he could reach a steadying hand out toward her. "Hey, wait up."

She ignored his words as she marched through the room, and he hurried his pace as he followed. Eyes watched them as they passed, but no one spoke. Anderson caught his eye where he stood behind Liara's desk, a knowing expression on his face. Garrus picked up his speed.

Shepard shoved the partially open door to the barracks open and strode inside, but Garrus caught it as she tried to slam it shut behind her.

"Shepard, wait. We need to talk."

"I get it, Garrus!" She spun to glare at him, her wide eyes twin flames as they bore into him. He could see her hands quaver, the horror of the sim having followed her into the real world. "I understand the goddamn point of the training exercise. You made your point. Now just leave me alone!" With that, she spun on her heel and threw herself onto her bunk. She gave her privacy curtain a yank, and it slid shut with a finality that stabbed through him with piercing accuracy.

"Fine," he sighed before turning to leave. Slowly, he entered the mess hall, but the idea of conversation made him sick, so despite his lack of appetite, he beelined for the stack of clean bowls. He felt a firm hand on his shoulder, and he turned to see Anderson watching him with empathetic eyes.

"I know it was hard. But it was necessary." The older man said quietly, and Garrus turned away to fill his bowl.

"Yeah. I know," he grunted as he watched the rations slop into his bowl. "And I've supervised it before. I just…" He grabbed a spoon before turning back to Anderson with a sigh. "It's awful. I vividly remember how awful it is to go through that training. Putting her through that, watching her die over, and over, and over…" He looked down at his bowl and his stomach churned uncomfortably.

"I know, son." Anderson gave his shoulder a squeeze before stepping back. "But no one who's ever gone up against a Spectre has lived to tell the tale. Ever since the Fleet developed that program, we've lost far fewer new recruits to foolhardiness. It will be worth it in the end if it saves her life."

"I know," Garrus repeated as he looked away, the searing memory of Shepard's bloody corpse imprinted firmly within his mind. "But I don't know if she'll ever forgive me."

"She will. Did you hold it against the person who trained you?" Anderson asked with a small half smile, and Garrus shook his head. "Neither did I. No one does, especially after they encounter an actual Spectre in the Citadel for the first time. It's a necessary part of our training regiment. Just give her time, she'll be okay. Maybe give her the day off tomorrow." Garrus nodded as he looked away. They moved toward the table, and he sat down.

"It won't be long until she's mission ready. A few more weeks, I think." He felt a swell of pride in his chest as a soft smile stretched across his face. "She truly is remarkable."

"Yes, I agree," Anderson nodded as he sat across from Garrus at the table. "As soon as you deem her ready, give me the heads up and we'll move into transmission range. I'm excited to see how she performs as part of the team."

"Yeah," Garrus murmured, "me, too." If she ever forgave him, that was.

Shepard wasn't sure how long she lay in her bunk, sleep eluding her as she stared at the wall. Saren's face haunted her memories as her mind replayed her various deaths at his hands over and over on an endless reel. Anger swelled up in her chest like a balloon, pushing painfully on her ribs as it fought for space against the overwhelming fear that resided there.

Why the fuck did they think such a traumatizing training program was a good idea? Had Anderson signed off on that? Did everyone undergo that program? What on earth was wrong with them? How did murdering someone over and over accomplish anything good?

Saren's smirking face swam before her vision, and her heart seized. She could feel cold, clammy sweat on her palms as her pulse quickened, and she desperately returned to her place of safety within her mind. Her flame and her void. Despite the fact that it lacked the warming comfort that it had once had before her initial unplugging, it still imparted a deep, detached calm that she found essential in moments such as these.

The barracks door opened, and she stiffened, listening carefully. Booted feet stepped into the room, but they lacked the gait of a turian, and so she let herself relax slightly. She knew deep down that she shouldn't blame Garrus for what happened, and she knew they'd work past it eventually. But right then, he was the last person she wanted to talk to.

"Shepard?" It was Jenkins. He stood just beyond her bunk, obscured by her privacy curtain, but she could hear him shifting awkwardly.

"What is it, Jenkins?" She grunted, her voice a dull monotone that fell flat even to her own ears. She couldn't bring herself to care. She heard his feet shuffle as he hesitated, seemingly unsure.

"I, er… Well, I overheard them talking in the mess earlier…" He trailed off before gathering the courage to continue. "I heard that you underwent the Spectre preparation training program a little while ago." His voice was quiet, a whisper, as though the mere mention of that program gave him the shivers.

Shepard didn't answer. What was there to say? The last thing she wanted to do was talk about what she'd gone through.

Jenkins shifted, and there was a rustle of rough fabric as he sat down on the floor beside her bunk. Shepard looked over her shoulder to check that her privacy curtain was still drawn. It was, so she rolled back over to glare at the wall.

"Go away, Jenkins," she muttered, her voice hard. She didn't want to come across as unkind, but she desperately wanted to be alone. There was a moment of silence, and Shepard almost wondered if she'd missed his retreat until he spoke up again.

"Okay, I will. But I just wanted to let you know that I had to do that training exercise a few weeks ago." Shepard blinked and sucked in a harsh breath. She could remember a few days not that long ago when Jenkins hadn't seemed his usual cheerful self. He'd kept to himself, but she'd been so wrapped up in her own training that she hadn't thought anything of it at the time.

"It really sucked," Jenkins continued with a sigh. "I'm so sorry you had to do that. From what I understand, everyone has to, but it doesn't make it any easier." There was another rustle as he stood. "I understand if you don't want to talk about it. I didn't for a while, either. But if you do, I'm here. And I'm sure just about anyone on the ship can empathize." He paused. "Even Garrus."

She snorted, a fresh wave of anger flowing through her, but it was short-lived. She couldn't shake the image of a younger Garrus being thrown off that roof top, laying in a pool of sapphire blue blood over and over again. The thought made something in her chest clench painfully. Had they all really undergone the same experience? Had it been her own conceit and arrogance that had led Garrus to initiating that training, or was it really something everyone was forced to endure eventually?

Shepard clenched her eyes shut as she let go of a long exhale. Before that training program, she'd been feeling so confident, so sure of herself. But the exercise with the simulated Saren had been eye opening. She'd repeatedly had her own insignificance thrown in her face. She was as far from being able to defeat Saren as she was from being able to grow wings and fly. She grit her teeth as furious, helpless tears pricked the corners of her eyes. Her mother deserved better than her murderer going free, but there was nothing she would ever be able to do about it.

"Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I'll see you later," Jenkins murmured, followed by the sound of his footfalls as he made for the door. Before she could think, Shepard spun and ripped her curtain open.

"Wait," she called out, and the younger man paused as he turned to look at her with surprise. She didn't know what to say, she didn't even know why she'd asked him to stay. Words refused to find her tongue, and she looked away with discomfort. Finally, she settled for something easy. "Thank you."

Jenkins smiled and shoved his hands in his pockets as he shrugged. "It's no problem. We're all family here. We're the only family we have, really. We have to watch out for each other." Shepard felt the corners of her lips tug upwards, his positivity more infectious than she'd been prepared for.

"Yeah. I guess you're right." She shifted her legs around so she was sitting up, and after a moment, Jenkins came to sit beside her.

"Don't take it out too hard on Garrus. He didn't make you do it because he wanted to." Shepard sighed, but after a moment she nodded her understanding.

"I know you're right. It's just going to take me a little while to process what happened."

"Yeah, it was the same way for me. I still have nightmares about it. But I just doubled down on my training and it was okay in the end." He looked at her with consideration before changing the topic. "You know, I was unplugged months before you, but you've already passed me in your training. That's totally not fair." Despite his words, his grin was bright and friendly, and Shepard felt something tight in her back and shoulders begin to unwind.

"It's okay, though," He added with a shrug. "I know fighting isn't really my strongest skill, and that's fine. I'm not really even sure why they assigned me to a combat ship. I feel like they probably could have found somewhere else for me to be useful. But if this is where they need me, then I'll do my best."

"Don't be hard on yourself," Shepard said gently, "If you're still here, then it's because Anderson sees something worthwhile in you." Jenkins' smile grew more genuine at the compliment.

"Thanks. But I think it will be a long time before they take me on any missions inside the Citadel."

"Perhaps. But after everything I just experienced," she swallowed down an unexpected wave of nausea, "The Citadel is the last place I want to be at the moment."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." He nodded knowingly, his face sympathetic. "But after a while, this ship starts to feel a little small." Logically, Shepard knew he was right to feel that way, though having access to the simulator seemed to help her immeasurably.

"Have you gotten to visit the Fleet yet since you were unplugged?" She asked, suddenly curious.

"No, not yet." He shook his head, his smile becoming wistful. "We haven't had any reason to dock yet. But we'll have to restock eventually, and I'm really looking forward to it. Vega told me that the Fleet really has a culture all its own. It should be really interesting."

"Yeah." Shepard fought back a yawn, exhaustion curling around her bones. Jenkins noticed and made to stand.

"I hope you get some rest. Trust me. Everything will feel better in the morning. You'll be back at it in no time." Shepard nodded her thanks, and he turned to leave. Laying back down, she closed her curtain, and within moments, her eyes sank shut as she was whisked off into unconsciousness.