"Do you remember when we once agreed about focusing on something?"
The whisper… of a familiar one...
"Do you remember the last time we argued with each other for our own sake of insanity?"
Each word carried its own weight… Made me feel sick and… disgusted…
"Do you still allow me to control you?"
…
…
…
Voices… only things I heard was the strange voice echoing around my mind…
It… tried to whisper something to me. Something I don't remember nor understand, but it reminded me of the hatred… from the dimming memory.
"Do you forgive me for the time I made terrible decisions?"
As it continued and continued…
"Do you understand the difference between us?"
Drowning me in its sickness…
"Remember our last time friend?"
"Do you still allow me to control you?"
''...control you…''
''...control you…''
''...control you…''
''...control you.."
"To continue ó̵̢̢̢̨̤͎̦̯̖̤̙̲̻͔͖̞͎͈̬̫̺̮͈͖̬̟̖̦̟͙̱͐̄̀͛͒̈́͆̾̉͛̑̚͜ų̸̧̧̤̠͓̝͕͓̗̝̫͚̤͈͉̹̜̫̬͈̮̩̜͈̹͓̰̼̺̰͈̖̋͋̔́̊̽̇͜ṙ̷̫͑̓͊̇̆̈́́͋͠ ̸̨̧̥̪̻̻̤̮̙̭̮̥̥̮̠̟̠̱̪̬̳̦͎̹͚̹͚̓͛p̷̧̨̡͙̦̼̳̬͕̯̥̳͔͍̯̖͍̝͍̱̻͈̖̥͈̜͙̹̭͉̲̥̼̳̓͆̑̅̐͐̈̅̈̃́̋̊̆̋̈́͗̓̍͒̓̚̚̚̚͠͠a̵̡̨̗͙̝͔̬͚̲̋̔̍̏͆͊̓̈̒̈́̋̈́̓̑̈͋̅͐̆͘̕͠͝͠͠͝ṯ̵̨̛͍͔̠̩̓̽̂̆͌̌͐̐̆̍̆̇͆̿̎̀̌͐̄͂̿̆̑̌̈́̂́̀͛̄͂̀͐̊̌̿̐̔͘͠͝͠͠h̸̢̢͉͙̲̰̱̤̣̻͎̟̳͖͔͕̼̥͚̹̤͓̳̪̙̦̪̟͍͔̼͉̮̹̯̰̞̲̳̟̠̼̲̭̫̉͑̄͂̓̎͋̓͊͐̈̂͒͗̇̿̿̍̋̿̕͘̕͜͜͝ͅͅ?̸̛̥̹̫̱̝̜̙͙͖̦̯̩̙̺͙̑͋̀͒̓̊̈́̾͐͂̋͑̃̿̾͝''
'̵͙̐'̶͖̑D̶̻̉ó̸͔ ̶̡͝y̵̢͠ȍ̶͎û̴̟ ̵̲̋f̶̝̔e̶̱̿e̸̠͛l̸̩̊ ̶̡̎ṭ̴̃ḩ̵͗ȩ̶̀ ̶̦̉f̷̺̈́é̶̲a̶̠̕r̴͎̋?̸̰̀'̷̨́'̴͇̊
'̴'̸T̸h̸e̶ ̷o̶n̵e̸ ̵t̴h̴a̵t̴ ̵f̶o̷l̷l̶o̶w̴s̵ ̸u̸s̶ ̵f̴r̷o̷m̵ ̴t̵h̶e̸ ̸b̶e̵g̴i̴n̶n̵i̶n̶g̴ ̵t̶i̸l̴l̶ ̸n̷o̸w̴?̸'̶'̷
''Do you…?''
The whispering voice continued to echo throughout the void of my thoughts. It's a painful voice with no peace, only hate. It's relentless, vicious, and hateful…
That voice made me feel a deep hate… The hate that made me crave for the end… It's painful… too painful to endure.
I need to stop it…I… I can't… take it anymore.
"Who are you? What do you want from me? " I asked, confused, trying to understand the voice's meaning.
The thought in my mind was like a void with nothing more than darkness… Now with this whispering voice, it's filled up with sadness, hate, and… worthless. The dark color blue…
"Don't you look like a genius, when you trust me?"
''Don't you see the difference between you and me? You are such a brilliant one, do you know?''
''You are pretty much a smart one. Don't you know?''
''You see our differences, but you still willing to put trust in your foe? What a genius I did say.''
The hate… The hate… built up with each word. They were mocking me… torturing me with hatred… from the failure of the past.
"Why do you trust me?"
"Why do you accept me?"
''When you know the risk I could make…''
''Then so here we are…''
''…''
"I thought you were the one who changed first…"
"But know you in this state… such a disappointment of humanity…''
''I will help you change.''
''You will remember all of this when the time comes.''
''You will understand all of the message of yourself when the reality becomes one.''
"Do you hear me, my long old friend?"
"̶̛̠͉̙͎̳D̵̥̭̜̺̉ͅỏ̸͚͓̫͎ ̵͔͆̊̏̓̆y̶̛̟̘͒ȯ̸̘̚û̶͍̝͙̦͊̂̽?̸̪̝̘͍̫͆̆'̸̨̟̮̅̏̃̕͝'̶͇̳̞̅̉̇̑
̴͎̟͑
H̵͔̤̭̱͒̂͛̈́̈ͅẽ̸̩͓͇̫͇̌̅̅̚á̷̠̘̫̺͑̆̓r̶̘͕̺̳͂͜͠'̴̺̿̉̕'̸̹̭̭̈̉̃
̷͖̦͇̯̋͘'̸̭̄̈́̌͘'̷̛̩͎̘̣̈́̒̋͘m̴̫̓̀̾̅̈́e̸͔̼̝̩̙̊̎̂?̸̨͎͙̐͜'̴̫͓̮̹̓̉̕͝'̵̧̥̙̭͇̄̄̚
Chapter 1: The call of Ragged flesh
December 15th 2004
5:30 am
…
A convoy of garbage trucks moving between a thick layer of snow. As they pass the empty wasteland with only thing there is snow and snow. Dead and silent. Almost no living things exist in that land. Except humans.
''We reached that destination. Come on people, let's just dump these loads in this place. They will burn those thing later.'' The lead truck drivers stated in radio comn.
As the lead finishes his words. They start to gather around a trashed, polluted field.
That place smells just so horrible, everything around is frozen and dirty. This place is polluted beyond saving. Almost nothing can even live there, only poor animals decide to go there to scavenge for anything left, and billions of bacteria happily live in that place.
But all of that, people in Schicksal at Babylon labs don't have better options to take care of their trash and experiment stuff. If they stop piling their trash and burning it in one place, the cost will be extremely high and will even get some negative reputation from normal citizens. So this is the only way to minimize the cost to spend and damage reputations…
Bringing those trash out already destroys their sense of smell and lungs. But to grab and take care of those thing everyday and every years are the next level of mind fuck.
Such a disgusting job…
Harmful and deadly smell when they open garbage bins… Their air-protection masks barely do anything to clean the air for them. Hazmat suits, inside are covered in both sweat and tears, while outside is waste and trashed chemicals…
But at least, their jobs are giving them good pay, instead of fighting Honkai or working in labs which can be killed any moment, they just have to suffer this hell and he will receive what they deserve.
…
''Huh… Hey Micheal! I need some help with this bag!'' He calls his co-worker to help him. "They won't just stop these experiments…"
Micheal replies with every 'dead inside' tone. "*haiz* Yeah, they tested some unholy shit again… Like what the report already stated."
"Why don't they stop these experiments… There must be another way around, right? Not just use innocence to experiment things." He says bitterly.
"...Pretty much we can't really do anything about it… Well, close your eyes and accept their fate. Come on, let's carry those bags and leave this place as fast as possible, Ed. I don't want to spend more time in this hell."
"Like what you said anyway dude…''
As they both pick up the trash bag, they still struggle for a bit and until able to transport it.
Blood leaking out of the bag, mixed with chemicals. They notice the blood too, disgusted by it, but their options right now are only let that slide away.
They're not a type of humanity patriotic or anything like that. They are just normal humans, who want to live comfortably without worrying about death. But if fate calls them, and demands them to die, they won't resist and fight back. Just accept that. And die meaninglessly.
Seeing the blood leaking out, only makes Ed and Michael feel more unease about it.
Ed feels pity for whoever is inside this bag. Knowing life as the lab rat is far more miserable than them…
Michael also feels… pity for those innocent forced to be the lab rat.
Almost surely, no one ever wants to be a lab rat without permission, ever.
They know and understand the reason why Schicknal does it. But they can't understand why humanity has to push this far to survive and fight back the Honkai.
''If Honkai wanted to destroy humanity, let them be… Too much suffering happened, too much pain was done… I'm too tired to live in fear like this… I fear death, but I hate this pain in my heart even more…'' Ed thinks with some mixed feelings.
…
Michael then taps Ed's shoulder, signaling him to get back the truck, as they have finished their job. He nods, and rightfully follows his co-worker's signal.
But he still looks back to the waste pit where they threw that heavy bag down, ready to be burned tomorrow.
—-
"Such… a beautiful moon." compliments in the dark night sky of Siberia.
A child… sits at the tree root looking at me while watching the moon.
She has no eyes, no emotion, only a mouth.
Her long white hair that ties her with a dead frozen tree that is still standing.
Her body, hand and leg are covered by dead spiky-vines.
Her hand held a long silver cross but covered in her blood. Due to the damage of those vines' spikes.
Her blood just fills up the ground whatever she moves.
The surrounding area is so… death, calm and peaceful.
She just looked like a dead person at that point.
It… horrifies me. But she turns back and looks at me with her eyeless face, tapping the ground next to her.
I sat there next to her. Watching the moon with her…
''If you feel the pity toward those unfortunate ones…'' She spoke with such an appealing voice…
''Then please… Save her, Misha…''
''Provide her with care, and comfort.'' As she continued and continued. I feel her desire…
''So to let the new star be borned…''
"Do you hear me, Misha?"
"̶̛̠͉̙͎̳D̵̥̭̜̺̉ͅỏ̸͚͓̫͎ ̵͔͆̊̏̓̆y̶̛̟̘͒ȯ̸̘̚û̶͍̝͙̦͊̂̽?̸̪̝̘͍̫͆̆'̸̨̟̮̅̏̃̕͝'̶͇̳̞̅̉̇̑
̴͎̟͑
H̵͔̤̭̱͒̂͛̈́̈ͅẽ̸̩͓͇̫͇̌̅̅̚á̷̠̘̫̺͑̆̓r̶̘͕̺̳͂͜͠'̴̺̿̉̕'̸̹̭̭̈̉̃
̷͖̦͇̯̋͘'̸̭̄̈́̌͘'̷̛̩͎̘̣̈́̒̋͘m̴̫̓̀̾̅̈́e̸͔̼̝̩̙̊̎̂?̸̨͎͙̐͜'̴̫͓̮̹̓̉̕͝'̵̧̥̙̭͇̄̄̚
…
I picked up the call from my boss.
''Why he's calling me in this hour…'' I thought in my dizzy brain after that sudden wake up… About the dream that just feels… so surreal.
Yet, I feel it tries to tell me something…I have to find out what it is, as I should.
''Yeah sir, what wrong?''
…
''A strange person in our trash pit?''
…
''What kind of person will go to that hell in this hour!? I refuse to go-''
…
''BUT-''
…
…
''Fine…''
He ends the call while he grits his teeth in annoyance. Then he looks at the rifle which is displayed on the shelf in front of his bed. He only left out a sigh.. Then mumble himself in his room.
haiz*
''I will call him… Hope he won't punch right in my face for this.''
…
''Ed?''
''Ye. Meet me at the abandoned security gate. We got a job to do.''
''Alright, I will meet you later. The sooner, the better.''
11:00 pm
4 Gas masks, 2 Hazmat suits, 2 flashlights, a Mosin Nagant rifle and an axe. Michael takes all of them out and gives Ed.
As they wear these gear. Ed speaks up with a vexed tone. ''So… There is a figure at the waste pit and that guy is not allowed to enter that hell hole…?''
''Ye, I don't want to take it either, but who's gonna do that besides us? Even we at the risk of losing our job too.'' Michael answers him.
''... Literally, we don't have any security guard huh?''
''Well, those security guards already died during the 2st Hierrsher war, man. They are willing to cut-budget this place, and continue to focus on their immoral research… Besides, we are the only ones here who know how to fight.''
''Well fuck…''
Then Ed only takes the axe. And gives the Mosin to Michael.
Michael looks at him in surprise, like *Why did you give this to me?, and Ed's answer is just a half-shrug.
Sigh…*
''Alright, you better be the only one survive.'' Michael speaks up in a displeased tone.
''Who knows? Maybe I'll meet our creator first? Yes that will do. Hahah…''
''Alright alright that's a bad joke…''
They're moving through thick layers of snow, each dry frozen branches and bypassing the dead forest. While wary of the environment around them, they start regretting this request, but they have to.
The dread of moving through the cold dark dead forest in Siberia just… Disturbing.
Ed is scared. He fears this dark night, not because he scares the dark. But the unknown inside the shadow… the dreadful feelings are crippling in his spine. He can't let this fear overwhelm him, he should not. And he won't.
Michael feels uneasy around. He senses the fear of his friends. He understands, and knows they can't fight in this cold weather. Yet, he decides to, and even brings his friend to this unknown possibility request. He also feels a bit too curious about the message of that dream. What was she meant about taking care of someone? What did she even want him to do? He doesn't know. Maybe never know? That all messes up his brain…
''Hope I won't fuck up this job like many times ago…'' Michael thought.
''If you don't mind, I was dreamed some sort of 'fallen' angel when I sleep.'' Ed speaks up, as he recalls his dream.
''What do you even mean 'fallen angel'? Horny thing in this place?''
''No no. Well, you see. I dream of a child-like girl. She has snow or silk white long as hell hair. No face. No emotions. Only a child's body that is covered in blood of what she calls Sinful Blood. When I talked to her, she mentioned something like… Saved the new god. Or bla bla something like that. But I don't understand a bit about whatever code she gave me…''Ed describes the few details of his dream that he still remembers a bit. ''But well… In the end, that was just a weird dream. I don't know about you but surely you know this kind of thing too.''
Ed finishes, and looks at Michael who seemingly is lost in thought, as he with him continues to walk through this cold place.
''Yo! pay attention around man!'' Ed says while give Michael a light slap behind his head.
''Huh? Ed what in the fuck?''
''Time to move on!'' Ed speaks up, making Michael just give up his intent to scold the shit out of him.
The duo continues to walk. With each step that seemingly calls them to death trap. They caution, like hopeless victims on No Man's land. They can be killed at any moment, as they assume that possibility.
Maybe there is a Honkai beast that is somehow still alive from their experiment? Or persons from sort of ''savior'' organizations that are the enemy of Schicknal?
Until they reach that hell…
Silence.
The only thing they notice is the silence, death and nothingness in this place. Only things alive are them, Ed and Michael.
But to them, there is something out there. Alive, barely alive.
Hand tighten on the rifle. The axe ready to be used. Radio ready when things go south. Flashlights fully charged. And their minds are sturdy like an iron.
Ed and Michael look at each other and nod. They need to search harder.
Ed heads to the pit to check it.
While Michael goes to a nearby watch tower to look from above and to support him from afar.
…
Suddenly, Ed sees a movement in the distance at the trash pit.
It slowly climbs out the pit, Ed shines the flashlight on it while getting near that thing. Meanwhile Michael behind, ready his trigger finger and will shot that thing at the moment trouble appears.
The light reflects a small hand grab tightly on the pit wall. A small hand of a child.
The small fleshy hand that has skin torn apart. Blood leaking out like the raindrop.
Dirt, ashes, sand, trash, and chemicals,... everywhere stick in its hand.
Its hands… are shaking. In Cold, Fear, Pain, And Dying.
Ed when sees that hand just freaks him out a bit. Because of the disturbing condition of its look, add the extremely disgusting smell around too. That just makes him want to throw up right away…
But seeing that hand shaking, he already confirmed himself that it is the real hand and actually alive. He is still unsure whether it or if it needs help. He has to check it clearly.
He continues to move. He hears the groaning, breathing sound. The sound of a child at the death door.
Dying or Exhausting. It all sounds and feels the same.
As he moves closer, the more that torned hand tries to hold that wall pit, the more shaking off it.
He continues and continues, until he sees its face.
A face that holds thousands of unfaceable memories.
crack*
Then it slipped, falling down the nearly bottomless trash pit.