FEEDBACK rewrite

Her legs were around me on the huge hotel bed. The only light filtered in from the wall of windows along one side of the room. I could just make out the shape of her and I kissed her neck, her clavicle, her breasts just above her bra. Her icy cold fingers had found their way under my shirt and the sensation activated my brain again.

Make sure she's enjoying this, Jake.

Sometimes I heard the voices of ex lovers in my head. Most of the time it was Eva, the war photographer. Twenty-eight to my eighteen. She would speak to me as if she knew I would go on to sleep with other people. I guess she was right.

"Mind if I switch on the lights?" I ask.

"Sure," she whispered.

The bedside lamp was just enough to illuminate her expression. Desire. Unambiguous desire.

Slowly. Slowly.

I held her gaze as I pushed up her skirt. Felt the goose flesh at her stocking tops and the coil of hair beneath her underwear. I brushed my fingers over her there. Fingernails grazing against silk. Light touches.

"Mmph," an adorable high pitched moan escaped her lips. She clapped her hands over them and giggled.

"You like that?" I asked.

"Mmm, yes. No. You're driving me crazy."

That made me smile. I slid my fingers inside her underwear and felt the slick and swell of arousal. The next moan was deeper. She fumbled with the buttons on her blouse, exposing the transparent lace of her bra and the blush of pink beneath. I cupped her small breast with my free hand, pressing the flesh lightly. She liked that. I applied a little more pressure and knees jerked up. Back arching. My fingers slipped inside her.

Her hands were unbuttoning my pants.

"I want you," she whispered.

"One sec," I said. I was in and out of the bathroom to grab protection in three seconds and when I returned to the bathroom her skirt and blouse were on the floor. I took her underwear in my teeth and pulled it down over those suspenders and then took a second roll the condom on while she lay back and watched me, jaw still slack with hunger. I arched over her, holding my body away so I could feel just the brush of her nipples against my chest.

Make sure she wants you.

I held still until her gaze found mine. Her hands tried to pull my hips down on top of hers, but I resisted. She whimpered, lifting her pelvis up.

I smiled and slid one inch of my dick inside her, breaking eye contact to kiss the pulse point of her neck, but not moving my hips any more.

"Jake," she whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Fuck me. Now."

I watched her expression on the first slow thrust, making every inch last. Her nails dug into my back, and then my lips were at her neck again. I remembered the way her body curled when my hand was on her breast, so I used my hands and mouth on them, enjoying the flimsy black lace of her bra beneath my fingertips, revealing and then concealing her nipples. I slowly built the pace of my thrusts. Her arms and legs were coiled around me now, my cheek pressed against hers so tight I could barely lift my head. The room swam and I was lost on precipice of pleasure, trying to keep the end from coming too soon. I smelled the red wine, the roses—

Check on her, Jake. That was pure Cassie.

I inhaled and tried to turn my head. She held me so close my eyelashes were on her brow, but I could see that she was staring into space. She was frowning.

"Beth?" I whispered.

"Huh?"

"Do you want to get on top?" It was a low pressure question. One that could create a second of space while our bodies separated. I lay against the pillows as she straddled me. "We don't have to keep going if you don't w—"

Her hand covered my mouth, and the mirth was back in her eyes.

"Oh, but I want to," she said.

I watched her tilting her pelvis, finding an angle that she liked, and then she placed a hand either side of my head and the rhythm began again. I held her hips and watched the motion ripple up her stomach as she rode me. As she built speed she struggled with the clasp of her bra and gave up, opting to pull it over her head like a tshirt. As if exhausted by this she collapsed on top of me, and the tension increased. I was suddenly very close to the edge. Too close.

"Beth, sit on my face." She froze. "Oh, um, only if you want to," I said hastily. "I just didn't want to come yet."

"Oh," she said. Her eyes were down. She looked really uncomfortable. Maybe she was less experienced in the bedroom than I thought?

The blood was rapidly returning to my brain. I needed to think of something to put her at ease.

A memory trickled up from a conversation I overheard a few years back. I'd been in a college bar and there were two girls talking close enough for me to hear. One girl was worldly and the other was shy. They were on their third margarita and the conversation turned to oral sex. The shy girl complained she didn't like receiving it because she "didn't know what to do". The worldly girl found this idea hilarious. "Don't know what to do? Do you think a man worries about what to do while you're sucking it?" They both erupted into giggles and I subtly found a new place to sit.

Maybe this worldly girl was the mentor I needed.

"I'm sorry if I startled you, Beth. I like giving head. And you can just act like a guy when I'm going down on you." Her expression changed from embarrassed to horrified. "No! I mean— that came out wrong. Look I just meant— um, when a guy gets head he just enjoys it. I thought maybe you weren't sure how to be so I— It was just a dumb way of me saying I wanted you to enjoy yourself. And I'm a fuckin' idiot."

I shut my mouth, and thank god there was a glint of amusement in her eyes. "I've never—"

"You don't have to. Sorry. I interrupted you, you never?" I said. My nerves jangled and I silently swore to keep my mouth shut this time.

"I've never done that," she said. "Never sat on—" she shook her head shyly. "I think I want to try it. I just— okay this is embarrassing. I didn't know that was a thing."

"Oh, sure," I said. I carefully kept my face neutral.

"I was homeschooled," she said as if that explained everything. I didn't want to ask any probing questions and I guessed it's possible that a woman might not have encountered the concept, even after moving out of home.

"Want to cuddle? See if the mood comes back?" I asked.

It did.

Half an hour later she was stretched out against the pillows and my chin was inches from her pubic bone. "May I?" I asked.

"What was your advice again, Jake? Pretend to be a man?" She grinned coyly.

"If by that you mean shut your eyes and think of what turns you on, then yes," I said.

I pressed my tongue to her clit. Felt her go swollen and wet. Her hands were in my hair and her knees came up. I stole a glance upwards and saw her arched back, wide mouth, sharp nipples. She let out one final deep moan and relaxed onto the bed.

I slid inside her once again and came quickly after. Then pulled her into my chest. I was so tired.

"You're beautiful, Beth," I murmured, then slept.