Running From the Headlines
Blood is rising in her cheeks, she stares down at the paper in front of her, decorated with signatures, one empty space left for her own. She clicks her pen, "So this is it. You're just throwing everything away based on a lie."
"If that's how you see it, go ahead." His response makes her suck in a breath. She tries to keep her composure. She lowers her voice, staring at him across that table with daggers in her eyes.
"He's my step-brother, Peter."
"Who are you trying to convince?"
"What is that supposed to mean?"
Peter rubs a hand over his face, "Casey. Just sign it. And this will all be over."
With one, last, lingering glare, she swiftly glides her pen across the paper, signing it and then doing the same on another identical page.
Peter lets out a sigh of relief and his lawyer pulls the paper from her, glancing it over to ensure its accuracy.
"I hope you kick your habit of lying, Casey. For the sake of any poor soul who tries to get close to you ever again." Peter says, getting up from the table and walking out the door, his attorney following closely behind.
If she's being completely honest, she has been expecting the divorce for quite some time. She had known that she and Peter were drifting apart, he was spending less and less time at home. He would say he was going to retire but never did. Even when he quit playing hockey he then just transitioned to commentating and stayed the same amount of busy as before.
He made excuse after excuse not to come home. He would have the kids fly out to him, he'd even make plans with them to have these amazing adventures when they'd be with him, but he always made sure it was around a time when Casey couldn't accompany them due to some big cases she had been working on.
She assumed that he had found someone else, and of course he had. She found out that he was cheating on her about six months prior to their divorce being finalized. It was a pretty fast process all things considered. Of course she had been upset, distraught, when she found out about his infidelity. But again, things had already been falling apart before that. So while she was sad, she wasn't shocked. Not by that anyway.
No, the shocking aspect to all of this was Peter's insistence that Casey had been lying to him through their entire relationship.
They met in college, fell in love fast, got married and started having kids even faster. Much faster than Casey had ever planned on. Of course she dreamed of finding the perfect man and having the perfect husband and perfect family since she was a young girl. Ever the romantic. So when she met Peter, star hockey player, charismatic, loving guy that he was. She was smitten.
They created their lovely little family and everything was going so well. Until they weren't.
Peter started making these weird comments, at first in passing, about Casey's relationship with Derek. Derek had made a name for himself as a musician and she was proud of him, but he was rarely around the way he used to be.
After a bit, Peter would get annoyed any time Casey brought Derek up in conversation. There were times when they'd all be visiting back at home, Peter would make a point to insert himself between the two of them. They didn't fight the same way that they had back in high school. But there was definitely still a tension between them that they toyed with.
There were times in her life when - while she'd never admit it out loud to him - she considered Derek to be one of her best friends. One of those friends that you playfully argue with and you know that neither of you mean any malice. He is fun, always has been - he makes her feel youthful in ways that no one else can. It's almost indescribable.
And Peter hated their dynamic. He made that pretty clear. Even if he didn't outright state it at first. It all came to a head one day when Casey and Peter were in the grocery store. They'd made it to the checkout aisle and Casey was putting all of their items on the conveyor belt. Peter was staring at the magazine rack, just reading the headlines.
"What the hell?!" He started raising his voice. Casey turned around to see what he was on about and saw him holding a tabloid that read 'Derek Venturi's new Mystery Girlfriend?' The title was hovering over a picture of Derek and Casey dancing at a concert that they'd gone to, Casey's hair covering her face. "You wanna explain this?"
Casey felt totally caught off-guard. Explain what? That she and Derek went to a concert (that he knew they were going to) and were dancing together? What is to explain? "What do you mean, explain it?" She furrowed her eyebrows, completely perplexed by his outburst, "You know we went to that concert! What, are we supposed to just stand there like wood planks and not dance to the music?"
"So there's really no reason why this literally calls you his girlfriend?" He asks, thumbing quickly through the pages to see if there were any other incriminating photos. There wasn't any.
"It's a trashy tabloid magazine, Peter! They sell drama by making things up! I don't know what you want me to say."
"Right. Sure, I'm sure that's all it is." Peter responded sardonically. He puts the magazine on the belt.
"I'm not buying that thing." Casey argued.
"Fine. I'll buy it." Peter countered, as if they didn't share a bank account. He picks it up and asks the cashier to ring it out separately.
"You're being ridiculous."
Peter didn't speak for the rest of the grocery shopping trip and when they arrived back home, he went to his office, put the magazine in his filing cabinet, and locked it.
The same situation happened a few more times. Any time Casey was seen in public with Derek, there would be some sort of story written about it - but no one could ever get a clear picture of her, which she was thankful for.
Derek wasn't so famous that people were prying too deeply into his life, but he was enough of a person of interest that people would take these paparazzi-type photos of him from time to time. He tended to keep his private relationships just that, private. Even when he had dated people, the public rarely knew about it happening- let alone their names.
"Can't he just… clarify this publicly? Like - doesn't it bother him that people think he's dating his step-sister?" Peter asked one night.
Casey sighed. "He's a very private person, Peter. He doesn't just… talk about that stuff." Peter groaned. "Besides, if he did, it would put me and our family under more scrutiny; don't you think?"
Peter dropped the subject after that but he would continue to make his disdain known in other ways throughout the years. He'd roll his eyes when she was on the phone with Derek, he would hesitate when Casey wanted to bring the kids home to visit the family during the few instances that Derek would also be attending.
Derek didn't like Peter either, but who could blame him? He was very cold towards Derek, hardly speaking to him, and in the rare occurrences that he did, it was not a pleasant conversation. He never brought up any of these same concerns to Derek himself, which Casey was thankful for. She couldn't even imagine how mortifying that would be.
The harsh tone of her phone ringing breaks her out of her slumber. Her eyes adjust slowly to the sunlight as she wildly flails her arm in search of her cell. She doesn't even check who is calling, still groggy from just waking up. "M'ello?"
"Sleeping past 9:00 AM on a Saturday? You've really lost it, haven't you?" His familiar voice soothes her, despite him trying to antagonize her.
"What do you want, Derek?"
"Well I was going to come barging in unannounced but it seems my key is no longer working. Really stole my thunder."
Casey's eyes widen. She had changed the locks about a week before the papers were signed since Peter had already moved out. "You're here?!"
"I'm at 414 Welch Ave, so unless you moved, yes - I'm outside your house."
Casey springs to her feet, grabs her robe, and rushes down the stairs, phone still at her ear. Even though she knows what she's going to see when she opens the door, the sight of him still renders her speechless. He hangs up the phone with a smirk and bends down to pick up a bag that's sitting on the step beside him.
"May I?" He asks, and it's so unlike him, yet so like him at the same time. He just said he was about to come in unannounced, yet when she's standing there with the door wide open he still asks for permission.
She steps aside with a nod, finally lowering the hand that is holding her phone and putting it in her robe pocket. Derek steps inside, bag in hand, and a different bag - a duffel - slung over his shoulder.
He keeps walking. The house is silent. Empty except for the two of them. She follows him until he reaches the kitchen. She doesn't know why, but her heart is racing. What is he doing here?
Casey watches as he places his duffel on the ground and the other bag on the kitchen counter before he starts unloading it. It's… food. Groceries. Just normal stuff. Her staples. He puts them away exactly where they belong - because of course he knows the intricacies of her kitchen organization. The last item is a half-gallon of triple chocolate chunk ice cream that he puts in the freezer before turning around to where she is just staring at him from the doorway.
"Did my mom tell you?" She asks, simply.
Derek hangs his head. She knew it. Nora couldn't keep a secret to save her life. "Actually… Peter called me."
Casey's heart rate spikes. That's probably the worst possible outcome. "Lovely."
"That guy is such a prick." Derek states, and Casey laughs. She can't help it. "Anyone ever told you that you have terrible taste in men?"
Casey rolls her eyes, "Only like a thousand times, but I'm sure you remember as you were the majority of those comments."
"Well, what can I say? I'm always right." Derek smirks again, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back against the kitchen counter.
"Did you just come here to deliver groceries and gloat? Because I appreciate the food, but I'm not sure I can handle the 'I told you so's." Casey vents, and she means for it to be more playful, but it hits too hard and she feels her eyes sting. A warning.
Derek swallows, his demeanor changing along with hers. He takes a few steps toward her.
"Peter said some… things… on the phone."
Casey freezes in place. There's no way this man not only cheated on her because he deluded himself into thinking that Casey was cheating on him, but he told Derek about his delusions?! She really had hoped that he would take those to his grave.
"He said you were a liar, and - well if I know anything about you it's that you're a terrible liar." Derek continues, "Which I told him, of course, and he said - and I quote 'She's lying to herself.'" He makes air quotes with his fingers. "I asked him what the hell he was talking about but he just told me to go fuck myself and then hung up."
Casey's breathing is uneven. She doesn't really know what to address first or how to even speak. Thankfully, Derek notices she's internally spiralling. He places a hand on her arm. It calms her, if only a little bit.
"I- I don't… I'm sorry he called you." She lands on this because it's safe. It doesn't really address any questions that Derek might have. It doesn't make her self-reflect at all. It's just an apology for the inconvenience she's caused.
Derek narrows his eyes, "I don't give a fuck about that, Case."
The abrasive word pulls her focus to him. She finally looks him in the eyes. Which she shouldn't have done. Here comes the self-reflection. This is it. This is what it's always been about. Her skin burns where his hand is touching her, his eyes are laser-focused on hers, trying to read her like a book. She closes her eyes in an attempt to stop him.
"Do you want to tell me what he's talking about?"
She laughs hollowly, "Not really."
Surprisingly, he lifts his hand and backs up a step. "Okay. You don't have to."
The lack of pressuring her should be a relief, but instead, she feels a pit forming in her stomach. Sheer dread filling the space between them. Derek looks around, settling his gaze on the fridge to his right.
"He… cheated on me." She starts, and Derek whips his head back toward her, "He justified it because he thinks…" God, she can't finish. Once she says it - it's out there between them. She can't take it back. Everything will change.
"Thinks what?"
"He thinks that I cheated on him with you first." And there it is.
There's an extended silence that, if Casey's keeping track accurately, goes on for about ten years, she's sure of it.
Derek closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, "He thinks we-"
"Yes." Casey interrupts. She doesn't want him to finish the sentence.
There's another silence.
"Based on what, exactly?" Derek asks, eyes open, looking at her again, and Casey takes a deep breath.
That's the million-dollar question, isn't it? She knows the answer. But she doesn't want to examine it. It's been over twenty years since they met. They have a deep and dynamic history that spans those two decades. Of course this all 'started' with the tabloid magazines, but there wouldn't be a story to report if they were hanging on each other the way they were. Peter wouldn't have been so cold to Derek from the very beginning had it not been for the way they interacted with each other.
The truth is Peter was right. She had been lying to herself.
But she has no reason to any longer.
"When was the last time you went on a date?" Casey asks.
Derek laughs, "Wha- I go on plenty of dates, I'll have you know." Casey doesn't respond, she just stares at him, waiting. "Fine. I'm going through a… two-year dry spell. What does that have to do with anything?"
"When was your last meaningful relationship?" She continues, but this time she doesn't wait, "Let me guess - Shayna?" Skyler's mom, who Derek dated after ditching Queens.
Derek folds his arms over his chest again. "What are you trying to say?"
"My point is, neither of us have been in happy, fulfilling relationships in our entire lives." Casey explains. Derek looks her up and down, assessing.
"Point taken," Derek confirms. "So, what - you're saying because I haven't been in a healthy relationship I can't come in here and critique yours? Because that's not what I was trying to do."
It's Casey's turn to narrow her eyes, "No, Derek. I'm saying that I was never happy in my marriage to Peter and he knew that." Casey replies, almost in anger. "And the reason I could never be truly happy with him is because he wasn't you."
Derek's mouth falls open slightly. Surely he can't be shocked by this admission, but it does seem like he is. While Casey is aware she had been lying to herself and Peter for years regarding this, she somehow still expected him to be completely aware of her feelings.
"Maybe I was wrong to assume that you also had the same… preoccupation that didn't allow you to develop meaningful relationships…" She continues, nearly rambling at this point, "If so, I'm sorry-"
Derek lifted a hand to Casey's face, cradling her cheek. "You're serious?" He asks, the corner of his mouth twisting slightly upward.
"You think I want to boost your ego unnecessarily?"
"I'm trying to be so considerate right now and not kiss the everloving shit out of you the day after you signed your divorce papers, but-"
"I hate you." She says, gripping a fistful of his shirt and pulling him down to meet her lips. It feels like the sun exploded inside of her and her skin was recreated with the burning embers of it. His hands make their way to her waist and hers snake around his neck. They lock together perfectly - as if it should have always been this way. Their mouths move in tandem, and Derek's hands wander across the expanse of her back. She doesn't really know how long they kiss for, but it's not long enough. It never will be to make up for the decades they lost not being with each other.
They end up in her bed, entangled in each other.
"I could go for some triple chocolate chunk ice cream." Derek sighs into her neck. "Thank God a nice, handsome man brought some over this morning…"
Casey rolls her eyes, but smiles, "I knew the ice cream wasn't for me."
"Hey! You can totally have a spoonful or two!"
"How generous!" Casey laughs.
Derek pecks a kiss on her chin before getting up from the bed. She's lying there, only covered by the bedsheet. She notices him staring. "What?" She starts to feel self-conscious.
He shakes his head, "I just can't believe this is real." He sits back on the bed, leaning into her space, "You were right. I've tried everything - I feel horrible for the women that I've even attempted to date. They never stood a chance. But I just… I never thought we'd- never thought you would-" He keeps cutting himself off but she understands.
"I know." She nods.
Derek closes his eyes, "Shit." He kisses her again, deep, impassioned. Forget the ice cream. They get lost in each other again.
Eventually, they'll have to deal with the repercussions. Whatever their parents will think, Lizzie, Edwin, Marti, Simon… the kids. They'll have a lot of explaining to do. But those who don't get it aren't worth their time. And they're not worrying about it right now.